I live in the beautiful Cotswold countryside with my family, and I’m a country girl at heart. I first started writing when my mother gave me a writing kit for Christmas, and once I started I just couldn’t stop. Living Dangerously was my first novel and since then, I haven’t looked back. Ideas for books are everywhere, and I’m constantly inspired by the people and places around me. From watching TV (yes, it is research) to overhearing conver sations, I love how my writing gives me the chance to taste other people’s lives and try all the jobs I’ve never had. Each of my books explores a different profession or background and my research has helped me bring these to life. I’ve been a porter in an auction house, tried my hand at pottery, refurbished furniture, delved behind the scenes of a dating website, and I’ve even been on a Ray Mears survival course. I love being a writer; to me there isn’t a more satisfying and pleasing thing to do. I particularly enjoy writing love stories. I believe falling in love is the best thing in the world, and I want all my characters to experience it, and my readers to share their stories.
Also by Katie Fforde Living Dangerously The Rose Revived Wild Designs Stately Pursuits Life Skills Thyme Out Artistic Licence Highland Fling Paradise Fields Restoring Grace Flora’s Lot Practically Perfect Going Dutch Wedding Season Love Letters A Perfect Proposal Summer of Love Recipe for Love A French Affair The Perfect Match A Vintage Wedding A Summer at Sea A Secret Garden A Country Escape
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 Arrow Books 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road London SW1V 2SA Arrow Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.
Copyright © Katie Fforde Ltd 2017 Katie Fforde has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. First published in Great Britain by Century in 2017 First published in paperback by Arrow Books in 2018 www.penguin.co.uk A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN 9781784757274 Typeset in 11.58/15.7 pt Palatino LT Std by Jouve (UK), Milton Keynes Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A. Penguin Random House is committed to a sustainable future for our business, our readers and our planet. This book is made from Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper.
Dear Reader,
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Who would have thought there were so many different ways of experiencing Christmas? Although of course there are as many Christmases as there are people, I’m only used to having the one. I had great fun writing these stories; in fact I think I slightly prefer my Christmas to be in story form. I have a bit more control over events that way! So here is a book of Christmas short stories for you. I did one a couple of years – A Christmas Stocking Feast – and that was such a great experience I decided TheagoChristmas 1
The Christmas Stocking 1 Christmas 63 in toAdoDream another. Last time, all except one of the stories had been featured ACandlelight Dream Christmas 63 Christmas magazines over theat years. That little volume used up all my existing111 supply, Candlelight at Christmas Dogs so Are 187111 however, thisfor timeChristmas only two of the stories – ‘Candlelight at Christmas’ and Dogs Are for Christmas 187 A Christmas in Disguise 253 ‘A Christmas in Disguise’ – have appeared before and that was in digital form AThe Christmas in Fairy Disguise 253 Christmas 321 only. All the others are brand new! The Christmas Fairy 321 A sneak peek of A Country Escape 397 One of them was inspired by my grand-dogs, so called because although A sneak peek of A Country Escape 397 they belong to my daughter, I helped hand rear them when their mother died tragically a year ago. They are a joy to us all, even though they covered my house in mud regularly until finally we fenced off the pond. They also love to embarrass me in front of my daughter and her husband, by clambering on my furniture and generally doing things that they know they aren’t allowed to do at home! Which proves I’m not a fit grand-dog mother at all! I do hope you enjoy these stories, and that they may offer you a little light relief when real-life Christmas is getting a bit frantic! With love and Happy Christmas Katie xxx
ToToAnnie Annieand andWilson, Wilson, my mymuch muchloved lovedgrand-dogs. grand-dogs.
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The Christmas Stocking
The TheChristmas Christmas Stocking Stocking A Dream Christmas The Christmas Stocking DreamChristmas Christmas AA Dream at Christmas ACandlelight Dream Christmas Candlelight at at Christmas Christmas Candlelight Dogs Are for Christmas Candlelight at Christmas DogsAre Arefor for Christmas Christmas Dogs A Christmas Disguise Dogs Are for in Christmas A Christmas in Disguise AThe Christmas in Disguise Christmas Fairy AThe Christmas in Disguise Christmas Fairy Fairy The Christmas A sneak peek of A Country Escape The Christmas Fairy A sneak peek of A Country Escape A sneak peek of A Country Escape A sneak peek of A Country Escape
1 1 1 63 1 6363 11163 111 187111 111 187 187 253 187 253 253 321 253 321 321 397 321 397
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Contents Contents
The
Christmas Stocking
The Christmas Stocking The Christmas Stocking A Dream Christmas The Christmas Stocking A Dream Christmas Candlelight at Christmas ACandlelight Dream Christmas at Christmas Dogs Are for Christmas Candlelight atChristmas Christmas Dogs Are for A Christmas in Disguise Dogs Are for Christmas A Christmas in Disguise The Christmas Fairy AThe Christmas in Fairy Disguise Christmas A sneak peek of A Country Escape The Christmas Fairy A sneak peek of A Country Escape
A sneak peek of A Country Escape
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ItItwas wasSaturday Saturdaymorning, morning,the theday daybefore beforeChristmas Christmas Eve, Eve,and andthe themild, mild,damp dampChristmas Christmasweather weatherhad hadsud sud denly denlybucked buckeditsitsideas ideasup upand andturned turnedcold. cold.Romy Romywas was suddenly suddenlyfreezing. freezing. She’d She’dbeen beenselling sellingChristmas Christmasdecorations decorationsininanan old oldstation stationbuilding buildingatata abustling bustlingCotswold CotswoldChrist Christ mas masmarket marketand andshe’d she’ddone donewell wellininthe thefirst firsttwo two hours. hours.But Butnow, now,ininspite spiteofofwearing wearingmasses massesofoflayers layers under underher herleather leatherjacket jacket(including (includingher hernot not very very cool cool thermal thermalvest), vest),two twopairs pairsofofsocks socksunder underlong long haired haired sheepskin sheepskinboots, boots,a apair pairofofstripy stripyleg legwarmers warmersover over her herjeans jeans(a(alater lateraddition, addition,courtesy courtesyofofone oneofofthe the 33
other otherstalls), stalls),and anda afurry furrytrapper trapperhat, hat,the thecold coldwas was beginning beginningtotopenetrate. penetrate. She Shelooked lookedlongingly longinglyatatthe therefreshments refreshmentsstall stallthat that was wasdoing doinggreat greatbusiness. business.She’d She’dbeen beenup upatatthe thecrack crack ofofdawn dawnand andshe’d she’donly onlymanaged managedtotograb graba abanana banana and andmuesli mueslibar baron onher herway wayout. out.Also, Also,her herboiler boilerhad had just justbroken brokendown downsosothe theshower showerhad hadbeen beentepid tepidand and the theflat flatfreezing. freezing.AAcup cupofofsomething somethinghot, hot,and andmay may bebea abacon baconbutty, butty,would wouldgive giveher herstamina staminafor forthe theday day ahead. ahead.But Butififshe sheran ranover overtotobuy buya acup cupofoftea teashe she might mightmiss missvaluable valuablesales salesfrom fromthe thegroup groupofofpeople, people, mostly mostlymen, men,who’d who’djust justentered enteredthe thebuilding. building. Although Althoughititwas wasonly onlyabout abouttwelve twelveo’clock o’clockthey’d they’d obviously obviouslyjust justcome comefrom fromthe thepub. pub.They Theyprobably probably thought thoughtthey theywere weregetting gettingtheir theirChristmas Christmasshopping shopping done doneearly, early,with withChristmas ChristmasEve Evestill stilltotogo, go,perhaps perhaps safe safeininthe theknowledge knowledgethat thatthey theyonly onlyhad hadone onepres pres ent enttotobuy. buy.Adoring Adoringwives wivesand andgirlfriends girlfriendsno nodoubt doubt would wouldbebebuying buyingpresents presentsfor formothers, mothers,sisters, sisters,‘Auntie ‘Auntie Flo’s Flo’sand andanyone anyoneelse elsenecessary. necessary. She Shenoticed noticeda aman mancome comeininbehind behindthe thegroup groupand and atatfirst firstshe shecouldn’t couldn’ttell tellififhehewas waswith withthem, them,ororon on his hisown. own.He Hewas waswearing wearingmotorbike motorbikeleathers leathersand andhad had a asort sortofofswagger swaggerabout abouthim. him.He Hehad hadslightly slightlylong, long, dark darkblond blondhair hairand andwalked walkedwith withdetermination. determination.As As hehedidn’t didn’tappear appeartotobebedrunk drunkand andwasn’t wasn’twearing wearinga a crumpled crumpledsuit, suit,she shedecided decidedhehewas wason onhis hisown. own. Romy Romyreckoned reckonedhehewas washere heretotobuy buya apresent presentfor for his hisgirlfriend girlfriendororhis hiswife, wife,and andsososhe shegave gaveherself herselfa a 44
