VOLUME 11, NO. 26 | JULY 28, 2011 by Second Supper

INSIDE...

Root Note Reopens La Crosse's Free Press

Page 11

SUBMITTED PHOTO

VOLUME 11, NO. 26 | JULY 28, 2011

A fair like no other

Page 5

PLUS: FIRE FIGHT RESPONSE • PAGE 2 | ROAD HOUSE REVIEW • PAGE 6 | CONCORDIA ROCKS! • PAGE 7

2// July 28, 2011

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Letter to the Editor

wednesdays 6pm–8pm $8 public $5 members/students

VARIETY OF MODELS , RANGE OF POSES ALL MEDIA & LEVELS WELCOME VITAMIN STUDIO

ArtVitamin.org 129 s. 6th st. la crosse

NAME AND AGE: Andrea Fisher, 38

Social Networking

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Cleveland, OH CURRENT JOB: Owner of LARK in Downtown LAX and clothing designer of own label "Andrea Fisher Designs" DREAM JOB: Pretty darn close to it now — just would like to be a bigger and better version — supporting and carrying local, independent and respectable designers and manufacturers of fashion.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Must not be current enough because I can't remember the title — must be time for a new one.

TELL US A JOKE: What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes? A Funny Bunny — always have a clean one for the youngsters. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Groceries — including some snacks for Erica and Greg's get together. WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: A handy retractable razor knife — was opening a fabric roll. IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? Probably a calmer and easier world.

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Tough one — either kicking it beachside, sunny and warm, or a European big city.

WHAT PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH? An American pioneer — how did they make it so far out here?

WHAT IS YOUR PET PEEVE? Assumptions — they always tend to be wrong. WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Bloody Mary's are rising in the rank. CELEBRITY CRUSH: The question is, crush enough to join the fanclub.....it's been awhile but it has been done.

seated directly behind me — to the one — refused to even touch what I was offering to them, and all of them (was this choreographed beforehand? — I later asked myself) began heckling its content and mocking its author. One of them even had ready to show me- — almost instantaneously- — a digital photo of Mr. Forseth accompanied by someone he identified as the brother of the mayor — and both with expressions (how naughty!) of inebriation. An insinuation by one of these (shall I baptize them as the “Jackal Squad”?) was that the informant for the article was none other than the mayor himself. Obviously, respect for the mayor with this group does not run too deep. (And predictably even more so now that the mayor is leading the effort to resurrect an effective residency requirement for city employees — I distinctly remember the firemen’s angry opposition to a residency requirement some 20 years ago.) Then the meeting was called to order by the very soft-spoken Councilman Olson. And then the Tribune reporter stealthfully took her seat. And then yet another deluge of information delivered by a Fire Department official. So here is my wish-list for the next few months: First, that Chief Cleveland order the Jackal Squad to stay in their fire stations during these public meetings so that there is no suggestion whatsoever of intimidation. Second, that at least a few of the “Good Citizens” become involved with these issues at hand. Third, that the city-council persons constituting this committee demonstrate as much an understanding of the information as that by Mr. Forseth. And fourth, that Mr. Forseth is proven totally wrong in his fear that “city council is too scared to make an unpopular decision” when it comes to the Fire Department.

— Jack Degnan

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE? I do have a thing for doughnuts.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Proper pattern placement when cutting on the bias — all same direction or opposites?

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Retire — and figure out how to make a good lemon meringue pie.

Dear Editor: Kudos to Eric Forseth for his bold Second Supper article (July 14, 2011 on the La Crosse Fire Department that is bound to provoke discussion. I have hardly been a supporter of Mayor Matt Harder: I supported Dorothy Leonard in the election against him two years ago, and then last year my name appeared — along with 100 or so other “Good Citizens” — on the petition that led to a slap-on-the-wrist for the mayor’s “unethical” dealings with the county’s solid waste coordinator. But with regard to the issues surrounding the Fire Department, I find myself a supporter of our young and determined mayor. I have also been present at three (of the four?) recent meetings of the special city-council committee that is evaluating the functions and budget of the Fire Department. The issues are too complex to address here, but I will give a few impressions. Attending the July 20 meeting were four “top brass” from the Fire Department and a minimum of five other un-uniformed employees; also, there were at least three independent observers (I was one). The Tribune’s reporter showed up five minutes into the agenda — having totally missed possibly the most interesting events that transpired. Two minutes before the meeting began, I distributed 18 copies of the Second Supper article to those present. To all appearances, none of the six or seven city council persons had read the article, and (sorry to tell you this!) several of them gave me the impression that they didn’t even know about the existence of Second Supper. More interesting — in contrast — was the article’s reception by the firemen present. Whereas Chief Cleveland and his uniformed sub-chiefs silently received the article, hardly glancing at it, the five un-uniformed firemen

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Go Go's with Flock of Seagulls — the Flock was a big hit. Go Go's — not so much WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? You truly have a great front page article — 90 percent of the time at least — I like your politics. HOW DO YOU KNOW ERICA? DMI — Downtown Mainstreet — she keeps us merchants in the know. — Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

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Second Supper

Things To Do

Get the blues in Prairie du Chien

The Top Coulee Region rivers 1. Kickapoo 2. Mississippi 3. Bad Axe 4. Black 5. Root 6. La Crosse 7. Trempealeau Political pervs 1. Larry Craig 2. Andrew Weiner 3. Mark Foley 4. Eliot Spitzer 5. Bob Packwood 6. David Wu 7. Bill Clinton

July 28, 2011 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Summertime blues got you down? That’s all the more reason to take a cruise down the River Road to Prairie du Chien’s Prairie Dog Blues Festival! The two day-event, happening this Friday and Saturday, features two stages of 12 regional and national blues groups and artists of every kind, from Texas boogie to gospel to hard-driving blues and many more. Tickets are available at the gate for $30 for one day and $50 for both days. Camping is also available for $60 at the gate (includes both days). Check out prairiedogblues.com for more information, and get ready to rock out with some knock-out musicians.

