Being Audrey

VO L 3 | I S SUE 19 SEPT 20 – OCT

4 | 2 01 4

Being

Audrey

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- 6p m a 9 . i r Mon.-F :30am - 6pm SAT. 9 11am - 5pm SUN.

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

NEW LOCATION OPEN SUNDAYS!

530 STATE ST.

(Between Cota & Haley)

FREE PARKING!

Enter lot #11 from E. Haley St. or Anacapa St.

X A T S E L A S E H T Y A WE P m these manufacturers: on ALL fro

ACCESSORY POWER ACME MADE ANTON / BAUER AUDIO-TECHNICA AVENGER AZDEN BENRO BILLINGHAM BLACK RAPID BRONCOLOR C&A MARKETING CALRAD CANON (EXCLUDES CANON CINEMA PRODUCTS)

CONTOUR COOL-LUX CREATIVE LIGHT CRUMPLER D|FOCUS DAVIS & SANFORD DELKIN

DOMKE DYNALITE ELINCHROM EPSON EYE-FI FOBA FUJI INSTAX FUJI X-SERIES GARY FONG GIOTTOS GITZO GOSSEN G-TECH HAHNEMUHLE HASSELBLAD HELIOPAN HENSEL HOODMAN HOYA ILFORD INKJET INDURO

ITOYA JANGUS MUSIC JTL KATA KENKO KOBOLD KUPO LA CIE LASTOLITE LEGION PAPER LEICA LENSBABY LEXAR LOWELL LOWEPRO LUMIQUEST MAMIYA MANFROTTO MEFOTO MILANO ALBUMS MINOX

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3000

$

50

MONSTER DIGITAL NIKON (EXCLUDES MVP PRODUCT)

NEIL ENTERPRISES NORMAN NOVOFLEX OLYMPUS OP/TECH METZ PACIFIC IMAGE PANASONIC (EXCLUDES PRO VIDEO)

PEAK DESIGN PELICAN PENTAX PHASE ONE PHOTOFLEX PHOTOGENIC PHOTTIX PINA ZANGARO PIONEER ALBUMS PLUSTEK

POCKET WIZARD SPIDER HOLSTER STO-FEN PORTABRACE STRAP BUDDY PROFOTO (EXCLUDES SUNBOUNCE PRO7 & PRO8) SUN SNIPER QUANTUM SWAROVSKI R.T.S. TAMRAC RICOH TAMRON RODE MIC TENBA ROTATRIM THINK TANK SAMSON TIFFEN FILTERS SCHNEIDER TOKINA (EXCLUDES CINE LENSES) LENSES TOYOVIEW SEKONIC VU POINT SETWEAR SOLUTIONS SHURE WESTCOTT SIGMA XRITE SKB CASES ZEISS (EXCLUDES CP2 LENSES) SLIK ZOOM SMITH VICTOR SONY

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18

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MAIL ORDERS:

(Between Cota & Haley)

11am - 5pm SUNDAY’S

T. CO TA S

LEY

Samy’s

HA

W. CA RR ILL O

STA TE S T. CHA PAL A ST .

DE L A VI NA ST. 101 FWY .

ST.

(800) 321-4SAM (800) 321-4726 NEW LOCATION

530 STATE ST.

99

NO TAX!

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TRADE-INS WELCOME! WE BUY USED CAMERAS!

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20.1 MEGAPIXEL

150

with 18-55mm STM

with 18-55mm

FREE 16GB SD CARD & CASE

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if paid in full within

6 or 12 Months*

6 Months* on purchases of $199 or more. 12 Months* on purchases of $499 or more with your Samy’s Camera credit card made between Sept. 18, 2014 to Sept 24, 2014. Interest will be charged to your account from the purchase date if the promotional purchase is not paid in full within 6 or 12 Months or if you make a late payment. Minimum Monthly Payments Required.

PRICES GOOD UNTIL SEPT. 24, 2014 EXCEPT WHERE INDICATED. Not responsible for

typographical errors. Quantities limited to stock on hand. First come, first served. No rainchecks and no holds. Prices subject to change without notice. See store for details. Special offers available on in stock items only. Colors vary by location.

Samy’s pays Sales Tax on select items. Mail Order, samys.com and all Used, Demo or Refurbished purchases are excluded from the “No Sales Tax” Promotion. **Not valid on Nikon MVP

*Valid on any purchase of $199 or more for the 6-month offer and on any purchase of $499 or more for the 12-month offer made on your Samy’s account. On promo purchase balance, monthly payments required, but no finance charges will be assessed if (1) promo purchase balance paid in full in 6 or 12 months, and (2) all minimum monthly payments on account paid when due. Otherwise, promo may be terminated and treated as a non-promo balance. Finance Charges accrued at the Purchase APR will be assessed from the purchase date. Regular rates apply to non-promo balances, including optional charges. Promo purchases on existing accounts may not receive full benefit of promo terms, including reduced APR if applicable, if account is subject to Penalty APR. Payments over the minimum will be applied as required by applicable law. As of 1/1/10, APR: 28.99% & on all accounts in default, Penalty APR 29.99%. Minimum finance charge $2.00. Subject to approval by GE Money Bank.

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530 STATE ST.

3

(Between Cota & Haley)

FREE PARKING!

Enter lot #11 from E. Haley St. or Anacapa St.

with 18-55mm STM

38th Anniversary

BODY

SAVE $150

SAVE $200

599

$

$

3199

SALE! NO TAXSeptember 18th-24th

NO TAX!

NO TAX!

Full frame, high-res image capture Small in size, enormous performance

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• ISO 100-12800 for stills & ISO 100-6400 for videos • Touch Screen Wide 3” Clear View LCD monitor II $749 - $150 instant rebate • 9-point AF system

• Extended ISO range of 100-25600 • Advanced professional-level high definition video capabilities • EOS HD Video with manual exposure control and multiple frame rates

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22.3

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with 16-50mm

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• Ultra-fast AF with BIONZ X processing engine • Up to ISO 16000 sensitivity • 180° tilting LCD screen • Full HD 1080/60i/24p video $498 - $50 instant rebate • Up to 4 FPS shooting

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95

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MAIL ORDERS:

TRADE-INS WELCOME! WE BUY USED CAMERAS!

11am - 5pm SUNDAY’S

ST.

T.

LEY

Samy’s

HA

STA TE S T. CHA PAL A ST .

DE L A VI NA ST. 101 FWY .

CO TA S

W. CA RR ILL O

SANTA BARBARA SATURDAY 9:30am-6pm RENTALS 9:30am - 3pm (805)963-7269 SUNDAY NOW OPEN

(800) 321-4SAM (800) 321-4726 NEW LOCATION

- FRIDAY NEW LOCATION NOW OPEN! MONDAY 9am-6pm

(Between Cota & Haley)

SAVE

$

ALL NIKON PRODUCTS INCLUDE NIKON INC. USA LIMITED WARRANTY. AUTHORIZED NIKON DEALER, NIKON USA INC.

samys.com

530 STATE ST.

.

ANTY REGISTRATION CARD

USA 1 YEAR LIMITED WARR

S9700

PLUS TAX

SAVE 230

HANDISE INCLUDES CANON

ALL CANON ADVERTISED MERC

COOLPIX

329695

$

HD VIDEO RECORDING AND LIVE VIEW SHOOTING

NO TAX!

FREE 64GB SD CARD, CASE & BATTERY

with 18-55mm DX & 55-200mm DX & Nikon Case

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546

150

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FREE 32GB SD CARD & 2-TIFFEN FILTERS

$

SAVE

18-55mm IS II Kit

Switch & Save offers customers up to $1000 towards the future purchase of Nikon gear. Buy a D810 plus $1750 or more in Nikon Lenses and Flashes and receive $200, $400 or even up to $1000 on future Nikon purchases. Please see store for details.

NO TAX!

HD MOVIES IN AVCHD

448

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Full Frame Alpha camera

• World’s lightest interchangeable lens full-frame camera • Full Frame 24.3MP resolution with 14-bit RAW recording • Fast Hybrid AF with phase-detection for DSLR-like speed • Fast Intelligent AF optimized for full-frame sensor • Direct access interface for fast, natural shooting

1080P

FOR M

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1998 NO TAX!

AX HE SANAULFAECSTUTRER WE POASTYMTAJO S RM

5000

MEGAPIXEL

7 with 28-70mm

$3399 - $200 mail-in rebate

NO INTEREST

if paid in full within

6 or 12 Months*

6 Months* on purchases of $199 or more. 12 Months* on purchases of $499 or more with your Samy’s Camera credit card made between Sept. 18, 2014 to Sept 24, 2014. Interest will be charged to your account from the purchase date if the promotional purchase is not paid in full within 6 or 12 Months or if you make a late payment. Minimum Monthly Payments Required.

PRICES GOOD UNTIL SEPT. 24, 2014 EXCEPT WHERE INDICATED. Not responsible for

typographical errors. Quantities limited to stock on hand. First come, first served. No rainchecks and no holds. Prices subject to change without notice. See store for details. Special offers available on in stock items only. Colors vary by location.

Samy’s pays Sales Tax on select items. Mail Order, samys.com and all Used, Demo or Refurbished purchases are excluded from the “No Sales Tax” Promotion. **Not valid on Nikon MVP

*Valid on any purchase of $199 or more for the 6-month offer and on any purchase of $499 or more for the 12-month offer made on your Samy’s account. On promo purchase balance, monthly payments required, but no finance charges will be assessed if (1) promo purchase balance paid in full in 6 or 12 months, and (2) all minimum monthly payments on account paid when due. Otherwise, promo may be terminated and treated as a non-promo balance. Finance Charges accrued at the Purchase APR will be assessed from the purchase date. Regular rates apply to non-promo balances, including optional charges. Promo purchases on existing accounts may not receive full benefit of promo terms, including reduced APR if applicable, if account is subject to Penalty APR. Payments over the minimum will be applied as required by applicable law. As of 1/1/10, APR: 28.99% & on all accounts in default, Penalty APR 29.99%. Minimum finance charge $2.00. Subject to approval by GE Money Bank.

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Content

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Sharon’s Take – Sharon Byrne looks aging straight in the eyes and examines whether SB is really for the “newly wed and nearly dead”

The Weekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding lays down the law about ridiculous regulations and why folks don’t respect the government State Street Scribe – Jeff Wing gets a read on author Mitchell Kriegman’s new novel, Being Audrey Hepburn, and TV endeavors such as Saturday Night Live an About Town – Mark Léisuré is the man (and sports fan) about towns, M venturing to Milwaukee and San Francisco to enjoy America’s Pastime – but he hasn’t forgotten the SB club scene

P.9 P.10 P.12

The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen had a burning desire to finally attend Burning Man, so he packs his brew bags for the Nevada desert

15 Days a Week – Jeremy Harbin is at it again, disseminating information about a lemon fest, hair art, the Fall Pub Sing, literally a Big Day at the Zoo, and the intriguing Sweatfest – among other calendar items

Santa Barbara View – Sharon Byrne dishes on Taste of Milpas, while Cheri Rae digs into the literary archives to unearth a Lockwood de Forest, Jr. article from 1924

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Common Sense – John Kelley tries his hand at “Sustainable Living” as part of American Institute of Architects’ annual tour of SB structures

The Sports Report – In his debut as Sentinel sports chronicler, Tyler Greenwald covers all bases with water polo, volleyball, and tennis

In The Zone – Tommie Vaughn gets “figgy” with it at Figueroa Mountain Brewing Company, where GM Tony Grimes is among those mixing things up

Keepin’ It Reel – James Luksic holds on to The Drop, expands on aptly named The Expendables 3, and makes a citizen’s arrest for Let’s Be Cops

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Behind the Vine – Hana-Lee Sedgwick branches out to Lompoc’s Jalama Canon Ranch, where JCR Vineyard is the toast of the town

Food File – Christina Enoch doesn’t go to Piano Riviera Lounge to tickle the ivories; it’s all about the cuisine, cocktails, and Sex and the City vibe

Girl About Town – Julie Bifano returns with a loving tale from the SB Yacht Club’s annual Charity Regatta, which raised $1 million

You Have Your Hands Full – Does Mara Peters have the “drive” and determination to overcome roadblocks and reach the light at tunnel’s end?

Stylin’ and Profilin’ – Megan Waldrep is all dressed-up with places to go, including Joah Brown, where she talks fashion with the shop’s namesake and Sydney Brown Wagner

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by Sharon Byrne

take

Sharon’s education in engineering and psychology gives her a distinctive mix of skills for writing about and working on quality-of-life, public safety and public policy issues. Her hyper-local SB View column can be found every other week on page 12.

The Darker Side of Aging

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hen I was little, we often visited our UK relatives. Grandma Byrne lived in a Home for the Aged, as Brits call them. She had a nice flat, with a parakeet, and her own furniture. The Home took them around to the shops and on outings. She was well looked-after, especially given it was government-run.

But that’s Europe for you – they take care of you from cradle to grave over there.

By contrast, the American system of care for the elderly is a bit of a crapshoot. There are good facilities, to be sure, but there are some awful ones, too. Lest you think I am talking about a dreadful state-run facility for destitute elderly, egregious instances of elder abuse also occur in private facilities, the kind you pay a lot of money for.

It’s an old joke here that Santa Barbara is for the newly wed and nearly dead, but there’s some truth to the adage, as there are quite a few senior living communities here. The climate is gentle on older bones, and the scenery stunning. Senior living

options include independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing care.

These are self-explanatory, and the cost goes up as you move down the list. Assisted living facilities are not inexpensive, with some here running at $5,000 per month.

That doesn’t include extras: hospital beds, wheelchairs, diapers, medications, bedding, and additional care-givers.

