The Connector
September 2017
Why so much stuff?
Everything Organized Shawn Ferguson
Last month I wrote about Storage Units and how they are a big part of downsizing. Due to so many comments and questions from all age groups on this topic, I thought I would do a
bit of a follow up to that article with ‘why’ people have so much stuff and why downsizing is so important. We are a unique society in North America. We don’t just keep items based on usefulness, we keep items based on emotion and status. Growing up we are taught by schools and parents why we need to do these things, but a lot of time its what we learn from first hand experience that leaves us with the most lasting impression. Anyone that has lived through the depression or the World Wars were taught to “waste not, want not.” And since then, generations have been taught to save and reuse with a mind set to keep what you had as it could be handed down, given to someone in need or added to a person’s wealth. People became used to
holding onto everything and only threw out what couldn’t be fixed or what was beyond use making for sizable collections. It makes me laugh to think this generation is considered the recycling generation. The truth is the generations prior were the true recycling generation as nothing went to waste and everything was reused, but now with cheaper packaging and cheaper pricing, we recycle or throw out more today than in our entire previous history as nothing is made to last. Hence the term, the “throw-away generation.” We have become a society where bigger is better. Our homes now sport huge closets that are the size of some bedrooms; homes filled with unused furniture to fill spaces and huge collections of items that
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we kept just to display. So we are caught somewhere in between. People want lots of ‘stuff’ but, ‘good” stuff. And while some remain stuck in that philosophy, there is a current trend immerging — the ‘tiny’ trend. One just has to watch HGTV to see how people are
now trying to do away with the ‘more is better’ attitude and live a more minimalistic lifestyle with smaller homes and only the bare essentials. I like the fact that people are trying to build their lives around what is important to them, rather than surround themselves with
stuff that they don’t likely need or use. So, if you are considering downsizing, please don’t assume your children want all your leftovers. Please re-purpose those items so they can keep being appreciated and will make the next family happy!
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Putting yourself first
The Insight Story Wendy Weseen
I’m guessing you might be mad at me for this column. But it’s an honest sharing of my conflict over the summer. A glaring, glowing example of kind human nature was profoundly evident during the wildfire emergency. Generosity and compassion was overwhelming. But I was unable to do all I wanted to. In early June after a spring of working hard for the planet, squeezing in some travelling, and writing during a time of self-discovery, I was overwhelmed in my life. It ended in a car accident, cracking a rib and totalling my car before I got the message to slow down. So I lacked energy and physical capacity to care for other people when the fires began. And I felt guilty. Airline attendants give instructions to put on our own oxygen mask before we help anyone else. It’s a well used but
good metaphor for this smoke and fire infused summer because we’re no good to anyone else if we aren’t breathing properly ourselves. Few situations in our daily lives mimic the wake-up call of an airplane emergency or a summer of out-of-control wildfires. It’s easy to put off self-care when urgent life-depending demands literally land on our doorstep. Messages flood Facebook pages urging us to look after ourselves; almost like a new spiritual practice. At the same time, a new friendship mythology recites that “we should always be there for others,” and “true friends do not desert another friend.” None tell us what to do about the inevitable conflict of needs in our relationships with community, friends, lovers, and family. We’re trained to put other’s needs ahead of our own and mostly thank goodness for that. But I suffer guilt when I might be doing less than I am able or when I imagine I fall short of what is expected; I worry people (whoever they are) will think badly of me. It’s hard to balance self-care with the care of others and to judge when to consciously put one’s
own needs aside and pull from hidden resources and how much. This summer, I hadn’t been getting the oxygen I needed to sustain myself but at some level I knew taking care of myself was neither selfish nor indulgent; it was just plain practical. By consciously balancing and quietening the inner critical voices, I was able to do both within limits. However, saying both “yes” and “no” to someone else in order to include care for myself takes gracious, kind and honest language. It helps to remember the oxygen metaphor when caring for oneself. And self-care can be interspersed with care for others by sustaining small daily acts — time at the beginning and end of each day to meditate, a commitment to gratitude, soothing hot baths, making sure you eat properly, an evening of socializing, talking to a friend, and just being. Whatever you decide, making some small gesture that puts yourself first every day will pay off in spades for you and the ones you love. The oxygen you need is all around you; sometimes we need to be reminded to breathe.
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