Roanoke Gayzette - Pride Issue 2012

The Drop-In Center’s

Roanoke Gayzette Serving the GLBTQ Community of Southwestern Virginia September and October 2012

Volume 5 Issue 5

Pride and National Coming Out Day Two months of Celebration in Southwestern Virginia a or f e ssu PASS i E his rk t AG e Pa p i T l F KS n th nt!

C BA ide i nme Pr tai r to e t En

Roanoke TRANSformation

Drop In, Get Tested Free and Confidential HIV Testing

is a social support group for individuals who no longer identify as the sex they were assigned at birth and have transitioned, are transitioning, or are considering transitioning.

The Drop-In Center 356 Campbell Ave.. S.W. Roanoke, VA 24016 Phone: (540) 982-2437

The 3rd Tuesday of every month 6pm-7:30pm The Drop-In Center 356 Campbell Ave SW Downtown Roanoke.

For more information call 540-982.2437 or email dropncenter@yahoo.com

HIV+ Support Group From 6:00-7:30 pm The 4th Tuesday Of every month.

The Drop-In Center

356 Campbell Ave, Downtown Roanoke

For more information, please call 540-982-2437 or email dropncenter@yahoo.com

ADVERTIZING OPPORTUNITIES The Roanoke Gayzette will be offering ad space for sale in our upcoming issues.

Don’t miss this great opportunity to put your business or organization’s information directly in the hands of your customers!

Contact us to discuss YOUR advertizing opportunities with the Roanoke Gayzette!

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Director Pam Meador pamm@councilofcommunityservices.org Center Manager Ann Sprouse anns@councilofcommuniyservices.org Program Coordinator Mary Leigh Capps maryc@councilofcommunityservices.org Case Manager Gerri Bayer gerrib@councilofcommunityservices.org Project Specialist Emily King emilyk@councilofcommunityservices.org Project Specialist Carl Jones carlj@councilofcommunityservices.org Project Specialist Irene Bethel ireneb@councilofcommunityservices.org Drop In! Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday 9am-1pm & 2-6pm Wednesdays 9am-1pm This newsletter is meant to provide the most up to date information available relating to issues of transgender persons, women who have sex with women, and men who have sex with men. Information presented is not to be considered medical advice, nor does it constitute an endorsement by the Council of Community Services, its staff or volunteers. Medical and treatment decisions should be made with the consultation of a medical professional.

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A Letter From The Editor

Inside this issue:

Another year, another Pride Issue, a million reasons to celebrate our Community. It seems like every year I say (with pride!!) “This is the biggest issue of the Roanoke Gayzette EVER.” Guess what, folks? This is the biggest issue of the Roanoke Gayzette EVER. We are so excited to bring you 36 pages of Pride directly from your own community; all of it was written by people who live their lives right here in the Roanoke Valley.

There is no way we could have made this happen without the creativity and passion of our regular contributors who make every issue of the Gayzette one that we are proud to publish. You guys floor me every time with your amazing columns and we simply wouldn't have a newsletter without you! Thanks for all of your hard work and dedication, your timely contributions and your commitment to being yourselves.

This reason we are always able to brag that the Pride Issue is so ginormous, is that it always includes columns and articles by the Pride Committee (as if they didn’t have enough to do!!) Thanks to the entire committee for their excellent execution, year after year, of the huge undertaking that is Pride in the Park, and for keeping Pride alive in the Roanoke Valley through equally well-planned events all year long. Special thanks to all of you who took the time to write for this issue; we simply couldn’t cover Pride without your contributions. Your previews of what to expect at this year’s festival have me so excited for Pride Weekend!! Finally, I would like to send out almost worshipful gratitude to Brandi Kent who whipped her writers into shape and whipped some non -writers into writers, and, in short, made this one of the smoothest Pride Issues we’ve ever had. She organized and emailed and delegated and kept my email box full of communication, completed articles, and marketing. Girl, I owe you a drink!

This is also the Coming Out Issue! Our newest staff member Gerri Bayer did a fantastic job bringing the two themes together in our feature article, “Pride and Coming Out; It’s All the Same Thing.” It was so exciting to have someone who came in and was so pumped about writing for the Gayzette. We certainly are proud to be able to feature “our newbie” in this, our perennial favorite issue.

In the spirit of Coming Out, I would just like to say, if you are sitting in a closet (literally or figuratively) reading this, I’m glad it found you. If you can’t come out now, I get that. I think it is something you should do in your own time, but I do hope you get the opportunity to because it is one of the most freeing and exhilarating things in life. Whatever acceptance you find around you, I wish you even more acceptance of yourself, because that is the “coming out” that matters the most. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured, though. Your precious life and safety are what should come first. I guess the best advice I can give you is the best advice that was given to me: “Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.” But just know there is a wonderful, proud community here to welcome you and walk with you on your journey.

Happy Pride and Coming Out Issue, Roanoke!!! ~emily

Page 5 Pride & Coming Out

By Gerri Bayer Page 6 This Year’s Pride Theme

By Brandi Kent Page 7 Pride Updated

By Brandi Kent Page 9 Along the Yellow Brick Road Meandering with Joe Cobb Page 10 A Cartoon by Louie Page 11 Dear World, Meet Cheryl

By Cheryl Lee Page 12 Roanoke Pride Casino Night and Auctions by Leslie Miller Page 13 Love Makes a Family

By Blair Celli Page 14 Roanoke Pride Pageants Changing of the Guard by Barbra Maberry Page 16 4Pride by Dewey Goodwin Page 17 How Strong is Your Heart?

By Bobbie Stewart Page 18 Adult Beverages at Roanoke Pride Festival by Leslie Miller Page 19 Backstreet’s Page Page 21 Twunny With Bunny Page 23 Destiny by Rachel Maclean Page 25 Celebrate your Holy Union or Marriage at Pride by Joe Cobb Page 26 Roanoke Diversity Center Update

By Frank House Page 30 Notes from the Condom Lady Page 32 The Park’s Page

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Pride, Coming Out; It’s All the Same Thing By Gerri Bayer This has been an exciting year for the GLBT community; a change in marriage laws in many states, the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” for people in the military and more gay, lesbian, transgendered families are raising children. As a group, we are being courted by a presidential candidate. Some of those things would have been unthinkable even 25 years ago.

“Pride in the Park” is almost upon us. The ‘Pride’ celebrations in hundreds of cities in the U.S. and more in the rest of the world have given the GLBT community visibility on the world stage. So, in some very significant ways, the work that we have both personally and publicly and the courage we’ve shown in persistently being there is beginning to pay off.

It’s beginning to look like we’ve arrived.

But, as the people in the racial equality movement will tell us, ‘getting there’ isn’t ‘there now’.

There is further to go. We’ll be done when no-one stares at two men holding hands in public, when people can buy and wear the clothing expresses who they are without condemnation, when the safety of everyone’s job is based on competence, when everyone can get married everywhere.

Here’s a wave of our collective rainbow feather boa to the people who have worked so hard and so courageously to

help us get what we’ve gained.

And there’s another wave for the people who have personally ‘come out’ and for all of us who’ve attended ‘Pride’ events.

We think about ‘Pride in the Park’ in August and September and National Coming Out day in October. These events are 2 sides of the same coin.

The Pride celebrations in New York, San Francisco, Washington, D.C. and here in little ol’ ‘Noke explain who we are as a community. It shows how diverse we are, how we are EVERYONE. It shows that GLBT people can conquer hate, fear, discrimination and denial and still live joyfully.

The changes we’ve worked for brought others. Here at home, our historically gay clubs are struggling because many of us have mainstreamed. Many of us feel comfortable socializing everywhere because we are less afraid and more accepted. We go out to dinner, to the movies, dancing, and parties. We bring our partners, kids, friends and animal companions. Sometimes, we’re affluent people with disposable income, courted by advertisers and social media. Sometimes, we’re poor. Again, we’re everybody.

Still, many of us can’t, for one reason or another, be honest about every facet of our lives.

Being gay, lesbian, transgendered or bisexual causes some of us to be physically attacked, become unemployed, lose our housing, and get distanced from PAGE 5

our families. So, some of us make the valid choice not to take that risk. It is, for some people, a dangerous thing to do.

Coming out is a gay pride celebration for one. We reveal our personal, private selves to family and friends. It’s letting others in on your secret. Lots of folks agonize over the process, only to have the person they’ve come out to say “Okay.

And?” Often, our gay, lesbian, bi and trans identities are a secret only to us. Everyone else seems to know and it’s alright.

The process of revealing ourselves individually is as important to the GLBT community as the NYC Pride parade. There are so many reasons to do it, all of them as good for you as vitamins. The biggest reason is comfort with your own self in your own skin. You won’t need to fib, alter pronouns or edit where you spend your Friday nights. You can stop keeping track of who you told what to.

Friends and family get to love precisely who you are and for better or worse, you do, too.