Senior living facilities aren’t charities.

They’re businesses, so their job is to generate revenues and minimize expenses. They must market themselves, and the brochures for some of these places look terrific. Piano in the main room, activities, gourmet meals – they sound a bit like resorts.

But the reality can be quite different.

Some facilities draw clients by advertising that they have an RN on site, but the staff are hourly workers without nursing skills, and the RN is never there. So who’s dispensing medication?

Economic pressures drive leaner staffs, so seniors that require too much labor can be subjected to dreadful tactics. Someone

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who needs considerable assistance to use the restroom, for example, is sedated and diapered so as to reduce staff load.

The family is told the senior is now incontinent. And don’t disrupt the dining room by complaining loudly about the food or causing a scene. You will be isolated to meals in your room.

One facility here has a “death closet,” where the recently deceased are stored

Senior living facilities aren’t charities. They’re businesses, so their job is to generate revenues and minimize expenses. while awaiting removal. A family with a loved one at this facility came to visit.

The loved one had cognitive impairment issues, so the family was quite surprised to discover she was not in her room, but someone else was. When the family cornered staff on her whereabouts, they discovered to their horror that she had been moved into the “death closet.” The facility wanted to rent out her room at a higher rate, while still charging the family for it.

Some workers are understandably horrified by these kinds of abuses, but fear speaking out, as whistle-blowers aren’t likely to be welcomed at other

KEEPING SANTA BARBARA AND GOLETA FIT SINCE THE 70’S

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facilities. The same goes for family members who protest about problems with their loved one’s care. Bills for newly necessary equipment, new requirements for a caregiver at your expense, and even eviction can ensue as retribution.

Many of us take care with our health, strive to live a long life… and shudder at the thought of wasting away in a nursing home as our closing chapter. We also cringe with worry over subjecting our parents to potential abuse when they’re frail. Money is supposed to be the great equalizer in this country – we believe that by having financial resources, we can insulate ourselves from being at the mercy of others, particularly when we are at our most vulnerable. But even with expensive senior care, there are no guarantees.

The industry is loosely regulated, and California generously warns facilities of impending inspections.

What can you do? Review the Medicare ratings for facilities. A Place For Mom also has great info on audits and complaints.

Hire caregivers to keep eyes on your loved one when you can’t be there. Make surprise visits. Ensure your family puts these provisions in place for you.

As a country with a large population of aging baby boomers facing their golden years, you can bet this issue will generate increasing scrutiny, as it should. Our senior care options should be a lot better than this.

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The Weekly Capitalist

by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

Why People Don’t Respect Government

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Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Managing Editor • James Luksic Contributing Partner Opinion • sbview.com Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Leaving It All Behind • Matt Mazza | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | Elevator Pitch • Grant Lepper Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Tommie Vaughn Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • James Luksic Stylin’ & Profilin’ • Megan Waldrep | 15 Days • Jeremy Harbin State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing | Holistic Deliberation • Allison Antoinette Up Close • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every other Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: tim@santabarbarasentinel.com

I

ndiana has a law that bans the sale of cold beer by convenience, grocery, and pharmacy stores. The Feds regulate how miniature golf courses should be designed (e.g., “The new standard ‘permits a slope of 1:4 maximum for a four-inch rise where the accessible route is located on the playing surface of a hole.’”).

The Feds also say you can’t call pasta “macaroni” unless it is “tube-shaped and more than 0.11 inch but not more than 0.27 inch in diameter”. In Beaver Borough, Pennsylvania, out-of-town children are not allowed to go sledding – or a $25 fine will be leveled (against the kids?). Kern Country has an ordinance (9.12.010) that says “No vendor shall vend stuffed articles depicting the female breasts (sold as “boobie pillows”) within one thousand (1,000) feet of any county highway.”

These are really stupid laws.

Santa Ynez artist Gwen Cates was told by the county that she couldn’t paint pictures in her own barn. She and her husband, William, live on a four-acre rural property in Santa Ynez. They have a home, a barn, and a couple horses. Gwen, 74, is an artist and paints in her barn, a steel Butler Building with a concrete floor. It has electricity but not running water.

Due to a citizen’s complaint, the county investigated and told Gwen she was violating the law by painting in her barn.

She couldn’t paint there because it wasn’t permitted as an “artist studio” – which is a violation of county zoning codes. She was told by planning staff that the building was unsafe for her to paint in. She could use it to store her painting supplies and canvases, but not to paint in it. If she wished to use the building as a studio, she would need to obtain a permit and make the barn habitable.

Gwen now paints under a small tent canopy, but not in her barn. That move resolved the matter with the county, but they billed her $792.80 for staff time spent in enforcing her unsafe use of her barn.

Gwen said she sells about four paintings a year (www.gwencates.com).

This seems unreasonable to me. In fact, it’s either a stupid application of the law or a stupid law, take your pick. You may think that I am simplifying a more complex issue, but I’m not. The barn was built with proper permits, they have a perfectly nice house on the property – but because of county zoning ordinances, she can’t paint in it. That fits my definition of stupid.

I am sure the fine people who enforce these laws will say they have good reasons to stop people like Gwen from painting pictures in their barns. Why, if we allowed

her to do that, then you’re opening the door for people to flaunt the law and there would be chaos and our zoning laws would be ineffective. According to Gwen, they told her they were just trying to keep her safe from doing an activity in her barn that might be dangerous to her.

Does anyone seriously believe that the county needs to protect Gwen (or us) from painting pictures in her barn? Does anyone believe that painting pictures in one’s barn disrupts the good order of society? Is it really necessary for public safety to prohibit folks from doing innocuous things on their own property? Why the hell should I have to get a permit to paint pictures in my barn?

“Lawmakers want to protect us from ourselves by overregulating what we do every day” The county has it all backward. Instead of trying to regulate our behavior, why don’t lawmakers pass legislation that conforms to what we are already doing?

In other words, if folks paint pictures in their barns or their sheds or their garages or their homes, that is what the law should be. Instead, lawmakers want to protect us from ourselves by overregulating what we do every day.

There is a word for this: the Nanny State.

An unkind word would be Big Brother.

While you may think that I’m making a big deal out of a “harmless” zoning law, it’s the weight of all these laws that threatens our freedom. Every time some do-gooder politician comes up with another law to “correct” some perceived social wrong, it just gives government another reason to catch us doing something that didn’t used to be a crime.

It also keeps them employed. Last year, our state passed 800 new laws. I think we were doing just fine without them. You may disagree and think government is just fine, but I think it’s a slippery slope.

This is why people flaunt laws, especially the stupid ones. Laws such as these are why people disrespect and distrust government.

They instinctively see these laws as wrong and unfair. And they would be right. I think the county ought to be apologizing to Gwen, not penalizing her.

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STATE STREET SCRIBE

by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com

Audrey, Mitchell, and the Pygmalion Effect

EVENTS • BAR • LOUNGE

T

here is a moment in the classic film dangerously floundering sis, juvieBreakfast at Tiffany’s where the simple destined little brother, and general sight of a wet cat draws a racking, sense of approaching doom literally startled sob from the viewer (he both drive Lisbeth into her bedroom confessed and generalized). It can be closet; a longtime refuge fitted with unnerving, especially after the seventh or the requisite comforts of a cramped so viewing, when one would expect the Cat bomb shelter. It even includes a mini Effect to be somewhat diminished. Tiffany’s fridge.

In the cozy, darkened crush of her is the indelicate story of a young lady’s unwilling, but ultimately redemptive, hideaway, Lisbeth obsessively watches, and personal transformation, so it’s fitting that parses, Hepburn’s films. Audrey is more the lead role of conflicted will-o’-the-wisp guru than idol to Lisbeth, and yet more Holly Golightly went to the inimitable mentor than guru; an unerringly cool Audrey Hepburn, whose own wildly oracle of truth in owlish Oliver Goldsmith improbable life story trumped anything shades, whose utterances are usable koans, ever written for the screen. From starved and whose film canon embodies The Big wartime waif in Holland to beloved film, Answers. To everything. Funny Face, fashion and global mercy icon, the slight Roman Holiday, Charade, Audrey’s but incandescent Ms Hepburn managed films are feverishly absorbed by to shoehorn a lot of change, color, and Lisbeth, who has produced from them filigreed blueprints for living. She meaning into her foreshortened draws her truths from them time on Earth. as someone else might Author Mitchell Krieg“In New York City at that mine scripture. Lisbeth’s man’s new novel, Being Audrey Hepburn, whose time, a comedy writer had two Book of Revelation is, of course, Breakfast at protagonist Lisbeth is a places to work; you could work in Tiffany’s, in this setting 19-year-old daydream penultimate believer living in a kids’ programming, or you could the Audrey film. The benighted corner of work in late night comedy. You only other lights in New Jersey, lavishly the darkness of gives Audrey her due and know, Sesame Street or Lisbeth’s days are her is so infused with both the Saturday Night Live.” calming, encouraging, facts and spirit of Hepburn’s unflappable Nana unlikely life and career that the (cryptically referred to as ‘Nan’ book serves as both Audrey Hepburn in the novel) and her BFF, Jess, an primer and paean.

“There is almost a second story in the aspiring fashion designer.

When Jess shoots Lisbeth a wildly book, which is the true Audrey Hepburn story,” Kriegman says. “There’s so much insistent text from her peon job at Audrey in there, they should publish an the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manhattan one evening (“U HAVE 2 annotated version.”

Being Audrey Hepburn is a many-layered C THIS!”), Lisbeth wearily hops the tale that proselytizes and celebrates the train across the river to the Big Apple Hepburn magic while bringing it lovingly to see what’s up. Givenchy’s iconic to bear on a message that is not lost on the Little Black Dress is what’s up, the reader, as it wasn’t on Ms Hepburn herself: one Hepburn sports in the famous personal reinvention has its rewards, but is opening sequence of Breakfast, and not always a promenade through the park. a demure shred of designer genius Nor should it be. Kriegman’s emotionally whose Sacred Object status in the immersive parable, like the best books Show Business firmament makes it a consumed by a reading public hungry for veritable Hollywood Shroud of Turin. both entertainment and meaning (yes, While mischievously plumbing the they are an unreasonable lot, bless them), Met’s Costume Institute archives, encloses its truths and consequences in a fashion aspirant Jess has stumbled gaudy box of Cracker Jack. You will have to upon Givenchy’s One True Dress as eat your way down to the prize ring. This a pilgrim might a remnant from the is what gives the caramel-corn its added Lost Ark, and she knows just who to call. She unveils the find to Lisbeth, sugar. the authentic Audrey acolyte, with But you knew that. and emotionally Lisbeth’s classically screwed-up home unpredictable life is a seamless, ongoing downpour penetrating results. Question: does of aggregating misery. Her booze-and- the butterfly ever long for a return to breaks-addled mom (jarringly sympathetic, the chrysalis? ...continued p.17 thanks to the writer’s careful treatment),

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with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way.

A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Baseball Project a Big Hit The Milwaukee Brewers’ honorable mentions

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I

don’t know about you, but I’m still a baseball fan. I know all the reasons not to be – it’s boring, too much time between pitches, not a lot of action most of the time. (On the other hand, there haven’t been any video or pictures of baseball players bashing their girlfriends in hotel elevators or beating their preschool children with a stick.)

I love it. Partly it’s because for men of a certain age, baseball was how we communicated with our dads; it’s the sport more than any other in America that is passed down from father to son. But that’s just the cultural aspect. I actually like the sport. For true fans, there’s a lot to watch all the time: how a pitcher and catcher tandem try to set up the batter and how the batter seeks to outsmart them; where the players position themselves in the field, and how some do a little jump just as each pitch reaches the plate.

Still, my interest in the game had waned until several years ago when MLB.TV made it possible to watch your favorite teams online anytime. But it’s a bit of a schlep to Dodger Stadium or Anaheim, so I hadn’t taken in a game at a ballpark in a number of years. Then, through circumstance and fortune, I managed to see two live games on a recent trip, two days games: the Brewers vs. Pirates in Milwaukee, and the Giants against the Rockies in San Francisco, at perhaps the most beautiful baseball park that’s ever been built.

Baseball began coursing through my blood again, even though my own favorite team (who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) has long since faded from contention. Truth be told, I have a miniature window of a condensed game playing in the corner of the computer monitor as I write this. So maybe that’s why I was so looking forward to The Baseball Project’s (BBP) Santa Barbara concert on a Sunday night a couple of weeks ago. You see, all of the songs on their three albums are about baseball in one way or another. More on that later.

Sign language in San Francisco

Aside from thematic content, though, BBP are an under-the-radar super-group formed by R.E.M.’s Peter Buck and Mike Mills with musical friends Scott McCaughey (Young Fresh Fellows, Robyn Hitchcock and The Venus 3, The Minus 5), Steve Wynn (The Dream Syndicate) and Wynn’s wife, drummer Linda Pitmon – not too shabby a line-up, though Buck wasn’t participating on this tour.

You would think there would’ve been a lot of us clamoring to hear them. But no.

In fact, so few folks expressed any interest that the concert was downgraded from a Sings Like Hell show at the Lobero Theater to a club gig at Velvet Jones in which the band, friends, and critics might very well have outnumbered the paying audience. Which would normally result in no show at all, as most musicians would opt to stay home.

But BBP is different. They’re sure as heck not doing it for the money, and the main recognition they get comes from baseball people (they’ve done the National Anthem at a ballpark or two, for example).

No, they play for the fun of it. So after ...continued p.24

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by Zach Rosen

The Pyro Bar Burns

B

urning Man. The infamous art festival out in the middle of the Nevada desert. Many times I’ve heard people be described as “just a bunch of Burners.” This always comes from someone who has never gone there. “Life changing” is usually what I hear from those who have attended the event.

