October 2011
Perfect Ingredients - just add water & beer
The official magazine of the
National Shearwater Catamaran Owners’ Association
Class founded in 1956 Recognised by the Royal Yachting Association in 1959
President Chairman Vice-Chairman TT Co-ordinator Public Relations Measurer Treasurer Magazine Editor
Alan Howland Nigel Stuart Greg Wilcox Shaun Allen Catherine Howland Nigel Stuart Roger Crooks Malcolm Greenhill
01424 446331 01394 248329 07976 601399 01424 425689
alan.howland@lemonia.org nigel@lemonia.org gwilcox@globalnet.co.uk
catherine_howland@yahoo.co.uk nigel@lemonia.org malcolm@thegreenhills.net
www.shearwater-asc.org.uk
None of the articles, letters or photographs printed herein must be taken as expressing the opinion of the N.S.C.O.A. or the Editors unless stated otherwise, and no responsibility can be taken for the views or expressions stated in such articles, letters or photographs
Presidents Perceptions With the end of the season but a few days away I look back on what has been a remarkable year for the Class. Whilst the “summer”, i.e.. that time of year reputed to be of fine, warm weather, has left much to be desired, we have been very lucky. By starting our season mid –April many had visions of wintry conditions adding to the robustness of the Seaford beach yet the event was very well supported. Worthing was another example of dire forecasted conditions yet the turnout, not just by competitors but by all our dedicated support teams which left a very favourable impression on the hard working volunteers who run these events. Perhaps the greatest success in terms of good PR for the Class was the Yaverland Nationals in the full glare of a Nationally publicised event along side a wide spectrum of the Cat fraternity. The venue was superb for both sailors and support teams, particularly the children - and even the weather was exceptionally kind ! From discussions with various Club officials and many of the leaders of other Classes, the concept of a return to IoW in a format similar to this years would be a welcome proposal for the future. The season has also seen the introduction of a “ Borrow me “ boat and whilst some of the technical difficulties have been disappointing, not least to those sailing Sheargar, the project has been immensely successful in demonstrating the willingness of all concerned to help where ever they could and reassurance to the new team that we really do look after new members. Indeed, it seems our message is getting across as there could well be three new teams on the water next season and very welcome they will be. At the end of such a successful season it would be remiss of me not to record my appreciation to our very hard working committee members ( and their teams ! ) who spend many, many hours organising and arranging events and the associated administration so essential to the success of the Class. In my non executive role as President I would like to congratulate all our Committee on their achievements – between you you have made 2011 one of the best for years and the progress of the Class absolutely brilliant. And to every one – thank you for your friendship, camaraderie, hard work and sportsmanship. An old Class we might be but there are many who envy our youthful enthusiasm, energy and values. Alan. PS. My apologies for the brevity of these “ Perception “ but am currently trying to cope with the packing and/or disposal of 36 years accumulation of household effects prior to relocation to Felixstowe
Chairmans Chat Looking back at the season it seems to me that we have had it all, with new people joining the association, births of future crew, marriages, boats reborn, outstanding après sailing and some great racing, not to mention the Nationals on a sandy beach; what more could we ask for! All of this comes from everyone contributing to the Class which makes it such a success, so thank you all whether or not you or on the committee, a sailor or helping as support crew it all counts. One thing that has always stood out to me with the Shearwater Class is the attitude of the Shearwater sailor to others who sail with us. This was very apparent at the Worthing TT; The Saturday brought us fair winds and so 3 races back to back were raced with the another Cat Class, which was good fun. However, after the last race was sailed we were faced with an epic return journey to the boat park. The first obstacle was likened to the ‘moon surface’, underfoot were large boulders with slime and weed. This was then followed by an, energy sapping, walk along a ‘beach’ which was then followed by a weed hump and then finally a steep ramp to the finish line all in the most horrendous down pour. No crew was going to make it home without help and this is where the spirit of the Shearwaters stood out. It was so notable that all the Shearwater crews helped their neighbour over the various obstacles along with the support crews who braved the weather to come out and assist. When the last boats were home, both Darts and Shearwaters, a moment of reflection was passed to me from a fellow sailor that it was only the Shearwater sailors who went back to help and this is what has