The Money Meet by Second Supper

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La Crosse's Free Press VOLUME 11, NO. 19 | JUNE 2, 2011

Reviewer finds city’s finest food next to campus Page 6

The T E E M Y E N O d l e M i F & k c a r T e t Sta Runs Local Economy

Page 5

PLUS: ALL WEINER, NO BUNS • PAGE 6 | SOUNDSET REVIEW• PAGE 7 | NORWEGIAN SAISON • PAGE 9

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Second Supper

COMMUNITY

L'Editor

I was down in the basement when the tornado hit. In all my years living in this peculiar corner of the Midwest, where we find safety in three rivers meeting, I don’t think I’d ever taken shelter from a summer storm. But the last thing I saw before the power cut out was a Doppler map blazing orange and red, so I decided to join my neighbors underground. Their 2-year-old son kept the mood light with his brave pitter-patter. But in the darkness without a radio or television, I felt an uncommon sort of helplessness. Every few minutes we’d take a phone call from a concerned parent watching the news. First we heard a tornado hit Miller Street, the densely populated neighborhood a mile away. But when we heard it touched down on West Avenue, about 400 feet away, we sat silent, wide-eyed and nervous. After 45 minutes, we scaled the narrow stairs to the orange afternoon light. From our basement burrow the storm didn’t seem so bad. There was none of the hail like a month prior, and I don’t think a single stray branch fell into our yard. But I ran into a friend on the sidewalk who said she had just come from Green Bay Street. She could hardly put the experience into words, so I decided to make the five-block walk to see what became of my neighborhood. The first thing that struck me was how crowded the once quiet streets became. Some of the drivers may have been curiosity seekers, but I later learned that traffic had been diverted from West Avenue right through the swath of destruction. Truthfully, it felt wrong to be there. Mammoth oaks and maples were uprooted,

and debris from houses and yards was everywhere. People were snapping photos and craning their necks from slow-moving cars at the same time neighbors were hugging, crying and ordering people out of the way so they could begin picking up their lives. But there was another sight on those streets, too, one of the most comforting things I ever encountered. By the time I stepped out of the basement, every stoplight was dead, but police officers were directing traffic at key intersections. I couldn’t even count all the trees lying across parked cars, roads and backyard fences, but firefighters, some in jeans and heavy jackets, cordoned off the danger zones, making sure crowds kept clear of downed power lines. I saw police officers from La Crosse, Onalaska, Town of Campbell and Shelby, fire trucks from just as many municipalities and county emergency trailers I never knew existed. When a man stumbled up to one firefighter in a daze, saying the roof had been blown off his house, the firefighter directed him to Green Bay Street where an MTU was taking people to the emergency shelter at Central High School. Keep in mind, this all happened less than 45 minutes after the tornado touched down, something that had never happened here in over a half-century. Yet the men and women we trust to keep us safe were executing a contingency plan to perfection. In the midst of all this destruction, I brimmed with a strange sort of civic pride. While I huddled in the basement, others rushed to help. Although my house was fine, I felt rebuilt that day.

— Adam Bissen

Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Mykah Rayne Lancour, 11 months WHERE WERE YOU BORN? La Crosse, WI

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Monkey's super smoothie. WHAT IS YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE? Running through the house in my favorite suit. In fact, it was the one I wore on the day of my birth.

CURRENT JOB: Right now I'm inbetween jobs. I recently finished eating and should be pooping pretty soon here.

TELL US A JOKE: Bah. bah bob. ball. dog. dada. bah.

DREAM JOB: Sleeping

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Dadda

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Lil Wayne

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? Toilet paper

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? A pineapple under the sea. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Sponge Bob WHAT IS YOUR PET PEEVE? Clothing WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Bah CELEBRITY CRUSH: Bah Bob

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Ball

WHAT PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH? Bah Bob FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Ball WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? Eating it. HOW DO YOU KNOW JOSHUA? He helped make me. — Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

Second Supper

Uke it out

Things To Do

Green up your thumb

The Top Track events 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

3000 meter steeplechase 110 meter hurdles 200 meter dash 4x100 meter relay 100 meter dash 1500 meter dash 400 meter hurdles

Field events 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Javelin Hammer throw Pole vault Discus Triple jump Shot put High jump

June 2, 2011 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Face it: it’s summer. Time to peel off those layers, reveal to the world the glory of your pasty skin, and get outside. This weekend’s the perfect excuse: this Saturday, June 4, and Sunday, June 5, the YWCA’s Gardenfest will take place at the Southside Oktoberfest Grounds from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. It’s your one stop shop for all your gardening needs — plants, trees, seeds, dirt — you name it, they’ve got it. You can also check out some of the seminars they’ll be featuring to learn how to make that green thumb even more chloroplastastic. Seminar topics include Vermicomposting, Terrariums, Rain Gardens, No Space? Gardening Everywhere — Local Food for Global Survival, and many more. Tickets are $5 for adults, $1 for kids 5-12, and free for kids under 5.

Get Dairy-licious

You can’t truly consider yourself a Wisconsinite if you’ve never attended June Dairy Days (no offense, but come on!). So now’s your chance to join the club. This weekend, take a drive up to West Salem for some down-home fun. The three-day event, taking place at West Salem Park, features something for everyone: cornhole tournaments, a 5k run/walk, chicken-Qs, softball, a parade on Saturday, and yes, a beer tent. When I was a kid I even got to experience the miracle of life by witnessing the birth of a calf. I was confused the next year when the same thing didn’t happen--I thought it was a scheduled event. Oh well. Maybe you’ll get lucky.

Here at Second Supper, we sure do love ukuleles, and we think all of our readers should play. That’s why this Tuesday, June 7, you should check out the free ukulele lessons offered by the Cheez Land Uke Band (yes, the same group that performed at last weekend’s Mississippi Valley Mayhem bout). The lesson is open to all ages and ability levels, and will take place at Leithold Music in downtown La Crosse from 6:30-8 p.m. Did I mention that it’s free? Yes, I did, but I’m mentioning it again. It’s a win-win.

Buy a support Brat

Show some love to those who need it most: on Saturday, June 5. Western Technical College Supervisory Management Students will be hosting a brat barn fundraiser for New Horizons Women’s Shelter at Festival Foods on the Causeway. They’ll be serving up brats, hot dogs, soda, and cookies, so head on over to grab some lunch, or swing by with a donation (health and beauty products, household items, children’s toys and games, cash) and help a neighbor out.