Another reason to come out is to challenge the prejudices of other people. Once these biased folks know how kind, sweet and adorable you are, it becomes harder to harbor meanness toward a whole group of sweet, kind and adorable GLBT peeps… Seriously, people who have a GLBT friend or family member are more likely to support same=sex parenting, gays in the military or same sex partners.

(Continued on p. 28)

Educate, Liberate, Celebrate

By Brandi Kent Sometimes themes are just themes. But sometimes, they do mean mean more. This year, after much debate, Roanoke Pride chose “Educate, Liberate, Celebrate� as our theme. We considered several other themes but kept coming back to this one. Each word of the the theme really meant something to us. Educate. We need to help educate people in our communities on several levels. Many people have inaccurate perceptions of the LGBT community and of its individuals. The only way to rid people of these perceptions is to educate. We must be visible and open about who we are. We have to make them understand that we are their brothers, their sisters, their neighbors, their coworkers, the person who says hello to them on the street. We are the emergency workers, police officers, and their doctors and nurses. We are normal everyday people. We also want to educate others in the LGBT community. We want acceptance that we are our own community but also part of community as a whole. We might not always understand each other but we must strive to learn about each and accept each other. Educate is also important to Roanoke Pride as we seek to start a scholarship for first time and returning students. Liberate. We want to encourage everyone to be free. We need to be liberated from the ideas and the stereotypes that are holding back our community. We are more than this. We are human beings and families. All we want is the freedom to be who we are. Celebration. We must celebrate who we are. The joy of Pride in the Park and many of the other events that Roanoke Pride organizes is that we can be who are without fear. We celebrate who we are. This celebration is needed in order to liberate because without truly embracing who you are you can never truly be free.

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Pride Update

By Brandi Kent www.roanokepride.org Sometimes we forget that Roanoke Pride is a volunteer organization. Every event is planned and executed by volunteers. It is an enormous task but we do so with love and dedication because we want to give back to our wonderful community. I want to take this opportunity to thank all those who are involved with Roanoke Pride. We need all of our volunteers to make our events happen. No matter if you can come to our monthly meetings or just volunteer to help at one event; we appreciate you. Every event is a success only due to the efforts of our volunteers. I and the rest of the Board of Roanoke Pride want to sincerely thank you. I especially want to thank those who make up the Roanoke Pride committee and board. It takes a lot of hard work and planning to put on the our events and your time is sincerely appreciated. We work all year long but I think we are making our community better and I can't think of a better way to spend my time or better people to spend my time with.

Our volunteers plan lots of events during the year. Did you miss some of these great events that Roanoke Pride organized during the year? We have had some amazing new and returning events this year and we still have some great events planned. In April we hosted Community bowling along with the Roanoke Diversity Center and the Drop in Center. Everyone had a lot of fun eating snacks, bowling, and hanging out. In May we had the Star City of the South Benefit.

This was a hoot as contestants

competed with a country theme.

In May we also had our first wine tasting event at Amhrein's Wine Cellar. It was a great way to spend time with friends while relaxing with a nice glass of wine.

We also had our 1st annual Cookout and Field Day. You really missed a fun day if you didn't make it to this event sponsored by the Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge, The Drop in Center, Roanoke Diversity Center, Roanoke Pride, and the Ladies of the Blue Ridge. It truly was our community coming together to eat and play games. The egg toss was deadly and the minute to win it games were fun and hilarious.

In July you had an opportunity to sample some of our local talent while getting a preview of the entertainment for Pride in the Park all while supporting the Roanoke Pride Scholarship Program. Sierra Christine, The Off Brand, Kymistri Science, Amanda Stathos, and Rodney McAllister put on a great show. We have to thank Backstreet Cafe for hosting the event. The Backstreet is a great place to go have a beer and hang out with your friends.

In August we had two great events. The Roanoke Pride Pageant found a theme of an Affair in White and a new location at the beautiful Charter Hall in Downtown Roanoke. We bid farewell to last year's title holders and welcomed four new people to the Roanoke Pride family. Thank you to the Park for having an afterPageant show. We also began another new event in a new location. So often we forget that Roa-

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noke Pride actually serves the community in more than just the Roanoke Valley. We decided to have an event in the New River Valley. In August we held Pride at the Lake at Claytor Lake. People gathered to participate in the many outdoor activities available at Claytor Lake State Park and to socialize.

Many great events have occurred this year but we also don't want to forget that Roanoke Pride has three more wonderful events scheduled for you. On September 16th please join us for Pride in the Park in Elmwood Park. We have some great performers including Justin Utley, Pepper Mashay, Don't H8, and the Sexual Side Effects. It is definitely a don't miss line-up this year. Also, you don't want to miss the parade at 12pm. We have a lot of groups marching this year.

Even if you don't want to march, come out and show your support by watching the march and cheering everyone on. On October 6th we have the Roanoke Pride Casino Night with Live and Silent Auction. We are shaking up our annual dinner auction with some casino action. We will still have an auction but you can also participate in poker, roulette, and blackjack. There will be excellent food and fun to be had. Our last event of the year is the New Year's Eve Gala. This year we have a Masquerade theme.

Come join us at the Sheraton Hotel and ring in the new year!

We need volunteers for all these events. If you are interested please email bobbie@roanokepride.org. Also feel free to join us every second Wednesday at the Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge at 7pm. We always appreciate the help!

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Along the Yellow Brick Road: Meandering with Joe Cobb Coming Out: A Life-long Journey

by Joe Cobb In his book, Coming Out as Sacrament, Chris Glaser says that “Coming out is a lifelong process, not only because there are always new people to whom the sacred in our lives may be revealed, but also because overcoming all impediments to celebrating our “holiness” requires a lifetime…”.

I began coming out when I began realizing, accepting, celebrating and telling the truth of who I am. I was thirty-five when I realized that who I am and who I was pretending to be were no longer compatible. My inner battle was deteriorating my soul, my body, my heart and my mind, and was eating away at my relationship with my spouse and my family. I was depressed, unable to function, and it seemed, incapable of seeing myself as someone of beauty and worth and love.

My coming out was not convenient in my life or the lives of those around me, but it was necessary to me living.

My first step in coming out was realizing that I need to be honest with myself. I am often asked, “When did you know you were gay?” My earliest memory is of a trip I took with my family to Texas to visit my uncle who was in the play

There’s a Girl in My Soup. When we arrived, we met his roommate, a tall, handsome man, wearing a denim shirt and jeans.

He had thick curly brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, and, as I remember, beautiful feet. I was ten years old. I don’t know of many heterosexual boys who remember details of a beautiful man.

officially “come out”, a long-time friend from Atlanta, Georgia, said, “Joe, you’re in the south. You need to have a debutante ball.”

And so I did. For my forty-first birthday, some neighbors let me use their house for a debutante’ ball and I dressed in the finest gown I could find, and had a ball.

Celebration is significant in remembering who we are.

I remember that my sisters were all over him, wanting to sit as close to him as possible. I remember that I, too, wanted to sit next to him, as close as I could.

My Grandma, who was always wielding a camera, took many photos of that trip, and carefully placed in a photo album she made for me is a photo of me sitting next to him. This is a treasure that I keep close to this day.

My fourth step in coming out, which is really interwoven with the first three, is telling the truth about myself. I spent a lot of years hiding: hiding behind fear, hiding behind uncertainty, hiding behind masks, hiding behind worry. I had to come out of hiding and into the light of new life centered in telling the truth, telling my truth.

When I began my coming out process at thirty-five, this was an early memory that helped me realize the gift of my sexual orientation and attraction to men.

This memory helped me realize that what I felt then, at ten, was an natural as what I was struggling to accept at thirty-five.

My second step in coming out was accepting myself. Accepting myself required a journey of remembering who I am, who I am becoming, and honoring the gifts I bring to this life and the lives of those I share relationship.

My third step in coming out was celebrating myself. After I had PAGE 9

In telling my truth, I realized I was telling my sacred truth. My life is a sacred journey, set apart for a holy, sacred purpose of bringing light into dark places, healing into broken places, and love everywhere. When I tell my truth, and help others tell their truth. When I come out, I help others come out.

May your coming out be a life-long journey of revelation.

Joe Cobb is a writer, pastor, father and spiritual friend along the way. He is co-author, with Leigh Anne Taylor, of the book, "Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through" and is Pastor of Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge in Roanoke.

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A Cartoon by Louie

Dear World, Meet Cheryl.

This article is reprinted from last year’s Coming Out Issue. Please “stay tuned” for Cheryl’s “Live from FemCon 2012” in our next issue!!!

Greggie is one of my most lovely, dearest and deeply intelligent friends.

Today he is also rightly and massively frustrated.

“Cherbear,” because that’s what he calls me, “I’m really tired of all the hate shown toward gays and lesbians, not just in America, but all over the world.

