Marinus (English version)

Page 1

Where do all the children go



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Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®

Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM

Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Marinus opens his eyes very carefully. He takes a deep breath.

It is very quiet and dark around him. Where can he be?

Marinus lifts his head and tries to hear something. He notices that somebody is there with him.

He takes another deep breath and decides to talk to the somebody and ask the one whom he doesn‘t know yet...

Where... am I? It‘s... like a sting...

Don‘t be afraid my child!

Where are you?

I am with you.

Whoare you?

I am who I am. I do not change. I am always there.

Whatare you doing here?

I take care of you. I will never leave youalone.

How did Igethere?

You wereentrusted to someone who co uld not carry you.

Humans have a word for this:

»The circu m stances weren‘tgood

Whoam I? – Am I a human being?

Yes, youare.

Why am I a humanbeing?

Every part of youIplannedperfectly, I createdyou. Youaresimilar to me.

from your little toe uptothetipofyour hair, Imadeeverypart of you.

Are you also a human being?

No. I am who I am.
I am God, the one who created everything. I am your creator.

Whydid somebodynot wanttohaveme even thoughI‘m soperfect?

I wantedyoujust t he way you are.
Butpeople have their ownideasofwhat ‘srightand what‘s not right.

Why did yo u do that?

If you told thepeople w hat i s ir hg t , t h e n m any t hings would be d ifferent .

I always told the people about myself. They know fro m me what‘s right. But sometimes they decide against that.
Maybe the people still haven‘t understood who you are. Maybeyou have to tell them clearly that you are there
Maybe you should showthemhow you are. I think you‘renice even though I was upset with youaminuteago.
and what you want ofthem.

Thankyou! I think you‘re nice,too!

You know, a long time ago Isent my son Jesus into this world.

Jesus showed the people my will clearly.

Since then it has been very clear who I am.

But some people don‘t understand that.

Where was I before I came here?

You were in your mommy‘s womb. I had planted you there.

She expected you together with your daddy.

You were taken out of her womb and died.

Allsmallchildren who die come to me andcontinueto live here. Iwillwipe every tear from their eyes.Therewillbenomore death or mourning or crying or pain.


What a bout my mommy

with You, when she dies? And my daddy?

If your mommy and your daddybelieveinmeandmysonJesus, they will alsobewithmeforever.


you up


or my daddy?

For this is not how I had planned their lives. I want them to alwaysprosper andhave true joy. But now they are not doing well.
I am sad .

What? You would not punish them?

After all, I‘m no longer with myparents.

I love them s o much.
I would like to forgive them, if only they wanted that.

For I so loved the world that I gave my one and onlySon, that whoever believes in him shall not perishbuthave eternallife.

Then I w is h t hat you wouldshow my mommy and daddy thatyoulove them!


Believe me, my child, I do everthing Theirearsare often deaf and their eyes blind for it.
to show them howmuchtheymeanto me. But I never give

What is God like?

Many people ask themselves, whether there really is a God. And if so, what he‘s like. Is he maybe far away, absent, not interested in our lives? Or possibly mean and waiting to punish us for our mistakes? Everyone has their own ideas which have shaped them. While searching for God and his character it makes sense to look into the Bible. God is described there in all his facets. The Bible is nothing other than God‘s (love-)story to the people. Whoever wants to know what God is like, can‘t find an answer without looking into the Bible.

God the creator

At the beginning of the Bible we read how it was God who created the universe, the earth and all life. The whole creation carries God‘s fingerprint. Everything came from his idea and creativity. And we humans are the crown of his creation. We aren‘t random products but originate out of God‘s thoughts. He wanted us. Every person is wanted by God. We are created in the image of God. This gives us value and dignity.

Genesis 1:26-27

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Psalms 139:13-18

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

A God of Love

An unmistakable trait of God is that he is a God of love. In God we find the purest love imaginable. He is the origin of love. He is the inventor of love. God‘s love always searches for someone to share it with and finds that in us humans. God loves people! Every single one. It doesn‘t matter whether


we believe in him or not. It doesn‘t matter how “good” we are or how much guilt we carry around with us. It doesn‘t matter whether we are healthy, sick or disabled. God‘s love is for us and nothing can cause him to take it back or revoke it. His love for us is rock solid even if we may feel unloved. The proof of God‘s love culminated in him sending his son Jesus Christ onto this earth to sacrifice his life for us on the cross. God‘s love for us is more than empty words. He let his love cost him a high price!

