Selling the Family Home
Life in Transition
Western Washington — Winter 2016
Not Your Grandma’s “Old-Folks Home!” PG 8
winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 1
“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns
At Garden Court, residents live as if there is no tomorrow. Why not? Forget about the cooking, cleaning and the yard, and spend your life doing those things that fill you up and make you laugh. Call today for lunch and a tour – just for the fun of it. 425.438.9080
425.438.9080 RETIREMENT COMMUNITY
520 - 112th Street SW Everett WA 98204 www.gardencourtretirement.com
Only at Mirabella Seattle
Living here means being surrounded by the best the city has to offer. With easy access to such cultural venues as the Seattle Art Museum, Benaroya Hall, and Seattle Center, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll experience vibrant urban living at its finest. Call today for a tour and find out how you can retire in the middle of it all.
(206) 254-1441 â&#x20AC;˘ retirement.org/mirabellaseattle 116 Fairview Avenue North, Seattle, WA 98109 Mirabella Seattle is a Pacific Retirement Services Community. Equal Housing Opportunity.
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Winter 2015 6
20 Make Music with Your Health
Communication in Stride SHELLY PARKS How to talk to aging parents.
It’s Not Your Grandma’s Old-Folks Home LIZ TAYLOR Todays senior-living communities defy old stereotypes.
DOUWE RIENSTRA, MD Simple tips to keep your body in tune.
LIZ TAYLOR Blunt talk on getting older.
13 Right-Size Your Life Now CATHERINE ARENDT How to lighten your load.
FORREST DAWSON Low-cost insurance for maximum protection.
26 Beating the Winter Blues
Drink more coffee, it may be good for your heart.
29 Living into Your Dying
14 Umbrellas…More than
Protection from the Rain
KYLE CIMINSKI Inside exercises for rainy days.
24 Aging Deliberately
10 Selling the Family Home REBECCA BOMANN Reasons to choose your Realtor carefully.
22 Stay Strong
ASHLEY T. BENEM Empowerment through planning for your end-of-life.
30 Don’t Retire—Reinvent JANE MEYERS-BOWEN Gain perspective on reimagining your retirement.
17 Do You Need a Retirement Coach?
JENNIFER BLAIR Get a guide to help assess retirement options.
18 The Seasons of Our Lives
31 Coming Attractions
Check out our favorite winter events and engagements.
32 Brain Games
GRETCHEN M. KRAMPF Transitioning to our next phase of life.
NANCY LINDE Take your brain for a brisk walk with these word puzzles.
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Hello! We’re David & Victoria Marshall, the new owners and publishers of Senior Guidebook Magazine. This magazine is our new adventure. After building successful careers in publishing and engineering and retiring at relatively young ages, we’ve decided to re-engage in an encore business; one that leverages our accumulated knowledge and business experience. More importantly, Senior Guidebook reflects our current juncture in life. We are boomers with parents in their 80’s; one with dementia. We face important questions and challenges that are shared by thousands in Western Washington: how to age well, how to help our parents make some tough decisions and transitions, and how to live fulfilling lives as older adults. We seek local resources and advice, all of which makes Senior Guidebook a timely and important resource for us, and, we hope, for you. We are committed to continuing Senior Guidebook’s excellence and building upon its 14-year foundation. We are expanding our distribution and editorial content, freshening its design and website, and promise to build a dynamic relationship with Puget Sound’s older adults. Our writers and contributors are experts and progressive thinkers in all matters related to navigating this stage of our lives. Their wise words and advice will help us to better embrace our third act. Aptly, this issue focuses on transitions. On page 8, we learn that today’s residential retirement communities are no longer your grandma’s old-folks home. On page 18, change agent Gretchen Krampf, explores moving through the seasons of our lives. Learn how to right-size your life from expert, Catherine Arendt on page 13, and meet a different kind of midwife on page 31, who helps families through the biggest transition of all. Look for a new title next quarter as we roll-out our re-designed publication— 3rd Act Magazine—Reimagining Senior Life in Western Washington. Join us on this journey—sign up to receive four free issues mailed to your home. You’ll find mailing cards in this magazine or go to our website: www.3rdActMag.com. We are excited to be going down this path, learning as we go, and are glad you’ll be there with us!
PUBLISHERS Victoria Starr Marshall
EDITOR Jennifer Kiersky-Blair CREATIVE Mara Doane
Angelita Partolan ADVERTISING Victoria Starr Marshall DISTRIBUTION David Marshall
Senior Guidebook is published quarterly by Oshi Publishing, LLC. The opinions, advice or statements expressed by contributing writers do not reflect those of the editor, the publisher or of Senior Guidebook. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without prior consent of the publisher. It is your responsibility to evaluate the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information, opinion, advice or other content contained herein. Oshi Publishing, LLC makes no representation and, to the fullest extent allowed by law, disclaims all warranties, expressed or implied. The content published herein may include inaccuracies or typographical errors. Copyright 2016 Oshi Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. Oshi Publishing, LLC 81 Canal Lane Brinnon, WA 98320 360-796-4837 Email: info@3rdActMag.com For subscriptions and additional information, see us online at: www.3rdActMag.com.
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Communication in Stride BY SHELLY PARKS
very day, we have prospective residents and their families who come to us trying to navigate through the challenging issues of aging. As we try and help these people through the process we often find that communication is at the root of the struggles. When communication is done well, relationships grow and deepen and family members feel like they are in step with one another. When done ineffectively, there is the sense that our words trip each other up and in especially challenging communication struggles, relationships can be broken. Why is that? David Solie, an expert in geriatric psychology and intergenerational communication tells us in his book How to Say it to Seniors that one part of the problem is the disconnect between generations. Each generation is in their own developmental phase and if we communicate with one another assuming that the other is in the same phase, communication breaks down. To understand this more fully, we can look to Erik Erickson’s theory of lifespan development. Erickson’s theory explains that there are a number of different developmental phases one must go through. We understand this clearly when we think of a child who has the need to gain independence yet also needs Mom. Often the two of these clash and this creates conflict, yet it is still important that the child moves through the phase in order to reach independence. We understand this phase because we’ve been through it ourselves, we have maybe raised children and have experienced the conflict, and we have countless resources and books that help us gain tools to navigate this phase. The challenge with aging is we assume that growing older is just more of the same. Aging is seen as being an adult, just older. How could seniors possibly still be “developing?”
