Freemaon Magazine 2023 - Complete

Friends of the Freemasons

A message from Charlie Richard House services

Calvin and Maureen’s story

Meet our counsellor, Alicia

Supporting families through the of living crisis

Our plans for growth –Chris Baker (CEO)

Mahsoomah’s Story

A Masonic connection resulting in £60,000 of donations

Support in 2022 Request a speaker Get involved

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Welcome from our Founder – Anthea Hare

Welcome everyone to the third edition of Friends of the Freemasons magazine. Whether you are a new member or have been a Freemason for many years it gives me great pleasure to write to you all.

As founder and life president of Richard House I look back to our very early beginnings and see how far we have come since we opened our doors in 2000 as the first children’s hospice in the Capital. I had seen the needs of so many families during my years as a paediatric nurse at the Royal London hospital and my personal experiences of growing up with a severely disabled brother and the lack of support for both my parents and later other parents I met during my professional career. The experiences of my parents and others became the foundation stones for Richard House.

With my dedicated committee our vision was to offer care and support to children, young people and their families and to accompany them during their journey through life to death, creating positive experiences along the way which become good memories for the future. This is still our mission today.

But much has changed and developed in the years since 2000. Medical science and technology have moved apace and many children we care for today have more advanced technical equipment to help them in their daily lives and we must ensure that our care team are equipped to both understand and manage often quite complex care needs so that parents feel confident to leave their children with our staff.

Since 2018 we have provided a hospice at home service too which compliments our residential service for respite stays and which is expanding as the needs of so many families become known to us and we acknowledge the importance of bereavement support which is offered to all families after the death of their child.

The support given by the Freemasons in the past has been so valuable and even more so today as many of our families will be even more challenged by the cost of living crisis as are so many families in our society.

Huge thanks to you all for your fantastic and generous support without which we would be unable to do what we do. For each family it makes a world of difference to their lives knowing we can be there for them when they need us.

Yours sincerely and fraternally,

Anthea Hare Founder & Life President

A message from Charlie...

I started working for Richard House in March 2021, in the midst of the pandemic. The hospice was still in lockdown, and the majority of our non-care staff were mandated to work from home. Any in-frequent trips I was making to the hospice would be accompanied by a lateral flow test and the residential area of the hospice was strictly out of bounds. I was working for a children’s hospice, but had little real understanding of what a children’s hospice was all about. Of course I had met staff on Microsoft Teams meetings and had read about the fantastic results the hospice had achieved for families (including doubling the capacity of our Hospice at Home outreach work to families shielding from Covid). But a true understanding of the purpose of a children’s hospice had so far eluded me.

Last summer, Covid rules were finally completely paused at Richard House, representing a monumental moment for families, staff, volunteers and supporters. A return of family trips saw a coach load of exuberant children and carers set off for Chessington World of Adventures in July. Families were finally once again getting the chance to embark on a fun-filled all-expenses paid day-trip alongside other families!

Since that point, we’ve seen musical events in the hospice, a jubilee tea party for mums, Diwali and Christmas celebrations and Formula E cars visiting Richard House. It’s fair to say the hospice is back doing it’s bread and butter – creating positive and unforgettable memories for families that they will hold with them forever.

I’ve also had the chance to interact more with the Richard House children and parents, which has opened my eyes to the true reality of the impact the hospice’s services have on their lives. You won’t be surprised by the emotional and physical strain having a child with a life-limiting condition can have on a family, but if you’re anything like me, the little things can sometimes be the most shocking. By that I mean that a lot of the difficulties the families of Richard House face are related to aspects of life that most of us just take for granted. When a mum told me that she uses respite care as an opportunity to clean

Charlie Grey Head of Community & Events Fundraising

her house and catch up on sleep, that made me realise the basic life necessities these families are having to sacrifice. When a father told me that taking his son for a walk in our sensory garden gives him the chance to finally take his boy outside without feeling observed and judged, that spelled out to me the constant sense of alienation that is caused by a serious illness.

