November 2023

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Published Locally Since 1980

November 2023

A Colorado Champion


2 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

Published Locally Since 1980

A Colorado Champion

Vol. 43, No. 11

Online at www.theseniorvoice.net PUBLICATION INFORMATION The Senior Voice is locally owned and has been published the first of each month since 1980 for residents in Fort Collins, Greeley, Loveland and nearby areas. ADVERTISING Ad deadline is 20th of month. For rates, call 970-229-9204; email wolf@theseniorvoice.net or see www.theseniorvoice.net

Wolfgang Lambdin Publisher and Advertising Director

Fort Collins, Colorado (970) 229-9204 wolf.lambdin@gmail.com EDITORIAL DEADLINE: Announcements and stories must be received by the 10th of the month; ads by the 20th of the month. READER INFORMATION: Subscriptions $52 a year. Writers' opinions are not necessarily those of The Senior Voice. EDITORIAL OFFICE: (970) 229-9204 wolf.lambdin@gmail.com www.theseniorvoice.net Design Production by Ellen Bryant Design ellen@ellenbryantdesign.com © Copyright 2023 The Senior Voice No material may be reproduced by any means without permission of the Senior Voice. William and Peggy Lambdin Founders, 1980

Mikaela Shiffrin. By Peggy Hunt Colorado skier Mikaela Shiffrin made history as she now holds more World Cup wins than any other female alpine skier. Shiffrin was a teenage prodigy when she burst on the scene more than a decade ago. Now she's a two-time Olympic gold medalist and six-time world champion. She said, “You better memorize the words of the national anthem because, if you ever win, you better sing it.” She added, “My parents strapped a pair of plastic skis on

my boots when I was two years old and sent me down our driveway in Vail. Of course, they were holding on to me the whole time, but that was my first experience skiing.” Her father was a former college ski racer and her mother was a ski instructor. Mikaela is the former teen prodigy who in 2013 became the youngest American alpine skier ever to win a world championship. She went on to win gold medals at the 2014 and 2018 Winter Olympics, and to win 13 individual world championship medals, the most in the modern

era. She won her 47th World Cup slalom victory in January 2022, passing Ingemark Stenmark of Sweden for the most World Cup wins ever in a single discipline. The next month she won the women’s World Cup gold medal in the giant slalom, giving her the record for the most individual world championship medals (13) in the modern era. U.S. Skiing magazine called her the winningest slalom skier of all time. And she’s a Colorado girl.


November 2023 • The Senior Voice • 3

MEDICARE IN

2024

Starting January 1, 2024, if

you have Medicare drug coverage (Part D) and your drug costs are high enough to reach the catastrophic coverage phase, you don’t have to pay a copayment or coinsurance. Extra Help—a program that helps cover your Part D drug costs—will expand to cover more drug costs for certain people with limited resources and income. Medicare now covers monthly services to treat chronic pain if you’ve been living with it for more than 3 months. Your Medicare drug plan can't charge you more than $35 for a one-month supply of each insulin product Part D covers, and you don’t have to pay a deductible for it. If you take insulin through a traditional pump that’s covered under Medicare’s durable medical equipment benefit, that insulin is covered under Medicare Part B. You won’t pay more than $35 for a month’s supply and the Medicare deductible no longer applies.


4 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

BREAST SURGERY

Women could be choosing to have unnecessary surgery to avoid breast cancer after being told they are at high risk from genetic test results that do not take family history into account. Researchers warned that women who discover that they carry a disease-causing variant in one of the BRCA genes (BRCA1 or BRCA2) may be told their risk of breast cancer is 60-80 per cent. In fact, the risk could be less than 20 per cent if they do not have a close relative with the condition. Until recently, women who received BRCA results did so because they attended clinic due to symptoms, or a family history of disease. The likelihood of certain BRCA variants causing

breast cancer has been calculated based on this already high-risk group. However, many people now pay for home DNA testing kits, or are given results as part of taking part in genetic research, without ever having any personal link with breast cancer. Researchers found that simply carrying a disease-causing BRCA variant was linked to a breast cancer risk of 18 per cent (for BRCA2) and 23 per cent (for BRCA1) by age 60. Having a close relative who has had the condition elevated the risk to 24 per cent (for BRCA2) and 45 per cent (for BRCA1).