See spooky Sparta

Maybe it’s just me, but a bit of spooky — and educational — fun always sounds like a good plan. If you’re like me, then why not take a drive up to Sparta tonight (Thursday) and check out the Cemetery Walk at Woodlawn Cemetery at 4 p.m.? For only $8, you’ll visit the graves of some of Sparta’s founding mothers and fathers and hear how they shaped Sparta’s history. Oh, and there will also be cookies and lemonade, which are always awesome.

We heard your voice. Our ballot is now online! www.SecondSupper.com VOTING EXTENDED–JUNE 17, 2011

4// June 2, 2011

COMMUNITY

Second Supper

How to succeed in politics without trying

Republicans' new voter ID law may curtail elections more than fraud By Bob Treu Special to Second Supper

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Showing your ID before voting actually sounds like a reasonable idea. A couple of days ago I had to present driver’s license and social security number to purchase my fishing license at Gander Mountain, so I accept the notion that voting is at least as important as hooking a smallmouth bass. At the same time, there are some insidious aspects of the bill just passed by Wisconsin lawmakers and signed into law by Governor Walker. First of all, the bill was conceived, proposed, and passed on a clearly partisan basis. And this isn’t just a Wisconsin phenomenon. In fact Republican-sponsored voter ID bills have advanced in thirteen states in the last two months. By passing such laws they address two related problems: in spite of last year’s victories, Republicans are not as popular with the voters as the Democrats, and the policies they pursue, particularly the privatizing of Medicare, is hurting them. In fact they have been trying to pass a voter ID law for the last ten years, but now, with a Republican governor and a majority in both houses, they can do what they want. Nor is the law a response to some abundance of fraud in past elections. In 2004 a U.S. Attorney found no fraud in Wisconsin voting, while in the 2008 election the Wisconsin Department of Justice found only 20 cases. Curiously in 2004 the Milwaukee Police Department issued an unsigned report calling for a photo ID requirement, a report which Chief Ed Flynn refused to endorse. So Walker is probably accurate when he says the law protects us from the “threat”

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of voter fraud. Of course the various studies and reports do not mean that voter fraud doesn’t happen without apprehension, but it is hard to make a case that this is a significant factor in Wisconsin elections. To be fair, though, a 2004 bi-partisan committee headed by Jimmy Carter recommended photo IDs. More importantly, the bill does not address illegal voting by felons while under supervision of the state, which is the most common violation. It addresses only the crime of attempting to vote under another’s name, and so far no one has been caught doing that. It might have been more reasonable to make a serious effort to see if the violation addressed by the law is actually happening. The bill passed fairly quietly in the Assembly, 60-35, with two Democrats joining the Republican majority. In the Senate, things got louder. In the gallery people chanted “Shame” and sang “We Shall Overcome,” which reminded some of us of the days when northern activists went to southern states to help in voter registration drives. The Republican leaders responded by limiting debate to one hour. As it happened, Fred Risser, who has served longer than any other state legislator in America, was speaking when the hour was up and he resolved to finish his remarks anyway. Perhaps he thought it was only proper to treat a 90-year-old legislator with that courtesy, but he was shouted down. All the Republicans voted yes and all the Democrats voted no, except for 8 Democrats who didn’t vote at all. Then the governor signed it and the bill became law. The cost of implementing it will be $7 million. It is also one of the strictest voter identification laws in the country, requiring voters to present a Wisconsin Driver’s License with current address, a state-issued ID card, a military ID, a passport, a naturalization certificate, or an ID issued by a Wisconsin Native-American tribe. The bill exempts people in nursing homes, institutions, and victims of stalking. Finally, people opposed to photos for religious reasons will also be exempted. People caught at the polls without proper identification will be allowed to vote provisionally, and will have until the Friday following the election to provide officials with the proper identification. The bill seems to make an attempt to avoid overt discrimination. Nonetheless, Sen. Lena Taylor (Dem – Milwaukee), summarized the bill as follows: “This is voter suppression. This is voter disenfranchisement. This is voter confusion. This is voter restriction. This is a voter discouragement bill.” The bill does seem to make voting more difficult for minorities, low income populations, students who live away from home, and the elderly. Since minorities and poor people are less likely to own cars, they are less likely to have driver’s licenses. They will need to find a way to obtain the state ID. The same people also move more frequently, and their number

grows considerably as the recession drags on. Last week I spent an hour chatting with Levi Johnson, who works for an organization called Wisconsin Jobs, where he hopes to help improve political awareness in our area. His parents live in Minnesota, but he has taken up residence in Wisconsin while he studies nursing at WWTC. Since he has nothing with his current address on it, he will have to hustle to find a way to vote in his new home state. He’s an idealistic young man whose political commitment involves issues other than reducing taxes for the wealthy and the corporations. To the Republican sponsors of the new law, Levi is their worst nightmare. Many young voters will encounter similar problems. University IDs won’t work unless they display the bearer’s address. While some universities will spend the money to make that correction, others, like our local campus, will find that very cumbersome, since the ID card is also a credit card and room key. Elderly people, especially those who don’t drive, will be affected by the bill, though it isn’t clear they were targeted. Republicans can usually rely on elderly voters, but given their threats to privatize Medicare, they may have acted wisely in this case. At this point it isn’t clear how the voter ID law will influence the recall elections scheduled for later this summer. Voters will be asked for photo IDs, even though the bill will not take effect until 2012. If they don’t have one, they will be warned about the new law and then allowed to vote this time. The critics of the bill see it as a way for Republicans to hold on to their considerable power in a state that switches its affiliation with almost schizophrenic rapidity. And since this bill was passed at the same time similar efforts are being made in other states, they see it as a rather sinister national plan, which, along with destroying labor unions, will work to Republican advantage. Indeed, extreme conservatives have even advocated bringing back property ownership requirements. Judson Phillips, president of Tea Party Nation, favors it: “If you’re not a property owner, you know, I’m sorry, but property owners have a little more of a vested interest in the community than nonproperty owners.” True, most Republicans won’t want to cozy up to that one, but the Tea Party still has great influence in their party. Doubtless the law will be challenged in court. If it looks as if the groups of voters we think may have been targeted have been reduced substantially in the next presidential election, there should be a concerted effort to undo the damage. Given the current political climate, that will be a tough job. Meanwhile, Democrats will have to work hard at registration drives to have any hope of seeing progressives elected in the future.

