Sharp Women Heartland | June 2021 by SharpWomen

COVER PAGE

COVER PHOTO CREDITS: JOANNA WHYTE PHOTOGRAPHY

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SHARPWOMEN

RANCHELLE VAN BRYCE co-founder

DANIELLE KLOOSTER co-founder

TEAM

CARLA HOWATT editor in chief

KELSEY EVANS administrative coordinator

RACHELLE SCRASE director of photography

THIS MONTH’S

GUEST CONTRIBUTORS

GRACE WONG business

LYNN GAGNE finance

BREANNA PHIPPS health & wellness

JENNIE WARD personal growth

GABRIELLE BATTISTE leadership

MONIQUE MACDONALD food

ERIN MCCORMACK relationships

KATHERINE LORANGER professional development

MANDY EVE-BARNETT spirituality & non profit

WANDA ROGERS young entrepreneur

letter from the editor

LEARNING FROM WOMEN JUNE 2021

There was once a time when I thought that at some point, I would know it. You know, IT. I would know how to fix the problems that plagued me, I would know how to handle my life, my career and my relationships. Yeah, I was silly like that. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t know very much. As the years go by, I become more and more grateful for the people in my life who encourage and support me and let me learn from them. And I do have a lot to learn. The really cool part of this, is that they are learning from me too. You see, none of us know it all. If we did, we would probably be insufferable! Part of really maturing is learning to realize that and look for and accept the help of those around you. For me it has meant strong women, compassionate friends and an incredibly kind husband. My latest learning has been around joy. I realized that joy is not the same as happiness. It isn’t just intense happiness it is something more. I had a sense that it involved peace, but past that, I wasn’t really sure how to define peace. It was only in the last month or so that I have noticed something important about joy. It is almost always entwined with gratitude. In fact, I would go so far as to say you can’t have joy without gratitude. Try it someday. Try to feel genuinely grateful and see if joy doesn’t come automatically. This revelation has been quite inspirational for me as I now understand and can truly appreciate the role of gratitude in my daily routine. We’ve all been told we should keep a gratitude journal or practice gratitude every day. While I’ve thought it was a valuable habit to get into, I didn’t truly understand what it could do for me. As someone who has the word ‘Joy’ show up in my purpose and being statements, that is a huge discovery! Now I know that joy is accessible and at my fingertips simply by practicing gratitude. How easy is that? Of course, I couldn’t talk about gratitude without mentioning the writers and the women who are represented in this issue of Sharp Women Heartland. Whether it is Grace Wong from Apex sharing her expertise on backing up the data on our phone to Dr. Ward explaining how we can re-wire our brains. We learn from Natasha at Wickd Petals, legacy building from Erin McCormack and all about leadership from municipal candidate Gabrielle Battiste. And this month we have Breanna Phipps share about her journey from a cult to deconstructing and rebuilding herself and Katherine Loranger talking about the value of pausing. I hope you get as much out of this issue as I did and can count yourself grateful for their wisdom! Carla Howatt Editor-in-Chief

This Month’s Articles 6 A DATE WITH DANIELLE THE 4 M’S OF COMMUNICATION 8 FROM THE CEO RANCHELLE IN THE RAW 12 FINANCE 10 ESSENTIAL STEPS WHEN STARTING YOUR OWN BUSINESS 14 BUSINESS BACKING UP YOUR MOBILE PHONE 18 FEATURE HOW DO I COOK THIS TURKEY? 22 PERSONAL GROWTH REWIRING YOUR BRAIN ONE CHOICE AT A TIME 24 YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR NATASHA MARTINEZ 28 RELATIONSHIPS LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE, AND WITH A PURPOSE 30 SPIRITUALITY FINDING YOUR CREATIVE SPIRITUALITY 32 LEADERSHIP YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN A BOY! 34 GREAT RESOURCES 36 PROFFESIONAL DEVELOPMENT THE POWER OF THE PAUSE 38 NON PROFIT THE WRITERS FOUNDATION OF STRATHCONA COUNTY 40 HEALTH AND WELLNESS FINALLY FREE 42 FOOD HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR STEAK PREPARED? 44 PRINTABLES 48 BUSINESS DIRECTORY

a date with danielle

T H E 4 M ’S O F CO M M U N I CAT I O N by Danielle Klooster

As regular readers and members of the Sharp Women community will know, we had our flagship annual event in May, The SHARP Event. I can’t even begin to express how over-the-moon delighted and proud my cofounder Ranchelle and I are with how it all went. With several COVID-related pivots (COVITS?) to walk through, going from an in-person event to a hybrid in-person/ livestream to a complete livestream/online event, the team’s agility and commitment to putting on a stellar experience really shone through. Our gratitude knows no bounds.

Learning to Communicate Of course, there are always take-aways that we can use to learn and improve, and, for me, one key point was communication. Don’t get me wrong – I think the internal and external communications were fantastic. The team did everything in their power to think about who needed to know what, when, how and why. And, furthermore, in my years as both a consultant and leader in various organizations, whenever it comes time to sit down and talk about strategic planning and goal setting, without exception, the topic of communication comes up. It’s just one of those things that we all know needs to be front and center in our minds and that we can always do more and better.

The 4 Ms I am reminded of an excellent communications training tool I received from The Tamarack Institute some years ago. I have used this tool over the years in my communications and always found it very helpful in achieving clarity.

Before you communicate, you communications using this process:

plan

out

your

Message: What do you want the audience to know? What action do they need to take, and by when? Member: Who is the target/audience for this communication? Method: What means are you using for this communication? There are different ways you need to communicate depending on the platform. Is it an email? An advertisement? A social post? A podcast? Moment: When is the best time to convey this message? Besides just thinking about how far in advance to communicate with people about an event or activity, you should be aware that people read their emails at a certain time of day, and the same goes for social media, etc.

Who Needs What, Packaged How, for What Purpose? Taking a little time to plan out your communications can reduce misunderstandings, improve engagement, and go a long way to ensuring that your messages are clear and well-received. I like to sit back and ask myself the question: who needs what, packaged how, for what purpose? I’m interested to hear from you about communications tools and processes that you find effective in your business or work. Message me – bonus points if you use the 4 Ms!

from the CEO

I FAILED! So, I did this thing starting in the first week of May. I decided to join something called 75 Hard. Andy Frisella, author and podcast host wrote the book 75 Hard, and when you go to his website this is what you will see:

THIS IS NOT A FITNESS PROGRAM 75 HARD IS A TRANSFORMATIVE MENTAL TOUGHNESS PROGRAM I saw those words and I got scared. I mean, shake-in-my-boots, how-can-I-do-this-fear. I have learned when I feel afraid to ask myself a few questions. Here they are:

Is this fear you are feeling or another emotion like excitement, anticipation, anxiousness, uncertainty, trepidation? If it’s a lower density type of energy like fear, anxiousness, etc, I ask myself:

What else is possible? What is the TRUTH in this? You see, very rarely do I ask myself WHY? I believe that “why” is a strange question. Our brains are wired to answer questions, and so when I ask myself why, I come up with all the reasons why I suck, not all the reasons why I can do something. As I started to unpack what I was feeling and what my beliefs were, I decided that I needed to do this challenge. Let me share the challenge with you.

Here are the rules of 75 HARD: 1. 2 x 45 minute workouts a day, every day. One MUST

5. Read 10 pages of non-fiction daily.

be outside and they can’t be done at the same

6. One progress picture taken daily.

time.

7. One gallon of water each day.

2. No alcohol.

8. If you don’t do the steps, you FAILED and you

3. No sugar.

start the next day, from the beginning.

4. Some sort of program where you are aware of what you are eating. Andy suggests counting macros. I recognized that voice inside of me right away. That voice is the smaller version of me. That voice is my “reasoning” and”logical” voice. That is the voice of limitations. That is the voice that wants me to stop. That’s the voice that wants me to remain small.

That’s the voice that wants to ensure that I don’t speak my truth. The truth is that she is always there with me. However, so is the stronger version of me. And her voice is louder now.

