Poetry Behind the Walls - Vol 5 Issue 1 (December 2012)

Page 1

P B w

Volume 5 Issue 1 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls


Poetry Behind the Walls is a project of Save the Kids. Save the Kids is a national grass-roots movement to keep kids out of incarceration and away from violence by working to end of the school-to-prison pipeline. Kim Socha Normandale Community College 9700 France Ave S. Bloomington, MN 55431 www.savethekidsgroup.org 315.657.2911 ISSN: 2168-8583 (print) ISSN: 2168--8591 (online)

Published by Arissa Media Group, a project of the Institute for Critical Animal Studies. www.criticalanimalstudies.org ICAS International Address: PO Box 965 Binghamton, NY 13902 Printed in United States Š 2012 Poetry Behind the Walls


Poetry Behind the Walls Volume 5 Issue 1 2012


Editorial Board | Editor | Tessa Mortenson Hamline University poetrybehindthewalls@gmail.com | Associate Editor | Dr. Kim Socha Instructor of English, Normandale Community College | Managing Editor | Dr. Anthony J. Nocella II Visiting Professor of Education, Hamline University | Review Board | Deanna Adams Instructor, National-Lewis University Dr. Daniel White Hodge Assistant Professor of Youth Culture, North Park University Dr. Mecke Nagel Professor of Philosophy, SUNY Cortland Dr. Priya Parmar Associate Professor of Education, CUNY Brooklyn

Thank you.


About PBW Poetry Behind the Walls (PBW) is one of the only on-going journals in the world that is dedicated to writings from youth who are incarcerated.

P B W Mi s s i o n The mission of Poetry Behind the Walls (PBW) is to provide a space and place for youth voices who are incarcerated to critically express their experiences related to the criminal justice system, school system, and their community. PBW is dedicated to promoting social justice and critical thinking about education, poverty, sexism, racism, ageism, ableism, sexism, homophobia, and all other forms of oppression. PBW supports youth to express themselves non-violently as well as encourages youth when they see their work published. This journal is grounded in Hip Hop culture. Therefore, when you read this journal, writing may often not reflect colonial engli$h. PBW, a grassroots project of Save the Kids, is a fully volunteer organization. PBW does not profit from any sales of the journal. All proceeds go back to buying materials to work with kids who are incarcerated. PBW is always open to collaborate with other organizations and community members to further the voice of youth who are incarcerated. poetrybehindthewalls@gmail.com www.savethekidsgroup.org


Submissions Poetry Behind the Walls is open to all incarcerated youth throughout the world. We would like all writing to promote inclusion, equity, and social justice -directly or indirectly. We will not publish hate speech or offensive language. It does not matter what kind of writing ability the youth exhibit. Correct spelling does not matter. Please send submissions via e-mail to: poetrybehindthewalls@gmail.com. Include full contact information, name, address, age, and jail or detention facility. The “Poetry Behind the Walls� author contract is on the following page. This must be signed by every author. Please sign the contract and send it to: Kim Socha Normandale Community College 9700 France Ave S. Bloomington, MN 55431 Contracts can be scanned and sent to poetrybehindthewalls@gmail.com


Behi nd th e Wa l l s P rod u c t ions Contr act I: _____________________________________ allow the editors/producers of Behind the Walls Productions and Save the Kids to produce my original art work in the form of (e.g., poem, spoken-word, short-story, drawing or other art): _________________________________________________ titled: ___________________________________________ that I have written in (note the given jail, facility, or detention:) _________________________________________________ located at (address): _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ in the “Poetry Behind the Walls” journal. I allow only using my first name and not my last for confidentiality as a youth, and my given facility, state, and country in which I produced my work. I allow my writing or art to be used in all versions and media of the production/ publication and in the advertising and promoting thereof and for the “Poetry Behind the Walls” journal. In exchange for my contribution, I will receive one free copy of the material. ___________________________ _______________ Author Print

Date

___________________________

_______________

Author Signature

Date

___________________________

_______________

Witness Print

Date

___________________________

_______________

Witness Signature

Date


“DURING YOUR LIFE NEVER STOP DREAMING. NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR DREAMS.”

Tupac


CONTE NTS POETRY

12 - 97

PHOTO FEATURE

98-99

INTERVIEW

100-103

SHORT STORIES

104-133

ARTWORK

15 25 39 46-49 55 58-59 67 93 100

BY: RICHARD ROSS

WITH MALO


The Thing Is...

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

De’Sco AKA Commonly Unspoken I survive everyday and strive to live. I talk as though I’m educated. And walk with my head held high. I try to live I try to write I try to be attentive I try to be better I strive to succeed but you shut me down you locked me up in a cage and expected me to change. You expected me to do better you put me in a place of despair, loneliness, longing, hurt. I wish yall would understand. Let me live then after I’m done leave me alone…

10

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Jail Breezy B

Hennepin Juvenile

Nights are cold, Rooms are dark, And then you look outside You see people outside your window, and they look so happy down below.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

11


My Choices I’m locked up from the choices I made but now I sit in my cell from the decision I made I know I got to change quick before they take my life. I just wanna house and a nice wife.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

JaQuan

12

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


When I Get Out JaQuan

When I get out I got to put down the gun When I get out I got to do the right thing When I get out I got to make my family happy When I get out I got to stay Out of trouble by hitting the books.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

13


But he is white.

My name is Shy. I’m in Hillbrook and I’m 14 years old. I have a lot to say about this cop. I don’t know his name,

When I walk down the streets, I see a lot of cops everywhere I go And I get stopped for nothing. The cops love to stop people for nothing. All I do is chill and the cops got to stop me for nothing. I ask them why is ya’ll stopping me? They don’t got nothing to say. This story is about cops.

Shykeem

WH EN I WAL K IN T HE ST REET S Hillbrook Juvenile Detention Center, NY


Shaquille

Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

15


Hillbrook

Hillbrook Juvenile Detention Center, NY

Dylan Hate these wack uniforms. I ain’t bluffin I straight hate the cops. I could be getting them bills. Instead I’m caged in, eatin’ nasty meals.