Burning Man has enticed me for a long time. What is out there in the desert?

Is it just a massive party or a cultural phenomenon? To find out, I joined my favorite art car, the Pyro Bar, and its supporting theme camp, the Enclave.

The Pyro Bar is an old logging truck that has been turned into a bar car that shoots flames and dangles aerialist dancers off of a massive crane. I have written on it here on two other occasions (Vol. 3, Issue 4, and Vol. 2, Issue 9).

We spent two weeks out in the Nevada desert, helping build a city for 70,000 people before burning it down. What I found out there in the desert was a blend of both myth and fact. Fortunately, I had the flaming beast, the Pyro Bar, to guide me along the way.

on fire. There are two main burns. Each year the Man and the Temple are built out of wood with intricate craftsmanship before being burnt to the ground.

The Man is burned on Saturday. The Temple on Sunday. And they are much different experiences. The burning of the Man is wild and barbaric. The Temple burn is solemn and internal. While the burning of the Man is symbolic of the festival, both burns represent an important part of the process of Burning Man.

The Law of the Land

There is some danger out there in the desert. This year, a woman had the tragic fate of being hit and killed by an art car. ...continued p.31

Pyro Bar getting ready for drinks

Weekly Happenings in Santa Barbara:

About the Burn

Burning Man is not like Coachella.

It is not like Electric Daisy Carnival or any of the other festivals you’ve heard about. Located at 4,000 feet in a gypsum (think plaster) dustbowl in the middle of Nowhere, Nevada, Burning Man is not a weekend getaway. It is a brutal drive and the festival brings even harsher conditions.

This year we witnessed lighting, hail, white-out dust storms, blaring sunlight, and both balmy and frigid nights. You are not allowed to dump water (you don’t want tens of thousands of people combining plaster and water all at once) and there is not a single trash can in the festival. Whatever you pack in, you pack out. Ice is available for purchase and solar showers can be used, but you better have a good evaporator to deal the with the gray water from them.

The main event is Monday-Sunday and finishes every year on Labor Day. The first Nevada-based Burning Man was in 1990, and since then it has grown into an international phenomenon with the 2014 festival attracting 70,000 people from around the globe. While Burning Man is the event, Black Rock City is the city in which it is held. Believe me, this is a city, complete with an airport and post office.

As if the title didn’t give it away enough, Burning Man has a large focus on fire. With no plant life for miles and insects being the biggest “animal” (no dogs are allowed in) around, there is a lot of room to light things

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

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15•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Fifteen Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly those that have yet to be published.

Saturday

Wednesday

Lemon Party

My Lovely Weekday Humps

September 20

September 24

It seems like just yesterday that Henry J. Lemon put together the first-ever California Lemon Festival. It’s hard to believe that Goleta’s favorite fest is now in its 23rd year. And it didn’t make it this far without good reason: attendees are treated to a non-stop slate of food, music, a pieeating contest, and, of course, citrus. It’s at Girsh Park (7050 Phelps Road) today from 10 am to 6 pm, and tomorrow from 10 am to 5 pm. The best part? It’s free.

It’s Wednesday, everyone’s favorite weekday – because of the nickname that makes us giggle.

How’s work going? Good? Then let’s celebrate with some music. Bad? Then let’s take your mind off things with some music. Clairy Browne & The Bangin’ Rackettes have set off on their Love Cliques tour, and they’re bringing their soulful sound to Blind Tiger (409 State Street) at 8 pm.

Head to nightout.com to pick up your $15 ticket.

Sunday

Thursday

Wax and Wine

Look Out

September 21

September 25

It’s Sunday, the day when you sit at home and try to enjoy your final moments of peace and relaxation before the workweek starts back up again. Let’s say you’ve got a nice glass of wine in your hand, and you’ve put on some good music. Well, why not do that same thing, but out in public with some friends? The best – and maybe only – place to do exactly that is Municipal Winery (22 Anacapa Street) this evening from 5 to 8. Their wine’s better than the bottle you picked up from Trader Joe’s, and their DJ has better taste in music. It’s the perfect way to try to forget you’ve got work in the morning.

Monday

You know the problem with the art history degree I got online? My ProfessorBots only covered artists up through the last half of the 20th century, so even though I printed out a diploma, I know virtually nothing about contemporary artists. But I don’t blame my probably fully accredited institution; I blame the artists. They just keep being born. I mean, come on, guys, we have enough art already. But for those who like to keep an eye out for up and coming artists, the Westmont Ridley-Tree Museum of Art (955 La Paz Road) has you covered. The new exhibition, ArtWatch 2014: Young Careers, SB to Greater L.A., will feature eight artists who you might want to know. The opening reception, from 4 to 6 pm today, is free to the public.

Friday

September 22 Hair Today

Take those luscious locks of yours down to Santa Barbara City College’s Magnolia Center (5160 Hollister Avenue) today for the Student Hair Art Display. Even if hair isn’t something you usually think of when you think of art, maybe you should give the students of SBCC’s Cosmetology and Esthetician Academy a chance to show you styles throughout the years. You’ll see cuts from the 1920s straight on through to the futuristic styles of tomorrow. It all starts at 11:30 am and ends at 2 pm. It’s free.

Tuesday September 23

Singin’ for the Fall

Who doesn’t like a good sea shanty? Even though I can’t hear your answer to that question since I wrote this about a week or so before you picked up this newspaper and read it just now, I assume you answered something like “Nobody doesn’t like a good sea shanty.” So take yourself on down to the Santa Barbara Revels’ Fall Pub Sing at Dargan’s Irish Pub and Restaurant (18 East Ortega Street), where you’ll raise a mug and your voice in song. Even though it’ll cost you $15 at the door, it does at least include a drink and a songbook. It all goes down from 6 to 8 pm.

1431 San Andres Street

September 26

Food, Wine, Photos

The Funk Zone – Santa Barbara’s arts district – is a great place to pass a Friday night. You’ve got some great food options like Seven Bar and Kitchen and great drink options like Figueroa Mountain – all within a walkable span of just a few blocks. And on one of those blocks, you’ll find the Santa Barbara Art Foundry (120 Santa Barbara Street). It’s a working foundry, of course, where the molten metal flows, but it’s also a gallery. On display tonight from 6 to 9, it’s the Cambodian Photography Project, which the gallery describes as “an exhibition of photographs taken by orphaned and disadvantaged children living at Sunrise Children’s Villages in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap.” The photos will be for sale, and proceeds will benefit Sunrise Children’s Villages. Expect also wine and music. This event is free.

Saturday September 27 Free by the Sea

Sure, I’d like to go hang out at the Biltmore on a Saturday night, but I’m just a regular guy.

I show up to the Sentinel’s Department of Calendaring at 8 am every morning and stay until about half past seven. That’s my life. I’m not one of these ‘Cito hot shots who sold a startup or owns a football team or founded a popular stuffed-animal company. But I’m going to just be crazy for once and get a taste of the good life tonight by attending the party at the Biltmore’s Ty Lounge (1260 Channel Drive) at 9 pm to midnight. The People’s Disc Jockey, DJ Darla Bea, will be playing the hit jams that make me want to try out my newest dance moves. This party is free.

Sunday September 28

BoHenry’s www.bohenry.com

Big Day at the Zoo

Bigger isn’t always better, but it is today at the Santa Barbara Zoo (500 Ninos Drive). That’s because it’s the Big Day at the Zoo, featuring life-size Tonka trucks on display. In keeping with the theme, the zoo’s larger animals – elephants, giraffes, and condors, among others – will take the spotlight. Expect keeper talks, raffles, prizes, and more. Zoo members and anyone driving a Toyota or Scion can get early admission at 9 am. For everyone else, the zoo’s open from 10 am to 5 pm.

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Monday September 29 Wine Time

September 30 Sweat it Out

KAN

You had so much fun at the Lemon Festival earlier this bi-week that you just can’t wait to get back to Girsh Park (7050 Phelps Road). Well, you’re in luck, because I’ve got just the event to get you back over there. It’s called Sweatfest, and it’s a workout that bills itself as a “workout party.”

Well, I say if you’ve got to work out, it might as well be a party. Head on over to sweatoutdoors. com to buy your ticket (it’s for charity), and then go get fit. After the exercise, stick around for beer and food.

ROC A N WAN I “ I OV

Wednesday

DEAD OR ALIVE”- B D E ON NT

J

October 1

Math and Science

It’s finally here, folks: Halloween month. So let’s all celebrate America’s favorite month in the traditional way by going to the JadeNow Gallery (14 Parker Way) and watching a guitar player. That guitar player? Scott Huckabay, who calls himself a “guitar alchemist.”

The title of this concert? Spinning Sacred Geometry Through Sound. If that sounds like the sort of thing you might be into, then you need to stop whatever it is you’re doing right now and head straight to www.scotthuckabay.eventbee.com to purchase your $10 ticket. The show starts at 5 pm.

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CAL LED

Friday

Architecture Around Town

If you’re interested in architecture and sustainability and self-guided tours, then today’s event is for you. It’s a tour of eight projects around town that will focus on “sustainability, re-use, environmental compatibility, and energy economy.” If you’d like to participate, head right over to www.aiasb.com, the website for Santa Barbara chapter of the American Institute of Architects, to buy your tickets. Then you’ll simply pick up your map and brochure at 229 East Victoria Street, and cruise around at your own pace from 10 am to 4 pm.

•“HELLO WONDER,

October 4

N

Saturday

WHA T ’ S YOU R N AME

You can’t spell “Carp” (as in Carpinteria, our neighbor to the south) without “Parc,” and that’s exactly what you should do with your car when you drive it to Carpinteria today for First Friday. Like downtown SB’s First Thursday, you can take advantage of deals in galleries and restaurants and retail stores throughout town. It’s from 5 to 8 pm today.

While you’re there, you’ll also want to check out the kickoff of the Avocado Festival right downtown, which promises food, music, arts, crafts, contests, and more. And guess what?

It’s free to attend.

DA D”- STEELY STAN NDER TU AN’

Carp Day

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M HN

October 3

FREE FALLIN’”- TOM PETTY •“A P M ’ I “ • LACE AYER

If it’s been a while since you’ve been to downtown SB, then tonight’s your night to go check out the scene. Why tonight? Because it’s First Thursday, that’s why. It’s the day when businesses and galleries open their doors and invite the public in for special viewings and sales and wine and music and whatever else they want to do. It takes place all over downtown from 5 to 8 pm, but at 5:30 pm, there’s a free Art Crawl led by the Santa Barbara Arts Collaborative that will meet on the back steps of city hall.

ING ”-

HINGS THAT PASS FOR KN THE T OW L E D GE I

First Thursday

TI VER

•“ SON OHN KJ JAC

October 2

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AS S OMETH

Thursday

THE WE

•“IT’S AS SIM ROCKET PLE T SP

“THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE EVERYTHING’S B E

D ROLL ALL NIGHT-” KISS

Tuesday

- TOAD

There’s always lots of fundraisers and get-togethers and openings and receptions and parties here in Santa Barbara. At almost all of those things, there’s wine. Wouldn’t it be nice to know a little something about wine the next time you get served a glass? Maybe you could even choose which one you want to pair with your food. But how could someone like you possibly ever learn so much about wine? Well, for starters, you could attend Les Marchands’ (131 Anacapa Street) Monday Night Flights. That’s where you get food with wine pairings and an expert educates you along the way. It’s tasty, it’s educational… it’s tastecational!

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Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

by Sharon Byrne

sbview.com

Eat Street: Taste of Milpas

O

n Saturday, October 4, Milpas area restaurants are determined to shine for patrons of the second annual Taste of Milpas. Twenty taste stops line the route, all hoping to win patrons over and win the title of “Best Taste.” If you spend any time on Milpas, you know the food culture here is diverse, tantalizing, yet also surprisingly affordable. As one Milpasareno puts it, “this is the authentic Santa Barbara dining experience for us locals.”

Isodoro from La Super Rica

Some of our culinary power-hitters include: • La Super Rica – 8th Best Taco in USA: Travel & Leisure Magazine • El Bajio – featured in Forbes, New York Times • The Habit – Best Burger in USA: Consumer Reports • Los Agaves, Jack’s Bistro, and Your Place Thai – winners of “Best Of ” in the Independent and News-Press • La Colmena – Winner, Foodie Award, Independent • Hot newcomer, The Shop Café – doing American fusion at its finest.

Flu

ts!

sho

Foo d, m usic and fun!

90 e

Sharon Byrne

Christian from Los Agaves

• A well-kept local secret – amazing Chinese at Shanghai, including stellar vegetarian options Drive by any of these places for lunch or

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itors

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Stop Fall alls f g cin redu

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Free pa

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Special Features

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Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com dinner, and you’ll likely find a line out the door. The word is out: the eating is great on Eat Street!

They’re also intensely competitive, so expect them to turn it up for the Taste!

New this year is a rockin’ wine and beer garden at Ortega Street and Milpas. Eastside brewers Pure Order and Telegraph will be pouring samples of their hand-crafted brews for you to try. Pure Order grows their hops right here on the

Pam and mom from Your Place Thai

Eastside!

You’ll also get to sample fine local wines from a place with one of the best wine selections in town: Tri-County ...continued p.38

Flu shots by Sansum Clinic Drop box for unused or expired medicines Hearing tests by Dr. Dodero Colon cancer screening kits Fall risk assessment by the FallSTOP program

James Burge from Pure Order Brewery cuts hops grown on the Eastside

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COMMON SENSE TODAY BY JOHN D. KELLEY

Cass Ensberg AIA, Tom Jacobs AIA Ensberg Jacobs Design, Inc.

