in HER words
Molding My Creativity BY TIAN N A SPEARS
“I
’ve decided to give myself permission to focus on my joy.” I stared at the December 2020 issue of Vogue, the image of Beyoncé in a hot pink outfit, hair parted in the middle. I thought about her quote for weeks; the strength and power in these words above. The art of giving herself permission to refocus, address her needs and place emphasis on herself. On only herself. How many of us ask for permission from others but never grant it to ourselves? My mind normally races first thing in the morning. There is my todo list: The dog must be fed and walked, laundry folded, pending emails are in need of response, and a dishwasher to empty. I wonder, how
O RI G I N A L LY FR OM LO S A N G E L E S,
T H E AUT H O R WAS
RA I S E D I N D U R HAM. S H E H A S WRI TTEN F O R A M E R ICA N DIPLO M ACY ,
LO S A NGE L E S
T IM E S, M ATA DOR N E T WO RK A ND PO L IT ICO, A N D
WA S F E AT URED O N A B C N E WS,
B US I N E S S I N SI DER , C N N , N P R, P RI ’ S
T H E WO RL D A ND
I N T H E NE W YO R K T IM E S. T I A N NA I S
T H E F O UN D E R OF A STO RY T E L L I NG CO L L E CT I V E
WE B S I T E CA L LED
T I A N N A’ S C RE ATI VE A N D C RE ATO R OF
T H E B LO G “ WHAT’ S UP WI T H T I A N NA.”
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durhammag.com
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april 2021
often do I take a moment and visualize the radical, sustainable, healing and creative way I want to live my life? How often do I focus on my joy? I started slowing my mornings down. I made a mental note of one thing I was excited about each day that was not tied to work, family and friends – just to me. Turns out, there were several things I was excited about: watching the Audre Lorde documentary, “Audre Lorde – The Berlin Years 1984 to 1992,” exploring the new walking trail I discovered in my south Durham neighborhood, and rereading “Giovanni’s Room” by James Baldwin. Moving at this gentler pace is … different. When I pour my coffee in the morning, I ask myself what I’m doing, how the coffee smells, and I pause to feel the warmth of the mug in my hands. I take a deep breath, light my favorite candle and lean back in my chair before I start my day. I find it easy to get stuck, as a writer, from a lack of creativity or writer’s block. I spend all of my time now at home with my Lab mix instead of laughing with friends on our