9002 ht9 rebmeceD ,yadsendeW To the fucking Jew-Bastard in my microeconomics class. No one wants to hear your dumbass constantly asking those retarded ass questions of yours. Seriously your questions are fucking dumb and whenever you open your mouth your voice sounds like a panda bear getting anally raped by a rhinoceros. So I’m going to ask you nicely in honor of the entire class. Can you please SHUT THE FUCK UP! kthxbai To the porker in our sociology of deviance class, leggings were not made for fat girls- please wear sweatpants instead. And if you must wear leggings, don’t prance up and down the aisle 5 times a class because you look like a damn stuffed sausage and seriously, no one wants to see that shit. (I got an idea! Require lyposuction for said cows if they want the right to wear those things. In fairness, my alternative was going to be death for all offenders...) To the fuckin dumbass bloods wannabe on the F last thursday flipping everyone off repeatedly as we approached each bus stop...What the FUCK everytime you turned around and smiled at everyone cause you thought you were so clever.. didnt you realize no one smiled back ... you looked like the biggest fucking loser on the planet. I hope you get hit by a fuckin bus and die a very painful death To the Asian kid in American Constitution Law, who sits in the front row of the central seating section. YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT. You don’t just have that Asian fish-y stink, you smell like the first floor bathroom of Alexander Library and month-old puke. And what the fuck possesses you to be a complete tool? When the professor laughs, it’s not a cue for you to laugh--you’re just being fucking annoying. P.S. You have an ass for a face, you dumb fuck. To the guy who wears a skirt/ kilt in my Gender & Society of Europe class, stop talking and let the professor teach the fucking class. You’re fat and you waddle when you walk. No one thinks you are smart. Eat a fucking dick.
PERSONALS
YOUR MOM
“FUUUCK YOOOOU DOOOLPHIIIIN AND WHAAAAAAALE!” if my penis could talk: “put To the ridiculously goodsome lotion on me! your looking guy walking by the jerking me too hard! OH, lipman bus stop on Wednesand i DONT like it when day in the blue sweatpants you try to bend me into your and D&G glasses, let’s The semester is over! This is the last issue of The Medium OWN asshole you FUCK- make babies ;) (and frighteningly my second-last semester before having ING SICKO!” To that girl in front of De- to enter the real world) and the last Personals page. I’ve (You’re weird.) marest who gave me the gotta give it up to you guys; the readers. You’ve helped This goes to the idiot living once over last thursday make this page fucking awesome this semester. You’ve next door to me. You com- morning. Who the fuck submitted more than EVER. If you submitted and didn’t plain about everyone’s mu- do you think you are? I get yours in, don’t fret! We’ll be back again next semessic tell people to talk lower, mean honestly, don’t judge ter and I’ll provide some tips for how to increase your yet you play your music me because I am wearing chances of getting in (like actually being funny, making louder than anyone else in Uggs and a sweatshirt and them SHORT, etc.). I wish we had enough space for evthe building. You go on jeans.. honestly. You don’t eryone, money is still tight, but if things keep going the rampages and yell and curse know shit bitch. Stop walk- way they are that’ll change in the not-too-distant future. at your parents in a different ing around in your nasty Anyways, enjoy the end of the year, fight the War on language through the phone ass high heeled boots and Christmas well, and we’ll see you fuckers in January! in the hallway while slam- ugly jacket and grandma ming your door and hitting handbag thinking that you ~Satanic Yoda the walls. You’re truly a are better than me because dear sadistic yoda, the editor Dear, Satanic Yoda. About waste of life. guess what, you are not, you of the personals i believe, i your little section in the To my Jewish Roommate, stupid bitch.Go suck some want to meet you. I think ur last issue. I agree MW2 you’ve inspired me...to join cock and get the fuck away the best thing since sliced rocks!!!! But let me just say Westboro Baptist Church from my dorm, you dumb bread. Supposedly you’re that, YOU ARE FAIL!!!! To that retard in the RSC whore. hot and ur super funny. Ev- for being an arrogant PS3 computer lab Friday night: (You still suck for wearing erytime I read the personals fanboy for actually writing Just what the fuck is so fun- Ugg boots, clone.) I think I can tell who you’re about how, in your opinion, ny? You’ve been giggling To the black kid on