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Once we understand that an aging person is also experiencing their own developmental agenda, communication styles can be adjusted to explore and honor this phase. A senior’s developmental tasks compel them to maintain control over their lives while simultaneously having the need to discover their legacy. How can family communication change so an aging person maintains control and discovers their legacy? We adjust our words to help rather than hinder. For instance, Mom is having trouble maintaining the house and wants to stay in it. Her daughter wants her to consider moving. The daughter says, “Mom, I know you don’t want to sell the house, but you can’t take care of it anymore and I worry that you’ll fall.” A better way to address the topic would be for the daughter to say, “Mom, I sense you don’t like the idea of selling the house. I won’t mention the subject again, but I’d like to hear your ideas about how you can maintain it and how you can handle the stairs.” This second way of addressing the concern allows Mom to be in control while the first way may lead to Mom struggling with her daughter to keep control. Likewise, when seniors are able to express their concerns about aging to their families, while also honoring their developmental season of reflecting on the impact they have in their communities and the wisdom they bring to their families, communication opens up for honest and productive discussion. Having conversations that allow family members to feel heard and respected despite varying developmental stages leads to deepened relationships and a greater understanding of another’s perspective. Effective communication leads to family members in step with one another, balancing the need to reflect on life with the desire to look at what’s next. To learn more about this topic, please call Cristwood Retirement Community at 206-546-7576.
Live life Imagine living in a place where you’re connected to all generations, where you can be part of a vibrant community filled with people of all ages. Imagine knowing that you have all the extra help you need to stay independent and productive—and that more care is available if it is required. That is what you’ll find at Cristwood. Independent Living Assisted Living Memory Care Nursing Care Respite Care Outpatient Therapy
Call for a tour today: 206.546.7565
19303 Fremont Avenue N Shoreline, WA 98133
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It’s Not Your Grandma’s “Old-Folks Home” BY LIZ TAYLOR
ne of the most enduring legacies of the 1960s and ‘70s was the “bad old days” of poor nursing home care. Nursing homes were this country’s first official experiment in caring for frail older people, yet they couldn’t have done a worse job. The government agencies in charge were like deer in the headlights, unable to make them better. Thankfully, decades of incremental changes have made nursing homes better. While still a work in progress, many are now more caring. In the long run, though, the most important reason eldercare has improved is because, inch by inch, we have more nursing home alternatives—in-home care, retirement communities for elders who are healthy and independent, and assisted living communities and adult family homes—both for frailer older people who need more care. Rather than having one choice like we did 50 years ago, we can now choose from a variety of care and housing options, based on our needs, pocketbooks, and preferences. But here’s even better news, and it’s hot off the press: our care choices are about to explode. Why? Blame it on the baby boomers (in a good way, of course). Beginning sixty-nine years ago, nearly 80 million babies were born from 1946 to 1964, the largest generation in American history. The youngest is now 50. Eight thousand turn 65 every day. Soon they will be the largest, oldest generation in history, and they’ll want and need—and demand, as boomers have always demanded—a wide variety of good quality services as they age. It’s already happening. Overnight, the bar has been raised in many of
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our most traditional care settings. Long a source of complaints, meals have become more nourishing and tasty. Apartments—once the size of postage stamps— are getting larger. More communities now welcome pets. Activities focus on brain health, physical health and fun, not just bingo. Residential niches are being developed to serve the needs of special populations, such as gays and lesbians and cultural ethnic groups. And don’t most of us want to live where we won’t have to move as our needs change—meaning we want the care to come to us? That’s happening, too. Although some retirement communities have long required you to move out the minute you lose your keys, for example, more are offering varying additions of assistance so you can stay longer. Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs) are one of the oldest eldercare models in the United States, built on the principal that residents can move in healthy, then stay until the end. Usually the most expensive choice, CCRCs are leading the way for older people of means to enjoy many elements of high end living that never existed in retirement communities before—fine dining by culinary-school trained chefs, sumptuous décor from top designers, gorgeous views, Olympic size swimming pools, and beauty salons that pamper you to your heart’s content. One of these is Mirabella Seattle, a CCRC that was built in 2008 and is already expanding to give its residents more choices. “We emphasize whole person wellness here, “ says Steve Brudnick, Executive Director, “bringing together a myriad array of activities—yoga, water aerobics, meditation, and art classes—to serve the whole person physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.”
Other trends • Naturally Occurring Retirement Communities (NORCs) are apartment buildings where a large
number of residents have grown old together. By introducing an array of social services, education, and health care management, residents can remain independent and healthier longer. • The “Golden Girl” model, named after the 1980s TV sitcom starring Betty White and a few of her chums, involves friends sharing a house and meals. If it reminds you of the communes from the 1970s, it’s no surprise—and for much the same reasons: companionship and lower living expenses. • Co-Housing involves planned communities of homes that are clustered on a single campus, where residents (sometimes a variety of ages, other times just older people) live near each other in privacy, while meals, chores, gardening and other activities are shared. • The “Village” model of care began in the Beacon Hill neighborhood of Boston in 2001. From a central hub, village members are provided lists of vetted providers (from light-bulb replacers to plumbers to dog walkers to drivers) and social activities that keep people living in the neighborhood longer. Once rare, about 150 Villages have popped up around the country. There are three in Seattle. Like never before, older people today have some
amazing choices in how and where they spend their last decades, their third act. Keep your eyes open, for it can be a fun time to explore the possibilities. Grab a friend (or two) and have lunch at a nearby retirement community, ask lots of questions, and keep track of the answers. Knowing what your real choices are now—exploding that old nursing home myth—can open you up to a great new adventure. PHOTO: MIRABELLA SEATTLE
PHOTO: MIRABELLA SEATTLE
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Selling the Family Home Reasons to Choose Your Realtor Carefully BY REBECCA BOMANN
Rebecca Bomann is Founder and CEO of SASH Senior Home Sale Services. She has managed hundreds of home sales for SASH clients, as well as for her own older family members, and is a passionate advocate for improving the senior home sale experience.