Audiences at Republican debates are booing gay soldiers, and the candidates just stand there allowing all that hate, then talk about how the repeal of DADT is giving some kind of special privilege to gays. The hate is making less and less sense each day, and yet it's still there. How do you reconcile living in a civilized country, when those that want to be in charge and their supporters are living in the dark ages? It's hard to remain positive…Will it really get better?”

I wanted to respond with lyrics from Bette Midler’s “I’m Beautiful, Dammit,” but tried going the intellectual route instead. I got so depressed and negative; I should have stuck with Bette.

I think we all totally get what he’s saying. This is the intellectual Dark Age, and we know how it feels to be hated in one’s own home(land). Maybe I just don’t really consider America to be as civilized as we like to think we are in the first place (at least not in terms of human rights), and so I survive the same way I did as an out and loudmouth teenage queer: No matter what happens, I don’t ever forget to dance!

Find something, anything, to celebrate.

Let’s take it to the streets, and look cute doing it. That’s who we are.

It’s almost National Coming Out day, and Greggie, I swear things are getting better. If y’all need some encouragement in this political climate, just look at

the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

For 17 years, our country required honest queer people to lie about their sexual orientation in the name of National Security.

America searched their private property for proof of homosexuality (despite being told not to ask), and threw over 14,000 gay service members out, calling some “unfit to serve.” These are the ones that we know of, the ones brave enough to come forward to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.

As of this writing, we’re not even one week into the change yet, and things are already happening as a result: · The day of the repeal, 101 queer soldiers came out in print (identified by name, rank and duty station) in a special DADT issue of OutServe Magazine, a publication for GLBT soldiers that up until now had to be completely anonymous. In this issue, the once nameless publishers came out alongside their fellow service members. · A press conference aired live on TV featured currently serving GLBT service members coming out, also identifying themselves by name, rank, branch of service, and sexual orientation. · Some queer service members discharged under the act have already reenlisted. · Over 3 million people have watched a video on YouTube of a gay service member stationed in Germany coming out to his dad in Alabama on the day of the repeal, showing people around the world the intimate feelings and struggles with coming out that many gays experience.

How many others have come out, not on YouTube, live TV, or in OutServe, but in their own circles of friends, family, coworkers or commanders? How many GLBT people, as a whole, are now able to come out as a result of this already momentous year?

Things are changing for all of us. Now what? How do we make things better?

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My answer? As much as we can, we collectively come out, queers and allies together. We support each other. We throw off the fear and we take it to the streets. I wasn’t able to attend, but I loved the Facebook pictures of the Roanoke Pride March. I got chased down Church Avenue once, and it was divine to see all of you taking back our streets. Let’s keep speaking out!

Make National Coming Day 2011 a day of celebration! The Human Rights Campaign website has a great list of events for coming out day, such as: hold a speak-out or rally; come out to your elected officials; set up an information table; hold a book drive; sponsor a film or cultural festival (how fun would that be?); or hold a queer prom, dance or party (my personal favorite). They also have a Facebook App for people to donate their statuses for National Coming Out Day. They have lots of templates to choose from, but I chose the make your own option, such as: I am queer and I am coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality this National Coming Out Day because too many of us still can’t.

I am queer and I am coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality this National Coming Out Day because we need to connect and get to work! There’s a new generation coming behind us. What are we going to give them?

I am queer and I am coming out for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality this National Coming Out Day because people told me I couldn’t. I can, I did, and it’s AWESOME. You know Greggie, I think maybe it does get better…if we make it better.

Happy Coming Out Day, y’all!

Roanoke Pride Casino Night with Live and Silent Auctions

By Leslie Miller Every year in October Roanoke Pride holds its annual Fundraiser Dinner and Auction.

This serves as the MAIN fundraiser for the Roanoke Pride Festival and other events throughout the year. This year we are trying to freshen it up with hopes to draw more participation! Mark your calendars for October 6, 2012! We will once again hold this important event at the beautiful St. John’s Episcopal Church near downtown Roanoke. This year’s event will include a Casino! That’s right a casino complete with dealers and chips! We will offer Texas Hold’em, Roulette, and Black Jack tables! Tickets for this once a year event are only $25!

Patrons will receive a set value of chips with the purchase of their ticket and can buy back in

for more chips as often as they like…this is after all a fundraiser!

While everyone is enjoying the casino tables our customary silent auction will be going on simultaneously and heavy hors d’oeurves will be served. As the casino tables wind down we will start our live auction and a light dinner buffet will be available. We are happy to announce that our head chef from last year Christina Butler will be back to tempt our taste buds once again! We are also excited that last year’s handsome auctioneer Charles Richards will return to keep the live auction interesting!

This will be a fun upscale themed fundraiser and we hope everyone will want to partici-

A support and social group for GLBTQ youth.

Meetings: 1st & 3rd Sundays of every Month 5pm-7pm Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge For more information, contact roanokedestiny@gmail.com PAGE 12

pate! After all we could not fund the Roanoke Pride Festival without this event! We gladly accept cash, credit, and checks for auction items; however, our bar is cash only!

Please visit roanokepride.org for more details and to buy your tickets online before they sell out! We will only have a minimum amount of tickets for sale at the door! If you wish to donate an item or twenty to the auction please speak with a Pride Committee member or email auction@roanokepride.org. For food accommodations such as allergies please email rosechef124@gmail.com.

We look forward to seeing you there and dressed to kill!

Love Makes a Family

by Blair Celli I admit it. I get excited in June for Pride month and wait all summer for Pride here in Roanoke. I wonder what new Pride gear my kids will wear (my poor, poor wife) and think about how every year there seem to be more and more children at Pride in the Park. It makes my heart swell a little to know that we are here, creating families, being families and living.

I once had a disagreement with friends that deeply struck a chord with me. They were leaving the area to start a family because they just didn’t feel like their children would fit in here and a sinking suspicion that it wouldn’t be safe, that their children would be bullied for having a two mommy family. When I told them that my partner and I were intent on staying here and raising our children, they said: “You’re so brave! We could never do that!”

My heart broke a little but I simultaneously heard a challenge in that conversation. I remember my resolve:

I will be proud of who I am and how my family is made up.

I will not run from adversity, I will educate my way out of it.

I will be brave and unwavering and I will show my children families of all kinds.

I will be a positive force in this community, gay and straight alike, and change minds.

My life is like your life. I will show this world how normal and happy we can be.

There was an article on the HRC not long ago about being Out. How important it is to live like you aren’t ashamed of who you are. How the best thing we can do for ourselves to advance Gay Rights is to be visible. A call to ‘normalize’ the lifestyle and show people – all people – that gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual people are visible, present, and in their every day lives.

The more we are seen, the more we are accepted and the more we remove the fears of others.

You’ve heard the adage before: People fear what they don’t understand. So we must make ourselves understood.

Be Proud. Because being proud of who you are helps us all.

I find that the more people I invite into my life, the more thanks I get. People randomly tell me in a surprised voice just how normal my life is. Of course it is!

We scramble in the morning to find shoes and get the kids out the door on time, I work a full schedule at a large local company and then take off across town to get my kids, speed home and try to put a nutritious dinner on the table. After bedtime, my wife and I plop down on the couch to snuggle and catch up on each other’s days and yawn PAGE 13

until bedtime. Life is normal.

My life is like your life, your life could be my life. I live. You live.

(That’s not to say that I don’t worry. All parents worry. I think worry is actually a sub-definition of the word “Parenting”.)

I don’t think we’re being brave.

I think we’re being a family. I know that if I live, I am showing this world in some small way that my life is valid. I am proud of my family. I am proud of my wife. I am proud that we are raising adorable twin boys in this Blue Ridge Mountains.

Happy Pride! See you in September! (Those cute little boys dancing in front of the stage wearing Pride t-shirts will probably be mine.)

Blair Celli has always lived by the philosophy: "Bloom where you're planted" and has been growing in Roanoke since 1999. She is excessively positive and optimistic about the world around her. She shares her life with her partner of ten years, their twin boys, and many furry creatures.

Roanoke PRIDE Pageants Changing Of The Guard

By Barbara Maberry An Affair in White was the theme for the Roanoke PRIDE Pageant 2012, which was held on Aug 10, 2012 at Charter Hall in beautiful downtown Roanoke. This year found the pageants directed by the three Co-Chairs, Barbara Maberry, Michelle Trent and Dolly Davis, who located 10 contestants for the competition. The evening was candle-

and we thank Maccon and Southern for their presentation.

The judges included David Bryant (Mr. Don’t H8 2012 and Promoter for NC EOY), Gloria Murray (Seamstress to the stars), Amy Adams (Miss Unlimited Lipstick 2011), Nicolette Stevenz (Miss Pride 2008), and Preston Florez (Mr. Roanoke PRIDE 2008). To support producing the fairest of contests, Erika Joyner, of the Ladies of

year representing the utmost in PRIDE of the greater Roanoke area and Roanoke PRIDE in the Park. Maccon and Bunny worked together in their fundraising on a special pageant project to promote new entertainers with the Star City of the South pageant. Southern Comfort assisted the PIP committee in this summer’s Annual PRIDE Cookout and produced LOVE LINKS, which is made of paper links to form a chain around PIP grounds. Rodney hosted a Pasta Party at his home as his fund raising event, where the Mr. R o Dam anoke P R i-on Kob IDE ane

E ke PRID o n a o R Miss aze Laiben H

lit and the audience wore white attire as they celebrated the “changing of the guard” from 2011 to 2012 for a new direction of this pageant system.