The voice that says: Of course you can do this. No thing and nothing can stand in the way once you commit. The voice that says, “a belief is just a decision”. The voice that says, “you have overcome so much in your life, this can happen”. The voice that says, “don’t try it, DO IT”. The voice that says, ‘failure is part of success”. Don’t avoid failure, embrace it.

The voice of TRUTH. So, I made the decision to start the challenge before the Sharp Women Event. I figured, if I could do this leading up to the event, I could do anything. I spent a few days prepping for it. I listened to Andy’s podcast, I joined the Facebook Group, and I made a grocery list. I also told Rob what I was doing so that I could have his support (he loves surprising me with my favourite foods). I also bought a huge water bottle, decided what supplements I would need, and then pulled the trigger. And here is what happened days before the Sharp Women Event... Part of the rules is to take a progress picture. Something so small, right? How hard is it to take a picture? The app even sends you a reminder. Guess what!? I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE! I was on Day 10 and I forgot the picture! I couldn’t believe it. I cried, but not for the reasons you may think. On the app, when you don’t follow one of the rules, you have to hit the button that says “I FAILED”. This is when I cried. I cried because I didn’t want to hit the button. I cried because I was resistant to being honest with myself. I cried because how many times have I said I was going to do something, and something ‘came up’ and I made some sorry excuse and didn’t do it. I cried because I realized how I allowed my limiting beliefs to stop me from what I want. Then, I cried ugly/happy tears because I realized that I am progressing in my spiritual practice. That I am ready to fail, ready to try new things that scare me, ready to be all that I want, ready to have it all. Ready! So, I took a deep breath and made a new plan to start again. On May 17th. I started my 75 Hard challenge again. I added some new strategies because I discovered that it is the little things that make all of the difference. That each little thing adds up to a big thing.

Already this challenge has brought to me what was promised on Frisella’s website: 75 HARD IS A TRANSFORMATIVE MENTAL TOUGHNESS PROGRAM and I was reminded that how I do one thing, is how I do everything. At the time of this writing I am on round 2, day 4. Each day I have to talk myself into keeping my commitments. Each day I remind myself of why I want to do this and what the benefits are for me. The most important step that I have noticed is that each day, I RECOMMIT! I have my ah-ha moment; for me committing is making the decision daily. Who do I need to BE in order to live the life that I desire? Stay in the raw ladies, because this is where it gets real.

Ranchelle Ranchelle@SharpWomen.ca *Be BIG *Be BOLD *Be BEAUTIFUL.

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finance

10 ES S EN T I A L S T EP S W H EN S TA RT I N G YO U R B U S I N ES S b y Ly n n G a g n e

One of my favorite things about teaching business to university students is hearing about their ideas. It’s why my business – my passion – is about helping small, local business owners succeed, from building the foundation to growing success years into their business. As a certified professional bookkeeper, I built a successful bookkeeping firm from just myself to over 15 employees. I know exactly what it’s like to start from nothing and maintain a profitable business. I’ll admit, in the beginning there was a lot I was too embarrassed to ask other business owners. When I finally found out the answers, I was then a little mad. My accountant didn’t tell me what valuable write-offs I was missing. The registries office didn’t educate me what would happen when I incorporated incorrectly. My lawyer made no apologies for charging me money to fix the contracts that I did wrong when I tried to do my own to save money. It was frustrating. And expensive. At this stage of my career, I spend most of my energy coaching other business owners and helping them see the flags that they should be aware of. This is my top 10 things that you should consider when you start your business. 1. Decide on your business type. Will you be a sole proprietor, or incorporated? There are different tax rules, write off methods and implications, deciding on the route you take. There may potentially be a cost to switch types later. Taking the time to understand the correct business type for your needs is extremely important! Some people assume that going into business

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means a trip down to registries to incorporate. I literally cringe when I hear someone say “I went and incorporated my business!” knowing that they are better being a sole proprietor than incorporated. The minute you incorporate, you set yourself up for accounting and tax fees that are $2000+ per year. It’s an expensive jump from a sole proprietor, who would typically pay between $250 and $500. 2. Register your company properly (if you are incorporated). “Properly” depends on your industry. In some cases, you may need a lawyer to help with the registration process. Some people confuse registering a trade name with registering a business, when in fact, that’s a different step altogether. When you incorporate, your company will declare shares, ownership, and directors. Sometimes this can be a very important step, so make sure you understand it before you incorporate. 3. If you have a partner, do a USA. USA stands for Unanimous Partnership Agreement. Think of it as the business equivalent of a prenuptial agreement. You and your partner lay out what will happen in the event of this, that, or the other, how you will get paid, what each is responsible for, who is liable if this happens, what are the no-nos, and the like. Regardless of who your partner is, or partners, a USA is a must-do. Don’t even think twice about it. The only downside is in not having one – and we’re talking a possibly nightmarish legal downside. 4. Register a trade name. When you do a trade name, your company just has a “public name”

that people will know you. For example, my company is incorporated, but my trade name is Learn Bookkeeping Canada. You can have as many different trade names as you wish. 5. Open a business bank account. Keeping business and personal expenses separate seems like a nobrainer, but it’s often easier said than done. I dealt with mixed receipts from my bookkeeping clients all the time. It is more expensive for bookkeeping, it causes more chaos when it comes to tax time. And the worst, in my opinion, is if CRA audits you. It’s a nightmare when you have your business and personal income and expenses in one bank account. 6. Designate a personal credit card for business use only and keep it that way. Typically, a bank is unlikely to approve you for a business credit card for two years. If you have very good personal credit, your bank may issue a business credit card sooner, securing your personal credit against it. Most business owners, whether incorporated or a sole proprietor, use a separate credit card in their name as their dedicated business card. Just like your bank account, keeping it separate is important! 7. Decide on invoicing software. Some that I lovelove-love: Freshbooks, Invoices to go, and 17Hats.

9. Doing the books yourself. I am the first person to say that a very small business (solopreneur) can do their own books. However, if you don’t take the time to get some education, then this one is a hard pass. I have dozens of case studies where a customer did their own books and missed out on very important pieces of information, making it so that they either paid more taxes or they didn’t get as large a refund. If you do the books yourself and you don’t get education on the “how”, I guarantee you are doing it wrong. Make sure you get some good advice or education on how to do your own books. A word of caution: don’t wait for tax time to talk to a bookkeeper. 10. Stay organized, especially with receipts. There is nothing costlier, from the bookkeeper’s perspective, than a client who comes in disorganized. It will cost you more to have that mess of receipts sorted. If it’s tax season, you’re one of hundreds of clients and therefore, probably just another number. Your tax person will do their best to get you in order but expect more taxes and a higher bookkeeping bill. The more organized you are.....the smaller your tax bill will likely be.

I personally use 17Hats for my consulting. It also does contracts and quotes. In many cases, customers feel that their bookkeeping software is the same as their invoicing software. This is not the case! You don’t have to use your bookkeeping software the same as your invoicing software. In fact, in some cases, your bookkeeper may prefer that you don’t do that. Have a chat with your bookkeeper and make some good decisions about the software you use. 8. Don’t be an ostrich Many think that the bookkeeping and taxes are an “end of the year” task. Not so! There is so much to learn and doing it during tax season is the worst time to do it. There are three basic rules to saving money throughout the year. a) Save your receipts b) Do your bookkeeping every month c) Review your money. Putting your head in the sand doesn’t make it go away, but it will almost always make it worse.

Lynn of BWize Consulting & Training is a certified professional bookkeeper who spent more than 30 years running different businesses, including owning a professional bookkeeping firm with more than 300 clients over a period of ten years. She built her company around providing tools to small business owners so they can keep more money in their pocket.

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business

BACKING UP YOUR MOBILE PHONE by Grace Wong

I’ve fixed my fair share of phones over the years and if there’s one thing I’ve noticed is that people don’t tend to back up their devices and regret it greatly when their phone craps out. I’ve received more calls than I can count from people frantic to get the photos of their kids or their parents or their pets off their device after it dies or a passcode is forgotten. A lot it has to do with the fact that we simply don’t think about it – it’ll never happen to me. Unfortunately, it can and does happen at the least opportune times, so I’m here to explain how to back up your phone and hopefully if anything untoward ever happens, you’re covered.