always stood out to me and many others about the Shearwater Class. With this in mind, I would like to suggest a new format for the ‘Paul Brown Memorable Trophy’. For those of you who don’t know about this award, who may not as it hasn’t been awarded for two years. This is a very special trophy, which was donated by a Shearwater sailor, Roger Brown to the Class in memory of his brother ‘Paul Brown’ who was also a Shearwater sailor. Paul was a very keen Shearwater sailor and was always there to help others and generally showed true ‘Shearwater spirit’ and so the trophy was introduced to be awarded to people, sailor or non sailor, who like Paul, showed displays of outstanding Shearwater spirit either over the year or in one particular action for no rewards other that the satisfaction of helping others. The decision on who is awarded the Paul Brown Trophy is down to you. Traditionally this has been done at the Nationals, but I feel this is always a bit rushed and time for thought over who deserves this special award is not given. Therefore, you will receive voting instructions with a sealed ballot later in the year so that this Trophy, if people feel there is anyone who deserves it, will be awarded at the Mid Winter Dinner. As I write this we are at the beginning of October sitting in the garden, with the water slide out and everyone in shorts and t-shirts! Next weekend is the last TT at Stone, so hopefully this weather may hold for the last TT of the 2011 season. Hopefully I will see you all Stone and after that at the MWD! - Nigel
Malc’s mutterings. Saturday October 1st.
It’s the warmest October day on record. From my office desk I can see a cloudless blue sky and hear the birds singing happily. Over the Pebsham Tip, with it’s flocking (careful) seagulls I can see the azure sea glinting in the distance, Beachy Head lost in the heat haze, ................... just like my bloody photographs of Canvey Island! Where the hell did I put them, my netbook, laptop, PC at home, PC or the network server at work, are they still in the camera? I’m already late publishing the magazine..................
Sunday October 2nd.
OK, found Canvey Island, now where did I put Stone??? Monday October 3rd 07.25.
Malcolm: Can you quickly check the magazine proof please dear? Janet: It’s OK dear, but where’s Hastings? Malcolm: Ahaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!, Bo!!oc*s!!!!!
Oh the pressure!!
Stone Sailing Club TT 18th & 19th June WOWEEE!!!! What a weekend!
Murray Greenhill sailed 'Dilligaf' to win his first TT event at Stone. Here are his thoughts... Firstly I would like to congratulate everyone who made it through the wind and rain on the motorways to get to Stone. The only way I managed it was to follow the wonky trailer board of 'Simply Red' through the spray off the road. The Shearwater family spirit was evident almost immediately as Friday evening began. We were sitting in the bar having a nice pint when a completely saturated Alan Howland entered the bar requesting all hands on deck to assist Rob and Angie in assembling their tent in what seemed to be a monsoon. Soon there were 8 or more totally saturated people and one assembled tent. Great success!! Saturday morning soon arrived with lots of rain, a steady force 5 breeze and 30+ knot gusts. This was the start of a very interesting day on the water. The first race began with a fairly crowded start line with both Shearwaters and Spitfires starting together. On this lap we could all see the windward mark and started heading towards it. Alex and father Greg Wilcox on 'Foreigner' were the only boat to dare hoist the spinnaker on the reach which gave them a huge boost. They soon regretted their decision
after the gybe when one of the larger gusts of the day forced them into such a violent pitchpole that their starboard hull snapped in half in front of the main beam, only being held together by the deck. Thankfully both helm and crew were ok and the boat was escorted back to the beach by two safety boats. We all hope that 'Foreigner' will be repaired to sail another day. We soon came to the beginning of the second lap and as we passed the committee boat we were struck by the most severe weather I have ever sailed in. The wind strength increased to 30+ knots with a downpour of rain which appeared to be coming at us sideways, stinging our faces and reducing visibility to a few yards. These conditions lasted for almost 15 minutes until the black clouds above had passed. A few boats later told me they survived by sitting in irons while two boats were blown over. I looked for the windward mark but I could not see it for the life of me. All I could see was the sail of 'Ruby', crewed by Roger Crooks and daughter Anna Alan, just ahead of me half way up the windward leg; so they became my bearing. Soon we were at the windward mark and hot on their tail. On the downwind leg 'Ruby' seemed to be pulling away from us so I asked my crew Nick Bristow, who was on a Shearwater for his first time that day, if he was feeling crazy. He replied yes so we hoisted the spinnaker. With some great spinnaker control, we sailed past 'Ruby' to take the gun at the line.
