By Greg Budell
MALE CALL
TOURIST STOPS! 5 TO SEE, 5 TO SKIP USA Today recently published a survey of world travelers, listing their Top 5 most over-rated attractions. I’ll show you my best after I show you their worst.
1. STONEHENGE - You can’t get close to it anymore. The Brits closed access because people kept chipping away souvenir pieces. Since you can pretty much see this rock arrangement from a distant highway, why bother? Besides, the Griswolds knocked it down in “European Vacation”. 2. THE BLARNEY STONE - My daughter was in Ireland and loved it- but I don’t know if she tried to kiss this rock. I hope not, because while it is mythical- it’s a long line to endure only to put your lips into someone else’s slobber.
3. THE PYRAMIDS - When I was a kid, the pyramids seemed like a cool place to see. I asked my Dad if we could go and he took us to Michigan instead. The letdown here comes from the nearby KFCs and Pizza Huts. While they seem to rise from the vast expanse of the Egyptian desert, in reality it looks like they were put on the Eastern Bypass. 4. LEANING TOWER OF PISA - The article says the LTOP is a long 4 hour drive from Rome, is not that tall, and everyone takes the same silly photopretending to single-handedly hold it up. If you want to see leaning buildings that will eventually collapse, Detroit is closer.
5. TIMES SQUARE- I was there in the early 80s and it was all panhandlers and peep shows. Rudy Guliani cleaned it up and I liked it much better minus the trash. While all the digital signage could provoke a seizure, it’s a cool place to walk through but there is no one big attraction. Now, here are my Top 5 attractionsplaces I hope you will get to see this July or in a future summer vacation.
5. TOWER OF LONDON - I thought this was incredibly cool, mostly because it was built around 1100 AD- and there it sits,
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surrounded by modern London. You can tour the place and see the relics of human torture. We tend to look at some of the monsters making the news today and wonder WTF, but let me tell you- there were some sick pups using the Tower during its history. Was this building the inspiration for 50 Shades of Grey?
4. TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING Sophisticated New Yorkers may scoff at me, but this is a celebrity building. While the structure itself is kind of dull, I love the fact that one can take the elevator to the observation deck and go outside! So there you are, surrounded by suicide-prevention fencing, wondering how the heck do construction workers do what they do at this altitude? I have been to the top of every major skyscraper in America but this is still the best IMHO.
3. EIFFEL TOWER - It really is not a European cliché. Like the Empire State, it is a celebrity structure, probably the most famous in the world. When you first see it, it’s like seeing Tom Cruise in public except the Eiffel is much taller (I have seen both). Wow! There it is! I stood on the third deck with my daughter’s mother before we got married and it was romantic/mushy. Paris may also be the most beautiful city on the planet in terms of layout and design, something appreciated from ET‘s observation deck. The people of Paris were not as rude as I thought they would be, either. I am glad I went when I did, because as a smoker, any flight is miserable, so I won’t be making one of 7 hours.
2. YANKEE STADIUM - You have to be a lifelong baseball junkie to understand why this is so high on my list. Really, the park (not the recently opened stadium) was a dump and the concessions were obscenely priced. I almost felt like it was a tourist thing, which visitors paid one price for a wiener and New Yorkers got the secret price. The field itself, where the legends of Ruth and Gehrig played, that is to baseball fans what the Vatican is to a Catholic. I haven’t been to the Vatican so I put Yankee Stadium here instead. AND (drum roll please)….
1. MT. RUSHMORE - This is truly something one can’t appreciate from pictures. I will never forget, sitting in the back of the family Plymouth station wagon many years ago, what it was like to come around the side of a South Dakota hill and see those 4 Presidents come into view. On a beautiful day, it’s all the more amazing. If we didn’t have the direct evidence of its construction last century, we’d think aliens did it - or some superior civilization. You can whet your appetite by watching the great Hitchcock film, “North By Northwest”. We actually ate in the restaurant where Cary Grant got shot in the movie by Eva Marie Saint. Mt. Rushmore is a great American experience for a family. COMING NEXT MONTH- My top 10 Griswoldian Tourist Attractions!
Yes. There really is a giant ball of twine in Kansas!
Greg Budell lives in Montgomery with his dog Hershey. He’s a 25 year veteran of radio who hosts the Greg & Susan morning show 6-9 am and Happy Hour 3-6 pm on NEWSTALK 93.1, Greg can be reached at gregbudell@aol.com The River Region’s 50+ Lifestage Magazine