The evening began by our first married titleholders, Maccon Haze and Southern Comfort, performing “Imagine” with a message to imagine a world with no prejudice, pain or condemnation with everyone attempting to promote love, tolerance and acceptance. This special message further suggested the true meaning of what PRIDE should include

the Blue Ridge, and William Noble Millikan III of Greensboro, NC, graciously agreed to be the score tabulators for the contest.

The Court of the Royal Family is growing with the excellence as the 2011 titleholders were welcomed this year after completing their reign as they were honored in the walk of our formers. On this night, Miss Roanoke PRIDE F.I. – Bunny Flingus, Miss Roanoke PRIDE – Southern Comfort, Mr. Roanoke PRIDE M.I. – Maccon Haze and Mr. Roanoke PRIDE – Rodney McAllister finished an incredible PAGE 14

“chef” whipped up pans of tasty fares.

As you can see, these folks worked hard to make their commitments to PIP a reality.

Edna’s Gifts from Happy’s Flea Market was the official jeweler of the pageant, providing the 2012 court with jewelry sets and lovely jewelry to be used as the door prizes for the evening. The Roanoke Diversity Center also provided tickets to the upcoming film festival and Roanoke PRIDE in the Park gave tickets for the OCTOBER Auction Dinner for the au-

dience door prizes. In other words, there were no losers whether onstage or in the audience. Ladies of the Blue Ridge hosted Lisa, a formal photographer who shot gorgeous 5x7 pictures and baked and made food items as a fund raiser for their organization. Suzanne Ashley of The Freedom Tribe provided a gift and set up a table to present her on-line card company for convenience of mailing cards for patrons.

As the anticipation rose and the evening came to a conclusion, the conM.I. e PRIDE k o n a o Mr. R e ece C-Lo Pr

CJ), and Mr. Roanoke Pride – Dami-on Kobane (1st Alt – Alix Laree). The winners were rushed from Charter Hall for their debut performances as Roanoke PRIDE Winners in a Mini show at the AFTER PRIDE PAGEANT PARTY at The Park nightclub. All of the PRIDE titleholders and their 1st Alternates will be featured on stage on September 16, 2012 at PRIDE IN THE PARK. We would like to express

The Drop-In Center wishes the newest members of PRIDE Royalty

CONGRATS on a job well done and the Miss R oanok Bianc e PRIDE F. a Bak I. er

testants gathered on stage to name the Royal Court. The category winners and 1st Alternates were named for each division and the titleholders’ names were next. Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Roanoke PRIDE Pageant titleholders for the next 365 days include: Miss Roanoke PRIDE F.I. – Bianca Baker, Miss Roanoke PRIDE – Laiben Haze (1st Alt – Laken Haze), Mr. Roanoke PRIDE M.I. – C-Lo Preece (1st Alt – King Lil

our appreciation to the contestants, judges, audience and countless volunteers who made this event occur!!! So, as you can see, Roanoke PRIDE Pageants made some changes this year and is promised to make many more before 2013…so if you’ve never contemplated competing for us before….keep watching and speak with your 2012 titleholders….EDUCATE, LIBERATE and CELEBRATE!!!

PAGE 15

BEST OF LUCK for your coming year representing your titles & Roanoke Pride!!

Invariably, during the course of the year, members of the community will come to us and say, “What can I do to help Roanoke Pride?” The answers are many, and include joining the committee, assisting with fund-raising, volunteering at events, but the one that gets the least amount of attention, is becoming a Friends of Roanoke Pride member.

What is Friends of Roanoke pride? People have asked this question time and time again. Friends of Roanoke Pride was an individual sponsor program to help keep “Pride in the Park” free. With a $25 donation you got a special pin that had that year’s logo on it;

Written by Dewey Goodwin

your name was also included in a list of donors on our official website.

This year we decided to revamp Friends of Roanoke Pride and create something that is not only bigger, but gives members larger rewards for joining...and thus 4Pride was born.

4Pride was also created because with every passing year, Pride grows larger and more costly. We try to give the LGBTQA community in Southwestern Virginia, the largest annual celebration which is dedicated to each and every member of our community.

4Pride enables us to use the monies that are col-

lected and give even more back to the community. At the 23rd annual Pride in the Park, we will be unveiling our new scholarship program. Additionally. we will be able to bring more entertainment to Pride in the Park and put on even more events for the community. In the future, you will see a lot more to Roanoke Pride and even grander things to come.

As with Roanoke Pride, Friends of Roanoke Pride has grown. Instead of one level of membership, as in the past; 4Pride provides three separate membership levels, providing even better rewards than before.

4PRIDE MEMBERSHIP LEVELS

FRIEND memberships is the basic membership. Incentives include a wristband, “Friend” membership card which gives you a 10% discount on events and special Pride merchandise. You will also have the option of having your name on our donor list at RoanokePride.org. This level maintains the original donation fee of $25.

With the higher two memberships we added a family level, which doubles the rePAGE 16

wards you receive.

BESTFRIEND membership is the mid-level membership with a donation of $75(Family $125) This level includes a membership card giving you 15% off Pride merchandise and events, one free admission to a pride event and a wrist band. You will also have the option to have your name included on the Roanoke Pride website.

VIP memberships is the highest membership level. This

level provides special privileges at events, a VIP area at Pride in the Park, a VIP wrist band and 20% off events and merchandise with your membership card. Additionally, all Pride events are free to you, and you have the option of bragging rights with your name listed on RoanokePride.org, all for $150($225 Family).

Are you 4PRIDE? Join today and feel the magic of pride.

How Strong Is Your Heart?

By Bobbie Stewart Volunteer Coordinator, Roanoke Pride You may be familiar with the quote; “Nothing is stronger than the heart of a volunteer.”

It is a powerful statement dating back to April 18, 1942 by Lt. Col. James H. Doolittle. President Franklin D Roosevelt awarded the Medal of Honor to Lt. Col. Doolittle not only for the leadership he provided to his allvolunteer based crew as they invaded Japan but also for his willingness to step up and volunteer himself in a top secret mission that could have potentially led to his death.

As a former member of the Armed Forces, more specifically the Army, I volunteered for one of the largest associations in the United States. I experienced everything from heartbreak to sheer pride being affiliated with such a highly acclaimed organization. It takes courage and bravery to undergo such an endeavor. But it also takes courage and bravery to admit to your family, friends and co-workers that you are not who they thought you were…or expected you to be...that in fact, you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered. This is an entirely different kind of battle that is being fought each and every day.

And having a support system is vital to win the battle.

Roanoke Pride is a non-profit organization that operates strictly by volunteers. The board and committee members give freely of their time to “plan, promote and implement with integrity, accountability and pride, positive and diverse events that are fun, entertaining and educational.”

Roanoke pride accepts sponsorships and/or donations that aid in the facilitation to accomplish such

a mission. We use these funds to provide safe outlets that serve the fellowship and unification of the LGBT community.

The integration of these outlets isn’t possible without the heart and soul of the organization, also known as, our volunteers.

The efforts a volunteer contributes to an organization make a huge impact on the success and achievements of the organization. At Roanoke Pride, we rely solely on our volunteers to operate and incorporate our vision. Simply put… without our volunteers, we absolutely cannot exist!

One’s desire to volunteer may be motivated by a variety of goals and objectives.

The most notable is to help people. In general, people have a natural tendency to please others in order to promote happiness and wellbeing. They seek gratification in supporting and encouraging an individual or a non-profit organization to accomplish a goal.

Others thrive on volunteering for the purpose of fulfilling their own longing to be needed. Volunteering is an incredible way to feel good about yourself.

Being recognized for your achievements in carrying out a civic duty can boost one’s self esteem. You gain satisfaction knowing your involvement made a difference, which in turn results in a healthy pride of self.

Another significant reason to volunteer is to gain skills, experience and knowledge that you can apply towards a college application or career. ColPAGE 17

lege admissions boards and counselors are seemingly impressed with potential students that have devoted their time and energy in successfully contributing to non-profit organizations.

Community activism is acknowledged in the competitive job market as well and may be just the ticket to build your resume in order to stand out above another candidate who may be equally qualified for your prospective position. It’s also a great way to network for future endeavors and/or tangible business transactions.

Some people seek out organizations that they have personal life experience or a connection with, such as a cancer survivor may wish to volunteer with the American Cancer Society. Or an artist may choose to volunteer at a museum. Being a lesbian, I decided to volunteer with a Pride organization on the principle of acceptance.

