THE PERSONAL IS POLITICAL
Women were expected to put out,
their image as passive objects.
and their position in the organization
For male students like myself, the
was a function of who they had slept
new climate simply meant that
with — their talents a far second to
more women were openly ‘available.’
their desirability. As the power went
But it told us nothing about the
Still other women embraced the
to men’s heads, their mistreatment
souls and needs of those women.”
nonchalant sexual attitudes of men
of women did, too.
because it was fun! At least at first. “In such a sexually charged atmosphere, In 1973, writer and leftist activist Karen
some women began to feel like
Lindsey wondered where “the great
Kleenex rather than cherished lovers,”
dream of beautiful, healthy, unfettered
Rosen writes. “This, above all, explains
sex [had] gone wrong,” writing in the
the splenetic rage that women directed
Boston Phoenix, “I’m not sure when
against their movement ‘brothers.’”
the sexual revolution began to hurt.”
IN 1973, WRITER AND LEFTIST ACTIVIST KAREN LINDSEY WONDERED WHERE “THE GREAT DREAM OF BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY, UNFETTERED SEX [HAD] GONE WRONG,” WRITING IN THE BOSTON PHOENIX, “I’M NOT SURE WHEN THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION BEGAN TO HURT.”
THEN AS NOW Millennials like myself grew up constrained by the terms and tensions
In time, Lindsey’s disillusionment
the sexual revolution set in place five
caused her to take stock of her
decades ago. The result is a generation
willingness to participate in a culture
rife with sex-positive women who not
that caused her so much distress:
only equate sex with fulfillment but
“I had been pushing myself into being
also disassociate the totality of our
‘free’— into sleeping with men I didn’t
needs from casual intercourse just
give a damn about and sometimes
to stay in the game. We’ve had to
wasn’t even attracted to because
fuck like men to be fucked by men.
I had gotten dependent on the notion of sex as fulfillment…”
WE’VE HAD TO FUCK LIKE MEN TO BE FUCKED BY MEN.
Lindsey had spent the previous
After a year of self-imposed celibacy,
decade running with Students for
Lindsey drew the conclusion that
Now, some of us are starting to realize
a Democratic Society (SDS), a major
the sexual revolution “was based
that we don’t have to accept bad
New Left organization in the Civil
on a myth,” doubting that healthy
sex as part and parcel to that game.
Rights movement and a microcosm
sex could ever be “a simple animal
Like the second-wave feminists who
of the sexual revolution’s tensions:
act” unencumbered by consideration
extolled the injuries of the sexual
of each other’s complexities:
revolution in its salad days, we are
Men were my friends, and sex was part of our friendship they assured me… But once or twice, I found myself in situations where I wasn’t up for a good time—where I…needed the kind of
IN SUCH A SEXUALLY CHARGED ATMOSPHERE, SOME WOMEN BEGAN TO FEEL LIKE KLEENEX RATHER THAN CHERISHED LOVERS.
warmth and reassurance that didn’t
speaking out about our wounds. Only this time, we have the amplification powers of social media on our side. Maybe it’s no wonder, then, that millennials are having markedly
end up in fucking. And my good friends,
“Human beings have other than
less sex, in terms of frequency and
the lovers, weren’t there or were there
physical needs, and I wonder if the
number of partners, than generation X
with such undisguised disdain for my
most desolating trip that male culture
and baby boomers. It’s a phenomenon
needs that…I began to realize that,
has laid on all of us isn’t its attempt
The Atlantic dubbed “The Sex Recession,”
far from being an integrated part of
to rigidly divide the areas...”
and at least one researcher, Debby
a relationship, my sexuality existed
Herbenick of Indiana University,
for these men solely as a function
In his memoir, SDS leader Tom Hayden
attributes it to a “healthy reaction
of their pleasure or fantasy.
reflected on the same cultural moment:
to bad sex.” She suggests people might finally be feeling empowered
24
Despite its liberal politics, SDS was
“Women could freely take multiple
to say, “No, thanks” to sex that
a boy’s club rampant with misogyny.
boyfriends, but not as freely escape
doesn’t serve them.
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No Boundaries ISSUE 5