Raise a toast for the ta-tas

Here at Second Supper, we’ve rarely been known to turn down a good drink...especially if that drink supports as good of a cause as healthy breasts. That’s why tonight’s Steppin’ Out in Pink Wine and Beer Tasting event is right up our alley. Get your drink on, place some bids in a silent auction, and mingle with some fine folks at the Cargill Room in Riverside Center South from 5:30 until 8 p.m. Tickets are $30, or two for $50, and are available at Festival Foods, Gundersen Lutheran Credit Union, Gundersen Lutheran Medical Foundation, or at gundluth.org/steppinout. All proceeds go to breast cancer research through the Norma J. Vinger Center for Breast Care at Gundersen Lutheran.

Shake your Bollywood

Improve your moves at this Saturday’s Bollywood/Indian Dance Workshop! Instructor Puja Mehta will teach you and your friends the hottest moves from the other side of the world during this totally free class, which takes place at 1 p.m. at the Moonlight Dance Studio in downtown La Crosse. Crank that Lata Mangeshkar and let loose!

Go green

Get your art fix this weekend at UW-La Crosse’s 53rd Annual Art Fair on the Green. View works in a variety of media by professional artists from throughout the country. Your $4 admission goes to help fund scholarships for future and current students at La Crosse’s universities as well as Western Technical College. The event runs from 10-5 p.m. on Saturday and 10-4 p.m. on Sunday, so get while the gettin’s good!

Eat derby girl cookies

Come and see what the ladies of Mississippi Valley Mayhem have cooking! This Saturday, July 30, La Crosse’s original roller derby team is hosting a fundraiser from 7 a.m. until 3 p.m. at 2132 Johnson St., in La Crosse. Members of the team will be selling baked goods and derby merch, as well as items from a multifamily rummage sale. Proceeds will go to benefit Mississippi Valley Mayhem. Go debry!

4// July 28, 2011

Second Supper

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Second Supper

COMMUNITY

July 28, 2011 // 5

A fair like no other

The Kickapoo Country Fair celebrates the finer side of eating, organic living and Vernon County By Ben DeLine Special to Second Supper To celebrate another year of healthy living and sustainable agriculture, Organic Valley is pulling out all the stops for the eighth annual Kickapoo Country Fair. Organic Valley, commonly known as OV to those in "the biz," is one of the biggest players in the local and organic food scene. The Kickapoo County Fair is a celebration of the OV community and past, present and future successes in the environmental and local organic food movements. Like its namesake the Kickapoo River, the Kickapoo County Fair has grown from very small beginnings as a gathering of farmer owners and retailers to a unique phenomenon resembling an old timey fair but with edamame instead of pork chops on a stick. My sources within OV have forcasted a one hundred percent chance of cheese. The food attractions, for many of the attendees, are the real draw to this event and though each year does seem to get better, this year may take the tamale. The food adventure tent is just what it sounds like, an epicurian epilepsy waiting to happen featuring ice cream, beer, cheese, chocolate and homemade kombucha. Avoid all brightly flashing cheese wheels. The Kitchen and Pantry tent will inspire visions of home cooked meals from standard Wisconsin fare, like cheese making, to the potentially frightening and bizarre menu from visiting speaker, Chef Andrew Zimmern, host of the Food Network’s Bizarre Foods. The 2011 jamboree will feature a little bit of everything that has made the event a success in the past including the flashy keynote speakers like Zimmern that have become a fixture of the event. One of last year’s crowd favorites was a stirring performance by Temple Grandin, a world renowned expert on humane animal husbandry. That’s a fancy word for ranching for those tittering in the back of the room. Zimmern has a unique presentation according to Cate Hollowitsch, the a KCF organizer. In addition to being a world traveler, journalist and food fetishist, Zimmern is a vocal local food systems advocate. "Andrew will be talking about the local food systems he has experienced in his travels," according to Hollowitsch. "He should also have some insights into the Driftless Region's local food scene.” Will Allen of Growing Power and George Siemon round out the keynote speakers. Allen was recognized as one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People for his work in urban agriculture. A former NBA basketball player and the son of a share cropper, Allen has travelled a circuitous path to being the urban local food guy. His accomplishments are many and most recently include collaboration with First Lady Michelle Obama to fight child-

At A Glance WHAT: Kickapoo Country Fair WHERE: One Organic Way, La Farge, Wis. WHEN: Saturday, July 30, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sunday, Aug. 1, 8 a.m.-10 a.m. COST: $5; seniors and kids 5-12, $2.50; kids under 5, FREE SPEAKERS: Will Allen, Andrew Zimmern MUSIC: Kentucky Head Hunters, The Squeezettes, Bad Axe Blues Band hood obesity. George Siemon is affectionately known as the C-E-I-E-I-O of Cooperative Regions of Organic Producer Pools (CROPP) which is more commonly known by its brands Organic Prairie and Organic Valley. Siemon will be delivering a "State of the Co-op" report detailing future plans as well as past business. It has been a year of change and growth during a time where many of the nation’s businesses have floundered. If the local and organic food talk doesn't shiver your timbers, the pirate gypsy sailing jigs are sure to fulfill your daily requirement of fun. That’s right folks, we are talking full on gypsy shenanigans with a lusty seafarer tinge performed by Canon Ball. And yes, it is a clever name not a typo. Playing around dinner time are the Squeezettes, featuring three very squeezable sweeties on the squeezebox, a belching brewmaster brass section and a "30's radio voice." The next act gets the critics choice award. WDRT 91.9 FM presents the Bad Axe Blues Band and their authentic Vernon County take on "Chicago Style" blues. Expect a variety of genres with witty repartee and hopefully some of keyboard player, Steve "Winwood" Hall's three legged animal jokes. The Kentucky Headhunters of "Dumas Walker" fame will be head...lining (ba-dumching). Their music promises to be fantastic, but this reporter confesses a deeper interest in seeing the "loose and rowdy group of long haired goofballs from the boondocks" mix it up in downtown LaFarge after the show. Now that’s how you write a press release! The day will end with a proper reflection on the root of the local, organic movement: the environment. Following a Paradise Garden Walk, there will be a showing of A Sense Of Wonder, written and performed by Kaiulani Lee, OBIE winner and veteran of the wholesome television series The Waltons. The play tells the inspirational story of environmental poet and activist Rachel Carson's fight to preserve the environment from modern apathy. So head on down to the Kickapoo Country Fair for some good ol' fashioned free range family fun. And for a digital preview, visit www.KickapooCountryFair.org.