16

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Love Never Lost Kayshona

Hennepin Juvenile

Once it is true you can’t take it. Once you love someone you can’t say your love is lost cause you did it. But maybe it was never there. Don’t say you love me when you love yourself and don’t care how I will feel.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

17


Sometimes Im in Jail n it feel like hell. ma don’t pick up the phone sometimes I feel alone. Sometimes I call on people but still I’m alone. Sometimes I feel right. Sometimes I feel wrong.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Dominique

18

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

19


Early Never Late

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Dartanion

You get caught at the scene Something like your worst dreams And you’re hoping that it’s not what it seems But that is what reality brings It brings things that aren’t worthwhile You ain’t do nothing now you on trial You wanna call God but ain’t got the heart to dial Now you in jail and you tryin’ to change your style Real talk it’s too late You made it this far then you made a mistake Trust me it aint’ worth it For a second it was workin’ Now it’s worthless You’re wishing you could do something about it You had to prove that you was about it Now you in jail and you can’t get up out it Better yet doing time that ain’t even counting Did so many crimes that your file is a mountain Yea, it’s late but it’s gonna be another day If you’re weak your gonna break down But just keep your head up and don’t let your face down.

20

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


The Highest Dartanion

Instead of having a glock on my hip I waste time like it’s a clock on my hip On the belt if you talking non-fiction I’m aimin’ for my goal and I will not miss it Tie your shoes and stop trippin’ Please tell me what’s not different. Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

21

Detention Center, MN

And the money I get’s it Find me in the cut right by the stitches I stay in school you can check my attendance And I’m always in the sky like a flight attendant

Hennepin Juvenile

I wish everything could be resolved into peace But it’s the things that we learn in the streets I’d rather turn my life around than to turn into a beast In this world you can cry yourself to sleep then die in the sheets Wake up in heaven or burn in hell I learned how to speak and I learned it well Life is hard and it might get stale And sometimes I can’t wait so forget your scale I took an hour trying to take a minute And my family wishes they could visit Now my life and my light’s missin’ So I guess I need night vision


My Mind

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Dartanion

I speak my mind - my brain is never silent and that always keeps pain from turning into violence. I don’t mind it, people quick to- but I timed it, everytime I rewind, it reminds me, Therefore I keep up, hands on the ground, wit my feet up, So my hand stands, It’s a lotta things in this world that I can’t stand, but I stand up to it, and I man up to it, God is my umbrella and the devil is the rain. And Imma ride for my guys till the pedal hit the chain. Slowly I’m changing, If you ain’t head it yet then my story contains it, All I’m tryin’ to do is make it thru this life makin’ with a white shirt hopin’ that I don’t stain it. They say words hurt but to me they’re painless I’m shootin’ for the stars and somehow I’m not aimin’ I went in the house first, seconds later money came in. Then a couple years later my world had caved in. And I ain’t have nothing to work wit like a caveman,

22

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


So God made it a way like he paved it, like pavement, pay-me-n-t was a statement can’t nothing replace it, I’m still makin’ payments. Still in debt with society, And it some things that a x-ray can’t see like my pain and my hurt. Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

23


The Truth Devin

All we got is hope on the block.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

I wanna be free, so courage is all I seek. So I’m on the grind faithfully chasin’ after my dreams.

24

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center, MN

Name Unknown

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

25


A Long Time Coming

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

Angel

It’s been 9 real months I spent with you Laughing, caring, and loving too At times I think we were meant to be. The problem wasn’t you, I noticed it was me. And time brought me to this conclusion That having you wasn’t just an illusion I never seen me being with you But the feelings I gained are oh so true, You taught me and I taught you, And now I’m in jail so what we gon’ do? Only time can tell that I felt I should love you because you always had my back Thanks cause a lot of girls would back out, And time may seem long, but it’s really not We had a long time running, but as time gets near There’s been a long time coming and for you I’m here.

26

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Love you much!! Angel

As memories get deeper and thoughts get clearer, you still seem to shine your beauty reflects off a mirror. I look at you as more than a friend. Even if we wanted to, this relationship could never end. I realized the things I do can drive you crazy, But if I could have been in your shoes I would have had the baby. Just so I can know how your heart beats, Or how you express your feelings towards me. You never know what you have until it flies away; I love you much is what I’m tryin to say. I love you Ashley!

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

27

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

I know it’s been times when you missed my touch. I just wanna let you know I miss you much. When time is here I wanna love you up. Just because I love you much. Our relationship started off just as lust. But now look…I love you much.


Lies, Years, Pain -N- Tears

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

Angel

My lies, the years, the pain, your tears My lies, the years, the pain, your tears The lies, the years, pain –n– tears I was always there when no one was there So you could never say that I never care Imma love you forever baby I swear. Yea Baby I know we done been through it all but I’ll be behind you so don’t fall -n- when you’re in need just give me a call. Stronger than any other so we stand tall like the highest mountain we’ll never fall. Baby I’m sorry for the lies, pain –n– tears that I put you through in the last couple years I want you to understand that I really care. Sorry for the times I wasn’t really there and I appreciate that you put up with the lies, the pain –n– tears. The lies, the pain –n– tears.

28

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Crazy Angel

Sittin in this jail –n- I’m startin to go crazy Stressed out, sick and I’m feelin real lazy I think its cause I miss my number one lady I’m locked up and I don’t know what to do Wish I can come home and be next to you and Annalise too I’m so sick I think I got the flu Don’t know when I’m getting out I have no clue Baby girl I wish that I knew I been goin crazy because I miss you Can’t wait to come home to hug –n- kiss you

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

29

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

Crazy if they try to make me Baby I don’t think they understand you ma only Lady Days go by without you –n- I’m startin to go crazy Can’t wait to come home to show love to my baby


Below the Surface Jalen


Below the surface lies many things like Hopes and dreams and even wedding rings. In my life I’m just a plain human being. But I can’t explain your life or what you seeing. I’ve made bad decisions and I’ve come to new conclusions.

But once I find this true meaning I’ll truly know that I’m NOT DREAMING.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

31

Detention Center, MN

I was born into a life of no meaning. So everyday I set out to give my life meaning.

Hennepin Juvenile

Everyday is a new mission Life is confusing and fun just keep your priorities in check and your relationships uncomplicated. And you won’t be left crying in the rain completely devastated.