1 John 4:7-10

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

A God who empathizes

Because God made us and loves us from the bottom of his heart, he cares about us. He can empathize with us and cares how we live and how we feel. Even though he is God, he can feel our human pain and needs. In Jesus Christ God experienced being human himself. Who, if not he, knows hopelessness, loneliness and helplessness. Even if other people can‘t always feel what we are going through, God can!

Hebrews 4:15

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.

The human and his problem

God didn‘t create the human as a remote-controlled robot who only does what God wants. The human is fitted with a free will. This is part of the dignity that God gave him. This means that he is free to choose between good and evil. Sadly, he often chooses evil. Beginning with Adam and Eve and continuing through all of humanity up until our present lives: Often we don‘t ask about God who made us or intentionally rebel against him and his commandments by breaking them. The Bible calls this sin. Sin separates us from God. It makes a relationship with him impossible. The relationship between God, the creator, and the crown of his creation, the human, was ruined by the sins of the human beings.

Sin expresses itself differently with everyone. There is no point in comparing oneself thinking that the other peoples‘ sins are much worse. In the end there is not a single person who lives without sin and can come anywhere close to God‘s holy standard. Whoever is honest with himself will recognize his own sin against God and other people. Every one of us is guilty!

One day God will judge the sins of all people. The punishment will be eternal death, eternal separation from God.

Romans 5:12

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned.

Mark 7:20-22

(Jesus) went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.

The solution of the problem

We humans aren‘t able to solve our sin-problem ourselves. All attempts of self-redemption are sure to fail. The sin which we have loaded upon ourselves not only stands between us and God, but also has a destructive impact on ourselves and our relationships to other people. We need redemption from someone else. There is no other way!

God suffers from the fact that his human children go their own way. He longs for a healed relationship with them. He would love to see that people are free and able to live from a loving relationship with him.

This great love caused God to do everything necessary himself to completely solve the sin-problem of humans once and for all. That was the reason that about 2,000 years ago he sent his son Jesus Christ onto this earth. He wanted to show all people, how much God loves them and how kind he is to them. In his death upon the cross God‘s sinless son voluntarily carried the just punishment for the sins of all people: death. He died in the place of all other people - he sacrificed his own life out of love for us.

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

2 Corinthians 5:21

God made him who had no sin to be sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Trusting God‘s solution

God himself came to people and built a bridge for them. Now the way to God is free again! A new life has become possible! A life of freedom, forgiveness and joy. A life full of hope and a new perspective.

But it is up to every person individually whether he wants to go across this bridge. Everyone can and must decide for himself whether he trusts that this bridge really exists in the person of Jesus Christ and that this bridge will really carry him. The Bible calls this step of trust “faith” and invites us to it in many places. God gave us Jesus Christ as a present. This present is for every person. But it is up to us to unwrap it!

John 14:6

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Ephesians 2:8-9

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Which meaning can this present have for your life?

Maybe if you have had an abortion, you are wondering whether everything said also applies to your situation.

The answer is a definite: YES!

This offer of God is not just for a few select people, but really for every person. It doesn‘t matter how your life has gone so far. It doesn‘t matter whether you‘ve been asking about God or not. It doesn‘t matter how the abortion came about. God wants to forgive you, free you from your sin and enable you a life full of hope. This is because he loves you with all his heart!

Jeremiah 29:11-13

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.[…]”

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!

And the babies?

Perhaps you are asking yourself: what happened to the aborted babies? Where are they now? You can trust that they are with God now, since they didn‘t even have the possibility to cross over

the bridge “Jesus Christ” through a decision by faith.

Now they are close to God. There, there is no sorrow and there aren‘t any tears, only security and love.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

The decision

You can‘t reverse what has already happened. No matter how much you may wish to do so. The only thing you can do, is to choose now how to deal with the past. God invites you to entrust him with your burdens, your story and your life. He longs so much for you to come to him in complete trust and begin to talk to him and get to know him better. He can turn brokenness and pain into healing and restoration. Trust him!

If you want to take this step into a relationship with God, I suggest you speak the following prayer: Jesus Christ,

I accept your invitation and come to you with all my sins, with all my guilt. Please forgive me!