The second race was slightly delayed as two of our three safety boats were still carrying Foreigner back to the beach and the committee boat deemed it unsafe to start the race in those conditions with only one safety boat available. Once we were under way, it seemed the fleet were a bit overexcited which resulted in a general recall. The conditions were similar to race 1 but with smaller gusts and less rain. The whole fleet were extremely close throughout the entire race which lead to some great close racing in tricky conditions. I don’t really remember much about the second race because I was so busy trying to get past people, especially 'Carbon Footprint' who was just in front of me all the way round. Race three soon began and the weather turned again shortly after the start. More gusts around the 30 knot mark came blasting through which led to a few torn mainsails and capsizes, and the loss of my brand new carbon fibre spinnaker pole with custom fittings that I had only just finished that morning. DOH! Oh well, that’s racing. Just like the first race, the huge gusts played right into our hands. 'Carbon footprint' crewed by Shaun Allen and Claire Robinson were in front me of from the off and at one point it seemed like I was catching them but then they pulled away again. Throughout the entire race it seemed as if we had a giant bungee chord between us but in the end 'Carbon Footprint' took the gun. On the Saturday night we had our usual disco party but this time it was a themed night. The theme was “School days” due to Clare Robinson starting her new job as a School Headmistress (congratulations again Clare). The disco was run by two lovely Stone sailing club local lasses and we all had an amazing night. Thanks go to them. All too soon, after just a few hours sleep we all emerged from our various accommodations to another windy day. I think the thought going through everyone’s minds was “oh please not again” as we were all in a lot of pain from the day before. To our relief, the race Officer Wendy had picked up on the moans and groans and also decided the conditions were too challenging to run with the amount of safety cover that was on offer to us on the day due to club racing. This weekend is certainly one I will not forget. Not only because it was my first TT win as a helm but also because of the company, entertainment, weather and also that we brought a number of great new people into the fleet, including my crew for the weekend Nick Bristow.
2011 Shearwater National Championships
Yaverland Sailing and Boat Club
T
he 55th annual National Championships for the Shearwater Catamaran Class took place at Yaverland Sailing Club on the Isle of Wight from 14th -19th of August. The event was part of the Isle of Wight Catamaran Festival, incorporating both Hurricane and F18 Catamaran Nationals, sponsored by Wildwind Sailing Holidays, Towergate Insurance, Harken and Wight Link Ferries.