minute minutetotostop stopfinding findinghim himrather ratherattractive attractiveand and think thinkabout abouther herown ownboyfriend. boyfriend.Gus Guswas waswaiting waiting for forher herininFrance, France,with withhis hisparents, parents,getting gettingready readyfor for a abig bigfamily familyChristmas. Christmas.She Shelooked lookedaround aroundher herstall, stall, wondering, wondering,for forthe theseven seven thousandth thousandthtime, time,ififhis his family familywould wouldappreciate appreciateher herpresents, presents,samples samplesofof which whichshe shewas wasnow nowselling. selling.There Therewas wasa adifference difference between between‘home ‘home made’ made’and and‘handmade’ ‘handmade’and andshe shewas was going goingfor forthe the‘handmade, ‘handmade,personalised personalisedlook’. look’. She’d She’dmet metGus’s Gus’sexpat expatparents, parents,who wholived livedinin France Francebut butdidn’t didn’tseem seemtotospeak speaka alot lotofofFrench Frenchoror have havemany manyFrench Frenchfriends. friends.His Histwo twosisters sistersshe shehad had checked checkedout outthoroughly thoroughlyon onFacebook. Facebook.They Theywere were nice nice looking, looking,sensibly sensiblydressed dressedand andlooked lookedlike likeadver adver tisements tisementsfor forBoden Bodenwith withtheir theirshiny shinyblond blondchildren, children, whose whosewhite whiteteeth teethwere wereevidence evidenceofofregular regulartrips tripstoto the thedentist dentistand andlimited limitedaccess accesstotofizzy fizzydrinks. drinks. For Forthe theelder eldersister’s sister’sthree threechildren, children,Romy Romyhad had done donea aset setofoffrosted frosted glass glassjam jamjars jarswith withsilhou silhou ettes ettesofofMummy Mummyand andDaddy, Daddy,allallthree threechildren, children,and and the thedog dog(a(aLabrador). Labrador).She Shehad hadbeen beenaiming aimingfor fora a generic genericchild childbut butactually actuallyshe shefelt feltshe shehad hadachieved achieved a alikeness. likeness.ItItwasn’t wasn’tananideal idealpresent presenttotobebecarrying carrying on ona abudget budgetairline airline – – she shehadn’t hadn’twanted wantedtotospend spend extra extramoney moneyon onhold holdluggage – luggage – but butshe shethought thoughtthey they were werenice. nice.For Forthe theyounger youngersister’s sister’stwo twolittle littleboys boys she shehad hadpainted paintedplain plainwhite whitelantern lanternfairy fairylights lightswith with figures figuresfrom fromMinecraft. Minecraft.Finally Finallyboth bothwomen, women,and and their theirmother, mother,were weregetting gettingsilk silkscarves, scarves,hand hand painted painted 55
bybyRomy. Romy.Perfect Perfectfor forcarry carry on onluggage. luggage.She Shewould would buy buypresents presentsfor forthe thehusbands husbandsatatthe theduty duty free freeshop. shop. Alcohol Alcoholwas wasalways alwaysacceptable. acceptable. As Asshe sheran ranthrough throughthe thechecklist checklistininher herhead headwhilst whilst surveying surveyingher herstall, stall,Romy Romyfelt felta aswell swellofofpride prideatather her handiwork. handiwork.She’d She’dbeen beenworking workingsosohard hardthis thisseason, season, doing doingallallthe thelocal localmarkets marketsand andChristmas Christmasfairs, fairs,sell sell ing ingher herChristmas Christmasdecorations. decorations.ItItwasn’t wasn’ta amajor major earner earnerbut, but,apart apartfrom fromthe therent rentfor forthe thestall, stall,ititwas was almost almostallallprofi profi t. t.And Anditittopped toppedup upwhat whatshe sheearned earned from fromher herpart part time timejob jobwhile whileshe shewas wasdoing doinga amas mas ter’s. ter’s.She Shewas wasproud proudofofthe thedecorations decorationsand andonly only hoped hopedGus’s Gus’sparents parentswould wouldappreciate appreciatethem themwhen when they theyopened openedtheir theirpresents. presents. Thinking Thinkingabout aboutthem themasasa afamily familyshe sherefl refl ected ectedthat that while whilethey theywere wereallallkind kindenough, enough,they theywere werevery veryhearty hearty and, and,going goingbybythe theparents, parents,had hadloud loudvoices. voices.She Shedidn’t didn’t really reallyobject objecttotothe thevolume, volume,ititwas wasthe thebackslapping backslapping and andteasing teasingthat thatwas wasonly onlyjust justthe theright rightside sideofofcruel cruel that thatbothered botheredher. her.And Andthey theyallallthought thoughtthat thatanything anything not notentirely entirelypractical, practical,like likeart, art,was wasa acomplete completewaste waste ofoftime. time.ToTomake makematters mattersworse worseRomy Romyknew knewshe shehad had only onlybeen beeninvited invitedtotoFrance Francebecause becauseGus Gushad hadtold toldhis his family familyher herown ownparents parentswere weregoing goingtotoNew NewZealand Zealand for forChristmas. Christmas.Really Reallyshe shewould wouldhave havepreferred preferredtoto spend spendChristmas Christmaswith withfriends, friends,but butshe shewould wouldhave have felt feltungrateful ungratefulturning turningdown downthe theinvitation. invitation. Gus Guswas waslovely, lovely,ofofcourse, course,and andRomy Romyhad hadbeen been mad madabout abouthim himwhen whenthey’d they’dfirst firstgot gottogether. together.But But 66
a ayear yearininshe shesometimes sometimeswondered wonderedififshe’d she’donly only been beenattracted attractedtotohim himbecause becausehehewas wassosodifferent different from fromher herprevious previousboyfriend. boyfriend.He’d He’donce onceadmitted admitted totoher herthat thathis hisfriends friendswere wereallalla abit bitshocked shockedthat that he’d he’dchosen chosensuch suchananarty, arty,indie indietype typewhile whileatatthe the same sametime timeenvying envyinghim himfor forhaving havingsuch sucha agorgeous gorgeous girlfriend. girlfriend.When Whenthey theyfirst firstmet methehehad hadasked askedher her rather ratheranxiously anxiouslyififshe shehad hadany anytattoos. tattoos.She Shehadn’t, hadn’t, but buthis hisquestion questionmade madeher herthink thinkofofgetting gettingone, one,a a bat batperhaps, perhaps,on onher herwrist. This wrist. Thistrip triptotoFrance Francewould would bebea abit bitofoftest – test – ififtheir theirrelationship relationshipsurvived survivedthey they were wereprobably probablymeant meanttotobebetogether. together.She Shewished wishedshe she didn’t didn’tfeel feelsosoambivalent ambivalentabout aboutititall: all:the theChristmas Christmas and andthe therelationship. relationship. ‘Here,’ ‘Here,’said saida avoice. voice.‘I‘Ithought thoughtyou youcould coulduse usethis. this. You Youlook lookcold.’ cold.’ ItItwas wasthe theman manininleathers, leathers,handing handingher hera amug mugofof spicy spicyhot hotchocolate. chocolate. She Shetook tookititwith witha agrateful gratefulsmile. smile.‘Thank ‘Thankyou yousoso much,’ much,’she shesaid. said.‘I‘Icertainly certainlycould coulduse useit.it.I Ihardly hardly had hadtime timefor fora acup cupofofinstant instantcoffee coffeethis thismorning morning and andmy myboiler boilerhas hasbroken.’ broken.’She Shetook tooka aheart heart warming warming sip. sip.‘Please, ‘Please,take takea alook lookround roundthe thestall stalland andhave have something somethingfree. free.For Foryour yourgirlfriend, girlfriend,maybe?’ maybe?’ She Shehated hatedherself herselffor forwhat whatmust mustlook looklike likea ablatant blatant bit bitofofdigging diggingbut butititwas wastoo toolate. late. ‘I‘Ihave haveactually actuallygot gother herpresent,’ present,’said saidthe theman. man. Judging Judgingbybyhis hisexpression, expression,heheseemed seemedfairly fairlyconfi confi dent dentthat thathis hisgirlfriend girlfriendwould wouldlike likeit.it.Romy Romyknew knew 77
ititwas wassilly sillytotobebedisappointed – disappointed – ititwasn’t wasn’tasasififshe she was wasfree freeherself – herself – but butsomehow somehowshe shewas. was. ‘Well, ‘Well,that’s that’sgood! good!Most Mostmen mendon’t don’teven evenstart start thinking thinkingabout aboutitituntil untilChristmas ChristmasEve Evesosoyou’re you’rewell well ahead.’ ahead.’ ‘I‘Ido doneed needsome someChristmas Christmasdecorations decorationsthough; though;my my house houseisisa abit bitofofa ashell shellatatthe themoment. moment.My Mygirlfriend’s girlfriend’s been beenhaving havingananearly earlyChristmas Christmaswith withher herfamily familyinin Connecticut. Connecticut.I Iwant wantthe theplace placetotolook lookamazing amazingwhen when she shecomes comesback. back.Make Makeher herreally reallyfall fallininlove lovewith withit.’it.’ ‘Well,’ ‘Well,’said saidRomy, Romy,having havingnow nowsipped sippedenough enoughhot hot chocolate chocolatetotowarm warmher herup. up.‘Christmas ‘Christmasdecs decsare arewhat what I Ispecialise specialisein. in.All Allmade madebybyme. me.And Andthere thereare arethese, these, inincase caseyou youmissed missedthem.’ them.’She Shegestured gesturedtotoa ajarjaron on the thefloor floorthat thatcontained containedwhite white painted paintedbranches. branches.On On the thebranches brancheswere weredecorations decorationsmade madetotolook looklike like hot hot air airballoons. balloons.Every Everyone onehad hada asingle singlebattery batterylight light sosofrom froma adistance distancethe thebranches brancheslooked lookedasasififthey they were weredotted dottedwith withstars. stars.Close Closeup upyou youcould couldsee seethe the individually individuallypainted paintedegg egg like likeshapes. shapes. He Heinclined inclinedhis hishead. head.He Hehad hada aslightly slightlyunkempt unkempt look lookthat thatseemed seemedgenuine genuineand andnot notdeliberate. deliberate.IfIfitit was wasdeliberate, deliberate,ititwas wasextremely extremelyeffective. effective.‘I‘Ihave havetoto say, say,I Iwas wasdrawn drawntotothem themwhen whenI Ifirst firstcame camein.’ in.’ ‘But ‘Butyou youstopped stoppedatatthe thecoffee coffeestall stallfirst?’ first?’ ‘I‘Isaw sawyou youstamping stampingup upand anddown downand andflapping flapping your yourarms. I arms. Iguessed guessedyou youwere werecold.’ cold.’He Hewas wasvery very twinkly, twinkly,and andimpossible impossiblenot nottotorespond respondto. to. Romy Romylaughed. laughed.‘Was ‘WasI Ithat thatobvious? obvious?I Iam amsorry. sorry. 88