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

The Money Meet

Weekend races give big boost to area businesss By Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com This Friday, June 3, and Saturday, June 4, UW-La Crosse will once again host the Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association (WIAA) State Track and Field Championships, as it has since 1990. But even if you’re not into the action on the track, chances are you’ll be hard-pressed to ignore the Championship’s side effects within the greater La Crosse area. Prepare for a busy weekend, because La Crosse is about to be inundated with thousands of athletes, their families and friends — and along with them will come a real economic boost to our community. As executive director of the La Crosse Area Convention and Visitors Bureau, Dave Clements knows just how beneficial the WIAA Championships can be for the city. “Last year’s number [of attendees], at least for the two days combined, was 23,400,” although some of those attended both days and were counted twice. Still, such an influx of visitors to our area creates a substantial amount of economic activity for local businesses. “I haven’t done one for about a year now, but the last time I did an economic impact [study], the numbers were somewhere in the $3 million range” Clements said about revenue generated from WIAA Championship attendees. “That would be everything from restaurants, hotels, convenience stores, stores in the mall or downtown or on Caledonia Street in Old Town North. Any retail store of any kind,” sees an uptick in business during the Championships, as do local tourist attractions, such as Mississippi River cruises. “It was nuts,” says Richard Flores, recalling his former life as a Subway Sandwich Artist at the West Avenue location. “On an average day, we’d sell maybe 60 sandwiches an hour, and even that would be a busy lunch hour. But during [the WIAA Track and Field Championships], we’d sell 5 or 6 times that,” says Flores, whose first day at the sandwich shop coincided with the event. “There were lines out the door all day, both days. We had to special order enough bread for those

days. It was definitely an interesting way to start my new job. I thought, is every day going to be like this?” he says with a laugh. Despite, perhaps, some added stress for certain service workers, the WIAA Championships are undeniably a benefit to La Crosse — a benefit we’re lucky to have retained for 21 years. In fact, before UW-L’s new Veteran’s Memorial Field Sports Complex was constructed, WIAA officials mulled moving the event to Oshkosh because of the degrading conditions of UW-L’s older stadium. The new Sports Complex has secured La Crosse’s position as host, though — and UW-L was recently named host of the 2013 NCAA Divison III Men’s and Women’s Outdoor Track and Field Championships. This is good news to Justin Smith, manager of Rudy’s Drive In, who looks forward to the Track and Field folks each year. “Business definitely picks up. We get a lot of new people who haven’t been to Rudy’s before, haven’t seen the girls on skates before. But we do also get repeat teams; we’ll recognize the same coaches’ faces. They kind of make it a tradition and keep coming back,” says Smith. And those developing traditions, that growing familiarity with what La Crosse has to offer, are perhaps worth more than any amount of income that can be measured during the weekend event. “This is a big event not only for economic impact, but because it brings people to La Crosse who under normal circumstances might not come here. What we see is a lot of people who have never been here before and they have no idea what we have here. But they have a son or a brother or a classmate competing in the Track and Field Championships and they come here and see what we have to offer. That really is a huge advantage as far as marketing our area,” says Clements. “We set up a booth [at the event] distributing information, answering questions. The three questions we get asked are always, How do I get to the river? How do I get to Granddad Bluff? And, Where should I eat?” And of course, we hope those folks check out our Food and Drink section for the answer to Question #3.

Day shift at Rudy's: Rolling through the relay Complete and utter mayhem. That is the description I would use, thinking back to my first day of work at Rudy’s Drive-In last summer. My first shift consisted of wild chaos thanks to the Wisconsin State High School Track & Field Meet held just down the street at UW-La Crosse. Thousands of Wisconsinites come to town that first weekend in June, filling up the hotels and swarming various restaurants. Rudy’s was one such restaurant that received a boost business last year, and I’m sure this weekend will be just as crazy. My first workday was filled with a spectrum of emotions from nervous to frustrated to overall irritated. My duty that day consisted of solely staying in one corner of

the inside part of the work area, clearing off trays and loading the dishwasher with dirty, rootbeer-residued mugs. That day taught me the art of teamwork and execution that needs to take place, almost like that of a relay team, in order for a restaurant to succeed and please the obscene amount of customers it was dealing with. With my new Rudy’s shirt, already armpit stained and broken in and my aching, tired feet under me, I left knowing that days at Rudy’s would not always be that wicked. But if we ever saw crowds like that again, we'd be ready for them.

— Julie Schneider

June 2, 2011 // 5

6// June 2, 2011

COMMUNITY

Kate’s On State serves reviewer’s favorite plate

LA CROSSE’S NEWEST & TRUEST PUB & EATERY WITHOUT THE FRANCHISE! Monday:

By Marcel Dunn Special to Second Supper

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Thursday:

Karaoke on Thursdays

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Having only ever heard fantastic things about Kate’s On State, I was a little more than excited to finally sit down for a meal. Sadly, I’m also a pessimist, so of course I was secretly hoping that it wasn’t the most overrated restaurant in La Crosse. Sometimes restaurants can be a little bit like Christmas presents. A world of expectations could be waiting for you in that bright, pretty wrapping and yet, when you least expect it, the Gameboy you asked for turns out to be a book of word search puzzles. Happily, Kate’s is the Gameboy and much, much more. Located just a stone’s throw from UW-La Crosse, Kate’s is situated in an unassuming building no bigger than the small house your grandmother might live in if she retired to Miami and sold all her junk. Notoriously sparse around campus, parking made for a yet another episode of me making a jackass out of myself before a review. When I finally found a spot and walked in, the staff and I shared a playful joke at my expense and from there the service only got better. Inside Kate’s you will find one of the most intimate dining experiences in the city. Small wooden tables and chairs for two surround a few larger tables for groups. The lighting is set to 19th century dark, with what little light there is silhouetting the tables and the delightfully untacky knick-knacks of Italy that adorn the walls. Above some of the tables were wine bottles hanging upside down, which had me fooled for a while until I poked one and realized it actually was empty. The service was immediate, delightful to talk to and most of all, knowledgeable. Though my friend and I only had one server, through snippets of conversation from the other servers I gathered that they were all of the same quality, which is incredibly