PHOTO SUBMITTED BY KICKAPOO COUNTRY FAIR

6// July 28, 2011

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Reviewer can’t bear finishing his sandwich at this river Roadhouse By Marcel Dunn Special to Second Supper

South of La Crosse, on the banks of the Mississippi River, lies a restaurant unlike any restaurant I’ve ever been to. Now maybe that means I don’t get out much ,or perhaps I simply don’t have a fondness for hunting lodges, but the Great River Roadhouse in De Soto made me laugh, my gut rumble and generally kept me on my toes. Located in an unassuming ranch-style building on a hill that overlooks the river, this bar and grill offers everything from panstyle pizza and Italian pasta dishes to whole roasted chickens. While the menu was surprisingly varied for a very local Mom and Pop-type bar and grill, the décor was decidedly one-sided: hunting lodge chic. For instance, the light fixtures, an afterthought at most places, were set into what looked very much like a crown of antlers. Adorning the walls were various stuffed pheasants, dead deer heads and large fish. But the pièce de résistance of this shrine to hunting trophies was the stuffed and standing black bear in the corner that eyeballed me for the entirety of my meal. Awesome! In between my fits of giggling about the “profession” of taxidermy and asking the waitress if I could touch the bear (shot down, of course), I managed to look at the menu and decide on an appetizer and a main

course. Against my better judgment, I went with the nachos for starters. There were two nachos options on the menu, mine being the lesser of the two. As their name implied on the menu, they were pretty basic, with just cheese sauce, chips, meat and jalapenos on the side. All in all, not bad, not great, just nachos. The bulk of my eating at this riverside roadhouse was given to a massive concoction called “The Bomber.” I really should not have expected anything less than a gut bomb from something with such a dubious moniker, but I managed to maintain my optimism until the sandwich was placed in front of me. Nearly the size of a baby’s torso, “The Bomber” is a heaping helping of homemade Italian sausage in patty form, mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce and lots of mushrooms and onions, all precariously placed between two slices of a loaf of toasted French bread. With no embarrassment and no loss of selfrespect, I can safely say that I was not man enough to finish this thing. I had to cut it in half and hope for the best. Now, if you’ve been reading these reviews since back in the early spring, you’ll probably remember that I hate giant portions. I bitch about them every time I go to chain restaurants and I bitch about them at local places. However, I try not to let those feelings cloud my judgments on overall taste and quality. That said, I tried really hard to

The author met his match at DeSoto's Great River Roadhouse. But the onion rings were good. like “The Bomber.” I love Italian sandwiches and this sandwich has a lot going for it. The sausage is pretty damn good, complete with a good balance of spice and sweetness that well-made Italian sausage should have. But the tomato sauce lacked any real character (yes, tomato sauce can have a personality), and the amount of mozzarella really drowned out the mushrooms and onions because it was essentially just a big glob of ingredients. On the plus side, the onion rings that came on the side were fantastic and go down in my book as a definite recommend.

LA CROSSE’S NEWEST & TRUEST PUB & EATERY WITHOUT THE FRANCHISE!

Medium: Album Stimulus:Digitalism — I Love You, Dude Anno: 2011

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This is a simple, fun onslaught of highintensity electropop songs that makes few missteps. A block of songs in the center of the album comprise the collection’s best work: “Circles” anchors the piece as the mechanically frantic single, “Blitz” is a Daft Punk style instrumental, the well-named “Forrest Gump” is a suave track that buzzes and chimes at high swagger, “Reeperbahn” evokes the cinematic image of a vampire rave (whatever that’s worth), and “Antibiotics” is a popping, slithering tennis match of slightly malfunctioning basslines. Each song on the bookends of I Love You, Dude is equally competent, but the middle is where the album hits its stride. As a whole, the canny production on this album shows that Digitalism knows its audience and delivers.

Candidates may submit a letter of introduction and resume to editor@secondsupper.com.

PHOTOS BY MARCEL DUNN

Overall, the Great River Roadhouse was an interesting experience. I couldn’t help but be enamored with the stuffed animals, the fantastic service and the warm atmosphere. Unfortunately, my small sampling of their menu was underwhelming and I can’t recommend the drive down to De Soto just to try something else off the menu. But if you’re making the lovely drive down the river for any reason, you should stop in to at least touch the black bear. He or she is a magnificent animal. Medium: Album Stimulus: Death Cab for Cutie — Codes and Keys Anno: 2011 Having moved beyond the syrupy heartache that characterized much of its earlier work, Death Cab spends much of its latest album balancing those Hallmark sensibilities with the divergence seen on its preceding album, Narrow Stairs. The resulting piece has the feel, more in the structure than the sound, of a Smashing Pumpkins album — Adore, in particular. The deft combination of electronic and organic instrumentation, the highly accessible manner of bucking the established formula, and the grandiose execution this all centers around, all of this sounds very Pumpkinslike — not that this isn’t a very welcome thing. (That said, it would also sound very fitting if Ben Gibbard’s vocals on “You Are a Tourist” or “Stay Young, Go Dancing” were replaced with Billy Corgan’s.) The latter of those parenthetical songs is one of the best tracks on Codes and Keys, and its string-laden piano ballad sums up most of aspects of the album it concludes. In contrast, the album’s opening track, “Home Is a Fire,” is more of a cyborg; in its core the music sounds very similar to “Stay Young”, but the subtle programming and sound effects make the songs sound very different. Between these ends are a lot of songs with few threads in common combining to form an album that sounds cohesive. And with the exception of the wistfully uptempo “Underneath the Sycamore,” there isn’t much of that old sad syrup to be digested. Instead, Death Cab made a highly ambitious rock album that propels it to the level of bands that can get away with such things. — Brett Emerson

