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was doing and to ask her for help in starting a new life. I had not spoken with her in over a year and was so thankful that she did not hang up the phone on me. I shared with her that I believed the only way that I could get my life together was to move out of Los Angeles and try to go back to school. After a series of phone calls and, yet again, many promises, Mom agreed to give me the financial assistance I needed to attend a college with Tammy in St George, Utah.

Once I arrived there, I thought St. George was a joke. It was a very small town with very small town thinking. I hated it there and everyone knew it. I quickly became known as the drug dealer from LA, which was helpful in some relationships and damaging in others. I still made deals with the group from Salt Lake City.

I didn’t last more than six months in St. George. I convinced Tammy to move back to California with me. I didn’t want to go back to Los Angeles, so we ended up in San Luis Obispo. She attended Cuesta College, and I just told Mom that I did. That lie was very damaging to our relationship.

My first semester at Cuesta, I failed everything. After the first few classes, I forgot which ones I was signed up for and where they were, so I just stopped going. The detailed lies I told my mom when she called were ridiculous. I made up stories about each class’ content and then lied about my grades when the semester ended. It was nuts. I had learned something though. The second semester, I was smart enough to withdraw from each of my classes before the deadline.

My relationship with Tammy lasted only a short time in San Luis Obispo. When my drug use got the best of me, she couldn’t take it anymore. I did not blame her. I stayed out just about every night, leaving her home alone, or, if I was home, we weren’t alone.

People came by at all hours of the night. She didn’t like that I was dealing at the house. She got tired of all of the drug madness, even though I was pulling my life together better than at any — 102 —