I think I thinkthis thisstall stallisisinina abit bitofofa adraught draughtororsomething. something. Everyone Everyoneelse elseseems seemsfine.’ fine.’InInspite spiteofofhis his‘bad ‘bad boy’ boy’ good goodlooks, looks,hehehad hada avery verykind kindsmile. smile.She Sheexperi experi enced enceda apang pangofofjealousy jealousyfor forthe thegirl girlwho whohad hadparents parents ininConnecticut. Connecticut.‘So!’ ‘So!’she shesaid saidbriskly. briskly.‘What ‘Whatwould would you youlike?’ like?’ ‘I‘Ithink thinkI’d I’dlike likeallallofofthem,’ them,’hehesaid saidafter aftersome some thought. thought. ‘I‘Ican can – – happily happily – – give giveyou youone, one,but butnot notallallofof them.’ them.’ ‘And ‘AndI – I – happily – happily – will willpay payfor forallallofofthem. them.I’ll I’llhave have my myone onefree freeone onetoo, too,ofofcourse. course.And Andeverything everythingelse else you youhave haveleft. left.I Iwant wanttotomake makea abig bigimpression.’ impression.’ He Hegrinned. grinned.Romy Romycoughed coughedand andlooked lookeddown downatat her herdecorations. decorations.He Hewas wasfar fartoo tooattractive attractivefor forher her own owngood, good,she shedecided, decided,but butasasa acustomer customerhehewas was pretty prettymuch muchperfect. perfect. ‘Well, ‘Well,the thehot hot air airballoons balloonsare arefive fivepounds poundseach,’ each,’ she shesaid. said.This Thishad hadput putpeople peopleoff, off,although althoughthe thework work and andeffort effortthat thathad hadgone goneinto intothem themhad hadbeen beenenor enor mous. mous.‘The ‘Thebats batsare arefour fourpounds poundsfifty fiftyand andthe thejam jam jars jarswith withthe thetea tealights – lights – although althoughthey theyare areextremely extremely pretty – pretty – are areonly onlya apound.’ pound.’ ‘In ‘Inwhich whichcase, case,I Iwon’t won’thave havea afree freeballoon. balloon.AAhot hot chocolate chocolateisn’t isn’tworth wortha afiver.’ fiver.’ ‘Have ‘Haveone oneofofthese thesethen,’ then,’suggested suggestedRomy. Romy.She She held heldout outa amodel modelbat batmade madeout outofofwire wireand andblack black tights. tights.She’d She’dmade madeseveral severalbut butthey theyhadn’t hadn’tsold soldwell. well. Bats Batswere wererather ratherniche, niche,she shediscovered. discovered. 99
‘Oh, ‘Oh,a abat!’ bat!’hehesaid, said,sounding soundingexcited. excited.‘I‘Ilike likebats!’ bats!’ ‘You ‘Youdo? do?Then Thenhave havea acouple coupleofofthem. them.No Noone oneelse else seems seemstotolike likethem. them.I suppose I supposethey’re they’remore moreHallow Hallow een eenthan thanChristmas. Christmas.I Ithink thinkthey’re they’rerather rathersweet.’ sweet.’ ‘I‘Ilike likethem thembecause becausethey theygot gotme memy myhouse houseand and music musicstudio studiocheap.’ cheap.’ ‘Clever ‘Cleverbats! bats!How Howdid didthey theylearn learnthat thattrick? trick?It’s It’s one oneI’d I’dlike liketotolearn learnmyself.’ myself.’ He Helaughed. laughed.‘Sadly ‘Sadlythey theydidn’t didn’tdo doititbybybeing being clever, clever,only onlybybynesting nestingininthe theroof roofofofthe thebuildings, buildings, and andasasthey’re they’reprotected protectedthey theycan’t can’tbeberemoved. removed.And And not noteveryone everyonelikes likesbats.’ bats.’ ‘So ‘Sowhat whatsort sortofofa ahouse houseisisit?it?IfIfbats batswant wanttotolive live there? there?It’s It’snot notananold oldchurch churchororanything, anything,isisit?’ it?’She She had hada avision visionofofbats batsstreaming streamingfrom froma anarrow narrowarched arched window windowatatdusk, dusk,with withDracula Draculafollowing following – – from froma a larger largerwindow, window,obviously. obviously. ‘It’s ‘It’sananold oldmill millbut butititwas wasempty emptyfor foryears yearsand and years yearsand andthe thewoods woodshave havegrown grownup uparound aroundit.it.It’s It’s going goingtotobebeamazing amazingwhen whenit’s it’sfinished.’ finished.’ ‘Sounds ‘Soundswonderful! wonderful!I’ve I’vealways alwayswanted wantedtotolive liveinin the thewoods, woods,totowake wakeup upwith withthe thesound soundofofthe thebirds birds singing, singing,totosee seethe thedappled dappledsunlight sunlightfiltering filteringthrough through the thebranches.’ branches.’She Shestopped. stopped.‘Not ‘Notininwinter, winter,maybe!’ maybe!’ She Shelaughed laughedand andpulled pulledoff offher herhat. hat.‘It‘Itcomes comesofof having havingbeen beennicknamed nicknamedGoldilocks,’ Goldilocks,’she shesaid saidasasher her blonde blondecurls curlsrevealed revealedthemselves. themselves. ‘All ‘Allisisnow nowclear!’ clear!’hehesaid, said,joining joiningininher herlaughter. laughter. ‘You ‘Youwere weredestined destinedtotolive liveininthe thewoods!’ woods!’ 1010
‘I‘Ihave havethought thoughtofofdyeing dyeingmy myhair hairblack blacksosoI could I could pretend pretendtotobebea abat. bat.Then Thenfinding findingmyself myselfa ahome homeinin the thewoods woodsmight mightbebeeasier.’ easier.’ ‘Don’t ‘Don’tdo dothat!’ that!’He Hesounded soundedhorrifi horrifi ed. ed. ‘No, ‘No,it’s it’sallallright. right.AAfriend frienddid didititonce onceand anditittook took ages agesand andhundreds hundredsofofpounds poundsfor forher hertotorealise realisethat, that, actually, actually,blondes blondesdo dohave havemore morefun. fun.But Butnow, now,your your decorations? decorations?How Howmany manydid didyou yousay sayyou youwanted?’ wanted?’ ‘I‘Iwant wantthem themall.’ all.’ ‘Really? ‘Really?There Thereare areten tenballoons, balloons,which whichisisfifty fiftyquid quid straight straightoff. off.I’d I’dgive giveyou youa adiscount discountofofcourse.’ course.’ ‘No ‘Noneed needfor forthat. that.Just Justadd addup uphow howmuch muchititallall costs.’ costs.’ Romy Romydid didthe thecalculation. calculation.‘Let’s ‘Let’scall callititeighty eighty quid.’ quid.’ He Hehad haddone donethe thesum suma abit bitquicker quickerthan thanshe shehad. had. ‘I‘Imake makeititninety ninety five.’ five.’ ‘No, ‘No,with withthe thediscount discountfor forquantity, quantity,it’s it’seighty eighty quid.’ quid.’ ‘Ninety!’ ‘Ninety!’ She Sheshook shookher herhead. head.‘Eighty ‘Eightyisismy myfinal finaloffer.’ offer.’ ‘Ninety! ‘Ninety!I Iwant wantthe thebranches branchesasaswell.’ well.’ ‘The ‘Thebranches branchesare arefree. free.You Youcould couldfind findyour yourown own branches – branches – especially especiallyififyou youlive liveinina awood!’ wood!’ ‘I‘Isuppose, suppose,but butthen thenI’d I’dhave havetotofind findwhite whitepaint paint and anda abrush. brush.I’d I’drather ratherhave haveyours.’ yours.’ ‘Go ‘Goon onthen.’ then.’This Thisman manhad hadbought boughther herentire entire stock, stock,which whichmeant meantshe shecould couldknock knockoff offearly earlyand and pack. pack.Her Herflfl ight ightwas washorrendously horrendouslyearly earlyininthe the 1111
morning morningand andshe shehad hadtotocatch catcha acoach coachtotothe theairport airport even evenearlier. earlier. He Hefrowned. frowned.‘I’ve ‘I’vejust justthought. thought.I came I cameon onmy mybike. bike. How Howwould wouldI Iget getthe thebranches brancheshome?’ home?’ ‘Well, ‘Well,how howare areyou yougoing goingtotoget getthe thehot hot air airbal bal loons loonsand andallallthe theother otherdecorations decorationshome?’ home?’ ‘In ‘Inmy mytop topbox boxbut butI couldn’t I couldn’tmanage managethe thebranches.’ branches.’ ‘Then ‘Thenman manup upand andmake makenew newones! ones!You Youwouldn’t wouldn’t have havetotopaint paintthem themwhite. white.Stick Stickthem theminina abucket bucket ororsomething, something,like likeI’ve I’veused. used.Fill Fillititwith withsand, sand,oror earth earthororstones, stones,and andadd addthe thehot hotair airballoons. balloons.That’s That’s your yourChristmas Christmastree treedone. done.Just Justadd addpresents presentsand and chocolate.’ chocolate.’ He Hedidn’t didn’trespond respondbut butspent spentseveral severalseconds secondslook look ing ingatather herspeculatively. speculatively.‘Actually, ‘Actually,I wonder I wonderififI could I could ask askyou youa ahuge hugefavour?’ favour?’ ‘Ask ‘Askaway. away.I can I cansay sayno.’ no.’But Butrealised realisedshe sheprobably probably wouldn’t. wouldn’t. ‘I‘Ineed needtotoget getsome somegroceries groceries – – more morethan thanI Ican can fitfitininthe thetop topbox boxreally. really.I Iwas wasgoing goingtototry tryand andget get the theshopping shoppingdelivered deliveredororhope hopeI Ifound founda afriend friendtoto get getititback backfor forme.’ me.’He Hepaused. paused.‘But ‘Butwould wouldyou youtake take the thegroceries groceriesand andthe thedecorations?’ decorations?’ Romy Romydidn’t didn’tthink thinkfor forlong. long.Apart Apartfrom fromanything anything else – else – and andthere therewere werea alot lotofofthings – things – hehehad hadbought bought her herentire entirestock. stock.Delivering Deliveringititwasn’t wasn’ttoo toomuch muchofof ananask. ask. ‘OK, ‘OK,I’ll I’lldo doit.it.InInexchange exchangefor fora atour tourofofyour your house.’ house.’ 1212
He Hegave gavea ashout shoutofoflaughter. laughter.‘Done! ‘Done!But Butdon’t don’t expect expectanything anythingtoo toomuch. much.It’s It’sa awork workininprogress. progress. And Andnow, now,letletme mepay payyou . you .. .. ?’ . ?’ ‘Romy,’ ‘Romy,’she shesupplied. supplied. ‘Felix. ‘Felix.It’s It’sbeen beengreat greatdoing doingbusiness businesswith withyou,’ you,’ hehesaid, said,passing passingover oversome somecash. cash. She Sheaccepted acceptedthe thenotes notesheheput putinto intoher herhand handand and slipped slippedthem theminto intoher herbag. bag.Now Nowshe shewould wouldhave have some somespending spendingmoney moneyininFrance. France.‘You ‘Yougogoand anddo do your yourshopping.’ shopping.’