IPhone There are two ways to back up an iPhone: a. using iCloud. That means needing to purchase additional space from Apple. The larger the storage in your phone, the more space you need to purchase. b. using iTunes. That means remembering to plug your phone into your Mac or Windows computer on a daily or weekly basis. c. use third party cloud storage solutions such as Dropbox or One Drive if you’ve already got them in your arsenal.

ICloud Backing up to iCloud is a fairly simple process: 1. Go to Settings > [your name] > iCloud > iCloud Backup. 2. Turn on iCloud Backup. iCloud automatically backs up your iPhone daily when iPhone is connected to power, locked, and on Wi-Fi. 3. To perform a manual backup, tap Back Up Now. To view your iCloud backups, go to Settings > [your name] > iCloud > Manage Storage > Backups. To delete a backup, choose a backup from the list, then tap Delete Backup.

ITunes Backing up using iTunes requires a little more equipment and hard drive space. Of course, one of the advantages of using iTunes is you can choose to store backups over a certain amount of time so you can go back to backups from months previous. This is done as follows: 1. On a Windows computer, connect iPhone to your computer with a cable. 2. In the iTunes app on your PC, click the iPhone button near the top left of the iTunes window. 3. Click Summary. 4. Click Back Up Now (below Backups). 5. To encrypt your backups, select “Encrypt local backup,” type a password, then click Set Password To see the backups stored on your computer, choose Edit > Preferences, then click Devices. Encrypted backups have a lock icon in the list of backups. 1. On a Mac, connect your iPhone to your computer with a cable. 2. In the Finder sidebar on your Mac, select your iPhone. 3. At the top of the Finder window, click General. 4. Select “Back up all of the data on your iPhone to this Mac.” 5. To encrypt your backup data and protect it with a password, select “Encrypt local backup.” 6. Click Back Up Now.

10. Drag the most recent backup folder into your Dropbox window and wait for it to upload. For Mac: 1. Open Finder, and from the top menu bar, select Go With the Go drop-down menu open, hold down the Option key and you’ll notice a Library folder appear in the menu. 2. Open the Library folder and then click through the following folders: a. Application Support b. Mobile Sync c. Backup

Third Party If you’re already paying for a cloud storage solution such as Dropbox, you can back up your phone that way too, although it does require a bit more knowledge of file structure and such.

4. From here, the process is pretty much the same as on Windows. Locate your most recent backup folder, drag it into your Dropbox window, and wait for the upload to complete.

For Windows: 1. Open the Start menu and then open File Explorer 2. Click “This PC” from the left-side menu 3. Double-click on your computer’s hard drive, generally labeled “Local Disk (C:)” 4. Under “Show/hide” in the “View” tab at the top of the File Explorer window, tick the box for “Hidden items” 5. Open the “Users” folder within your hard drive’s folder. 6. You’ll see a list of users who have access to your computer. Select the folder for your account. If you haven’t set your own account name, this will likely be called “Admin” 7. In your user folder, you should see a folder called “app data.” Open that, then click through the following folders: a. Roaming b. Apple Computer c. Mobile Sync d. Backup 8. Once you’re in the “Backup” folder, make sure it’s arranged into chronological order, so that your most recent backup will be the first file on the list. 9. Open your Dropbox files either on your browser or via the Desktop client.

Google Drive is a cloud storage app, allowing you to keep all of your word documents, presentations, PDFs, and other file types safe and secure off of your phone’s local storage. 1. 2. 3. 4.

Open Google Drive on your phone. Tap the + icon in the bottom-right corner. Tap Upload. Select the files you want to upload.

All Google Drive users get 15GB of free storage to use right out of the gate, but if you need more, you’ll need to pay a monthly fee. Extra Drive storage is sold through Google One, with plans starting at $1.99/month for 100GB. There are a bunch of tiers offered, including 200GB, 2TB, 10TB, 20TB, and even 30TB.

Backing Up Text Messages

Android Even though Android is an open-source operating system, the version of Android found on mobile phones is commercially sponsored by Google. As such, the software suite used for backups primarily consists of Google Photo, Google Drive, SMS Backup & Restore and Google Contacts and are all cloud based, these can all be downloaded for free from the Google Play Store. Backing Up Photos: 1. Open Google Photos. 2. Sign into your Google account. 3. Choose your desired quality settings. 4. Wait for your photos to sync. While Google Photos is free to use, unlimited free backups of pictures are saved in what Google calls “high quality.” This is a lower-resolution file of your photos, and while they’ll still look good, won’t be quite as sharp as the original file. If you want to back up your pictures in their full original resolution, this will count against your overall Google One storage space (see more below).

Backing Up Files Okay, so you’ve got your pictures backed up, but what about all of your other files? That’s where Google Drive comes into play.

If you use a messaging app like Facebook Messenger or Telegram, accessing your messages on your new phone is as easy as logging into your account. However, if you still rely on good old-fashioned SMS text messaging, things are a bit more complicated. You’ll need to download an SMS backup app from the Play Store to save a backup of all your texts. I recommend the free app SMS Backup & Restore. 1. Open SMS Backup & Restore on your phone. 2. Tap Get Started. 3. Tap Set Up a Backup. From here, you can backup not just text messages, but any phone call history you have, too.

Backing Up Contacts Something else you’ll want to make sure is backed up is all of your contacts. For this, I recommend using Google Contacts. Devices like the Google Pixel 5 and the Motorola Moto G Power come with Google Contacts pre-installed, but if you have a phone from OnePlus, Samsung, or LG, chances are you’re using a contacts app made by that manufacturer. Download Google Contacts, log into your Google account and all of your contacts will be synced automatically. If you need to dig a bit deeper, Google Contacts also offers tools for importing, exporting, and restoring contact files. 1. Open Google Contacts on your phone. 2. Tap the menu button at the top-left. 3. Tap Settings.

From here, you can import a .vcf file, export contacts from Samsung Phones a Google account and restore contacts you’ve saved to The Samsung Smart Switch app is designed for your account. transferring data from an old phone to a new one more than as a backup app but is still worth using if you Backing Up Apps have a Samsung phone. Moving right along, you’ll also want to make sure all of your applications are backed up. Smart Switch can be used to transfer just about everything, including: Backing up apps used to be a pain in the butt, but these days, Google keeps an automatic backup for you on your • Call history account. As such, downloading your apps and all of their • Contacts data is as easy as diving into the settings on your phone, • Calendar data making sure the toggle is turned on and selecting the • Text messages backup option. • Images, media, and other files 1. Open Settings on your phone. 2. Tap System. 3. Tap Backup.

Getting started with Smart Switch on your old phone is pretty simple. After downloading the app from the Play Store, follow the following on-screen prompts: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Open Smart Switch on your old phone. Tap Agree. Tap Allow. Tap Let’s Go. Tap Cable or Wireless depending on which method you want to use. 6. Open Smart Switch on your new phone and follow these same prompts. 7. Start the transfer. Probably the most intimidating part about backing up your phone is how complicated it all seems, but with the proper instructions it can be done fairly painlessly and once done, you’ll feel so much better, knowing that your data is safe and sound.

With 23-years-experience in computer and mobile device repairs, Grace Wong has owned Apex Computer & Mobile Repairs for five years. She lives and works in Sherwood Park with her husband and 16-yearold son who she adores to the moon and back.

feature

HOW DO I COOK THIS TURKEY? by Carla Howatt

Tamara Dabels is a gypsy with a homebody’s heart. While she moved around a lot for the first part of her life, she is emphatic that Fort Saskatchewan is home for her. Her father was in the navy, then moved to Winnipeg and joined CNR, then Saskatoon and when Tamara was 20 years old, she moved to Alberta. It was when she moved to the Fort when her youngest was nine months old that she knew she was going to settle down in one place. The very first time she was visiting friends in the Fort, she went to the Santa Clause Parade and she was amazed at how people took care of each other. The atmosphere of the families and their support was incredible. When her son became upset at the first screech of the fire truck, those around them tried to distract him and reassure them that it was okay. Tamara took on the role of executive director at the Fort Saskatchewan Chamber of Commerce in 2017 and she now considers it her dream job. It is the fact that she is able to serve her community, the business owners in the city and as a result, the residents that makes working at the Chamber a perfect fit for her.