Pain I Feel

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Adriana

I was sent to a place I don’t like. I was placed in a middle of no where I was in no hope of going where I want to go. I remember, I went to the woods. I saw the moon and the stars. For the first time in my life I saw a shooting star. Then I walked through a field, full of glass. In bushes I tried to get through it but I was more stuck than getting around it. All I could feel is pain going all over my body I could only think of my pain that’s going on. That’s how all my problems feel, every poke hurts.

32

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


A Wish Not Granted Adriana

Hennepin Juvenile

I wish the world was a better place Where there’s no drugs and violence No jails or detentions or negativity But I only see this in my dreams not in real life. I use this place to escape my problems and feel calm. I wish my world was like this forever.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

33


Mirror, Mirror I Miss My Freedom!

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Adriana Mirror Mirror on the wall I am sorry I avoid mirrors Mirror Mirror on the wall I don’t take mirror’s advice Mirror Mirror on the brick wall I don’t like being locked up Mirror Mirror in JDC I like mirrors in my house but not here.

34

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


School Adriana

Hennepin Juvenile

Always skipping school because I thought it was cool. Now it’s coming back at me. It affects my daily life because I do not learn anything. Now I regret skipping school I really just want to learn.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

35


The Voices in My Head

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Adriana Everybody has a voice in their head That tells them what’s good and what’s bad Mines tell me I should go to school sometimes it tells me to not listen to my teachers everybody else’s tell them not to go to school or sometimes it tells them to go to sleep in class. Some people don’t notice it but I named mine, and sometimes I can’t sleep because my voice in my head won’t be quiet. I don’t know if people notice it but I enjoy mine!

36

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Incarceration Adriana

Hennepin Juvenile

Being locked up sucks because‌ It’s hot in here, you get fat after food and it gets me in a bad mood. When I get in a bad mood, I get put in my room Then I get DRT time I assume. When I get DRT time I read my books to move time faster.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

37


My Thoughts DeAngelo

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

I think about my consequences and what they handed me. See me now and look where it landed me. I think about what I do to my moms and how she is feeling. I wanna succeed and see my mom happy. I think about where imma be when I’m 23. I wanna succeed and see my mom smiling. That’s my thoughts when I’m in J.D.C.

38

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Gus

Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

39


Next Day Air Poem

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Abdiel I came from Puerto Rico & Rico law got me. Now I’m in jail wishing to be set free cuz I wanna see the next day future of me. I miss home and I miss my people especially my uncle named Luisito. He got shot with a couple amigos. I know I want to get out of this mess, but every time I’m trying to get out they drag me back with drugs and money. My homies always smoking. I try to stop but they always joking. On the streets they say doing me is selfish but I say I am the only one in here and I want to change my life. But it is hard to do it on my own it is like I need help. But I look around and I see no one climbing up the hill just me and myself. All I want is freedom and not just for me but for all my amigos locked up by the Rico in Puerto Rico.

40

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Keep Me Out Da System Tallisha

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

41

Detention Center, MN

On my way to be something so just stop all da hate. Cuz I know money and music is my official fate.

Hennepin Juvenile

Keep me out da system, cuz im tryna be better. Hard headed, thought these streets was my only way to the chedda. Gimme some faith, God please gimme some hope. Get outta here on business, man I can only hope. Get an education, I can’t make no mistake. And stay away from all these drug doin, street livin, goin nowhere fakes.


The Concrete Diego

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

I’m walking the concrete, Holy graphic images, Allusion and confusion. My name is Diego, And I am just a confused one. You think you is the cool one. That is your confusion You already locked up And now you need to overcome, The things that you have done.

42

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Baby I’m Sorry Diego

Baby I’m sorry I don’t mean to waste your time I just want to know what’s on your mind Baby you is mine

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

Baby I’m sorry I don’t mean to waste your time I just want to know what’s on your mind Baby you’re fine

43


Grandpa... Grandma

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

Diego

I can’t believe it. Everybody say they ain’t see it. They can’t do nothin’. I’m not with it.

44

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


See What I Mean Montisze

Poetry Behind the Walls

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Hennepin Juvenile

See what I mean? Every time I wake up I feel myself dying. See what I mean? I don’t want to be in here all my life. See what I mean? I just want to get out of here. Help, me Lord! See what I mean? I think of myself by having a family, but they’re not here. See what I mean? Every time I think of you I see death. See what I mean? But sometimes I get scared at night if I’m not with you. See what I mean? I just need a favor. You got me Lord? Please help me. See what I mean?

45



“

get diploma, great job, provide for me and my child, and be successful in life.�

5/25/12


Just don’t like it [jail] because i be missing my peoples most of all my girl.”



Girls, Girls, Girls

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Montrell

She looked right She looked nice She was like the thief who come and stole me out the night If she was my remote, I’d take control If she parked in my lot, I would pay her toll... Then from the distance I hear my ma sayin “Son slow ya roll!”

50

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Things I Carry Deshawn

Hennepin Juvenile

Things I carry is jail which is scary and little money for commissary. I used to dream of being on a team name known everywhere making a lot of green but all that changed with one bad decision now I’m sitting in Jail on my way to Prison with a bunch of yelling “I forbid!” with no one on my side as I do my bid.

Detention Center, MN


Glory Days

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Chaz

When it’s all said and done we watch our glory days. We watch our glory days. We watch our glory days. When it’s all said and done I want the world to know my name. That one man tried to make change. See, my people kill each other. Man that sadness brings me pain. Want my brothers to learn new ways and cope with different things. To watch children grow up and stop joining gangs. We need our people to know and never forget where we came from, dog. They used to treat us in a way we most regret. Now we disrespect our women. If you really think about it, dog, that’s from where we came. Our people paid for our way so we can live dis life. If you think about it, bro, we not even living right. When all is said and done we all go and fade but at the end of dis life we watch our glory days.

52

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


When all is said and done we watch our glory days. We watch our glory days. We watch our glory days.

Man, we all can be happy and see the greater day ‘cause when you think about life, it’s not just to play. Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

53

Detention Center, MN

When it’s all said and done, we watch our glory days. We watch our glory days. We watch our glory days.