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important for places of this caliber. Normally, you only find servers with this kind of knowledge and know-how in large cities where fine dining isn’t so rare, so it was definitely a treat. Once introductions to the menu were given, we decided to try two of that night’s features. The first, which my friend ordered, was a filet mignon cooked medium well with a handful of lobster ravioli in a cream curry sauce. My order was for a steak of sushi-grade yellowfin tuna with different spices seared in and then blackened. It also came with a handful of smoked mozzarella-stuffed ravioli in an arrabbiata (Italian for angry) sauce topped with mixed veggies and three cooked prawns. Side salads (which came topped with a folded slice of salami wrapped around a grape tomato and speared on a toothpick) and half a loaf of cold french bread were served beforehand. I didn’t spend much time with the filet mignon because, as with the other reviews, I bring a friend along so that I may try a wider variety of a restaurants menu and still finish my own meal, but the few bites that I did have were heaven. The cut of meat was of such quality and so well prepared that the illusion of the bites melting in your mouth is the only description required. The one bite of lobster ravioli that I managed to steal off of my friend’s plate was just as delicious, the curry sauce hovering at that perfect combination of spicy and sweet. Yet, as good as the filet mignon and lobster ravioli were, I was even more smitten with the yellowfin tuna and its accompanying ravioli. This wasn’t the garden variety yellowfin you can buy at Festival. It was sweeter and juicier than what you will find at most grocery stores. A dusting of several different spices (chili powder most notably) was seared into the meat for flavor, which blended perfectly with the glass of pinot noir our server recommended. The smoked mozzarella ravioli was perfectly done, not overly stuffed with cheese nor too large. Its arrabbiata sauce (a lighter tomato-based sauce with garlic and red chili) had a bite to it but wasn’t overly spicy, which is important when you start throwing around any kind of chilis in a sauce, and went well with the veggies on top. Though I might risk setting the bar too high with such praise, I can’t help but mention that I consider this dish to be the best meal I’ve had in the La Crosse area. Bananas Foster topped off the experience. Incredibly rich, the dish consists of a scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with sliced bananas in a sauce made from brown sugar, butter, cinnamon, dark rum and a banana liqueur. A thousand calories later, we were moving slower than when we arrived, but it was well worth it. The entire experience was fantastic and, not unlike Disney World, well worth the price of admission. Kate’s On State is on a very short list for the best restaurant in La Crosse and is not to be missed.

Second Supper

June 2, 2011 // 7

MUSIC

Praise be the Church of Hip-Hop

Minnesota's Soundset festival draws huge crowd, impressive lineup By Anna Soldner Anna.Soldner@secondsupper.com For most people, Memorial Day is a weekend to remember those lost in battle, celebrated by parades, beach trips, and backyard barbeques. For hip-hop lovers, it means gathering in Minneapolis’ backyard at the Soundset music festival to pledge allegiance to acts of both local and national reputation. Held May 29 in Shakopee, Minnesota, Soundset drew a whopping 20,000 people, nearly doubling the attendance from its inception in 2008. Stoked to finally evade parental protest and high school graduation, I hopped in a car with a friend and drove the nearly three hours to witness the hype myself. And boy, was it dope. Slightly overwhelmed at first, we decided to walk around and soak in our surroundings (and inevitably breathe in some of the weed-infused air). Walking across the spacious fields of Canterbury Park was like walking the holy grounds of hip-hop heaven — there were live graffiti artists tagging walls with eye-popping hues, a dozen or so break dancers flipping their skills on a side stage, a custom car show, (very attractive) skateboarders ripping the Familia half pipe, rows of greasy food vendors, artist merchandise tents (where we ran into Atmosphere front man Slug!), and of course, the three stages where all the magic happened. In short, there was something for everyone.

Arriving about an hour into the festival, we caught Zion I and the Grouch, a California duo whose song “Coasting” prompted a massive sing-a-long and was the perfect way to get kick off festival. Next up was personal favorite, Grieves, a Seattle native recently signed to Rhymesayers. Paired with friend, producer, and fellow musician Budo, the pair delivered a flawless and captivating performance. Grieves has mad talent and sounds amazing live — definitely a rapper to watch. On another note, Pittsburgh's 19-yearold breakout kid Mac Miller hit the stage and based on all the buzzing and cheering, I expected something great. Instead, I ended up majorly disappointed. With the drop of a beat the dynamic went from chill to shrill. I was suddenly surrounded by flocks of screaming tween girls and listening to a mediocre dude singing about his Nike kicks and trying to get his swag on — I felt like I was at a wannabe gangster Justin Bieber concert. Although his tracks were fun and energetic, Miller’s frat-rap flow was choppy and lyrics vapid. Not to mention he came off as a bit too big for his britches (which were almost to his knees) by talking cocky to the crowd and running way over his given time slot. Thankfully when his set ended most of the Suburban teens scattered and we were able to stand get a perfect view of rap crew Doomtree whose intensity, playfulness, and energy blended together and spit straight

featuring samples of the White Stripes and Ratatat respectively, to the 1930’s sounding whistling that makes up the lighthearted track “Gatsby.” He also managed to sample By Jason Crider Elliott Smith’s “Twilight” in a way that sucjason.crider@secondsupper.com cessfully dodged the seemingly inevitable Even though I normally have little to awfulness that you can imagine would be no interest in anything involving rap or hip- the outcome of mixing Smith with hip-hop. hop, I found myself really enjoying La Crosse Most impressive. rap artist Kalyst’s latest release Shock Value. Although an enormous amount of the I suppose I should clarify, my enjoyment of album is made up of sampling from other the album manifests itself mostly in terms of artists, Kalyst still manages to present a very appreciation and admiration for what the healthy amount of diversity that keeps the album is or, more accurately, what it repre- album, for the most part, from feeling too sents. Over half of the album’s long or stagnant. The sampling 16 tracks feature other artists, can feel a bit overused at times, but which I realize is incredibly comfor the most part it’s used cleverly mon for this type of music, but and in a generally tasteful manner. the fact that every single one of Along those same lines, 16 tracks said artists is local, and that the is almost always too lengthy for a album’s beats and samples were single record, and Shock Value almost entirely locally produced is no exception, with some of the is something that came as a demore repetitive tracks tacked on toKalyst lightful surprise to me. wards the end making finishing the 'Shock Value' record in one sitting a tad on the Nothing unites a community quite like music does, and daunting side. that’s exactly what Kalyst seems to be trying For a freshman release though, these to do with this record, which is commend- types of flaws should really be taken as able to say the least. To me, that shows the room to grow, which is exactly what I extype of ambition local musicians should re- pect from this guy. And Kalyst has already ally strive for; it’s that kind of drive that could hit the ground running with Shock Value, really help to put La Crosse’s music scene on an in-your-face and upbeat first release that the map. That being said, this album’s ambi- doesn’t pull any punches, while still being tion lies in more than just it’s collaborative a very fun listen featuring an artist who is efforts. The songs range from the upbeat proud to represent the La Crosse area. tracks “!KaLySt!” and “Keep Me Down”