Road Less Travelled It might surprise people to discover that she wasn’t even considering the Chamber back in 2017. In fact, she had given serious consideration to running for municipal office in Fort Saskatchewan. After attending the campaign college though, she realized it wasn’t quite the fit she had thought it might be. Then, the position of executive director came up and she jumped at the opportunity.

Of course, even though it is her dream job, her role at the Chamber does come with its own sets of challenges. The hardest challenge is when Tamara can’t help those who come to her. In particular, there has been a steep learning curve during the pandemic. People come to the Chamber with all kinds of questions about things like the new health regulations and potential COVID grants. The Chamber is often learning about these very things at the same time as the government is making announcements. In addition to the steep learning curve, the devastation the pandemic has wrought on small business is particularly difficult for Tamara “Sometimes, all I can do is listen and be a shoulder,” Tamara explains. “It’s so hard when there’s nothing I can do.” When people approach the Chamber, they are looking for answers and not having those answers or the solutions to their problems can be very heartbreaking for Tamara.

Lisette, Bryce Adams and family.

Chambers are a resource, and they get questions about many things, ranging from seniors housing or the name of the business that burned down 15 years ago. Sometimes though, the Chamber will receive a particularly interesting or amusing question such as

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the time someone called up and asked for information on how to cook their turkey.

Limiting Beliefs Tamara is quick to point out that she struggles on an almost daily basis with her confidence and imposter syndrome. In fact, an upcoming conference that the Fort Saskatchewan Chamber is hosting on June 24th came out of a recognition that we need to be able to use our voice, be kind to ourselves and one another and sometimes that voice just needs to take a long walk off a short pier. We can either let those voices defeat us, or as Tamara points out, we can let those voices push us. Not the negative nasty voices, but the ones that help us recognize what we need. When her imposter syndrome kicks in and she is in a position of not having the skills or knowledge she needs, she will either find someone who can teach her what she needs to know, or she will find an expert to do it. She knows that not being an expert is hard, but that it isn’t possible to be an expert at everything and the lesson to learn is to know when to admit it and get help. The Chambers are there not to be the experts in everything but to know who to put people in touch with who are the experts. “Somewhere along the way this year, I forgot that.’ Tamara reflects. “I thought I was supposed to be the expert. And that is an unrealistic expectation that caused me to “should” all over myself.”

Those little voices can be persistent. They can be inside voices or outside. Fortunately, as the years go by the voices seem to become a bit quieter. The lessons in business and life that she has learned have come from a life of serving. She spent the time she was home with her two children Logan and Samantha, serving on non-profit boards and then went on to work for primarily non-profits such as an Edmonton inner city housing society and St. Michael Health Group.

“I value kindness almost above everything else” Life’s Purpose

Tamara wasn’t sure as she was growing up what she wanted to do for a career, but she is clear on her purpose. “I know that I’m here to serve. I’ve been a volunteer, or a caregiver my whole life but what that will look like when I grow up? I’ll let you know when I get there.” Tamara says with a chuckle.

As for what she would tell her 20-year-old self if she could right now? She says she wouldn’t tell her anything, but she would learn from that younger self. She would let her remind her that today she is limited by her own expectations. She would remind herself just how awesome and confident she was then and try to be that way again. “I left Saskatchewan to move to Alberta with $100 in my pocket,” she says. “Within five weeks I was moving out of my aunt’s house, it never occurred to me that it wouldn’t work out just that way.”

In order to keep herself mentally and emotionally healthy, she is careful who she allows into her circle. “I have this amazing group around me that are all cheerleaders for each other, but we also laugh and have fun,” Tamara says. “I grow from the people I have around me.”

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personal growth

REWIRING YOUR BRAIN ONE CHOICE AT A TIME b y D r. J e n n i e W a r d

The amount of stress in the world has increased dramatically in the past year. COVID-19 has disrupted our ability to connect with others, our ways of unwinding and releasing stress, our financial security and safety around our health. Our bodies and our minds could benefit from a little TLC right now. One way of supporting yourself is to learn more about your nervous system and how it responds to stress. Based on polyvagal theory, there are three states of our nervous system that can help us understand the impact of COVID-19 and other stress.

Nervous System States The sympathetic state is when we’re in fight or flight mode. We feel overly anxious and have too much adrenaline and cortisol coursing through our body. In this state, most things seem like a threat. COVID-19 has resulted in many of us being in this state far too often. Thoughts like “they should be wearing a mask” or “the government is failing us” or “why are they travelling?” can all get our sympathetic state activated. The dorsal vagal state is where we’re feeling frozen, numb, collapsed or exhausted. It can feel like there’s just not enough energy to power you through the day. This can go along with a sense of sadness or a “blank” feeling. Often, we get into the dorsal vagal when we’ve maxed

out on the sympathetic state. Have you experienced this during COVID-19? Most people have been in the dorsal state more than usual. The ventral vagal state is when we feel secure, comfortable and content. When we’re in our ventral state, we feel connected to those around us and have a sense of safety that allows us to move through our life easily. . Ultimately, we want to train our body and mind to “find our way home” to ventral vagal.

The Way Home It’s important to recognize, however, that it’s not realistic or even desirable to be in ventral all the time. We wouldn’t want to feel relaxed and happy when there’s an emergency situation that you need to deal with right now, a tragic world event or when a loved one has died. It’s natural, and helpful, that we feel stressed, a surge of energy or a sensation of sadness and loss when these types of events occur. A wonderful life is characterized by a continual flow of ups and downs. If we never experienced sympathetic or dorsal vagal, we wouldn’t know the true joy of ventral. It would be like reading a book with absolutely no conflict or difficulty- where everything just works out again and again. It’s actually quite flat and boring.

We get into sympathetic and dorsal states when we perceive cues of danger and our nervous system has a natural response. In order to thrive and enjoy our lives, we can learn to increase cues of safety, which trains our nervous system to learn the route to ventral vagal. We do this by paying close attention to our responses. By learning what we love and what relaxes our bodies and minds and by honoring those desires. For instance, we were a family that ended up getting two COVID puppies. I can see that our puppies bring our children and my husband back to ventral every time. My husband could sit and cuddle the dogs for hours and every day he says some version of “aren’t they just the cutest?” Truly, nothing brings him more joy and it’s a great example of a path to ventral vagal. It’s helpful to become an observer of your responses and how you feel in all the situations in your life. Then, when you notice that you’re moving from sympathetic or dorsal into the desired ventral state, make a note of that and practice it in the future.

Think of your ventral state like a friendship, where you tend to that friendship with small gestures and choices that add up over time to become a great connection. We don’t just expect to do one thing together and then be best friends. We build and grow the relationship over many micro moments. When we choose the steps that turn us toward the ventral vagal state, it builds neural pathways in the brain that eventually become a more natural response for us. It’s an ongoing flow in which we befriend our nervous system and honour our true desires. Give some thought to what types of activities and experiences move you into the three states of your nervous system. Then do what you can to use that knowledge to gradually build up your path to ventral vagal. View it as a continual process and not as a “one and done” and your life will improve, one choice at a time.

Social Media One thing I notice is that too much social media time can get me into sympathetic or dorsal, depending on what I see or read on there. Sometimes it’s thoughts like, “everyone’s more successful or happy than me” that get me into a funk (more dorsal). Or sometimes it’s thoughts like, “my kids should be doing more of this or that” that get me feeling anxious (more sympathetic). Many of my clients are triggered into the sympathetic state by reading too much about COVID-19 on social media. Do you relate? By recognizing how social media impacts my nervous system, I can limit my time to only a few sessions per day and a maximum amount of time per session, allowing me to enjoy it a little, but not be as impacted emotionally by it. Can you think of an example in your life of something that pretty consistently gets you into sympathetic or dorsal? What do you think you can do to work on that?