AsRomy Romyfollowed followedFelix Felixininher hercar carshe shefelt feltskittish skittish As andexcited. excited.Because BecauseofofFelix, Felix,she’d she’dhave haveextra extratime time and packfor forher hertrip triptotoFrance Francetomorrow. tomorrow.She Sheneeded needed totopack extratime. time.None Noneofofher herclothes clothesseemed seemedsuitable suitableand and extra herpresents presentswere werebulky. bulky.And AndasasGus’s Gus’sparents parentshad had her beenkind kindenough enoughtotoinvite inviteher herfor forChristmas, Christmas,she she been didn’twant wanttotoshock shockthem thembybywearing wearingclothes clothesthey they didn’t thoughttoo toooutlandish. outlandish.Her Hernatural naturalstyle stylewas wasa abit bit thought Goth like.ItItwas wasgoing goingtotobebehard hardfor forher hertotofitfitinin Goth like. withthe theturned turned upcollars, collars,Liberty Libertyprints printsand andcash cash with up merecardigans. cardigans. mere Butshe sheknew, knew,asasshe shefollowed followedthe themotorbike motorbikealong along But thelanes, lanes,that thatshe shewas wasusing usingher herexcitement excitementatatpack pack the ingasasananexcuse excusetotocover coverher herfaint faintguilt guiltatatvisiting visitinga a ing mantotosee seehis hishouse, house,even eveninindaylight. daylight.IfIfhe’d he’dbeen been man unattractivetoad toadititwould wouldhave havebeen beendifferent; different;she she ananunattractive 1313
wouldn’t wouldn’thave havefelt feltguilty guiltyatatall. all.But Buthehewas wasvery very attractive attractiveindeed. indeed.And Andnot notremotely remotelya atoad. toad. The Thebike biketurned turnedoff offthe theCotswold Cotswoldlane laneand andshe she followed followedititalong alonga atree tree lined linedpath. path.The Thetrees treesgrew grew thicker thickerand andbecame becameactual actualwoods. woods.The Thesky skyhad haddark dark ened eneda abit bitasaswell welland andshe sheknew knewshe shedidn’t didn’thave have long longbefore beforethe thedaylight daylightwould wouldbebegone. gone.She Sheparked parked where whereheheindicated, indicated,inina alarge largelay lay by. by. ‘Oh ‘Ohwow! wow!Real Realwoods!’ woods!’she shesaid saidwhen whenshe shehad had got gotout. out.‘It’s ‘It’sbeautiful!’ beautiful!’ItItwas wasalso alsoquite quitea alot lotcolder colder amongst amongstthe thetrees, trees,and andmuch muchcrisper. crisper.InInthe thetown townitit had hadbeen beenchilly chillybut butdamp. damp. ‘It‘Itisisquite quiteisolated isolatedbut butI Ilike likeit.’ it.’ There Therewas wasemphasis emphasison onthe the‘I’. ‘I’.Romy Romyfelt feltheheshould should have havesaid, said,‘We ‘Welike likeit.’ it.’His Hiswords wordsindicated indicatedhis hisNew New England Englandgirlfriend girlfriendfelt felta abit bitdifferently. differently.But ButRomy Romy was wasprobably probablyimagining imaginingthings. things. ‘Come ‘Comeon onininand andI’ll I’llgive giveyou youthe thetour.’ tour.’ ‘Let’s ‘Let’sget getyour yourstuff stuffunpacked unpackedfirst.’ first.’ When Whenshe’d she’dseen seenthe thedecorations decorationssafely safelyinto intothe the house, house,she shetook tookone oneofofthe thefood foodbags bagsinto intothe thekitchen kitchen end endofofthe thebig, big,open open plan planroom. room.There Thereweren’t weren’tany any proper properunits, units,just justa astainless stainless steel steelsink sinkand anda abig big cooker cookerflanked flankedbybya acouple coupleofofold oldcupboards, cupboards,but but she sheloved lovedthe theway wayititwas wasseparate separatebut butalso alsopart partofof the theroom. room.ItIthad hadsosomuch muchpotential potentialititwas washard hardnot not totosqueak squeakenthusiastically. enthusiastically.The Thebag bagclinked clinkedreveal reveal ingly inglyasasshe sheset setititdown downon ona amakeshift makeshiftworktop. worktop. ‘You ‘Youdon’t don’tseem seemtotohave havebought boughta alot lotofoffood, food, 1414
considering consideringit’s it’sChristmas Christmasand andpeople peopleusually usuallybuy buy three threetimes timesasasmuch muchasasthey’re they’relikely likelytotoeat,’ eat,’she shesaid said and andthen thenwondered wonderedififshe’d she’dsounded soundednosy nosyand andrude. rude. He Hedidn’t didn’tseem seemtotoobject. object.‘Well, ‘Well,I Iwas wasgoing goingtoto friends friendsfor forChristmas Christmasand andBoxing BoxingDay. Day.I Ireckon reckonit’s it’s best besttotobuy buyeverything everythingwhen whenit’s it’shalf halfprice priceafter after Christmas.’ Christmas.’ ‘Cheapskate! ‘Cheapskate!You’re You’rehappy happytotobum bummeals mealsoff offyour your friends friendssosoyou youcan canbuy buyeverything everythingcheaper cheaperafter after wards!’ wards!’She Shewas wasonly onlypretending pretendingtotobebeshocked. shocked. Really Reallyshe shethought thoughtititwas wasa agood goodidea. idea. ‘Hey! ‘Hey!I Iwas wasgoing goingtototake takeboth bothlots lotsbrandy, brandy,port, port, some someofofthat thatvile vilecream creamliqueur liqueurthat thatmy mygirlfriend girlfriend likes likesand andsome somevery verynice nicered redwine.’ wine.’ Romy Romyput putdown downthe thebox boxthat thatcontained containedfood. food.She She liked likedBailey’s Bailey’sherself herselfand andwondered wonderedififGus Guswould wouldhave have bought boughther hersome. some.She Shesuspected suspectedhis hisparents parentswould would have havereferred referredtotoititasasa a‘stickie’ ‘stickie’and anddisapproved. disapproved. ‘OK,’ ‘OK,’she shesaid, said,‘let’s ‘let’sget getyour yourChristmas Christmastree treeset setup.’ up.’ They Theyassembled assembledRomy’s Romy’spainted paintedbranches branchesininthe the corner cornerbybythe thehuge hugeglass glasswall wallthat thatlooked lookedout outon ontoto the thewoods. woods.ItIttook tooka alittle littlewhile whiletotoadd addallallthe thedecor decor ations ationsasashe’d he’dbought boughtquite quitea afew fewbut butthe theeffect effectwas was wonderful. wonderful. ‘This ‘Thisisislovely!’ lovely!’Romy Romysaid saidwhen whenthey’d they’dlitlitallallthe the little littlebattery batterytea tealights. lights.‘Handier ‘Handierififthey theywere werecon con nected nectedand andyou youcould couldjust justput putthem themon onwith witha aswitch switch but butI Idesigned designedthem themasasindividual individualdecorations. decorations.I I didn’t didn’texpect expectthem themtotobebesold soldasasa ajob joblot.’ lot.’ 1515
‘So ‘Sowhat whatisisitityou youdo, do,exactly? exactly?When Whenyou’re you’renot not flogging floggingtea tealights?’ lights?’ She Shelaughed. laughed.He Hewas wasteasing teasingher herand andshe sheliked likedthat. that. ‘I’m ‘I’mdoing doinga amaster’s master’sininArt Artininthe theEnvironment. Environment.I’ve I’ve deviated deviatedslightly. slightly.I set I setout outdoing doingsomething somethingsensible sensible but butgot gotwaylaid.’ waylaid.’She Shelaughed laughedagain. again.‘My ‘Myboyfriend boyfriend thinks thinksI’m I’mmad madtotohave havegiven givenup upon onsomething somethingthat that would wouldhave havegiven givenme mea aqualifi qualifi cation – cation – tototeach teachmaybe – maybe – but butwhen whenI Irealised realisedI Icould coulddo doananMA MAinina asubject subject I Iloved, loved,I Ihad hadtotogive giveitita ago.’ go.’ItItwas waswhy whyshe shewas was always alwayslooking lookingfor forways waystotomake makea abit bitofofextra extramoney. money. ‘I‘Ithink thinkthat thatsounds soundsvery verycool,’ cool,’said saidFelix, Felix,looking looking atather herintently. intently. Embarrassed, Embarrassed,she shesaid, said,‘It‘Itdoes doesmean meanI’m I’malways always broke, broke,ofofcourse. course.But ButI Idon’t don’treally reallymind.’ mind.’ He Heseemed seemedtotopull pullhimself himselftogether. together.‘Now ‘Nowletletme me show showyou youmy myhouse housebefore beforethe thelight lightgoes.’ goes.’