A California native, John is an award-winning architect and a graduate of UCSB. He has been a contractor and an Adult Education Instructor, and he has worked both in government and corporate settings. He advocates for true prosperity based on a vital economy, a just society, and a healthy environment.

Can Our Buildings Be Like Trees?

Taylor residence, John D. Kelley, AIA Kevin Dumain, AIA, DesignArc

O

n Saturday, October 4, the local chapter of the American Institute of Architects will host its annual public tour of Santa Barbara buildings designed by AIA architects. This year’s theme is “Sustainable Living” and will include eight projects ranging from new and remodeled houses to multi-family residences and commercial/ institutional designs.

The United Nations defines sustainable growth as “development that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.” Today, our global civilization is not sustainable. The human population is more than 7 billion and growing rapidly. The U.S. alone has consumed more resources since 1945 than all of humanity consumed prior to that time. Our powerful technologies have global environmental impacts that threaten the future of humanity.

For us to live more sustainably, we must simultaneously improve three essential factors: the health of our environment, the justice in our societies, and the vitality of our economies. Improving the design and operation of our built environment is already helping to develop a more sustainable human civilization. Visionary American architects such as Sarah Susanka, Ed Mazria, and William McDonough are leading the global effort to make the building sector more sustainable.

The architectural community in Santa Barbara has been involved in sustainable architecture from the beginning. In 1994, McDonough was a keynote speaker at a three-day conference, “Designing for Sustainable Communities,” hosted by the local AIA chapter at SBCC. Susanka and Mazria have also spoken about their architectural ideas in Santa Barbara.

Susanka’s Not So Big House book series celebrates smaller homes, which value quality over quantity in residential design, thus improving the function of the homes while reducing their impact. She believes “that the more people put their money where their hearts are, the more others will realize the validity of building for comfort, and not for prestige.”

Mazria leads the “2030 Challenge”, which provides the global architecture and construction community with a series of greenhouse gas reduction targets for new

Tomeo residence Anthony Spann, AIA, Harrison Design Associates

and renovated buildings to achieve zero emissions by 2030. He points out “since the construction and operation of buildings is the largest consumer of energy and producer of greenhouse gas emissions, reducing building sector emissions will help to moderate climate change.”

McDonough advocates using natural systems as models and mentors for human design. He has described the ultimate goal of sustainable building design as: “A building should be like a tree – it should thrive on the sun’s energy while enhancing its surroundings.”

So what does sustainable architecture look like? Actually, it is not a distinctive visual style but a design approach that aspires to create buildings that are net Dennis Thompson AIA, Thompson Naylor Architects producers of energy, food, clean water, and air; that supports healthy human and biological communities; and that achieves a natural beauty in harmony with nature.

Sustainable architecture addresses numerous aspects of building design and construction. Energy use, water use, and environmental impact are the most important.

Here are a few examples of current techniques: Building energy performance can be enhanced with high-performance windows, an efficient thermal envelope, thermal mass and efficient equipment, lighting, and appliances. With passive solar heating, day-lighting, solar water heating, wind generators, and photovoltaic panels, buildings can produce more energy than they consume.

Water can be used more efficiently with low-flow fixtures and appliances, efficient irrigation, and drought-resistant native plants. Water can be collected and recycled using gray-water systems, rainwater cisterns, and natural wastewater treatment.

Pollution can be reduced and indoor air quality improved by avoiding CFCs, VOCs, and other toxic chemicals. The impacts of the built environment can be reduced by: using salvaged materials, producing and using materials with recycled content, and sustainably managing our renewable resources. The construction process can reduce its impacts by recycling materials and eliminating waste.

To see first-hand how sustainable design and construction techniques are being applied in Santa Barbara, you can visit eight local projects during “ArchitecTours 2014” on Saturday, October 4. To learn details about the tour and buy tickets, visit the AIA website: www.aiasb.com.

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The Sports Report

by Tyler Greenwald

Tyler was born in London and has been a Montecito resident since 2004 after moving here from Greenwich, Connecticut. He is 16 years old and a junior at SBHS. He is an avid tennis player and is passionate about journalism. Tyler attended Marymount School up until 8th grade, and is editor-in-chief of the SBHS newspaper.

Parrish’s Dozen Goals Make A Splash

However, when both the school and the community got ahold of the results and discovered that the Dons proceeded to make it all the way to the finals of the top division in the tournament after winning three consecutive matches, the idea no longer seemed so delusional.

The stifling heat didn’t pose a problem for seniors Mattea Kilstofte and Madison Hale as they both went 4-0 in the singles department to lead their team to the championship match for the first

the doubles combination of Lexy Gulden and Cade Sorenson swept all three of their matches as well.

Perhaps this was all just competitive preparation for Santa Barbara High as the school was set to play its rival, San Marcos, on Thursday for the first channel league match of the season. Either the preparation worked or none was needed in the first place, because the Dons breezed

by San Marcos, 13-5.

The Santa Barbara High girls tennis The Santa Barbara High water polo team went 2-2 at the Santa Barbara Invitational (photo courtesy Andrea Gross)

S

an Marcos, Dos Pueblos, and Santa Barbara high schools all hosted the Santa Barbara Water Polo Invitational this weekend.

Dos Pueblos’ renowned senior Blake Parrish fired 12 goals on the first day alone, only two goals shy of the numbers he put up in the season opener. Loyola eked out a close one the next day against the Chargers, scoring on the last play of the game to come out on top.

San Marcos won three matches in a row but had to swim to great lengths to do so.

Sophomore Miles Cole was the savior for the Royals in the tournament opener after he rifled one into the side netting to secure a 7-6 victory over Dana Hills. On Friday, Jesse Morrison stepped up and knocked in a goal with only seconds remaining after being tied up at 9-9 with Acalanes.

On the following day, San Marcos was brought down by Servite, which ended what had been, up to that point, an incredible run. The Royals finished 10th in the tournament.

Sophomore Sawyer Rhodes contributed four goals in each game for Santa Barbara High during their two consecutive wins opening day. The Dons took down St. Francis in the first game 105, before barely ousting Claremont out of the tournament 13-12. The Dons faltered the next two matches, thus concluding their run in the home tournament.

Dons Overcome Owls in Cross-Town Showdown The bleachers were filled last Thursday as the Santa Barbara High Girls volleyball team defeated Laguna Blanca in a straightset smackdown.

The Owls hosted the Dons in their own Merovick Gym but gave up a solid lead early in the match, before Santa Barbara went on to win 25-21, 25-13, and 25-17.

With a standout performance from junior Lourda Weeger and Katie Gallivan who both recorded 16 kills apiece in two games, the Dons went on to complete two additional sweeps against Royal and Thousand Oaks.

Their perfection came to a halt in the Moh’s Tournament where they went 2-3.

The Division 1 girls now move on to play their first league home game this Thursday against Oxnard.

SB High Girls Keep Legacy Alive The rationale behind entering the Santa Barbara High girls tennis team into the California Tennis Classic Tournament in Fresno on an estimated 103-degree weekend was baffling and seemingly bordered on calculated cruelty.

Seniors Mattea Kilstofte (left) and Madison Hale each finished 4-0 at the California Tennis Classic

time in six years.

The Dons’ momentum continued in a non-league matchup last Thursday against Westlake, where Kilstofte and Hale once again went undefeated in singles while

team has an impressive history as they currently hold a 35-game channel league winning streak, and they have given us no reason to believe that this year won’t be their 36th.

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...continued from p.7

“There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl’s complexion.”

Being Mitchell Kriegman

In the early 1990s, Kriegman created and wrote the game-changing teen sitcom Clarissa Explains it All, which knocked down the “fourthwall,” allowing its star to directly address the home audience, and tackled teen subjects with a frankness and gusto theretofore relegated to the third rail; as in Do Not Touch.

Most importantly, Clarissa, through Kriegman’s pointed writing efforts, tore down the barriers that had long bisected the teen viewership.

“It was a Barbie/G.I. Joe world at that time, and nobody believed that boys would watch a program about a girl. No one thought a girl could carry a show. I put a stake in the ground and calculated very precisely how to make that work. What’s interesting now is, all the kids I wrote for when they were 12 and 14, are 26 to 35 now, and I’m still writing for them, and that’s the audience for Being Audrey Hepburn.

I’m somehow 20 to 30 years behind my age!”

Kriegman’s Candide-like journey through the worlds of art, laughter, and sometimes - tremulous commerce has given him a thick skin, a quicksilver way with telling a story, and now absolute faith in the written word’s power to convey his Audrey Hepburn fantasia in all its complex hues and nuances. This new novel is but Kriegman’s most recent performance piece; this one in the brilliant light of day. He knows where to find his audience, and has a heartening take on today’s appreciators.

“We were all supposed to have stopped reading, right? What’s happening? Everybody’s reading! I chose to do Being Audrey Hepburn in novel form because I think that is the most vibrant, valid way to tackle the subject with the originality that I want to bring to it. What we’re seeing is the resurgence of popular fiction. The

A younger Kriegman with “Clarissa”

“Kriegman/Klugman’s final unlit performance at the Dance Theater Workshop was reportedly a piece knowingly titled An Evening of Stories and Tricks You Won’t See Anywhere” novel is the form in which character rules. There isn’t a story or a concept you haven’t heard before. What you’re surprised by is characters.”

He’s worked up now, Kriegman-style.

His eyes are shining, he’s gesturing, moving around in his chair, doing this thing with his shoulders.

He throws his head back and again fills the place with a brief, staccato burst of laughter, and I start laughing, too.

Breakout coming-of-age novels (as this one promises to be) often reflect the hidden hearts of their authors.

Stephenie Meyer, author of the jugular makeout epic Twilight, is a Latter-Day Saint whose preachy bloodsuckers are analogs for chaste young men chivalrously battling their runaway lusts. John Green, who wrote The Fault in Our Stars, is an ex-seminarian (who knew?).

Being Marshall Klugman

Kriegman is not so sanguine a figure. His journey to Being Audrey Hepburn has been an arc whose closest approach to an Ordering Principle has been avoidance of the expected. He has worked with both Jim Henson’s velveteen Muppets and darkling comic genius Michael O’Donaghue, whose screaming and writhing ‘knitting needles in celebrity eyeballs’ impression was the talk of a nervous fan base in the mid-70s, and to whose infamous cult movie Mr. Mike’s Mondo

Video Kriegman contributed two segments; a film so out of left field it gave even the subculture dyspepsia.

So he’s got the Mondo-to-Muppets spectrum covered.

Among many other accomplishments, Kriegman has written for Saturday Night Live when that was a badge of counter-culture honor, and Executive Story Edited the unnerving, puzzlingly subversive Ren & Stimpy cartoon (if you can call it a cartoon) for Nickelodeon when that network was a counterculture bastion whose writers were actually under orders to innovate, even at the risk of failure.

So the author of Being Audrey Hepburn is not your typical typist, his professional and artistic forays have been approximately as predictable as Brownian Motion. Perhaps not surprisingly, Mitchell Kriegman’s roots lie in the “let’s reframe the discussion” performance art of early-70s New York, where the young artist put his stamp on an evening out.

“My specialty was performing in the dark; I would do these conceptual pieces in the dark. I had a persona named Marshall Klugman. I did something called The Telephone Stories, which was the first Audio Art at the Whitney Museum.” The Telephone Stories also toured the country, ending at The Boston Institute of Contemporary Art. Kriegman/ Klugman’s final unlit performance at the Dance Theater Workshop was reportedly a piece knowingly titled An Evening of Stories and Tricks You Won’t See Anywhere. He has been a short-story writer, a performer, and a grant-festooned video artist.

In the 70s, he regularly held court in New York performance spaces with names like La Mamelle, Dance Theater Workshop, the Kitchen, and Franklin Furnace. During this epoch, ...continued p.22

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INtheZONE

with Tommie Vaughn Tommie adapted her love of the stage to the

love of the page. As lead singer for the band Wall of Tom, she created This Rock in My Heart and This Roll in My Soul, a fictional book series based loosely on her experiences in the L.A. music scene. Now she’s spending her time checking out and writing about all things Santa Barbara. Reach Tommie at www.TommieV.com or follow her on Twitter at TommieVaughn1.

Gettin’ Figgy with It

The Hopped Mosa

The Beer Mary

My Hawaii is ready to impress the FunkZone with their melodic sounds

Tony Grimes, general manager and mixologist for Fig Mountain has created SB’s first “Beer-tails”

A

ll right, I know what you’re saying.

We all know about Figueroa Mountain Brewing Company in the Funk Zone. We all love the beer, and have been happily hanging out there, for the past year or so – since the grand opening last summer.

But how can I keep from writing this article, when I damn-well know that for the next two weeks, all of us are going to be rubbing elbows there again. Of course, it’s hot, hot, hot – and all you really need is cold beer.

A Hop-head “Tail”

First and foremost, Figueroa Mountain Brewing Company has unveiled Santa Barbara’s first “Beer-tails.” No, that’s not a pun for “About last night” stories, of over-the-top drunken adventures. But mixology cocktails, perfectly blended with some of Fig’s most beloved beers.

Drinks like the Lounging Lizard, the Hopped Mosa, and the Beer Mary that are the perfect hangover cure, for any day of the week.

Not your typical cocktails either, thanks to general manager Tony Grimes (my husband), who not many know is also a trained mixologist, studying under

master mixologists Pablo Moix and Steve Livigni of Los Angeles. Those two are responsible for such inventive cocktail programs at the ultimate happening joints in L.A. such as Scopa Italian Roots, Harvard and Stone, Black Market Liquor Bar, Plan Check, and La Descarga.