Dr. Jennie Ward is a clinical psychologist and owner of Ward & Associates Psychological Services, a psychology clinic in Sherwood Park.

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young entrepreneur

NATASHA MARTINEZ By the Candle’s Light by Wanda Rogers

Natasha Martinez wanted to be a landscape architecture, working with plants and design. The office jobs, the 9-5, did not fulfill Natasha’s desire to be out with the flowers and interacting with people. Being behind the computer was not what she was looking for either. She was crafty and needed to fill her creative spirit, so she tried out candle making. She picked some flowers from the side of the road and using some used soy wax, she made her first candles. Initially, her candle making was for friends and family and for a creative release. Then in 2019, after attending a few farmer’s markets and getting orders from strangers, Wickd Petals Candle Company was born. Soy wax, fiber wicks, and phthalate and paraben free, all flowers are locally grown and dried. They look as good as they smell. Natasha rounded out her business, learning the ebb and flow of the candle seasons. Winter is when things are busy so this summer, she is working part time away from her business. October 2021 she is planning to go full time as the owner of Wickd Petals Candle Company. She has a website and is selling wholesale to some great stores in the Edmonton area, such as Freson Bros.

The Scent of Candles There are five scents that are year-round and then each season she has a feature scent. Wintertime it is pine, with local pine needles infused into the wax. Spring brings the blossoms with plum flowers and lilacs. Summer this year will be sweet pea and this fall Sunflowers will come to find their way into her products. All the flowers are sourced from local producers in the Edmonton area, or her own garden and Natasha dries them all herself. When people first meet Natasha, many comment on her age. “Oh, you’re so young!” Initially Natasha felt uncomfortable; She felt people would not take her seriously or treat her professionally because of her young age. Sometimes, when her mom joined her, people would mistake her mom as the owner. Her mom makes sure to step back and let Natasha shine. Now that some time has passed as a business owner, she takes the age comments as a compliment. She handily tells them that she has lots of room and time to grow her business!

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The Struggle is Real In the beginning, she struggled to figure everything out. She knew how to make candles, but how do you do bar codes for a store like Freson Bros? She quickly found that the solution was to build relationships with other business owners who could help her learn the tricks of the trade. A short while ago, she woke to an order from France. She was shocked; how did someone in France hear about her candle company? It turns out that the January issue of House and Garden UK magazine had featured her candle. She, of course, bought almost every copy available in Edmonton. The article brought customers from all over Europe. What has success meant for her in the business, is it sales, the ability to create? What stokes her fire to continue? Natasha has a long list as an answer to those questions. It is when her business grew to strangers buying her products and not just her friends and family. Or when the House and Garden UK featured her candles. Or when she sees her products being used and loved. Of course, it never gets old seeing her product shared organically on social media.

The Future Her five-year plan includes growing into a retail place, maybe space to do classes and workshops on making candles. For now, she knows that Christmas will be very busy and that she will be hustling to do most of her sales over the winter months.

She is also hoping to inspire young entrepreneurs to take their dreams and make them a viable business. To that end, in July she is speaking at a workshop for Young Entrepreneur Training Initiative. They hold a contest where students in the Parkland Region in Grades 10, 11, 12 can apply for a prize of up to $500 to help start or grow their own business. What will she tell those young entrepreneurs and anyone else? Take the leap. Jump in with all you have and do it. You will learn as you go, you will make mistakes, but it is so worth it. You will be proud of yourself for going for it.

Wanda Rogers has spent 11 years in Human Resources Management and now calls Airdrie home after many years in Northern Alberta. She lives with her two sons, crazy cat, Siberian Husky and ex husband with whom she cohabitats to raise their children and they all give her all she needs to write about.

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relationships

LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE, AND WITH A PURPOSE by Erin McCormack

The women who have come before us have shaped us into who we are today.

Princess Dianna, Laura Secord, Rosa Parks, Mother Teresa, Anne Frank, Hellen Keller, Anne Sullivan, Amelia Earhart, Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale, Jane Goodall, JK Rowling, Sojourner All women with a legacy intact for generations to come. Each wielding stories of empathy, bravery, compassion, and endurance. Every woman’s story, interestingly enough, cemented in time stemming from survival, passion, or morality. Legacy is a personal journey. The thought, reality, or weight of its meaning sprinkled through time during pinnacle moments in our lives. From the first time we ask the innocent question “Where do babies come from?” We have moments of wondering what our purpose is in this life.

Women’s History Unlike men throughout history, most women did not pursue the position of leaving a great legacy; the dream of our name going down in history. Women tend to, still today, be helpers. Helping our spouses through supporting their vocations, helping elderly family members, helping children rise up to be functioning members of society. Even “women’s” occupations historically have been helpers: secretary, switchboard operator, customer service, nurse. We have been designed to take on all the burdens of life and make

everything just work out by creating a flow or rhythm in our homes and at work. When looking at the legacies left to us from the women in our lives, they tend to be of recipes, life lessons, picture albums, and compassion. Many women find fulfillment of purpose in raising children and helping them leave their mark. Because of this, typically not falling into a type of midlife crisis, as many men do. Women who have left legacies that are remembered by the masses were all not your typical conforming woman. They endured resistance and they pushed harder. They had goals, needed to see change happen, and their morals or values of injustice were stronger than the potential consequences of their actions. They pushed the boundary of what was expected of them, and they persevered. We are eternally grateful to every single woman who has fought for injustice, whether they have their names recorded or not, as shining examples of the gumption we are all capable. However, legacy defined by the entire world knowing our name, is not an enthusiastic goal to every person.

We all have ambitions, passions, talents, and drive. There is something that makes us tick. Unfortunately, we sometimes get into the trap of doing so much for others that we lose that flicker of inspiration. Be encouraged to wake up early or not turn on the tv at night so to give ourselves the time we deserve to take to fuel our passion. Whether we have been meaning to write a book, write a song, paint, stretch, learn a language, volunteer, donate, or learn a new skill there is no better time than the present.

Our Legacy

We are not promised another day, month, or year. Our presence will make an impact and will be missed when we are gone. What that impact will be is directly affiliated with what we do, how we act, who we are, and what we stand for today.

We will all leave a legacy, whether it be positive or negative. It can also be both, depending on how we lived our lives and who we affected over the years. It is never too late to change the direction of our lives to include more impact to the community around us and the way people see our ambitions and intentions to help grow something bigger than ourselves. Seemingly small acts, such as; building a community center, volunteering to be a lunch monitor, connecting people with others, or giving our time at a shelter will not go down into the history books but will grow our impact. When we think about the advice we were given, the advice that we not only held onto that shaped our beliefs, but have shared that advice with others, the person who gave that advice has a legacy that has carried on through us. Whether or not people will remember the name of the person that originally coined that advice, lesson, or thought is of no consequence. Their words live on and continue to help people long after they have left the earth. This is the hope we all could have. Not just with our own children and sphere, but as big or as tightknit as we are willing to take it. They say that we are only typically remembered for two generations, but I would challenge that. True, two generations may only know a name and not specific stories, but the impacts we have made on the people around us get passed down as advice, or warnings, or motivational anecdotes. The women who have come before us have shaped us into who we are today. Even if we were molded by the worst mother, she showed us what not to do; still having a significant impact on who we are today.

Erin McCormack is an ambitious homeschooling mother of two children, business owner and enthusiastic supporter of UkiNor, a Digital Legacy Company. She is helping her team find ways to help people tell their stories for generations to come. Her ambition in life is to live on purpose, with a purpose along with her husband, family, friends, and community.