The Championships began on Sunday 14th of August with a Practice Race, which was incorporated into the Sandown Sailing Regatta, running concurrently over the weekend. This was won in convincing style by the Class Chairman Nigel Stuart, and his wife Sarah on Simsek. The subsequently awarded Trophy for the Race was bigger than the World Cup, and because of its value could not be removed from Yaverland Sailing Club, but provided excellent photo opportunities when awarded. The Competition proper began on the Monday morning, with 17 boats starting in a fresh South Westerly. Simsek lead to the Windward mark, overtaken by Shaun Allen and Clair Robinson on Carbon Footprint, closely followed by Dion and Anna Allen on Take5. The order remained the same until the final beat to the finish line, when Take5 overhaul Carbon Footprint to take the win. After a short respite for lunch Race 2 began in similar conditions. Ben and Jamie Farnborough on Genesis taking an early lead, with Alan Howland and Rob Britton leading the pack. Carbon Footprint lead the rest to close on the leaders, overhauling them on the final lap to take the win. Tuesday brought a lighter westerly breeze, Race 3 saw the Fleet in close company until the second beat, with Genesis breaking way from the pack, followed by Simsek, Alley Cat, and Darren Tully and Catherine Howland on Shearflamboyance leading the pack. Carbon Footprint was closed out at the start, but managed to work up the Fleet to take second place behind Genesis. Race 4 started in an increasing South Westerly, with Genesis establishing an early lead, closely followed by Carbon Footprint. The two pulling away from the pack, lead by Murray Greenhill and Lousie Curry on Dilligaf. Although there was many changes to the minor places, Genesis maintained the lead until the final gun, followed by Carbon Footprint. Wednesday morning began with a light North Westerly, and Roger Crooks and Bonnie Lloyd on Ruby establishing and early and commanding lead in Race 5, followed by Alley Cat and Grace and Derek Williams on UFO. Being on equal points overnight, Genesis and Carbon Footprint matched raced each other about the course, while Alley Cat was able to overhaul Ruby to take the win, closely followed by Take5.
Thursday brought a strong South Westerly, which continued to increase all day. Race 6 brought a crowded start line, but Carbon Footprint was able to find a gap and cross at full speed, establishing a commanding lead, and clear air, which was maintained to the final gun. Genesis leading the pack home. Race 7 began after lunch in marginal conditions, a few taking an early swim in the increasingly blustery conditions, and heavy swell. Genesis took the lead from Carbon Footprint at the end of
the first beat, the latter covering the Fleet for the remainder of the race. Alley Cat leading the rest of the pack home in challenging conditions. Friday began with Carbon Footprint the overnight leader, but only one point ahead of Genesis. Race 8 started in a fresh South Westerly, with Carbon Footprint first to the windward mark, They being quickly overhauled by Simsek on the second beat, but with Genesis caught in traffic further down the Fleet. As Carbon Footprint tacked to make the windward mark, the helm slipped of the trapeze hook, and the boat capsized. They quickly righted the boat to recover a 7th position, and maintain a 1 point advantage over Genesis, who finished 3rd. The 55th Championship was significant in so much as there was no clear winner until the final Race. The same applied to all the final places, which is a testament to the close racing across the Fleet. In addition, facilities and sailing area at Yaverland Sailing Club are superb, and the organisation of the event by Ian Molyneaux and all at Yaverland Sailing Club was exemplary. As was the professionalism of the Race Officers, Peter and Carole-Anne Poecock. Bringing together three Catamaran Classes to host a combined National Championships was an inspired and superb advert for Catamaran Sailing. Particular thanks must also go to the sponsors of the event, whose foresight and involvement were vital in making the event possible.