Like most, I lived the majority of my life hiding in the closet. Growing up in the Bible belt where homosexuality was greatly condemned, I was left guilt stricken. I went to church and listened to the Sunday morning messages and I struggled for many years hearing my urges and feelings were immoral. I fought temptations for years. I thought I was a horrible and sinful person. I prayed in repentance on my knees, I fasted, I cried myself to sleep many nights, and I lived a lie.

I joined the Army late in life for several reasons…one being I desperately needed a break from the Bible belt. It was then I stopped listening to what others were saying and started doing my own research. I’m no bible scholar but through prayer, scriptures I have personally deciphered and being silent enough (Continued on p. 28)

Adult Beverages at the Roanoke Pride Festival By Leslie Miller Last year Roanoke Pride took a brave step forward and attempted our first ever beer garden! This was a huge success! So much in fact that we have decided to do away with the “garden” boundaries! This year our of age patrons will be able to purchase their adult beverage of choice and mingle with friends throughout the festival grounds or sit on the hill and enjoy the live entertainment! However, this does mean that we will require fencing around the entire premises of Elmwood Park and there will only be one entry/exit point to the festival. We realize this can be a small inconvenience but in the grand scheme of things it’s a small price to pay!

Last year there was a five drink per person limit. This

year we are happy to share that because everyone was so well behaved we are increasing the limit to eight drinks! Although anyone acting unruly or intoxicated will be cut off and politely escorted out of the park by a friendly local police officer! We remain the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.

We are proud to partner with Bud Light (a new 2012 red level sponsor) to bring you a fabulous variety of beverages!

There is sure to be something for everyone! On tap we will have Bud Light, Bud Light Lime, Michelob Ultra, and Shock Top. We will offer many other varieties of bottles/cans including but not limited to: Bacardi Razz, Bacardi Sangria, Budweiser, Sex on the

Beach, and Long islands! We are thrilled to announce that Barefoot wine is back again this year as a sponsor! We will be offering many of their wines including but not limited to: Moscato, Merlot, Pinot Noir, Pinot Grigio, Red Moscato, Sweet Red, and Moscato Spumante! So pick your poison!

You MUST have a valid state issued driver’s license, state issued identification card, military identification card, or passport to purchase and/or consume alcohol.

There will be NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Each drink ticket for beer or wine will be $5! We prefer CASH as payment but with a $20 minimum purchase, credit or debit cards will be accepted!

We still need volunteers to serve, check ID’s, and sell the drink tickets! If you are interested please email our (Continued on p. 28)

Read the Roanoke Gayzette Online www.starcity247.com

PAGE 18

356 Salem Ave Downtown Roanoke Pool Tournament Wednesdays! Sign up by 8pm Join us for $3 Thursdays!!

Officially kick off your pride weekend at Backstreet Café Thursday September 13th with food and drink specials, contests, door prizes, dancing and music by Richie DJroDiones. No Cover!

Brought to you by Backstreet & Pride Inc. * Free HIV Testing 9p-1a

Open on Pride Sunday at 6pm.

Backstreet Café and The Stonewall Society LGBT Music Services present: Sat. Aug 25th Steve Cohen award winning piano man from NYC

Sat. Sept. 29th Lovari award winning singer/dancer from NYC Saturday Oct. 27th John Esteban Estrada Award winning latin pop/dance/comedy from Austin TX

Sat. Nov. 24th Dan Manjovi Award winning singer/songwritter featured in the film Precious Free Oral Rapid HIV Testing Sept. 13th, Oct. 5th, Nov. 2nd $5 Gift Card to all who test! * Testing by The Drop-In Center PAGE 19

Hey, we found someone who is just DYING to hear your opinion!

Don’t forget to register and vote!

The Drop-In Center has started a food pantry to assist people living with HIV You may drop off donations of nutritious, non-perishable food and household items such as toilet paper, hand and dish soap, and paper towels at The Drop-In Center during our regular business hours; Mon, Tue, Thu, Fri from 9am-1pm & 2pm-6pm and Wed from 9am-1pm.

If you have any questions, please call 982-2437.

PAGE 20

Twunny with Bunny

By Bunny Flingus

Hello Gayzetters…

Over this past year I have been proud to be your Miss Roanoke Pride FI 2011. As my reign comes to a close on August 10th at the Roanoke Pride Pageants, I find myself reflecting on what PRIDE truly means. Combining what I’ve learned through my conversations with others, my observations of how our GBLT community works together and yes… some on-line research (LOL); I have come to the conclusion that there are as many different definitions of PRIDE as there are colors in a rainbow. A better question for me to reflect on would have to be a more personal one. And so your ever inquisitive “girl-about-town” took the new question to some of your favorite GBLT entertainers including a few of your current and former Roanoke Pride title holders. Although they have a common thread, their answers were as diverse as their personalities.

We are, after all, a community of diversity!

Question: What does PRIDE mean… to you?

1. Miss Ledd (Miss Roanoke Pride FI 2009)–To me, Pride is

being true to who you are. Remember… what you believe on the inside will reflect on the out!

2. Kristina Kelly - Pride for me doesn’t come in festivals, parades, or rainbow colored shirts....Pride starts from within....you should be proud of every road that this life takes and when you look in the mirror and you like what looks back at you......that’s where Pridecomes from!

3. Dillon (Mr. Roanoke Pride MI 2010) - Pride to me is being who you are without shame or worrying about what anyone else thinks about you...just living your life to the fullest.

4.Jayda S. Colby-Pride to me is a deeper lover. When you can stand up for what you believe and not be shaken or have your view waived because others around you tell you it’s not right. Take pride in what you do and dedicate yourself to it. Until you have dedicated yourself to at least one great cause, you have not yet begun to live.

5. Mariah O’Riley -Pride, to me, means staying true to yourself and not being ashamed of who you are but also maintaining a sense of self respect and dignity while being yourself. I feel like too many in our community use the word pride as an excuse to be trashy, obnoxious, and promiscuous. That's not what pride is about.

6. Joey Driscoll (Mr. Roanoke Pride 2002)- Pride? Me being me.

7. Bianca Baker - Pride isn't alPAGE 21

ways about the wonderful things you have accomplished in life, but in part the bad choices as well. Without giving a politically correct answer I'm going to invite you into my life, so you can understand what "pride" truly means to me. I've traveled down many avenues in life. I've hit rock bottom and I pushed myself to be a fighter. I won't say survivor because I don't feel like a victim. I've taken pride in turning my negatives into positives.

Now I spend most of my free time volunteering with a local youth group. I mentor young adults to help them "get back on the right path". I volunteer at a local food bank. I fight for equality by rallying with different organizations at my state capital.

I've decided to better myself through working with the uneducated by teaching them that being different isn't bad. Individuality isn't wrong, it doesn't matter what race, sex, or sexual orientation preference you may have.

I'm 31 years of age and I'm proud to say I am an openly gay male with a college degree, I'm a homeowner, I have a wonderful career, and I have been blessed with a supportive family. We have these "it gets better" videos, I am living proof that it does in fact get better.

Throughout most of my life I've battled my weight, I still live in a narrow minded community being openly gay, and I've maintained my life in a rural town in southern West Virginia. So pride to me, is living your life no matter what the circumstances are, remain a loving, caring, understanding, individual, never allow anyone or anything to change who you are. I am very proud to say I have lived, loved, and I continue to learn. Life is truly what we make of it!

8. Nicolette Stevenz (Miss Roanoke Pride 2008) FI- What does Pride mean to me... hmmm... basically, loving who I am no matter what society's conceptions are towards me. Being happy with myself and what I've accomplished as a gay male living in today's society.

9. Crystal Colby - Pride to me is when a young boy is quiet in class, quiet at home and quiet in church because he knows the sound of his voice might give him away. When that same boy tells his guidance counselor that he wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, but in his journal he writes that what he really wants to do is dance. When that boy sees a flyer at his local store for a Pride day and keeps that flyer under his bed. And on Pride day, when he puts on his most comfortable shoes, jeans and the cute new shirt he has been waiting to wear since January; he leaves his house on one side of town to find his home on another, you know what Pride means to him. It means freedom. Pride to me isn't something others can see, it is something that only you can see in yourself... Being proud of who you are and having the freedom to not care about the names in the hallways or the times you get pushed into the lockers because you know who you are and you’re proud of it. Pride in the park for my LGBT youth is freedom for them. Freedom to sneak away from their parents wear whatever they want, whether its new clothes they have been saving all year for the event or it's a pink tutu, wig and ruby red heels.

They can let that person that is inside of them out for everyone to see because with pride comes family!

10. Ashton The Adorable

Lover (Mr. Roanoke Pride MI 2009) -For me, being a soldier, Pride means respect, honor, and duty in yourself, your things and everything around you. Although it’s hard at times, when you do it for the right reasons, you have pride in yourself, the things you do and your friends and family. Do the best you can and be the best you can at the moment.

