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MOUNT SELEYA,there VULCAN In the beginning, was a — In light of recent events, the Vulcan High Council has finally consented to consider whether the Terran Jewish question. custom saying sunny, Kaddish is logical. It wasof a warm, summer Why would the Vulcans Shabbat morning, whencareanabout a ritual from Earth, especially one that is specificallywoman Jewish? Some unsuspecting was Vulcan scholars have found Judaism fascinating ever discovering that lot, the time-honored salute approached in asince synagogue parking and asked theVulcan question thatis identical to a hand gesturequips. used by the Jewish high priest during priestly would launch a thousand benedictions. “Do you think you know four rabbis who would prefer people sleeping Not only the hand gestures identical in formation, but Vulcans and through theare sermon, rather than talking during it?” She said, “probably. ” Jews also them equally painful. From thatfind came the headline, “Rabbis prefer sleeping during sermon.” It isthat therefore logical to believe that where oneinnocuous parallel exists, other In first fateful column, 18 years ago, her “probably” parallels couldofbe least worthy of exploration. was the basis theat scientific assertion that four out of five rabbis prefer Terranduring Jewisha tradition Kaddish every daySimple: for 11 sleeping sermon. has Frompeople wheresay came the fifth rabbi? monthswas after immediate passes away, and thenThus, everyfour yearout on When theanlast time fiverelative rabbis agreed on anything? thefive. anniversary date. An immediate relative is defined as a parent, spouse, of sibling, or child, because these areinvestigative the relatives skills you are most likely tothere have The journalistic integrity and demonstrated affronted with frustration, indignance, or playing Barry could havemore easilyfrequently led to a prestigious career today in covering the Middle M*nilow too loud. East for most major news outlets. But instead, this column labored every Is it logical dwell thethat past?were Some Vulcanand scholars say thattwice it is month (excepttofor the on ones missed), sometimes logical only to look forward. Others thatalmost one can lookreaders. at the past monthly, to bring almost several laughssay to its several without on it.waves A few of more that the question is irrelevant It rodedwelling the sound Thebelieve Southern Shofar though, despite because it was asked in the past, rode whichinhasthe yetseat to bebehind proven to be logical contractual stipulation, never a Southern to dwell upon, andspoke therefore is simultaneously both Voice, relevant and Chauffeur. It then in its itown Deep South Jewish before irrelevant fully investigated. settling inuntil to Southern Jewish Life‘s hind end — unless you read the One scholar raised the accepted tenet that how death magazine right to left, which does not make most of we thedeal newswith today makeis at leastorasless, important more, sense. as how we deal with life. Saying Kaddish is a form of Over dealing death, and therefore it would merit exploration as an thewith years, this column presented the wisdom of the recentlyexploration long-lost of life itself. discovered, Mishnah tractate Bava Gump which, among other The Kaddish doesshrimp not talkcan about death, or about individuals. The most things, teaches how be kosher. logical purposeretold of reciting it is simply to remember. The column the legendary adventures of theHowever, beloved Vulcan young mental discipline allows and them have exceptional so there kabbalist, Harry Plotzer, histoadventures with Thememory, Sanhedrin’s Stone,is much debate about whether such a ritualistic is necessary. through The Chamber of Shpielkis, and with reminder The Prisoner of Ashkenaz a basic form, a similar When andInThe Gabbai of once Fire, again though not yetVulcan gettingritual to Thealready Deadlyexists. Challahs. a Vulcan dies, his orwere her guests, Katra — theasliving spirit, orone soul, Occasionally there such the recurring duecontaining to a hareeverything they knew and were can beasretained. Whenthe this form of brained rabbinical typo, Ask the— Rabbit, well as Gurb Caveman mind meld is performed, as part report of the from process word “remember” is Rabbi, and the occasional special Thethe Oynion. uttered. Explored were calendar anomalies and events, real and surreal, such as Once again,Mezuzapalooza, debate exists. Some scholars believe that this provides Thanksnukah, Kol Nidre the 13th, Purover, Chrisnukah, precedent and for athe ritual to remember those whoand haveDay passed. Others say an Yomtober, pirated Rosh Hashaarrrnah of Aarrrtonement. unpronounceable Vulcan Been term, Run which bestBytranslates as “poppycock. ”A The chorus of “Bubbe’s Over a Reindeer” was sung, the few more believe thathis nobody can truly know whatwho would be best until Rebbe at the Bat got bell rung, and the Grinch hated Jew-ville theyhis canhatred establish a common frame of reference — in essence, that they had unstrung. would haveit to die before they this could discuss matters In case wasn’t apparent, is competently the 18th anniversary of thisrelated space to death. not being for rent. In honor of this Chai anniversary, it would seem Of course,tothe question exists chai that tea. if a Vulcan’s Katra is preserved, is appropriate toast it with some that person truly Thatbaffled is, if the soul persists, is that person gone Except that chaigone? tea has rabbinic scholars for hundreds of “enough”(“Should to be mourned and, thus, commemorated via theLet’s Kaddish? seconds. we have seconds? Is one cup enough? drink on theall, debate Earth centuries ago whena iscup theofactual it.”Like ) After chai on is not pronounced like regarding Chai, though chai point in time to when a life begins, thissome raisessay the centuries-old Vulcan makes it easier pronounce Chai. And that chai has properties debate whenone’s lifelife, truly ends. During one of many debates on that helpabout to extend one’s Chai. this subject ago,relationship the great Surak’s discordant And what centuries is chai tea’s to Thaisummary Iced Tea?ofIsthe there such a discourse became a philosophical of the Vulcanaspeople: thing as Thai Chai Tea? If there is, arecornerstone its effects best described tai chi Infinite Diversitysystem? from Infinite Combinations. for the digestive So, as of writing,totheponder Council has suspended Kaddish debate These arethis questions during this High the Holy Day season, so they can focusnot instead resolvingon a more It is though perhaps late on afternoon Yom fundamental Kippur. Thisissue. column
continued continuedon onprevious previouspage page 38 Southern Jewish Life • April 2015