into our ears like a beat-blowing bullet. The juxtaposition of lyrics chock full of poetic metaphors and the punky, bouncy beats made for an unforgettable set. Maybe it’s the feminist in me talking, but female rapper Dessa stole the show with her solo performance of “Dixon’s Girl.” Homegirl’s got talent. Finally, they rolled in the big guns: “Greatest of all time” Brother Ali arrived on stage in a turtleneck and MPLS jersey and took the opportunity to present concertgoers with new material, even taking a notebook of brand-spanking new lyrics on stage with him to perform. Unfortunately, the packed crowd was either zapped of energy or too young to appreciate Golden-age era icons De La Soul, but Outkast’s Big Boi, who performed big hits “Ms. Jackson,” “The Way You Move,” got the spirits lifted and arms waving. In the end both groups did what they do best and delivered chest-thumping bass beats that proved more relevant than ever. Headlining for the fourth consecutive year, local heavyweight Atmosphere closed the show with a few tunes from new album The Family Sign but the old school set list of “Guns and Cigarettes”, “Sunshine”, “God Loves Ugly” and “Guarantees” where inarguably the crowd favorites. Like always, Slug’s message was positive and inspiring, as he encouraged fans to “smile” to their neighbors (a tribute to the late Eyedea) and hold up

Slug, one half of Atmosphere, performs at Soundset 2011. their hands in the shape of “L’s” for love. As the sun set, the spotlights shone and the wind blew a slight mist over the sea of thousands of chanting fans who prompting Slug to return on stage for an epic encore. No doubt there were thousands of tear-pooled eyes as the people swayed in peaceful unison and voice. Slug said, “for some of us, this is the closest to church we’re gonna get.” Now I know what people mean when they say “hip-hop is my religion.” And I have Soundset to thank for that.

Bloom into the new you at Secret Sun Salon Come in to welcome our new stylist Heidi & receive a free hair cut with any color service for new clients.

• 1/2 price spa services for new clients • Stop in and welcome our trendsetting stylists Heidi and Danya • Get your kiss from the sun in our high performance beds or go sunless with our Mystic Spray Tan Come in and relax with us at ~ Secret Sun Salon ~ where the sun is always out! 1910 Campbell Rd • La Crosse 608-782-7696 • secretsunlax.com

M-Th 8am-10pm; Fri 8am-8pm; Sat 9-5; Sun 12-5

8// June 2, 2011

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // June 3 to June 9

FRIDAY,

just a roadie away

June 3

Madison

4 SISTERS // 100 Harborview Plaza Don D. Harvey (acoustic) • 7 p.m.

population

208,054

Shufflin Dupree’s (R&B) • 7:30 p.m.

DAVID BAZAN // JUNE 7 The Annex • $12

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. Dan Sebranek (singer/songwriter) • 6 p.m.

WOOKIEFOOT // JUNE 10 Majestic Theatre • $10

HOFFERS // 500 Copeland Ave. Shawno & Echant (acoustic) • 9:30 p.m.

RUSTED ROOT // JULY 15 Majestic Theatre • $28

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Steve Meyer Blues Band (blues) • 8 p.m.

WAHNDER LUST // JULY 16 High Noon Saloon • $5

AMERICAN LEGION (ONA) // 731 Sandlake Rd.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Undead Mariners, Another Exoneration, Tavern (hip-hop) • 10 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Stumpwater (country) • 10 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Our American Cousin & Lovely Socialite Mrs. Thomas W. Phipps (folk, indie) • 8:30 p.m. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Dorian’s Decay (metalcore) • 6:30 p.m. THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany Quartet & 'The Usual Suspects' (jazz) • 8 p.m.

SATURDAY,

June 4

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. Dan Sebranek (singer/songwriter) • 6 p.m. HOG WILD // 3210 Hwy. 35 (Holmen) Hitchville (country) • 9:30 p.m. NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. The E-Rock Welcome to the adult WIAA Track Experience • 10 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Steve Meyer Blues Band (blues) • 8 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Evergreen Grass Band (bluegrass, punk Americana) • 10 p.m.

This Friday The Warehouse will be hosting Chicago-based metalcore/screamo outfit Dorian’s Decay for a CD release show promoting their new album “Alive By My Design.” This still relatively young 4-piece hardcore act creates their intense sound with a blend of southern rock-inspired guitar riffs, syncopated breakdowns and a mix of heavy screams and melodic vocal harmonies that has already garnered them the privilege of being compared to The Devil Wears Prada, one of the strongest and most innovative acts to ever grace the scene. This all-ages show starts at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased in advance at VPX Clothing downtown.

RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Olson Dunn Band • 8 p.m. TREMPEALEAU HOTEL // 11332 Main St. Lisa Wegner Band, Big Daddy Cade, Lamont Cranton (Blues Bash) • 2 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Jim Seem (acoustic/folk) • 8:30 p.m.

SUNDAY,

June 5

HALFWAY CREEK PARK BAND SHELL // 300 W. Roberts St., (Holmen) The Journeymen (Concerts in the Park) • 2 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm & Bill Raven (Palm Sunday, acoustic) • 4 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Kevin Koutnik (folk) • 8:30 p.m.

MONDAY,

June 6

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.

TUESDAY,

June 7

LA CRESCENT FARMERS MARKET // 109 Third St. S. Coulee Celtic Band (celtic) • 4 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Paulie (one-man band) • 10 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. 3rd Relation Jazz Trio • 8 p.m.

WEDNESDAY,

June 8

THE RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS // JULY 22 The Frequency • $12 JJO BAND CAMP & MUSIC FESTIVAL // JULY 30 Alliant Energy Center • $42

THURSDAY,

June 9

CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Hipster DJ (pretentious indie) • 10 p.m. CIATTI'S // 9348 Hwy. 16 Runaway (folk rock) • 6 p.m. NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. Shawno and Echant (acoustic) • 9 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. More Than Lights (hip-hop, indie) • 10 p.m.