Second Supper

July 28, 2011 // 7

MUSIC

Concordia an unexpected home, but these shows rock! By Julie Schneider Julie.schneider@secondsupper.com Seeking out live music in La Crosse consistently leads to one thing: a bar. Bob Tolson, lead singer for beloved local ska band 123 Walrus!, was tired of this situation and wanted to provide quality concerts that everyone could attend. Tolson found his unlikely home at the Concordia Ballroom, a historic music venue more prone hosting polka bands and square dances than rock and roll. But Tolson has found the venue to be a fine fit for his national bookings and all-ages philosophy. He and his bandmates have hosted three well-received shows at the Concordia this year, and a fourth, featuring national sensation Bomb the Music Industry!, is scheduled for Thursday, August 4. “These shows provide people the chance to hear a bunch of different genres of music, everything that not only La Crosse, but the nation has to offer, all in one show and to me, that’s how shows should be,” Tolson said. The first national artist Tolson booked at the Concordia was actually Jeff Rosenstock, lead singer of Brookyn’s Bomb the Music Industry!, who crisscrossed the country on a solo tour in March. Tolson reached out to nab him for a La Crosse booking, and Rosenstock agreed to perform at the Con-

The Majak Mixtape By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com After months of two sides battling over

money, we’ve finally reached a solution, folks! No, we’re not talking about that little ole thing called the debt ceiling; we’re talking about something truly important to the American landscape, that thing called football. After five months of back and forth between owners and players, the NFL lockout ended this past Monday, probably because somebody must have realized that a bunch of rich people arguing over how more potentially wealthy they can be during a nationwide economic downturn was not the greatest move from the playbook. So while players get back to work and fans can breathe a sigh of relief while restocking their supplies of face paint, we here at the Mixtape are taking on the resolution to this kafuffle in this week’s mixtape that we’re dubbing “This Mix is an Athletic Supporter.” We kick off the mix with “Huddle Formation” from The Go! Team’s album “Thunder, Lightning, Strike” as the lockout negotiations found the owners and players huddled in their own groups as they tried to figure out what was best for them. We’re not going into all the truly byzantine details of what they were fighting over because a) we have a tenuous at best grasp on it ourselves and b) this column only gets 450 words. Suffice it to say, owners, players and we’re

cordia with only an electric guitar and an iPod of backing tracks. Later that spring, Tolson booked another national act, Laura Stevenson and the Cans, after he and some bandmates drove to see the band, also from Brooklyn, at three different venues around the Midwest. “I think they were either genuinely impressed with our fandom or just completely speechless after we drove well-over 30-plus hours total to see them three times,” Tolson explained. “They responded to an email in less than 24 hours and the show was booked from there.” The Concordia Ballroom was not the first venue that Bob sought out for the first show, but it ended up being the best fit with nearly 100 people in attendance and the owners nearly selling out of beverages at the bar. “Going into the first show we had no idea what to expect,” Tolson said. “But we already paid the rental fee so we knew we couldn’t just flake out. We pulled it all together and have been running with it ever since.” While lineups at these Concordia shows are usually topped by national talent, they always come stacked with local reinforcements. In addition to 123 Walrus, other local groups who have rocked the Concordia include 64 Squares, Canon City, Elliot Arms, Another Exoneration and Not sure a few mascots wanted to increase or maintain their slice of the astoundingly huge revenue that football makes every season because stadiums and defense attorneys don’t pay for themselves. So while the owners and the players tried to score points of their respective sides in terms of both money and that other precious asset known as good P.R., the NFL found itself in its longest stoppage of work in its history which leads us to the song “Summertearz” from Little Dragon’s new album “Ritual Union” because most NFL fans were crying foul about the situation. The stoppage did only put a kibosh on a Hall of Fame exhibition game but did some major screwing up of minor things like signing free agents, training camps and all those other little details that happen during the off-season. What were the players doing in their free time? We’re sure they were taking cooking classes or painting watercolors or gardening since so many of them know their way around a hoe. The lockout came to a conclusion this Monday and has promptly set the season back into motion, which leads us to our last song “Start the Show” from Wu-Tang Clan’s new album “Legendary Weapons.” You got to love a negotiation situation that ends with Indianapolis Colts center Jeff Saturday hugging New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Hey, maybe that is how President Obama and Rep. John Boehner will end debt ceiling talks? Maybe?

Buy: Amy Winehouse “Frank” YouTube: Amy Winehouse performing “Tenderly” on Jools Holland Read: Popdose www.popdose.com

Get your daily dose of all the wig-snatching antics of The Majak Mixtape at The Majak Kingdom blog, www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com

At A Glance

The Critic. But Tolson said next Thursday’s show, which will also feature The Sidekicks of Columbus, Ohio, and local pop-rockers Neon, will be “the best show to come to La Crosse in three decades, or at least since Black Flag in ’86.” When asked about the logistics behind putting these concerts together Tolson responded, “Don’t fool yourself; I don’t do much. The effort that is needed in order to pull a show together, from designing posters, booking the venue, to hanging up posters downtown, Facebook-whoring, setting up sound equipment, blah blah blah, it’s all distributed amongst the members of Walrus.” With the impressive turnout and generally well-behaved, the owners of the Concordia Ballroom have agreed to additional shows, and Tolson said a strong connection remains. He plans to book additional shows into the fall, including a concert headlined by Milwaukee’s DIRECT HIT! (Editor’s note: These shows must be exciting. That’s the third band with an exclamation point in this article.) “These all-ages shows provide people with a reasonable way to hear really good bands,” Tolson said, “and they give everyone the opportunity to show up and just have fun without all the idiots, violence and et cetera.”

WHAT: Concert featuring Bomb The Music Industry!, The Sidekicks, 123 Walrus!, Neon, and 64 Squares WHERE: Concordia Ballroom, 1129 La Crosse St. WHEN: Thursday, Aug. 4, from 6-11 p.m. COST: $7: all ages allowed

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8// July 28, 2011

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // July 29 to August 4 FRIDAY,

just a roadie away Madison

July 29

population

4 SISTERS // 100 Harborview Plaza

PAUL DEMPSEY // August 4 Memorial Union Terrace • Free

Terry & Marty (husband/wife duo) • 7 p.m. BLACK RIVER BEACH NEIGH. CTR. // 1433 Rose St.