Hennepin Juvenile

Listen to what I’m saying. You know it’s real. Why we sit upon this world to do the act and kill? I speak for everybody when we see someone die. Do you know how it feels to see your mom cry? Looking at her face with tears in her eyes, she’s asking God “Why? Why couldn’t they survive?” “Why didn’t kids listen so they could stay alive?” But the people don’t care what’s in this little rhyme, but I am here to tell the people, it’s about time! Time to see change and turn it around, ‘cause we’re tired of seeing too many young kids go in the ground. Six feet under is not the place to be. But when it’s all said and done, you’re all going to see.


Looking For Love

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Chaz I have been looking for love in all the wrong places. Searching for somebody to give my heart to so they can fill these empty spaces. Asking God to send somebody to relieve me of this pain and the hatred. And if I shall find love how can I as a man face it? Never felt love before so how would I know if she can really love me or is she fakin’? But still looking for love, asking myself could it find me? My life is like a puzzle and love is that missing piece. Waking up in the morning and asking myself would I ever find somebody who really cares about me? Locking my feelings up and throwing away the key. Until I find love I will never be complete. But still looking for love, asking myself: could it find me?

54

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Josh


Overcome The torture in my brain is causin’ the fortune to my fame to collapse to the ground like a pilot who left his plane. But I gotta keep movin’ to the destination where I left my game. Gotta put it on A lock cuz I know that it will be detained. Talk bout me A-N-G-E-L she the only Lady MC that’s been detained in Juvie, JD I know yall hate me. Thank me fa later I kno ya’ll haters. How’s it feel? Not good, shed a tear? Probably should so it will all dwindle away and you can let go of your fears.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Angel

56

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Grinnin’ Osiah

Hennepin Juvenile

Nobody listens. That’s not mine! I didn’t do it! They just need to satisfy the victim The prosecutor scars your life While your insides die; while getting sentenced Parents cryin’ all that time Prosecutor and police grinnin’ If it was vice versa they’d pray to their God but it won’t be like that. No remorse; no 2nd chance. Prosecutors and police grinnin’.

Detention Center, MN

I’m sittin in a cell ain’t no rehab to be getting. In here they give us nasty food, old clothes and da CO’s grinnin’. When you stop to think about it… The people supposed to protect and serve only think about numbers and quotas Yes! I did it But while we’re here they’re at home grinnin’.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

57


Gabriela Detention Center, MN Hennepin Juvenile

58

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Alone Gabriela

Hennepin Juvenile

In a cell all alone. No one knows my feelings cuz I don’t let them be shown. Keep a smile on my face. Only time will tell as I count the days.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

59


Love & Hate

Hillbrook Juvenile Detnetion Center, NY

Lucas

My family I love My family I hate My family can love My family can hate My family can love me My family can hate me My family could know me My family could show me My family will miss me My family will kiss me My family is awesome My family is mine My family is one of a kind My family will love me My family will hate me

60

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Can’t Leave Lucas

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

Hillbrook Juvenile Detnetion Center, NY

I am locked up I got in trouble It is fun at times There is nothing else to do Now I’m here in these blues From head to toe We can’t do what we want I don’t like the fences I can’t go home I can’t talk to people I can’t see people I can’t have fun

61


My Clock Keeps Ticking

Hillbrook Juvenile Detnetion Center, NY

Lucas

Tick, tick, tick My clock goes around My clock doesn’t stop My clock is plain My clock shows no pain My clock has no feeling My clock has no morals My clock is on the wall My wall stands tall My wall is plain My wall shows no pain My wall has no feelings My wall has no morals My wall has a clock that won’t stop Until the day that it drops

62

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Raspberry Lucas

Sweet, sour, awesome I love the raspberries The flavor is sweet The flavor is sour The flavor is awesome

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

63


Ravens

Hillbrook Juvenile Detnetion Center, NY

Lucas

Sleek black and fierce The ravens are wonderful The ravens are scary The ravens are feared The people are dumb The people are ignorant The people don’t know The ravens are great But the ravens are feared And the ravens are spit on And the ravens are hated But the ravens know And the people don’t.

64

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Untitled Lekevic

See what I see…

Feel what I feel… Like jumping off a cliff Betrayed Forgotten Lost Confused Defeat Scared Unsure

Hear what I hear… A lot of snitches Loud mouths Orders T.V. Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

65

Hennepin County Jail, MN

People trying to fit in to be cool Lames People trying to get over on the next person Grown men doing dumb stuff to get locked up Trouble makers Nasty food...A lot of candy bars Cards People telling me what to do all day Locked doors Window...Walls Haters


Raygne Black is beautiful. Black is me. Black is the color, can’t you see. White is cool and Tan is neat but Black is beautiful and Black is me.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Black is Beautiful

66

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

67


My World is Not Round Soldon

My world is not round, it has been broke down, by the people called family now, they taught me to be tuff, mean and full of anger. They even told me not to talk to strangers. My world is not round, it has been torn apart ever since I was born from the very start, growing up without a dad, everyone knows that’s bad.

68

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


My world is not round, it is a black hole, to grow up in my life, you would not want to pay that toll. My world is not round, it is a Dead End. Family drinkin’ every weekend. I’m thinking to myself when this gon’ end? I can make a decision to end myself, but what would they do? Drink away their wealth. Hennepin County Jail, MN

Sometime I feel like I’m all alone, where are my family and friends? Are they dead? Are they gone? So I start to feel, all I have is myself, So I start to think of ways to build my mind, body, and soul. I tell myself I can’t give up, someone loves me and if not, I love myself. So I start to wonder beyond my range, I tell myself my world can change. I can go to college and gain some knowledge, to be the best man I can be to have a better world for me.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

69


Be Something in Life

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Kamarei

If you look in my eyes you can see pain If you go in my head you will see I’m going insane If you look in my past you might shed some tears Mommy had nowhere to go so we were here and there I’m in and out of JDC but that’s not the real me It’s just what the system portrays me to be But I’m smart. I just had a rocky start So stop and be something in life Don’t always be rebellious and put up fights Show them all wrong by doing something right. Girls you can have a child But coming from experience it hurts your mind and your pride. People that don’t know you will judge you, talk down on you and they don’t care to know what you go through. So I ask you to STOP and be something life Don’t always be rebellious and put up fights. Show them all wrong by doing something right.

70

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

71


Don’t Judge

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Kamarei

Don’t judge me because I had a child at 15 If only you knew how much joy he brings I try to keep my head held high by swallowing my pride But my tears are something I can’t seem to hide. When he cries and wakes up in the middle of the night I try to tend to his need but he always puts up a fight. I don’t regret having my son not one bit. So mind your own business and stop being a hypocrite.