HEALTHCARE FOR SENIORS By Lydia Zuraw & Carmen Rodriguez Kaiser Family Foundation The number of Americans 65 and older is expected to nearly double in the next 40 years. Finding a way to provide their health services won't be easy, say officials with the U.S. Census Bureau and other sources. Officials estimate that more than half of the people turning 65 will need long-term care services at some point. That care is expensive and can be hard to find. Paying for long-term care already runs about $409 billion a year. Yet that staggering number doesn’t begin to reflect the real cost. Experts say 1 in 6 Americans provide billions of dollars’ worth of unpaid care to a relative or friend in their home. AARP estimates more than 50 million people provide unpaid care, generally to family members.

Other than family members, Medicaid is the single largest payer of long-term care. But to qualify for that program, seniors must spend nearly all their income and very little money in things like CDs and IRAs. President Joe Biden recently acknowledged the need for longterm care with his proposal to spend $400 billion over the next eight years to improve access to in-home and community-based care. But that would cover only a part of what America’s retirees will ultimately need. Most experts say our government programs need to change and provide more in-home care so seniors can remain at home as long as possible and not have to rely as much on nursing homes or similar facilities.


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ACROSS 1 Center for Addiction and Mental Health, in a text msg. 5 Russian abbreviation for the Soviet Union or USSR 9 Big name in beauty and cosmetic products 13 Unidentified sticky substance (2 wds.) 14 This often is served with chips 15 Origin of a weed or flower 16 Poudre River denizens 18 Stir up, prod 19 The Sahara Desert, perhaps 20 Misleading appearance of someone or something 21 Change the color of something 22 This separates Indiana from Kentucky 25 Train or bus terminal, briefly 27 Shady dealing or ruse 29 TV show of the early 60s featuring a talking horse 30 Jack of all trades person 32 Sound heard at a seance 33 Chaffee County ghost town: St. ________ 37 Battery maker or tillage equipment manufacturer 38 Grim Reaper 40 Sinclair Lewis novel set in Gopher Prairie, MN: ______ Street 41 Tech repairmen; _____ Squad 42 North Pole worker 43 “We just showed up. There wasn’t _____ _____ time to arrive.” 45 October birthstone 47 ______ cone 48 The “A” in A.D. following a date 49 Black pigment found in paint, shoe polish and inks 53 Location between Ireland and the U.K.: Isle of ____ 55 Succulent plants known for treatment of burns 56 Advertisement for a famous Verdi Opera (2 wds.) 60 Higher education institution (abbr.) 61 Charlie McCarthy or Jersey Mahoney 63 Big name in motorcycle stunt riding

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COLORADO CROSSWORDS are created by longtime Loveland residents Tony and Peggy Donovan.

HEALTHCARE COSTS By The Harvard Business Review In health care, the days of business as usual are over. Around the world, every health care system is struggling with rising costs and uneven quality despite the hard work of well-intentioned, well-trained clinicians. Health care leaders and policy makers have tried countless incremental fixes—attacking fraud, reducing errors, enforcing practice guidelines, making patients better “consumers,” implementing electronic medical records—but none have had much impact. It’s time for a fundamentally new strategy. At its core is maximizing value for patients: that is, achieving the best outcomes at the lowest cost. We must move away from a supply-driven health care system organized around what physicians do and toward a patient-centered system organized around what patients need. We must shift the

focus from the volume and profitability of services provided—physician visits, hospitalizations, procedures, and tests—to the patient outcomes achieved. And we must replace today’s fragmented system, in which every local provider offers a full range of services, with a system in which services for particular medical conditions are concentrated in health-delivery organizations and in the right locations to deliver high-value care. The transformation to value-based health care is well under way. Some organizations are still at the stage of pilots and initiatives in individual practice areas. Other organizations, such as the Cleveland Clinic and Germany’s Schön Klinik, have undertaken large-scale changes involving multiple components of the value agenda. The result has been striking improvements in outcomes and efficiency, and growth in market share.