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spirituality

FINDING

YOUR

CREATIVE

SPIRITUALITY

by Mandy Eve-Barnett

Have you ever been so engrossed in a creative activity that time is inconsequential? I have and the more I do, the more I enjoy that interwoven harmony of creativity and spiritualty. When I write I become calm, centred, focused and relaxed. In essence my spirituality guides my creativity allowing me to create a physical form of my imagination. The link between my creativity and spirituality has always interwoven. Although, when I was younger I did not understand this connection. It is only as I have grown older, that I have discovered the calm focus I experience when creating, is akin to meditation.

Young Artist From early on, I was seen as ‘artsy’ making things from whatever materials were around me. It could be sticks and stones, leaves and flower petals, paper or card. I created collages with natural or man-made materials stuck together, stacked in 3-D form or mounted on cardboard. The act of creating something from nothing made me content. As an emerging teenager escaping younger siblings, I went to a place of peace and quiet, which allowed moments of reflection and curiosity. That place was a nearby walled graveyard. It may seem odd that I chose such a place, but the peaceful setting among the grave stones sitting on a moss covered mound underneath a weeping willow, refreshed my soul. I would read a book or just sit with my thoughts, enjoying the stillness

of the place and the birdsong around me. There were many beautifully carved and ornamental gravestones. I would read the newer inscriptions and after a time began to clean the older stones revealing the names, dates and inscriptions. This may not seem strictly creative but I thought of it as a caring ritual for those long passed. The process of carving out the moss, lichen and dirt accumulated over decades elicited a spiritual synthesis. Although, at the time I did not understand that was what was happening. At school, I was encouraged to explore my creativity with art in its multitude of forms by an excellent teacher. No matter how outlandish my idea, she would find a way to make it happen. From breaking clocks and watches for a moving my creativity and cog operated spirituality has wall hanging to obtaining the always interwoven large cork notice board from the school corridor for a large geometric design painted in black and white squares with paper-mache entrails at its center. Miss Randall made my creativity important. Having such a mentor meant I could create whatever my mind devised. I would never want art class to end and went to the art room every lunch time, where I felt euphoric. This was my creativity and spirituality fusing together.

An Emptiness Once I left school and went into the workplace and subsequently bore children, my creativity took a back seat. I dappled in knitting complicated patterns and sewing simple tops for a while but something was missing - that euphoric feeling was gone. I could not get lost in a project for hours on end, there were demands on my time and gradually creative pastimes ceased. I felt incomplete, although I was busy raising my children, working and maintaining a business and a home. The puzzle piece was elusive, I just didn’t feel right, there was an emptiness I could not fill. Emigration to Canada gave me a resolve to once again find a creative outlet. I grabbed leaflets for a variety of creative artistic courses, anything offered in my locality. I decided to try each one and find my creativity again. The first meeting I attended was for a writing group and, although until that time I had never explored writing in any depth, apart from a few short stories for my children, I decided to give it a try. After reading a short story and receiving a great reaction I was hooked. The spark was regained. The writing group members embraced and encouraged me and continue to do so. Through writing, I have once again found my creative spiritual harmony and feel alive – whole. Creativity is such a vital part of me. Through creating characters, worlds, and stories I am re-energized. It’s my ‘a-ha’ moment, my connection with my artistic soul - my happy place.

Mandy Eve-Barnett is a multi-genre author writing children’s, YA and adult books. With nine books published since 2011 and another five awaiting the editing process, she indulges her Muse in creative as well as freelance writing. Mandy speaks on a diverse number of writing related topics and is active in her local and provincial writing community. Learn more about Mandy at www.mandyevebarnett.com

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leadership

YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN A BOY! by Gabrielle Battiste

I’m half Italian and half Ukrainian and neither culture is known for encouraging feminism. Women bake bread and men work outside. But I was a tomboy when I was young. I wanted to play with cars, not barbies. I remember my dad making my sister and I a big dollhouse for our birthdays, which were close together, and it was the worst birthday of my life because I wanted a glow in the dark race track set. I immediately shaved all her dolls in retribution. I played chess and liked to compete – I didn’t sew and I didn’t care about dresses. My Ukrainian grandfather would regularly say to me, “You should’ve been a boy.” Don’t get me wrong – this wasn’t an insult. To him, this was one of the highest compliments he could give me. Back then, I only knew that I had to prove I was better than every boy in order to be able to do the things I wanted, like mowing the lawn and playing with cars. I had two brothers and they got to do the things I wanted to do without even trying. I would read the dictionary to learn the hardest words so I could outsmart my dad. I learned that the work my mom did in the house all day was not as valuable and was somehow…less. So wrong – on so many levels. Growing up, I was often told how pretty I was, but was incredibly uncomfortable hearing it. It actually became nauseating. To me, that meant people took me even less seriously – especially men. It was a way of passing judgment on my level of intelligence based on my looks. Eventually, I got comfortable wearing dresses and walking in stilettos, and learned to like the way I looked for me – but it took a long time.

Male Dominated Fields All my life, I’ve worked in male dominated fields – often the only female in a leadership role, or one of only a couple. I’ve put up with innuendo, outright sexism, being talked over or through, and any number of other overt or micro-aggressions. I’ve been Chief Privacy Officer, Chief Ombudsman, Chief Anti-Money Laundering Officer, Chief Complaints Officer, Chief Risk Officer and General Counsel. I’ve helped run $500M organizations and overseen staff of 1-1000. I’ve started organizations to help sex workers and to change the face of policing. I chair Autism Edmonton. Yet, I still don’t feel like I’ve accomplished enough. Throughout my life, I’ve experienced differing levels of hardship. I’ve been a janitor and sold fruit by the road to make ends meet. I’ve been largely a single parent to my 27-year-old son, who has survived cancer, lives with Type 1 Diabetes and is Autistic. I’ve survived sexual and physical assaults lasting well over a decade – usually while operating in high profile, high stress challenging roles of leadership and accountability.

What is Leadership? So…how does that translate into leadership? If I’m constantly questioning my own skills, abilities, experiences and overall competency, how can I effectively lead anyone? I can tell you that leadership is a process. It’s not a state of being at which you simply arrive one day. It’s a long litany of failures and finding the strength to move through the fallout. It’s about building reliance to every weird personal and business curve that life throws at you. It’s being able to adapt and re-build with focus. And most of all, it’s about having a sense of humour and staying hopeful in the face of overwhelming odds. All of which seems very personal and individualized; and not very outward focussed. However, in order to be a leader to others, you have to first model the behaviours that you want to see in others. As a result of my experiences, notwithstanding - and even in spite of - my technical skills, I bring empathy to leadership. Leading a team with empathy, curiosity and passion is far better than bringing a purely technical skill set to a role. Leadership is highly personal and should ignite passion in others to achieve more – to reach further – to make the world around them a better place. Leadership builds people up and teaches resilience. An individual’s life experiences are the building blocks of the kind of leader they will become. There is inherent value to every experience you have in life – no matter how difficult or how personal.

I am a leader. Not because I am a lawyer. Not because I’ve learned technical skills about people and process management. And definitely not because I can read a financial statement. I am a leader because I’ve re-built myself dozens of times. I’ve experienced depression and anxiety through the lens of laughter, silliness and hope. I’ve reached out to others to build them up because I know what it is to be brought low. I’ve worked tirelessly to make the best world possible for my son whose very existence has been dependent on my actions; and I therefore know the impact of my choices and actions on others who depend on me. Most of all, I know the inherent value of each individual’s life experiences – different in every case – and the building blocks of their own leadership skills. What makes a leader is coming to understand your own personal value – even if you sometimes question it. Everyone can be a leader – it’s just a matter of choosing what kind of leader you want to be and learning that you can provide value to others simply by being yourself.

Skills vs. Abilities Leadership skills can be learned – there are courses for that. Skills are technical things like ensuring regular performance reviews and feedback cycles; being transparent in decision-making; working collaboratively to build an effective reporting structure; being able to bridge the gap between strategy and implementation. Leadership abilities are personal attributes developed over time, through lifelong learning and experience. Abilities determine how you will use the skills that you are taught. Can you read people’s faces and body language to know when you need to change your approach? Are you intuitive and empathetic? Are you resilient and adaptable? Can you overcome failure and adversity?

