Page 20 - SASKATOONEXPRESS - October 21-27, 2013
A whale of a time reminds me of moles
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This bungalow is at 415 Teal Lane in Stonebridge.
Streetscape Developments
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Attractive design themes will prove popular treetscape Developments’ new a corner pantry. There is a garden door showhome in Stonebridge incor- leading to a future backyard deck. porates many features and attracThe home’s two bedrooms are lotive design themes that will cated on the main floor. The prove popular to prospecmaster bedroom features tive buyers. a shower and jetted-tub The 1,410-square-foot equipped ensuite and walkraised bungalow at 415 in closet. There is also a Teal Lane has a large four-piece bath on this level. foyer that leads to the great The unfinished basement room. It also offers access is insulated. Its large open to the basement and the plan and nine-foot ceilings garage. encourage future developPorcelain tiles in the ment. foyer and bathrooms add With an attached double to the feel of luxury in garage, this bungalow is Homes this showpiece. The same priced at $489,900. Like is true of the luxurious all new Streetscape homes, maple hardwood flooring it is Energy Star certified. throughout the great room and kitchen. It can be viewed Monday to Thursday The open kitchen has superior cabi- from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. and weekends and nets, an island, a built-in microwave and holidays from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.
PETER WILSON
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mong the less intelligent activities larger, Mrs. Arbuckle was constantly I participate in (apparently they are plagued with barnacles growing on her legion) is to jump into a tiny float- face, scalp, top of her hands and forearms. ing apparatus with an engine and motor These sandpapery lesions had her con23 miles out to sea to an aquatic nirvana cerned that she had skin cancer. teeming in coho, chinook, halibut, mer1. Mrs. Arbuckle’s barnacles were maids and other delicacies of the deep. actinic keratosis (AK), precancerous leOne day whilst I was jigging away, sud- sions found on sun-exposed areas of the denly a massive humpback whale broke skin. Left alone a few of these could turn the ocean surface and came into squamous cell cancer, so crashing down not far from my it is best to zap the AKs with a boat. liquid nitrogen gun. I call the A few seconds later he (I’m gun my AK47. It allows me to sure I spotted an Adam’s apple, make little ratatatat noises as I though it might have been my fire away at these lesions. own) did it again, only this 2. Skin tags are polyps time closer to the boat. Then he that pop up in older or obese did it again, closer yet. A fourth patients, often in the folds of breach was less than 20 yards the neck or armpit. They often away. It became chillingly have a little stalk and can flop obvious that this whale was about like Gumby on Valium. deliberately making his way They are not precancerous, Doctor towards me. but because they get caught on He then did the tail fluke jewelry and clothing they are thing, flipping it in the air and then diving best snipped off with scissors or the AK47. right under my freakin’ boat. It was at this 3. In most barnacle articles it is usetime that I felt about the size and imporful to review the symptoms of when tance of a large krill (although my bladder good moles go bad. Tens of thousands of felt the size of Saskatoon). North Americans will develop malignant I only hoped I wouldn’t be mistaken for melanoma this year, and 15 per cent will krill or that this 35-ton behemoth wouldn’t die of it. I suggest that every now and then surface with my boat perched on its blow- you should have someone who loves you hole or testicles. With a mix of fear and unconditionally scour your back. See a fascination I then beheld this happy humpy doctor if one of the ABCDs of bad moles break the surface of the water on the other is noticed: side of my boat and this time perform a Asymmetry — for example, one side stunning full body breach (getting an eight looks like Jimmy Durante and the other from the French judgette) and then crash side like the Virgin Mother. back to the ocean, thankfully leaving me Borders are irregular. afloat upon it. Colour is abnormally dark or variable. One thing I noticed about blubber boy Diametre is more than 0.60 centimetres. was that he could surely do with a dermatologist, just as I apparently was in need of Remember, if a mole is itchy, bleeding, a urologist. He was covered in barnacles, a growing, darkening or at all suspicious, I’d fact that reminded me of Mrs. Arbuckle. be glad to take a look at it. You will find Though the whale was significantly me fishing from a supertanker.
dr. dave hepburn
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2035 Idylwyld Drive North, Saskatoon, SK /FFUNHYUNDAI
HyundaiCanada.com
Call (306) 659-6000 or visit SaskatoonHyundai.com
The Hyundai names, logos, product names, feature names, images and slogans are trademarks owned by Hyundai Auto Canada Corp. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. †Finance offers available O.A.C. from Hyundai Financial Services based on a new 2013 Accent 5 Door L 6-Speed Manual/Elantra L 6-Speed Manual/Santa Fe Sport 2.4L FWD Auto/Elantra GT SE 6-Speed Auto with an annual finance rate of 0%/0%/0.99%/0% for 96/96/96/24 months. Bi-weekly payments are $73/$82/$139/$453. No down payment required. Cost of Borrowing is $0/$0/$1,126/$0. Finance offers include Delivery and Destination of $1,550/$1,550/$1,760/$1,550. Registration, insurance, PPSA, fees, levies, charges, license fees and all applicable taxes are excluded. Delivery and Destination charge includes freight, P.D.E., dealer admin fees and a full tank of gas. Financing example: 2013 Elantra L 6-Speed Manual for $16,999 (includes $500 in price adjustments) at 0% per annum equals $82 bi-weekly for 96 months for a total obligation of $16,999. Cash price is $16,999. Cost of Borrowing is $0. Example price includes Delivery and Destination of $1,550. Registration, insurance, PPSA, fees, levies, charges, license fees and all applicable taxes are excluded. Delivery and Destination charge includes freight, P.D.E., dealer admin fees and a full tank of gas. ▼Fuel consumption for 2013 Accent 5 Door L 6-Speed Manual (HWY 5.3L/100KM; City 7.1L/100KM)/Elantra L 6-Speed Manual (HWY 5.2L/100KM; City 7.1L/100KM)/Santa Fe Sport 2.4L FWD Auto (HWY 6.7L/100KM, City 10.1L/100KM)/Elantra GT SE 6-Speed Auto (HWY 5.3L/100KM; City 7.6L/100KM) are based on Energuide. Actual fuel efficiency may vary based on driving conditions and the addition of certain vehicle accessories. Fuel economy figures are used for comparison purposes only. ♦Price of models shown: 2013 Accent 5 Door GLS 6-Speed Manual/Elantra Limited/Santa Fe Sport 2.0T Limited AWD/Elantra GT SE Tech 6-Speed Auto are $19,249/$24,849/$40,259/$27,899. Prices include Delivery and Destination charges of $1,550/$1,550/$1,760/$1,550. Registration, insurance, PPSA, fees, levies, charges, license fees and all applicable taxes are excluded. Delivery and Destination charge includes freight, P.D.E., dealer admin fees and a full tank of gas. ΩPrice adjustments are calculated against the vehicle’s starting price. Price adjustments of up to $200/$500/$500/$2,350 available on 2013 Accent 5 Door L 6-Speed Manual/Elantra L 6-Speed Manual/Santa Fe Sport 2.4L FWD Auto/Elantra GT SE 6-Speed Auto. Price adjustments applied before taxes. Offer cannot be combined or used in conjunction with any other available offers. Offer is non-transferable and cannot be assigned. No TM
vehicle trade-in required. †Ω♦Offers available for a limited time, and subject to change or cancellation without notice. See dealer for complete details. Dealer may sell for less. Inventory is limited, dealer order may be required. ††Hyundai’s Comprehensive Limited Warranty coverage covers most vehicle components against defects in workmanship under normal use and maintenance conditions.