COMPUTERS FOR HEALTHCARE

The health care industry has undergone tumultuous change over the past two decades. Industry and political leaders have grappled with several issues that impact access to care, quality of care, and the cost of care.

Perhaps the most pressing issue in health care currently is the high cost of care. More than 45% of American adults say it’s difficult to afford health care, and more than 40% have medical debt. The cost of health care changes people’s behavior, with many forgoing seeing a doctor when they feel sick or avoiding preventive health visits entirely. A quarter of Americans can’t afford necessary prescriptions and may skip doses or otherwise not take medication as prescribed. Each of these behaviors can lead to serious

health issues, increasing the cost of care down the road. The solution is the use of more computerized services and programs that allow patients to get health care quicker, cheaper, and more effectively. People should be able to get some doctors’ services without always having to see a doctor in person. That’s the opinion of numerous experts. Computer services can affect health care delivery and administration. This allows staff to concentrate on more complex issues, saving time and money. AI can also help predict staffing needs, making it easier for administrators to staff appropriately. Additionally, doctors can use such services to complete administrative tasks, allowing them to focus on patient care.


6 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

DO YOU HAVE BACK PAIN?

About 80% of people will experience back pain at some time, but there are ways to find relief. Age is often the culprit. Over time, the bones and joints in your lower back begin to change. Your discs (the structures that serve as cushions between the bones in the spine) tend to wear out and sometimes become fragmented. These structural alterations sometimes cause pain.

Another cause of low back pain, although it occurs less often, is a herniated disc. Sometimes, a disc pushes outside the space between the bones and compresses a nerve at the point where it branches off the spinal cord. When the sciatic nerve that leads into the buttocks and leg is affected, the pain is called sciatica. Yet, most cases of low back pain stem from strain or sprain due to simple overuse, unaccustomed activity, excessive lifting,

or an accident. In most cases the best move is to wait and see if the pain resolves on its own. If the pain does not improve after three to four days, then it's time to see a doctor.

normal. There are several options to consider.

it to a few hours at a time and for no more than one or two days.

It's best to use cold compresses or an ice pack, not heat, immediately following a back injury, since this can alleviate pain by numbing the area and prevent or reduce swelling. About 48 hours after the onset of back pain, though, applying heating pads or a hot-water bottle to your back may be helpful. The warmth soothes and relaxes aching muscles and increases blood flow, which helps the healing process. Keep in mind that heat therapy is only helpful for the first week.

Several types of complementary therapy may be helpful for relief from low back pain. These include:

Once the mainstay of treatment for back pain, bed rest has fallen out of favor. Doctors now know it's better to keep moving, Depending on the source of so that your muscles don't become your back pain and its severity, stiff. Bed rest can still be useful reyou might try a few home reme- lief from low back pain, particulardies for low back pain to help ease ly if your pain is so severe that it the pain until your back returns to T:9" hurts to sit or stand. But try to limit

Acupuncture, in which therapists insert hair-thin sterilized needles into precise points in the body to release blocked energy, spinal manipulation, in which chiropractors apply pressure directly to the body to correct spinal alignment. Therapeutic massage to relax aching muscles. Movement therapies, such as yoga and tai chi, which can help stretch and strengthen back muscles. How long your back pain lasts will depend on its cause. For example, back pain caused by strain from overexertion usually subsides over days or weeks. Back pain caused by the weight of pregnancy will usually be relieved after delivery of the baby.