The ororititwould Thehouse housewas wasenormous enormousand andluxurious – luxurious – would bebewhen whenititwas wasfinished. finished.The Thekitchen kitchenwas waspositioned positioned sosoititgot gotallallthe theviews. views.Skylights Skylightsabove aboveititmeant meantitit also alsocaptured capturedevery everyscrap scrapofofnatural naturallight. light.The Thesitting sitting room roomhad hada ahuge hugewood woodburner, burner,several severaltatty tattyold oldsofas sofas and andnot notmuch muchother otherfurniture furnitureififyou youoverlooked overlookedthe the piles pilesand andpiles pilesofofvinyl vinylrecords. records.The Thewalls wallswere werestone stone and anddesperately desperatelyneeded neededsome somelarge largeartworks artworks(Romy’s (Romy’s opinion, opinion,and andshe shekept keptitittotoherself). herself). 1616
Upstairs Upstairsthere therewere werethree threebedrooms bedroomswith withgor gor geous geousbathrooms bathroomsattached, attached,with withbaths bathslooking lookingout out into intothe thetrees: trees:wet wetrooms roomswith withplenty plentyofofroom roomfor for two; two;and anda amaster masterbedroom bedroomsosobeautiful beautifulititmade made Romy Romycatch catchher herbreath breathwith withadmiration admirationand andenvy. envy. ‘It’s ‘It’samazing,’ amazing,’she shesaid. said.‘Absolutely ‘Absolutelyamazing.’ amazing.’ ‘It‘Itwill willbe,’ be,’said saidFelix. Felix.‘Sadly ‘Sadlyonly onlythe thedownstairs downstairs shower showerisisplumbed plumbedin, in,the thesitting sittingroom roomisisstill stilla a bit bitofofa amess messand andthe thekitchen kitchenhasn’t hasn’teven evenbeen been started.’ started.’He Hesounded soundedasasififhehewere werequoting quotingsomeone. someone. ‘Oh, ‘Oh,and andthe thebedroom bedroomsmells smellsofofbats.’ bats.’ ‘Does ‘Doesit?it?I Ididn’t didn’tnotice. notice.Mind Mindyou, you,I Idon’t don’tknow know what whatbats batssmell smellof. of.And Anda agorgeous gorgeousscented scentedcandle candle would wouldfix fixthat, that,wouldn’t wouldn’tit?’ it?’ He Heshrugged. shrugged. ‘Seriously, ‘Seriously,something somethingfrom fromJoJoMalone Malonecould couldmake make the thebedroom bedroomsmell smellheavenly. heavenly.Your Yourgirlfriend girlfriendwill will love loveititthen.’ then.’ He Hedidn’t didn’tanswer answerfor fora amoment momentand andthen thensaid, said,‘I‘I hope hopeso. so.Do Doyou youwant wanttotosee seethe thestudio?’ studio?’ Now Nowshe shefelt feltbad badfor forsuggesting suggestingthe thecandle. candle.ItItwas was none noneofofher herbusiness. business.She Shewas wasglad gladthat thathehehad had changed changedthe thesubject. subject.‘Oh, ‘Oh,yes yesplease.’ please.’ ‘Though ‘Thoughit’s it’sfor formusicians, musicians,not notartists,’ artists,’heheadded. added. ‘I’m ‘I’mnot notfussy.’ fussy.’ Crossing Crossingthe thecobbled cobbledyard yardfrom fromthe thehouse houseRomy Romy became becameaware awareitithad hadgot gota alot lotcolder, colder,even evensince sincethey’d they’d been beenininthe thehouse. house.She Sheslipped slippeda alittle littleon ona astone stoneand and she shehoped hopedititwas waswater, water,not notice. ice.She Shedetermined determinednot not 1717
totolinger lingertoo toolong longininthe thestudio. studio.She Sheshould shouldget gethome home and andpack. pack.The Thedays dayswere wereshort shortand andshe shedidn’t didn’twant want totobebedriving drivingthrough throughthe thedark darkwoods woodsininthe thedusk. dusk. And Andfor forsome somereason reasonbeing beingatatFelix’s Felix’shouse houseininthe the evening eveningrather ratherthan thanjust justafter afterlunch lunchwould wouldseem seemeven even more morewrong wrongthan thanititfelt feltalready. already.And Andititfelt feltwrong, wrong, she sheknew, knew,because becauseshe shefancied fanciedhim. him. The Thestudio studiowas wasfar farmore morecomplete completethan thanthe thehouse. house. ItIthad hadbeautiful beautifulwood woodfloors, floors,strange strangesquare squareboxes boxes attached attachedtotothe thewalls wallswhich whichshe sheassumed assumedwere werefor for soundproofi soundproofi ng, ng,a ahuge hugecurved curveddesk deskwith withhundreds hundreds ofofswitches switcheson onititand anda agrand grandpiano. piano.There Therewere were some somephotographs photographsofofbands bandson onthe thewall, wall,one oneofofwhich which Romy Romyrecognised. recognised.Romy Romycouldn’t couldn’teven evenguess guesshow how much muchititwould wouldhave havecost costbut butititdidn’t didn’tlook lookcheap. cheap. She Shefelt felta aflash flashofofsympathy sympathyfor forhis hisgirlfriend. girlfriend.His His priorities prioritieswere werefor forthe thestudio, studio,but butififthat thatwas washow how hehemade madehis hismoney moneyititwas wasfair fairenough. enough. ‘I‘Iexpect expectyou’re you’rethinking thinkingthat thatI Ispent spenttoo toomuch much on onthe thestudio studioand andnot notenough enoughon onthe thehouse,’ house,’said said Felix, Felix,a atouch touchdefensively. defensively.‘But ‘Butititisishow howI Iearn earnmy my living: living:producing producingmusic.’ music.’ ‘That’s ‘That’sjust justwhat whatI was I wasthinking,’ thinking,’said saidRomy. Romy.‘After ‘After all, all,you’ve you’vegot gottotoearn earnmoney, money,you youcan’t can’tjust justspend spend ititallallon ona afancy fancyhouse.’ house.’ He Hegrinned grinnedsuddenly, suddenly,his histeeth teethflashing. flashing.‘Although ‘Although part partofofthe thereason reasona alot lotofofthe thehouse houseisisunfi unfi nished nished isisbecause becausea amate matewas wasdoing doingthe theplumbing plumbingand andhehe went wentand andhad hada ababy babyand andheheran ranout outofofspare sparetime.’ time.’ 1818
‘Unusual,’ ‘Unusual,’said saidRomy Romysolemnly. solemnly. ‘I‘Imeant – meant – you youknew knewI Imeant – meant – that thathis hiswife wifehad had a ababy. baby.But Butyou youare areright. right.I Ishould shouldstop stopbeing beinga a cheapskate cheapskateand andpay paysomeone someonetotodo doit.’ it.’ ‘I‘Iabsolved absolvedyou youofofbeing beinga acheapskate cheapskatewhen whenyou you told toldme mehow howmuch muchalcohol alcoholyou youwere weregiving givingtotoyour your friends.’ friends.’ ‘That’s ‘That’sallallright rightthen.’ then.’ ‘Look—’ ‘Look—’ They Theyboth bothspoke spokeatatonce, once,but butFelix Felixmotioned motionedfor for Romy Romytotocontinue. continue. ‘I‘I really really should should bebe heading heading off,’ off,’ she she said said regretfully. regretfully. Felix Felixsaid, said,‘Why ‘Whydon’t don’tI Imake makeyou yousome sometea teaoror something? something?And Anda asandwich?’ sandwich?’She Shewasn’t wasn’tsure, sure,but but Romy Romyhad hada afeeling feelinghehedidn’t didn’twant wanttheir theirtime time together togethertotoend endeither. either.And Andshe shewas washungry. hungry.ItIthad had been beena ahorrendously horrendouslyearly earlystart startand andher herbanana bananaand and muesli mueslibar barfelt feltlike likea along longtime timeago. ago. ‘I’ve ‘I’vegot gotbacon,’ bacon,’heheadded addedtemptingly. temptingly. Romy Romysuccumbed. succumbed.‘That ‘Thatwould wouldbebegreat. great.Then ThenI I really reallymust mustgo.’ go.’
Felix’ssuggestion, suggestion,Romy Romylitlitthe thewood woodburner burner AtAtFelix’s whileFelix Felixmade madebacon baconbutties. butties.He Hehad hadproper properrolls rolls while andtoasted toastedthem themlightly lightlybefore beforeadding addingthe thebacon. bacon. and Healso alsohad hada afull fullrange rangeofofsauces saucesand andwhile whileRomy Romy He 1919
liked likedhers hersplain, plain,ititwas wasnice nicetotobebeoffered offeredthings. things.She She also alsoaccepted accepteda amug mugofoftea. tea. They Theyate ateand anddrank dranktheir theirtea teaininfront frontofofthe thefire fire and andthe theconversation conversationflowed flowedeasily. easily.They Theyhad hadsosomuch much inincommon: common:a alove loveofofthe theoutdoors, outdoors,bats, bats,music, music,the the same samesense senseofofhumour humourand andoutlook outlookon onlife lifeiningeneral. general. Romy Romyfelt feltsosoatatease; ease;she shecould couldhardly hardlybelieve believethey’d they’d only onlymet meta afew fewhours hoursbefore. before. ‘So, ‘So,tell tellme mewhy whyyou’ve you’vegot gota apicture pictureofofFlying Flying Angels Angelson onyour yourwall wallininthe thestudio?’ studio?’she sheasked. asked. ‘The ‘TheAngels? Angels?Old Oldfriends. friends.They Theycome comehere heretoto rehearse rehearsesometimes sometimesand anddo doa alittle littlemixing. mixing.Do Doyou you know knowthem?’ them?’ ‘Well, ‘Well,they theyare arequite quitelocal. local.I heard I heardthem theminina apub.’ pub.’ She’d She’dtaken takenGus Gusalong alongand andalthough althoughhehepretended pretended totolike likethem themshe shehadn’t hadn’tbeen beenconvinced. convinced. ‘That’s ‘That’scool! cool!They’ve They’vegot gota agig gigcoming comingup. up.We We should shouldgogoand andsee seeitittogether.’ together.’ ‘Actually, ‘Actually,we weshouldn’t,’ shouldn’t,’she shesaid, said,putting puttingher hermug mug on onthe thefloor floorbybythe thefireplace fireplaceand andgetting gettingtotoher herfeet. feet. ‘And ‘AndI Ishould shouldgogohome homenow.’ now.’ She Shedidn’t didn’ttrust trustherself herself – – and andpossibly possiblynot nothim him either either – – totokeep keepthings thingsfriendly. friendly.She Sheneeded neededtotoget get herself herselfout outofofthere therebefore beforesomething somethinghappened happenedthat that they theywould wouldboth bothregret. regret. ‘Are ‘Areyou yousure? sure?Are Areyou yousure sureyou youhave havetotogo?’ go?’He He got gotup uptoo tooand andseemed seemeddistressed distressedatatthe thethought thoughtofof her herleaving. leaving. ‘I‘Iam. am.I’ve I’vegot gota aridiculously ridiculouslyearly earlyflight flightininthe the 2020
morning. morning.And Andthe thecoach coachbefore beforethat. that.But Butitithas hasbeen – been – lovely. lovely.I Ilove loveyour yourhouse houseininthe thewoods woodsand andI Ireally really didn’t didn’tthink thinkthe thebedroom bedroomsmelt smeltofofbat batpoo.’ poo.’She Shehad had added addedthis thistotolighten lightenthe thetone tonebut butititseemed seemeda abit bit too toointimate intimatenow. now. He Hewalked walkedher hertotothe thedoor doorand andononup upthe thehill hilltoto where whereher hercar carwas wasparked. parked.He Hestill stilldidn’t didn’tseem seemtotowant want her hertotogo. go.And Andshe shewalked walkedasasquickly quicklyasasshe shecould couldtoto make makesure sureshe shedid didleave leaveand anddidn’t didn’tgive giveup upononGus, Gus, her herflight flighttotoFrance Franceand andeverything everythingsensible sensibleininher herlife. life. ‘Well, ‘Well,goodbye,’ goodbye,’she shesaid, said,doing doingup upher herhat. hat. ‘Goodbye,’ ‘Goodbye,’hehesaid. said.He Helooked lookedasasififhehemight mightkiss kiss her hercheek cheekbut butshe shestepped steppedback backsosohehecouldn’t. couldn’t. She Shegot gotininthe thecar carand andpulled pulledout outofofthe thelay lay by. by.