FENCES // August 5 High Noon Saloon • $10

Coulee Chordsmen (chorus/quartet) • 7 p.m. BOTTOMS UP // 500 Copeland Ave. King Friday (acoustic rock) • 8 p.m.

THE RAGBIRDS // August 8 High Noon Saloon • $10

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. Dan Sebranek (bluegrass) • 6:30 p.m.

ARI HERSTAND // August 12 The Frequency • $10

PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Kin Pickin’ (jamgrass) • 5 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Costello & Hipps (folk/rockabilly) • 8 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. The Ska’t tsmen, Fuzzy HD (ska) • 10 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. ShowBaby (rock) • 10 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Charie Parr (singer/songwriter) • 8 p.m. THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. New Jazz Infidels (jazz) • 8 p.m.

SATURDAY,

July 30

The Root Note has been closed for a little over a month now, but this weekend they’re back in action, just in time for a visit from Minnesota folk legend Charlie Parr this Friday, July 29. Parr has received quite a bit of critical acclaim for his evocative, intense singer/songwriter mentality blended with his deep love for and understanding of American folk music. This is a show you won’t want to miss, as well as a great opportunity to tell the Root Note how much you’ve missed them. The show is $5 at the door and starts at 8 p.m.

RED PINES BAR & GRILL // W7305 Hwy Z Guitar Logic (rock) • 7:30 p.m. TOM SAWYER’S // 30899 Dickson Rd. Smoke N’ Gunz (acoustic duo) • 9 p.m. FEATURES // 1425 Hwy. 16 (West Salem) Dueling Pianos (comedy/music) • 9 p.m.

SUNDAY,

July 31

MONDAY,

August 1

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Open Jam with Cheech • 10 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.

TUESDAY,

August 2

LA CROSSE QUEEN // Riverside Park Journeymen (classic covers) • 6 p.m.

LACRESCENT FARMERS MKT // 420 S. Second Michelle Lynn (folk) • 4 p.m.

CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Burlesque Cabaret Theatre • 11 p.m.

THE MUSE THEATRE // 1353 Avon St. My River Rocks (jazz/pop standards about rivers) • 2 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Paulie (one-man band) • 8:30 p.m.

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. Dan Sebranek (folk) • 7 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Som’n Jazz (jazz) • 10 p.m.

WEDNESDAY,

BODEGA BREW PUB // 122 4th St. The Kokopellians (jamgrass) • 9:30 p.m.

THE MUSE THEATRE // 1353 Avon St. My River Rocks (jazz/pop standards about rivers) • 7:30 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Costello & Hipps (folk/rockabilly) • 8 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Sterus (jamband) • 10 p.m.

208,054

August 3

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (man about town) • 10 p.m.

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm & Derek Ramnarance RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. (Palm Sunday) • 4 p.m. Kin Pickin' (jam grass) • 5 p.m. RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Michael Patrick (acoustic jam) • 6 p.m. Latin Vibe (jazz) • 6 p.m. SCHMIDTY'S // 3119 State Rd. Dave Kerska (oldies) • 5:30 p.m.

TED NUGENT // August 21 Overture Center for the Arts • $177 PETER BJÖRN AND JOHN // August 26 The Majestic Theatre • Free

THURSDAY,

August 4

CONCORDIA BALLROOM // 1129 La Crosse St. Bomb The Music Industry!, The Sidekicks, 123 Walrus!, Neon, 64 Squares (rock, punk, ska) • 6 p.m. DEWEY'S // 621 St. Paul St. Randy’s Corner • 6 p.m. NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. Shawno & Echant (acoustic jam) • 9 p.m. SOUTHSIDE NEIGH. CENTER // 1300 S. 6th St.

Stardust GTO (standards; Harmony in the Neighborhood) • 6 p.m. THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m. THE VIEW BAR & GRILL // N3020 Hwy 16 Don D. Harvey & the Ultrasonic Duo • 6 p.m. TREMPEALEAU HOTEL // 150 Main St. The FireSides (appalachian) • 7 p.m.

Second Supper

The Beer Review Brew Free or Die IPA 21st Amendment Brewery San Francisco, California This week’s beer selection is an appropriate drink for this politically polarized time. My sister brought it home for me after a recent trip to San Francisco, that sinful den of liberalism that stands as a postapocalyptic nightmare for approximately 50 percent of America. It comes from the 21st Amendment Brewery, which is located within the city limits and takes its name from the constitutional amendment that repealed Prohibition in 1933 — a.k.a. the last time Congress did something that everybody wanted. Although the name tweaks a

Tea Party slogan, I don’t think the makers of Brew Free or Die IPA want the government to default on its loans and crash the economy. But if we are going to descend into another Epic Depression, at least we’ll have these cans of IPA to comfort us. I love that it comes in a can — not only because recycling aluminum has a lower carbon footprint than glass, but because it affords this awesome illustration of Mt. Rushmore that wraps around the beverage. It depicts a strutting Abraham Lincoln, the soul of the Republican Party who enacted the boldest social change in American history, breaking out of the rock. To his right is a bleary Progressive imperialist, a slave-owning libertarian, and a general that pushed for peace. I guess that’s the danger of reducing complexities to mere talking points. But at least we can always

count on beer. Purchase: Six-pack of Brew Free or Die IPA, a San Francisco treat Style: India Pale Ale Strength: 7 percent ABV Packaging: The Mt. Rushmore cans come packaged in a minimal waste cardboard box. Appearance: This IPA pours a rather clear amber color with a beautiful two-finger white head and perfect retention. Aroma: The fresh from the West Coast hops offer a fruity aroma I haven’t experienced in a while — a bit like orange marmalade flecked with rinds over notes of mint, lemon zest and a bready malt base. Taste: Clearly, we’re not in Wisconsin anymore. This is a hoppy punch across the jaw that’s puckeringly potent at the first sip but unveils layers of complexity as it slides across

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

SUNDAY

BODEGA BREW PUB BROTHERS

CLOSED

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

CARLIE'S ON THIRD

$5 domestic pitchers

1914 Campbell Road 782-7764

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FISH'S BAR & GRILL

Bar Menu

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$4 Rueben Sliders

$1 Wells, $5 Domestic pitchers All specials 9 p.m. to close

Wristband Night: AUC2D domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. to close

15-cent wings, $1.50 Keystone Lights, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call drinks. 2 For 1 Captains All specials 9 p.m. to close.