Eds’ comments A special note of thanks must go to WightLink. We have considered Yaverland SC as a Nationals venue twice in recent history however the high cost of the ferry has been a prohibitive factor. Without doubt WightLinks reduced fares made the difference. Thank-you WightLink
Rank 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
Sail No 1999 1990 2006 2007 1996 2005 1987 2008 2004 1988 2003 2000 2002 1980 1985 1982 199
Boat Name Carbon FootPrint Genesis Alley Cat Sim Sek Ruby Take 5 Caned & Unable Shear Flambouyance UFO Foreigner Please check Dilligaf New Flame China Crisis Simply Red Cour de Verre Mettise Sheargar
Helm Shaun Allen Ben Farnborough Alan Howland Nigel Stuart Roger Crooks Dion Allen Matt Wiseman Darren Tulley Grace Williams Greg Wilcox Murray Greenhill Barry Duck Robert Hamilton Peter Sharrod Judy Ross Joe McLewin Nick Bristow
Crew Clare Robinson Jamie Farnborough Rob Britton Sarah Stuart Bonnie Lloyd Anna Allen Laura Wiseman Catherine Howard Derek Williams Alex Wilcox Louise Curry John Wiseman Tayla Playford Richard Playford Gary Hill George Williams Chris Rivers
1st Camp 1
2nd Concours
Kids Prizegiving
3rd
Camp 2
Race 1 2 (4) (5) 3 (7) 1 (10) 8 6 (11) 9 14 (16) (15) 13 12 17
Race 2 Race 3 Race 4 1 2 2 3 1 1 2 3 (4) (17/DNF) (4) 3 4 (7) 5 6 (11) (13) 5 (9) 6 (9) 5 8 (11) 10 (16/DNF) 10 8 7 7 6 16/DNF 8 (18/DNF) 9 13 12 11 14 (18/DNF) 10 12 13 (18/DNC) 15 14 12 (18/DNC) 15 (18/DNC)
Race 5 Race 6 Race 7 Race 8 Points (6) 1 2 (7) 10 (8) 2 1 3 11 1 3 4 2 15 3 4 3 1 17 2 5 7 4 27 5 6 9 8 35 7 7 5 6 36 (13) 9 6 5 41 4 8 11 9 48 (11) 10 8 10 53 9 (17/DNF) 16/DNF (17/DNF) 63 10 12 (16/DNF) 11 64 (15) 11 12 12 71 14 13 10 14 75 12 14 (18/DNC) 13 77 (16) 15 (16/DNF) 15 83 18/DNC 18/DNC 18/DNC 18/DNC 104
Canvey Island – The Island Yacht Club Canvey TT - A Fairy story come true As the majority of the fleet made it‘s way to the Island Yacht Club on Canvey Island, few had little perception of what to expect and indeed for most, a visit to the birth place of the Shearwater at the G Prout and Sons works was their first visit to this Thames Estuary island. But immediately on arrival the warm greeting by club members, the smart, spacious club house was but a forerunner to the amazing show IYS were about to put on for the benefit of all visitors to their Cat Open. As tents were put up, vans and mobile homes arrived, boats were being rigged, the galley and bar were open and in a very short time the whole Club site became a hive of industry absolutely buzzing with enthusiasm. The only thing that seemed to be missing was the sea – we could see ships in the distance and Southend pier – but where was the wet stuff that we rely on ?!
The next morning our query was answered as the rising tide finally surmounted the mud flats and suddenly the sea shore took on a completely new appearance, but in view of the fairly early start of 11.45 AM there was little time for observation. After a hearty breakfast, courtesy of the Galley, boats were made ready for launching into the inshore shallows. Even at this point there was little in the way of wind and most boats were to be seen paddling out towards the start area. With three races scheduled for Saturday it was clear that the Race Officer was in for a difficult time – competitors included ! As the fleet made it‘s various ways up the first beat it became abundantly clear that there was no right or wrong way to go but simply to make the best of what ever bit of breeze came your way – even if it was in a totally different direction to other boats only a few metres away. But whilst continuously changing direction there was just enough wind to provide propulsion resulting in rapid changes in position throughout the fleet but at the gun it was Dion and Anna in Take Five taking line honours. To try to cope with the shifting conditions the Race Officer and his team made valiant efforts to reconfigure the course and off we went again but the inconsistency of the breeze remained. With only one lap of the windward/leeward course taking the best part of an hour for the leading boats the second race was concluded after only one lap but in this instance line honours were taken by Nick and Kerry in Cajensa et al after a fine display of tactical sailing. With available water time running out the RO wisely decided to delay Race Three until the next day and the fleet headed
