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Roscommon People Friday 22 January 2016
NewsPeople
From My Kitchen Table When Jerry met Rupert ... and how there’s hope for all you lads! MIRIAM KERINS
M
eeting yer fella’s mammy for the first time can be very daunting for any prospective wife; especially when it comes to being scrutinised by d’mammy; and we all know that for some Irish blokes, their relationship with their mammy is so strong it can sometimes border on the Norman Bates syndrome with the pair of them often going around hugging each other like they were ‘must have’ fashion accessories. However, for newly-engaged Jerry Hall, that particular fly in the ointment certainly won’t be a concern because I’d say, given the age gap between herself and her new beau), d’mammy will be well and truly out of the picture. You see, from hanging out with, and being engaged to, the uber-cool Bryan Ferry and being the partner of old rubber lips himself, (no she wasn’t the wife, remember that high profile Bali ‘wedding’ to Mick Jagger was ruled to be ‘not legally binding’ by a court) it seems the beautiful Texan drawler, former Vogue model, fashion muse and firm fixture on the celebrity social scene, Jerry Hall is about to become media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s fourth wife. Well now lads, if that doesn’t make you want to ditch the gym, forget about the healthy diet, the anti-wrinkle creams and the face lifts… To stop holding in your beer bellies, and oh, while you’re at it, cancel your prescription for Viagra because it appears in order to net a dacent lookin’ woman all you need is, no, not a full head of hair, but a healthy bank balance because yes, in this cash-strapped day and age, methinks money is most definitely a magnet. Ah sure maybe I’m just jealous and maybe Jerry is the independent, down to earth kind who is not looking for a piece of the pie because, as we all know she’s got her own wealth…even if it does only come via her so called ‘modest’ settlement from her split with Jagger; it’s clear that, due to Hall’s union with her new ‘sugar daddy’ she will never be forced to face the problem that is poverty or homelessness and good luck to her; she makes for a very credible ‘sugar mamma,’ and besides, who knows, they may actually really love each other. At 84, Murdoch is rumoured to enjoy
Western Alzheimers introduce day care at Fourmilehouse Western Alzheimers is delighted to introduce Day Care at Cuan Mhuire Day Care Centre, Fourmilehouse. Situated in a tranquil setting, the centre is safely located just off the main Roscommon to Boyle road on the N61. The centre will have access to amenities in the local community, which boasts its own shop, community centre, school and church within safe walking distance of the centre. Day Care will run initially on Fridays from 9.30 am to 4 pm. The price is €12. To access day care contact Western Alzheimers Roscommon 090 6627816 where further information is available and assessment can be arranged.
Calling all creative writers
Newly-engaged couple Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch.
the company of strong women, so now we have this merger with the 59-year-old Hall, whom, let’s face it has definitely earned her place at the top of the rock chic royalty list. At this time I think it’s prudent for me to remind the aging minted magnet that even though his intended has, in her own words, “gone out with younger men and they’re great fun, they’ve got enthusiasm,” the lady, who appears to have cultivated a stable of studs, might just be what the doctor ordered for a man who kinda resembles an elderly hamster emerging through a time warp backwards. Now look, I’m not saying Murdoch doesn’t have a great personality and a hilarious sense
of fun, and of course, his prowess as a savvy businessman is well documented (cue the prenup) but seriously, while most octogenarians often find it difficult to raise their little finger, let alone the ability to have a willing, younger and hot companion on standby to mop their drool, polish their bald heads, mash and strain their food before they dine – and choose their nursing home when they feel the pressure that comes with counting all those heavy green backs – I will say best of luck, I wish them every happiness, but mind you, I’d say the prosperity part will take care of itself. I’m sure our lovely postman will be dropping my VIP invitation in the letter box any day now.