Wristband Night: AUC2D, Domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 to close.

Mug Club 9pm-12:30pm $5 for filled mug $1 Domestic Taps, Rail & Long Islands 12:30-Close Ladies night Free Taps Rails & Long Islands *excludes premium long islands.

5 domestic taps for $1; $2 domestic pitchers

$2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers; $1 shots of Doctor (3 flavors);

All specials 9 to close.

$3 Bacardi mixers; $3 Three Olives vocka mixers (8 flavors); $2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers

CLOSED

1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

IMPULSE

214 Main St. 782-6010 www.impulseoflacrosse.com

Free Beer: 5:30-6:30 p.m. Free Wings: 6:30-7:30 p.m. Free Bowling: After 9 p.m.

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2 (Holmen)

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un- Prime rib dinner 4-10; limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Bar Menu

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Dog in a Diaper, $5

Fish’s Fish Taco $3.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Chimis and Burritos, $5

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close ($7 after 11p.m.):; live DJ

$5 AUC2D Wristbands 9 p.m. to close ($10 after 11p.m.): Domestic Taps, Rail Mixers, Long Islands; Live DJ, Dancing 9 p.m. to close

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Bar Menu

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast CLOSED

SATURDAY

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles Karaoke 9 p.m. to close and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

400 Lang Drive 784-2242

HOWIE’S

CLOSED

FRIDAY

$1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do- Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine- $1.50 domestic bottles and rail 4 p.m. to close mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; close $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

1452 Caledonia St. 782-6446

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL

— Adam Bissen

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

CLOSED

115 3rd St. S 782-7550

THURSDAY

the tongue. The most prominent flavors are citrus and pine, but a caramel sweet maltiness does rise above the hops as it finishes on a surprisingly dry note. Mouthfeel: Medium-to-full bodied with a long, bitter aftertaste. Drinkability: This is a tasty beer, but not especially drinkable. Two of these will get you buzzed and destroy your palette for the night. Ratings: BeerAdvocate grades this a B+, while RateBeer scores it a 96. I wouldn’t recommend it quite that highly, but it is important to see how the other half (a.k.a. northern California heathens) drink. I’ve also seen this beer at some of the finer liquor stores in Minnesota, but given all of that state’s troubles, it might be best to just stay home and read.

MONDAY

122 4th St. 782-0677

EAGLES NEST

July 28, 2011 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

CLOSED

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; ($7 after 11p.m.): karaoke 10 p.m. to close

JB’S SPEAKEASY

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top shelf and specialty beers

SCHMIDTY’S

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos;: $11 Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and 12-inch pizza $8.99 buckets during pro and college foot- college football games. Happy Hour Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. ball games. 2 to 6 p.m.; $2 pints all day

14-inch pizza, $2 off; Wings Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.89 hamburger + toppings Ladies Fish Dinner Special-$7.89 night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos; $11 buckets during pro and college football games.

THE LIBRARY

Wristband Night

$5 Wristbands and $2 Cherry Bombs

$2 bottled beer, double rail mixers & JUMBO long islands, $3 double call mixers & $2.50 shots of Jack Daniels, SoCo & Tuaca

$5 Mug Club (gets you a cup and first drink) with $1 refills & $2.50 Miller Lite bottles and 16oz. silos Ladies Night after 12:30AM, Check it out!

TOP SHOTS 137 4th St. 782-6622

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod- $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.) Bombs (7-1 a.m.) (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN

$2 Lost Lake cans

$1.75 PBR Bottles $2 Lost Lake cans

$2 Miller Light Bottles $2 Lost Lake cans

$2 Grain Belt $2 Lost Lake cans

$2 Coors & Coors Light Bottles $2.50 Skyy mixers $2 Lost Lake cans

$2 Lost Lake cans

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

$1.50 taps PBR, $1.50 rails

$2 domestic bottles, $3 call doubles

$2 taps, $3 Jack and Captain doubles

$2 Miller products, $8.50 fish bowls

$2 domestic taps, $3 Three Olives products

717 Rose St. 796-1161

3119 State Road 788-5110

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

$1 domestic taps and rail mixers and 1/2 price tequilas

123 3rd St. 784-8020

308 4th St. S. 782-9069

126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 Bombs

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

10// July 28, 2011

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

By Erich Boldt By Matt Jones

• La Crosse • Sparta • Richland Center • Prairie du Chien Birth Control Services Annual Exams for Women STD Testing & Treatment for Men and Women Pregnancy Testing Emergency Contraception Call for an appointment today!

