LIFE DRIVE Ryan and his husband Jeff have been married for three years. Together, they own Bosley Hair Co. in Tecumseh. When they announced their engagement, some family members didn’t realize he was gay . . . even though Ryan and Jeff had been dating for three years. “Our wedding was in three months and just before I had to explain to my grandparents that Jeff, he’s not just a roommate, he’s my partner,” he said. “They were probably shocked, thinking everything is happening so fast but it wasn’t—we had been together for three years prior to our engagement.” The relationship the two have with Ryan’s dad has grown over the years. They do almost everything together and that has become the norm. Thirteen years ago, that might not have been the case.
just been completely open and comfortable with myself.”
Steve Brown
Steve Brown is a single father to his daughter, Alyssa, who is four years old. He’s got this unshakeable commitment to be the best father to Alyssa, which led him on a wild journey he has embraced. It started by being a single father. He took parenting classes, but he still had questions and sought advice. Doing so, he realized a lot of the advice being received was from women or mother-focused groups. “As a dad, I wanted to hear what other dads had to say,” he said. “I started thinking to myself, all of my good friends are fathers themselves and I have never thought to talk to them.” So, Steve decided to do something no other dad has done here in Windsor. He created a Facebook group named Fantastic Fathers: an online space for dads to talk, ask questions, and share advice.
Prior to coming out, Ryan was never particularly close to his dad. His father was always busy between work and his brother’s travel hockey. So, Ryan’s mother took him under her wing. Since Ryan came out, his “I found something I am good at and I dad has gotten closer to him by talking, embraced it,” he said confidently. going for walks, exercising, and even Steve launched the Facebook group in attending Ryan’s parties. February 2016. In the beginning the page “The best part for me was that I opened consisted of 44 members, which rapidly up to him and he’s opened up to me,” he said. “Some dads might not know the direction to go in, but by being there, it means so much.” In the book The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World, written by Alan Downs, it states the first man we’ll ever love is our father. Regardless of being a male or female, if that man decides he won’t love you for coming out, it will set a damaging trend for the rest of your life, where you may associate that with any other man who comes into your life. “I would like to see dads spend more time with their sons,” Ryan said. “They don’t have to understand the ins and outs of same-sex relationships or talk about it. Just stay close, spend time together, and be there.” When asked if there was anything he could have done differently, Ryan wished he had spent more time with his family growing up. “Now that I’m older, family is so important to me and I feel like I missed out on some things. I was there, but it never felt like I was there and I wish I could press rewind on that,” he said. “I feel like I got robbed, in a sense. I would have had more time with my family if I had THEDRIVEMAGAZINE.COM
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