T:5.5"

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November 2023 • The Senior Voice • 7

LIVING WILLS PERSONAL DRIVER WANTED Living wills and health care proxies — documents known as advance care directives — give you a voice in decisions about your medical care at the end of life. Without these documents, choices may be left up to a doctor or a judge — someone who does not know your values, beliefs, or preferences. Many people shy away from preparing a living will or health care power of attorney, perhaps because it’s difficult to ponder death, or they aren’t sure what their end-of-life wishes are, or don’t know how to go about doing it. But taking some time to think about what kinds of medical treatment you would or wouldn’t want if you were unable to speak for yourself is can be a blessing for your loved ones, say researchers. Living wills and health care proxies — documents known as advance care directives — give

you a voice in decisions about your medical care. Yet only a quarter or less of Americans have filled out advance directives. Without these documents, choices may be left up to a doctor or someone appointed by a judge — a person who may

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not know your values, beliefs, or preferences (your health care philosophy). Not only is it possible that the care you receive isn’t in keeping with your wishes, but this also may be a great burden on a loved one, who is forced to make difficult decisions without knowing what you would want.

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8 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

HEART FAILURE By Julie Corliss - Harvard Health

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If you start feeling a bit more tired or winded than normal, it's easy to write it off to growing older or being out of shape or overweight. But if these symptoms persist, don't ignore them — especially if you also notice swelling in your ankles and difficulty breathing when you lie down. These are all classic symptoms of early heart failure, which happens when the heart isn't able to pump effectively enough to deliver blood throughout the body. In general, people aren't aware that they may be vulnerable to developing heart failure, nor do they appreciate how dangerous it can be. "But we have tools to identify early heart failure in people at the highest risk, such as those with type 2 diabetes," says cardiologist Dr. James Januzzi, professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. A weakened heart can't deliv-

er enough oxygen-rich blood to meet the body's needs, causing a general sense of feeling tired or fatigued.

Because people with heart failure tire easily, they often struggle to do everyday activities such as preparing a meal or taking a short walk. The heart's poor pumping ability causes blood to back up and fluid to leak into the lungs. The resulting lung congestion can trigger coughing and wheezing. Excess fluid can also collect in the ankles, legs, thighs, and abdomen and cause rapid weight gain.

Hearing problems can become brain problems

The brain needs access to the full perspective of the sound scene to work as it should. Not receiving this can lead to brain problems.

Brain problems can become life problems

When access to the right input is limited, a hearing problem can lead to serious problems in life. If you are experiencing hearing difficulties, call (970) 221-5249 to schedule your hearing evaluation and consultation.

Susan D. Baker, BS, BC-HIS 2001 S Shields St, Bldg J-2 | Fort Collins (970) 221-5249 | AdvancedHearing.net


November 2023 • The Senior Voice • 9

NOW IS THE TIME TO REVIEW YOUR MEDICARE. Open enrollment is Oct. 15–Dec 7. Your local State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) is the only place to receive unbiased advice regarding your Medicare. Certified Medicare counselors will help you make your decisions. We do not receive compensation or commission from any of the prescription drug companies. To make an appointment, scan the QR code:

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TREATING ALZHEIMER'S By Senior Voice Staff There are currently no known interventions that will cure Alzheimer’s but several prescription drugs are approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for Alzheimer’s disease to help either manage the symptoms of or to treat the disease. Most FDA-approved drugs work best for people in the early or middle stages of Alzheimer’s. The drugs rivastigmine and donepezil are cholinesterase inhibitors that are prescribed for mild to moderate Alzheimer’s symptoms. These drugs may help reduce or control some cognitive and behavioral symptoms. Cholinesterase inhibitors prevent the breakdown of acetylcholine, a brain chemical believed to be important for memory and thinking. As Alzheimer’s progresses, the brain produces less acetylcholine and, over time, these medicines lose their effectiveness. Lecanemab is an FDA-approved immunotherapy to treat early Alzheimer’s. It targets the protein beta-amyloid to help reduce amyloid plaques, one of the hallmark brain changes in Alzheimer’s. Study results showed lecanemab slowed the rate of cognitive decline among study participants over the course of 18 months and reduced the levels of amyloid in the brain. A medication known as memantine can be prescribed for moderate to severe Alzheimer’s. This drug is prescribed to decrease symptoms, which could enable some people to maintain certain daily functions a little longer than they would without the medication. For example, memantine may help a person in the later stages of the disease maintain their ability to use the bathroom independently for several more months, a benefit for both people with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers. Memantine is believed to work by regulating glutamate, an important brain chemical. When produced in excessive amounts, glutamate may lead to brain cell death. Because NMDA antagonists work differently from cholinesterase inhibitors, the two types of drugs can be prescribed in combination. Doctors usually start patients at low drug doses and gradually increase the dosage based on how well a patient tolerates it. There is some evidence that certain people may benefit from higher doses of Alzheimer’s medications. However, the higher the dose, the more likely unwanted side effects will occur.