800.657.5177

Helping create healthy lives and families.

www.optionsclinic.org

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Graphic Designer: Jenn Bushman Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Mary Catanese, Jason Crider, Ashly Conrad, Ben DeLine, Marcel Dunn, Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Briana Rupel, Julie Schneider, Stephanie Schultz, Nate Willer, Ralph Winrich Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

Second Supper

IMHO Honestly, there's no more fitting group

ACROSS 1 Hair relaxer option 7 Slinky shape 11 Ms. ___-Man 14 Portugal's secondlargest city 15 "___ Approved" 16 "___ little teapot..." 17 Announcement before "go" 18 It can't help being negative 20 Story that ends with the Slaying of the Suitors 22 Abbr. in many Quebec city names 24 Org. that holds Renaissance Fairs 25 Former Sony line of robotic pets 26 Different roles, so

to speak 28 Pancreas or kidney 33 Steer clear of 35 Club choice 36 What a doctor takes 43 Do some serious damage 44 Like "Paranormal Activity" 45 Where branches refer back to 51 Active person 52 Elvis's middle name 53 "Hagar the Horrible" cartoonist Browne 55 Fair ___ 56 Highly-touted NBC spinoff cancelled in 2008 before production

Answers to July 21 puzzle "Better Living Through Chemistry"— a simple formula

62 What miracle creams claim to remove 63 Doing some gardening 66 Pet name 67 Nova Scotia, for one: abbr. 68 Baling strings 69 "I'll take that as ___" 70 Dance move 71 "Just a sec..." DOWN

27 Take a little drink 29 Heat source? 30 Exhibition stuff 31 "There's ___ in 'team'!" 32 Way back when 34 "___ arigato, Mr. Roboto..." 37 Half-___ latte 38 Org. with a "Leading to Reading" program 39 Massive Brit. lexicon 40 Stimulating 41 They may bind 42 "Take it!" 45 "That was soooo

1 Refuse to share

funny..."

2 Unlock, to poets

46 State name often

3 Direction of some race

mispronounced by East

goals

Coasters

4 Approximately

47 Rita of "The Electric

5 Inventory stock, in

Company"

adventure games

48 Sheriff Roscoe P.

6 Not big on gadgetry,

Coltrane's underling

slangily

49 401, in old Rome

7 Actor's indicators

50 Half a quarter

8 Capital on a fjord

54 Oklahoma tribe

9 Carded at the door

57 Actor Omar

10 Like some lingerie

58 Match up socks

11 "Zen and the Art of

59 Native Nebraskan

Motorcycle Maintenance"

60 Invitation request

author Robert

61 Alternative to ja

12 "The Far Side" critter

64 "Chosen one" played

13 Echo location

by Keanu

19 Pre-1917 ruler

65 Channel that revived

21 Former German

"The Newlywed Game"

president Johannes ___ 22 Iranian ruler

23 Kipling's "Rikki-

Crosswords (editor@

Tikki-___"

jonesincrosswords.com)

Second Supper

July 28, 2011 // 11

COMMUNITY

The Root Note rebuilds

When patrons of the Root Note — the popular Fourth Street coffee shop/music venue/organic café — came to the door last month, they were greeted with a stark sight: a plain white paper sign, taped to the front glass, announcing that the business would be closed for an indefinite amount of time. “People kept coming by, saying ‘What happened?’” co-owner Corrie Brekke recalled on a late night this week, while a small crew of friends was busily remodeling the business. “We kept hearing conversations like ‘Oh, no!’” But fear not, downtown denizens, beginning Friday evening a slightly different Root Note will open its doors and begin a new chapter of this unconventional business story. Following a “reorganization,” the reopened Root Note will be a bit more streamlined than the business that preceded it. Whereas the old Root Note often had live music four or five nights per week, an organic menu that rivaled many restaurants, and café tables that filled the floor, the new business will be more pared down. It will no longer include the commercial kitchen the owners rented on Main Street. Instead, all the food will be prepared on site, and the menu will center around crepes — thin, egg-based pancakes that can be stuffed with sweet or savory ingredients. “We’ll still have a lot of playfulness with our menu, but it’s all going to be focused on one rolled-up design,” Brekke said. Perhaps the biggest change to the Root Note will be readily apparent when you walk by the front doors. A 25-foot-long natural wood

bar curves around the center island, and soon it will be backed by a variety of Wisconsin tap beers and hard cider. With materials harvested from area barns and forests, the bar was assembled and constructed in two weeks, and it was just erected before an interview on Tuesday night. “This bar wanted to be built,” said the other co-owner Dane Gonzales, who also works as a brewer for the Pearl Street Brewery. “It just came together beautifully.” Although Brekke, Gonzales and friends have been remodeling the space for most of this month, customers can get their first peek inside the Root Note on Friday night when the venue hosts the beloved Duluth songwriter Charlie Parr. To create more “buzz” around the concerts, the Root Note owners plan to book fewer concerts — perhaps one big show per month — but they will continue the popular Jazz Night on Tuesday and open mic on Thursday. Following the Charlie Parr show (doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m., $5 cover), the Root Note will close back down for a few weeks to finish remodeling, prepare the menu and train staff, Brekke said. The owners say they’re excited to share their space with the community once again and hope their old clientele, many of whom have patronized the business since its days as a gardening and homebrew shop, will return to the new Root Note. “I feel like this space has always been off the beaten path,” Gonzales explained. “We’re trying to bring La Crosse something that it doesn’t have — once again.” — Adam Bissen

PHOTOS BY ASHLY CONRAD

Co-owners Dane Gonzales and Corrie Brekke built the Root Note's brand new bar from materials found around the Coulee Region.

MONDAY 9-BALL TOURNEYS!

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

STARTING: Monday, April 18, 2011 TIME: 6:30 Sign-up, 7:00 Start FEES: $7.00 Entry, $3.00 Greens Fee FORMAT: Handicapped by the ball. Race to 5 - Double Elimination. Player Ratings may change based on performances. 6-7 Rating Levels. 16 WEEK TOURNEY: All who play in at least 6 Weekly’s will be eligible for cash added tourney after 16 weeks.