11. Sharon Husbands- Pride is something that has been instilled with me since birth.

Proud of your job, your accomplishments, your family, and everything you do. I always tell people that "I never started out to be something I wasn't, but being something I wasn't started who I am today." Pride means standing up for what is right... not just right for you; Gay, Straight, TG, Black, White, Orange, it doesn't matter. Striving and earning the qualities to meet your goals and dreams and working towards the bigger picture that those before you have fought, died, lost and done without for... and that is what Pride means to me.

12. Katrina Colby - Pride for me is something that comes from the soul. It's what makes my heart keep beating every day. I take pride in myself, my drag, my friends and family.

13 Sinister Abbey (Miss Roanoke Pride 2006) FI - What does pride mean to me? ... It means, being the best person you can be, and what I mean by that is having a strong moral fiber about yourself, trying to be a hardworking, honest, responsible, decent, loving, caring, human being. I take pride, in leading others by my example of that. If someone is going PAGE 22

down the wrong path, it is difficult for me to not try to help them see that there is a much better path to choose. That’s not me being judgmental, that's me being a friend and wanting what is best for you. Live a life of love and laughter. Treat others in the way you would want to be treated. Pride is one of the 7 deadly sins in that "special" book we all have heard about...the 7 deadly sins: pride, envy, anger, gluttony, lust, greed, and sloth. For me pride is almost necessary to survive, if you don't have pride in yourself, you don't love or believe in who you are, that is no way to live. You have to like the person staring back at you in the mirror, inside and out, regardless, of what part of society may feel about you. The sin of anger, well, sometimes anger is a positive instead of a negative, because anger is sometimes the only emotion that produces needed change in life. Anger can get you into trouble, if you can't control it, but I think the other 5 deadly sins are disgusting, although everyone, including myself end up participating in them eventually during our lifetimes. Ironically, I was presented the crown by the pride counsel, 5 months into the reign of the original winner of 2006, because she was unable to complete her reign. My whole life is about good intentions and helping others...it is better to be a good person than a bad person, be all that you can be, be prideful of who you are. Miss Gay Roanoke Pride 2006, takes great pride in saying turn your life around and live in the light, it's never too late, and (Continued on p. 27)

DESTINY by Rachel Maclean A circular painting of Jesus heralded by a rainbow and a pair of doves hangs over the door of the room where DESTINY: Diversity, Education, and Support To INspire Youth meets every first and third Sunday, and though the group meets in a church, it is not a religious youth group. DESTINY is an LGBTQ youth support group for the Roanoke Valley, and our aim is to create a safe space for youth ages 13-22 to discuss hot topics of the gender/sexual variant community at a national, local, and personal level.

Last October, ten or so people met for the first time in the room with “Rainbow Jesus” above it to plan the LGBTQ youth group we all thought the Roanoke Valley needed. At that point DESTINY didn’t have a plan, a name, or even real members. Ideas were thrown about for a couple weeks; people came and went and some never returned, but eventually we had a name and a mission statement and three golden rules that we still abide by today: no drugs or alcohol in meetings; a confidentiality statement of: “What happens at DESTINY stay at DESTINY,” and that our meetings will remain judgment-free.

DESTINY maintains a regular attendance of around 1215 teens each meeting ranging from sophomores in high school to rising juniors in college. We are also graced by a few adult mentors who facilitate meetings, organize, and guide us through the trials of being LGBTQ youth in our communities.We choose topics to discuss at meetings as

a group sometimes by selecting broad subjects from a fedora or having members volunteer to present on an issue important to them. In the past, we have talked about Coming Out to Family and to Friends; Faith; Safe Sex; Body Image; Relationships; Stereotypes; Gender Roles; Feminism; The Bible’s Real Say on Homosexuality with a guest speaker; Being Trans with guest speakers, and some meetings we simply talk (vent) about our personal experiences with many of these topics.

One member remembers her favorite meetings surrounded the subjects of Gender Identity and the Transgendered community. During those discussions, the group watched a film about gender stereotypes and identity, and then had the opportunity to sit down with a Transgender man and woman to ask questions and learn about their experiences. She says it was, “… something I never thought about before. I never knew how little comments can offend people. I think it made the group more aware of gender identity as something on the same level with the more wellknown sexual orientation.

Meeting with members of the Trans community really helped accurately inform us.”

Another member related, “My favorite meeting would have to be when we discussed body image. It’s something that is discussed a lot on a superficial level, but when we spoke about it and exemplified PAGE 23

on our pros and cons: it was great. That self-evaluation is something that we should all do often.”

During the past year of meetings—some serious and some fun: such as bowling, a few game nights, and occasional (okay: very, very frequent) potlucks—select youth of the Roanoke Valley, both allies and LGBTQ youth, have cultivated DESTINY into a safe-space for teens of all ages to seek support from peers and compassionate adult mentors. A member told me how DESTINY has impacted her in the past year: “DESTINY has given me a place where I feel safe and not judged, not like at my own house and school.” Another, older member says he has appreciated DESTINY because, “It has given me a space not to be a leader, but a listener. A space in which I can listen to the stories of others and reflect on what we have experienced in similarities and differences.”

When I asked two members how they think DESTINY can help teens in the valley, a rising junior in college said, “By being able to hear people speak about their relation to the LGBTQ community, they can begin to understand themselves and those around them when dealing with such a heavy, complex subject.”

The other member, a rising high school senior told me, “DESTINY can help all youth, not just LGBTQ youth, to learn how to love and accept people with all kinds of differences because it’s a place of acceptance and no judgment.”

In the next few months, DESTINY will be supporting some community events around the valley. On September 16th, (Continued on p. 29)

I am PROUD to be a Gay Man of Color I am PROUD to be a Vibrant and Vital Part Of my family And my community.

I am PROUD To GIVE and RECEIVE Love I am PROUD To be a man who Takes care of himself His business And his partner Knowing how to protect myself and my partner from HIV and other STDs is a matter of PRIDE.

3MV

Pride Edition

Many Men Many

A time & a place to think & learn For Gay & Bi Men of Color

September 22, 2012 12pm-4pm

Contact Carl for more info or to reserve your spot.

Call: 540-982-2437 540-904-7907 ( p lease leave voicemail if necessary )

Location: TBA

carlj@councilofcommunityservices.org

$$Cash Incentive$$

PAGE 24

Celebrate Your Holy Union or Marriage at Pride!

By Joe Cobb Pride in the Park is a day of celebration, and beginning this year, Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge will be offering couples the opportunity to celebrate their loving relationships through a Holy Union or a Blessing of Marriage during the festivities!

As same gender marriage is becoming legal in a growing number of states, many couples are traveling elsewhere to get legally married. If your home is Roanoke, this is an opportunity to have a public blessing of your legal marriage. For couples desiring to have a holy union ceremony, this is an opportunity to share in a loving, supportive setting with friends and allies who celebrate same gender loving relationships.

These ceremonies will be offered between 2:00 and 5:00 pm at the MCC of the Blue Ridge Booth at Pride in the Park, Elmwood Park. A Celebration area will be set up, with a decorative arch and small area for seating. Couples can reserve a time before the day of Pride through www.mccblueridge.com or www.roanokepride.org. Rev. Joe Cobb, Pastor of MCC of the Blue Ridge will officiate at the services.

The service will include a welcome, exchange of vows and

rings, an opportunity for family/children to bless the relationship, pronouncement of marriage and kiss. Following the ceremony, each couple will be able to celebrate with a toast (sparkling cider) and cupcakes, a photo of the occasion, and a signed certificate of holy union or blessing of marriage. A suggested donation of $25 is recom-

mended for this celebration.

Additional guidelines include the following: Each couple should have two witnesses present for the ceremony. If two are not available, a representative from MCC of the Blue Ridge will be present to witness. Each person participating must be 18 or older. While the PAGE 25

legal age to marry in Virginia is 16 and persons under 18 must have the legal consent of a parent or guardian, MCCBR is asking that all persons participating be at least 18 and in a relationship with the person they are sharing vows for at least one year. While same gender marriage is not legal in Virginia, ceremonies of holy union and marriage are sacred and honored as such. Couples under the age of 21 should plan to have a conversation with the Pastor prior to the ceremony. Couples seeking to schedule a ceremony the day of Pride will be welcome on a first come, first served basis, depending on time availability.

A schedule will be maintained at the celebration booth. Ceremonies will not be performed for persons who are intoxicated.

These ceremonies are offered in the spirit of sacred worth and respect for all who participate and witness.

For more information on having a holy union or blessing of marriage at Pride in the Park, Sunday, September 16, please contact Rev. Joe Cobb at namastejoe@gmail.com, or call the church office at 540-3444444.

You are reading this just prior to the “23rd Annual Pride in the Park Festival” here in downtown Roanoke. This large, local LGBT event is made possible by a dedicated Roanoke Pride committee whose members work very hard throughout the year, taking care of all kinds of details to make the event the best that it can be, year after year. Congratulations to all their Board officers, their committee members and volunteers!

