ious levels of government, I thought I knew all I needed to know about marijuana.
I CAN
HONESTLY SAY
Of course I was wrong. Because so many of those sources, those government officials, were dead-wrong
self alone, of course, as we all know others whose rit-
on cannabis. And while my four years of cannabis con-
ualistic wake-and-bake positions them in a mindset
sumption have taught me many lessons, here are a
for a productive day. But that’s not me.
couple I still employ today—about the improbable productivity of marijuana consumption.
L ESSON NO. 2 : PACKING SUCKS, THOUGH IT SUCKS SIGNIFICANTLY LESS WHEN YOU’RE HIGH
L ESSON NO. 1 : PSYCHOACTIVES AND WORKWORK DON’T MIX—FOR ME, AT LEAST.
After spending the weekend picking up recycled boxes from friends who had recently moved, my then-girl-
The first lesson about my productivity-based rela-
friend and I set the game plan: She would pack up the
tionship with cannabis was rooted in a lack of produc-
kitchen if I started in the spare bedroom, which was also
tivity. I remember staring down the barrel of a free-
home to our bookshelves and home office. I remember
lance deadline in 2013, and I wondered if a microdose
taking a bite of an infused baklava, feeling like a domes-
of edible cannabis might help my lingering writer’s block.
tic Timothy Leary, wondering about its potential impact
An hour after ingesting 5mgs of activated THC, I knew
on the next few hours.
the marijuana wasn’t helping me write.
When Melana (now my wife) poked her head into
While certain substances can be great for brain-
the spare bedroom two hours later she was dumb-
storming seshes, weed included, they’re not always the
founded to see two towers of meticulously labeled
best fuel for the execution that follows. I speak for my-
boxes stacked against the wall and empty bookshelves
32 Denver //Boulder DEC EMBER 2017