Shizuku Kawahara “Collection of Recollection”

Sometimes we don't realize how valuable a moment is until it becomes a memory. We tend to cling to and find a greater value on memories that are emotionally attached to us. The corpus of work exhibited takes on the scope of memory and recollection. The seven pieces explore how time and emotions interact and affect when memories are formed, forgotten/lost, and collide with one another. The works are tied together with the consistent presence of human subject matters and the color white which denotes many concepts such as emptiness, starkness, and innocence, among other things. The focus is on the content of childhood and past experiences. The initial conceptualization of the exhibition was influenced by boxes full of pictures, cards, and drawings from my childhood which were found in my house while tidying up as I moved back to Tokyo from Jakarta. Forgotten and faded memories were excavated; it was like digging up the antiquity treasure. The objective motifs portrayed in each piece allude to the memory functioning as storage including the bowl in Storage, A Bowl of Emotions, and the frame in Fading. Also, objects installed in some works suggest my personal connection to this theme such as Yukata in Inherited Nostalgia. My interest in the simplistic, yet complex idea of recalling memories led me to experience with, eventually pursue this theme by creating artworks based upon how memories are stored and moments captured in pictures.

Each medium is used to enrich the broad concept of memory and recollection, including charcoal, ceramics, filmmaking, mixed media collage, textile construction, and plaster. For instance, in past/present/future suggests the retention of information over time changes and influence present and future symbolized by geometric shapes such as circle (happiness which how I remember my childhood), square (stability which I have and need in present), and downward triangle (danger which I may face in the future). The arrangement of my artworks in this exhibition is intended to lead the audience through a series of scattered memories inside of the human brain. Beginning with the acrylic painting, Growth, leading into the sculpture on the wall, Mired in the Past which captures aging with a layer of the past memory. The video, A Bowl of Emotions, which actively shows the change in emotion is displayed through a projector on the wall to draw the audience’s eyes above eye level. The flow of eye level continuously shifts, followed by Storage, a ceramic piece manifesting memory storage in humans. The centerpiece of this exhibition, Fading, which illustrates the reminiscence of cherished yet faded childhood memories, invites the audience to the heart of scattered memory which pulls and connects patchy memories together by the threads. Placed on the left is a drawing series of past/present/future which depicts the influence on present and future by constructed memory over time. Finally, finishing off with the biggest piece out of all, Inherited Nostalgia, a depiction of fragile and nostalgic memories which have a special place in my heart. Although memories are constructed and forgotten chronologically, the arrangement of my artworks was intentionally not in chronological order. This deliberate position of the pieces was to emphasize that remembering is not linear and memories are scattered and patchy.

My works are a pinnacle of influences drawn from a variety of sources, including artists, artworks, ideas, and styles. Including the artworks by Francis Bacon, Johnson Tsang, Annegret Soltau, Beili Liu, along with others. In my own concepts and artworks, I have included a variety of features such as integration of geometric shapes in past/present/future, the use of plaster in Inherited Nostalgia and Mired in the Past, and unique and effective use of the medium in Fading. The ultimate goal is for the audience to be taken on a journey of making personal connections with reminiscences. The audience's immersion in recollections would be similar to my own process of developing the pieces. I hope that the individual audiences sympathize, find and see themselves within my art. And hoping that my pieces are stimulating enough to prompt the audience to recall forgotten episodic memories, ponder on childhood experiences, and indulge in reminiscences as I did throughout creating the pieces.

Memory can be manipulated or forgotten over time. They become dull, and new memories build up. And to fill in the new, space must be empty; brain and mind are like an empty canvas without memories constructed. Inspired by Johnson Tsang’s Open Mind VI (2016), a human face is featured in the center of the bowl. Glazed all in off-white and a neutral facial expression is captured on the face which doesn’t define what it’s feeling, therefore, a sense of one’s mind is a blank canvas is depicted.

Mired in the Past (2022)

As a psychic can tell one’s past and predict the future by palmistry, wrinkles are not just lines creasing on a surface; it is a way to identify and even narrate a person’s history and past. Inspired by both Johnson Tsang’s Open Mind VI (2016) and Beili Liu’s Each and Every (2019), a face placed in the center and a fabric molded with plaster. The fabric covering over the face mirrors how one can be trapped by a past experience. Thus, this captures aging with a layer of the past memory: wrinkles.

past/present/future (2021)

Is memory past or present? It appears to be inert as if it is stuck in the past. Yet, memory is dynamic and links the three dimensions: evoked in the present, refers to the past, but always views the future. Inspired by Francis Bacon's THREE STUDIES OF MURIEL BELCHER (1989), three faces face different directions, mirroring the past, present, and future from left to right. The circle, square, and downward triangle, symbolize innocence, stability, and danger which represents each dimension.

Fading (2022)

A Bowl of Emotions (2021)

Episodic memory, a recollection of personal experience at specific times and places, which are autobiographical is more likely to be of emotional events with greater detail. Thus, memory is frequently and heavily associated with emotions. The act of pouring colored water into the bowl is consistent with the act of constructing memories with emotions. The water nearly drowns the face symbolizes when emotions take control. Joy, anger, disgust, sadness, and hope are all represented by each color.

Sometimes, it is hard to make one’s recall clear even if photos from the past capture the moment. Inspired by Annegret Soltau’s Study book 59, threads tie pictures together inside of my “head” – the frame. The photos include me, my mother, and my sisters and one of the memories from my childhood has become fuzzy as time passed. The smudged acrylic paint on the faces and white threads reveals my remembrances and the colorful threads hint at the cherished aspects within the feeling of loss.

Inherited Nostalgia (2022)

Yukata – a traditional Japanese summer garment – recalls a sentimental memory of holding my Obaachan (grandma) ’s hand in a summer festival. Like so, childhood memories are soft, light, and fragile. Inspired by Each and Every (2019) by Beili Liu, with a wish that the nostalgia and my memory with Obaachan stays firmly, Yukata is molded with plaster. Color white embodies childhood innocence and purity. Yukata is often hand made and passed from generation to generation; inheritance of memory.