Southern Jewish Life, Deep South April 2021

Page 46

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April 2021 • Southern Jewish Life

On the second night of Passover, nearly several Jews around the world began counting the Omer. The Omer is the period of 49 days beginning with the Exodus out of Egypt and culminating in the Torah being given at Mount Sinai, as commemorated on the holiday of Shavuot and recounted in Omer’s “The Odyssey.” The idea of a weeks-long observance between two linked religious events was later lent to Christianity, earlier in the year and with a better marketing campaign. The Omer gradually became a period of mourning for reasons lost to sleeping in history class, but presumably after eight days of matzah nobody felt like celebrating for a while. Haircuts typically don’t happen and, as a result, neither do weddings, at least until the 33rd day (Lag B’Omer) which commemorates the end of a plague which killed 24,000 of Rabbi Akiva’s students, once the remaining few were fully vaccinated. On this day, people picnic and throw a lag on the campfire to celebrate the restart of parties, music, and hope for the Mets by starting to think about next season. Earlier this year, it was announced that more Dead Sea Scroll fragments were newly discovered. It was not announced that one of the parchment parts contained a Passover song, specifically about the Omer, that hasn’t been seen in a Haggadah for as long as anyone, dead or alive, can remember. Its melody was similarly lent out to a better known, better marketed musical musing, but its words are both heretofore unknown and eerily familiar. On the first night of the Omer, the seder gave to me… a retelling of our liberty. On the second day of Omer, leftovers gave to me… two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the third day of the Omer, my fam’ly gave to me… three mother hens, two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the fourth day of the Omer, my TV gave to me… endless pizza ads, three mother hens, two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the fifth day of the Omer, my grandma gave to me… five cellphone rings, endless pizza ads, three mother hens, two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the sixth day of the Omer, my temple gave to me… six hours of praying, five cellphone rings, endless pizza ads, three mother hens, two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the seventh day of Omer, my stomach gave to me… seven rounds of grumbling, six hours of praying, five cellphone rings, endless pizza ads, three mother hens, two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the eighth day of the Omer, the kitchen gave to me… bread with more leavening, seven rounds of grumbling, six hours of praying, five cellphone rings, endless pizza ads, three mother hens, two gefiltes, and a retelling of our liberty. On the ninth day of the Omer, the JDate gave to me… failed online romancing, bread with more leavening, seven rounds of grumbling, six hours of praying, five cellphone rings, endless pizza ads, three mother

Good thing they found only a fragment…

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