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Roscommon People Friday 28 October 2016
NewsPeople
From My Kitchen Table
Boyle Musical Society presents ‘Hairspray’
May divorce be with you, Cheryl
Boyle Musical Society are delighted to announce that tickets for their eagerly-anticipated new show, ‘Hairspray’, will go on sale on Saturday, 29th of October from 12 pm. Tickets can be booked or purchased from the BMS ticket office, which is situated beside Marian’s on Bridge Street. Tickets can also be booked by telephone on the BMS Ticketline on 085-2756426. ‘Hairspray’ will run from Wednesday, 16th of November-Sunday, 20th of November in St. Joseph’s Hall, Boyle (8 pm nightly). ‘Hairspray’ is a wonderful light-hearted modern musical for all the family. For more information please go to www.boylemusicalsociety.com of follow us on Facebook.
MIRIAM KERINS
he may have the IQ of a breeze block and a backside covered in expensive tattoos – and she may be known as the lout who allegedly screamed abuse at a toilet attendant before punching her in the face leaving severe bruising, leading to her being described in a piece in The Daily Mail at the time as ‘completely paralytic’ and needing to be restrained by security staff. But now, the chart-topper, who has metamorphosed from the snaggletoothed Cheryl Tweedy, to wretched WAG extraordinaire Mrs. Cole, to hastily hitched, finally meeting her Waterloo, Madame FernandezVersini, is now best known for her tempestuous love life. Regarding those assault allegations – and I have to point out, Chezza disputes them – however a court did find her guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm to her victim, Sophie Amogbokpa. And ya know, back in the day, when I interviewed Britain’s leading light and casually asked how she’d completed her 120 hours of unpaid community service as laid down by the judge…as ya do…the national treasure’s response was to freeze me with an icy stare and storm off in a huff, leaving embarrassed bandmates Kimberley Walsh and Nicola Roberts to make excuses for her. Classy or wha’? Fast-forward to today and Prima donna Cheryl is still making headlines for all the wrong reasons; (sigh), i.e., her official status as a divorcee, (again), meaning she’s free to marry her toy boy lover and probable future ex-husband, former One Directioner Liam Payne. Sure to be honest, how that marriage to Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini could have lasted is anyone’s guess; I mean, he spoke French, she spoke
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Cheryl pictured with ex-husband Jean-Bernard Fernandes-Versini.
English, well Geordie, so it’s no wonder last week’s court papers listed the relationship as having ‘broken down irretrievably’; the pair of them couldn’t even understand the venom they probably hurled at each other! However, the woman with the bouffant hair who either loves wedding cake or likes collecting mothers-in-law, or perhaps it’s just a case of the poor pet continuously seeking marital satisfaction; (because she’s worth it), who knows, is now rumoured to be preparing to add Payne to her growing list of monikers. Apparently, well according to Hollywoodlife.com, baby-faced Liamo is contemplating asking for Chezza’s hand in marriage. How sweet. Well readers, if the ‘pregnancy’ gossip and hearsay is anything to go by, it appears the lad’s already had more than the singer’s hand…if ya get my drift. To be honest, I don’t get the whole fascination with doe-eyed Cheryl; I mean okay, she’s got a few cute
Shout out to the lads! ty I’d like to take this opportuni ely lov two to out to give a shout gentlemen whom I met durings last the course of walking my dog week. They’re called Gerry and Martin from Tulsk! I believe a good job must se always be recognised and the ular two friendly gents, who’re reg ng readers of this paper, were doi sterling work building a dry stone wall. If there’s one designnt element having a major mome ul lately, it has to be those beautif
can’t traditional dry stone walls. I y’re pretend to understand how the constructed, but the process g certainly looks like a dauntin faintproject that’s truly not for the hearted. s However, the combined effort ry Ger is t tha of the inventive duo skills and Martin, along with their ole wh the de ma and dedication, sa operation look very easy. It wa day of e tim the s pleasure to pas to with you lads. I look forward in. aga h bot meeting you
dimples, and oh, yeah, she can manage to whinge and whine at the drop of a hat; then again, so can my enchanting little Jack Russell whom by the way, before we rescued her from a life of cruelty, does have an infinitely more tragic back story than the aul flannel coming from the, ‘really tiny, box-like council house that must have been really
cramped with seven of us;’ that little poppet Chezza’s peddled in her autobiography when referring to her upbringing on a council estate. And of course there’s nothing wrong with growing up on a council estate…I did. Well Corporation estate was what we called it in the People’s Republic of Coolock in Dublin, where you’ll find wonderful, community spirited, saltof-the-earth people, but I digress. Look folks, as far as I’m concerned the good people of Roscommon can rest easy knowing that Ms. Cheryl-Simon Cowell-likes-meTweedy/Cole/Fernandez-Versini, whom, despite having allegedly lived through some powerfully aggressive marital strife with ex Jean-Bernard, has still managed to cling onto every penny of her reported £22 million fortune, leading me to opine that she’s not just a mediocre singer with a nasty assault conviction, and an everchanging face, puffy hair, and a penchant for engaging in marriage as a pastime – rather she’s also one very astute financial cookie. I hope the future treats her well.
