HERE???"

People will notice-I had read multiple articles and blogs by people who had already gone through this and had a pretty good sense that I was mentally prepared to see myself in the mirror each day as my hair grew out However, I was not prepared for the comments I got from people who weren’t around me on a regular basis when they encountered my “situation.” “Ummmmm…what’s going on HERE???” I remember my brother asking while gesturing in the general direction of my head, eyes wide with concern that an intervention might be in order. I was happy to find that these comments did not bother me, but it’s helpful to know to expect this ahead of time.

Creating a timeline

Transition time will vary depending on your “pain point” with various aspects of the process. My primary goal was to avoid additional time messing with my hair, so I chose not to do any blending over time, but there are many ways to ease into it with the help of a good stylist/colorist

If you don’t have the time or money to go that route, hats, ponytails, scarves, etc. are your best friends! If I were single and didn’t have other people’s feelings to consider (contrary to what my husband thinks), I would have cut my hair short to minimize the time it took to grow out the gray, but the added “trauma” (insert eye roll here) of having a wife with striped AND short hair felt too cruel, so I kept my hair shoulderlength. I’m fortunate that the texture and color of my hair grew out nicely. I had the mindset that I needed to see it mostly grown out before deciding whether to live with the results, and I knew I could return to coloring anytime I wanted

It took about a year and a half to grow out completely (in time to not completely ruin the grad pics), and I have been pleased with the results.

Sharon Evans

Well, hello, menopause! I just celebrated my 50th birthday, and you arrived right on time. Your reputation precedes you. Hot flashes, skin changes, irritability –you’ve brought it all My older gal pals had you pegged, and now it’s my turn I’ve got something you didn’t expect, though. I’ve been hanging around with a group called Fat Girls Hiking While we’ve been walking the trails, I’ve learned some pretty potent lessons about becoming friends with my body Turns out, I’m more prepared for this transition than I thought. Here are a few things I’ve learned

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE VIEW

Finding those wide-open views on our hikes brings perspective Suddenly, it’s not about the size of my body anymore. I suspect the same will be true as I connect with women who’ve already trekked the menopause journey. When we get together, we won’t have to lament our changing bodies A vast view of life is opening up for me, and I’ll get to explore new paths with them

Modification Is My Superpower

When I’m hiking, I’m out there, and I’m doing it the way that works for me. Using hiking poles, taking inclines slow and easy, and listening to my body when it wants to rest these are decisions that have become second nature They were nurtured within the safe, validating space we create on our hikes. I look forward to joining a community of strong women who have learned to let go of the fight with limits. There are a lot of smart, sage secrets out there to living well in my third trimester of life I’m all ears

I Am Not Alone

Hiking with a group of people who look like me has transformed how I live in my body. I’ve met folks who want to enjoy nature without comparison or qualification. We arrive at the trailhead just as we are It’s not about what we’re not This is the way I want to live in my later years Getting older doesn’t have to be about what I’m losing In fact, I’m excited to discover what wisdom older women have to give me.

The way I see it, menopause, you’re outnumbered. I have so many older women in my life who are rocking it. Hiking with Fat Girls Hiking has given me a head start at tweaking how I think about my body I have a lot to be inspired about I’ll keep watching for the next adventure around the bend

Shelby Humphrey

THE STAY-AT-HOMEGIRLFRIEND TREND: ANTI FEMINISM OR YOUN

There is a trend among young straight women today to stay home and take care of the housework, the meals, and the other various needs of their men. It’s plastered all over social media, particularly Tik Tok, and dubbed: The Stay-as-Home Girlfriend trend. Some feel this is living the dream, others feel this trend is antifeminist

Most of these women are about what you’d expect – young, blonde, beautiful, perfectly tanned, and exceedingly thin. Evidently, this trend has no room for gray-haired, middle-aged chubsters

Homemakers, minus the kids

I did something very similar to this when I was young, only it was back when people had kids, so I was called a “Stay at home mom” (Please note that I always had a part-time job I just worked around when my kids’ dad was home to avoid daycare costs, and when the kids were school-age, I did home-demo and eventually got a job at their school to have the same hours they did)

I endured a lot of the same heat that these women are getting. “Oh, I could never do that, I have to have my career,” or “Don’t you get bored?”

Do you work?

Now, these women don’t have children, so these probing questions might be more apt, but honestly, if anyone is bored staying at home as opposed to working outside the home, that’s on them. There is NEVER a shortage of things to do – whether you have kids or you don’t – and there have never been more opportunities for exploring hobbies, activities, and passions.

While it may be semantics, the first thing I’d like to address is the inevitable question when someone first meets you, and you’ve chosen to stay at home When someone asked me during my quasi-stay-at-home stint, “Do you work?” it used to make me grind my teeth.

The correct way to phrase this question is, “Do you work outside the home?” Staying at home is no picnic, particularly if you have kids – and it’s a shit-ton of work. Only this brand of work doesn’t come with Google-inspired break rooms with bean bag chairs, healthy snacks, and a ping-pong table It doesn’t come with vacation days, sick days, mental health days, or flex days It doesn’t come with straight time, overtime, salaries, or bonuses. The work doesn’t stop at 5:00 p.m., it typically rolls straight through to bedtime.

The girlfriend zone

One of the reasons feminists are questioning this trend is because the women are girlfriends – not wives – meaning they will be left with nothing should their Sugar Daddy tell them to “GIT.” This argument is valid, however, many of these women seem to be making a living on social media videoing their lifestyle, and they may have other streams of revenue like selling pictures of their feet on fetish sites, a robust Only Fans profile, or rich parents Who knows? Also, the men in these situations seem extremely happy as this trend appears to feed male egos heartily These women don’t appear to have much to worry about.

The other online observation many make is that many of these women seem to be flirting with eating disorders, existing on a steady diet of celery juice and flax seed That is also a valid observation, and problematic since these videos are consumed by all age groups of women Let’s be honest, though, you don’t have to be a stayat-home girlfriend to fall short of the normal guidelines for proper nutrition.

I guess what I’m ultimately driving at is that this trend seems to be the pinnacle of feminism, is it not? I mean, eating disorders and uncertain finances aside, these women are making a choice to do what they want, and they are happy doing it Just because it doesn’t fit within the confines and definition of modern feminism, aren’t they living their best lives?

People are hung up on the fact that these women aren’t married, to which I say EXACTLY They can LEAVE whenever they want The men in these situations, however, are still expected to work a normal job to support this trend, something the woman doesn’t have to do. I say these women have got shit figured out, as long as they are happy, healthy, and are saving for a rainy day should the bottom ever fall out of their relationship

Midlife chubsters need not apply

Let me put it this way If some guy came into my life and said, “Hey, if you wanna take care of the house and errands while I earn the dough,” I think I’d say, “F*ck to the yes.” I would spend a small portion of my day doing what I already do, which is mindless, unrewarding chores like laundry and dishes and bed-making The rest of the day, I’d have the financial freedom to build my media empire, instead of having to shoehorn it in and around my paying job. I’ve been helping other people and lining other people’s pockets my whole life. At this stage of the game, I’d be ALL about letting someone else worry about the money for a while

Unfortunately, as I stated, this trend doesn’t seem to be hiring midlife, menopausal women, so I guess I’ll continue to do what these women do, only around a full-time job and with the adult responsibilities of bill-paying