Nipple piercings: is it worth it? W
ell you’ve all heard of Tupperware parties ladies – to be honest I’ve never been to one in my life – Botox parties – again, never been to one – and underwear parties – been to lots – but if you want to be hip, throw a piercing party. Yes, this week, word reaches me from the Big Shmoke that apparently they’re huge; with nipple piercings being de rigueur for all those who worship at the altar of Planet Fashion. Come to think of it, if I remember correctly, some
years ago celebrities such as Britney Spears, the once virginal teen idol, threw a piercing bash for her flunkies, easing their pain by gifting them with solid gold and silver hearts to dangle from their nipples! Now folks, it seems to me that unless you’re the type who tends to go through boyfriends/girlfriends faster than a hot knife through pure Irish butter and try to outdo your mates in the ‘Most Convincing Performance by a Slut,’ category, then by all means get those dangly bits
painfully pierced because if it’s true that the Romans are rumoured to have started the old nipple piercing fad, inventing it as a convenient place on which to hang their capes; then it stands to reason you’d make a good hat and coat hanger for your conquests. However, before you take such steps, ask yourself the question, why would anyone want to undertake such a risky procedure and inflict such pain on two of the most sensitive parts of their body, all in the name of making a fashion statement?
One hundred thousand Ire-(ish) welcomes W ell we’re over halfway through January folks and with the wonderful occasion of our 2016 Rising celebrations set to enlighten and educate us, last week I had my first encounter with what will possibly be the expected (and welcome) influx of wall to wall Oirish Americans coming home to visit the auld sod of their ancestors. You know the kind I mean, the ‘Ma grandpappy came over here from Ballygobackwards to escape the hunger,” type of hot-air wannabes. And they’re a cinch to spot; dressed in a kaleidoscope of plaid trousers and bomber jackets, expensive
newsbriefs
cameras hanging from necks that display enough chins to fill a Chinese ‘phone directory, whilst conversing in that unique high-pitched nasal screech only audible to dogs.
They’ll be called Martha and Marshall or Chuck and Sindy and they’ll visit every single one of the celebrations, parades and events, ambushing the best spots, placing their overweight axxes smack in front of your whinging brat so that you have to raise him over your shoulders to see the homemade floats that wouldn’t even have passed muster a century ago. Of course you can get your own back when they ask for directions to the GPO in Dublin and send them to your friendly local post office in Roscommon instead.
A workshop for creative writers takes place in Ballaghaderreen Library on Friday, February 5th. Local poet and children’s author Gerry Boland will lead the session, from 10 am until noon, for members and friends of Ballaghaderreen Writers’ Group. This will be an open session, free of charge, for anyone interested in developing their creative writing skills. No booking is necessary – just turn up with a pen and paper on the day! Gerry’s new book of poetry ‘In The Space Between’ will be available to buy. The Writers’ Group meets every other Friday morning in a private room off the Library where participants are offered a series of different prompts to spark fresh writing, which may include poetry, prose, memoir and short stories. The emphasis is on creating new work, with timed writing sessions designed to spark new ideas, which may or may not be shared with others, at each individual writer’s discretion. There is a non-judgmental atmosphere of encouragement and friendship. New members are always welcome, everyone from complete beginners to improvers, to published authors. The next meetings after February 5th are on February 19th, March 4th and March 18th.
Monthly sessions at Hamrock’s Athleague branch of CCE are to hold monthly sessions in Hamrock’s Bar, Athleague, on the last Friday night of each month. There will be a session held on Friday night (29th January), from 10 pm until late. Musicians, singers, dancers, storytellers etc., are all welcome on the night. There will also be a raffle on the night with spot prizes to be won. Come along and enjoy the ceol, caint agus craic.
New women’s group in Castlerea Roscommon Women’s Network are setting up a new women’s group in Castlerea. There will be a meeting in RWN on Thursday (21st January) at 11 am. This will be a social outlet and with various activities which will be decided upon by the group itself. Anyone wishing to take part or to find out more information should attend.
Rathcroghan Visitor Centre nominated for ‘Best Café’ Rathcroghan Visitor Centre has been nominated for the Restaurant of Ireland Awards, under the category of Best Café, and could really use your help! The centre requires votes in order for the nomination to be viewed favourably. So if you have a chance, it would be greatly appreciated if you log on to: www. irishtimes.com/sponsored/restaurant-awards-ireland and type in ‘Rathcroghan Café’, as well as your name and other details. There are prizes for voters also, so you might be lucky.