rear pew mirror • doug brook
Hooping Cough This winter, the Yeshiva University men’s basketball team stomped on every joke about famous Jewish sports legends by ranking number one in the nation in Division III hoops. The Maccabees held the top spot for the entire month of December, until a home loss on Erev New Year’s Eve ended their historic winning streak at 50 games. It was their first loss in over two years, but perhaps it was destiny. After the 49 days of the Omer, the 50th day is Shavuot – the major festival celebrating the receiving of the Torah at Mount Sinai (not the hospital). Also, the biblical jubilee year is every 50 years – the last one being 2017-18, the first time YU ever made it into March Madness. No, they don’t play on Shabbat. Yes, most players wear kippahs on their heads throughout every game – kippahs with a pair of clips built into the inside. Yes, there’s an official kippah provider for the team, because of course there is. Not to doubt the quality of that provider’s wearable wares, but this begs the question of what happens when a player’s kippah falls off during game action. After all, referees stop play when they think there’s a drop of moisture on the floor. What perils might await from an actual object such as a kippah on the floor? Not only how it might harm the players physically, but spiritually. Instead of researching the answer, it’s far more Talmudic (and sillier) to consider and debate the possibilities. At length. Though it’s far more magazine-columnic to do it in 700 words, so this is an abridgement. Remember, a kippah is worn on the head at all times. If a kippah falls on the ground, one traditionally kisses it and puts it back on. But if a kippah falls in the woods and nobody hears it, did they really have a minyan? So, first, what does a player do when his kippah comes off? Stop playing, keep playing, come out of the game, bench tachanun (short or long), etc. The permutations are vast, but column space isn’t, so presume that Beit once again defeated Beit Shammai, March Madness Hillel resulting in referees always stopping play is less complex the instant any kippah ever flew the kop. Second, what about the circumstances? than basketball If a kippah is knocked off by an opposing player, regardless of the number of team in the Talmud fouls, it results in a free throw. If it is intentionally knocked off, it’s treated as an intentional foul resulting in two shots. These kippah shots are in addition to any free throws if a normal basketball foul is called. Also, if an opposing player does it intentionally twice in a game, he is ejected and subject to a stern tweet by the Anti-Defamation League. If a kippah is knocked off by a teammate, it’s partially treated as a technical foul. The opposing team gets a free throw, for play being forced to stop, but it isn’t counted as a team or personal foul. Possession returns to whichever team had the ball when the yarmulke was yanked. If a kippah is intentionally knocked off by a teammate, the tzuris in that locker room is punishment enough for such a batted beanie. And if a player steps on a fallen kippah? The only thing worse is if a player steps on a kippah while still on someone’s head. If a player’s kippah is knocked off but the player catches it midair and restores it, no foul is called unless it is deemed intentional. However, this action is often distracting to the player which could impact their play. For example, if a player is dribbling and his kippah starts to come off, continued on previous page 46
February 2022 • Southern Jewish Life