Nothing we do at Richard House is mind-bogglingly complicated, but it means the world to the families that rely on the hospice’s services. Richard House acts as a judgement free space where these families can spend quality time together. It gives a seriously ill child the space and attention to develop their communication skills and manage their pain. It provides medical training to parents to give them the confidence to care for their child. It funds fun trips that give vulnerable families the chance to create amazing memories – even when they can’t afford them. None of this would be possible if it wasn’t for the generous support of Freemasonry and other philanthropic organisations. £3 of every £4 we spend on our services comes from voluntary donations. Your continued support through tough economic times has literally been the difference between despair and hope for hundreds of the most vulnerable people in our community.

As you will read on p12-13, we are embarking on transformative times at Richard House. Freemasonry was with us from the very start, and will continue to play a vital role in the hospice’s evolution. Thank you for sticking with us in recent years, and I hope that together we can continue to grow the Masonic network and impact over the coming months and years.

We aim to bring together our Masonic supporters in the not too distant future, and it will be a pleasure to meet many more of you face to face and tell you more about the amazing results Freemasonry is helping us to achieve for Richard House families. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading this magazine and it inspires you to continue and further your support for the hospice.

charlieg@richardhouse.org.uk

Richard House Services

Often when people imagine a hospice, they have a certain picture in their mind’s eye. A sad and morbid place with little reason to smile. The reality is very far from this. The range of services we offer at Richard House are designed to offer a blanket of comfort and compassion for the entire family. We often say that a children’s hospice is not just a place where seriously ill children will go to die. It is far more about being a place that them and their family go to live!

From music therapy to fun trips, the children are kept constantly entertained when at Richard House. The familiarity and friendly nature of the nurses helps children to be comfortable when left at Richard House for respite. The play therapy sessions we offer help the children to forget about their illness and access some of the important development and social opportunities that most children will take for granted.

“He just lit up like I’d never seen him before – he was laughing his heart out. It was beautiful” – Angela, Music Therapist

Respite care is our most utilsed service. Parents who are stretched to the limit by 24 hour care can take a vital break – giving them the chance to catch up on life admin and recharge their batteries.

“She goes to stay with the lovely nurses at Richard House and is fussed over and loved, which gives me that little break to regain the strength needed for me to be able to give my most to her.” – Richard House parent

For parents who need support as they learn the skills to care for their seriously ill child, our step down care service gives them the confidence to look after their child at home.

Our growing Hospice at Home service supports children and young people who prefer to remain at home with their families or are too unwell to travel.

In the home of a seriously ill child, siblings often take a back seat, but research shows that the burden of responsibility for young carers can often cause issues both socially and academically. That’s why we put on siblings groups, as well as our parent’s groups, so that everyone gets the chance to meet others going through similar challenges and take a vital break from their caring responsibilities at home.

When it comes to end of life care, we ensure that every family is offered the opportunity to say goodbye on their own terms. We help families to observe religious or cultural practices, and our Rainbow Suite is a dedicated area for end of life cases that gives families the comfort and privacy to say goodbye with dignity. On top of this, bereavement support is available for all families before, during and after death.

Anthea Hare founded Richard House because she felt that seriously ill children and their families deserved a more suitable option than hospital. 23 years on, and Richard House continues to be a sanctuary of comfort and opportunity for hundreds of vulnerable families in our community.

I am mum to my wonderful son, Calvin. Calvin was born with complex medical needs and despite all that, he is a character , and a cheeky one too! He goes through a lot of pain but even despite this, he always has a smile not far behind.

Calvin was born with a congenital heart condition. He has had three open-heart surgeries. In addition to this, his lungs on his right side are not able to function properly so we have to perform physio on him every day – two times in the morning and two in the evening. He has a developmental delay and has recently been diagnosed with autism.

All of this means he has not developed at the same rate or speed as other children his own age. Calvin will always require constant care and supervision and while I know that this will be hard, at times heartbreaking, knowing Richard House was and is there for both Calvin and I made the future manageable at each stage.

Calvin has been coming to Richard house for over 10 years and the very first time it was suggested we visit, we thought that a hospice was where a child dies, so I was hesitant. But from that first time I came, I soon realised that this was a place where my son could have fun and could come and stay, giving us both a break. Taking Calvin to Richard House has been the best decision I have made for him. There is a lot to do for Calvin every day, from feeding him, caring for him, being a mother, a teacher, being patient with him and his frustrations and needs. Richard House understand his needs in a way that other people do not, so if Richard House wasn’t available, what would parents like me do?