10 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

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Estate Planning By Ron Rutz, Attorney Q: In the past two columns concerning my wife’s Alzheimer’s, you discussed Durable Powers of Attorney and my wife’s Will. But what about my Will? A: The Affected Spouse (AS) should transfer to the non-AS the assets that are in the name of the AS including assets that have beneficiaries, like insurance. The non-AS should change any beneficiary designations to a trust which will be discussed shortly. There should be no gift tax consequences because one spouse can transfer any amount gift tax free to the other. To be an effective transfer and to qualify for various government benefits, five years must pass from the time of the transfer to the time that the benefits are applied for. The trust must be an “asset protection trust” to withstand

any claim by the government that the transferred assets should be “counted” to determine the AS’s eligibility or for reimbursement for funds given to the AS in the past. The trust must be an “asset protection trust” with the proper wording. I prefer a testamentary trust set up in the Will of the non-AS. Thus an asset protection testamentary trust is needed so if the non-AS dies first and five years had lapsed following the asset transfer to the non-AS, the assets would be available to the AS to supplement needs not met by the various governmental programs. (For questions, email Ron at www.rutz@ronaldrutz.com. Call 970.223.8388. His office is at 1991 East 11th Street, in Loveland.)

A NEW VACCINE The first vaccine for respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for use in seniors aged 60 and older. “Older adults, in particular those with underlying health conditions, such as heart or lung disease or weakened immune systems, are at high risk for severe disease caused by RSV,” Dr. Peter Marks, director of the FDA’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research, said RSV is a highly contagious virus that spreads widely during the cold and flu season, with cases typically starting in the fall and peaking in the winter, the FDA said. RSV hit Americans particularly hard during the last cold and flu season, as pandemic restrictions were finally lifted. The virus

tore through populations of young children who had never been exposed to it. In older adults, RSV can cause life-threatening pneumonia and bronchiolitis — swelling of the small airway passages in the lungs. Each year in the United States, RSV leads to approximately 60,000 to 120,000 hospitalizations and 6,000 to 10,000 deaths among adults 65 and older, according to the CDC. Now that the vaccine is approved, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention will weigh later this summer whether all seniors should get the shot or just those considered at high risk for severe infection.


November 2023 • The Senior Voice • 11

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12 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

An Outstanding Failure By Wolfgang Lambdin It was probably the strangest buffalo hunt in the early West. In 1872 the Grand Duke Alexis Romanov of Russia decided to celebrate his 22nd birthday by coming to America and hunting buffalo. Politicians were eager to please the duke and sent him off in the company of the country’s most celebrated figures of the day: Buffalo Bill Cody, George Armstrong Custer, and General George Sheridan. Lunch on the first day at camp was supplied by a wagon load of sandwiches and champagne. The Second Cavalry band played “Hail to the Chief.” The next morning, the band again serenaded the young duke before he rode out to slay his buffalo. The duke, Cody, and Custer galloped gallantly off to slay the fearsome beasts dozing nearby on the plains. The duke decided

to use a pistol instead of a rifle to make his kill. This meant someone had to maneuver a buffalo to within a few feet. Later the group celebrated the duke’s triumph. Champagne corks popped again late into the night, mixing with the howl of coyotes in a strange cacophony on the plains. Two days later, the group boarded the Imperial Train, rode to Denver and attended a grand ball in honor of the duke. Then it was off to Kit Carson, Colorado, for another day’s hunting on the way back East. At Kit Carson, Gen. Sheridan decided to view the hunt from a hilltop. Suddenly several wounded buffalo ran toward him, and the hunters began shooting in his direction. Bullets whizzed past his head. Sheridan threw himself on the ground and lay face down, fearing for his life. When it was over, Sheridan

