Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

Favorite joke

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor man takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger?

Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!

ALMOST NEW TIRES, ONLY 200 MILES, Bridgestone 275/50/R22 Bridgestone, asking $1,000 for all (775)7201627

HELP NEEDED IN LARGE FLOWER GARDEN, Gardnerville - Part time, seasonal - early spring to mid fall. Physical outdoor work in all kinds of weather. Interested call (831)535-2455 for more details.

Carson Valley Days

The Carson Valley Active 20-30 Club #85 is pleased to announce this year’s 113th Annual “Carson Valley Days Festival” will be held June 8th – June 11th, 2023!! This year’s parade theme will be “Aloha, Carson Valley!”Join us and make this year’s Carson Valley Days Festival the best yet!

A knock at my door

A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence.

After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that he would just go away. Then, he decided to look through the window. He shouted, “Do you think I’m stupid? I can see you in there, sir. Open the door!”

I said, “You’re not coming in here!”

He said, “I don’t want to come in, I just want you to step out of the car.”

PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)2657081

ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35+ years experience (530)721-3136

DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462

D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808

1942 DODGE CARRYALL, 2 NEW FLOOR JACKE, 2 83 Chevy motor on engine stand, gas welder setup, new 03-06 Jeep soft top, 2 firewood racks (775)782-2459

Back trouble

A cowboy went to a chiropractor complaining of back trouble. The Doc looked him over and could see he’d suffered some rough life. “Have you been in any accidents lately?” he asked.

The cowboy thought about it for a moment, “No, no real accidents, I guess. Well, I been kicked by a mule last week, yesterday I got throwed by my mustang and last month I got bit by a snake.”

“You don’t call those accidents?” said the doctor with incredulity. “Nah. Pretty sure they meant to do it on purpose.”

TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)8858398

“Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.”

BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297

DIXIE-NORFOLK COCACOLA VENDING MACHINE Model 180 manufactured 1996 works well $1,000 (775)9010717

HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

Older Than Dirt Quiz

Count all the ones that you remember, NOT the ones you were told about! Ratings at the bottom. 1. Candy cigarettes 2. Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes 3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles 4. Party lines on the telephones 5. Newsreels before the movie 6. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels!! If you had a TV!! 7. Pea-shooters 8. Howdy Doody 9. 45 RPM records 10. 78 rpm records 11. Hi-fi records 33 1/3 rpm 12. Metal ice trays with lever 13. Blue flashbulb 14. Cork popguns 15. Studebakers 16. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young. If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older. If you remembered 7-10 = Don’t tell your age, & If you remembered 11-16 = You’re older than dirt !!! THAT’S ME !!! (I remember them all, therefore I’m nearly dirt, never mind older than dirt, lol) I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)2672490

“I won’t be wronged. I won’t be insulted. I won’t be laid a-hand on. I don’t do these things to other people and I require the same from them.” John Wayne

CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, Maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051

First Wedding

A little girl finally got to attend a wedding for the first time. While in the church, the girl asked her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

The mother replied to the girl, “Because white is the color of happiness and it’s the happiest day of her life today.”

After a little bit, the girl looks up at her mother and says, “But then, why is the groom wearing black?”

AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, tac-aimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214

WINTEC SYNTHETIC WESTERN SADDLE, SIZE 15, includes cinch and two saddle blankets $450 (775)790-4622

2007 FORD RANGER, RUNS GOOD, VEHICLE parked at NE corner Hwy 395 and North Sunridge (775)781-1531

LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585

Happy June Birthdays!

A wish for you on your birthday, whatever you ask may you receive, whatever you seek may you find, whatever you wish may it be fulfilled on your birthday and always. Happy birthday!

FOR SALE 2008 HARLEY FAT BOY, 2014 HARLEY Switch Back, both must go, many extras (77)835-3875

STILL LOOKING FOR A THIRD PERSON TO COME INTO my kitchen (downtown Minden) to make hourly organic juices, meals and special preparations for the Gerson therapy. Paying $15 hour, especially need someone for the weekends and possibly other days (775)782-2427

The Joy of Holiday Cards

A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her holiday cards. “What denomination?” asks the clerk.

“Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist.”

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)9011848

Custodian Job Opening

Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Custodians; various positions & sites (40 hours per week) Starting Salary: $17.86/hour or up to 5 years of experience; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave, vacation & holidays. NV PERS retirement. For more information, please contact Bill Blumenthal, Facilities Supervisor at wblument@dcsd.k12.nv. us or visit our website at dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.

