THE ADELAIDE
FIX
YOUR FREE GUIDE TO ADELAIDE’S FESTIVAL MONTH
2013
NOTE FROM THE ED
With just under a week left before our festival season wraps up for another year, there are still plenty of acts to catch as far as the Adelaide Festival and the Fringe Festival go. Last weekend’s epic WOMADelaide Festival was another dead-set highlight of 2013 and remains one of the most unique and anticipated events to hit
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Adelaide annually, but it’s by no means all over. From now until Sunday (when St Patrick’s Day sees it all go out with a boozy bang), both big acts and the lesser-known performers will still be doing shows around Adelaide so do make sure you head out and experience the last days of the buzzing atmosphere and celebrations.
T CHECK OOMU.AU RIPITUP.C E FOR MOR
Each year the months of February and March seem to attract larger and larger crowds – not to mention bigger and more stunning performances – but judging from what we had on offer in 2013, it’s safe to say we’ve just experienced the best festival season on record. Time flies: bring on 2014. Nina Bertok
WELCOME THE ACCIDENTAL SEXIST WITH SAM SIMMONS Last week I wrote a piece about getting old at the market and yearning for my youth. It offended many, but mostly people attached to the Big Table café at Adelaide Central Market. This is the exact paragraph: “I stop at that Big Table café place in the market, it’s filled with nubile semi-hippie virginous wellchested cream churning women and I’m just another one of those lecherous old men sitting there with my coffee.” I was ridiculed on Facebook for talking about chest size and not the coffee, I mean seriously! As if that paragraph will inspire hatred and negativity toward women, it’s just words, clumsily put together words from an absurdist comedy guy who (more often than not) is just plain weird bordering on unfunny. I am not an ‘Ab-sexist’ (absurd/ sexist). Chill out h8ers, we live in a lucky country where we can ogle and fantasise about whatever we want. Fantasise this: It’s the Clipsal weekend, the Adelaide Festival has just opened and Soundwave is thumping. In my mind/ fantasy the Adelaide Hilton is completely booked out with
high rollers; KISS, Metallica, Anthrax, Casey Stoner, Paul Kelly, Neil Finn, Nick Cave. At the breakfast buffet, Neil Finn hides a rasher of bacon in James Hetfield from Metallica’s vegan omelette and a massive bloody buffet war ensues. Does this fantasy make you want to headbutt Neil Finn? Well does it? If anything, I feel you may want to reward him. Just clumsily put-together words. So relax, angry word sexist police, unless you want to start splashing sexists with cans of paint like I’m wearing a fur coat made of sexist word slurs. The only thing I apologise for is what I said I’d do when thinking about the Brand Power lady, I don’t even know her and she’s probably nice. Oh and by the way, ‘virginous’ isn’t even a word. And speaking of sexual hypocrisy, you should check out Dave Quirk’s show at the Rhino Room, it’s about venereal disease. Oh and just for the record, the coffee and scrambled eggs at Big Table are superb and goodlooking. Bye Adelaide.
Catch Sam Simmons’ Shitty Trivia at The Garden Of Unearthly Delights (Romantiek) until Sun Mar 17.