No adversity score Life doesn’t’ keep track of your adversity score, and it certainly doesn’t offer exclusions from further grief and sadness. (P. 217.) Even before the plane crash, Nancy faced tremendous personal challenges. She was diagnosed twice with breast cancer, which she says forced her to face her own mortality. She also endured one mastectomy and breast reconstruction. “I’ve got a tattoo now,” she says, modestly exposing part of a surgery scar. “During my first cancer, my mother said I had to treat it as an adventure…to just get through it. My family didn’t view it that way,” she adds half-smiling. “But my mother taught me skills of knowing how I can survive.” She also has suffered the loss of both parents: her father to cancer and her mother after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s. And in 2005 her sister, Linda, died of cardiac arrest in her sleep.
Keeping on
Having survived through so much adversity, it makes sense to wonder how Nancy keeps going? “Part of survival is living in the present,” she states firmly. She also appreciates her relationships with many friends; and especially with Greg Roman, her fiancé of eight years. “Greg is really wonderful, and he’s great at living in the moment.” A retired Air Force Colonel and is a defense contractor, he also co-owns Rhino’s, a sports bar on the east side of Colorado Springs. “That’s his true passion!” Nancy says she tries to keep things in perspective and takes pleasure in life’s tiny gifts more and more. Not being particularly religious, she believes it’s important to make a positive difference in this world. Proof of practicing this belief and of her caring heart, she gives back to society. Nancy served 32 years in public education. She was honored as Colorado’s National Distinguished Principal and received the prestigious Milken Family Foundation Award. Further, the American Cancer Society awarded her with their Sword of Hope. I do have a wonderful life today, but it’s definitely in spite of my losses, not because of them. I will never get over losing Joel, Adam, and Seth. I miss them too much. I read a quote that said, ‘Grief is love that will not go away.’ What has changed is the intensity of the pain I feel when I think about people I have lost. (P. 221.)
New chapter in life
The future is wide open with exciting opportunities, according to Nancy. “Book clubs are what I’m doing now. I love that people give me hugs and say it’s like they already know me, after reading the book. “It’s so much fun, but also humbling. What I have to say is important, but so is what others say to me.” May 2014
33