72

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Money Antwon

Poetry Behind the Walls

73

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Hennepin Juvenile

Money is power, money is the root of all evil, money is the reason people kill, money is the reason some live, money is the reason why people hate when people should motivate, money is the reason people die, money is the reason people try, money is the reason people lie, money is the reason why people go to war, money is the reason why a little kid steals out the store, money is the reason people lust, money is the reason people trust, so I make money and I don’t let money make me.


Locked Up

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Geno

I feel trapped I feel locked up Disappointed in myself I feel my dad expects more of me My little brothers look up to me My fake friends keep duckin’ me My real friends don’t mess with me they say I’m too hot, I tell ’em I’m not, but they not really hearin’ me. They only see the craziness. I wish they’d see the fear in me. And even though there’s no tears in me I jus wish that they’d be here with me.

74

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Untitled Breauna

Poetry Behind the Walls

75

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Hennepin Juvenile

These past couple of years have been rough But I know some people who can say that they’ve gone through much more stuff. The world is not perfect including my mom, but living in her house has made me strong. No daddy around, mother been there from the start. Only seeing things from a woman’s heart Has left me bitter causing me to react on the smallest things. But I’m strong to the finish No weakness around I gotta look up or I’ll keep looking down.


No Ma t t e r Whe re I Am , I Am Alw ay s Goi ng T o Be P.R.! 76

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Jesus

Hillbrook Juvenile Detnetion Center, NY

They can take my clothes They can take my shoes They can take my music They can take my family They can take my car They can take my girl They can take my jewelry They can take my phone They can take my life But they can’t take my race I am Puerto Rican hear me loud I am proud! I am Puerto Rican!

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

77


Free Me

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Justice

Life is hard I wonder why Why did I have to lose my dad to suicide? I lost my dad, he’s dead and gone. Lost my grandma and cousin two months later. What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? I know I ain’t perfect, I’m far from that. Someday I just wanna give up and quit. After I lost three people I loved most, I gave up, started breaking the law. Last hope. The court system is on my ass Usually I’m two steps ahead of ‘em. Just got caught up. I’m now two steps back I’m on and off, run, runnin’ from the law tryin’ my hardest but every time, I fall. Caught up now. Damn caught up again. Just did 8 months. Now counting down 12 months, the system always wins… Doin’ a year. I can’t believe this mess. Might be pregnant, don’t want my baby to be taken away. I’m real stressed.

78

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


I’ve lost everything I have…I know they kill to see me in jail. It’s crazy to think I am only seventeen and goin to the big girl jail. I ain’t gonna get out till I’m nearly nineteen.

I lost 3 people I loved and I lost my family, my freedom, and a good man.

I don’t like being locked up, I get stressed. This place is not me. Imma make a big change. No more mistakes. I learned my lesson. Please set me free. All the wrong I’ve done I wanna apologize. You live and you learn. I made bad decisions. Your trust, can I re-earn? Drug dealer, stealin’, livin’ the fast life on the streets

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

79

Detention Center, MN

I’m still young I can make a change. It seems like the system keeps lockin’ me up and not helping me. I’m no longer the one to blame. They say I need help then help me then. So I can stop getting locked up and repeatin’ the same patterns.

Hennepin Juvenile

I’ve been through a lot these past couple of months. I wish ya’ll could be in my shoes and understand.


Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

racks on racks money seems to run everything seems to run me. gonna leave it all behind just give me one more chance. I’ll leave the street behind me. Make a difference. Take a new stance. No more street life, no more runnin’ from my problems. I realize I need to change now, I just hit rock bottom. Imma promise you now I give you my word and my promise. If you set me free I’ll make a change, make a difference. I’ll always be honest. I’ll go to school, get my diploma and graduate. Prove my P.O. wrong and the haters that always hate. I’ll get a legal job and go to work everyday. No more illegal activities to get money I’ll wait till payday. No more runnin’ from my problems I’ll face em’ all. I’ll take what ever comes my way, I’ll stand tall. No more breakin’ the law and addin’ charges up. No more of the I.D.G.A.F. attitude cuz thats not whats up. Imma change. “Free Sneeky”, set me free! A whole 12 months is not for me…

80

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


I meant everything I wrote in here, every single word. I’ve been through a lot I know ya’ll will never understand but please give me another chance I’ll do good, I know I can. At least give me a shorter sentencing.

Free me soon I wanna go home. I’m tired of being locked up.

Hennepin Juvenile

I don’t know what’s gonna happen only time can tell for now Im sitting in a hell cell.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

81


Untitled Growing up with this Terrible life I don’t think that I’m gone make it. I don’t wanna be the reason why you think you going crazy. This world that we living in now got us struggling on the Daily. I sacrificed all. I had to change the way you raised me. I wanna be what I wanna be, ain’t nobody going to change me. So listen up when I’m talking please This real talk it ain’t no game play.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Justice

82

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


For You I Fell Justice

Hennepin Juvenile

For you I fell, your touch your smell For you I fell in love and in desire From your head to your toes, for you I fell From your lips to your fingertips I fell hard for you Mistake? It wasn’t. Regret? I don’t.

Detention Center, MN

Love? Always. For you I fell.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

83


Stronger You once said that I would never make it But I’m still trying to prove you wrong. I will never forget all the things you put me through Down on my knees, begging you please never to hurt me again. As I stand tall I would like to say, I am stronger (stronger) those things are in the past now I’m free No more begging, crying, no more bloody tears.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Justice

84

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Song Justice

Hennepin Juvenile

Back when I was a little girl My mother would tuck me in and go out the door. I think about the years I spent wishing it could be the same.

Detention Center, MN

Oh! She makes me wanna go insane people saying it okay I just want them out my face So I can go my own way Stop Playing them childish games I wanna be free and do my thang. I still think about what you said to me about living up to my dreams.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

85


Hillbrook

Hillbrook Juvenile Detnetion Center, NY

Alec

Hillbrook thinking day to day, time to time of what? What’s going to happen to me? Good or bad? What? I think and think and try not to be stressed But when you look for help it’s right there ready for you They push and push until they can’t push you no more But by the time your ready to leave they’re like a new family So it’s hard to leave, but when its time, it’s time You thank and say goodbye. I miss the memories and the people But I’ll see you soon is what I say and I’ll keep my promise to you.

