Aislinn Thomas: “As I am and as I become” | Manuel Neri, "Untitled (Kneeling Figure)," 1991

As I am and as I become: Untitled (Kneeling Figure) in four times Voice 1 Soy joven y atractiva, y traigo a la mente el primer amor de quien me observa con admiración.

Voice 2 Others can interpret who I am in any way that touches them.

Voice 3 I remind people of someone who is tired and ready to leap back into life.

Voice 4 I remind people of someone who's strong.

Voice 2 My pose can be thought of as if I am about to sprint or I am taking refuge. [pause] Voice 2 I am a sculpture called, Untitled (Kneeling Figure) Voice 4 made by Manuel Neri Voice 1 por Manuel Neri

Voice 4 in 1991 Voice 1 en mil novecientos noventa y uno.

Voice 3 I am bronze with oil-based enamel paint.

Voice 2 Manuel Neri was born in Sanger, California in 1930.

Voice 4 He lives and works in Benicia, California. [pause] Voice 4 I’m very petite.

Voice 2 I look lean.

Voice 1 Soy delgada y esbelta.

Voice 3 I’m kneeling down Voice 4 Because I'm kneeling I look smaller probably than I am.

Voice 2 I am not of tall height.

Voice 4 On my knees I'm maybe about the height of a four year old. [pause] Voice 2 I am naked, Voice 4 kneeling on my right knee, Voice 1 mi rodilla derecha está apoyada en el suelo.

Voice 4 Even holding myself up with my right hand on that knee.

Voice 1 Mi pie en flexión, como preparándose para dar un salto o empezar una carrera.

Voice 4 My left knee is up and my left arm is to my chest.

Voice 1 Mi pierna izquierda está doblada pero mi rodilla no toca el piso.

Voice 4 I’m looking forward, gazing out.

Voice 1 Muestra un equilibrio natural, sereno, sin esfuerzo.

Voice 4 I am solid bronze, covered in some areas with some enamel paint.

Voice 3 I have white, pink colors on my body Voice 2 that are vibrant, that clash with the bronze. [pause] Voice 2 My hair is short, Voice 4 my features are gone in my face, Voice 1 Mi rostro no tiene definición.

Voice 2 You cannot see my face.

Voice 1 Lo que me hace pensar que puedo ser una y todas las mujeres.

Voice 3 I am rugged with scrapes on my body, uneven texture.

Voice 2 My body has some smooth parts, like my legs, even my knees.

Voice 1 Mis piernas son bastante definidas y musculosas mientras mis brazos muestran porosidades y no tienen tanta definición.

Voice 2 But my upper body has scratches there are parts missing as if they've been chipped away.

Voice 4 I’m here but I'm not all here, Voice 2 There is a gap where my armpit should be on my right side. My backside has a big chunk gone. My face also has scratches or gaps. And my right arm is thinner, and more deteriorated than my left arm.

Voice 4 And people sometimes wonder, what's going on with me?

Voice 2 My bosom almost looks like an open chest.

Voice 4 Why am I kneeling?

Voice 2 From the bottom my breasts look intact, Voice 4 Why am I holding my arm to my chest?

Voice 2 but towards the top it's as if there was an armor of my skin, of my anatomy, taken apart.

Voice 3 What I may be feeling while kneeling down?

Voice 2 And I am either reaching in and pulling something out or showing you what is inside.

Voice 4 Am I hurt? Am I okay?

Voice 2 There’s a lot of pains in that missing part of my body.

Voice 4 Do I need help?

Voice 2 Who are individuals who kneel? Why are they kneeling? It's not a comfortable position. But yet here I am doing so. [pause] Voice 1 Me veo como una mujer atlética, fuerte, bella.

Voice 2 I am exposed. I am vulnerable.

Voice 4 But I'm also strong.

Voice 2 I am deteriorating. I must be tired.

Voice 3 I look tired.

Voice 2 I remind people of their mothers.

Voice 4 This little town in México, high in the mountains, and the people from there are known to be runners.

Voice 2 I am crouched down as if I'm speaking to a child, to my child. I am showing them something. Either a part of, me a story, an advice…taking pieces of my identity and sharing them with my children.

Voice 4 These runners that run through the mountains and are known as some of the fastest people in the world running in such high altitudes.

Voice 2 I also remind others of teachers, teachers who are trying to communicate with their students by coming down to their level and being at eye level.

Voice 4 You know, they're running in huaraches, or sandals. You know, they have just such strength, inner strength.

Voice 2 A teacher who's tired but still giving a part of herself.

Voice 4 When people see me that's what they think of. [pause] Voice 1 Mi autor no me dio ningun titulo, soy una mujer sin nombre y ni rostro Voice 2 I am untitled because my face is a mystery.

Voice 4 I think he had a right. Sometimes you can't just give something a title.

Voice 3 I feel as though it doesn't add to what I am, doesn’t summarize my whole being.

Voice 4 I’m untitled and maybe that's because I'm everchanging. And one title couldn't just stick with me. I grow, and I change, and I evolve. And so, I think being untitled fits me well. [pause] Voice 2 I feel exposed in this gallery Voice 1 Me siento muy agusto en esta galería.

Voice 2 But I also feel seen as if I've been waiting to demonstrate this part of my identity.

Voice 4 It feels amazing.

Voice 3 It feels wonderful to be able to be part of something.

Voice 2 So although others look down upon me, I feel strong being in this vulnerable state.

Voice 1 Mi autor es famoso y yo soy una pieza que pertenece a este mundo de arte.

Voice 2 Rather than look down, I would prefer others to get down to my level, get to know me rather than judge me from above.

Voice 4 I wish people would see me as something more than just a kneeling figure.

Voice 1 Deseo ser considerada no solo como una mujer fuerte y atractiva, si no como un ser humano capaz de contribuir a su entorno y vivir en armonía.

Voice 4 And although I'm kneeling, I just wish people could understand that sometimes you need a break.

Voice 3 That is okay to take breaks and take time for yourself to be ready to continue.

Voice 2 I know I don't wish to be complete, because that would change who I am.

Voice 3 I wish to be more and better than what I am now.

Voice 2 But I do wish to be seen, to be understood. I wish to keep giving although it might deteriorate me more.

*** Contributors Voice 1 Voice 2 Voice 3 Voice 4

Maria Vargas Natalie Herrera Yasmin Rivaro Rojana Ibarra