in HER words
Healing in Its Many Forms BY TIAN N A SPEARS
I
’ve spent the last few weeks thinking about wellness. It all started on a Tuesday afternoon. I was in an aisle at Bulldega Urban Market looking for my favorite oat milk when I saw a former classmate. Masks on, we recognized each other and paused to say hello. “Look at you!” she said. “You haven’t put on the quarantine 15 weight!” She laughed. I stood there, unsure how to address her comment. I find that with setting boundaries, the tricky part is just knowing the vocabulary to state how you feel. Later that night I thought about the loss of life, traumatic experiences and the insurmountable difficulty of the last year. Coming off of a rather difficult week of focusing on my mental health, I thought of her comment as appalling. In 2021, you would think that people would stop making remarks on how much someone weighs and what their body looks like. However you experienced the last year, making it to 2021 is a blessing and no small feat. After all that we’ve been through, why the continuous obsession with weight? I
O RI G I N A L LY FR OM LO S A N G E L E S,
T H E AUT H O R WAS
RA I S E D I N D U R HAM. S H E H A S WRI TTEN F O R A M E R ICA N DIPLO M ACY ,
LO S A NGE L E S
T IM E S, M ATA DOR N E T WO RK A ND PO L IT ICO, A N D
WA S F E AT URED O N A B C N E WS,
B US I N E S S I N SI DER , C N N , N P R, P RI ’ S
T H E WO RL D A ND
I N T H E NE W YO R K T IM E S. T I A N NA I S
T H E F O UN D E R OF A STO RY T E L L I NG CO L L E CT I V E
WE B S I T E CA L LED
T I A N N A’ S C RE ATI VE A N D C RE ATO R OF
T H E B LO G “ WHAT’ S UP WI T H T I A N NA.”
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durhammag.com
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august 2021
know this isn’t new. The checkout lines at supermarkets are still lined with magazines of thin, beautiful women with restrictive dieting advice and captions like, “10 Ways to Be Sexy for Your Man!” and “Here’s How to Make Him Want You.” It’s easy for women to be tricked into believing that something is wrong with them and that a new beauty product aggressively marketed toward them will make them “better.” Women: You are perfect just the way you are. As a 20-something, I was tired. I cut off all my hair in protest of European standards of beauty. My hair is curly and wild, just like me. I decided back in 2017 that if I am going to go anywhere, I am going to come exactly as I am. Wellness, to me, is knowing that the life I want is right within my reach. It’s knowing that no one can pour into my cup like I can. It’s the individual responsibility of healing, taking care of myself and being intentional about the life that I want to live. It’s valuing my mental health over career or any to-do list. It’s building a wonderful and beautiful community of friends and family who hold me accountable and love me dearly. It’s using my voice; it’s setting boundaries. It’s saying “no” without guilt when I simply don’t want to and/or when my cup is empty; it’s a full night of rest, an episode of “Living Single,” and a warm meal when my body feels drained. It’s a long bike ride on the American Tobacco Trail with my family, wind on my face, movement that makes me feel good in my body. It’s at my favorite hot yoga studio, Arrichion Hot Yoga and Circuit Training, with my beloved yoga teachers Marisa Echeverri, Sara McCauley and Steve Echeverri, where I let the heat move through my body. After the 45-minute class, I feel lighter. On the days I don’t go to yoga, my body aches in a way that makes me crave a return. After class, a friend would say, “See you