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS By Antony Komoaroff, M.D. Multiple sclerosis is a disease of the brain and spinal cord that can cause many neurological symptoms, including arm and leg weakness, loss of vision, and difficulty thinking, as well as severe fatigue. Over the past 50 years we've learned that MS is an autoimmune disease: in various ways, the immune system attacks the brain and/or the spinal cord, leading to the symptoms of the illness. However, we haven't figured out why: what causes the immune system to go on the attack? Over the years, several viruses have been proposed as causes of MS, only to have subsequent research show that

they were not. That led some MS doctors and scientists to discount viruses as possible causes. Yet growing evidence in recent years points to several viruses that may be triggers of MS. The strongest evidence is for Epstein-Barr virus (EBV). This virus infects most people in developed nations like the US in their teen or young adult years. Once a person is infected, the virus usually remains alive in the body for the rest of a person's life. But researchers in Sweden recently found that Autologous hematopoietic stem cell transplantation is a suitable treatment for a form of MS.

Grand Duke Alexis Romanov. was livid. He rushed to the hunters and delivered a string of expletives that few generals had ever equaled. The duke didn’t care. He was having the time of his life.

He returned to Russia and was later made commander-in-chief of the Russian navy. In that role, his achievements were described by one of his contemporaries: “He was an outstanding failure.”

Why do advertisers choose The Senior Voice? People ages 50 to 60 have MORE SPENDABLE INCOME than any other age group. (U.S. Consumer Research Center) Over 73% of them read newspapers and magazines. (Scarborough Research)

Northern Colorado’s 55 to 60 population increased over 80% in the past 10 years. (U.S. Census Bureau).

THEY READ THE SENIOR VOICE EVERY MONTH!

970.229.9204 theseniorvoice.net


November 2023 • The Senior Voice • 13

New Local Gym Specializes in Helping Clients Age Well Never been to a gym? Are you 40 and already feeling “old”? Maybe you are 60 and wanting to get back on track? Or 70 and wanting to continue to pursue life with vigor? Pharmacist, Personal Trainer, Owner, Kirk Bemis says if any of these are you then “Fit-Rx is the place you should be.” Located in the Hobby Lobby Shopping Center at 4206 S. College Ave. Unit 108 in Ft. Collins, Fit-Rx focuses specifically on helping people age better through what he describes as a “paradigm shift” in training philosophy. As a pharmacist of almost 30 years, Bemis says he has noticed people living longer than they were 3 decades ago, but he has also noticed a much more alarm-

ing trend of people living with many more chronic ailments including obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, chronic joint pain, and diabetes. Asked what makes a pharmacist qualified to open a training studio, Bemis replied, “My pharmacy experience tells me over and over that we address aging and it’s related problems with a short sighted approach and oftentimes a hefty dose of ageism, but it is actually my experience in working with middle school and high school wrestlers that qualifies me to open this business”. Bemis went on to explain that what he saw of utmost importance to the success of a young wrestler wasn’t “necessarily high end wrestling technique, but rather balance, stability, mind-body connections, resilience

(the ability to stay healthy), power, and strength”. He continued, “fast forward 4 decades or so, and these very same attributes become extremely important to continuing to do the same things at 70 that folks can do at 50”. Certifications in Personal Training, Functional Aging, and Pain-Free Performance help Bemis and his staff to offer expert coaching in the areas of balance, cognitive function, quickness, posture, and helping people from almost any starting point to become more physically confident and active. He adds they also have specific training in the areas of pre and post hip and knee replacement to help reduce complications and speed recovery. In addition to the coaching aspect of his facility, Bemis also cites their equipment as being “like nothing in all of Colorado when it comes to building bone density and power.” “We have done our homework to provide equipment that produces optimal results, with virtually zero impact, in any range of motion, and extremely safe for anyone aged 9 to 90. “ According to the Social Security Administration, a 70 year old in decent health will live