home mid afternoon for an early start on the evening‘s entertainment. Such was the generosity of the IYS that the entry fee, a modest £30 per boat, not only included a Hog Roast meal for both helm and crew – but a bottle of wine as well – and live entertainment throughout the evening. Even the young ones were well catered for throughout the weekend with a Bouncy Castle ! It can be well imagined that with excellent company and a fine meal it wasn‘t long before the Shearwater propensity for partying kicked in and a superb evening followed. Sunday dawned bright ,sunny – and a sea breeze ! The RO had declared his intention to try for three races whereupon Mother Nature responded accordingly by slowly building to a good F3 to F4 at times. What pleasure ensued – lively breeze, glorious sunshine and tight racing throughout the fleet. By now a group of boats hotly contesting the lead was developing with Cajensa et al, Sim Sek, Take 5 and Alley Cat all vying for pole position but with the likes of Ruby, UFO, Dilligaf, and Airflow snapping at their heels. All three races were completed in time to get back to shore while there was still water – and the promise of a free Bar-B-Q for all whist de-rigging and packing up. It was at Prize Giving that perhaps the greatest surprise was sprung on an unsuspecting fleet – particularly the Shearwaters on their first ever IYC TT meeting. As the top three boats were announced each helm and crew were handed a fine Gill rash vest bearing the names of the sponsors of the event – and to the helm a brown envelope marked simply with the boat‘s overall position. Expecting perhaps a photo of the boat in action or a free drink at the bar the writer‘s amazement on opening his envelope marked “ 1st “ can only be described as “ total disbelief “ at the sight of 5 crisp new £20 notes. Suspecting loss of the vital senses he enquired of Sim Sek ( 2nd ) and Carbon Footprint ( 3rd ) only to learn that their prizes were £50 and £25 respectively. You know, I suspect that IYC will be on next year‘s TT circuit. - Alan
Worthing Yacht Club Shearwater TT Worthing SC
Sept 10/11
I was amazed to see that 11 Shearwaters arrived at Worthing Sailing club from far and wide over the weekend of the 10th and 11th of September. This on the face of it doesn’t appear to be something to be amazed about, but, and it’s a big but. When you’re sailing Cats on the open ocean and you’ve been hearing all week that the tail end of a hurricane will be hitting the South coast at the same time as your sailing event the normal decision is to stay at home. The Shearwater fleet though is different. We have such a strong bond of friendship gained through sailing together over the years and its that which gives us the impetus to make the journey, hoping that we will get some sailing in but not minding too much if we didn’t sail at all. Worthing is a good club, from the moment we stepped into the bar and were asked “how much do you think we should charge for a pint of beer” I knew that we were in for a good weekend. Contrary to the doom and gloom being forecast by all and sundry the weather was almost perfect. We had a 2 -3 blowing from the S/W in good sunshine with three races scheduled back to back. As we were sharing the event with Dart 18’s it was decided that we would have a windward / leeward course on Saturday with triangles and sausages on the Sunday. Chris our race officer sorted the course quickly and we were away almost on time. This set the scene for a good day of racing. All three starts had a bit of port bias and three or four cats had a go with varying degrees of success. The windward mark was a long way off and the wind shifts made each beat interesting. Greg and Alex on Foreigner, deeply disappointed that it wasn’t blowing sailed really well all day as did Darren and Catherine on Shear flamboyance. Roger and Dion sailing on Ruby always a threat crept over the line.....just in front Nigel and Sandy on Simsek and Janet and Rob on Alley Cat. The second race again was very tight but Shaun and Claire on Carbon Footprint got away leaving Nick and Kerry on Cajensa and Grace and myself on UFO to swap places with Ruby, Alley cat and Simsek. As usual no place in a Shearwater race is given up easily and Barry and John on New Flame were fighting off Murray and Lou on Dilligaf (who by the way did not break anything) as well as Nick and Chris on Cosmic Shear. Carbon footprint won the last race of the day with the rest of the fleet swapping places at every opportunity. The club put on a fantastic spread for us all and dancing to live music finished off a very good day for both Shearwaters and Dart sailors alike. I woke on Sunday snuggled up in my campervan to the ominous boom of a large shore break and to the wind desperately trying to rip my drying wet suit from the line outside. I knew then that the racing would be binned and turned over for a bit of extra sleep. The racing was officially cancelled at 10am and we spent a nice morning packing away in very blustery conditions. Shaun and Claire won the event with Nigel and Sandy second and Janet and Rob third. - Del