CUSTOM INTERNET SERVICE! UP TO 100 MBPS (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777

SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER Door install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, moldings, barn/wood plank-shiplap-beadboard wall covering and cabinet installation. Call Mark (775)782-6198 or (775)7905927

ABC WINDOW CLEANERS, SERVING GARDNERVILLE and Minden areas, 35 years experience, NV20161064184, Rick (530)544-0590

MONTANA WOODWORK RUSTIC PINE DINING table, rectangle with six chairs, make offer (775)790-2251

June 18th - Father’s Day

GREEN MASTER LANDSCAPE & MAINTENANCE, residential & commercial, lawn care, sprinkler repairs, cleanups, dethatching, aeration, pruning, tree trimming, 7am - 6pm, NV License 20222534179 (775)297-5742

WANTED, OLD CARS, COLLECTOR CARS, MUSCLE cars, non running or no title okay, private collector, give me a call (775)315-8265

C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, “WINDOW CLEANING at its finest”, Call Casey (775)350-8021

Kind of work?

“What kind of work are you doing now?” “I’m a debt collector.” “That’s not a really pleasant job is it?” “It’s not too bad. People are always asking me to call again.”

USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#88940 (775)247-2539

BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629 the bathroom door is closed! Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get out.

June 21st - First day of Summer! Yay!!

Attention children ...

Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, and I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it’s been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.

Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done. Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door. Do not go running back to the phone yelling “She’s in the BATHROOM!” Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in. Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two. Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done. And yes, I still love you. Mom

ALESIS ELECTRIC KEYBOARD, MODEL Q5-57/58, piano stand, bench 2 speakers sell for $300 (760)914-1068

TOOLS, WELL MAINTAINED, SKILL 10” MITER saw, Skill Saws All, portable folding tool stand with expanding side rollers, 10” Delta table saw, Porter cable tank 2 guns and hose (775)265-6673

How to make Memorial Day meaningful for children

Despite the fact that most Americans take Memorial weekend to remember ANYONE who has died…..the actual reason for Memorial Day is to remember those who died in service to the United States of America.

It is important to teach our children the REAL reason we celebrate and how important it is to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice…their lives. So while it is fine to decorate graves for relatives and friends, it is extra important to take a moment to remember the heroes that have represented out country.

You need to teach your kids the true meaning of Memorial Day. It is also good to try and make it meaningful to them. There are some easy ways to make Memorial Day meaningful for children.

Visit your local cemetery and put flags or flowers on the graves of fallen soldiers. Write thank you notes to someone you know who currently serves in the military. Do some Memorial Day crafts and talk to your kids about the meaning behind the holiday. Talk to your kids about what our soldiers fight to protect. Tell them about children in other countries who may not have the right to go to school, church, demonstrate, etc. Attend a local Memorial Day parade as a family.

A few tidbits: Memorial Day was originally called Decorations Day. It all came about after the Civil War as a way to honor those killed during the war. Decorations Day was set aside for people to specifically decorate the graves of those who had died fighting in the war.

New York was the first state to recognize Memorial Day in 1873. All of the northern states had adopted Memorial Day as a holiday by 1890. It took until after World War 1 for the southern states to start observing Memorial Day. Memorial Day was officially made a national holiday in 1971.

PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis.

DECKS! RESURFACE, REPAIR, REPLACED AND trash removal, Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235

PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700

TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

FOR RENT! INDUSTRIAL SHOP “B” AT 1567 ZEROLENE, Minden, across from Flyers, available June 1st, 20’x24’, has 3 phase power, $700 per month (775)309-8472 or leave message at (775)782-2427

CRAFTSMAN WORKBENCH 24” DEEP X 6’W X 42”H, wood top with particle board to fit $140 (775)392-3099

Crystals Crusade 2023

Come join us for our Annual Crystal’s Crusade fundraiser (non-profit organization) to raise money for a local cancer family to go on a vacation and make beautiful memories! June 3rd, 2023, 3pm - 7pm; drinks, food, music, raffle and auction. Carson City’s Westside Pour House, 110 W. Telegraph St., Carson City.

SWIMMING POOL SERVICE, WEEKLY or Bi-Monthly, Mountain Pool & Spa Licensed and Insured Tahoepoolboy@gmail.com or (530)318-1698

CUSTOM POOL TABLE, MANUFACTURED BY Bauman Billiards, 4’x8’, includes cover, balls, rack, five cue sticks, crutch, powder, 2 bar stools (775)267-9345

Happy Father’s Day dad and Happy June Birthday ma! love you both so very much! Lisa

Very Blonde!

Submitted by a blonde

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, ‘How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here’ and hung up.

