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January 2021 • Southern Jewish Life
It’s finally not 2020 anymore. Bask in that for a moment. Have another moment. No matter what, don’t indulge a single thought recalling that many people felt similar angst toward 2019 as it ended, looking ahead to 2020 with high hopes that even someone who is high realizes were never realized. But fear not for 2021. The Talmud has come to the rescue, saving our savior 2021, praised be its number. As if anticipating that everyone would need a New Year’s Day as over-the-top badly as January 1 just provided, Jewish tradition provides a bonus. In fact, four bonuses. Jews around the world have four more New Year celebrations in store for 2021, and there’s enough to share. Of course, these four exist every year, but if 2020 taught anything it’s that a sizable minority of the populace isn’t interested in diminishing a wild story with facts. And the more separations from 2020, the better. The first Jewish New Year celebration of 2021 is coming up fast. Tu B’Shevat, the New Year for Trees, is Jan. 28. The rabbis in the Talmud — the Talmud is big enough that you can fit several rabbis in it — decided that trees experience the start of their annual cycle when the rainy season ends. Why they thought the rainy season ends this early is unclear, but they lumbered along until they figured on a date for the trees. The second New Year is really the first, since it was the first one ever mentioned. The Torah refers to the new year as starting on the first day of Nisan, the day that kicked off the spring Nissan Sales Event which originally came 15 days before the start of Passover. This New Year’s Day in Nisan was also used in the kingdoms of Israel and Judah to measure each king’s reign. But because Tu B’Shevat previously marked the end of the rainy season, everyone became so confused that this ultimately led to the end of both Get ready monarchies. Even more well known to far fewer to celebrate people is the third New Year’s Day. On the first of Elul, exactly one month prithe New Year or to The One People Actually Know, is several times… the New Year for animals. Mentioned in the Mishnah and unobserved since, this day honoring animals was largely forgotten for thousands of years until someone decided there wasn’t quite enough obscure information on the Internet. In the Days of Yore (Yiddish for “I can’t count that low”), on this day shepherds would shepherd their most mature animals to be tithed. If a shepherd’s schlepper couldn’t decide which animals to schlep, they’d race the animals which, among other things, originated the baseball rule that the tithe always goes to the runner. This day is also Talmudically credited as when many herd animals are born, after conception early in the spring. Of course, the Talmud features disagreement about exactly when most animals conceive though, thankfully, a resolution through exhaustive empirical observation was not indulged. Today, almost several Jews have started the tradition of honoring animals on this day. It might seem unrelated, because it is, but this new tradition is mostly manifested two months later when numerous synagogues hold a parade of animals coinciding with the Torah reading of Noah. Wedged in between the New Year for animals and the animal parade is the New Year event with the best press agent. Rosh Hashanah commemo-