Advertorial

to be almost 85. Other studies show that balance, strength, and power start to decline at 40, with bone density starting to decline at 50. “When we put these studies together, we realize that folks definitely need to think about the 85 year old they want to be. Everything we do today gets thrown into a (quality of life, travel, play with grandkids) bank for tomorrow. But if you haven’t started yet, now is always a great time to get going.” Calling his studio a “gym for non-gym folks” Fit-Rx offers personal training and semi-personal training in a non-intimidating, low key, uncrowded environment. Anyone in any physical condition can feel comfortable training at Fit-Rx, he said. The hardest part of folks “getting back in the game” according to Bemis is just getting started. Prices at Fit-Rx range from $249 per month for semi-private training to $75 per session for 1:1 Personal Training. Hours are by appointment Monday through Friday 7am to 6pm and Saturday 8 to 12pm. For information , visit http:// www.fit-rx.net or call 970-8032710.


14 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

Just for Fun Here is a little humor to brighten your day, from Senior Voice readers.

she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 to $20 million. I think she could be right.”

6

John replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?”

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “John, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that

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The attorney replied, “The pictures are of you with your secretary.” 6 A man left work one Friday afternoon. But instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally got home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife who said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for 2 or 3 days?" To which he replied, " That would be fine with me." Monday went by, & he didn't see his wife, Tuesday & Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye. 6 A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair wiry and frazzled up, my skin was wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you there is nothing wrong with your eyesight…" 6 Exactly 400 passengers but

only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. The problem was only discovered after take-off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. So, the airline had bungled, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant had an idea. A couple of hours into the flight she nervously announced, "Ladies and gentleman, we don't know how this happened, but we have over 400 people on board, but only 200 dinners. Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal to someone else, will receive unlimited free liquor for the duration of the flight." Her next announcement came six hours later: "Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 180 dinners available." 6 A couple in their sixties are walking along the beach to admire the sunset. The wife sees a dirty lamp, and the husband stoops down to dust it off. A genie appears and thanks the couple for freeing him from his imprisonment. “As a reward,” the genie says, “I’ll grant you each one wish.” The wife says, “I want to sail around the world. Send me and my husband on a first class luxurious cruise.” *POOF* she's suddenly holding two tickets on the finest ship around the world. The genie turns to the husband, “And for you, sir?' The husband looks at his wife, leans in close to the genie and whispers, “I want a wife that is 30 years younger than me.” *POOF* and he's suddenly 90 years old.


November 2023 • The Senior Voice • 15

Care LAU G HTE R : BEST M ED I C IN E ofTake Yourself.

A man was tired of his wife bossing him around; so he read a book on assertiveness training. He came home one evening and told her:

in the shop again and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at his full shop and says, "About three hours."

“From now on, I’m the man of this house and my word is law. When I come home, I want a home-cooked meal on the table every night and no more complaints.

The guy leaves. A few days later, he returns and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

“Tonight I’m going out with the boys. You lay out my suit, shine my shoes and draw my bath. And guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

The guy leaves. and the barber says to a friend in the shop, “Would you follow that guy and see where he goes? He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he doesn’t come back.”

She said, “The undertaker.” 6 A guy sticks his head in a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head

The barber says, "About two hours."

A little while later, the friend comes back laughing. The barber asks, "Where did he go when he left here?" The friend stops laughing long enough to say, "Your house!" 6

Several men were sitting around a clubhouse after golf when a cell phone rang. A man picked it up, put it on speaker, and a woman answered.

Plan Ahead.

“Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” “Yes,” he said. “I’m at the mall and saw a beautiful dress for only $1,000. Can I buy it?” “I guess so.” “Good,” she said. “On my way here, I stopped at the car dealer and saw a great Mercedes for only $100,000. Can I buy it?”

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"I guess so." The man turned off the phone, and the other men looked at him in disbelief. Then he held up the phone and said, “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

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Who reads The Senior

VOICE Active people over age 50 with high spendable incomes. “The person who skis the most in a given year is 65 and older.” - National Ski Association President Michael Berry To advertise, call Fort Collins 970.229.9204. Email wolf@theseniorvoice.net. Online at www.theseniorvoice.net.


16 • The Senior Voice • November 2023

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