PREWRITE
When you revise your story, you will want to consider the comments and suggestions that your peer conferencing partner gave you. This writer made some changes based on his partner’s ideas.
DRAFT REVISE
REVISE
PROOFREAD
Nearly four hundred crossed the seas Years ago, people left home to find a new life. an eleven-year-old Among them were a young boy named Matthew and mother and father his family. They left England on the Mayflower on
PUBLISH
September 16, 1620, to sail to New England. began to die of the journey During On the third week, people got sick. Some died was among the starving, and from lack of food. Matthew’s mother almost died. He knew he had to help her. Since The children were fed first. Matthew always got in his pocket take a few bites some food. He would eat a little and hide some food. ,when everyone was asleep, Then he took the food to his mother. Here mother. whispered I saved this for you,” he said. “You are a wonderful replied boy, Matthew. Thank you” she said. Finally, in late October, From then on, His mother regained her strength. Matthew saw land. On November 21, 1620, the Mayflower sailed into Massachusetts, where a new life awayted he and his family.
PRACTICE
AND
Revising Q Does your story fit your
purpose and audience? Q Do you need to
elaborate on any part of your story? Have you included enough details about the characters and the setting? Q Is there dialogue to
make your story more interesting? Q Do you have an
APPLY
Revise Your Own Story 1. Read your draft aloud. Listen carefully to how your story sounds.
interesting beginning, middle, and end? Q Do your sentences flow
well when you read your story aloud?
2. Take notes from your peer conference. 3. Use your partner’s comments to help make your draft better.
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