86

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

87


Let That Be the Reason

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

DeAnna

This ain’t what life supposed to be like, everything I do I can’t never seem to do right, my momma don’t even want me in her life – she wants my shortie, but for him I’ll fight. My son is my pride and joy. OH! How I felt when that doc told me I was having a lil boy. I gotta play with the hand I was dealt I can’t believe my mom would disown me – her heart should be filled with guilt. But you know what? I ain’t gone keep beggin’ for her to take me back, she was never a mother to me and that’s a well known fact. I live for my son and myself and when my mom needs me regardless imma still be there to help.

88

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


-Cause I can’t bring myself to do her wrong, just cause she ain’t, don’t mean I can’t be strong. This journey has been stressful and long but no matter what, I’ve always kept my head up and stayed strong! Hennepin Juvenile

And that’s ME! What you get is what you see.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

89


Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Real Recognize Real Shaquille

Real recognize real For heaven sake If you try to prove your real- you’re fake Anything you give I take I hate to argue even debate I believe in GOD So I got faith. Tryin’ to get rich And that dream I chase. I dislike people who live off race. Call me a nigger Might as well spit in my face And if you do that I am gone. Catch another case.

90

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


You Don't Have to Run Shaquille

You don’t have to run.

Hennepin Juvenile

You don’t have to run You can just have fun You don’t need to fight or have guns You don’t have to be scared, just hold yo face If they tryna give you a run Stay in one place

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

91


I Been I been in JDC for 2 months I been away for too long I am spending my whole birthday and summer man that’s so wrong. I miss all my freedom and friends.

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Jaquan

92

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center, MN

DeVante Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

93


Time in Here

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Dion

Everyday life in here you can’t do whatever you want You gotta ask the staff here to do things but at home you can do whatever you want In here I see gang related things It’s not different from the streets it seems In here the colors is gray and green In here I hear people talking smack Sometimes it makes me mad and sometimes it makes me wanna jap. I hear foul language I hear kids bein’ angry and that makes me stay the same me. I don’t like to think about the time here Rather be home putting in time there.

94

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Lonely Melkin

Hennepin Juvenile

I’m lonely because I’m in the JDC I’m lonely because I did wrong choices when I was out I’m lonely because I just came back from placement I’m lonely because I have no family round here I’m lonely because I can’t have my girl

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

95


Gotta think smarter

Brookwood Secure Center, NY

Devante Collins AKA D.C.

Gotta think smarter things tryna change niggas steppin up the game so I gotta grind harder until you see me driving in the lane with a charger im just tryna escape from the pain and the horror ima keep it real fam I aint ready to die and I love all my niggas I trust all my niggas so for the team ill pull the plug on you niggas I be stacking away cash in the safe trying hard not to walk in the path of a snake cause alot of yall fake to me so Im in back patiently counting more bread than a bakery stressing but I try not to let you faze me a young nigga getting money yea that’s something that they hate to see But regardless my team goes the hardest and I dont got time to be in the street starving fighting in the jungle there’s lions in here real talk, niggas dieing in here

96

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


we squeeze iron in here hardbody youngins grinding in here, choose a side aint no crying in here, you gotta man up

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

97

Brookwood Secure Center, NY

cause feds will throw you in the slammer for that raw fire I done been behind the bricks and the barbwire these niggas say they been thru it, but they’re all liars head shot, leave your skull rolling like a car tire


Ventura Youth Correctional Facility, Camarillo, California

PHOTO FEATURE: I was 13 years old with my boyfriend. We were both extremely high. We were burglarizing a house in the high desert. The owners came in... and the crime escalated. I’ve been in this cell since I was 14, sharing it with another woman ever since. I think it’s seven by ten. I’ve been eligible for parole, but on four different occasions the families of the victims were present to speak against my release. If it was my family, I would do the same, but I am a different person at 20 than the drugged child I was at 13. Now I’m the head of a women’s firefighting unit that works with locals and assists in brush clearing, mud slides, and forest fires. I’m due for release in four years and three months. I age out of the system. They have to let me go when I turn 25. —C.H., age 20

© Richard Ross, www.juvenile-in-justice.com

98

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

99


INTER with Malo Interviewer: Tessa Mortenson August 2nd, 2012 Hennepin County Jail Minneapolis, MN

100

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


V IEW T: How old are you are and where did you grow up? M: 19. North Minneapolis.

T: Where did you go to school? M: Augsburg Fairview Academy T: What was your favorite thing to do after school? M: Hang out with friends and smoke loud. T: Describe someone close to you. M: DaShonte, my lil brother, not my real brother though. He’s 18, finna be 19 on the 6th. He got dreads, light skinned, kinda looks like me. He’s laid back, smooth. T: What do you miss most about him? M: Making me laugh. T: What do you miss the most about home? M: Eating real homemade food.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

101

Hennepin County Jail, MN

T: What was home like? M: Rough. Just cuz… I mean I had a good mom and all but just my family was into gang activity. Bein around that influenced me.


T: What was your favorite dish? M: Greens, fried chicken, baked macaroni and cheese. T: What do you eat in here [inside the Jail]? M: Mainly processed food. All of it’s processed.

Hennepin County Jail, MN

T: What is the worst thing about being in here [the Jail]? M: Bein’ locked down. Not being able to move around when you wanna move around. T: What do you think about the most while you are in here [the Jail]? M: I think about girls. Imma ladies man. Dressing nice, I like to dress nice. I’m into fashion. I think about my family too. Most of the time I try to keep it off my mind. If you keep it off your mind, you won’t stress as much. T: What’s the best advice someone ever gave you? M: While I was up in here, someone told me to stay strong, keep my head up, better my mind and make my mind stronger. T: Would you die for a cause? M: I’d die for my homies and my family. T: What are your friends like? M: Cool guys. I had a lot of female friends too. They liked to be fresh, liked to have fun. Some of em graduated went to college…some of em didn’t.

102

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


T: What were you looking forward to before you got locked up? M: Goin’ to college. I had a scholarship. I was going to study journalism and civil engineering. T: Why Journalism? M: I like to write. Non-fiction. Fiction. I had good English teachers in North and Wayzata. T: What are your friends like in here [the jail]? M: Ain’t got no friends in here. I just associate with people.