Shefound foundtears tearspricking prickingher hereyes eyesasasshe shedrove droveslowly slowly She away.That Thatwas waspossibly possiblywhy whyshe shedidn’t didn’tsee seethe thebend bend away. coming,just justasasshe shehit hita apatch patchofofblack blackice, ice,and andwhen when coming, theroad roadcurved curvedher hercar carwent wentstraight, straight,over overthe theslight slight the camberand andinto intoa atree. tree.Because Becauseshe shewas wasgoing goingsososlowly slowly camber shewasn’t wasn’thurt, hurt,but butwatching watchingthe thefront frontofofher hercar carcrum crum she ple,asasififininslow slowmotion, motion,was wasacutely acutelypainful. painful. ple, Hercar carwas wasabove abovethe theground groundon onthe thedriver’s driver’s Her side,but butshe shecould couldstill stillget getout outand andlower lowerherself herself side, down.Then Thenshe sheclambered clamberedup upthe thebank bankand andback back down. ontotothe thetrack. track. on Felixwas wasthere, there,panting. panting.‘I‘Iwas waswatching watchingfrom from Felix 2121
the theupstairs upstairswindow, window,I Isaw sawwhat whatwas washappening. happening. Are Areyou youOK?’ OK?’He Hetook tookher herinto intohis hisarms armswithout without waiting waitingfor forher hertotoreply. reply. ItItwas waslovely lovelybut butititdidn’t didn’thelp. help.She Shefelt feltmore morelike like crying cryingthan thanever. ever.‘I’m ‘I’mfine,’ fine,’she shesaid saidhuskily. huskily. Then Thenher herphone phonepinged; pinged;she shecould couldhear hearititininher hercar. car. ‘I’ll ‘I’llget getit,’ it,’said saidFelix Felixand andran ranoff. off. She Shewas wascalm calmbybythe thetime timehehegot gotback. back.Her Herfather father had hadbought boughther hermembership membershipofofa arescue rescueservice. service. They Theywould wouldpull pullher herout outand andthe thecar carwas wasprobably probably drivable. drivable.ItItwould wouldbebefine. fine. ‘Here’s ‘Here’syour yourbag,’ bag,’said saidFelix. Felix.‘I‘Ididn’t didn’twant wanttotogogo ininyour yourbag bagand andget getyour yourphone.’ phone.’ There Therewere weretwo twotext textmessages. messages.The Thefirst firstwas wasfrom from the theairline airlinetotosay sayher herflight flighthad hadbeen beencancelled cancelleddue due totoice iceon onthe therunways. runways.The Thesecond secondone onewas wasfrom from Gus, Gus,who’d who’dobviously obviouslyalso alsofound foundout outabout aboutthe the cancellation. cancellation. ‘So ‘Sosoz sozabout aboutyour yourflight! flight!Nightmare! Nightmare!You’ll You’llhave havetoto try tryand andrebook rebookand andcome comeover overthe theday dayafter afterBoxing Boxing Day. Day.But Butwe’re we’reallallleaving leavingthe theday dayafter afterthat thatsosomaybe maybe it’s it’stoo toofar fartotocome comejust justfor fora aday? day?You’ll You’llfind findsome somelocal local friends friendstotohave haveCrimbo Crimbowith? with?Catch Catchup upafterwards, afterwards, OK? OK?And Andvery verymerry merryChristmas Christmastotoyou, you,lovely lovelygirl.’ girl.’ ‘What ‘Whatisisit?’ it?’Felix Felixasked. asked.‘What’s ‘What’sthe thematter?’ matter?’ ‘My ‘Myflight flightisiscancelled cancelleddue duetotoblack blackice. ice.And AndGus, Gus, who whoobviously obviouslyhas hasthe theapp appon onhis hisphone phoneand andsoso knew knewthat, that,suggests suggestsI Ihave haveChristmas Christmaswith withlocal local friends.’ friends.’She Shepaused. paused.‘I‘Iprobably probablycan’t can’teven evendrive drivetoto 2222
any anyofofthem themnow. now.I Iwonder wonderififI Icould couldget geta ataxi?’ taxi?’IfIf she shecould, could,ititwould wouldcost costa afortune. fortune. ‘Spending ‘Spendingititwith withlocal localfriends friendsisisa abrilliant brilliantidea!’ idea!’ said saidFelix. Felix.‘Spend ‘Spendititwith withme! me!We’re We’refriends, friends,I Ihope, hope, and andyou youcouldn’t couldn’tget getmore morelocal.’ local.’ While Whileshe shecouldn’t couldn’thelp helpsmiling, smiling,Romy Romysaid, said,‘I‘I can’t. can’t.And Andyou’re you’resupposed supposedtotobebegoing goingtotofriends friends yourself.’ yourself.’ ‘I‘Icould couldcancel cancelthem – them – they theyonly onlyasked askedme mebecause because they theythought thoughtI was I wasgoing goingtotobebeon onmy myown. own.Why Whynot not spend spendChristmas Christmaswith withme? me?Your Yourflight flightisiscancelled. cancelled. What Whatelse elseare areyou yougoing goingtotodo? do?Your Yourcar’s car’snot notdriv driv able ableand anda ataxi taxiwould wouldcost costananarm armand anda aleg.’ leg.’ ‘But ‘Butyou youhave havea agirlfriend. girlfriend.I Ishould shouldatatleast leasttry trytoto get gethome.’ home.’She Sheremembered rememberedthen thenabout aboutthe thebroken broken boiler, boiler,no noheat, heat,no nohot hotwater waterand andno nolandlord landlordtotofix fix it.it.(He’d (He’dgone goneaway awayfor forChristmas.) Christmas.) ‘Yes, ‘Yes,but butshe’s she’snot notdue duehere hereuntil untiljust justbefore beforeNew New Year Yearand andnothing nothingbad badwill willhappen. happen.You Youhave havemy my absolute absoluteword wordon onthat – that – scout’s scout’shonour. honour.We’ll We’llhave have Christmas Christmastogether togetherasasfriends.’ friends.’ Suppressing Suppressinga agiggle giggleatatthe theidea ideaofofthis thismusic music producing producingbiker bikerboy boybeing beinga aboy boyscout, scout,she shelooked looked for foranother anotherreason reasontotoleave. leave.‘But ‘Butwhat whatabout aboutmy mycar? car? I Ican’t can’tjust justleave leaveititnose nosetotonose nosewith witha atree.’ tree.’ He Hesmiled. smiled.‘I‘Idon’t don’thave havea asticker stickeron onmy mymotorbike motorbike but butmy myother othercar carisisa aLand LandRover Rover – – you youneed needone one living livinghere. here.When Whenthe theblack blackice icehas hasgone, gone,I’ll I’llpull pull you youout, out,no noproblem.’ problem.’ 2323
‘It’s ‘It’sChristmas ChristmasEve Evetomorrow. tomorrow.Maybe, Maybe,ififthe thewea wea ther therimproves, improves,I Icould couldgogohome homethen.’ then.’ ‘Didn’t ‘Didn’tyou yousay sayyour yourboiler boilerwas wasbroken? broken?You Youwant want totogogoback backtotoa acold coldhouse?’ house?’ ‘The ‘Theboiler boilerheats heatsthe thehot hotwater, water,too,’ too,’she sheadmitted. admitted. ‘Then ‘Thenstay! stay!I Ipromise promisenothing nothingwill willhappen happenthat that would wouldworry worryeither eitherofofour ourpartners. partners.I Ireally reallyrespect respect your yourfeelings feelingsabout aboutthis thisand andthey’re they’remy myfeelings feelingstoo. too. Cheating Cheatingisiswrong.’ wrong.’ She Shefelt felta asmile smileofofhappiness happinessspread spreadover overher herface. face. She Shehad hadno noalternative. alternative.She Shepushed pushedaside asidethe theguilt guilt and andallowed allowedthe thebubble bubbleofofhappiness happinesstotorise. rise.She She didn’t didn’thave havetotospend spendChristmas Christmaswith withher herboyfriend’s boyfriend’s hearty heartyfamily familybut butinstead insteadwith witha alovely lovelyman manwho who was wasfun funand andinterested interestedininthe thesame samethings thingsasasshe she was. was.She Shecouldn’t couldn’tbelieve believeher herluck, luck,really. really. ‘I‘Ido dohave havetotosay,’ say,’she shesaid saidasasthey theywalked, walked,arm arm ininarm arm(in (incase caseshe shewas waswobbly wobblyafter afterher herprang), prang),‘I‘I was wasrather ratherdreading dreadingstaying stayingwith withGus’s Gus’sfamily. family. They’re They’reterribly terriblykind kindand andallallbut butI Idon’t don’tthink thinkI’d I’d have havefitted fittedin. in.They’re They’revery veryinto intoquizzes.’ quizzes.’ ‘I‘Ilike likea aquiz quizmyself,’ myself,’said saidFelix. Felix.‘Aren’t ‘Aren’tyou youkeen?’ keen?’ ‘No! ‘No!I Ilike likethem themtoo. too.But ButI’m I’mhopeless hopelessatatthings thingsI I feel feelI should I shouldknow knowabout. about.I’m I’mgreat greatatatart artand andartists, artists, indie indiebands, bands,stuff stufflike likethat. that.But Butmountain mountainranges? ranges?No!’ No!’ ‘But ‘Butififthere therewas wasone oneininthe thepaper, paper,you’d you’dgive giveitita ago?’ go?’ ‘Only ‘Onlyififcompetition competitionrules rulesdon’t don’tapply.’ apply.’ ‘You ‘Youmean meanyou yougoogle googlethe theanswers?’ answers?’He Heseemed seemed a abit bitshocked. shocked. 2424