“For me, Beer-tails was the natural evolution in the craft cocktail craze,” Tony explains. “I’ve been having a great time playing around with our beers, trying to compliment the delicious complexities that our brewmaster AJ Stoll has already created in our beers, and with so many different styles to choose from, the possibilities are endless. I’m trying to keep everything local and fresh, and plan on introducing specials seasonally. We also just released our Beer-Floats, partnering with locals favorite McConnell’s Ice Cream, with floats like the Stagecoach Stout with Vanilla Bean, Baltic Porter with Turkish Coffee, and Big Cone with Mint Chip. People are really loving it.”

The floats and cocktails are a fantastic new addition to Fig’s tasting room. The Lounging Lizard tastes like you’re on vacation, the tropical flavors blend so perfectly with Fig’s Lizard’s Mouth IIPA. Take a sip and you’ll swear you can hear

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The Lounging Lizard

the ocean. Made with the perfect blend of Lizard’s Mouth Imperial India Pale Ale, pineapple juice, mango juice, lime juice, organic agave, peach bitters, dried mango, and pineapple. It’s Santa Barbara living in a glass; grab one quickly during Figtoberfest.

Time to Press Your Lederhosen Wait, what? Figtoberfest? Yep, it’s that time again, and last year’s party was off the chain – so this year, since admission is free.

Get there early before the line is around the block- because the rocking band bill, is going to keep you on your feet all day long.

As the Sentinel goes to press, I hope most of you already know about Figtoberfest happening Saturday, September 20, from 12-6 pm. But if this is the first time you are hearing about it, get down to the Funk Zone quickly, with bands from L.A. and SB coming together, like King Zero, The Paul Chesne Band, and everyone’s favorite teens, The Caverns, sharing the stage.

The Lucky Penny will be supplying classic German bratwurst and sides, along with some fantastic prizes from The Guitar Bar, The Lark, and other FZ favorites, combined with Fig’s beer and new “Beer-tails” it sure sounds like one hell of a day.

Do Yoda a Solid

But that is just one weekend of fun, folks. The following weekend, on Sunday.

September 28, one of my favorite new bands will be playing at Fig as they hold their true “Hangover Party,” promoting the new Beertails and welcoming My Hawaii for the first time in Santa Barbara.

Okay, you have me again. Yes, the bass player in My Hawaii, Daniel Seeff, was the bass player in my band for three albums and six years of impeccable Star Wars jokes.

Mr. Seeff – along with bandleader Yohei

Shikano, Justin Deming, Miles Senzaki, and Jens Kuross – the inventive musicians of My Hawaii are some of the most talented in Los Angeles, with an eclectic sound that cannot be pigeonholed into one category of cool. With influences like the Beach Boys and The Rascals, Arthur Lyman, Paul McCartney, and Harry Hasono – and instrumentation ranging from your everyday guitar, upright bass, and drums to harmonium, cassette players to melodica – it’s no wonder they have fans like Edward Sharpe jumping up on stage to jam along with them.

They are now giving us a taste of their genius, with this first SB show. Get a sample early with their EP available online, Definition of Friends, that was recorded at two studios in L.A.—The Kitchen and Grandma’s Dojo—and you will be glad they didn’t keep these sounds in the oven. My Hawaii takes the stage on Sunday around 3 pm, so grab your light-sabers and get ready for them to take you on a groovy musical journey far, far away.

For more info on My Hawaii, go to www. wearemyhawaii.com, and for happenings at Fig Mountain Brewing Company, visit www. figmtnbrew.com.

Through the Grapevine

One more thing and you can thank me later for this little inside scoop: on Saturday, October 4, I heard the most delicious rumor about special musical guests who will be taking the stage at Fig Mountain. I’m not going to blow the whistle, I’m just going to whisper in the wind: this is a show you are not going to want to miss. Before they take the stage from 6-9 pm, get there early and act like you knew all along; I don’t care if you take the credit, just be there so you can be the first on Twitter to blow your friends’ minds. (It’s not the Foo Fighters, so settle down; if it were, I would not be able to type right now.)

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...continued from p.17 Kriegman was a well-reviewed habitué of the NYC art scene and received many favorable notices from the credbestowing SoHo Weekly News and the regular press in Manhattan.

Saturday Night Live

Then came SNL. He’d been rubbing shoulders with a widening circle of oddball writers and performers, and through his association with a certain cracked visionary, Kriegman brought his filmmaking and writing skills to Saturday Night Live, the edgy sketch-comedy showcase whose bent appeal was in no way ready for the Me Generation’s primetime attentions.

“I was in at the end of the Good Old Days, and at the beginning of the Not-SoGood-Old-Days,” Kriegman explains. “I wasn’t on staff but I worked with Michael O’Donoghue, so I was around all those guys. I was working on the fringes of SNL, and so when the new show started I was

Author Mitchell Kriegman signs his book Being Audrey Hepburn at Chaucer’s on September 25 (photo

by Cara Robbins)

hired to do my weird stuff, and I had an incredible catbird seat because I was aware of all the original casting they were doing, and saw them make all the wrong choices.

I saw them pass on Sandra Bernhard, I

saw them pass on Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman). Andy Kaufman offered to do a regular series on the show, and they passed on that offer. It was a brewing disaster.

And then suddenly, they didn’t really want what I did. There was a shift. Which was fine with me because I wanted to get out.”

That shift became real when he was summoned to the office of Jean Doumanian, newly anointed executive producer of Saturday Night Live, deep in the storied bowels of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. When he arrived there, he saw he wasn’t alone. The entire cast and writing staff had been convened, and the vibe wasn’t good.

Several months before, SNL creator/ producer Lorne Michaels had left the show in a huff, worn to pieces after five nonstop years of producing the wildly popular weekly heart attack, and feeling slighted by NBC, whose Johnny Carsonera mandarins never really understood the appeal of the show and paid it little mind. Michaels’ sudden departure precipitated an exodus, and his handpicked troupe of players – John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman, et al, had all left the building, never to return. The writers did the same.

Now, mere months later, the new SNL had been unveiled, late the previous evening.

Live.

The sun had risen on a new SNL era and the first reviews were hitting the newsstands. Michaels’ beleaguered successor had convened the cast and writers in her office. She would read the reviews aloud. SNL 2.0 was not exactly being celebrated. On the other hand, Kriegman had been singled out for

“He did a program for Showtime called the Twisted Puppet Theater.

‘Puppets for people who hate them,’ as he describes it, straight-faced.” praise by several critics, to his colleagues’ chagrin.

“I had three films on the show, and they got really great reviews, and nearly everything else on the show was panned.

So the other cast members would turn to me after each review and say ‘Well, I didn’t hear anybody laugh at that!’ So it was like a comedy lynching, you know?”

He laughs, loudly. “So I was glad to go, though a lot of my friends worked there.”

Ren & Stimpy

He next created shows for something called the Comedy Channel, an early forerunner of Comedy Central. He did a program for Showtime called the Twisted Puppet Theater. “Puppets for people who hate them,” as he describes it, straightfaced. These groundbreaking efforts, not always embraced by an adoring public, often served as incubators for future comedy scribes.

“The people that I worked with on those shows all ended up running Saturday Night Live. People like Steve Higgins, and Andrew Steele, who now

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runs Funny or Die. They’re some of the best comedy writers around.”

Later, Kriegman would develop kids programming that would redefine the genre. His Bear in the Big Blue House with its surreal Hensonesque spunk and patina of mild irony, garnered several Emmys and Parents’ Choice Awards for Kriegman.

How exactly does one swing from Manhattan performance art to muppetmanaging mixmaster? “In New York City at that time, a comedy writer had two

“While mischievously plumbing the Met’s Costume Institute archives, fashion aspirant Jess has stumbled upon Givenchy’s One True Dress as a pilgrim might a remnant from the Lost Ark”

barrier-smashing was the order of the day at that new network.

“When we worked at Nickelodeon – and I mean people like Will McRobb, Chris Viscardi, and John Kricfalusi, who created Ren & Stimpy – Gábor Csupó, who created Rugrats – our job was to explode kids’ TV. That was the mission from Gerry Laybourne, the head of the network. You could fail as a show, fail in the ratings, you could fail any way whatsoever if you just took a risk.” He pauses. “And you had to come in on budget.” More loud laughter.

Even having just met him, you can see Kriegman is a guy who has spent a lot of time in the throes of hilarity.

“The most satisfying and most freeing thing for me is to do something new, and explode it. You look back at Bear in the Big Blue House or Clarissa and you think, ‘Oh, you did these popular shows’, but I was always on the outside.

Always. It’s not the easiest way to make a career. Sometimes you hit a wall. And sometimes people see you coming and run the other way.”

places to work; you could work in kids’ programming, or you could work in latenight comedy. You know, Sesame Street or Saturday Night Live.” He went on to write Elmo in Grouchland and several other projects and features for the Jim Henson Company and Columbia Pictures. By the time he landed at Nickelodeon in the 90s,

Mitchell Kriegman will sign his new novel, Being Audrey Hepburn (St. Martin’s Griffin), at Chaucer’s Books, 3321 State Street in Santa Barbara on Thursday, September 25, at 7 pm. www.beingaudreyhepburn.com

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...continued from p.8

A trolley “stop” at AT&T Park, home of the Giants

downing some drinks at the front bar, the band hit the stage for what turned out to be an amazing night that truly blew away all dozen of us dancing and smiling just a few feet away.

These aren’t novelty ditties, mind you, but well-crafted songs befitting any solid bar band. In fact, the nearest antecedent I can think of would be Rockpile back in the late 1970s-early 1980s, when Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds would trade off lead vocals while the British boys behind them kicked butt. Even if you didn’t hear any of the words, it would have been easy just to rock out blissfully. But if you’re a baseball fan – wow!

BBP’s songs tell storied old and new about ball players famous (Ted Williams,

Willie Mays) and not so much (Larry Yount, Robin’s older brother, who holds the distinction for being the only pitcher ever to appear in the record books without ever actually having faced a batter because he injured himself during his warm-up pitches and never entered a game again.) They have a song about how we love all these men who off (or even on) the field were a lot less than lovable just because they played baseball, and one addressed the Veteran’s Committee about wanting to see Dale Murphy in the Hall of Fame. Personally I’d sooner see Dwight Evans inducted, but that’s just me.

But that’s also precisely the point.

Listening to BBP is like sitting in the stands with an old baseball salt, jawing back and forth about which player is better and whether the manager should have called for a sacrifice bunt. Only smarter. And all set to a super fun pub rock soundtrack.

So the point is, the Baseball Project put on the best rock concert held in a club so far this year. And you weren’t there. Oops.

Clubbing, Continued

Here’s what’s going on in the bar/ nightclub scene this fortnight. SBCC’s been going for a month now, the UCSB students are due back any moment, so, yes, the bar and club scene downtown is heating up again. Still, let’s start – and mostly end – with an old faithful, SOhO,

which doesn’t scale back during the offseason at all.

Saturday, September 20, brings String Stories, a new one-man multi-instrument show by Andre Feriante, the guitarist of many stripes. The new tour features what Feriante calls “an amazing array of handmade instruments” custom-made for him, plus personal stories from his musical journey. Expect to hear not only the guitar, but also ukulele, banjo and harp guitar, performed by the awardwinning, Italian-born guitarist/composer who normally specializes in classical and flamenco.

Clearly Cohen

On Sunday, a plethora of local and SLObased artists come together for a tribute to Leonard Cohen, who turns 80 on the very same day. Good thing his voice was always gravelly to begin with! But now you can hear some of his incredible songs through the interpretations of fellow, if less famous, singer-songwriters.

So Dark, it’s Dub

More tribute stuff on Monday, when The Easy Star All Stars hit SOhO promoting the 10-year anniversary special edition of Dub Side of The Moon, the band’s reggae version of Pink Floyd’s classic album Dark Side of the Moon. Dub Side didn’t come close to breaking Dark’s insane record for longevity on the Billboard album chart, but it did hold down a spot on the reggae

chart for more than seven years. The new version includes a new track, “Breathe 2014”, which features additional vocals

by Eric Rachmany of Santa Barbara-born Rebelution.

Wednesday, September 24, brings to SOhO the Golden State Lone Star Revue, featuring blues stalwarts Mark Hummel, Anson Funderburgh, Little Charlie Baty – all of whom are normally headliners in their own right – plus special guests.

Corey’s Cohorts

There will be another benefit concert for Corey Orosco, one of the Orosco Brothers who co-founded Ernie and the Emperors – the first-ever act to get signed out of Santa Barbara way back in 1965. Corey went on to work with lots of local and touring musicians in the Orosco Brothers home studio, including being the first to record Katy Parry when she was more of a gospel singer, and the members of the Tearaways, but has recently been diagnosed with Stage 4 lymphoma.

Cafe R & B, whose leaders rocked out with the best of them at the recent Santa Barbara Blues Society benefit concert, do a full show in their hometown at SOhO on Saturday, September 27.

Elsewhere, Aussie band Clairy Browne & The Bangin’ Rackettes have booked a stop on their Love Cliques tour at Blind Tiger, the new three-level establishment on lower State Street.

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by James Luksic A longtime writer, editor and film critic, James has

worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his eighth state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast, you can find James writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

A Must-see at Paseo Nuevo I

t’s true, by and large, August and September have proven less than fruitful. This column’s regular readers (all three of you) know I’ve bemoaned the famine of meaningful movies in recent weeks. Despite a desire to avoid the coast’s latest heat wave, I had no motivation to sit through Dolphin Tale 2 and If I Stay; having seen lengthy trailers for each, I concluded those four hours would be better spent watching my doomed Oakland Raiders lose again.

A singular light at tunnel’s end – after I’d given up on a game-changer – has materialized as The Drop, currently the pride and joy of Paseo Nuevo on State Street.