elling one’s home after thirty, forty, or fifty years of homeownership is one of the most anticipated events of retirement. It involves not only the sale of a home, but also the enormous task of downsizing a lifetime of belongings. There are legal, financial, and health matters wrapped into it, and important decisions about future care needs. Real estate agents assisting older homeowners play a significant role in the outcome of this major life step. Unfortunately, many intensify their clients’ stress and anxiety
often provide a long list of tasks to prepare the home for market. This can backfire, especially for homeowners without the resources, outside assistance, or physical strength to carry out even a few of the listed items. Such a list might as well say, “Reasons Why Moving is a Bad Idea”, because it can be overwhelming to the point of paralysis. Under preparing the mature seller for the Internetdriven sale process Homes were once sold through newspaper ads and Open Houses, now the Internet provides an Open House 24/7 to the world. So much has changed that even a homeowner in her eighties, connected to family via e-mail and Facebook, can feel anxiety throughout the immediate and impersonal electronic home sale process. Guiding clients towards aggressive timelines Sorting, packing, and downsizing after decades of homeownership can take several months, and even a couple years. The massive task of emptying an entire house happens concurrently with the stressful process of searching for the right next home, with legal and financial decisions weighing on each step. Real estate agents ready to “make the sale” may urge their client to list the home before they (or the home) are truly ready. Lack of awareness of the homeowner’s emotional journey Most older homeowners have a strong bond of
during the selling process by being insensitive to their specific needs and limitations. They make outcome, speed, and efficiency of the sale their first priority. Older clients can experience a high-stress ordeal that drains them emotionally, physically, and financially. The home sale can become traumatic. Here are six mistakes that many Realtors make when working with older clients: Creating a lengthy to-do list Well-intentioned brokers 10 SENIORguidebook | winter 2016
familiarity and comfort with their home. Each room offers reminders of memories, stories, relationships, and events in their life. The home can be as beloved as a family member, and selling it creates profound grief. Agents accustomed to working with younger clients are not used to seeing this deep emotional attachment to a home and may dismiss it in their hurry to complete the sale. Unrealistic expectations of their client I attended a seminar where a real estate agent was addressing a room full of retirees: “When a buyer comes,” she instructed, “get all your pets into your car and go somewhere.” I winced, thinking of all of my senior clients who could no longer drive, or used a walker. There are many similar examples: “Bake a pie before a showing.” “Sweep the walkway every day.” “Eliminate all pet odors.” Depending on the age and ability of the homeowner, some of these may be impossible. (continued on page 28)
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D O WN S I Z E E Z I S T H G I R E H T TO FREE r u o y t e G ide at u G g n i z i Downs nsizing w o d / m .co eraliving
D o wn s i z
to the Righ t Size
For upcoming seminar dates, please visit eraliving.com/downsizing or call: Aljoya Mercer Island: (206) 230-0150 â&#x20AC;˘ Aljoya Thornton Place: (206) 306-7920 Whatever your passion, Era Living offers eight unique communities designed to bring you closer to everything you love. 12 SENIORguidebook | winter 2016
Right-Size Your Life Now BY CATHERINE ARENDT
ots of people are talking about downsizing their lifestyles, but how many people have actually started the process? There is a tendency to procrastinate when it comes to downsizing. When we wait until life forces us to make a change we may reluctantly have to make big and fast decisions about our household. If we wait too long to adjust our lifestyle, our options become limited and we may make choices that are less than ideal. Making a big change in your household at the same time other major life events are happening can add to your stress level. By being proactive about downsizing, we can choose a time to do it when other aspects of our life are in control. Downsizing sooner is much easier than waiting until later, and you can start to reap the benefits right away. By changing our focus from what we may lose in this process to what we will gain, we will create a life that is the right size. Right-sizing is about looking at all aspects of our life, not just our stuff, and making adjustments to who we are now, not who we once were. This is an opportunity to refine our environment and keep the items we love most and create a ‘best of the best’ lifestyle. If we take the time to think about how we would like to live and then make a plan, we will more easily accomplish our goals. Imagine if everything in our home is something we love, use every day, easy to find and keep organized, and fits in our space. Clarifying what we want to keep helps us remove the clutter of what no longer fits or contributes to making our life easier. As we begin the work of sorting through our home to find our treasures, be willing to look at things with a fresh eye. By starting to sort items that have low emotional and monetary value, we can
experience some easy successes that will motivate us to complete the process. Questions we should ask about our belongings include: • Do I love it? • Do I really need it? • Does it fit my lifestyle? • When was the last time I used it? • Does it have sentimental value? • Is it comfortable? • Is it versatile enough to work in more than one room? Our environment has a tremendous impact on our psyche. Make your home a reflection of who you are today, not who you once were. So what is the next passion waiting for you? Consider what a shame it would be to miss an opportunity because you are mired in “stuff” and routines. The lighter you are living and the less encumbered you are, the easier it will be to move forward into a new adventure. Catherine Arendt is Aljoya’s At Your Service Manager and Move Coordinator who presents “Downsize to the Right-size” workshops at Era Living communities. To attend the next presentation, or to receive Era Living’s downsize booklet, please visit: eraliving.com/downsizing
winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 13
Umbrellas…More Than Protection from the Rain Why Every Policy Holder Needs Umbrella Insurance BY FORREST DAWSON
ear is a tricky emotion. It controls us in unusual ways. My favorite response to fear is lying awake at night. The older I get the more frequently this happens. I play out my fears while everyone else in my house sleeps soundly. A recent article about “The Big One” hitting Seattle provided many sleepless nights. It’s always something right? What if my retirement nest egg doesn’t last long enough? Will my wife be able to take care of me if I get really sick? What if I hit a bicyclist or someone crossing the street with my car? My fears can be categorized into things I can control and things that are out of my control. I am unable to prevent an earthquake, but I can be prepared for it. I may not see a pedestrian in front of my car, but I can be protected if that day ever comes. There is an insurance product called a personal liability umbrella policy. Imagine that the actual umbrella you keep in your car is now big enough to shelter not just you, but your cars, home, boat, etc. The purpose of owning it is to protect all of these assets. If you are liable for critically injuring someone