At the moment, there is another crisis for us to face. I know that the coming months are going to affect us all, both you and us! The reality is that the sharp rise in not only household goods, but the increase in utility bills that I cannot reduce due to Calvin’s needs, has already started to affect our day-to-day lives.

I have spoken to other families and also the amazing care team at Richard House so I could pass on to supporters like yourself the full picture of what we and Richard House are truly facing. What I heard from them is upsetting and troubling.

The care team told me:

The demand for our services are rising and will continue to rise due to the impact of the cost of living crisis. For some families, keeping their child at home this winter may not be an option for them, as the cost of running equipment becomes unaffordable. Many will be forced to make the devastating decision to place their child in hospital as they cannot continue to safely care for them at home.

At Richard House, we want to prevent families from needing to take drastic measures to keep their children safe and warm this winter and that’s why we are taking steps to ease some of the strain families are facing. We predict that the rising energy costs will create an increased demand for respite care in the hospice, with more families relying on short breaks when money is tight. More families will want to use our Day Care services too, as this will mean not having to have the heating on at home. In order to rise to these increased demands, we are making sure that we have enough staff to fulfil all of the requests for additional care”.

“I worry that if the cost of living increases further, I won’t be able to visit as often as I do now. Your donations ensure that Richard House can continue to run their services and are able to cope with the increasing demand, for no charge.

Thank you for supporting Richard House. My family, together with all the other families supported by Richard House are so very grateful”.

What is your job role?

I am the Counsellor. I support parents whose children attend Richard House with the emotional difficulties that are involved –anxiety, grief, loss, relationship difficulties, loss of identity and so on. Having a safe, calm, nonjudgmental and compassionate space to talk can be so valuable. I also offer pre- and postbereavement support.

I can also offer support for siblings and the children/ young people themselves if it is suitable. Children may feel they can’t express how they really feel to parents or carers for fear of upsetting them, having an ‘outside’ person to talk to may feel better.

What does a day to day at Richard House look like for you?

I work here on Mondays and Tuesdays. I offer telephone or video calls, or face to face sessions. I will check emails and send messages out to confirm sessions and have the sessions themselves. There may be admin to do around the sessions, or some research in terms of signposting. I also work closely with Michelle, our Family Support Worker, to organise and facilitate coffee mornings for Mum’s and family events such as the Christmas Party. I am in the process of organising a Memory Day event as well.

Why do you like working at Richard House?

I enjoy working as part of a team, the aim for all of us is to support the children and their families, and we all have different roles within that. The families all have different stories and they are all interesting and important.

Do you have a favourite memory of Richard House?

During the summer we had an event here where musicians from the Lang Lang Foundation came and performed for families outside – it was lovely to see the effect of the music. We also had a drumming workshop, again it was lovely to see how the children responded to the sounds

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I read a lot, and enjoy watching nonsense on television, also listening to music to unwind –you can’t beat a kitchen disco! I like to have a walk amongst trees if I can, particularly with the Autumn colours. Having a good old natter with friends is also important.

What made you want to get into hospice care/working with children?

I worked with children with Special Needs as a TA in mainstream schools for many years, then went into counselling as a development of that. To become a qualified counsellor you have to have a certain amount of hours – I applied to be a volunteer counsellor at an adult hospice, and from there I realised that bereavement work was something that really interested me – it feels very ‘real’ and very human. I then went on to work with a bereavement charity for several years before coming here.

Supporting families through the cost of living crisis

The hospice is continuing to battle economic uncertainty, with the needs of our children and families being greater than ever before due to the cost of living. The current economic turmoil is causing many of our families to be extremely worried about whether they’ll be able to heat their home or charge their children’s life-saving equipment.

Many of the children who are wheelchair users feel the cold more as they are less mobile, and many have a weakened immune systems, meaning the heating must be on throughout winter. So for these families, cutting down on energy usage isn’t a choice – it’s literally a matter of life and death.

And yet 80% of those families who responded to our autumn survey said they were 'very concerned' about being able to heat their homes throughout winter.

As a result, demand for our day care support and short stay breaks have sky-rocketed.