BOOT HILL PUB // 1501 St. Andrew St. SOUTHSIDE NEIGH. CENTER // 1300 S. 6th St. Jerry Anderson and Neil Duresky (Pia- Muddy Flats and the Hepcats (blues) no/vocal) •5:30 p.m. • 7 p.m. CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Reggae vs. Hip-Hop (rare vinyl) • 10 p.m. Open Mic Night • 8:30 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (man about town) • 10 p.m.

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie (Jazz) • 5 p.m.

RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin' (jam grass) • 10 p.m.

THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Guardians, Beyond the Ocean Floor, Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, A Breed Unknown, This Ship Will Sink (metal, hardcore) • 7 p.m.

MY SECOND HOME // 2104 George St. Northside Jam • 6 p.m.

Second Supper

The Beer Review Saison Nøgne Ø Grimstad, Norway I had lots to be thankful for this Memorial Day — a swinging new apartment, old friends in town, my first paid holiday in five years, and of course the hard-fought freedoms afforded to Americans — but I was especially thankful for beer trades. If you’ve never traded beer before, I suggest you find a way to make it happen. I can’t remember the last time I boarded a plane without checking at least a six-pack, and I like to put in a request whenever a friend is driving in from some far off place. But this week’s review is a special one, as it goes

out to a Chicagoan I had never met before this weekend, although we participate in the same 400-page online beer discussion. (I’m not sure if that’s the geekiest sentence I’d ever written, but it’s pretty much par for this column.) Beer trades are the perfect form of conscientious commerce, so thank you Amy for all the great selections. Ironically enough, I shared the first bottles with another Chicagoan, former Second Supper editor Joel Kuenen who came to town without any beer but still has a fine palette in his own regard. On a 90-degree Memorial Day night, we sat on my new porch and drank one of the most refreshing beers I know of, a Saison, from one of the chilliest countries on earth, Norway. I loved it, and Joel said it was the best beer he drank all year.

Purchase: One 500ml bottle of Nøgne Ø Saison, acquired in a beer trade Style: Saison (also known as a Farmhouse ale) Strength: 6.5 percent ABV Packaging: Like all varieties of Nøgne Ø (pronounced “nirg nir”), the Saison comes in a slender brown bottle with a black label featuring a bold O, that’s probably the nil sign. For the Saison, both the brand name and O are printed a striking magenta. Appearance: Upon cracking open the top, a yeasty foam pokes out of the bottle like a turtle face. The beer itself is an opaque, cloudy orange-brown with a grey bubbly head. Aroma: The aroma is yeasty and citrusy with hints of fermented strawberries, Cherry 7-Up and Lemon Pledge. Taste: The first sip bubbles like champagne at the front of the tongue with a sweet

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

SUNDAY

BODEGA BREW PUB

BROTHERS

CLOSED

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

CARLIE'S ON THIRD

$5 domestic pitchers

1914 Campbell Road 782-7764

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FISH'S BAR & GRILL

Bar Menu

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$4 Rueben Sliders

$1 Wells, $5 Domestic pitchers All specials 9 p.m. to close

Wristband Night: AUC2D domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. to close

15-cent wings, $1.50 Keystone Lights, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call drinks. 2 For 1 Captains All specials 9 p.m. to close.

Wristband Night: AUC2D, Domestic $1 Bazooka Joes, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joes, $2 Cherry Bombs, taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. $3 Long Islands, $3 3 Olives Mixers $3 Long Islands, $3 Bacardi Mixers $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 to close. All specials 9 to close. All specials 9 to close.

5 domestic taps for $1; $2 domestic pitchers

$2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers; $1 shots of Doctor (3 flavors);

CLOSED

1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

IMPULSE

214 Main St. 782-6010 www.impulseoflacrosse.com

JB’S SPEAKEASY 717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

THE LIBRARY 123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS

All specials 9 to close.

$3 Bacardi mixers; $3 Three Olives vocka mixers (8 flavors); $2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2 (Holmen)

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un- Prime rib dinner 4-10; limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Bar Menu

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Dog in a Diaper, $5

Fish’s Fish Taco $3.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Chimis and Burritos, $5

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close ($7 after 11p.m.):; live DJ

$5 AUC2D Wristbands 9 p.m. to close ($10 after 11p.m.): Domestic Taps, Rail Mixers, Long Islands; Live DJ, Dancing 9 p.m. to close

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

CLOSED

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top shelf and specialty beers $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

SATURDAY

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

Free Beer: 5:30-6:30 p.m. Free Wings: 6:30-7:30 p.m. Free Bowling: After 9 p.m.

Bar Menu

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast CLOSED

FRIDAY

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles Karaoke 9 p.m. to close and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

400 Lang Drive 784-2242

HOWIE’S

CLOSED

THURSDAY

$1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do- Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine- $1.50 domestic bottles and rail 4 p.m. to close mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; close $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

1452 Caledonia St. 782-6446

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL

— Adam Bissen

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

CLOSED

115 3rd St. S 782-7550

backing of figs, orange marmalade, strawberries and caramel. But about halfway through powerful IPA-style hops (Crystal and East Kent Golding) fight back with potent assertiveness. Saisons are one of my favorite styles of beers, and this one has the most robust and complex profile I’d ever tasted. Mouthfeel: The Nøgne Ø has a fuller body than most Saisons, but it’s also bubbly with lingering, lick-smacking bitterness. Drinkability: Supremely drinkable. We could have split four bottles. Ratings: Not as popular as I expected, BeerAdvocate grades this Saison a B+ while RateBeer scores it a 92. I used to find Nøgne Ø in Woodmans and other fine alcohol emporiums, but it’s been a while since I’d seen it in La Crosse. Best advice: make friends in big cities.

MONDAY

122 4th St. 782-0677

EAGLES NEST

June 2, 2011 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; ($7 after 11p.m.): karaoke 10 p.m. to close

Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 Bombs

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos;: $11 Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and 12-inch pizza $8.99 buckets during pro and college foot- college football games. Happy Hour Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. ball games. 2 to 6 p.m.; $2 pints all day $1 Taps & Rails during the game ; $6 wristbands starting at 7pm.