Sec’s Soapbox Congratulations to Shaun & Claire on retaining the title of National Champions and to everyone who competed and supported to make it a fantastic week’s sailing and social event at Yaverland. The extended family supporters joining in made the Shearwater village truly memorable and the tribe of children seems to be growing rapidly. The success of the week was in no small way due to Catherine Howland’s efforts in organising us. At the AGM we voted for a new class of “Social Membership” at £5 per annum. This is intended for non sailors who support the class who will then be entitled to receive the magazine and to vote at the AGM. We have already signed up some social members so please contact me if you wish to join. We continue to offer Full membership for boat owners/ helms at £30 and Associate membership for crews at £15 per annum. Shaun Allen has resigned from the role of TT Coordinator & we thank him for years of hard work over many years in this role. This position was taken over by Del Williams at the AGM. We also voted in Murray Greenhill as Assistant TT Coordinator to support & learn from Del. Shaun has volunteered to be chief organiser of the National Championships from now on. On that point it was great to see Mark Norman and family at Yaverland. As the current Commodore he extended an invite to Stokes Bay SC as a possible venue for our Nationals next year. Maybe Mark will build a boat to compete himself and attempt to become National Champion again! The TT’s have been well supported & new venues at Canvey Island & Worthing have added new interest. We welcome new boys, Nick, Dan & Chris who joined with Sheargar for the Canvey TT meeting only for it to sink at Yaverland. They then appeared at Worthing with the old Simsek. It was fantastic to see their enthusiasm and also how several Mr Fixits of the fleet set about making both these boats ready to sail. This epitomises the spirit of our Class. There are various rumours of others buying boats to join in so the future is looking very optimistic. Anyone thinking of buying or selling a boat should contact Dion Allen who will offer knowledgeable advice. Finally a big thank you to Malcolm Greenhill for producing this magazine and taking all those great pics. See you all at Stone for the final TT meeting of the year and may we all get the wind we pray for! - Roger
We must beware of trying to build a society in which nobody counts for anything except a politician or an official, a society where enterprise gains no reward and thrift no privileges Winston Churchill
Vegetarian - an old Indian word meaning “lousy hunter.”
Hastings Sorry everybody, No write-up, just a few photos. Alan won, commiserations to the rest.
I found this start interesting The first shall be last and the last???
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive again. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
The Parrot
A
young man named John received a parrot as a Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.
Fearing that he’d killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly and said, “May I ask what did the turkey do wrong?”
Try this:Carefully follow the instructions below and I will read your mind and tell you your answer: * Think of a number between 2 and 9 * Multiply the number by 9 * Add the two digits together * Subtract 5 from the number you now have * Convert the number into a letter 1=a 2=b 3=c etc * Think of a European or Scandinavian Country starting with that letter * Now think of the second letter of that country * Think of an animal that starts with that letter (This must be an animal - not a bird) * What colour is your animal? * Now concentrate carefully on your answers * Check over the page to see if I have read your mind
Arthur is 90 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 30 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. ‘That’s it,’ he tells his wife, ‘I’m giving up golf. My eyesight is so bad ... Once I hit the ball, I can’t see where it went.’ His wife sympathizes, and as they sit down, she says, ‘Why don’t you take my brother with you, and give it one more try?’ ‘That’s no good,’ sighs Arthur... ‘Your brother is ninety five. He can’t help. ‘He may be ninety five’, says the wife, ‘but his eyesight is perfect.’ So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.. He tees up, takes a mighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. ‘Did you see the ball?’ ‘Of course I did!’ says the brother-in- law. ‘I have perfect eyesight.’ ‘Where did it go?’ asks Arthur. ‘I can’t remember.’
Three out of the top five in the Shearwater Nationals used Suffolk Sails spinnakers.
Congratulations to Shaun and Clare Answer: You are thinking of a grey elephant from Denmark.