‘No ‘No – – atatleast, least,not notuntil untilthe theend endwhen whenyou’re you’re really reallydesperate. desperate.I Imeant meantno noone onesaying, saying,“Didn’t “Didn’t they theyteach teachyou yougeography geographyatatthat thatarty artyschool schoolofof yours?” yours?”’ ’ ‘They ‘Theydidn’t didn’tsay saythat!’ that!’Felix Felixwas wasappalled. appalled. ‘To ‘Tobebefair, fair,they theydidn’t. didn’t.But ButI Iwas wasworried worriedthat thatitit was wasthe thesort sortofofthing thingthey theywould wouldhave havesaid.’ said.’ He Hepulled pulledher hercloser closertowards towardshim himinina alittle littlehug. hug. ‘Idiot. ‘Idiot.ItItwon’t won’tbebelike likethat thatififit’s it’sjust justus. us.Oh . Oh .. .’. .’He He paused, paused,allowing allowingRomy Romya acouple coupleofofseconds secondstotoenjoy enjoy the the‘just ‘justus’ us’part partofofhis hissentence. sentence. ‘What?’ ‘What?’ ‘I‘Icalled calledyou youananidiot. idiot.Not Notvery veryfriendly.’ friendly.’ ‘But ‘Butyou yousaid saidititinina afriendly friendlyway. way.It’s It’sfine.’ fine.’ She Shefelt felta alittle littlepang pangofofloss lossasasthey theygot gottotothe the house houseand andheheletlether hergo. go. ‘There’s ‘There’sjust justone onething,’ thing,’hehesaid saidasasthey theywent wentin. in. ‘I‘Ihave haveananalbum albumtotofinish finishworking workingon ontomorrow. tomorrow.I I really reallycan’t can’ttake takethe theday dayoff. off.Will Willyou youbebeOK OKlooking looking after afteryourself?’ yourself?’ ‘I’ll ‘I’llbebefine,’ fine,’she shesaid. said.Then Thenshe shehad hadananidea. idea.‘I‘I know!’ know!’she shesaid saidenthusiastically. enthusiastically.‘Why ‘Whydon’t don’tyou you give giveme mea ajob jobtotodo doon onthe thehouse? house?I’m I’mgood goodatatthose those practical practicalthings – things – far farbetter betterthan thanI Iam amatatquizzes.’ quizzes.’ ‘You ‘Youdon’t don’thave haveto to – – you youcould couldjust justveg vegout outinin front frontofofthe thetelly.’ telly.’ ‘No! ‘No!I’d I’drather ratherdo dosomething. something.No Nopoint pointininmaking making Christmas Christmasdecs decsnow, now,and andmy myplumbing plumbingskills skillsare are non non existent, existent,but butififyou’ve you’vegot gotsomething somethingthat’s that’s 2525
maybe maybea abit bitdelicate delicatefor foryour youraverage averagebuilder? builder?I could I could perhaps perhapsdo dothat?’ that?’ ‘Actually,’ ‘Actually,’hehesaid saidslowly, slowly,asasififpennies pennieswere weredrop drop ping pingininhis hismind, mind,‘I‘Ihave havesome somelovely lovelyArt ArtNouveau Nouveau tiles tilesthat thatwere weretaken takenout outofofa abomb bomb damaged damagedhouse house ininLondon. London.They’ve They’vegot gotcement cementononthe theback backand andthey’re they’re allallfairly fairlydamaged damagedbut butI Ithink thinkthey’d they’dlook looklovely lovelyinin the themaster masterbathroom. bathroom.I know I knowit’s it’sallallvery verymodern modernand and high highend endatatthe themoment momentbut buta alittle littletouch touchofofArts Artsand and Crafts Craftswould wouldjust justmake makeitita abit bitdifferent.’ different.’ ‘I’d ‘I’dlove lovetotodo dothat! that!Working Workingwith withreclaimed reclaimedthings things isiswhat whatI Ilike likedoing doingbest. best. And AndififI’m I’mdoing doinga ajob jobI I won’t won’tfeel feelso – so – guilty.’ guilty.’ ‘I’ll ‘I’llnever nevergive giveyou youany anycause causetotofeel feelguilty guilty – – oror me metotofeel feelguilty. guilty.I Ipromise.’ promise.’ ‘But ‘ButI’ll I’llfeel feelbetter betterififI’m I’mcontributing contributingininsome someway. way. My Mybeing beinghere herewill willbebejustifi justifi ed.’ ed.’ ‘I‘Ithink thinkwe weshould shouldopen openone oneofofthe thebottles,’ bottles,’said said Felix. Felix.‘To ‘Tocelebrate. celebrate.Then Thenwe weshould shouldeat eatsomething.’ something.’ ‘I‘Iknow knowwhat whatI want!’ I want!’said saidRomy. Romy.‘The ‘Thesickly sicklycream cream liqueur liqueurthat thatyour yourgirlfriend girlfriendlikes likesand andyou youobviously obviously hate.’ hate.’ ‘No ‘Noargument argumentfrom fromme. me.We Wewon’t won’tbebefighting fightingover over that thatone. one.With Withororwithout withoutice?’ ice?’ ‘Too ‘Toocold coldfor forice. ice.On Onitsitsown, own,please.’ please.’ ‘I’ll ‘I’llhave havea awhisky whiskymac. mac.It’s It’smy mydesignated designatedChrist Christ mas masdrink.’ drink.’
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They Theybrought broughttheir theirdrinks drinkstotothe thefireside, fireside,taking takinga a sofa sofaeach. each.Romy Romyhad hadremoved removedher herboots bootsatatthe thedoor door and andwas washappy happytotobebeable abletotosnuggle snuggleup. up. ‘I’ll ‘I’llget getyou youanother anotherpair pairofofsocks, socks,inincase caseyou’re you’re cold,’ cold,’said saidFelix, Felix,and andleapt leaptup upfrom fromhis hisown ownsofa. sofa. Romy Romyloved lovedthe theway wayhehemoved movedquickly, quickly,gracefully. gracefully. Gus Guswas wasa abit bitponderous ponderousfor forsomeone someoneofofhis hisage, age, she sherefl refl ected. ected. Felix Felixcame cameback backnot notjust justwith withsocks, socks,but butwith witha a lovely lovelymohair mohairblanket. blanket.‘I‘Ibought boughtthis thislocally,’ locally,’hehesaid. said. ‘It‘Itfelt feltwrong wrongtotoleave leaveititininthe theshop. shop.ItItwas wassosobeau beau tiful. tiful.Sadly,’ Sadly,’heheadded, added,‘apparently ‘apparentlyit’s it’snot notthe theright right colour.’ colour.’He Hepaused. paused.‘Wrong ‘Wronggreen.’ green.’ ‘As ‘Asananartist, artist,I Ithink thinkit’s it’sa aperfect perfectgreen. green.I Inever never get getwhy whypeople peopleseem seemtotowant wanteverything everythingtotobebethe the same samecolour. colour.Brides Brideswho whoinsist insistthat thattheir theirbridesmaids bridesmaids have havetheir theirshoes shoesdyed dyedtotothe theexact exactshade shadeofofturquoise turquoise when whenthey theycould couldjust justwear wearbright brightpink pinkshoes. shoes.ItIt would wouldlook lookbetter.’ better.’ Felix Felixlooked lookedatather, her,surprised. surprised.‘So ‘Soyou youdon’t don’tthink think everything everythingneeds needstotomatch?’ match?’ ‘Defi ‘Defi nitely nitelynot,’ not,’she shesaid, said,‘but ‘butI Ido dohave havetototell tell you youthat, that,according accordingtotothe thepictures pictureson onFacebook, Facebook, Gus’s Gus’sparents parentsare arequite quiteinto intomatching.’ matching.’She Sheflushed flushed guiltily, guiltily,feeling feelingsuddenly suddenlydisloyal disloyaltotopeople peoplewho who had, had,after afterall, all,been beenkind kindenough enoughtotoinvite inviteher herfor for Christmas. Christmas.‘I‘Iought oughttotocheck checkmy myFacebook. Facebook.See Seehow how they’re they’regetting gettingon onover overthere thereininlalabelle belleFrance.’ France.’She She paused. paused.‘Can ‘CanI Iuse useyour yourcomputer?’ computer?’ 2727
When Whenhehedidn’t didn’timmediately immediatelyreply replyshe shewondered wondered ififshe’d she’dasked askedthe thewrong wrongthing. thing.Some Somepeople peopledidn’t didn’t like likeother otherpeople peopleusing usingtheir theirequipment. equipment.But Butshe she hadn’t hadn’tgot gotthe theimpression impressionhehewas waslike likethat. that. ‘You ‘Youcan canuse usemy mycomputer, computer,sure, sure,but butunless unlessyou’re you’re going goingtotowrite writea anovel novelororplay playSolitaire Solitaireititwon’t won’tbebe a alot lotofofuse usetotoyou.’ you.’ ‘Sorry?’ ‘Sorry?’ ‘No ‘Nointernet. internet.I Ican canget getWi Wi FiFion onmy myphone phoneififI Igogo right righttotothe thetop topofofthe thehill, hill,climb climba atree treeand andthe thewind wind isisininthe theright rightdirection directionbut butnot notdown downhere.’ here.’ Romy Romylaughed. laughed.‘Really? ‘Really?I Ilove lovethat!’ that!’ ‘It’s ‘It’sfunny, funny,but buthellishly hellishlyinconvenient. inconvenient.I Iusually usually just justgogototothe thepub puband andget getit.it.I Iam amsorting sortingit,’ it,’hehe went wenton, on,still stillawkward, awkward,‘but ‘butititinvolves involvescabling. cabling.IsIs that thata aproblem?’ problem?’ She Shethought thoughtabout aboutit.it.Normally Normallybeing beingwithout without access accesstotosocial socialmedia mediawould wouldhave havebeen beenshocking, shocking, but butjust justnow nowititseemed seemedperfectly perfectlyOK. OK. ‘Not ‘Notreally.’ really.’ ‘You ‘Youcan cantext textallallright, right,sosowe’re we’renot notcompletely completely cut cutoff offfrom fromthe theworld. world.But Butobviously, obviously,online onlineshop shop ping pingisisout outofofthe thequestion. question.Hence Hencemy mytrip triptototown town earlier.’ earlier.’ ‘You ‘Youmean meanI Iwon’t won’tbebeable abletotoshop shopthe thesales saleson on Christmas Christmasmorning?’ morning?’ He’d He’dgot gother hermeasure measurenow nowand andwas waslaughing. laughing. ‘No, ‘No,you youwon’t. won’t.You’ll You’lljust justhave havetotoopen openyour yourstock stock ing inglike likeevery everyother othercivilised civilisedperson.’ person.’ 2828