I thank you for dying on the cross for me. I turn away from all evil and turn to you, Lord Jesus.

I put my trust in you. You are the son of the living God. Thank you, that you were resurrected from the dead and are alive. You are my redeemer, my Lord and my God.

I thank you for accepting me as your child. I open myself for your Holy Spirit and want to follow you all my life.

In Jesus‘ name!


Don‘t stay alone with your newly found faith in God. Seek contact to Christians and a church.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best and God‘s blessings for the rest of your life.


There are situations, in which you don‘t have enough strength. In some situations, you just don‘t know where to get the strength to carry on. You feel inhibited and pressured. You have to make a decision, you alone. This decision has far-reaching consequences and also affects the lives of other people.

I know this kind of situation. In 2005 I was pregnant and my unborn child was diagnosed with “exencephalus”. In my life situation at that time I couldn‘t imagine giving birth to the child and then watch it die. The doctors gave me little hope that a child could survive without a skullcap. So, I aborted my child in the 14th week of my pregnancy.

His name was Luca. He was only as big as my thumb. Yet he still was a complete person even though he didn‘t have a skull and was not able to survive without me. Even though I didn‘t believe in God, I got together with a Lutheran pastor for a small funeral on my grandmother‘s grave.

That I had taken my child out of the protective shell of my body, caused me to have deep sadness and depresssion the following four years. I felt that I had done something that in some way wasn‘t right.

I had lived over 30 years of my life without God and hadn‘t really asked about him. I just always did, what I felt was right. Sometimes that went well, sometimes it didn‘t.

In the end I always felt lonely, even when I was around other people. I pushed the thought, that God could exist, far away and considered it the imagination of simple-minded people.

Often, I talked about God with my best friend. She had just come to faith and I was her discussion“victim”. Even though the repetitive hints annoyed me, I felt a longing become stronger within me. I had felt that longing in the past. But so far there hadn‘t been anyone who could fill that emptiness.

Frequently, I thought about what it would be like if God existed. Would he be able to see everything? Would he then know everything? How would he feel about me? My self-image at that time was such that I could not imagine anyone loving me to the end of this world and past it. If that was already impossible for people, how should it be possible for God?

One evening, as I was lying in bed, fear of death overcame me. This same fear had plagued me as a child and at other times throughout my life. That evening I was more desperate than ever before. My whole life seemed so pointless to me. Through my friend I had found out that every person can talk to God at any time through a prayer. I prayed: “Jesus, if you really exist, make this fear go away!”

Within seconds the fear which had been tormenting me since my childhood was gone. Jesus had

heard my prayer and freed me from my fear. The God, who created everything, had listened to me! That was a true miracle!

The wish to get to know Jesus grew in me. I began to pray regularly. I read the Bible. I went to church. And so, I got to know Jesus better and better – and I still do so to this day.

A few months after becoming a Christian I was absorbed in praying and had the courage to give God my sin and pain regarding the abortion. He forgave my sin and healed my wounds.

I know that Luca is with God, in his protecting hand. I can look forward now.

That is my wish for you: that you are able to look forward, I wish that you would accept God‘s friendly hand and dive into his love. I also pray for this book in your hands that God will use it to help you.

In the appendix you will find a list of addresses. The people behind them will gladly listen to you. The organization “Sei Willkommen e.V.”, that distributes the book “Marinus”, will gladly help you further if you are looking for Christian organizations and confidential pastoral care close to you.

God has good thoughts about you, even if you may not believe it (yet).

May the Lord bless you and give you his peace!

Helpful addresses and links

In the printed edition of the German version of this book there is a list of helpful addresses and links.

This list is also accessible via our homepage:

About Hannah

The authors and contributors to this book come from the area of North Rhine-Westphalia. They call themselves “Hannah” as a team and together they all stand behind the form and contents of “Marinus”.

“They” are the author/affected person (responsible for the story and epilogue), the pastor of the protestant free church (annotations), the illustator and staff members of Weißes Kreuz e.V. (who supported the creation of the book through their consultation).

The association “Sei Willkommen e.V.” distributes the book “Marinus”.

If you have any questions, remarks or suggestions, feel free to contact the association:

Sei Willkommen e.V.

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