Keeping our children mentally healthy

Dr. Daniel Waldman, Child, and Adolescent Psychiatrist at Virgil Family Health Center, knows it can be challenging to really understand what is going on with your child. Between growing educational and extracurricular demands to social media concerns and bullying, it can be difficult to uncover what your child is thinking and how they are feeling. Dr. Waldman suggests that starting a meaningful conversation is an important tool to help kids “develop a language to identify what is going on and what they’re feeling. This gives children the opportunity to problem-solve.”

Here are a few tips to start meaningful conversations with your child:

1. Ask open-ended questions

Start with simple questions that have an easy answer, and don’t settle with “yes” or “no.” Follow up with open-ended questions so your child can begin connecting the dots between their thoughts and emotions.

2. Focus on positives

Keep questions positive and focused on strengths. Specifically, identify and reflect on the actions the child took to make their day better. This builds confidence, problem-solving skills, and helps your child recognize that their choices can make a big difference.

3. Use conversation cards to enable choice

Write down things you consistently want to check in about and a few fun questions. You can make a set of ten index cards or visit https://childhood101.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Childhood_101_Conversation_Cards.pdf for templates. Your child gets to choose the card so they can focus on the topic they feel comfortable talking about. If a parent also answers the question and models talking about their emotions, it can be impactful.

Getting your kids to open up

EXAMPLE QUESTIONS:

Did you have math class today? On a scale of one to five, how did it go?

Ready for summer break? What’s one thing you’re looking forward to?

I’m glad you had fun at practice. Has working on your skills made practice more enjoyable?

What made you smile today?

CHECK-IN QUESTION:

What are three things that you’re proud of?

FUN QUESTION:

If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?

If your child has shared a mental health concern and you need more support, the Clinic offers behavioral health services for children, adults, and families. Contact your pediatrician for more information. If you need immediate assistance, call 988 for mental health crisis support or go to your local emergency room.