and you don’t have enough liability on your auto insurance policy, that person may file a lawsuit against you, leaving your assets at risk. Liquid assets, property, wages and sometimes even retirement accounts can be turned over if you don’t have enough liability coverage. As many clients I talk to march closer to retirement, their 401K’s and ROTH IRA’s have ripened with decades of investment and time in the market. It’s important to remember that at 59 1/2 retirement accounts become liquid. You have some asset protection while leaving money in a 401K, but some people move money into other, unprotected, investments in their retirement years. Adding a personal liability umbrella policy to your insurance coverage is a relatively low cost, smart solution. Coverage typically starts at one million in liability protection and goes up from there. They are a great, cost effective way to protect what you have worked so hard to build. Most policies have endorsements that can be added if you own a rental property or boat. The policy may even cover your attorney fees if you find yourself going to court. When I began my career in the insurance industry, this is the first policy I sold myself. It was a relief to know that if I was dealt the unfortunate card of being hit with a liability lawsuit, my life wouldn’t be turned upside down. So check in with your insurance agent or financial planner to make sure your liability coverage is enough to protect what you’ve built. Having this security will quiet your mind and allow you to catch some more z’s. Forrest Dawson is a Seattle based insurance broker who’s been helping people secure their lives and protect their assets for over 10 years.
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Yauger Rd SW
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winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 15
425.673.2875 | 728 Edmonds Way | Edmonds WA
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The Seasons of Our Lives As Life Changes—Insights and Reflections on Living Life Well BY GRETCHEN M. KRAMPF
Gretchen M. Krampf is a catalyst for change. A teacher, coach, retreat host, facilitator, wisdom-seeker and community-gatherer, Gretchen delights in holding space for people as they discover their courage, develop potential and move through transitions. The mother of three, grandmother of four, she lives on Orcas Island with her husband, Paul.
t’s early afternoon and as I look out upon Fishing Bay, I notice the shifting light on the water. The days are getting shorter and autumn is moving toward winter, reminding me how Life, like the seasons, carries us through cycles of change. Change is what we can count on, and while some love change, others resist anything that disrupts their sense of routine and the familiar. Change, in the form of a move, job loss, serious health issue, end of a relationship or death of a loved one are significant life events and often precipitate a
“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that break us open and help us blossom into what we were meant to be.” —ELIZABETH LESSER period of transition that includes grief and adjustment to the loss. Change, in the form of exciting life events—a new marriage, new baby, or new job— are seen in a more positive light, yet these, too, are preceded by endings and require a period of transition. 18 SENIORguidebook | winter 2016
In those early years, the Springtime of Life, everything was fresh and new, seeded with potential and possibility. Developing capabilities, physically, mentally and relationally, through play, education and experiences, each of us changed rapidly through childhood into early adulthood. The suppleness and flexibility of youth may grant us greater ease integrating changes when we are young. Shifting into the brightness of Summer, we found ourselves in a dynamic stage of life with increasing commitments and responsibilities. Many of us focused on building our careers and businesses, committing to long-term relationships and having children. Moving toward Autumn, some of us have ended marriages, been dealing with life-altering diagnoses, and experienced our parents’ passing. Our children have grown, our interests and work may be changing and perhaps we are now grandparents. Still vital, our colors are vibrant as our energies shift and we begin sensing what lies ahead. Winter is beckoning us into our Elder stage—that of Wise Woman and Sage. Perhaps we have parents and relatives who are in their later years and, caring for them, we are beginning to see our future selves.
I was into my forties when I began noticing that the process of moving through a loss or ending didn’t result in a straight path to a new beginning. In fact, it was more like a winding road, a period of integrating the change. What helped was reading William Bridges’ classic, The Way of Transition. In it Bridges wrote “Transition is not just a nice way to say change. It is the inner process through which people come to terms with a change, as they let go of the way things used to be and reorient themselves to the way that things are now.” He named this place of uncertainty and confusion the “Neutral Zone”, where we may find ourselves feeling unsettled, unsure of our footing or the next step, low in energy and confused. In this act of passing from one state into the next, we often find ourselves transformed. How can we recognize and best care for ourselves when we are in this process of transition? In our resistance to change, we may feel stuck, paralyzed by fear, gloomy and unable to
see a way forward resulting in ongoing suffering. It takes courage to let go of the inner connections you had to the way things were. The question that always helps you to shift your focus from the change to the transition is, “What is it now time for me to let go of?” Stepping into this inquiry, through journaling, in conversation with trusted friends or counsel with professional support, you can find support and build the courage to keep going. As you discern what you are ready to release, and begin envisioning and building the next steps, create time and space for self-care, in rest, exercise and time in nature. Honor and acknowledge what is sloughing off and even create a ceremonial process to honor and release that old you. And celebrate what you are becoming. As Bridges says, “since change is a wall and transition is a gate in the wall, it’s there for you to go through. Transition represents a path to the next phase of life.” May you walk this path with ease and grace. winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 19
Making Music with Your Health BY DOUWE RIENSTRA, MD
hen we’re young, we can do pretty much what we want without thinking about our physical capacities. If we want to climb a mountain, dance all night or eat that fancy food, we can. We don’t even have to think about it. Then one day, without realizing it, we get to the stage when we need regular maintenance. Exercise becomes not a diverting option, but a requirement. Somehow I personally have arrived at that place. For years I’ve been telling other people how to maintain their bodies. Here’s how I do it.
