Front Prch Magazine

Page 17

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers This is a very funny story about an old lady whose husband died and she wanted to put an ad in the paper about the funeral. Story begins: The local newspaper funeral notice telephone operator received a phone call: A woman on the other end asked, “How much do funeral notices cost?” “$5.00 per word, Ma’am,” came the response. “Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?” “Yes, Ma’am.” “OK, write this, “Fred dead.” “I’m sorry, Ma’am, I forgot to tell you there’s a five-word minimum.” “Hmmph,” came the reply, “You certainly did forget to tell me that.” A moment of silence. “Got you pencil and paper?” “Yes, Ma’am.” “OK, print this: “Fred dead. Cadillac for sale.” Kids Learn by Observing...or Not A priest was invited to attend a house party. Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his priest’s collar. A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at. The little boy pointed to the priest’s neck. When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at, he asked the boy, “Do you know why I am wearing this?” The boy nodded his head yes, and replied, “It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months.”

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