14-inch pizza, $2 off; Wings Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps K$2 Double rails and all bottles; $3 and rails Double call drinks

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

$1.89 hamburger + toppings Ladies Fish Dinner Special-$7.89 night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos; $11 buckets during pro and college football games.

Wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, $2 U-Call-its for domestic taps, $2 U-Call-its for domestic taps, 50¢ shots (3 flavors); $2.50 Tuaca, domestic bottles, rail mixers & select domestic bottles, rail mixers & select Jack Daniel's & SoCo Mixers call mixers. call mixers

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod- $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.) Bombs (7-1 a.m.) (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$1.75 PBR Bottles $2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 Grain Belt

$2 Coors & Coors Light Bottles, $2.50 $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans Skyy mixers, $2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

$1.50 taps PBR, $1.50 rails

$2 domestic bottles, $3 call doubles

$2 taps, $3 Jack and Captain doubles

$2 Miller products, $8.50 fish bowls

137 4th St. 782-6622 308 4th St. S. 782-9069

126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$2 domestic taps, $3 Three Olives products

10// June 2, 2011

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

By Erich Boldt

Second Supper

"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" Vanishing without a trace. By Matt Jones

• La Crosse • Sparta • Richland Center • Prairie du Chien Birth Control Services Annual Exams for Women STD Testing & Treatment for Men and Women Pregnancy Testing Emergency Contraception Call for an appointment today!

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Helping create healthy lives and families.

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614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Graphic Designer: Jenn Bushman jenn.bushman@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Jason Crider, Ashly Conrad, Ben DeLine, Marcel Dunn, Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Briana Rupel, Julie Schneider, Stephanie Schultz, Nate Willer Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

ACROSS 1 Kickstart a battery 5 Lick 9 "Going Back to ___" (LL Cool J single) 13 Early Peruvian 14 "Shepherd Moons" singer 15 Sleeps lightly 16 Back-of-the-book section where Boston is located? 18 Like some rights or pay 19 Blasting stick 20 "___ for Cookie, that's good enough for me..." 22 Abbr. on a food label 23 Approve of a Bond Doctor's evildoings on Facebook? 29 "___ of Two Cities"

30 Student helpers 31 King, in Cancun 32 Paper bundle 34 Play by the rules 38 Jeep-financing co. 40 Store you go to "for all your pod-based needs"? 42 Do the laundry 43 Alaska Airlines logo feature 45 Quaintly formal letter opening 47 Best Picture nominee starring Jamie Foxx 48 Highbrow film director 50 Tournament type 52 On a shortage of know-how? 56 Former "World Series of Poker" champ Ungar

Answers to May 19 puzzle "Numb & Number"—hat do you mean they don't exist?.

57 Nile biter 58 It's small and strummable 59 Uses as a source 61 What Sgt. Schultz really knew (but would never admit) on "Hogan's Heroes"? 67 Integra maker 68 Kelly of TV talk 69 Otherwise 70 Tabula ___ 71 Comet's trailer 72 Rib in a bedframe DOWN 1 Comedian Gaffigan 2 One, to Juana 3 They take the mic 4 1980s shade 5 Square meal? 6 Defensive position 7 "Sure thing," in Scotland 8 Savings from the IRS, maybe 9 ___ au vin 10 As blue as the sky 11 Job search hits 12 Ibiza and Minorca, for example 15 Craving 17 Word before child or circle 21 Curve on a weather map 23 Fries size 24 Grocery checkout count 25 Boat that goes back and forth? 26 Ninja projectile 27 Improves, like

airplane seating 28 Like vulgar videos at your day job, for short 33 Goes overboard with the acting 35 Producer Spelling or Sorkin 36 Bartender on "The Love Boat" 37 Write lyrics, often 39 "Bye, bambino" 41 Ireland, in Ireland 44 Scar's nemesis, in "The Lion King" 46 Like some dog collars 49 Know-it-all 51 Big name in candy cups 52 Nunez of "The Office" 53 NY city on the Mohawk 54 Hippos' garb in "Fantasia" 55 Out in farm country 60 Major time period 62 By means of 63 Prefix for phenomenon 64 "___ buy that for a dollar" 65 Hush-hush govt. agency 66 Understand ©2011 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@ jonesincrosswords.com)

ARTS

Second Supper

The Majak Mixtape By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com Oh New York congressman Rep. Anthony Weiner, how are you doing? Politicians all over the place aspire for national exposure, being little political moths to the flickering flame that is an open microphone. You have unfortunately gotten that exposure because of some indecent exposure of a picture sent by way of Twitter. As the press continues to delve into the who, when, where, why and how big of the situation, we’re here to offer you some support in this mixtape we’re dubbing “All Weiner, No Buns.” The first song on our Mixtape is “It Ain’t Me” from punk-rock outfit The Reatards’ classic album “Teenage Hate,” which is being re-issued this week. News spread fast about Rep. Weiner supposedly tweeting a photo of his crotch clad in some underwear to a 21-year-old female college student. While the photo was addressed directly to that particular Tweeter, the picture ended up in the Twitter thread of all of Rep. Weiner’s followers. Which, come on? WHO

HASN’T THAT HAPPENED TO? Anyway, Rep. Weiner quickly had the photo deleted and immediately claimed that the photo wasn’t of him. Anyway, while Rep. Weiner claims it was a hacker that sent out the photo, which leads us to the song “Codes and Keys” from Death Cab for Cutie’s brand new album of the same name. We’ll give benefit of the doubt to Rep. Weiner and say that the whole thing was just the work of a hacker who simply couldn’t resist a good Weiner/wiener joke, which, if caught, will probably make up the bulk of the hacker’s defense for why he/she decided to show off a different kind of political “poll.” And while Weiner claims he was hacked, we have to say that politicians seem to have the impulse control of middle school children when it comes to using the Internet. Just a few months ago a married Republican N.Y. Representative resigned after sending a shirtless photo of himself to some woman on Craigslist. This leads us to our next song, “The Present State of Grace” from Flogging Molly’s new album “The Speed of Darkness” because the present state of grace in Washington is apparently at least partially disrobed. Buy: The Melvins, “Sugar Daddy Live” YouTube: Wish, “Feel Ur Beat.” Read: Indie Shuffle www.indieshuffle.com Be sure to get your daily stunning, flawless, amazing, snatching-the-wig-off-your favorite-dose of the Majak Mixtape at the Majak Kingdom blog www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com