Maintaining the Joints Over 10 years ago, without adequate preparation, I ran a foot race too enthusiastically. As a result, a disloyal knee began to hurt so much that I feared I’d never hike again. So I went right to my physical therapist. I did just what he recommended and followed the physical therapy program he laid out. Now, all these years later, every other day I still do the exercises. My knees have never bothered me again. I’m a big fan of physical therapy. The problem is how to keep the exercises up, especially after the pain goes away. The key is to find a ‘hook’ to help you exercise. My hook is to find an audiobook I enjoy, and then never let myself listen to it except when exercising. Every time I exercise, I get the reward.
Tending the Mind and Spirit The mind needs two things—activity and rest. In 20 SENIORguidebook | winter 2016
my late 20s I started one other maintenance routine, and that was to meditate twice every day. A curious mind, like a racecar, needs to go into the pits once in a while, and for me, meditation has served that purpose well. There are other ways to rest the mind: getting lost in dance or music; playing tennis or skiing—anything that takes your mind away from its ordinary concerns.
Make Beautiful Music The maintenance listed above requires no more than an hour and a quarter a day. Discipline, like muscles, strengthens with use. Discipline brings me a body that complains very little. My mind and hands consume the tasks before me rapidly. I sleep well. They say that as the Titanic sank, the band played on the deck until the last minute. When I look around at the people I spend time with, they seem to be bracing their feet on the deck to make the most beautiful music they can while time allows. So, take care of yourself, both your mind and your body. We need your music. ©2016 Douwe Rienstra, MD, who practices family medicine at the Rienstra Clinic in Port Townsend. You can read his newsletter, “Medicine for People!”, at rienstraclinic.com/newsletter. Dr Rienstra has over forty years of experience in combining western pharmaceutical medicine with natural methods.
23008 56th Ave. W. Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043 425-678-6008
13200 10th Dr. SE Mill Creek, WA 98012 425-379-8276
10519 E. Riverside Dr. Bothell, WA 98011 425-485-8900
2204 12th St. 1216 Grove St. Everett, WA 98201 Marysville, WA 98271 425-258-6408 360-322-7561 winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 21
Stay Strong Easy Inside Exercises for Short Winter Days BY KYLE CIMINSKI
intertime in Washington can be a bit gloomy and uninviting for those of us who want to workout. It can be tempting to neglect exercising, but come spring you will likely regret your decision. So focus on indoor activities and exercise routines to help burn off those extra holiday calories. Here are some simple tools and techniques to aid you in exercising at home or on the go.
Strengthen Your Heart and Body with Squats For those with limited space and equipment, try increasing your heart rate with squats. With your feet hip-width apart and your arms extended in front of your body, bend your knees as if you are going to sit in a chair while sticking out your rear. Squat down, stopping just above a ninety degree angle then stand back up with a tall posture. Continue this movement for thirty seconds then repeat three to four times with a twenty-second break in between. If you find this movement difficult because of balance issues or joint pain, do the same movement in front of a chair.
for it’s ability to pinpoint specific muscle groups and help with ease of movement. The beauty of the system is the portability and versatility to use it both outdoors and in smaller indoor areas. I recommend and use the TRX with a majority of my clientele. Learn more about TRX at www.trxtraining.com. While the weather may be wet and stormy, there is no reason to abandon your physical goals and health. Utilizing these tips and tools will keep you fit and your heart healthy, with the added benefit of making working out more enjoyable. You will thank yourself when spring begins to bloom and you are prepared for the warmer weather.
Improve Cardio and Coordination with Jumping Jacks Another movement that will get your heart rate up is the jumping jack. It is excellent for engaging both the upper and lower body, while improving coordination and motor skills. If you experience pain or discomfort in your hip or knees, alternate one leg at a time, stepping away from the body with an arm swing over head. Alternate between the right and left side. While you may need more space to complete a jumping jack than a squat, both exercises can typically be performed in your home with minimum space.
Consider Getting a TRX For those looking for a more complete workout, I would recommend one of my favorite and most versatile tools, the TRX. The TRX is a body weight suspension trainer that allows you to complete a full body workout while improving your posture, balance and strength along with cardio. Created by a Navy Seal, TRX was quickly adopted by physical therapists
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Kyle Ciminski is a Personal Trainer at Thrive Community Fitness in Anacortes. In the fitness industry for over ten years, he holds over 30 training certifications and is a Certified TRX Master Trainer. While he maintains a large client base, his specialty is injury recovery and training active seniors.
If living well is an art...then here is your canvas Discover the Finest in Independent Senior Living
• Month-to-month rent– no long term lease • Complimentary membership at the Northshore Senior Center – the largest senior center in the region • No move-in fees or large buy-in costs – just a refundable deposit to hold your apartment • Full sized washers & dryers in every apartment – no need to take your turn at a communal laundry room • Scrumptious food – breakfast, dinner and Sunday brunch is included • Spacious, light-filled apartments
At Foundation House at Bothell you’ll rediscover the YOU that you thought had been left behind. With no worries about cooking, cleaning and yard work, you’ll be free to do all the things you’d planned to do when you retired. That’s why we call it “Independent Living”. You’ll have so much independence that you can plan your day any way YOU like. You could even paint that masterpiece you’ve always wanted to do. Call us today to reserve your complimentary meal and personal tour. Mention that you saw our ad in the Senior Guidebook and receive $500 off your first month’s rent. Please call Mary Blakey or Tracy Simonson at 425.402.9606 or send an email to email@example.com A not-for-profit retirement community benefiting education
17502 102nd Avenue NE / Bothell WA 98011 425.402.9606 / www.fhbothell.com winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 23
The Dawn of a New “Age” BY LIZ TAYLOR
Liz Taylor, an eldercare specialist for 40 years, lives in the San Juan Islands, where she is semi-retired. She wrote a popular column on aging for The Seattle Times for 14 years, and has consulted with thousands of older adults and their families. Liz can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
or many of us of a certain age (let’s say approaching our fifties, into our sixties and beyond), a new beginning has dawned: for the first time, we’re starting to feel, er, “old.” That never happened before! For the last five or so decades, feeling old wasn’t on our agenda. We were the go-go Baby Boomers, dedicated to challenging society with our youth, uppity ideas, and unlimited tomorrows. Not much has changed, really…we still feel and think young. Well, yes, our ideas may be more mainstream now and our aspirations a little tamer, but really, until lately, we had no sense of our vulnerability or mortality. Then, it felt as if overnight, our parents got old. Once the vibrant center of our universe, our moms or dads—or both—began to stumble along the way, fall and then fail. It took them (and us) by surprise. Out of nowhere, there was: Mom with a broken hip, Aunt Beth with dementia and Dad with Parkinson’s, living in a house with multiple stairs and no bathroom on the main floor. No one had planned on anything changing, or doing anything different to make their lives safer or better as they aged. They hadn’t thought about it; they didn’t prepare. Nor did we for them.