In order to rise to these increased demands, we are making sure that we have enough staff to fulfil all of the requests for additional care. We also are running more family activity days to help the children and families to still create precious memories while money is tight.

Obviously the costs of running the hospice have also risen in recent times, but we are determined to remain a safe and warm space for families who need our help. Masonic Lodges have continued to rise to the challenge, donating over £10,000 since September. Such generosity is helping our families to access vital services while times are hard –providing over 100 hours of vital respite care for families during the winter months.

If your Lodge would like to support families through these difficult times, you can contribute to our current cost of living appeal at www.justgiving.com/campaign/RichardHouse

Our plans for growth…

CEO Chris Baker outlines the organisation’s strategy moving forwards.

Richard House was London’s first children’s hospice commencing its care services in 2000. It is hard to believe that before then there were no children’s hospices to support children with life limiting conditions and their families in London!

Today Richard House provides a range of services including residential care, hospice at home, therapies, family activities and end of life support.

As we start 2023 however, demand for our services has never been greater and currently exceeds our capacity. This is even more worrying as it is clear that many families in our area, which includes City & Hackney, Tower Hamlets, Newham, and Barking and Dagenham, are still not aware of the services we can provide. As we publicise our services more this demand will become even greater.

Our trustees and management team are therefore focussed on expanding our capacity and the range of services we provide.

To meet demand we need to double the size of our residential unit from 5 to 10 bedrooms including 2 end of life suites.

Our Hospice at Home service - where our team look after life limiting children in their own homes - needs to expand at least three fold.

Did you know?

For every £4 Richard House Children’s Hospice needs to spend on its vital services, £3 must come from donations and fundraising.

The range of therapies we currently provide falls well short of the ideal and needs to expand significantly. Similarly we are not able to support our families as much as they need. The strain and pressures many of our families endured during the Covid lockdowns cannot be overestimated and the repercussions are still being felt.

Last but not least is the need to embed Richard House far more deeply in the communities we serve. Repeatedly the biggest challenge we see is families with a newly born child with a life limiting condition accepting the need for our support as they struggle with accepting the situation.

The more we can open our doors to community events and offer services to the wider community the more Richard House will be perceived as just a part of the community and the use of our services will become less of a major step in itself.

We have fortunately been very successful in the last year in increasing the size of our care team as new recruits have bought into our vision of being a, if not the, leading children’s hospice.

To turn our plans into reality we now need to raise more money and also increase our volunteer base.

We are very grateful for the support we have received from the Masons over the years and look forward to working with you to raise some of the funds necessary to see our plans become a reality and meet the needs of children with life limiting conditions and their families over the next 20 years.

Chris Baker Chief Executive Officer

When Mahsoomah visited Richard House last year to talk about her experience as a bereaved mother, it was the first time she had returned to the hospice since losing her daughter, Maryam almost 4 years previously.

Accompanied by her uncle Abdul, owner of local business ARQ Homes, she opened up about her memories of Richard House and why 4 years on from Maryam’s passing, it still holds a special place in both their hearts.

Maryam started to have seizures just 8 hours after she was born. At this point they knew her life was going to be a constant struggle. Five months later, she was finally diagnosed with beta-mannosidosis, a condition that, to this day has only affected around 20 individuals worldwide. There is no cure.

Doctors advised Mahsoomah to bring Maryam to Richard House so she could have a break from her caring duties.

The first time I came I was very nervous. I didn’t know much and hadn’t researched about it. I just knew it was a children’s hospice.

The staff looked after us both. They asked questions about her and took time to get to know us both. They would ask important questions about how she likes to sleep and they’d have a cup of tea with me and ask me how I’m coping.

Maryam loved coming here – she was always so excited. We would always come to the fun days, animal days, world days and pantomimes –things she normally couldn’t access, but she could experience it here. When we were leaving she would always throw a strop”!

Mahsoomah always remembers feeling very safe at Richard House, as it was a judgement free zone.

“I could be here with other people that weren’t staring at her or judging her or making comments about her. It was definitely a safe space.

I could do whatever I wanted and be myself with her here, knowing we’re both supported, not just her.

The judgement, you can understand from children, as it’s curiosity as to why another child is like that, but when it comes from another adult, it’s far harder to take.