T: If you could say one thing to anyone in the world, who would it be and what would you say? M: I wish I could tell my little cousin I loved him before he died at 13. He got shot riding his bike in North Minneapolis. His name was Rayjon. T: Do you have anything else you’d like to say? M: I want to thank my mom for birthing me, for giving me life. For being there for me whenever I needed her. She is a good mom for supporting me in my ups and downs.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

103

Hennepin County Jail, MN

T: When do you transfer to another facility? M: I leave in a couple weeks to St. Cloud. It’s better than here. You can get a T.V., better food and a lil’ more freedom like bein’ out more.


MY

Story Hennepin County Jail, MN

Malo

M

y name is Malo. but people just simply call me Malo. I’m gonna tell you a lil’ about myself. First off while comin’ out of my mother’s womb, doctors tore my nerves in my left arm, so now today I have no use of it. But really it doesn’t have any affect on me in any way. Also I lost my father at the toddler age of 3, due to gang violence. He was only 21 years old, back in March of 1995. It had a big effect on me growing up because I grew up not knowing him and I also had no father figure. As I grew older, at about 12 yrs old, I loved playing basketball. It didn’t last long because during my freshman year in high school the streets started to suck me in. I thought, at first it was fun and games but now I realized it was a bad mistake altogether.

104

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012



Escaping Darkness

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Chaz

S

ome of us look at life as unfair. Some of us never had to struggle, feel the pain, or been there. But if you are given everything your whole life and got to that point - how would you be prepared? For some of us the struggle gives the person the will to overcome, to deal with whatever comes our way - good or sour. I think that’s what gives us the power to escape the dark. To change one’s self to see the light.

106

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Rommie Eyes Santajia

Hennepin Juvenile

T

ha day u chose to leave me it rained constantly outside. I swore the rain to be the tears in Rommie’s eyes. I ran outside to feel tha rain and I stay’d outside awhile. When the train was gone, along came the sun and I took this to be Rommie’s smile.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

107


U ntitled

Hennepin County Jail, MN

Mookie

W

hile I was in the County Jail the things I saw was people get so angry over their cases and start fights and I also seen people cry over the time that they got. The County Jail also made me feel lonely, depressed, sometimes angry, and stressed. I feel lonely because I don’t really have any body on my side or don’t talk to nobody on the outs. I be feeling depressed because I have to worry about my case and wonder what’s goin’ to happen to me. I also hear about other cases that’s similar to mines and different things are happening to different people so it makes me think. I also feel angry because it makes me feel like nobody cares on the outs like family wise and friends and it makes me think bout how much I done for the people who not here for me now and it’s nothing you can do about it cause your locked up and they’re in the world havin’ fun.

108

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


The things I hear is a lot of people lyin’, fakin’ it to make it. I also hear people talk about war stories and also a lot of bad things they do on the outs. Things like shooting at people and robbing people but me bein’ me I don’t like to hear things like that cause I have a case to worry about and trying to stay positive.

Jail is basically another world so u have no other choice but to adapt to the jail life and get use to it. Jail will make you eat things u never thought you would eat and it will teach a lot how to survive.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

109

Hennepin County Jail, MN

But the thing I go through in here is some weeks I don’t have money for commissary so I don’t get to get a decent kind of tooth paste, deodorant, and a decent soap. I also have to go through a lot with my pd (public defender). He never answer my calls or come visit me until it’s my court date and it makes me feel like he’s not on my side. I also have to go through the co’s tellin u when to be quiet, when to make your bed and a lot of other things. U don’t get to eat what u like and a lot of other stuff.


110

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


The Best Advice Mookie

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

111

Hennepin County Jail, MN

W

hats the best advice you’ve ever received? The best advice I ever got was to keep my head up & dont think about the outs as much because you would get to missing it & it’s gone get you to stressing & depressed.


Something Worth More than Gold

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

Angel

I

n this life I did things worth the fight. Being who I am it seemed alright, but it took this one girl to show me the light, and that’s you. You opened my eyes to something so true, something worth living for. So no more sins, no more friends just us three till the end. I just love how that sounds. It puts weight on my heart like pounds. Now I have something worth more than gold and that’s family because it will never get old, it will never break nor is it fake, but I hate myself because I made you hate. Now I know how true to this you are, sometimes I look out my window and wish we were looking at the same star. I can finally say that I’m lucky. To have a girl like you that never judged me and thank you for that, you keep me alive like an inhaler for my asthma attack. I want to settle down with you till daddy gets old. Because I finally found something worth more than gold. I love you Ashley and I’m sorry! Just give me one more chance??

112

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Stress on the Inside Angel

I’m the type of person who does not speak when worried or stressing about something and someone is always trying to make me talk about my problems. I want everyone to understand my problems have nothing to do with them and that I can deal with them on my own. I have been dealing with my own problems my whole life and I managed to get over them. Alls I need is some alone time. I’m not used to talking to people about my problems, that’s something I don’t want to get used to either. People need to respect the fact that I don’t want to talk about my issues, respect that I want to deal with them on my own because that’s what I’m used to doing.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

113

MacCormick Secure Center, NY

F

or the last past week I’ve been very stressed out about a lot of things. Every time I’m quiet and don’t want to talk to anyone it seems like there’s always that one person who wants to push me to another level, in a negative way.


Hennepin County Jail, MN

See, Hear, Feel, Advice Steven SEE:

I see lots of African American males who come in and out of the County Jail. In my first month here going to court I have seen about 4 to 5 fights. There’s arguments everyday about the pettiest things such as card games, who sit where for lunch and dinner, gangs, you name it. I also see guys I knew from the outs. The food is so nasty that I live off commissary.

114

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


HEAR:

I hear multiple arguments, insults, laughter, singing, but not more than what I hear at night. I can actually hear and see my little brother’s face. He just died in front of me due to a gunshot to the head which was just a little over a month ago and being in here makes the feeling even worse not being able to be with my family during our time of hurt.

FEEL:

ADVICE:

Cherish life because no one knows when it’s their time. My little brother’s life was taken at the age of 16 by a bullet that was not meant for him. And my biggest piece of advice: stay out of Jail. It’s not meant for teens like us. There’s a better way if you ask me.