June 2, 2011 // 11

The Arts Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) Director: Jason Eisener Staring: Rutger Hauer, Brian Downey, Gregory Smith Writer: John Davies Flat out: Hobo with a Shotgun made me feel good to be alive. It’s the most wonderfully ridiculous film I’ve seen in ages. A perfect mixture of dirtbag '80s vigilante cinema with the sort of bloody exploitation flick that most filmmakers totally f*** up by trying to play it cool, Hobo’s secret ingredient is its winning personality. While there’s no shortage of tits and blood to be found here, those elements aren’t crammed down the viewer’s throat to compensate for the rest of a dull f***ing movie. Instead, the creators of this instant classic are obviously great big wonderful dorks, and it’s clear that their first and foremost goal in making Hobo with a Shotgun was to have the most fun they could possibly have. They succeeded. There’s something almost Road Houseesque about the resulting hour and a half of cinema, featuring Rutger Hauer rambling

around the urban decay as a half-crazed trainhopper. Hauer’s unnamed vagrant hobbles into a town ruled by the razorblade fist of a murderous tyrant, and after a brief and ill-advised period of trying to get by unscathed, our hobo hero finds his trusty shotgun and trusty hooker sidekick, and he goes on a philosophyand-pun-fueled ass kicking rampage. Sure, Swayze’s Zen bouncer was a touch less schizophrenic than Hauer’s glass eating Hobo, but their hearts are filled with the same triumphant justice! Our Hobo’s epic saga is fraught with awesome villainy. The city’s genocidal dictator is a Napoleonic imp on an endless seizure of spastic screaming, and his demon enforcers, two walking suits of murder armor, are completely kickass. The cream of the scum, however, comes in the form of the two sons of the dictator, a pair of letter jacket and sunglassesat-night sporting yuppie bastards who wreak bloody entitlement with the greatest of glee. These jerks are responsible for most of the film’s greatest moments, including its zenith in which they take a flamethrower to a bus full of kids while getting down to “Disco Inferno.” It might have been a gruesome scene if it wasn’t played so silly. In Hobo, the absurd is everywhere, and it’s hilarious. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a movie with so many fantastically bad oneliners, and the shit which comes out of these characters’ mouths is the gold which steers the ship. The Hobo’s behavioral idiosyncrasies and violence so over the top as to be rendered slapstick only enhance the film’s sense of nonsense. For all of its hoboeroticism, I love the shit out of Hobo with a Shotgun.

— Brett Emerson

top shots joke of the week

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12// June 2, 2011

The Advice Goddess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Sane-sex attraction

I’m an African-American gay woman in my mid-20s. I initially had relationships with men, but I’m just not attracted to or compelled by them. Women make me feel alive, exhilarated, connected, and challenged, and sex is the bomb. So, I know I truly love women … but most lesbians, including my current girlfriend, are crazy. I can’t deal with their constant breakdowns because I didn’t call enough, compliment enough, rub enough, or whatever else I should be doing but am not. Things felt more emotionally balanced with men (probably because I didn’t really care). I feel stuck between engaging in meaningless relationships with men and living a life of passion and disappointment with women. What would you do if you were in my little gay pink slippers? —- Fed Up I think you need to follow the Internet traffic. A substantial portion seems to be those forwarded lists — from both men and women — explaining why whichever sex they’re dating compares unfavorably

Second Supper

THE LAST WORD to dogs. Clearly, we should ditch these complicated human relationships for a simpler kind of love — the one we’d share with a partner who’s beyond happy as long as we keep throwing it a dirty tennis ball and dropping pieces of food on the floor. The sad fact is, anyone who can’t describe him or herself as “cocker spanielcurious” has a problem. According to women, men’s emotions run the gamut from H to H (Hungry to Horny), they think the correct place for a wet towel is “wherever it happens to fall when they’re done drying off,” and they leave the toilet seat up and still manage to miss the bowl. (“Why, why, why, when you have a pee device shaped like a pointer?”) Men find women naggy, controlling, and prone to verbal excess — that is, when they aren’t expressing themselves with pouting and drawer-slamming. The man’s left to parse whether the acting out is just a fun feature of her monthly Mr. Toad’s Wild Hormone Ride — or indicative of some crime on his part, like the failure to celebrate their second weekiversary (that all-important two-week anniversary of their second date). You’ve been dating women for what, 22 minutes, and a handful of emo chicks later, you’re ready to pack it in for emotionally dead relationships with men? Women tend to be more emotionally demanding — probably because they evolved to look for displays of commitment from a partner. But, women aren’t your problem and men aren’t the solution. Like a lot of people in their 20s, you’re probably a crappy gatekeeper — prone to rushing into a relationship because

a woman’s hot and fun. Before getting serious, you need to do the rationality and groundedness entrance exam: “What kind of circus are we entering into here? Will somebody be swinging from the chandelier because we got her the ‘wrong’ birthday card?” That said, a healthy relationship involves taking pleasure in doing the little things that please your partner — even if you find them somewhat silly. If you get tired from all the rubbing and complimenting or whatever, go to lunch with a bunch of straight women and you’ll be reminded that anybody who dates anybody has it rough. People — can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em and be absolutely sure you’ll get off on a technicality.

really loved you, he’d have his ex’s picture on his nightstand and stick yours between fat dead Uncle Joe and the fishing picture of his pimply cousins. Or, better yet, he could just forget that the house is a shared space — shared with his ex-wife — and post a picture of her replacement over the fireplace. Should you say something? Absolutely… to a therapist, before your toxic fear and festering insecurity drive your boyfriend to relocate your photo to a place many will see it — if they remove the note taped over your face reading, “Yard Sale, everything on this table 50 cents or less.”

Custer’s last nightstand My boyfriend still shares a weekend/vacation house with his ex-wife. He just framed a photo of me and put it on the nightstand next to his bed, the spot where he previously put unimportant photos — ones of his dogs and trips with college friends. All the photos of his family members (and of his now-ex-wife) are along the stairway. Should I say something? —-Hurting Are the throw pillows plotting against you? Has his trash been talking trash about you again? It seems you’re a Couch Whisperer, blessed with the rare gift for understanding the secret language of household objects. You know better than to find it sweet that your picture is the last thing the guy’ll look at before he falls asleep and the first thing he’ll see upon waking up. If he

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