Normalising what you are doing and involving the child in the breastfeeding is often enough to satisfy their curiosity. Some may want to breastfeed again, which may only last a short time. If you are relaxed about this, always let the baby feed first or feed from the fuller side if the sibling wants to feed at the same time. I have known mothers who have a lot of milk let the older child breastfeed to help to manage their generous milk supply, which can work very well. Of course some siblings do react badly to the new arrival. I worked with a mother whose two and a half year old daughter was very resentful and would bite and hit the baby intentionally. The mother could never leave the baby alone with its sibling. The baby was not long home from the hospital when her partner had to travel leaving her alone with the two children. She was awaiting the arrival of family from overseas to help with the older sibling. So great was her disquiet about her daughter’s behaviour that she intended to seek professional help if family support and a little more time didn’t make a difference. Seeking help from a child psychologist is not an admission of defeat but a practical way of resolving issues of concern before they become problematic.
There is no one-fix solution that will help you if the older sibling doesn’t take well to the new baby. Listen to hints and tips from family and friends and keep your mind open about the changes you are all experiencing. Patience, reassurance and one-on-one time with your toddler or young child whenever possible, can ease the transition. I do recommend The Science of Parenting (DK Publishing, 2008) by child psychotherapist Dr Margot Sunderland. Sunderland explains how the brain develops in babies through to school age children. Understanding the behaviour of your toddler or very young child will give you some insight into what they are capable of managing and understanding. In the case of a new baby, this can be very helpful for you in helping him adapt to the arrival of his sibling. Good Luck! Written by Lynne-McKensey Hall RN, RM, MN(Ed), IBCLC Author of the Breastfeeding & Baby Matters series, available at www.betterbeginnings.com.au and Berkelouw Bookstores
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