But at Richard House, I would meet other parents on event days, and some of them I still know and talk to now – they’re my friends”.

For young parents like Mahsoomah, Richard House acts as a vital support system that allows her to be herself with her child. By making friends at the hospice, Mahsoomah realised that she wasn’t alone in this struggle. Even in the years after Maryam’s passing, Mahsoomah still sees Richard House as a sanctuary that gave her the gift of a smile.

poem about Richard House

I smile because I am blessed, I smile because you understand me, I smile because of the help you gave me, I smile because I can now breathe easily, I smile because I no longer need to carry the stress alone, I smile because of the kind words you encourage me with, I smile because of the gift of a smile you have given me.

When my heart squeezed until I could no longer breathe, When I felt like if I took another step I would shatter, When I felt like I could no longer be strong, When uncertainty and anxiety took away my sleep, You were there for me, reminding me that I could do this,

A Masonic connection resulting in £60,000 of donations

Jeremy Lindop of United Mariners Lodge no. 30 is a prime example of a Mason using their connections to help Richard House to build unforeseen partnerships in the community.

Jeremy’s commercial partnership with the City of London Cemetery & Crematorium has led to over £60,000 of donations in the past 7 years, with the most recent donation of £13,198 coming at a vital time with the hospice’s costs rising.

This is the result of the extraction of precious metals, which end up becoming a by-product of cremations at City of London. Utilising his knowledge as a metallurgical chemist, Jeremy is able to valorise the material through his own and other companies. The partners decided that donating the proceeds of this to a worthy cause was the path they wanted to pursue.

They decided on Richard House. £60,000 later, and we are once again seeing the colossal impact of word of mouth recommendations on our work.

To put it into context, £60,000 over the years equates to more than 730 hours of vital respite care for a family. For our families, looking after their seriously ill child is a 24/7 job.

Parents deliver care around the clock, sacrificing their own relationships and wellbeing for that of their child’s. Many of the children we work with have issues with sleep, need medication throughout the night or simply, parental anxiety means they don’t get the rest they need to feel ready to face the next day of looking after their child. It can feel endless.

Through continued generous donations resulting from this convenient partnership, our nurses are able to offer more vital respite care to families that desperately need it.

Jeremy visited Richard House recently to present the most recent installment, alongside Spencer Lee, City of London Cemetery Manager.

“Having witnessed the amazing care Richard House provides, not only for the patients but also support for their families, I was very moved and motivated to explore all avenues of support.

There has been support from Freemasons and hopefully we can extend that in these very difficult times of spiralling costs. ” – Jeremy Lindop – United Mariners Lodge no. 30.

Support in 2022

Freemason support has ensured our vital work has continued in spite of the additional demand and increasing costs for the hospice…

With special thanks to*…

Alexandra Chapter no.5182

Ashburton Park Lodge no. 4988

Borough of Newham Lodge no. 8627

Border Stone Lodge no. 6755

City Guilds Chapter no.4256

Corinthian Lodge no. 1382

Covenant Lodge no.4344

Crest of Mount Edgcumbe Lodge no.7431

Europa Point Lodge no.8581

Frederick Lodge of Unity no.452

Guildhall School Of Music Chapter no.2454

Hand of Good Fellowship Lodge no.5249

High Stone Chapter no 6755

Horistic Lodge no. 2822

Lodge of Hope no.7152

Loyal Duchess of Kent Lodge no. 3963

Metropolitan Grand Stewards Lodge no.9812

Mount Moriah Chapter no.143

Mount Moriah Lodge no.34

Onslow Lodge of Mark Master Masons No 361

Parachute Regiment Chapter no. 9315

Portico Lodge no.7950

Royal Jubilee Chapter no. 72

Saint John's Lodge no.167

Shepherd's Bush Lodge no. 1828

Sir Walter St John Lodge 2513

Stanford-Le-Hope Lodge no.5217

Temple Porchway Lodge no. 7209

Tutela Lodge of Instruction no.6559

United Mariners Lodge no.30

Wanstead Chapter no. 3524

West Essex Round Table Lodge no.9310

Westminsterian Lodge No3344

270+ families supported through Masonic funding

33 Lodges supported Richard House in 2022 Freemasonry funded 207 hours of care for Richard House children

Over £17,000 raised from the Masonic Community

5 Masons gave up their time to volunteer at Richard House events 151 freemasons received the ‘Friends of the Freemasons’ mailing

2 Lodges funded capital projects at the Hospice

*at time of printing.