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Their decline went by fits and starts, or more accurately, by thuds and trips to the ER. Now Mom needs help with meals, Dad with showering and dressing. We finally saw the writing on the wall: their lives were changing forever. Or not. A few siblings denied there was anything wrong or that we should do something. Family fights started to break out. Mom began requiring a lot more help, Dad wasn’t able to provide it and Medicare didn’t cover like we thought it would. We fumbled around wondering which direction to turn. This went on for six years. Then they died. And that was that. And then we realized—it’s our turn next.
Creating a Good Old Age Getting old isn’t like being a cute little baby and growing up. That part was our parents’ responsibility; this time it’s ours. If not us, who will plan for our needs? The reality is, a good old age requires planning, preparation and understanding of what’s likely to happen and how things work. Otherwise, getting old is like a game of roulette—it’s a matter of luck whether you win or lose and the degree of loss you’ll face. Too many people in this country experience serious losses in old age—when they could have avoided many of the common mistakes that come from ignorance and not thinking ahead. Unlike our parents, we need to embrace both the positives and negatives of aging, to keep our eyes on the horizon. We each are allotted only one life, and this is it, including the third act. When we get together in the coming months, we’ll explore some of the adventures—for better and worse—that lie ahead.
See What Everyone’s Talking About! Our “rejuvenation” is complete and it’s the talk of the town! Come by for a visit soon to see our beautiful new look and feel. Let us show you why we’re the new leader in Eastside senior living.
Independent & Assisted Living Community A Koelsch Senior Community
(425) 821-8210 12215 NE 128th Street, Kirkland www.madisonhouseretirement.com
winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 25
BEATING THE WINTER BLUES
Love Coffee? It May Help Your Heart Too
here have been a host of recent studies linking coffee consumption to improved memory, health and longevity. This is music to the ears of Western Washingtonians. There’s a reason Starbucks started in Seattle; we love our coffee. Now more good news from the American Heart Association to help us through our gray, Western Washington winter—drinking a second, or third, cup of coffee may reduce your risk of death from heart disease and other illnesses. According to a recent study reported in the American Heart Association Journal, Circulation, those who drank a moderate amount of coffee daily (more than one, but fewer than five cups a day) had a lower risk of death from a
multitude of maladies including cardiovascular and neurological diseases, diabetes, and even suicide. The results were the same for both caffeinated and decaffeinated consumption, leading researchers to believe that it’s not just caffeine providing the benefit, but naturally occurring chemical compounds in the beans. According to Dr. Ming Ding, the study’s primary author, “Bioactive compounds in coffee reduce insulin resistance and systemic inflammation.” The study suggests the need for more research. But as our short, cool, wet and gray days wear on, and my wellworn memory and energy lags, I welcome an opportunity to indulge in one more dark, steamy cup.
Brain Games Answers (Puzzles on page 32) 1. Bob Hope 2. Woody Allen 3. Orson Welles 4. John Lennon 5. Louis Pasteur 6. Lucille Ball 7. Joe DiMaggio 8. Buddha 9. Napoleon 10. Babe Ruth 11. Conan O’Brien 12. Joan Baez 1 3. Paul Anka
1. Man; Superman, Manpower 2. Store; Drugstore, Storefront 3. Shop; Pawnshop, Shopkeeper 4. Tooth; Bucktooth, Toothpaste 5. Table; Turntable, Tablecloth 6. Book; Pocketbook, Bookkeeper 7. Pipe; Stovepipe, Pipeline 8. Flower; Wallflower, Flowerpot 9. Hop; Bellhop, Hopscotch 10. Wash; Mouthwash, Washtub 11. Ring; Earring, Ringleader 12. Arm; Firearm, Armpit 13. Bath; Birdbath, Bathrobe 1 4. Horse; Hobbyhorse, Horseradish
Endings and Beginnings
1. Inks, Sink, Skin 2. Evil, Live, Veil, Vile 3. Gnus, Guns, Snug, Sung 4. Leap, Pale, Peal, Plea 5. Acres, Cares, Races, Scare 6. Caret, Cater, Crate, Trace 7. Emits, Smite, Mites, Items, Times 8. Teaks, Skate, Steak, Stake, Takes
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winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 27
Selling the Family Home (continued from page 10)
Not Enough Communication
Reimagining Senior Life in Western Washington
Growing older, reimagined. Today’s older adults are redeﬁning how to live and embrace this stage of life—our third act. We are more demanding in where, when and how we spend our retirement years. Aging also means we can face health, housing, and ﬁnancial challenges and concerns. With help and advice from Western Washington’s leading experts, our newly designed, quarterly magazine offers new thinking, and a fresh approach to retirement living, health, ﬁnance and much more.