The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear

WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224

IRONMASTER SELF SPOTTING MACHINE WITH VECTRA barbells and dumb bells, exercise bench, power tower and attachments $800 OBO, Gardnerville (650)2916616

TIRES WANTED! 8.25X 20 AND 10X20, ALSO NEED tire machine, and truck Tarps (775)901-0717

CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352

Adam’s rib

During a Sunday school lesson, a child learned about how God created human beings.

The child became especially focused when the teacher explained how Eve was created from Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week, the boy’s mother saw him lying down on the floor, so she asked him what was wrong. His reply was priceless, “Mom, I have a pain in my side - I think I’m getting a wife.

(775)830-2358

“ALWAYS ON DUTY” STURDY HANDRAILS, flat or stepped areas, all metal, free standing, custom built to fit your needs, installation available, maintain independence & a healthy well being!

(775)790-6445

PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827

July 4th - Indpendence Day

THINKING OF CALLING CASH PAID FOR Old Costume Jewelry? This may be a good time to call. Frequent callers tell me they have seen my ad for a long time. I have advertised for over eighteen years in the Sierra Scoop. Looking forward to meeting you. message or text Joanne at (775)430-2352

HEATHKIT OSCILLOSCOPE WITH ACCESSORY

Calibrator, Models 10-45-30 and 10A-4510-1. manuals included, very good condition $65; Heathkit Tri-Power Supply IP2718, manual included, very good condition $55 (775)392-0585

The essential stuff in life

When Spring cleaning season arrived I decided that it was time to get rid of more than just a Winter’s worth of dust and dirt. I decided that it was the time to get rid of years worth of accumulated stuff as well. This stuff was lining my walls, filling my selves, and crowding my closets. This stuff was cluttering my home and my mind and not bringing me one bit of happiness. I couldn’t even remember how I got some of it, but I knew I wanted it gone.

It turned out to be an even bigger job than I thought. Twenty year old bills and receipts were tossed in the trash. File cabinets were cleaned of papers that were no longer necessary or needed. Broken bowls, dented pans, and cracked knickknacks were finally thrown away. Unworn clothes were hauled out of the closet and bagged up to be given away to the local Goodwill. Old books were boxed up to be passed on for others to read and enjoy. It took several days to get it all done, but in the end I was able to walk through a home that seemed a little less cluttered. My heart was a lot lighter too. It felt so good to be able to get rid of all the junk and to just focus on the essential stuff in life again.

What is the essential stuff? What is the stuff that brings meaning to our days? A loving heart is essential. A joyful spirit is essential. A soul full of goodness and God is essential. And a life full of sharing all of these things is absolutely essential. The essential stuff can’t be bought, sold, or stored. It can only be chosen, created, and given away. The essential stuff is the stuff we all really want. It is the stuff we all really need.

It is the stuff that our Loving Creator wants us to have. This stuff is called the treasures of Heaven but the truth is you can have it even while you are here on Earth. And the more you share this stuff with others the more you find it filling your home and warming your heart. (By Bryan)

$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

HUSQVARNA RANCHER 455 CHAINSAW, 20” BAR, 2 chains, bar sheath, used very little $399 OBO, Roger (775)790-4136

MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, EADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627

Generation gap?

During one “generation gap” quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, “I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find it here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!”

With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want you to try and stop me.”

“Who’s trying to stop you?” replied his father. “If you wait a minute, I’ll go with you.”

LAWN CARE SERVICE! MOWING, TRIMMING, Pruning, sprinkler repair and general yard cleanup, over 10 years experience, Andres (775)400-4742

I NEED SOMEONE TO RELEVEL MY MANUFACTURED home in Coleville, CA. If interested, call Phil at (775)552-5106

PRE BAN COLT SPORTER AR-15 .223 EXCELLENT condition $2,100, email Mark at marky2guns@gmail.com or (760)458-6218

A 4th of July Prayer

Heavenly Father, We thank you for this Nation. We thank you for the freedom we enjoy daily. May we never take for granted the liberties we have been given. May we remain humble and conscious of the blessings we enjoy because of the sacrifices made by countless men and women.We thank you for the abundance we enjoy. May we be sensitive to those around us who are in need, and may our hearts be quick to help when we have the means to do so.

We pray for our leaders. For those placed in authority over us. Father, we ask that you guide every decision they make. May they lead us with wisdom, humility, and grace.

Father bless our Nation with Your peace. May Your love flow through each one of us, and may we never forget to give You thanks, always. May you receive the glory, honor, and praise..In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen. (Author unknown)

1200 PRIMERS, 2 LBS. POWDER, IMR 4198/ TAC, 500 .224 bullets $250 (775)901-1256

HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)6915119

SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003