amani
13 years old
“Once, when I was in the shelter, I was so scared I had a fit. My sister told me it was a nervous breakdown.” To start with the violence wasn’t so extreme. We could cope. But now they’ve started to kill children. When they started shelling our village we spent ten days in a row in our basement. I’ve heard a lot about torture and slaughter. Thank God I’ve not witnessed it myself. But I have seen what happens after torture. I saw it with my brother, Hamam. Seven months ago they broke into our uncle’s house and starting beating my brother with sticks. Then they took turns jumping on his back. He was beaten so badly that he still can’t walk. There are no hospitals to take him to – they refuse to treat people. So my uncle brought him to our house. What else could he do? I remember seeing my brother the first time after he was beaten. He was so pale and he couldn’t walk. I thought he was about to die. We put him in bed. He’s still there. We had to leave him there when we came here. When we fled we didn’t have time to pack properly, so I have none of my things with me. I don’t even have anything to remind me of my brother. One of my friends here witnessed her mother dying in front of her. Since then she’s lost her mind. Once, when I was in the shelter, I was so scared I had a fit. My sister told me it was a nervous breakdown. I don’t want to eat anymore. I’m not hungry. I’ve lost so much weight over the past few months. When I think about what happened, I can’t stop myself crying. I cry all the time. I don’t know how long it will take us to recover – perhaps a lifetime.
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