the gonna like and hate and I’m you feel the PS3 is so supeout loud for the past two 4th floor of lippincott who always wrong. You’re unrior. You loser. hours, and it’s really starting wears that stupid ass fuck- predictable and that makes (It’s not that I’m a PS3 fanto piss me off. SHUT THE ing hat, no one gives a fuck- u a sexy beast ;) not to be on boy as much as XBox 360 HELL UP. ing shit about plainfield. It ur jock like hanes but heyyy is such a piece of shit and (Fun Fact! At the Rutgers fucking sucks anyway so wat is gooddddd? LOL -in- you’re a fucking moron for computer laba, if someone is why try to rep it. Your not giving money to Microsoft. terested first year doing something like watch- cool when someone asks (I don’t ususally go for fresh- I’ll keep my HDMI support, ing porn or being loud and “yo where you going” and man but you’re screwing my Uncharted 2 (and in March it pisses you off, YOU are you say “fucking plainfield” name up is kinda cute :-p. God of War 3) and free onthe one that has to move!) you sound like a fucking re- Come find me baby.) line play, you little jealous To the stupid looking ass- tard asshole. To the Grossly Misinformed shit.) hole I fucked with in front (I’d rip on Plainfiend too, boy who has used “Plessy v. I want to fuck my math prof. of queens last month after but I’m afraid I might get Ferguson” to get laid: Did You know who he is, the you decided it would be a shot.) you complain that all of really funny one with the good idea to put your piece to the indian girl that was at your friends were getting glasses that slaps his own of shit camera in my face the college hall bus stop on fucked and claim that you face when he makes a misand take a picture with the thursday night, nov 5- the are required to receive equal take. He has such a deep, flash on. Yeah...I’m still inane shit that came out of treatment by the fat whores commanding voice that I pissed...and yeah...I hope your mouth was THE defi- of Brett? Or maybe you want to yell at me while he you’ve had trouble eating nition of ‘verbal diarrhea’. I took advantage of Romer v. fucks me in his office. It’s your fruit loops every morn- regret ignoring the impulse Evans and got with the gui- really distracting because ing after I Kimbo Sliced you to push you in front of the do fratboys you fantasized I think about this while he in the cocksucker. Oh and oncoming EE bus, because about while writing your teaches, its probably why when you’re done jerking i’m sure the guy you were personal last week. I’m failing his class. Hopeoff to that beautiful mother taking to is too stupid to put To M.S. over @ the Targum fully I’ll have to take this fucker in the picture you a condom on right.... the sports desk......Fuck You, class again! took (me), I’ll gladly auto- prospect of your genes liv- your a fucking hypocrite dear annoying pillsbury ing on is as depressing as and know nothing about jewboy who is always really graph it for you. (Dude, Kimbo Slice got his genocide. sports. You picked Rutgers sweaty from pacific histoass beat when he went to the (Man, when I had forced to get decimated and now ries, feel free to throw yoursterilizations in mind I was your trying to back up their self into on coming traffic UFC.) How is it possible that the thinking about Glenn Beck rankings? Just shut the fuck any time. dirtiest whore at Rutgers fans!) up and go get a real job, (THIS is what I’m talking doesn’t even go here?? La- Dear WebReg, you fucking like sucking off the Targum about for an ideal submisdies, step it up. This bitch suck a long, hard, hairy dick editor’s dick....you are piti- sion! Short and sweet!) only comes around once a and i wish you would die a ful and don’t deserve your To one of the guys on the month and she’s out-doing violent death. PS - PLEASE job. Go watch ESPN and wrestling team: Thank you all of you (no pun intend- someone drop out of Topics stop jurking off to the girls for cheating on my neighed). Nobody likes you here in Math section 11... on College Ave that you’ll bor from back home so that but the 12 dudes you blow (Hahahaha I got to register never get with. she decided to not enroll at every weekend when you before you!) (That dude’s column about Rutgers. You have no idea come... shit.. well damn. So there is a tip jar at the Rutgers fans not being ener- how happy that makes me. if you add that up you’re abortion clinic, what do you getic enough made me want She would have brought the probably pretty fuckin pop- do? to fucking kick that smug intelligence of our school ular around here by now. (You better hope they get it little shit’s ass.) down by a few points. all and not just the tip!) Now I get it...
FROM THE DESK OF SATANIC YODA...