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

TUESDAY

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

SATURDAY

WEDNESDAY

$2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

FRIDAY

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands Mixers (7-1am)

12// July 28, 2011

THE LAST WORD

The Advice Goddess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Booty rest

My wife is co-sleeping -- sharing our bed -- with our two children. I understand why she sleeps with our baby, who’s breast-feeding, but not why my 6-yearold daughter must sleep in our bed. I’ve quit sharing the “family bed,” as I need my rest. I fully believe that my daughter should go to her own bed now. My wife does not agree. In fact, she refuses to even discuss it. We never were a high-frequency sex couple, but we’re verging on becoming a sexless one. Beyond that, I’d like to get back to sleeping in the same bed with my wife without getting a small foot planted in my face. — Crowded “Barrier methods” of birth control like condoms, a diaphragm and the cervical cap aren’t 100 percent effective at blocking sperm from entering the uterus, but one barrier method is: the 6-year-old between you in bed asking, “Can I have a Popsicle?” “Do cats have bellybuttons?” “Who will take care of me if you die?” I know, saying no to kids is so 1989, but somebody should really try to bring it back. As I wrote in my book “I See Rude People,” there used to be kid places and adult places. But even the martini lounge is no longer adults-only

in places like New York City, where more and more, bar fights consist of little Anson clocking little Kamil over the head with his plastic truck. Beyond how a child who rarely gets told no grows up into an adult entitled brat, what do kids have to look forward to if, at 6, they’re sleeping in the master bedroom after a rough night at the bar? And sure, studies suggest that co-sleeping may prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS rate is lowest in cultures that co-sleep), but there’s yet to be a report of a kid dying of SIDS at age 6. It is good that your wife is sleeping with the baby. Anthropologist and infant sleep expert Dr. James J. McKenna finds that co-sleeping babies cry less and breast-feed more often and for longer durations. They tend to synchronize their breathing with the sleeping parent -perhaps training themselves in how to breathe -- and spend less time in the deepest stages of sleep, during which quick arousals to recover from apneas (pauses in breathing) are more difficult for them. Because, like SUVs, sleeping parents are prone to rollover, and because a baby can be smothered by blankets or a soft mattress, it’s safest if the mother sleeps with the baby in a sidecar or bassinet next to her. It’s bad enough that marriage means committing to have sex with only one person until you die. It’s not supposed to be one …or fewer. (“Do you take this woman to stiff you on sex till death do you part?”) Marriage is also a partnership, not a dictatorship, meaning one spouse doesn’t get to set policy by shutting down all discussion. That said, the spouse getting the refusals to talk has to refuse to accept that. Your wife isn’t playing fair in lavishing all her attention on the kids. You’re still there, and not just to bring home the bacon and then repair quietly to your new sleeping quarters -- the pink bedroom with the princess duvet. You need to talk about how much sex you’d like, and how much she’s

willing to provide, and work out a compromise. If your marriage is going to last, acrobatics in the marital bedroom had better not amount to your 6-year-old practicing her cartwheels on what used to be Mommy and Daddy’s bed. The full-of-it Monty My boyfriend of two years isn’t overtly weird; he's actually a really nice, normal guy, but he has this “hobby” of going for walks totally naked. We live in Vermont, where this is actually legal. I tell him that women find this upsetting, but he is really turned on by being seen naked by them and has no intention of stopping. Also, he can’t get aroused with me unless he’s been on one of his walks. He says that when he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he masturbates while walking, but because he has me, he doesn’t. Should his nudism bother me? It really doesn't, but I wonder if it should. — Naked Dude’s Girlfriend I’m always kind of amazed when people write me about how their partner’s “really great” — except for this one little thing. Your boyfriend, for instance, is “a really nice, normal guy” except for how he’s a sex offender. “Dinner’s almost ready, hon,” you call to him. “I won’t be long,” he calls back. “Just taking a quick walk around the block to go scare a few little girls with my wang.” Sure, people should do what pleases them sexually — if they’re doing it with other consenting adults. Leaving the house without a blindfold shouldn’t be considered a form of consent. Most of Vermont is clothing-optional. (One town passed a law against it, and I’m guessing there are signs reading “no pants, no shoes, no service.”) But because it’s legal to take your meat out for a bobble in front of the ice cream store doesn’t mean it’s right to force other people to look at it. On a lesser note, the same goes for nosepicking, which is

Second Supper legal in Canada, the 50 states, Puerto Rico, and Guam. Also, what’s legal in Vermont is nudism (going naked), not lewdism (going naked with a sexual intent), which is why the latter comes with a maximum of five fully clothed years in a Vermont prison. A sexual oddity becomes a psychiatric disorder called paraphilia when somebody can’t get off without it and is intensely compelled to engage in it…say, to the point where he’s risking jail time. Sex researchers Masters, Johnson and Kolodny write in “Heterosexuality” that though paraphilias play out sexually, the preoccupation isn’t the pursuit of pleasure but fleeing from psychic pain, as with “compulsive handwashing or the person who must constantly line up all the jars and boxes in the pantry into neat, perfect rows.” Unfortunately, though there’s been some success in treatment with therapy and antidepressants, they find that getting somebody to give up “what he or she deems to be a source of his or her most intense pleasure is likely to be fraught with problems.” The question isn’t should you be bothered, but why aren’t you? Your boyfriend isn’t playing nude volleyball on weekends. He’s playing stroke the salami while strolling the neighborhood. Oh, right, he doesn’t do that while in a relationship — because his compulsion is fitted with a handy on-off switch? Ask yourself what compels you to stay with a guy who commits sex crimes every time he takes a walk. How much of your life is twisted around enabling him and convincing yourself you have a great boyfriend — even as you hear the faint screams of the little old lady down the street? Every relationship has its issues, and many women complain that their man isn’t that present during sex. Then again, that’s usually because they suspect he’s fantasizing about his hot co-worker, not because they’re waiting for him to come back from traumatizing the coffee klatsch.

$80 for 80 Days h t 80

Starting Aug. 1, 2011, every day for 80 days we’ll pick a daily winner and deposit $80 into their Altra Savings account. Must be an Altra member to enter. Get complete details and enter to win at www.altra.org. Not an Altra member? It’s easy to join. Most people who live, work, worship, or attend school in the area are eligible! Open an account in person or online in minutes at www.altra.org and discover better rates, lower fees, and all the financial services you need.

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608.787.4500 | altra.org Sweepstakes is open to Altra members 18 years of age or older who reside in the United States. By entering, you give Altra permission to publish your name as a winner. One winner will be selected in a random drawing each day for 80 days starting August 1, 2011. Altra will deposit $80 into winner’s Altra Savings Account. Winner’s names will be posted on Altra’s Facebook page and Altra’s website. Chances of winning are dependent on the number of entries. Altra employees, board members and immediate family not eligible. Void where prohibited.