(I regret missing, at the same venue, Love Is Strange on its opening weekend.) The Drop could stick around for an additional week; perhaps it will transfer to Plaza De Oro. Then again, it could instantly vanish like the morning dew. If you were me, you wouldn’t risk letting it slip away.

Best Film of 2014

L

ook what the wind blew in: The Drop falls from September’s sky like manna from crime-drama heaven. The late James Gandolfini’s final film – a blood-stained piece of work – couldn’t have been a sturdier, crisper, more earnest effort from director Michael Roskam and writer Dennis Lehane (the genius behind Mystic River, perhaps the finest film never to win Best Picture).

If at first the premise feels simple and contrived, stick around. A lonely bartender (Tom Hardy) gets caught up in the mix of funneling cash to gangsters; it’s difficult to trust his boss and cousin (Gandolfini, right at home in New Jersey).

A mysterious neighbor (Noomi Rapace) with a shady secret enters the fray to assist our hero with a stray dog, beaten by its previous owner (outstanding Matthias Schoenaerts) who – rumor has it – may have killed a missing man.

A robbery at the hero’s tavern grabs the attention of a vicious kingpin, who thereafter wants “his” money back.

From start to finish, it simmers and crackles with tension, suspense – with a strong, palpable sense of time and place – in the same vein as last year’s Out of the Furnace. Roskam and Lehane neither denigrate nor feel a need to explain everything as if their audience is chockablock with kindergartners. Violence and theatrics get tempered by solemn, moral ambiguity. Its casting is both inventive and shrewd; in turn, the dialogue cooks while the narrative bubbles up progressively, logically, and most of all assuredly. Drop in.

Let’s Not And Say We Did

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a costume party, but trickles into the streets, where passersby think our two impostors (Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans, Jr.) are the real deal. From that point on, not a single moment is remotely plausible. Instead of enjoying the cheap thrill for only one night, the dumbed-down duo persists in pushing the boundaries – of the law and good taste.

No question, suspension of disbelief is required for the entire 100 minutes – but it doesn’t offset the onslaught of absurdity. Even the sneering villain (James D’Arcy) can’t be taken seriously: with his willowy physique, he looks more prepared to pound a few cocktails rather than another person. Luke Greenfield, taking a step backward from his guilty pleasure The Girl Next Door, casually directs here with all the authority of a teenage lifeguard working on his tan.

Here They Come Again

I

n case you’ve lost track, or simply can’t match every weathered face with every name, the motley crew of The Expendables 3 includes Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, and Terry Crews, among others. Because Stallone co-wrote the script, you can be certain he’s the hero, this time on the trail of a ruthless arms dealer (Mel Gibson, at his coolest) who everybody assumed was dead. Our hero surmises his team is washed-up and thus rounds up a new, younger tech-savvy gang (including UFC champ Ronda Rousey).

Also on board are Wesley Snipes, muttering about being imprisoned for tax evasion (just like in real life – isn’t that hysterical?) and Antonio Banderas, nimbly striving for comic relief. Balancing the sweaty, bulky testosterone are Harrison Ford and Kelsey Grammer, both adding refined gravitas in a movie that doesn’t deserve it. Curiously enough, Gibson is the revelation: this bad-boy actor – who became a pariah several years ago – plays it straight with menacing appeal and emerges untarnished in the bargain.

Patrick Hughes directs less like somebody in control and more like he’s in awe of his cast and their worn-out antics. The film’s poster states: “New team, new attitude, new mission” – but it’s really the same team, same attitude, with a familiar mission. More gunfire, combat, explosions, and subsequent yawns. The cacophony’s overall effect is that of a Metallica album played through an electric fan.

Of course, it wouldn’t be The Expendables or any low-brow action flick without Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose streak of self-deprecation continues when he instructs Stallone’s warrior: “I’m getting out of this business, and so should you.” That’ll be the day.

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BEHIND THE VINE

Several restored cabins dot the property for guests to enjoy

by Hana-Lee Sedgwick Hana-Lee Sedgwick is a digital advertising executive by day and wine consultant and blogger by night. Born and raised in Santa Barbara, she fell in love with the world of wine while living in San Francisco after college. Hana-Lee loves to help people learn about and appreciate wine, putting her Sommelier certification to good use. When not trying new wines or traveling, she can be found practicing yoga, cooking, entertaining, and enjoying time with friends and family. For more information and wine tips, visit her blog, Wander & Wine, at wanderandwine.com.

JCR: Small Winery Big on Pinots

Y

ou don’t have to live in Santa Barbara long to realize there’s an endless amount of things to see and do right outside of our doors. That’s why this area is so fantastic, right? It really offers something for everyone.

It’s an especially good place to be if you like wine in any sort of capacity (be it you like to guzzle it down without a thought or are more of a wine aficionado). From the Santa Maria Valley to the Santa Ynez Valley, there’s a ton of great wine to be had – from larger production wineries to the smaller ones.

On my quest to introduce readers to lesser-known local wineries and/or to the people behind SB’s favorite wines, I was happy when I stumbled upon JCR Vineyard, a relatively newer smallproduction winery just south of the Sta. Rita Hills. JCR Vineyard is nestled in the hills of Lompoc at Jalama Cañon Ranch, a beautiful 1,000-acre property dedicated

Vineyards: Pinot Noir grapes grow on the steep hillside, protected from harsh winds JCR Vineyard is known for its refined Pinots

to raising cattle, goats, and now, growing grapes. There are 5.5 acres of vineyards on the property’s steep hillside, where Pinot Noir and Chardonnay enjoy a long growing season sheltered from the strong Coastal winds that tend to sweep through the area.

Purchased in 2004 by Santa Barbara business partners Wayne Siemens and

MASSAGES FACIALS WAXING BODY TREATMENTS

David Grotenhuis, the land was originally part of a mid-1800s land grant from the U.S. government to prominent early settler, Jose Antonio De La Guerra. To honor this history, the original grant deed is printed as the background script on the wine labels. Although the ranch is just a short drive from Lompoc, the owners have kept its rustic charm and authenticity, so when you’re on the property, it truly feels like you’re the only one within miles and miles. Very peaceful!

JCR’s first harvest was in 2010, producing about 72 cases of wine. By the 2012 harvest, they were bottling around 690 cases. Winemaker Alison Thomson and consulting winemaker Chad Melville (of Samsara Winery) focus on producing several Pinot Noirs to demonstrate how the differences in soils and slopes can greatly affect the flavor profiles of the wine. They also have about a half-acre of Chardonnay vines to produce their small

Santa Barbara

127 West Perdido St. Santa Barbara Ca., 93101

allotment of Estate Chardonnay.

When I visited recently, I was met by a couple of happy ranch dogs and the general manager, Kiah Jordan, who showed me around the ranch house and vineyards. He first poured the 2011 JCR Estate Pinot Noir ($45), which is a blend of 3 Pinot Noir clones from across the vineyard and the second vintage of this wine. With 14.4 percent alcohol, it may be slightly on the bigger side for a Pinot, but it still manages to be quite delicate with bright acidity.

Aromas of coconut, ripe raspberry, vanilla, and spice are intertwined with cranberry and brambly flavors. There were about 240 cases produced, up from 72 the first vintage.

I also tasted the 2011 Pinot Noir Pommard 5 ($65), which is the Pinot that put JCR on the map. It has spiced currants, figs, and prunes on the nose, along with distinct dried pine-needle aromas.

Seventy-five percent new French oak adds complexity to the wine without being overbearing, resulting in spicy flavors and nice structure. A lovely Pinot! Only 100 cases were produced, so get it while it’s hot!

JCR’s Pinots are served at a few restaurants in town, such as Julienne and bouchon, but look out for their new tasting room opening in the Lompoc Wine Ghetto this fall.

JCR Vineyard, 3365 Jalama Road, Lompoc

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by Christina Enoch

Lounging Tastefully at Piano Riviera

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emember the “Fire-Tini” cocktail at Element Lounge? It was the place for a fun cocktail evening But there are new kids on the block!

Introducing newly revamped Piano Riviera Lounge.

It has become my headquarters. Every weekend, we meet at Piano. It just has too good of a feng shui to let go of.

First, it has this vibe that I imagined what Santa Barbara should be like: chill in a slightly sassy way. The balcony overlooks a breathtaking view of the courthouse.

On Saturdays, my favorite musical ensemble called The Quartet plays and you’ve gotta check it out. Fabrice Allain, well-known local DJ (a.k.a. Dj Fab) in the mix with talented pianist/guitarist Dave Laflamme, saxophonist Colin Richardson, and beautiful vocalist Nina Led for a jam improv. When they played “I Love Paris” with Dj Fab beats in the background, I realized we’ve missed a goto spot such as this. Every night, there will be a different local band playing.

Secondly, chef Stephen Goularte sure makes you feel welcome. This Californiaborn chef went to culinary school at SBCC, got his training in classical French cuisine at Downey’s (one of my favorite places; I’ve written about it), learned to be an entertainer

Make sure you try the Soju Cocktails. Smooth and refreshing!

After years of working full time for an ad agency, Christina found her passion in cooking and food.

Now armed with her newfound title, “Culinary School Graduate Food Blogger,” she writes and shares her passion for food, cooking, restaurants, photography and food styling in her popular blog, black dog :: food blog. Christina’s a proud mommy of not one but two shelter dogs and lives here in Santa Barbara with her husband. She’s also an avid Polynesian dancer, beach lover, traveler, swimmer, snowboarder and most of all, a lover of anything edible and yummy. Check out her ramblings here and at www.blackdogfoodblog.com.

playing with theme dinner working on a boat, learned how to run restaurants, did marketing work at Chase, helped run everevolving nightclubs at Rocks and EOS, and studied Riviera cuisine abroad.

“I absorb essence of Riviera cuisine and combined with local flavor. It’s easy when you have fresh, seasonal ingredients to start with,” he says, with a Luciano Pavarotti smile on his face.

Where to begin on Chef Stephen’s food.

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New kids on the block: mixologist Fabrice Allain (DJ Fab), chef Stephen Goularte, and owner Michael Ganz Burrata small plate: arugula, heirloom tomato, aged balsamic, and heavenly Burrata

Britannia salad with butter lettuce, tomato, avocado, mama’s vinaigrette (DJ Fab’s mom’s recipe). Try with grilled shrimp.

Chef Stephen’s famous lasagna; the sauce is made with love and cooked many hours

Chef Stephen Goularte. How can you say “no” to this face?

avocado, momma’s vinaigrette (DJ Fab’s mom’s recipe). Try it with grilled shrimp.

Arugula salad-peppery arugula, shaved fennel, lemon and extra virgin olive oil, shaved parmesan; I enjoyed it with grilled

skirt steak. Burrata is a party on a plate with arugula, heirloom tomato, aged balsamic, and delectable Burrata.

Make sure you have Chef Stephen’s famous lasagna. The sauce is made with love and cooked for hours.

One special evening is “Branzino night” – featuring roasted branzino with lemon caper sauce. Simple and so tasty. Try it with sautéed spinach. Usually, I don’t eat truffle pizza other than Olio e Limone’s black truffle pizza, but Chef Stephen’s one

Black truffle pizza with arugula and sea salt just out of the oven

is different and equally delicious: light, thin, with arugula on top.

The cocktails are delicious, Soju-based and thus smoother than regular mixtures. My favorite is Rosemary, mint and blackberry cocktail and lavender lemon drop! I love the fact that their food is not overly salted, seasoned, or dressed. It’s like someone

cooking at home: simple and clean.

Get informed about the exciting daily events – such as paella night, all-you-caneat mussels night, bouillabaisse night, stand-up comedy night and Sunday endless mimosa-reggae brunch.

Ladies, meet me at 7:30 pm at Piano Riviera Lounge. Let’s recreate the Santa Barbara spot that’s reminiscent of Sex and the City and appreciate what we have for a night. Good friends, music, food, cocktails, and Santa Barbara evenings. We are pretty damn lucky.

Piano Riviera Lounge 129 East Anapamu Street (805) 882-0050 Check out its Facebook page for upcoming daily events.

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...continued from p.9

Serving on the Pyro Bar

Climbing the tower

Our own camp was trampled by a drugfrenzied man on one night and broken into on another night. As wild and crazy as it can seem out there, Burning Man is not some lawless Western frontier.

The ever-present sheriff trucks roaming the streets and watching from the Playa is a reminder that while Black Rock may be its own city, it is not its own country and very much under the regulation of the U.S. government. K-9 units are available for drug searches and the sheriffs are looking for any signs of underage drinking or excessive drug use. When serving alcohol, we were required to ID people and sting operations are performed on the larger camps. The idea of ID’ing at Burning Man is silly, since alcohol is probably the tamest drug out there. But alcohol is the easiest one to regulate and is therefore given the most attention.

Lay of the Land

As you could imagine, with 70,000+ people in attendance, finding your way around the festival can be tough.

The overall structure of the camps is a semicircle, with the Man in the center.

Obviously you don’t want to burn the Man with camps nearby, so there is a halfmile diameter circle surrounding the Man where camping is not allowed. This is called the Playa and there are a wide range of art installations dotted throughout the space.

The main streets are oriented like rays of sunshine coming off the Man. Each one is named after a time. The avenues begin at 2:00 and end at 10:00. The Man’s right hand is located directly at 3:00 and his left hand at 9:00, with 6:00 coming directly out of his back. He looks out at the emptiness that would complete the circle and this space is called Deep Playa.