Request a speaker

Would your lodge benefit from an interesting and uplifting talk?

Our speakers and awareness volunteers are a great way to inspire the community about the work of Richard House.

We have a team of trained volunteers throughout Newham, Tower Hamlets and the surrounding London Boroughs who carry out talks to groups both large and small (from a minimum of five people up to 100) and give you the information you need to know about Richard House. We know that talks can truly make a difference!

These interactive talks can last anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour (depending on how many questions you might want to ask). And if you've only 5 minutes free, that's not a problem - we can still give you the five things you should know.

We've given talks in the workplace, social clubs, faith groups, community centres and even football stadiums. Basically if there's a place where your group meets up then we'll be there! We can even host a talk over Zoom or video call!

“Richard House’s talk and presentation made such an impact on our members that I encourage others to invite them to speak.” Pauline, St Chad’s Church

The support that Richard House provides is right here in the East End community I come from.

It’s great seeing the happiness of children and families from diverse backgrounds taking part in the activities provided.

Steve Howey, Richard House Volunteer Ambassador

Raise awareness in your local area

There are a number of brethren already working to raise awareness in and beyond their provinces. Join them by helping to raise awareness about Richard House in one of the following ways:

• Make a donation

• Book a speaker to talk at your lodge.

• Arrange a station collection for us

• Organise a Charity Golf Day

• Nominate us as a charity

• Dedicate an event to raise funds and awareness

• Sponsor some medical equipment at the hospice

• Share your own story with us, and help inspire others

• Place an advert for Richard House in your regional publications

• Put us in touch with any other groups or individuals who may want to hear more.

The Relief Chest Scheme

The Relief Chest Scheme allows lodges, chapters, provinces and other masonic groups to save time, take control and give more to the charities they support. Purpose-built for freemasonry, the Relief Chest Scheme offers donor advised funds called Relief Chests within which donations can be securely held until you are ready to make a payment to a registered charity. You can also boost donations with Giftaid!

Today, there are over 5,000 Relief Chests holding funds totaling more than £21 million. Think about your local children’s hospice, the next time you apply!

Sign up to our e-newsletter!

Sign up to our bi-monthly Friends of the Freemasons e-newsletter packed full of articles, news and stories of how the masonic community are helping our vital work. Simply email fundraising@richardhouse.org.uk.

Richard House is a place close to our hearts and we will never forget the kindness they showed us.

Parent of a service user

Join our Masonic event

Covid-19 meant we were unable to arrange a much anticipated celebratory event for our Masonic supporters. We are working to arrange an event in 2023, and we’d love to see as many Masonic supporters as possible in attendance. So whether you and your Lodge have supported Richard House before, or whether you’re new to the work of the hospice, please join us for an evening of celebration and updates on the hospice’s work and Freemasonry’s impact on the lives of our families. You can expect canapes, drinks and networking opportunities.

Date: TBC

Location: Freemasons Hall, Holborn.

To register your interest, please email fundraising@richardhouse.org.uk and we’ll send more information when we have it.

At Richard House, as a member of the National Free Wills Network we are able to offer you the opportunity to have a simple Will written by a local solicitor FREE of charge.

If you are interested in using the Free Will Writing service please call 020 7511 0222, email fundraising@richardhouse.org.uk or visit https://www.richardhouse.org.uk/legacy .

We will then pass your details on to the National Free Wills Network, who will send you details of participating local solicitors that can write you a free simple Will. Simply choose the most convenient solicitor and make an appointment by the deadline given in the letter.

Whilst there is no obligation to leave a bequest to Richard House, we hope you will consider leaving a gift to help care for future generations of children with life-limiting illnesses.

fundraising@richardhouse.org.uk 020 7540 0222

Richard House Drive, London, E16 3RG | Tel: 020 7511 0222 | www.richardhouse.org.uk. Richard House Trust is a registered charity (1059029) and a company limited by guarantee (3232837 - England & Wales). Its registered office is Richard House Children's Hospice, Richard House Drive, London E16 3RG.