Vignette of a Wedding –– Kabul 1956 by Prita K. Shalizi A trio of sisters-in-law arrived to invite us to a wedding, the first I was attending since marrying an Afghan in New York in 1945 and moving to Afghanistan. It involved cousins; the groom being the son of one of my brother-in-laws; the bride the daughter of another. To exemplify the intricacies of relationships through which I had to tread delicately avoiding sensitive toes bared prominently: of the trio of ladies, two were co-wives. In Islam, up to four wives are permitted with the stipulation that they be treated as equals in every respect! To my brother-in-law equality represented a single shared household with no partiality shown, each wife producing an infant in alternate years. Now his family ran to four children by wife #1, of whom the groom was the oldest child, and five by wife #2. To return to my story, one sister-in-law announced: “The children and you must come to the bride’s house by three o’clock.” “At three!” I exclaimed, “But the invitation you just gave me says eight o’clock.” “That’s right,” they acknowledged laughing as if at some shared joke – probably my ignorance as a foreigner – but women relatives and friends gather earlier for another event. “You must come see for yourself.” I gave in, realizing that the occasion warranted a certain amount of enthusiasm on my part. The day of days arrived bright and sunny. At the bride’s recently acquired home, we were escorted through the bare, unfinished courtyard. Mounds of earth and stones, left over from construction, lay in untidy piles. However, the path leading to the house was lined by a long, green vegetable patch. A characteristic of every Afghan home, be it rich or poor, large or small, is a garden. There may be only a meager number of plants, but they are tended with care and enjoyed to the fullest. Here was no exception. A pumpkin vine spread its dark green leaves in elbow-jostling profusion, delicate tomato plants waved tendrils around their stakes; broad-leaved eggplants and a tracery of carrot foliage were in evidence. Edging the steps to the entry stood pots of bright red geraniums and deep purple petunias, a mass of blooms enlivening the dull façade of mud plaster.
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