Gabrielle Battiste has her own law firm and a consulting firm with her husband. She is an executive, leader and serial volunteer, currently running for City Council in Edmonton’s O-day’min Ward. Gabrielle is mom to the funniest 27-year old, cutest puppy and prettiest kitten and loves to laugh and stay silly.

great resources Crisis Contact Information Strathcona County - Are you stressed out by life? COVID? Your relationship? Unsure where to start? City of Fort Saskatchewan – Mental health and well-being are an important part of overall health. Mental health affects how we feel, think, and interact with the world around us. Everyone has mental health! FCSS offers short term, preventative mental health services that help to support individuals build resiliency and connect to community services. Crisis Association of Vegreville – Provides crisis intervention through 24 hour help line. Provides short term, safe and supportive environment for abused women and their children, women in crisis or other women needing accommodation. Provides clients with information about services available.

Taxes Strathcona County - Looking for some help with your taxes this year? You may qualify if you are a resident of Strathcona County.

COVID Business Supports Fort Saskatchewan – Resources such as how to calculate maximum occupancy, links to supports etc. Strathcona County – Links to grants, resources and COVID status Vegreville – download a business sign, find the latest updates and information. If you know of any resources available in your community that you think would benefit others, please drop us a line at carla@sharpwomen.ca.

professional development

THE POWER OF THE PAUSE

by Katherine Loranger

We all know what we “should” do, and even what we’d prefer to do, so then how is it that we have such a hard time doing those things and showing up for ourselves in the way we really want? The information is out there, and chances are we’ve done a course, read a book, listened to a podcast or watched a Youtube video that tells us exactly what to do. We get inspired, motivated and excited. We vow to just be better, to implement the “insert the whatever skill we wish we had” to do better. We tell ourselves that this is the time that it really sticks. Maybe we get a little bit of traction but then pretty soon we find ourselves reacting in the same old way. Once again, we’re beating ourselves up for how we yelled at our kids, snapped at our partner, eye-rolled at our coworker or how that bag of chips mysteriously ended up in our stomach. Those old habits of procrastination, taking on too much, putting our own needs last start to run our lives yet again. We feel defeated and demoralized. In those moments it can feel like we have no control, no choice as we find ourselves reacting in the same old way.

So, what’s a girl to do? I’d like to invite you to consider this story by Portia Nelson “I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. I walk down another street.”

As we find ourselves reacting in the same old way… The key here is that we’re finding ourselves reacting in the same old way. This is the good news! This means that we’ve got the awareness that this is a habit, a pattern, a reaction. This is where the power of the pause comes in. As we are finding ourselves reacting in the same old way, we can insert a pause and in that pause we have access to different choices, different options, different ways of responding. The power of the pause helps us to shift from the kneejerk reactions that we all have towards a more intentional and informed way of responding to what’s going on in our lives. In that pause we can then choose to implement all of the things we already know how to do. In that pause we can powerfully connect to the version of ourselves that we want to bring to the world. In that pause we get to decide.

Katherine specializes in helping heartcentered entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, business owners and dreamers build their dreams, accelerate their results and create richer, more fulfilling lives. She holds an M.Ed in Counselling, and is an NLP practitioner, and is certified as a life mastery consultant.

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non - profit

By Mandy Eve-Barnett The Writer’s Foundation of Strathcona County (WFSC) was formed by six members in 2001 and became incorporated in 2005. Throughout the 16 years of operation, the non-profit has maintained its mandate to provide support for writers any age, at any stage of their writing careers. This simple yet focused directive keeps the WFSC on track every year allowing the group to contribute back to the community whenever possible. Over the years, the group has introduced new and improved ways to connect with our local, and not so local, writing community. Membership fees are only $20 per year. Fundraising efforts organized by volunteers from the WFSC and sponsorship and/or grant monies are invested in programs and services open to not only our members but the community at large. We were honoured to receive the Pride of Strathcona Award in 2011, in celebration of our contributions to the community in the category of Arts, Culture & Heritage.

Writing Opportunities The WFSC proudly supports young writers by referring them to workshops and camps geared toward young writers. It is our intent to continue to encourage and support young writers with an eye to the future sustainability of the WFSC - today’s young writers are our leaders. We have held an annual writing contest (three years) for children from 4 to 12 years. It encourages youth to write and has been successful. In light of this the Foundation is publishing an anthology of the submitted stories.

Author Mandy Barnett and Glenda Sheard

Monthly Writing Circle sharing meetings are held the first Tuesday of the month – year-round – at the Sherwood Park library. In light of COVID, we have utilized virtual access for members and non-members to join these meetings. Information for all meetings can be obtained through social media, including our website and Facebook page. Membership is not required to attend. We welcome diverse writing styles and give constructive critique as well as exercises to flex our writing muscles with prompts, discussions on a variety of writing related subjects as well as giving members the opportunity to network. Registration is through our website. Our other monthly meeting is Poets in the Park, held on the third Wednesday of each month and is currently held online. It offers poets and anyone interested in this discipline to share their work, learn about the craft and network. To join the meeting, RSVP on the website calendar to register your attendance and a link will be emailed prior to the meeting. The Foundation also offers monthly creative writing workshops on the last Saturday of every month. These workshops cover a multitude of writing subjects and include writing exercises. Currently the meetings are online, and registration is through the website.

Yearly Events

Publications

Our Conference, which celebrated 16 years in 2021, allows WFSC members as well as anyone else interested in writing to learn from professional experts in an interactive and relaxed atmosphere. Each year a theme is chosen, and related workshops offered to enable writers the opportunity to gain insightful and informative knowledge to enhance their writing career in multiple disciplines.

The Foundation has also published several books with contributions of members.

The conference allows networking as well as providing information to writers through our connections to local and distant authors, our partnerships with other organizations, and our relationship with presenters and community sponsors. It also provides literary value to our members and the public, in general. Again, during COVID this event will be hosted virtually. We keep the costs of the conference to a minimum to enable as many writers to attend as possible. Our other annual event is Words in the Park, which has enjoyed success year after year. It attracts more than 35 authors per year to attend. The event has been situated in the Agora within the Strathcona County Community building for many years. In 2020, as we celebrated 14 years of the event, we hosted a series of virtual workshops and promoted local authors via our Facebook page.

1. Writing Prompt Journey – is a collection of writing prompts to inspire with member responses to those prompts. 2. Writing Prompts - The Journey Continues this next edition includes more writing prompts and inspiration. 3. From a Solitary Drop – celebrates the foundation’s 10-year anniversary and not only gives an historical timeline to the foundation but gives other groups the inspiration to start their own group. 4. Your Lifetime of Stories – is a ‘how to begin’ guidebook for anyone wondering how to start writing their memoir. This book was created after several presentations were given to other organizations on the subject and a workbook was requested to accompany them. Further to that the WFSC holds writing groups in a couple of senior residents with memoir and telling stories as its base. 5. Postcards from Canada - was produced in 2017 to celebrate Canada 150. It is a collection of stories from WFSC members relating to their experiences within Canada. 6. Upcoming: Two poetry anthologies based on the April poetry challenges set on the WFSC website. The Great Escape and When Life Changes. FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Mandy Eve-Barnett is a multi-genre author writing children’s, YA and adult books. She is also the secretary for the Writer’s Foundation of Strathcona County and in membership for more than eight years

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health & wellness

FINALLY FREE by Breanna Phipps

Joanna Whyte Photography: Family Photo

Society as a whole has kept women hidden and silent for generations. Our voice, our passion, our bodies, our beauty, our human rights, our choice of thought, our careers and our lives were controlled by men, kept in secret, chosen for us until now. Until women, one by one, as a collective, began holding men accountable for their actions and taking back control of their lives, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Ending the cycle of control began. For me, this personal cycle lasted for 26 years.