Many of the art cars and mobile parties will travel into the Deep Playa during the night, creating 360 degrees of lights, sound, and chaos. The Temple is located about 1,500 feet in front of the Man. The innermost street that borders the Playa is called the Esplanade and is considered the grand boulevard of the festival. As you walk down a ray, the cross streets begin at A and end at L. 3:00, 6:00, and 9:00

Building of the Temple

based camps and is the creation of Mark and Corinna, owners of the Pyro Bar. This year, there were about 30 people in the Enclave and our camp was composed of three main sections. The personal camping area consisted of our tents, a kitchen, lounge, shower, and port-o-potty (a first-time luxury for even the more seasoned Burners). The Pyro Bar was our crown jewel and was parked on the corner of 9:00 and Esplanade so that passersby could come up and be served a wide variety of drinks. The stereo.bot structure was our other main feature. This $150,000 geometric concoction of triangles forms a horseshoe shape and was being borrowed from stereo.bot Inc. out of L.A. We put a DJ-stage inside and covered it with fabric and lights. The structure gave the camp a central focus when the Pyro Bar was away.

Along with a few smaller offerings, these elements formed the Enclave.

Fate of the Convoy

are the main intersections. Base camp is located at 6:00 and Esplanade and offers amenities, art work, and a general forum for people to meet. The Enclave was located on the corner of 9:00 and Esplanade. Being at one of the biggest intersections in the festival, we were in the thick of it.

Naming streets after time seems like an ongoing Abbott & Costello joke, because confusion can occur when you are told to meet someone at 3:00 at 2:45. Of course, you don’t wear a watch at Burning Man. You barely know what day it is. When you come out of the desert, all you are left with is a mush of memories that exist in your mind with little sense of chronology of time. The following stories are only a few of the many moments (appropriate for this column) I experienced while camping with the Enclave:

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festival. There is walk-in camping; however, theme camps are the norm.

Groups of people that are often, but not necessarily, from the same area will come together and create a camp around some central idea. These camps can consist of a few people to hundreds. From Barbie Death Camp to Orgy Camp (both of which are exactly what they sound like), there are hundreds of camps that can cater to anyone’s personal taste. Each official camp has to be submitted to the Burning Man staff. Once approved, it is assigned a location based off of its theme and size. As you enter, you are given a thick guidebook that lists all of the camps, their locations, and their official events.

The Enclave is one of the Santa Barbara-

Bigger camps are given early entry passes that allow them to come in and build their site before the general audience arrives. For Enclave, a convoy of four trucks would reach Black Rock City five days before Burning Man began. Other members would arrive as their schedule permitted. As a first-timer (referred to as a virgin), I wanted to see the entire city get built-up and then broken back down.

I signed up for the Enclave build crew and prepared myself for two weeks out in the desert.

We were supposed to leave on Wednesday morning. By Tuesday, it became clear that it was not going to happen. The Pyro Bar still needed work.

A decision was made. The convoy would split. Two of the four trucks would go ahead and build base camp, and The Pyro Bar would stay behind with a supporting truck driven by Scott and Ron, chief ...continued p.33

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with Julie Bifano Ms Bifano is drawn to micro-fiction and is currently writing her first novel – The Grace Below. She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

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A tasty barbecue concluded the sunny afternoon, and I recalled the John F. Kennedy quote that came to mind at last year’s Charity Regatta, “We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch, we are going back from whence we came.”

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...continued from p.31

The burning of the Temple

mechanic and chief bad ass, respectively.

I was in the first wave of the convoy. Out of the six in our convoy, four of us were virgins. We left late Thursday morning with two trucks carrying the majority of the camp infrastructure, and most of our booze. We headed out to the desert with 55 gallons of white whiskey, a case of tequila, mixers, and about three dozen bottles of spirits, bitters, and liqueurs. Personally, I was bringing four cases of beer, six bottles each of absinthe and champagne, among other tidbits from my liquor cabinet that seemed fun to drink out in the desert (think Remy Martin XO). This was going to be a wild ride.

We arrived to Black Rock City at sunrise on Friday morning, 20 hours after having left. A normal entry time could range anywhere from a few hours to more than 10. It was a surreal feeling as we drove through the gates with no one front of us. We were welcomed by a transgender person named Sparkle Pony. She bounced up to us in a bikini, her top slightly misplaced on her implanted chest. Sparkle Pony was my introduction to the Playa names. We were told to check-in with Topless Deb, and then Papa Bear would help us find our camp site. By the time you meet Flacid Fred, your enthusiasm for the Playa names has gone limp.

We spent the next days working in grueling heat, wind, and dust to get the camp built. Our cell phones still worked to some degree, and we would get brief updates from the Pyro Bar convoy. They left on Friday. On Tuesday, after an engine fire that closed down the I-5, several break downs, and days of spirit-crushing conditions, the Pyro Bar arrived. The convoy was complete and for the Enclave, Burning Man had officially begun.

A Mirror Pond in the Desert

Unsure of what the conditions would be like out in the desert, I decided against bringing my SLR camera. It was good fortune that one of my camp mates, Jody, a fashion designer studying Ayurvedic medicine, had brought hers. We partnered up. I used her camera, and when she needed I acted as her photographer. I cut a hole in a large zip-lock bag and put the

camera inside, fastening it with a zip tie so that the lens was poking out but the camera was covered from the dust.

On the day that the Man would be burnt, Jody wanted to go see the Temple and explore the Playa a bit. We set out on our bikes with a few ideas but no real direction. It was a windy day, and off in the distance you could see dust devils roaming the grounds and sheets of white sweeping through the camps. Protected by snowboard goggles and scarves tightly wrapped around our faces, we waded out into the endless sea of gypsum and swirling clouds of dust toward the Temple.

The Temple is a large, Mosque-like structure composed of Islamic-patterned cut wood. At Burning Man, the Temple is a holy place. Throngs of people visit it – praying, thinking, and leaving mementos of their loved ones. I observed some of the objects that people had left there, taking note of a Miller Lite can and an Arrogant Bastard bottle. As Jody and I stood in silence, both of us deep in our own thoughts and feelings, a huge dust storm blew through the Temple. The dust swished its way through the open walls and thousands of objects inside, sending a shudder through the stillness of the room.

In awe of the ethereal setting, we exited and made our way onto the Playa and back into the white wall of dust. We rode toward the city. Out of the white, an apparition appeared. The faint image of an artistic bike rack and two people came to us with the uncertainty of a mirage.

Jody pointed in their direction and we made our way over. It was a guy and a girl who, like us, were waiting until the white out passed and it was safe to bike again.

The man specialized in essential oils and tinctures. He gave us some peppermint oil to put in our nostrils, and the exhilarating rush of mint ran through my respiratory system and eased breathing in the harsh conditions. The woman offered us some Tecates and we naturally started discussing my work with beer. A smile began to show through the layers of dust on her face as I spoke. She told me she had only one bottle of her favorite beer that she had been saving for a special moment. She pulled ...continued p.34

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Burn Baby Burn

The burning of the Man is the wildest party I’ve attended. Tens of thousands of people surround the subject, the vast majority of which are likely on heavy drugs. Music blares from art cars and the infinite bright lights surrounding the scene are only outshone by the flames coming from the Man. Once he collapses, thousands of people run toward him, hooting, and hollering as they sprint in a circle around the flames.

On the night of the Burn, we rode out to the Playa on the Pyro Bar. I sat on the roof lounge with some of the other Enclavians, sharing our beverages with one another. I was nursing a magnum of sake, and circulating a bottle of Remy Martin XO, which we drank right out of the bottle. The Man took particularly long to collapse this year, and you could feel the collective mood as people waited in anticipation for him to come down. That is where the description of this experience ends. I have no photos from the burning of the Man. You don’t take a camera to that party.

Exodus

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...continued from p.33 out a Deschutes Mirror Pond Pale Ale and told me that she wanted me to have it.

The peppermint, still ringing in my nose, gave the piney-citrus notes a unique twist, and the bitterness helped cut through the wind, which was blowing across the opening of the bottle and playing a gentle flute tone. The soft song wisping away from us and into the opaque haze of the outside world. That will forever be the best Mirror Pond I’ve tasted and one of my favorite moments with beer.

We said our farewells and hugged them before leaving one another. Jody and I begin to slowly make our way back home.

We biked through the streets, stopping off to grab a Bloody Mary at one of the camps before returning to the Enclave. Bloody Marys have always been a favorite cocktail of mine, but this was when I discovered their usefulness in the desert. The tomato juice was hydrating, and I immediately felt nourished as it worked its way down my body. The spicy edge helped waken the mind with more effectiveness than a cup of coffee. We decided to stay for one more Bloody Mary, but after that we needed to go back. It was time to burn the Man.

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The burning of the Temple is the exact opposite experience as the Man. People make a point to party to a state of exhaustion during the Man burn.

The next day, the Temple is burned in a fatigued silence. Once again, we drove out to the Playa on the Pyro Bar to watch the Temple burn. No music was playing.

Lights were subdued.

Everyone watched in silence as the heat from the fire flickered against our faces and the wind whistled in our ears. The Temple collapsed in an awe-inspiring spiral of flames and smoke. All of the mementos and messages left in the Temple were

The Man

sacrificed to the fire. We turned the Pyro Bar around and rode home in silence, the soft rumble of the engine soothing our thoughts.

That night, with the trip stumbling to an end, we had one final dinner as the Enclave. The kitchen would soon be gone and we needed to use up what supplies we could. We feasted on salmon cooked to perfection and served alongside kitchen remnants given a Mediterranean flare. There was dates, hummus, feta with strawberry sauce, and a tofu stir-fry. The dinner started off in silence, the memory of the Temple burn still smoldering in our thoughts. Conversation began to leak its way into the quietness as the vibrant flavors broke apart the serenity of the scene. The dates gave the salmon a cinnamon-toasty note that encouraged the warmth of the soft lighting and our own deep thoughts.

The Monday following the Temple burn is called Exodus. Breaking down camp and packing up is never fun, even on small camping trips. We got through it, finishing late on Monday night. That Tuesday morning we set off toward Reno for the big, Decompression party at the Grand Sierra Resort. That experience is a whole other story. Let’s just say that after days without showers, running water, and air-conditioning, people are in a good mood and ready to enjoy the luxuries of life.

As time takes me further away from the experience, Burning Man takes on new meanings to me. Is it just a massive party or a cultural phenomenon? Well, it is a little bit of both. I’ve had some wild trips, but this was by far my biggest adventure.

At times it was strenuous or even scary.

Other times, it was wild and vibrant. Any moment could snap from an absolute calm to a state of chaos. A feeling that seemed to be emanated by the weather.

Did it change my life? Yeah, probably. I found Burning Man to be a big experiment in self-discovery. We all headed out to the desert with a thirst for intrigue and directed by our own intent. What we found out there was up to us.

What I discovered about myself I probably already knew, but it was nice to confirm it with whiskey in hand and a little warmth from the fire while sitting atop the Pyro Bar.

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You Have Your Hands Full

by Mara Peters Former editor for the fashion/lifestyle section of the New York

Post, Mara moved to London and worked as a contributing editor for the Daily Mail’s You Magazine, freelancing for Look Magazine, NY Post and the Style Magazine for The Sunday Times. To remain sane during diaper years she writes a mommy blog, You Have Your Hands Full – www.handsfullsb.com.

Hitting Some Roadblocks

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 – O C TO B E R 4 | 2 0 1 4

she asked. She’s an observant kid.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. That is how I sum up my current parenting moment. In fact, it is starting to become my mantra. Four kids home all summer and I am damned. Wishing that school starts is a don’t: that’s when the schedule kicks in and the driving commences.

“So Mara, what do you do?” a new

Our car is home away from home

35

in a room and decided how best to screw with families that have multiple children.

And it seriously worked. I’m certain it is a maniacal, single, childless person who thought this would be a great joke to play.

“I got the mornings,” Alpha assured me (because, going from his name, you can imagine he can’t get the afternoon – too busy hunting for meat to feed the family).

Day one, 5:45 am swim conditioning out at Dos Pueblos. Home phone rings.

“Jeez, I completely forgot I had a call scheduled at 7:30,” Alpha reports, five minutes into his first driving commitment.

“But don’t worry, don’t worry, I got this covered. Just called half the office to see who can pick up Jackson.”

Fast-forward one week. Now I am doing the 7:15 am pick up, with all the kids in the car sleepy and cranky (Alpha is on a business trip), I can’t help but gently explode. The driving is driving me mad.

I’m about to go off the road.

“Those driverless Google cars will really come in handy,” Olivia commented, her voice full of optimism and hope for the future. “They can’t really innovate those things fast enough, huh, mom?”

I look over and all I can do is bleakly nod. We can all have dreams.

Peters Pick

L

ike on most afternoon days, there I was, driving one of my kids to another sports event. In this case, it was Tuesday, which makes it Olivia’s swim conditioning. Lost in my own thoughts of driving despair, I was not really listening to her chat away.

Then her chatter penetrates my brain fog and I hear her big plan.

“If I work really, really hard, and dedicate myself,” she was saying in her most earnest voice, “I think I’m going to be able to play water polo at Stanford.”

Struggling in the midst of my own dark, bleak moment, I have to confess my thoughts are not necessarily constructive.

“Olivia,” I imagine saying to her in a matter-of-fact way, “Why bother to have hopes and dreams as lofty as that? Because the reality is, you are going to get married,

have kids and then spend your entire time transporting them from point A to point B. This will happen on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. So you see, you don’t really need a college degree, sweetheart. What you need to do is book yourself into a driving school and save yourself some major college tuition debt. Believe me, I speak from experience because that is all I do in spite of my education, rocking career, and lucid mind. I drive. And unlike Uber, I don’t even get paid for it.”

Forcing a smile, I looked at my petite 6th grader (another reason she might not be able to play for Stanford), not having the heart to even go there. “That’s nice, honey,” I tell her, nodding and grinning like I have just downed Prozac with a side of vodka.

“Mom, why are you acting so weird?”