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

115

Hennepin County Jail, MN

I feel like I let a lot of people down especially my brother. Both of them. Not being there for them. My mom and family tells me not to blame myself but I feel different. I feel that there was just so much I could have done to prevent it. And now I’m in Jail maybe going to be longer and not going to be able to be wit my other little brother and sisters and mom when they need me most. It really hurts me. I feel alone without him and my family with me. I feel as if these guys don’t care about nothing but how tough they are or what they have to prove to the next inmate.


Hennepin County Jail, MN

116

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Hennepin County Jail, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

117


Hennepin County Jail, MN

118

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Hennepin County Jail, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

119


(Live Life!) Steven

Hennepin County Jail, MN

T

he best advice I’ve ever received was live life to the fullest because you never know when your time is up, or your life is taken. You have no say so. My brother died at the age of 16. that’s very young. He did nothing to deserve to die so to me live your life, do something with it, be positive, don’t waste it cus it can be over in a blink of an eye.

120

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

121


Lil' Jay is Back

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Xavier

I

’m a young man that been on probation since I was 16 for robbery and now I’m 20 and I’m going away for a year and three on parole and 41 months over my head.

I’m an adult now and I’m still in the grimes of the inJustice System. And I want to change this for my people of younger age so they don’t go through what I went through and I’m willing to help. I’ve been through it. Help is here. I’m willing to Stand for your Justice.

122

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Cameras Lorenzo

There are more blacks being convicted than whites and more whites are picked up but they only really convicted the blacks. We need to end racism.

Hennepin Juvenile

T

hey have cameras just around one neighborhood like that’s the only place where things happen but it isn’t.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

123


124

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Racism Shaquille

Hennepin Juvenile

M

an I wanna talk about racism. I wanna talk about racism because racism was way back with our ancestors and it is still happenin’ today in 2012. I don’t get how people use so much energy to call somebody a nigger or for a black person to call a white person a honky. I Just hate seein’ it and I’m tired of living in racism. It’s like these people don’t care - they pick Police, Judge, Lawyer, Prosecutor jobs just to lock black people up and it ain’t fair.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

125


Bogus

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Rajil

T

his aid and abetting thing I don’t think is fair. Why? For example: Tom shot Jerry on block A. Tom calls one of his friends to come give him a ride. Tom’s friend says yes. Tom now gets away from the scene. Tom then gets caught with his friend that just gave him a ride. Now the law charges Tom for maybe murder or shooting and also charge his friend when his friend had only just given him a ride. They charge Tom’s friend with aid and abetting. They go say something like “he helped Tom get away as the driver and he didn’t call the police.” The prosecutor…this what they do: they go in front of the judge and they will say anything even lie on you for the judge not to release you. They don’t got to prove the prosecutor or give facts. The judges need to start asking for proof from the prosecutor for whatever they say in court.

126

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Life Jose

Hennepin Juvenile

M

y life is crazy. I thought smoking weed was amazing. I thought it was cool not to go to school. Running away from home to get high but all it got me was getting caught by the cops. I thought it was cool to hang with older dudes but all it got me was to steal some shoes.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

127


I Don’t Have It. Umm Where Can I Find It…

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Queen Michelle

W

ell what I’m going through is called a rough life. I don’t like it and I don’t want to live it but hey you gotta go through things in your life. I’m just stuck on wondering why am I the chosen one to be put through this kind of situation. I’ll say “hahahaha”, “lol” or, “lmao” in a serious situation but really when that situation is all sad I’ll remove myself from the group and go think about that serious situation and cry my eyes out. I just wish I had a shoulder to lean on but I don’t and at that I wish I had my mom and dad to lean on but once again I don’t. I don’t have it, I don’t have it, and I don’t have it. Ummmm where can I find it? Man I am so sick of being locked up or in the system when I’m in JDC or RJC or any locked up facility. I cry my ass off, just wishing to be on the outs. I just want someone that can listen

128

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


and also help but all I find is people that listen but never help with my situation. So I think “Why tell you anything? You’re not going to help”. I’m just wasting my breath. I wish I had custody over myself but once again I don’t.

No where now. I need help because I don’t have it…

Hennepin Juvenile

I don’t have it, I don’t have it, and I don’t have it. Ummmm where can I find it?

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

129


I Was a Boy Growing Up 130

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


Tomas

Poetry Behind the Walls

131

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Hennepin Juvenile

I

was a boy growing up over in the northside, Minneapolis where I seen a lot of people get hurt and lose their life. It was bad for people to be doing these things and seeing this made me want to do it. Seeing my brothers go out at night and come back with money and clothes made me want to get what they had. So I followed their footsteps and was getting away with a lot of things like hurting people and taking things I didn’t have to take. So all of that got me locked up and 48 months over my head so if I get back in trouble, they will send me to prison. So now I am taking the time to get back on track and get my life back together.


Untitled

B

lacks, Whites, it’s time to unite. Make everything right! So the world can be a better place. We’ll make the streets safe! And make the world spread with love. We share what we have in common. Let’s make this right tonight!

Hennepin Juvenile

Detention Center, MN

Riley

132

Poetry Behind the Walls

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012


I'm Free Ebony

Hennepin Juvenile

I

’m in this world it’s so cold. I’m in these streets. I’m alone. I need a place to call home. It’s like my spirits are gone. Trapped in this box with no key and I’m in need to be free. I see this darkness in me. I need some light to shine, please. One day I might just be free, one day when I feel released, I might just call myself free.

Detention Center, MN

Vol. 5, Issue 1, 2012

Poetry Behind the Walls

133


I’m in this world it’s so cold. I’m in these streets. I’m alone.

I need a place to call home.

It’s like my spirits are gone. Trapped in this box with no key and I’m in need to be free.

I see this darkness in me. I need some light to shine, please.

One day I might just be free, one day when I feel released, I might just call myself

free.

-Ebony Hennepin Juvenile Detention Center, MN

The mission of Poetry Behind the Walls (PBW) is to provide a space and place for youth voices who are incarcerated to critically express their experiences related to the criminal justice system, school system, and their community. Poetry Behind the Walls (PBW) is one of the only ongoing journals in the world that is dedicated to writings from youth that are incarcerated.


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.