Congratulations to the Roanoke Diversity Centerfor being the recipients of the "Roanoke Pride Pageant's 2012 Inspiration Award" From their FB page... " The new Inspiration Award was presented to the ROANOKE DIVERSITY CENTER for their innovation and imagination to aspire to serving the GLBTQA community and striving to create a place to serve all people! We are so honored to have these folks in our ROANOKE PRIDE FAMILY!!!

“Congratulations again! The RDC Board members and volunteers are proud to be recipients of this community award.

The RDC is moving forward logically and deliberately and passionately. Our Board of 12 is involved with many areas of our strategic plan. We are still awaiting our 501.c.3 IRS status designation, however we are active in our community promoting the RDC effort with events and other PR efforts, as well as with continued planning in terms of funding/ grants, programming, volunteer

recruitment, and basic research of possible local spaces/locations for our physical center. In that regard, it is our vision to be very visible within the downtown Roanoke area.

During this period, we are discovering what our diverse community is responsive to in terms of events…types, venues, pricing, features etc. Several events have not had the response hoped for including the last RDC Homolatte open-mic event (July 13th), and the RDC – Gay Speed Dating Benefit event July 18th. Both had to be cancelled due to insufficient response. We are learning valuable information aside from what has already been gathered from extensive previous community surveys conducted over the last few years. Some information being gathered is not necessarily consistent with what has been obtained through surveys.

In addition to creating events, the RDC is collaborating with other community entities…

Roanoke Pride, the Drop-In Center, and others to plan and facilitate a wide variety of events to continue this on-going process within Phase II. Our goal is to learn further about our community, to educate our community regarding what the RDC is and where we are in this process, and to gain needed support… new Board members, volunteers, donations, partnerships, resource and service providers, and to discover possible new collaborative PAGE 26

–resource sharing opportunities.

It is estimated that Phase II will end either late this year or in early spring of next year.

The continuance into the final developmental period…Phase III will be contingent on a Board approval process. We are hopeful and optimistic that this effort will continue to fruition, to benefit our diverse community in many ways. The RDC ‘s vision is to support, educate, entertain and empower our community (..and beyond) in a flexible, responsive and effective manner.

The RDC, like other organizations and agencies, is very dependent on support from the community. Indeed it’s continuance rests upon the shoulders of our community, not just a few who are presently active and assisting this effort. The opportunities for your involvement with the RDC are almost limitless. We ask, what is your passion? What is it that you would love to see happen for our community? What passion, talents or professional skills can you offer which might help the RDC effort? We can tell you that we need more subcommittee members for help in the following areas:  PR/Marketing  Social media presence: Website, FB, e-newsletter, communications  Fundraising & Grants  Programming  Volunteer Development- Recruitment/Coordinating  Space & Infrastructure Re-

search Activism – LGBT Issues (Within 501.c.3 rules, in support of RD C’s Mission/ Values) Do you have a passion to see a health related programs, youth programs, elderly support programs etc..? Do you have a special talent and passion for social media-websites,FB, twitter etc?

Do you love creating events and approaching vendors and community resources? Are you a Grant writer who has just a little extra time? The RDC is asking our community…what is it that you have just a little time, energy and passion for, to help the RDC effort? Your commitment can be small on a subcommittee, a onetime commitment to help fund an event, or it can be as large as joining our Board or donating substantial funding or services, or even partnering with the RDC for an event. Please contact us at the contact information below.

Thank you!

The RDC wishes to thank our wonderful new partners, sponsors and donors! We have had numerous personal donations of time, resources/materials, and funds in the last six months and it is helping the RDC effort tremendously. A case in point is our Film Fest event in September.

We are very excited that the Taubman Museum of Art and the Shadowbox Micocinema have graciously offered the use of their venues for this event. Wow! In addition to these two partners, the Drop-In Center has become a valuable partner for this event as well. Other sponsors as of this writing include Roanoke Pride, Send Out Cards, CUPS, Hair by Design, Curry Copy, Norah’s Café, and City Bliss. Individual supporters include 

Charles Richards, Eugene Drayton, Paul Scott, and many others who have contributed funds, time and energy towards the continuance of this expanding annual event. All Partners, sponsors and individual donors will be gratefully acknowledged within the event program guide. If you wish to contribute towards this event (ie…a program Ad or other), or to our upcoming Benefit Fashion Show Oct 13th( see below), or to the RDC general fund, please contact us. Thank you!!

The RDC is very much aware of others in the greater community...our friends and ally’s, who are offering us their help, and believe as we do that a stronger, more empathetic, educated, and respectful regional populace makes for a healthier, happier and more vibrant community for all. Together, yes we can!

Please check out the RDC website for a complete list of events and information about how to get our monthly eNewsletter.

The evolving RDC community website presently includes the following areas:

Current “Roanoke Gayzette” RDC Bkg/Plans/Mission/Updates/ Volunteering-Donating

Community Events Calendar (Submit your event!)

Local Entertainment Links News- Local & National links. Special Announcements -Have something of special interest to our community?

Community Groups/Businesses Groups- Info/Links

Speak Out! – An open mic area. R-H-V LGBT Library Area/inventory links/info etc

Contact Info:

Hotlines

-- Help/support lines and

Roanoke Diversity Center, Inc. 806 Jamison Ave SE Roanoke, VA 24013

links

Frank House (Chair) 540-5372568 www.RoanokeDiversityCenter. com admin@RoanokeDiversityCent er.com https://www.facebook.com/RD C2011 https://twitter.com/RkeDivCtr

New Comers-- New to Roanoke or plan on moving here?

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Resources -- Local, regional and national links

Please visit this new community website and let us know if you have suggestions, information for posting, or perhaps you might have time and talent to help further design and maintain it. Tell your friends to check it out and use it also !

Thank you.

Coming out & Pride (continued from p. 3) Remember how hard it was to figure out sexuality issues when you were an adolescent? If you are out of the closet, you might become a role model for a kid who might be struggling with those awkward issues. You might be helpful to someone who has bought into those negative thing said about the GLBT community. Our young adults are at high risk for suicide because of negative stereotyping from the larger culture around us. Show someone that you can be both happy AND gay.

If you are thinking of coming out yourself, there are a few things that may make it easier for you to do. The big thing on the list is accepting yourself and your uniqueness. You might also prepare yourself by considering where you and who you are telling. For example, if your parents are really religious in a way that doesn’t include gay anything, you might prepare for the big speech by going armed with the name of a supportive clergy member. If you feel you might be harmed, choose the time and your backup carefully.

Give yourself some practice at coming out. For your trial run, tell a supportive and nonjudgmental friend or family member first. Get some practice before you make the big announcement to the world at large.

Remember your audience and their feelings. You have had a little time to get used to the idea of being gay. So let your parents and brothers and sisters get used to it, too. With non-gay friends, you might drop it into casual conversation. You might decide on a more formal conversation. If it’s possible, avoid drama and try

hard not to provoke the people that you are coming out to. Remember to think first about your physical and emotional wellbeing, not about getting even.

Offer what you need people to know and allow them to feel what they feel. For instance, your parents might be upset because they were hoping for grandchildren and are afraid that you won’t have kids. They might be afraid for you because of HIV/AIDS. So do this in a way that’s gentle for you and for them.

GLBT lives, both public and private are at a point of change.

Life for our community is easier than it used to be. But, it certainly isn’t as easy as it could be. We still need to stand up and be counted for our civil rights, marriage equality and the rest of the stuff that straight folk without having to plead. We are getting there and it’s good to be a force to be reckoned with.

We Want YOU!

We’re always on the lookout for more LOCAL interest and we’d LOVE to add some regular contributors to The RoanokeGayzette.

Maybe you’d like to review restaurants or books.. Maybe your life is just so interesting, it must be shared.

If you have an idea for a column or series, be in touch. We would love to hear your ideas and get your thoughts out there for folks to see.

Email the editor at

RoanokeGayzette@yahoo.com PAGE 28

How Strong is Your Heart?

(Continued from p.17) to listen to what God was revealing to me; I found acceptance and love…and a different interpretation of what the bible says and doesn’t say on the matter. I finally realized I can be both a Christian and a lesbian.

And the negative judgment others may pass on me is their problem, not mine.

Through the Repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, I was finally able to come out…to everyone. I did lose some friends and family members in the process but I gained so much more. I gained peace in being me. That’s why I began volunteering with Roanoke Pride…for the acceptance, encouragement, education, awareness, activism and opportunity to serve my own.

It’s because of organizations like Roanoke Pride that I can live freely. And it’s because I want others to share that same freedom that I have committed to continuing my volunteerism with Roanoke Pride. It’s my way of saying THANK YOU to my community of supporters for helping me to be courageous and brave!!!