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“Well, from 3 to 7 pm I drive,” I reply, “every day.”

“That’s funny,” she said.

“Actually, not really.”

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by Megan Waldrep With over ten years in the industry designing for

her own label, she began writing because “it just felt good.” In addition to writing, Megan is currently the head designer and creative director for Mew Kids, a children’s clothing line, as well as a co-author of the much loved children’s book Spice & Little Sugar. You can say she wears many hats. Which is fitting. For a fashion writer and all. Discover her world at www.mewkids.com.

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Gimme some lovin’: For Keeps V-neck, $48 Two parts that make a whole: Sydney Brown Wagner and Joah Brown of Joah Brown Apparel. Join 17K fans on Instagram to follow the journey (@ JoahBrown).

The welcoming space at apparel market MAGIC in Las Vegas. “Market” is where boutique owners buy from designers each season.

J

oah Brown and Sydney Brown Wagner have hard work and determination running through their veins. In just nine short months, they’ve transitioned a massively popular headband business into a women’s clothing collection sold in more than 50 specialty stores around the world.

How did they do it? With blood, sweat, tears. Oh, and they’re both under 30.

After celebrating the time-honored tradition of figuring out what to do with one’s life (also known as the early 20s), cousins Joah, 29, and Sydney, 25, have found their niche. Joah Brown, a name representing both women, is a rapidly growing fashion line based in Carpinteria that has garnered international attention in record time. But it didn’t start out this way.

Introduction into the entrepreneurial world began with Coolie, a fashion headband line, named after their grandfather, which the girls ran out of Joah’s two-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles.

“Joah would sew all day and I would be on the computer, filling the orders,”

Sydney reflects. Success was fast, and the girls were already one step ahead. “At the time, we both saw it was more of a fad and we would have to evolve,” Joah notes. “We were both planning for the future because we knew we wanted to do something like this.” After building momentum for Coolie, the girls faced a huge challenge – they needed to change the name of the business, due to trademark issues. It was time to start again.

Transforming the headband business was another test to their creativity that proved to be just another notch on the belt. With Joah’s background in buying and trend-spotting in previous retail jobs and Sydney’s behind-the-scenes expertise, the girls took it to the next level and went from hand-sewing accessories to garment manufacturing.

Note to readers: The logistics of having a garment made is a grueling undertaking. Sourcing fabric, developing the correct fit, making patterns, perfecting sample pieces... this is the unglamorous underbelly of the fashion world that is

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masked by pictures you see in magazines.

An endeavor which separates the strong from the weak.

After you are able to accomplish the first stages of developing a collection, finding a manufacturer you can trust is the next Herculean task. Finding a manufacturer that will take you on is a whole other ball game – this ain’t for the faint of heart.

True to form, Joah and Sydney made it happen. Joah states, “(The manufacturers) looked at us like these girls have never been in the industry, they don’t know what they’re doing. We were calling every week saying, ‘This is what we want to do and it’s going to work.’” They were right.

Currently, orders are being filled and shipped all around the world.

“Syd and I... we weren’t in (the fashion) industry,” Joah says. “We learned an entire industry. We’re both go-getters and hustlers and if we don’t have the answers, we figure out how to find it.”

Self-professed tomboys growing up, they’ve created a line they both describe as “a tomboy feel but a little bit sexy at the same time. A Venice Beach grunge feel with a twist of a clean vibe.” The buttery soft pieces range from $65 cardigans to $29 tanks. Subtle design adaptations will make you do a double-take. Each piece can be worn over yoga pants or pared with a leather jacket with ease. The drape is perfection, flattering for all body types.

With a strong sense of branding, they knew they wanted to build a lifestyle brand.

Enter into the world of JoahBrown. com: you are introduced to clothing, jewelry, sunglasses, music, and more that will transform you into a Joah Brown woman. Get hands-on with the collection by visiting local outlets Core Power Yoga, Drishti Yoga, Hummingbird, and A-Frame Surf Shop.

The best way to learn is getting down and dirty in the business, and Joah Brown is currently looking for people who want to grow with them. If you want to learn from two women who define “gettin’ after it,” this is your chance. Like Joah and Sydney, you don’t have to have a fashion background to get in the game – just the hunger to learn.

A truly inspiring story with a continuous happy ending, Joah and Sydney are living proof that dreams can be achieved. Only two and half years from sewing headbands in a small, L.A. apartment to selling to the world, these women show that confidence will take you far. “If you set your mind to something and work really hard, you can do it,” Joah declares. I’m convinced.

Seeing is believing.

Shop local for Joah Brown!

Core Power Yoga 1129 State Street Drishti Yoga 130 E. Canon Perdido Street Hummingbird 3823 Santa Claus Lane Carpinteria A-Frame Surf Shop 3785 Santa Claus Lane

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...continued from p.12 Produce. Casa de la Raza, one of our best neighborhood volunteers, will be serving as wine stewards.

Four live music stages will keep you grooving along Milpas, with funky soul provided by Soul Biscuit, and a classic rock blast from the Jim Rankin Band. The new FUNZONE at East Beach Batting Cages will be putting on some incredible youth bands, while stages at the Fresh Market and McDonald’s will feature dance and music teams from local area non-profits vying for patron tickets.

We’re all about community on Milpas, and our area non-profits step up and put a lot of effort into the Taste. Some will provide youth ambassadors to guide you to your next Taste destination. Some will provide art on the street, like the Visual Art and Design Academy at Santa Barbara High School. Some will do live performances, and others will assist with setup and breakdown. We love giving them the chance to show off their great work to Taste patrons, while helping them raise funds for their programs.

Milpas is 14 blocks long, so you can walk off some of that great food, but we’ll also have pedicabs and shuttles from Metropolitan Transit District to get you around easily.

Tickets are $30 in advance, $35 day of the event. Wine / beer garden tickets are $15. It sold out last year, so get tickets now at tasteofmilpas.nightout.com or call (805) 636-0475.

Viva Eat Street!

Drought History: Read All About It

by Cheri Rae he current drought has posed many issues of concern, but it’s hardly the first time in our city’s history. Our friend and occasional contributor, Kellam de Forest, often offers much-needed context to community discussions. Here, Kellam provided us with this 1924 article written by his father, Lockwood de Forest, Jr., the noted landscape architect. He and his wife, Elizabeth Kellam de Forest (Kellam’s mother) wrote and published The Santa Barbara Gardener magazine from 19261942.

This article questioning lawns offers some insight about the thinking behind Santa Barbara’s early landscaping, and remains timely 90 years later; though most of us have no estates to plant and maintain, the drought-tolerant suggestions are helpful for the gardener of just a few potted plants – and practical information about alternatives to our increasingly brown lawns, a longtime issue in our community:

T

Do Lawns Belong in Southern California?

by Lockwood de Forest, Jr. from Garden Magazine and Home Builder, 1924 lmost everyone is familiar with the advertisement showing the world in the process of being covered with paint.

A

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Cheri Rae

Cheri Rae is the senior editor and columnist for sbview.com. Known for her civic activism and insightful chronicles of the local scene, Cheri has a hard-won reputation for writing about issues that other Santa Barbara-based writers are reluctant to tackle.

sbview.com The same effect results when lawns are spilled indiscriminately over our California hillsides.

Lawns have become so much a part of the garden scheme that they are used without adequate thought by most of the people who buy our estates in Southern California. Because of the low annual rainfall, which comes only during the winter months, the natural scenery is brown for most of the year.

The easterner accustomed to much green grass feels this to be an objection and plants lawn indiscriminately over his estate. The result, for most of the year, if the grounds are on a hillside and visible from a distance, is of an overturned can of green paint.

The lawn as a foundation for a naturalistic garden scheme in Southern California is based on a false note. In England, where the naturalistic style of gardening originated, the lawn is the natural expression of the country and was the logical foundation of the naturalistic gardens there. But here in the South West, it is as foreign and unnatural as the most formal development.

The climatic conditions of Southern California are not dissimilar to the Mediterranean coast of Spain, France, and Italy. A study of the older gardens in Italy will show very little use of lawn.

To be sure, most of the old gardens were of a formal character; it was not until the English garden-esque style swept Italy that so-called naturalistic gardens were made and lawns were used.

A study of the gardens in Italy shows that this older type of arrangement brings about a greater harmony between the house and the natural landscape.

Surely the lawn is a foreign element in the countries just mentioned and is as surely a foreign element here. No foreign element can be used as a successful part of a purely naturalistic treatment. No formal or semi-formal treatment makes a suitable foreground to an entirely foreign near middle-distance. If these facts are kept in mind, the proper use of the lawn in the gardens of Southern California is assured.

The practical consideration of lawns in California imposes many more limitations than the artistic. Lawns have to be artificially watered most of the year.

This becomes a high-upkeep expense in labor and means a high installation cost of a sprinkler system to take care of the watering. In many communities,

lack of water or low pressure makes a sprinkler system out of the question.

Our lawns are not permanent; they do not improve from year to year until they make a glorious sod as in England. Every so often, they die our or get into such a condition that it is advisable to replace them.

These considerations make a large lawn prohibitive to most people and inadvisable to many more. A perfect lawn makes an unequalled green carpet, but a weedy, half-green lawn is only one degree better than bare ground, the one degree being the prevention of dust. Don’t plant more lawn than you can take care of.

The problem of an artistic use of the lawn resolves itself into screening it from an inharmonious natural landscape of bare brown hills. The problem is simplified somewhat if the garden is located in a valley or on fairly level ground. Tall shrubbery of any kind will hide all but the mountains, and in Southern California, the variety of shrubs obtainable is so great as to make any combination of texture and color of foliage possible.

A screen in a formal development is most easily obtained by a wall, or fence, or hedge. Large hedges can be produced quickly here by using Monterey Cypress.

The effect is similar to the Italian Cypress screens used in Italy, but are started very much more quickly and with much less expense. There are numerous other satisfactory hedge materials, but none as rapid growing or as cheap as the Cypress.

The problem of the lawn area on the hillside or hilltop estate is the most difficult to solve satisfactorily. One of the most common solutions is the lawn terrace ending in a balustrade or wall.

There is no better setting for a somewhat formal residence. An objectionable middle-distance can be screened by a planting of trees below the terrace. There are many varieties of trees that grow so rapidly, that the expense of screening from below is nominal and amply repays the time spent in waiting for a finished effect. From a practical standpoint, this is an ideal arrangement, as tree or shrub roots are eliminated from the lawn. Trees of rapid growth are of necessity gross feeders and only with difficulty can the ground beneath them be kept attractive.

By having the trees planted below the lawn terrace, the unsightly area of the roots is hidden.

The more common of the droughtresistant, rapid-growing trees that require little or no attention after planting are: the varieties of Eucalyptus, most of the Acacias, Monterey Pine, and Monterey Cypress. Another customary solution is the Mall or Alee, of lawn bordered by flowering shrubs or flowers, backed by ornamental trees or an orchard, and ending in a pergola or some architectural feature.

If the slope of the hill is not too great, this makes a very attractive scheme. The

Lockwood and Kellam de Forest

upkeep of such a development is greater than that of the lawn terrace, though the first cost is often less. The informal lawn on a hillside is difficult to handle. It can be beautiful where it makes a background for the shadows of large oaks or other trees, but unless the feeling of nearness to the glorious purple and gold hills is removed, a semi-formal development will rove more in keeping than absolute informality.

The most logical place of the lawn on the Southern California estate is immediately around the house, as a ground cover where the surrounding planting cuts it off from near-by elements, or as a carpet in a completely enclosed area removed from the house. The small economical lawn leaves a large area to be developed in some other manner. A succession of gardens is often effective but always expensive to build and maintain.

There can be rose gardens, flower gardens, herb gardens, vegetable gardens, Spanish gardens, and varieties of formal and semiformal gardens without end. Lawns may be used effectively in many of them and no expense be spared.

But a problem arises when the owner of an estate wishes to work out an effective planting that can be maintained with a minimum of labor and expense. Droughtresistant shrubs are the most economical ground cover to maintain here. They make an interesting transition from the house and lawn to the native hillside.

The material that is most natural is, of course, the native shrubs themselves.

Ceanothus in variety, the California Holly or Christmas Berry, the Wild Cherries, the Wild Sumachs, and the Coffeeberry are among those most often used.

There is a wealth of material that harmonizes well with the foregoing imported from all over the world, including Pittosporums, Bottle-Brushes from Australia and New Zealand; varieties of Cotoneaster and Pyracantha from China; Rosemary, Spanish Broom, the Strawberry Tree, Mediterranean Heather, Portugal Laurel, Butcher’s Broom, from the south of Europe; and others from Africa, Asia, South America, and Mexico.

It would take volumes to mention them all, but it is easily seen that the greater part of the Southern California estate can be successfully, attractively, and economically planted without lawns.

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E X PE RT I S E Expert advice.

Comprehensive solutions.

Extraordinary results.

Helping to optimize your financial success.

©Richard Schloss

With over 65 years and counting, BPW has grown into the largest accounting firm on the Central Coast. Opening our

doors as a sole proprietorship to recently being named as one of the Top 100 “Best Accounting Firms to Work For”

by Accounting Today, our relationship with our clients and the community extends far beyond the numbers.

BPW’s team of over 55 professionals serves a diverse client base—from family generations to corporations with multiple locations. If you need tax or audit services today, a cost segregation study on a building purchased tomorrow or estate planning in the future, our integrated services are designed to meet your well-understood needs.

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Sotheby’s International Realty and the Sotheby’s International Realty logo are registered (or unregistered) service marks used with permission. Operated by Sotheby’s International Realty, Inc. Real estate agents affiliated with Sotheby’s International Realty, Inc. are independent contractor sales associates and are not employees of Sotheby’s International Realty, Inc.