Retired homeowners, even those with active schedules, have more time to worry than their grown children who are still working and raising a family. Lack of communication intensifies the homeowners’ anxiety during an already stressful time. They imagine the worst has happened with the sale, or they feel their needs are unattended. Selling your home after decades of homeownership is a significant life event. If managed poorly by the real estate agent it will become a permanent negative experience. Choose a real estate broker with experience, a strong reputation, and a proven track record of professional, quality services to older homeowners. You deserve an outstanding home sale experience.
At Aging.gov the Information You Need is Just One Click Away
in Western Washington Reimagining Senior Life
Not Your Grandma’s “Old-Folks Home!” PG 8
Introductory Offer. Get 4 Issues FREE! Get your FREE 1-year subscription today! Return the subscription card in this magazine or go to
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Do you need information about Medicare or Medicaid? Maybe you’re trying to figure out how to apply for Social Security, or just looking for tips on how to stay healthy as you age. The government has just launched a one-stop resource aimed at older Americans, their families, friends and caregivers to answer questions about getting older. Under the Department of Health and Human Services, aging.gov links to a broad array of federal information, including how to find local services and resources in your community for everything from healthy aging to elder justice to long-term care. © 2015 Society of Certified Senior Advisors. Reprinted by permission.
LIVING INTO YOUR DYING
The Call of Sunset BY ASHLEY T. BENEM
Ashley T Benem, Death Midwife, LMP and Minister, is the founder of the non-profit A Sacred Passing: Death Midwifery Service and the creator of The Art of Death Conference. She is an advocate for Palliative and Endof-Life Care issues in empowering and supporting families to reclaim their right to die in congruence with their lives. She offers a variety of public education for end-of-life care and training in Death Midwifery care. Contact Ashley at www.asacredpassing.com.
unset is the most magical and potent time of the day for me. All those brilliant colors warped and layered on and around each other. The vision before me is an organic, living tapestry of a whole day painted in the sky above. Each aspect of the day is woven together—present in its essence at the end. We can take a lesson from Mother Nature. What would our End of Life need to look like to contain the essence of the whole of our lives? How do we stay true to the life we have lived if our End is some distant, removed, sterilized, isolated, unattended, unimagined image? Staying true to your life requires you to look at your upcoming End, to look at Death. This End point must be looked at in order to reach it in the way you desire. As you know, your life will end with or without your consent. So, as with any other major decision, change or transition in your
life, you should really be the one orchestrating it. No one knows what you want and don’t want better than you. Do you know what your choices are? You can’t paint a very interesting painting if you believe your only tool is an orange crayon. What if you had an entire art room full of options to choose from? Your End is like that. Begin by looking at the image you have in your mind of what you think your End of Life might look like. Now, craft an image that matches the fullness of your life. Paint the mastery of your own existence into your End of Life. Planning for the End no more ensures that it will come faster than does planning to win the lottery. The first step in planning for your End of Life is writing an Advanced Directive (formerly called a Living Will). It should cover more than whether you want CPR or not. It can allow much more flexibility and creativity in your options, not simple yes or no answers. You can specify that you want to stay on artificial breathing for a week and then allow it to be turned off. You can have massage and acupuncture for pain management as well as morphine. I also encourage you to write a Death Plan. Like a Birth Plan, you choose and communicate the kind of care you need to be fully supported medically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It fills the gap between the Advanced Care Directive and funeral plan. Get specific. Pick the colors, the scents, the music, the fabrics, the whole nine yards. Craft the mastery of your own existence into your End of Life.
winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 29
Don’t Retire—Re-invent! BY JANE MEYERS-BOWEN
ld Age is a relatively new thing. Our ancestors didn’t have the opportunity to retire, they just lived and worked until their time had come. In the last century in America, we have gained over 30 years in our life span and now we’re not sure what to do with it all. So we struggle with retirement. Retirement as freedom from hard work is a fine goal for most people. Yet never working again in itself will not provide a truly fulfilling life. We must still participate in life, and in the world, just in a different way. A fear some retirees have is that they can no longer offer any true value. They do not offer their ideas, experience, or insights, fearing that they are not welcome to participate. When asked to contribute, however, amazing things can and do happen. I designed and managed a colearning project at a high school with 14 seniors and 60 history students, where the seniors came and discussed the Great Depression. Within a few minutes, the students were riveted on the topic, and the place was alive. Over a 90-minute period, something amazing happened. History became real for the students, relationships began to evolve, teenagers started to see their own lives differently. The seniors couldn’t wait for our next class, and another opportunity to participate. Baby boomers have set the agenda in our country for the last six decades. They finally understand that
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material objects, status and achievement are not as important as they once believed. Their perspective can serve as a cleaner palette for recreating a sense of purpose for future generations. Cultures can lose their way without the wisdom of their elders. Stanley Crouch describes our elders as those who can teach our adolescent society to grow up. Whether it’s teaching, mentoring, coaching, or listening and witnessing, seniors need to be present and visible in a meaningful way; both for their own well being, and that of our society. I have seen some people live their lives in fear of aging. Their focus is to not age, which is quite different than aging with grace. Facing forward rather than backward and finding new ways to participate in life helps empower older people to find their footing after retirement. Only then can true purpose emerge.
Jane Meyers-Bowen, MN, is the Marketing Director at Garden Court Retirement Community. For more information you can contact her at (425) 438-9080.
COMING ATTRACTIONS Out of the multitude of events coming our way this winter, we selected these gems for your enjoyment.