Whatever your reason or motivation, it’s important to be involved. Supporting a non-profit organization is one of the biggest gifts you can offer your community. But if you make the decision to volunteer, do it diligently. Always keep in mind, the organization depends on you, no matter how small your responsibility may seem. You are important and your capability is the key to any event’s success. Keep your promise of obligation and the benefits you reap will be the biggest gifts

your community can offer you.

So now, it’s up to you… How strong is your heart? If you are inspired to volunteer with Roanoke Pride, please contact me at bobbie@roanokepride.org.

We have many opportunities available and would love to serve with you. To us, you are our chosen family!

TWUNNY WITH BUNNY (Continued from p. 22) that's coming from me the princess of darkness. Overcome sin when it knocks on your door, and you'd be surprised just how much your life will improve.

You'd be so proud of yourself for it; you'd march down any street with your head held high...

14. Julianna Jade -To me, pride means representing your true sense of self regardless of what others may think. Pride means that you are comfortable with who you are and what you represent. One can have a sense of pride in many aspects of their life, but in this issue we focus on gay pride. So in this sense I say I have pride, because no matter how many people may look at me the wrong way, or say something to me, or try to do something, I will continue to keep my head held high and rise above, because I love who I am and the community I represent. THATis Pride.

15. Honey Daniels - PRIDE MEANS BEING HAPPY FOR WHAT YOU ARE NOT WHO YOU ARE… Sometimes pride means thinking more highly of yourself than what is actually real. Sometimes it means being pleased with your accomplishments. Pride in others can be

really annoying. I'm glad I'm not that way. Hahaha!

16. Eva LeStrange (Miss Roanoke Pride 2010)- In the singular sense, pride is a growing acceptance of personal accomplishment and the seat of self-esteem. In terms of the community: pride is a celebration of past achievement and future success and a touch stone of shared love, respect and identity.

17.Enya Salad -"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

JANE AUSTEN, Pride and Prejudice 18. Southern Comfort (Miss Roanoke Pride 2011)- Pride to me means being able to live my life the way I choose and being able to stand up for what I believe in no matter what the cost.

19. Maccon Haze (Mr. Roanoke Pride MI 2011) -Pride to me means: being able to be who I am, which is a strong and capable woman who happens to love another woman. Pride is my hope that the future will change for the better.

20. Bunny Flingus (Miss Roanoke Pride FI 2011) – Since I will be giving up my title in just a little bit and I take every opportunity to appear under Maccon Haze in print, I thought I would end this installment with my answer to my own question. I could write a book here but Sinister already did that, so I’ll sum up my thoughts in one sentence. To me, Pride is the acceptance and acknowledgement of yourself, of your community (past and present) and of your responsibilities to both.

Happy Roanoke Pride!

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Adult Beverages (Continued from p. 18) volunteer coordinator at bobbie@roanokepride.org. All Beer/Wine area volunteers will be given a FREE Bud Light Tshirt to wear while volunteering and keep as a souvenir!

Groups and organizations with three to four volunteers can sign up for the same 2 hour time block and keep the tips they earn to fund their group or organization! All volunteers have to be at least 21 years of age! We look forward to seeing you!

As always, please drink responsibly and NEVER drink and drive!

DESTINY (Continued from p. 23) members of DESTINY will be volunteering at the entrance of Pride in the Park 2012 at Elmwood Park, handing out information about the day’s events.

A few months later,DESTINY members will be running, walking, supporting, and volunteering at the Stand for the Silent 5K on April 29th 2013 at River’s Edge Park. The 5K’s goal is to raise awareness of bullying in America, especially schools.

DESTINY invites all youth, LGBTQ and allies alike, to join us every first and third Sunday from 5-7 at the Metropolitan Community Church at 806 Jamison Avenue Southeast. For more information, look us up on Facebook as ‘Roanoke Destiny.

Notes from The Condom Lady Around Roanoke September is a special time of year…One of my favorite times…Pride month.

Although Pride related events and activities go on throughout the year, there is something special about the third Sunday in September. Maybe it’s the spirit of the festival or the spirit of the folks that attend it; whichever doesn’t really matter; on that given Sunday, we are all family.

That third Sunday each September is something special.

The stage is always full of great entertainment, especially our local cuisine; you know you can get some pride gear from the many vendors; a good hotdog or burger from the MCC food booth; and of course an HIV test.

What else can that third Sunday offer, families out and about and folks just being themselves. I love the fact that my granddaughter and her “bestie” always look forward to that Sunday and that they are there with me to both volunteer and enjoy the day. It makes me feel good that they ask when Pride in the Park is…My granddaughter has been attending since she was old enough that I didn’t have to chase her around the park. I love that these two girls are so open and accepting to everyone and everything…the world could take lessons from two girls, not yet adults.

I wish we lived in a world where tolerance wasn’t the norm but acceptance was.

Nothing makes me angrier than to have someone say, “I have lots of gay friends” or “I have nothing against gay peo-

ple”…GRRRR. I don’t have gay friends…I have friends. I don’t have gay family members…I have family. Why “gay people”…why not just plain ole people.

It is no wonder that so many people, both young and old, struggle with accepting themselves; especially when that acceptance depends on that of their peers, friends and loved ones.

Another thing that totally sends me over the edge is why do people have to “come out” just to be who they are? Why can’t society just accept that Suzie likes girls and Tommy likes Boys and not each other…Why does it have to be so difficult?

If it wasn’t so difficult, there wouldn’t be such high rates of alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, suicide and HIV. If it wasn’t so difficult people could date and marry those they love and are attracted to. If it wasn’t so difficult Tommy wouldn’t feel the pressure to marry Suzie simply because that is what he is suppose to do.

If it wasn’t so difficult people who are so uncomfortable in their bodies and with their gender, could find happiness in their true gender identity. If it wasn’t so difficult…Why does it have to be so difficult?

I can’t change the world (or so I am told) and I can’t change what people believe. I can’t change the mother who brings her son into the center and asks me to make him not PAGE 30

“gay”. I can however explain to her that her son is still the young man she has always loved and help her to understand this is not a phase or a choice. I can help the son understand that he is quite normal, deserves to be loved and provide him support and guidance and yes more times than not a little love.

I wish I had a time machine and could go back in history and change the sexual orientation norms. In my little time machine fixed world, there would be no need for the GLBT acronym or letters, because who you are attracted to, fall in love with, and yes have sex with would not matter. In other words, we would just be people.

Sexual orientation norms created difficult situations for both men and women through the years. Men and women married because it was expected by cultural norms. Men married women when they were attracted to men and women married men when they were attracted to women.

Unfortunately, this rarely has a happy ending. You know my time machine would also fix this! ). It would be simple, if you love each other – you get to live “happily ever after”… the whole enchilada!

Why should “happily ever after” be based on what gender you both are anyways. I think we should share the wealth. I have been “happily ever after” for 33 years and my two uncles have been together for 30 years…why shouldn’t they have the whole enchilada too!!! And that’s all I have to say (or can say) on the subject.

Boy have I digressed! This is not the article that the editor gave me to write…Sorry Emily.

My article for this issue is supposed to be on married men who are bisexual or gay and the elevated risk for HIV and other STDs. However, you know Pam’s soapbox issues…it’s like an addiction. I would much rather talk about Pride and Coming Out…Oh wait a minute, I am already doing that.

Looking at my word count at the bottom of this page, I can see that I am quickly reaching the number I was provided. So I am going to end this with this mash-up…

“I’m coming out, I want the world to know, Got to let it show!”

“I'm beautiful in my way; 'Cause God makes no mistakes.

I'm on the right track baby - I was born this way.

Don't hide yourself in regret…

Just love yourself and you're set.

I'm on the right track baby - I was born this way” “I’m coming out, I want the world to know, Got to let it show!”

“I am beautiful no matter what they say-Words can't bring me down.

I am beautiful in every single way -Yes; words can't bring me down Ohh, nooo.

So don't you bring me down today.”

“I’m coming out, I want the world to know, Got to let it show!”

I see your true colors, shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them

show…Your true colors True colors…Are beautiful like a rainbow.

“I’m coming out, I want the world to know, Got to let it show!”

“Rejoice and love yourself today; 'Cause baby you were born this way.

No matter gay, straight, or bi, Lesbian, transgendered life.

I'm on the right track baby…I was born to survive.

No matter black, white or beigeChola or orient made.

I'm on the right track baby…I was born to be brave.”

“I’m coming out, I want the world to know, Got to let it show!”

“Living life is fun and we've just begun-To get our share of the world's delights.

HIGH hopes we have for the future, and our goals in sight.

No we don't get depressed.

Here's what we call our golden rule…Have faith in you and the things you do.

You won't go wrong. This is our family Jewel.

Have a safe and happy PRIDE!! We can’t wait to see you there!!

Pam

Be sure to come check out the Drop-In Center’s Booth at Pride!!

Free Oral Rapid HIV Testing Trinkets & Pride Fun PAGE 31

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