Making a sex tape is a looney idea! I’m baffled as to why anyone would want to make a sex tape! I mean, okay, Paris Hilton did win an award for her one; but given the amount of so-called conveniently ‘leaked’ celebrity adult movies doing the mainstream media rounds, with Coronation Street actor Shayne Ward’s being the latest one to come under the spotlight, I have to ask, who in their right mind wants to see their own sex face? Not me! However, it was writer Fiona Looney’s calm, ‘I’ve made a sex tape – most people have if they’re honest’ revelation last week on TV3’s Midday – as if the act of making a homemade porno was as ordinary as deciding whether to order a pizza or a curry of a Saturday night – that really floored me. First of all because, er no Fiona, not everyone has starred in the ultimate selfie; I haven’t for one, and two, given the voracity with which revenge porn is now spreading across the world, those who do engage in this kind of, er, narcissistic foreplay, will be, in my view, rendered extremely vulnerable. Now I know the lovely Ms. Looney has been happily married for two
decades to husband Steve, meaning she’s in a loving relationship and most likely very secure in the knowledge she’ll never have to bear the brunt of someone releasing her most private moments into the spotlight. That said, having actually viewed an episode of her self-devised ‘Celebrity Bainisteoir’ TV series, I’m feeling secure in my own mind that, should Fiona’s sex tape ever accidentally enter the public domain, nothing the writer could create could possibly be deemed to be any more embarrassing or unimaginative than that show.
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Killina Church – change of Mass time Parishioners are advised that Saturday evening Mass in Killina Church has now changed to the earlier time of 7 pm, until further notice. This change is with effect from this coming Saturday, 29th of October.
Jumble Sale, cake sale and walk! A jumble sale and cake sale will take place on Friday, 28th of October in McDonnell’s Centra, Strokestown at 10 am in aid of Mayo/Roscommon Hospice. There will also be a fundraising walk this Bank Holiday Monday, 31st of October from McDonnell’s Centra carpark, Strokestown. Registration from 9 am, walk commences at 10 am. Admission will cost €10. Complimentary tea, coffee and sandwiches served afterwards.
‘The Two Loves of Gabriel Foley’ for Elphin! The Acorn Players from Leitrim are staging their highly-acclaimed 3-Act Comedy ‘The Two Loves of Gabriel Foley’ by Jimmy Keary on Friday, 4th of November at 8.30 pm in the Elphin Community Centre. This play has been staged in many venues all over Ireland in front of packed theatres and always finishes with a standing ovation. Come along and enjoy the craic.
Halloween Drama Show Dochas/St. Francis ADS would like to invite you to their Halloween Drama Show on Thursday, 27th of October at 11.45 am in Glenamaddy Community Centre. Refreshments will be served afterwards and handmade Christmas cards will be for sale. Your support would be greatly appreciated. All are welcome.
Glenamaddy Community School’s ‘West Side Story’
Writer and producer, Fiona Looney.
Glenamaddy Community School presents ‘West Side Story’ from Thursday 27th-Saturday 29th of October at 8 pm in the Town Hall Theatre, Glenamaddy. Admission will be €12/adult and €8/child. Bookings by contacting 094 9659315.