rear pew mirror • doug brook
The World-to-Come Games
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June 2022 • Southern Jewish Life
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Olympic teams have alternate athletes. In that spirit, perhaps the World Games have alternate sports — ones potentially considered but ultimately excluded. Here are some humble examples. These aren’t just any alternate sports, they’re Jewish sports — ones you’ll find in volume two of the leaflet Famous Jewish Sports Legends. These are the sports you’d see on ESPN18 — The “Chai,” bringing the finest in seldom-seen Jewish sports from around the globe since 1999 B.C.E. If it’s almost a Jewish sport, they’ve got it there. These are sports that aren’t represented in the World Games. Or the Maccabiah. Or the Olympics. Yet. Perhaps they’ll be included only in the world to come, or maybe these Jewish games will be added soon. After all, the World Games already include Ju-Jitsu. Perhaps the most glaring omission is the classic Israeli sport of Gaga. As the bruises on many summer campers show, Gaga is an evolutionary step beyond Dodgeball. The five rules of Gaga are dodge, duck, duchen, daven, and… dodge. Gaga isn’t limited to select athletes; it’s played worldwide by many average Josephs. It also has the perfect music tie-in with a song suitable for playing both at the stadium and on ESPN18 broadcasts. As Queen fans have long known, all we hear is Radio Gaga — a song for which a cover by Lady Gaga is long overdue. It would be the perfect cross-promotion if officials accidentally found the right mix of courage and chutzpah to add the sport. The World Games includes billiards and the Maccabiah includes chess. Both of those could open the door to another ubiquitous, more Jewish table-bound game of skill and acuity: Mah-Jongg. Yes, the game originated in 19th-century China but, as the dominoes have fallen, bubbes everywhere have It’s time for some made playing Mah-Jongg as Jewish as having Chinese food on Erev Christmore Jewish sports mas. Chess and Mah-Jongg both feature to be included in strategy but not much in the way of physical skills. For a table sport that the World Games includes strategy but also adds an element of literal dexterity, look no further than Dreidel. Dreidel is the perfect confluence. Games of strategy are part of the World Games. Table sports (Billiards) are part of the World Games. Competitions involving spinning, including Gymnastics and DanceSport (née Competitive Ballroom Dancing), are part of the World Games. Despite not being Chanukah, it’s the perfect time for Dreidel — what better way to unite a world so divided into two sides, than featuring a game that’s about four sides instead? The World Games already feature Flag Football. The Maccabiah features three-on-three basketball. They combine into an opportunity for the World Games’ minions — field minyans to compete in 10-on-10 football. Judaism has often shown how just one person can make a huge difference. Imagine the significant impact of reducing the regular American Football baker’s minyan of 11 players, by one. Also, with every country having a minyan playing for them, even the worst team always has a prayer. continued on previous page