January 16 & 17 Bavarian Ice Fest More than half a million lights twinkle at this festival. Ice and snow sculptures, icebased games and activities. Front Street Park, Leavenworth. leavenworth.org 509-548-5807
17 Forever Tango Show Six world-class Argentine Tango couples, a traditional Argentine 1930s style vocalist and 11-piece orchestra. Benaroya Hall. seattlesymphony.com 206-215-4747
17–21 Improvisational Theater
12 & 13 Dog Show
A five day festival of live comedy and improvisational theatre at the Seattle Festival of Improv Theatre (SFIT). Improv workshops and master classes offered. seattleimprov.com 206-352-8291
See over 2000 dogs of all breeds competing in the Seattle Kennel Club Dog Show. CenturyLink Event Center seattledogshow.org 360-755-7086
20 Regional Yo-yo Championship Don’t miss the Pacific Northwest’s premier yo-yo event. Amazing yo-yo tricks on the Armory stage at the Seattle Center. pnwr.yoyocontest.com 206-684-7200
March 4–6 Polar Science Weekend
January 17 26–28 Herb Alpert and Lani Hall Legendary trumpeter Herb Alpert joins Grammy-winning vocalist Lani Hall for three nights at The Pacific Jazz Institute at Dimitriou’s Jazz Alley.
Hands on learning about some of the most remote places on earth. Arctic and Antarctic scientists present live demonstrations and exhibits about sea ice, polar expeditions, polar bears and more. Seattle Center’s Pacific Science Center. psc.apl.uw.edu 206-543-6613
Mar 17 to Apr 13 Moisture Festival The world’s largest comedy/variety festival. Enjoy highly skilled performances from aerialists, jugglers, comedians, dancers and clowns. Over 50 shows in three venues: Hale’s Palladium, Broadway Performance Hall, and Teatro ZinZanni. moisturefestival.com 206-297-1405
February 5 & 6 Eagle Festival Celebrate the return of the eagles to the Stillaguamish River. Emjoy live music, guided tours, poetry and photo contests, horse-drawn wagon rides and eagle viewing. Arlington. arlingtonwa.gov 360-403-3448
13 Chinese New Year Seattle’s International District celebrates the Lunar New Year with dragon dances, cultural performances, drumming, and more. cicbia.org 206-382-1197
4–6 Seattle Golf and Travel Show
18 & 19 Citizen University
The largest golf and travel event on the west coast. More than 200 exhibitors. Demo the latest golf equipment, attend seminars, receive instruction and win prizes. CenturyLink Field Event Center. seattlegolfshow.com 877-485-2899
Join hundreds of engaged citizens and change makers to learn about political power, deepen your networks, and recharge your sense of purpose. Be part of a movement to rekindle citizenship and remake the narrative of America. Fisher Pavilion Seattle Center. citizenuniversity.us 888-377-4510
11–13 Migratory Birding Festival Highlighting the migratory birds of our region. Wildlife demos, arts and crafts, gallery of bird photography, speakers, indoor and outdoor activities. Blaine. wingsoverwaterbirdingfestival.com 360-332-4544
19 State Parks Free Day On this day the State Parks will celebrate their 103rd birthday. As their gift to you, rediscover the beauty of Washington State’s 140 Parks for free. discoverpass.wa.gov 360-902-8844
Exercise your brain and have some fun with these puzzles designed to stimulate different cognitive functions.
Endings and Beginnings
Vivienne is an odd one. She has an aversion to the letters A, E, I, O, and U. Can you fix her list of famous people by putting back the missing vowels? Note: All are well known people; male or female, living or dead, and those who are known by one name, two names, or more are all acceptable. For a more challenging brain workout, try to solve this puzzle in one minute.
A compound word is made up of two smaller words, such as stopwatch or panhandle. In this game, we provide the first half of one compound word and the second half of another. Can you figure out the one word that completes them both? (If you get stuck, the first letter of the answer is provided as a hint at the bottom of the page.)
1. BB HP
2. WDY LLN
3. RSN WLLS
4. JHN LNNN
5. LS PSTR
6. LCLL BLL
7. J DMGG 8. BDDH
10. BB RTH
11. CNN BRN
12. JN BZ
13. PL NK
The letters of each word in this list can be arranged in multiple ways to form other words. We provide the word and the number of anagrams that are possible to make. 1. Inks (2)
2. Evil (3)
3. Gnus (3)
4. Leap (3)
5. Acres (3)
6. Caret (3)
7. Emits (4)
8. Teaks (4)
Hints for Endings and Beginnings: 1(m), 2(s), 3(s), 4(t), 5(t), 6(b), 7(p), 8(f), 9(h), 10(w), 11(r), 12(a), 13(b), 14(h) ÂŠ2016 Nancy Linde. Nancy is the author of the bestselling book, 399 Games, Puzzles, and Trivia Challenges Specially Designed to Keep Your Brain Young and is the creator of the website Never2Old4Games.com which is used by many senior-serving organizations including assisted living residences, independent living residences, and senior centers throughout the United States and Canada. She is currently working on a new book of games and puzzles that will be published in mid-2016. Answers on page 26
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Welcome to Dolcetto Come Visit Our Newest Addition to Bothell Landing! Construction is well under way at our Chateau Bothell Landing Campus, with our newest building, Dolcetto. Construction on Dolcetto is expected to be completed in early 2016. Some features and amenities in our new building include: • Studio, One Bedroom and Two Bedroom Apartments • Additional Dining Room Option • Underground Parking Garage • Multi-purpose Great Room and Recreation Room • Private Conference Room & Additional Library • Functional Outdoor Space & Easy Access to Existing Campus • Beautiful Views of Sammamish River and Bothell Revitalization • Month to Month and Entrance Fee options available
Pre-sales are going on now! RSVP: 425-485-1155 Reserve your apartment TODAY! Retirement Living, Assisted Living, Memory and Respite Care
Live Happier, Healthier, Longer! winter 2016 | SENIORguidebook 33
Get closer to what matters most.
Whatever your passion, Era Living offers eight unique retirement communities designed to bring you closer to everything you love. Aljoya Mercer Island (206) 230-0150 The Lakeshore South Seattle (206) 772-1200
Ida Culver House Broadview (206) 361-1989
Ida Culver House Ravenna (206) 523-7315
The Gardens at Town Square *University House Downtown Bellevue Issaquah (425) 688-1900 (425) 557-4200
*University House Wallingford (206) 545-8400
Aljoya Thornton Place (206) 306-7920
Call today for a personal visit, or view video testimonials and more at eraliving.com *Proudly affiliated with
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