My Story I was born and raised inside a religious cult in Sherwood Park, Alberta and as you can imagine, the control over women’s lives was rampant. The control was over our bodily anatomy right down to what height of heel we were allowed on our shoes. I lived the way of generations before me, but women everywhere struggle. They suffer the challenges that come with finding their confidence and self-worth as measured by society’s standards that have been engrained for generations. Three years ago, my husband and I were kicked out of this cult and we started to live, creating a life on the

outside. As a woman who was hidden physically, mentally and spiritually, these last three years have been what I describe as a journey, a deconstruction, and a process of reclaiming me; the authentic me.

My Personal Pain I have conceived, carried and birthed five incredible humans, I witnessed my body endure and survive the immense pain and pressures that childbirth brings. I stood in awe of myself as my body transformed in a short span of nine months, five times over to create and house new humans. Yet here on this journey, this deconstruction of myself, of these layers that have been poured upon me over 26 years, this is the hardest, most incredibly complex, excruciatingly painful thing I have ever done. Twenty-six years of manipulation, control, abuse, brainwashing, self-hate, doubt, and shame does not disappear as soon as you walk away. Perhaps in many ways, it intensifies as you fight your own thoughts and ingrained mannerisms and you step into a freedom of self that you have never known, lived and experienced before.

Breanna and Peter (Husband)

Taking back control is not easy when confidence is hard to find, when a way of life and rules kept me hidden. My choices, decisions and my steps in life were driven by complete submission to the men in my life. It’s a dayby-day process sometimes inch-by-inch and other times it’s gigantic leaps. It’s defeating the thoughts in my head when I pull on my pants or wear spaghetti straps, eyeshadow and lipstick. The voices that are screaming at me “you’re a whore and slut” and replace it with the power of “I am worthy, I am strong, I am change, I am love, I am bold but most importantly I AM finally free to be ME.”

Be powerful with me, reclaim who and what your truth is and let your confidence shine through, daily. Shower yourself with the love that you deserve, we have one life, aJoannand I am exhausted of allowing others to decide and live it for me, I have taken back control and I want you to do the exact same because when we do, the power that we hold as a collective will change the world, it has already begun.

I’m in Control I have control over my life, not one person has enough power over me to tell me who and what I can be anymore. This has and continues to change my life. It is showing my knees, thighs and midriff, my shoulders and cleavage, wearing pants and booty shorts, heels higher than three inch and having piercings, tattoos, and painting my nails and colouring my hair. It’s allowing myself to say no, to break the cycle of a “woman’s duty” it’s using my voice and allowing it to be heard and it’s making decisions for myself, by myself, because it’s what I want. Even beyond the physical and materialistic aspects, reclaiming myself has been powerful. No more so than the deep emotional parts of my life that are evolving as I connect with the truth of who I was always meant to be. The connection to both parts is creating the magic of being, of really being.

Breanna Phipps is a woman living free from a religious cult on a personal journey of reclamation. She has reignited her flame of passion for writing on her public blog, telling her life story with her mission to help others navigate their personal suffering of religious trauma to live authentically. A wife and mother of five, living life to the utmost.

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food

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR STEAK PREPARED? by

Monique MacDonald

Barbecue season, is there really such a thing in Alberta? In our house, “BBQ” season is 365 days long, sometimes, if we are lucky, 366. How can it not be when we raise some of the world’s best cattle? Not surprisingly, Alberta has the most cattle in Canada. Alberta’s feeder cattle (steers and heifers for feeding or slaughter) accounted for 59.6% of the national total, while its beef breeding stock (beef cows and heifers for beef herd replacement) accounted for 42.3%. ( Statistics Canada May 10, 2017 )

“Barbecue is the good old technique of people making a fire and putting some stuff over the top.” - Graham Elliot I am not the barbecue chef in our household but am slowly improving. I used to ruin lovely cuts of meat, dry chicken to cardboard consistency and turn pork into wood chunks. I have learned THE best trick or BBQ rule of thumb for a successful end result: Use a meat thermometer! This little gadget will show you the exact temperature so you know exactly when it is done to your liking. Who knew? My husband does all these calculations and sets the timer. It works for him. But me? I now just go out with my meat temperature taking gadget and voila! I just need to “I’ve always loved barbecuing and smoking meat, since I watch the rise of the temperature and remove the meat was a little kid I loved to throw simple things like burgers and dogs on the BBQ. There is something special about at the right time. cooking outside over fire that’s very primal that I just fell “Barbecue may not be the road to world peace, but it’s a in love with. start.” - Anthony Bourdain Sherwood Park made the most sense to open YNABBQ There is, of course, much more to a perfect BBQ than because that is where I live and where my other business temperature. Wanting to find out more about this much The Promo Addict is located. When we first opened beloved method of cooking, I looked high and low for an the BBQ shop, it was running out of the warehouse expert on this topic. My search led me to Russell Bird, for The Promo Addict, but then as it expanded in 2020 one of the co-owners of You Need A BBQ in Sherwood we expanded our space and moved the Promo Addict Park. I asked him all the necessary questions and then upstairs so that YNABBQ could take over the whole some to ensure that you and I would be well prepared space. to WOW and impress all those who might partake, Covid restrictions permitting, of the fruits of our BBQ labours. Looking for a recommendation on two brands of BBQ’s, I asked Bird his opinion on this. He recommends the Love is in the air. No wait, it’s BBQ. Nevermind.” - Pitboss Grills as they are “relatively inexpensive and can do everything that higher priced grills can do”. He also Unknown mentioned the Louisiana Grills. They are a little more First, I wanted to know how he became interested in premium but have a larger fire pot which “can get about all things BBQ and why he opened You Need a BBQ 100 degrees hotter for grilling”. (YNABBQ) in Sherwood Park.

We own a gas BBQ that is hooked to a gas line on our balcony. Our Condo does not allow the use of propane appliances. Some people prefer gas to propane. Honestly, I do not know the difference. I must admit that I do like the smokey taste that meat would get on the Hibachis of my childhood. Which is Bird’s preference? Charcoal, gas or YNABBQ’s Black Gold New propane? “Wood Pellet Grills is our specialty, but if it has Striploin Steaks to be gas then I prefer propane because it burns 3 times hotter than natural gas”. As for that smokey flavour, INGREDIENTS YNABBQ sells a product called a smoking maze. If you can’t get your hands on some, Bird suggests wrapping • ¼ cup Spiceology Sasquatch Black Gold Rub wood chips in foil and throwing them on the BBQ. Let • 2 tbsp Melted Butter them smoulder on there while you cook your meat of • 4 each Striploin Steaks choice.

York

“BBQ because you can’t live a full life on an empty INSTRUCTIONS AND PREPARATION • Preheat the smoker or BBQ to 600 degrees or hotter. stomach” - Unknown • Get your grill as hot as possible Which leads me to the most important question. Which cuts of meat would Bird recommend as the best choice to • Trim off any excess fat from the steaks BBQ and at what temperature should they be cooked at? • Season heavily with Black Gold Seasoning Shish Kebabs: “As hot as your BBQ will go. If you are • Get the steaks on the grill for 2 minutes per side doing shish kebabs, I recommend not mixing your meats and vegetables because they are done at different • Paint the steaks with melted butter on the final flip temperatures. Instead make a whole skewer of meat • When desired doneness is achieved, remove from and then a whole skewer of vegetables and so on. grill Steak: Cowboy cut ribeye steak, reverse seared at 350 • Paint with butter one more time degrees to perfection, medium rare. • Rest for 5-10 minutes • Slice the steaks and serve Roast: For this I would recommend a chuck roast because of its intense marbling and inexpensive price point. Take it to medium, around 135-140 degrees internal temperature Monique MacDonald is a local Chicken: 375 degrees for about 1 hour, make sure the internal temperature of the breasts is 165 internal before consuming Pork: I love pork belly, take a look at our recipe for sticky Asian pork belly burnt ends on the You Need A BBQ website.

culinary events organizer and food afficionado. She was one of the organizers of the Gluten Free Cravings Festival in Strathcona County, as well as Northern Bites Culinary Tours in Edmonton. She is presently the Culinary Events Coordinator for Silver Skate Festival and curator of its Celebrate Edmonton bags.

Have a delicious Summer!

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