DEAR ABBY Jeanne Phillips because I have the freedom to do much of my work from home, which allows me to help my wife and have income as well. If we move, there would be no guarantee I could find a similar work situation that is so beneficial. My wife says I’m being selfish because I’m unwilling to leave my job, family and friends to do as she wants. I understand her desire to live in a warmer climate, but I think she’s the one who is being selfish. What do
you think? – Wants To Stay Put Dear Wants To Stay Put: I think the winter in the Midwest was brutal this year, and now the spring rains have arrived, which also are depressing. But in a short time the flowers will bloom and the warmth of summer and autumn will last for the next half-year. Why not take a vacation (or leave) from your job for the next three or four weeks? If you telecommute, you still could get some work done and let your wife have her dose of sunshine. Surely someone can check on your parent and keep you informed about your sibling for that short time.
Bell’s palsy symptoms are frightening, but treatable Dear Dr. K : I went to my doctor with some alarming symptoms and he diagnosed me with Bell’s palsy. I don’t know anything about this condition. Dear Reader : Bell’s palsy, named after the person who first reported it in the medical journals, Charles Bell, is a weakness of the muscles on one side of the face. All muscles in your body take their orders from nerves leading to them. When you think of muscles, you probably think of the big, bulky muscles in your arms and legs. But there are small muscles in your face as well. There are two main nerves leading to the facial muscles, one on each side of your face. (Smaller branches of the facial nerves go to the tongue and ear.) Bell’s palsy occurs when a facial nerve (usually just one of the two) becomes inflamed and swollen and stops sending signals to muscles in your face. (I’ve put an illustration that shows an inflamed facial nerve, as happens in Bell’s palsy, on my website, www.askdoctork.com.) Your early symptoms
ASK DR. K Dr. Anthony Komaroff might have included changed sensation in part of your face, pain in or around your ear, change in hearing and impaired taste. As the condition progressed, you might have had trouble closing your mouth or one eye. Perhaps you were unable to hold food in your mouth, or your eyes made more tears than usual (or made none, causing the eye to become dry and gritty). Researchers suspect the nerve inflammation that causes Bell’s palsy often is triggered by an infection with a virus, such as herpes simplex. That’s the same virus that causes cold sores. Some of the other members of the herpes virus family also might be responsible. If your symptoms are very mild, you might not need treatment. Otherwise, doctors usually prescribe a corticosteroid called prednisone. Prednisone reduces inflammation and swelling in the affected facial nerve
and decreases pain. Some doctors prescribe a combination of prednisone and an antiviral drug that acts against the herpes virus. If Bell’s palsy is making it difficult to close your eyes or to make tears, your cornea can become dry and get scratched. (Your cornea is the curved, transparent dome at the front of your eye.) To prevent this, you must protect your eyes from wind and dust by wearing glasses. You will need to keep your eyes moist with artificial tears during the day and by lubricating your eyes at night with a sterile eye ointment. The doctor might suggest you wear an eye patch to keep the eye closed. The symptoms of Bell’s palsy can be frightening, but in most people, symptoms start to improve by two weeks. Most people are back to normal by six months. • Write to Dr. Komaroff at www.askdoctork.com or Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115 .
I do not recommend moving anywhere permanently because there’s no guarantee you’d find a job that compensates you as well as the one you have, and you might need the income. Dear Abby: A tall, attractive man came into the insurance office where I work to buy an auto insurance policy. I haven’t talked with men outside of my church in a long time, so I was nervous. I thought my heart would explode from beating so fast. He will be coming back in a couple of weeks, and I’m afraid if I don’t ask him out, I will regret it. I don’t know how to approach him or ask a guy
out at all. Help! – Nervous Out West Dear Nervous: The man might be married, so take it slowly. If he comes in before noon, casually mention there’s a restaurant not far away that serves good food, and offer to show him. If he comes in later, use the old “want to grab a cup of coffee?” gambit. Either of these will give you a chance to talk with him and find out more about him without being overly obvious. • Write Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 .
• Monday, May 12, 2014
Dear Abby: I have been married for 18 years to a wonderful woman who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a few years ago. We don’t know how much time she has left, but she feels the cancer has robbed her of her “retirement.” She is trying to persuade our family to move to Florida so she can enjoy some warm weather. Abby, for many reasons I do not want to move. We have lived in the Midwest all our lives. My elderly parent would be all alone if we move, and I have a sibling who also is terminally ill. I have had the same job for 25 years, and I don’t want to give it up
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Forecast is cloudy for man whose wife seeks the sun