‘Except ‘ExceptI haven’t I haven’tgot gota astocking. stocking.Father FatherChristmas Christmas thinks thinksI’m I’mininFrance.’ France.’ ‘You ‘Youmay mayhave havetotohave haveititlate latethis thisyear.’ year.’ She Shenodded. nodded.‘What ‘Whatabout aboutyou?’ you?’ He Hefrowned. frowned.‘Me ‘Metoo. too.I Isent senta astocking stockingover overtoto Connecticut Connecticutininmy mygirlfriend’s girlfriend’sluggage luggage – – last lastyear year we weboth bothspent spenta alot lotofoftime timedoing doingthem.’ them.’ ‘Maybe ‘Maybeshe’ll she’llbring bringititback backwith withher, her,when whenshe’s she’s home.’ home.’ He Hefrowned frownedagain. again.‘Actually, ‘Actually,I think I thinkshe sheisishome.’ home.’ After Aftera afew fewmoments momentsshe shesaid, said,‘You ‘Youmean, mean,back back with withher herparents?’ parents?’ He Heshook shookhis hishead. head.‘Not ‘Nother herparents parentssosomuch, much,asas Connecticut – Connecticut – America.’ America.’ ‘I‘Ithink thinkI’d I’dfind finditithard hardtotoemigrate,’ emigrate,’said saidRomy. Romy. ‘I‘Imean, mean,Gus’s Gus’sparents parentscan canafford afforda amansion mansioninin France Franceand andititlooks looksamazing. amazing.But ButI’d I’dfeel feelcut cutoff off from fromfamily familyand andfriends. friends.My Myown ownculture.’ culture.’ ‘Lauren ‘Laurenseemed seemedkeen keentotobebeBritish Britishwhen whenshe shefirst first came cameover. over.Her Herfamily familyisisvery verygrand – grand – defi defi nitely nitelywent went over overononthe theMayfl Mayfl ower, ower,ororone oneofofthose thoseother otherearly early ships, ships,sosoI Ithink thinkshe shefelt feltshe shewas wascoming comingback backtotothe the Old OldCountry. Country.But Butmore morerecently – recently – well, well,I’m I’mnot notsososure.’ sure.’ ‘Shall ‘Shallwe wefind findsomething somethingnice nicetotowatch watchon ontelly?’ telly?’ she shesaid saidafter aftera alittle littlewhile. while.All Allthis thistalk talkofofGus Gusand and Lauren Laurenwas wasa anecessary necessarybut butunwelcome unwelcomereminder reminder that thatshe sheand andFelix Felixhad hadother otherhalves halvestotoconsider. consider. ‘Or ‘Ora afilm!’ film!’His Hisenthusiasm enthusiasmreturned. returned.‘I‘Ihave havea a zillion zillionDVDs.’ DVDs.’ 2929
‘Oh, ‘Oh,no noNetfl Netfl ix?’ ix?’ He Heshook shookhis hishead. head.‘No ‘Nointernet. internet.Come Comeand andlook look through throughthe theselection selectionand andthen thenwe weneed needtotothink think about aboutfood. food.It’s It’sChristmas. Christmas.It’s It’sthe thelaw.’ law.’ ‘I’ve ‘I’vegot gotsome somelovely lovelyCheddar Cheddarininmy mycar,’ car,’said said Romy. Romy.‘It‘Itwas wasgoing goingtotobebea apresent presentfor forGus’s Gus’spar par ents. ents.They Theymiss missCheddar, Cheddar,apparently, apparently,ininFrance.’ France.’ ‘I’ve ‘I’vegot gotsome somebasics, basics,potatoes, potatoes,some sometins tinsofofthings.’ things.’ ‘We’ll ‘We’llbebefine!’ fine!’Romy Romyhad hadbeen beena astudent studentfor fora afew few years yearsnow. now.She Shewas wasconfi confi dent dentthat thatshe shecould couldmake make something somethingtasty tastyout outofofrandom randomingredients, ingredients,even evenifif Felix Felixcouldn’t. couldn’t.‘Let’s ‘Let’shave havea alook lookatatthese theseDVDs DVDsthen.’ then.’ He Hedid didhave havea avast vastcollection, collection,kept keptininshoeboxes. shoeboxes. There Therewere weresome somelovely lovelyold oldfilms filmsshe’d she’deither eithernever never seen seenororhadn’t hadn’tseen seenfor forages, ages,and andbox boxsets setsofofTV TV series seriesshe’d she’dnever nevercaught caughtup upwith. with. th th ‘I‘Ithink thinkit’s it’sgot gottotobebeMiracle Miracleonon3434 Street,’ Street,’said said Felix. Felix.‘It’s ‘It’sChristmas. Christmas.Then Thenwe’ll we’llmake makedinner.’ dinner.’ When Whenhe’d he’dset setititallallup upheheplonked plonkedhimself himselfon onthe the sofa sofanext nexttotoher. her.‘I’m ‘I’mnot notsnuggling snugglingup upororanything, anything, but butififI Isitsitover overthere thereI’ll I’llget geta aterrible terriblecrick crickininthe the neck.’ neck.’ Romy Romywished wishedhehecould couldsnuggle snuggleup. up.She Shecouldn’t couldn’t imagine imagineanything anythingnicer. nicer.
‘Do ‘Doyou youknow, know,I’d I’dnever neverseen seenthat thatbefore?’ before?’said said Romy Romywhen whenthe thefilm filmhad hadended. ended.‘It’s ‘It’slovely!’ lovely!’She She 3030
tried triedtotowipe wipeher hereyes eyeswithout withouthim himseeing, seeing,and andwas was caught caughtout. out. ‘It’s ‘It’sOK. OK.You’re You’resupposed supposedtotocry.’ cry.’ ‘And ‘AndI Idid! did!Now NowI’m I’mhungry!’ hungry!’ ‘Let’s ‘Let’smake makesomething somethingtotoeat.’ eat.’ Gus Guswasn’t wasn’ta agreat greatone onefor forsharing sharinga akitchen. kitchen. He Hedid didlike liketotocook, cook,with witha alot lotofofknife knifesharpening sharpening and andbanging, banging,and andthrowing throwingused usedpans pansinto intothe the sink, sink,but buthehedidn’t didn’twant wantRomy Romythere therewhile whilehehedid did it.it.Felix, Felix,however, however,was wasmuch muchmore morerelaxed relaxedininthe the kitchen. kitchen.He Hewas washappy happyfor forRomy Romytotochop chopand andpeel, peel, or, or,when whenititcame cametotothe thecurry currysauce, sauce,stir stirand andtaste taste and andfiddle fiddlewith withthe theseasoning. seasoning.(Gus (Gusdespised despisedtasting tasting food foodwhile whileyou youcooked cookedit.it.His Histheory theorywas wasthat thatifif you youknew knewwhat whatyou youwere weredoing, doing,you youknew knewhow howthe the food foodtasted.) tasted.) Felix Felixwas waseven evenvery veryforgiving forgivingwhen whenRomy Romyadded added far fartoo toomuch muchchilli chillipaste, paste,insisting, insisting,between betweengulps gulps ofofwater, water,that thatheheliked likeda abit bitofofheat heat – – especially especiallyatat Christmas. Christmas. ‘What ‘Whatwould wouldyou youlike liketotodrink drinkwith withthat?’ that?’hehe asked askedRomy, Romy,when whenshe’d she’dfound foundsome someyoghurt yoghurtinin the theback backofofthe thefridge fridgeand andhad hadmanaged managedtotocool coolitit down downa abit. bit. ‘Have ‘Haveyou yougot gotany anylager?’ lager?’ He Henodded. nodded.‘Over ‘Overininthe thestudio. studio.I’ll I’llgogoand andget getit.it. It’ll It’llbebenice niceand andcold.’ cold.’ While Whilehehewas wasgetting gettingit,it,Romy Romytook tookher herplate plate with withher hertotothe thesofa. sofa.ItItwas wassosocosy cosythere. there.Could Couldshe she 3131
have havedone donethis thiswith withGus? Gus?she shewondered. wondered.And Andshe she decided decidedno. no.Curry Curryon onyour yourlap lapininfront frontofofthe theTV TV would wouldnever neverbebeallowed allowedatatChristmas, Christmas,and andififthey theyhad had ititatatany anyother othertime, time,Gus Guswould wouldbebewatching watchingsport. sport. Romy Romydidn’t didn’tmind mindthis thissosomuch, much,but butshe shehated hateditit when whenGus Guskept keptgetting gettingup upand andpunching punchingthe theair, air, shouting shouting‘yes!’ ‘yes!’oror‘come ‘comeon!’ on!’He Hewould wouldbounce bounceback back down downon ontotothe thesofa, sofa,jolting joltingher herout outofofher herlittle littledoze. doze. Felix Felixsat satdown downnext nexttotoher herand andhanded handedher hera abeer. beer. ‘So, ‘So,what whatdo doyou youfancy fancynow? now?Ever Everseen seenNorthern Northern Exposure Exposure ? ?It’s It’sthe thebest! best!I Ihad hadtotoget getthis thisfrom fromGer Ger many manytotoget getthe theoriginal originalsoundtrack.’ soundtrack.’ ‘Music ‘Musicisisimportant, important,isn’t isn’tit?’ it?’Romy Romytook tookanother another mouthful mouthfulofofcurry curryand andthen thena asip sipofofbeer beertotocool coolher her mouth. mouth. ‘Very. ‘Very.Not Noteveryone everyonegets getsthat.’ that.’ She Shedidn’t didn’task askififLauren Laurengot gotthat. that.She’d She’dbebehoping hoping for forthe theanswer answertotobebe‘no’. ‘no’.That Thatwould wouldhave havebeen been wrong wrongfor forsosomany manyreasons. reasons.
Romy Romyyawned yawnedwidely. widely.‘Oh, ‘Oh,sorry!’ sorry!’She Sheglanced glancedup up atatthe thebig bigclock clockthat thathung hungon onone oneofofthe thewalls. walls.ItIt was wasonly onlyten teno’clock. o’clock.She Shefelt feltguilty. guilty.ItItwas wasrude rudetoto yawn. yawn. ‘Early ‘Earlystart? start?Because Becauseofofthe themarket?’ market?’ ‘It‘Itwas waspretty prettyearly. early.And AndI Iwas wasup uplate latelast lastnight night making makingthings.’ things.’ 3232