RFD Issue 42 Spring 1985 by RFD Magazine Gay

COUNTRYJOURNAL FOR GAY MEN EVERYWHERE

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Managing Editor: Ron lambe Administrative Asst.: Richard Chum ley Art Director: Light Department Editors:

j u focused on ace ism in several ways. In the letters department, ■c. will read some concern'over our supposed position on man-boy love. We do run the GAMBIA ad and publish articles about this. There seem to be some as sumptions abounding that to support one thing denies another. Being pro-Pagan c j , n0r mean being anti-Christian necessarily; being feminist does not nave to'mean being anti-male. I believe our society teaches us eithtr-orism and i fpa| need to work hard +o get away from that kind of thinking. Some ol s ,„Pp to -hink that our struggle is to get homosexuality accepted - at least \-/e can't even define it exactly. How many their concept of homose xuallty experiences qualifies o ne for that nomenclature? What degree of feeling? Is it to the utter exclusion .pf feel ig for the opposite sex altogether? I believe _____ ion our relations to others whether sexual or that we need to serious ly ques I am otherwise in the light of what is beneficial or harmful to both parties. of children, women, animals, minorities, the land, against abuse, whether it b& 0 or even ourselves. So the Que■stion becomes, what is abuse? That is not going „odIfy, but I certainly would put that high on the tc be an easy MuwativM Question to cod* "lTeria for rut our our guide huide for our relations with others. There is the very real criteria >tcem of self-delusion because it is natural for us to rationalize our actions V V |-.,st possible light. If we want something strongly enough, we can find J way to justify it to ourselves. In the case of Intergenerational affection ,r 5ex ton elder party will generally be the more experienced and aware of the ■ M : n a relationship and will need to be as objective as possible. > *nir ‘ (or more) party opinion might be helpful for unbiased perspective. .,.or,.; '| leave this issue, there is another point I would like to make and that , th'3- there is also an assumption running around that sex is harmful or someV not good 'or people*. My experience has been just the opposite. I have ; .'.nd that as much harm comes from suppressing sex as from its over indu igence. human being-, and we need love and affection regardless of age, sex, race, * whatever circumstance we find ourselves in. We also need to affirm our perright to determine what works best for us so long as we don’t harm ariy’hat is our true liberation. Gay rights are only a step in that direc•j >,\p as important as it is. At any rate, I look forward to more discussion of these concerns in future issues. Vi* have several new volunteer Department Editors. We will try to present brie biographies on our new folks over the next few issues. We certainly thank our former helpers and welcome our new ones. Speaking of internal affairs (no one know), we are facing the real possibility of another rate ^increase. The q■ -1.vj rites have gone up like everything else but our subscriptions. So, this might be a good time to renew. ■>n the home front, I have been a bit overbusy with political concerns. There seer, to be increasing attacks on the environment with the US Forestry service coming out with a 50-year plan favoring increased clear cutting and road bui fl ing. MOW, we have studies that might put a high-level nuclear dump n North Carolina. Horrors! Between these concerns along with managing the local food buying club, some county Democratic party work and efforts to qet my neighbors together for ton* road work done, has left me with very little time to articu late the Running Water/Stepping Stone organization and needs. hope o have "•vm* thing together and processed for the next issue. We do have needs. e need to improve the facilities (a Gathering structure, better toilet accomocations, parking and access, to name a few) if we are to promote Running Water as a retreat center, tla also need to find, a way to fund assistance here. • certhinly can’t do it ill by myself. At least I now have an assistant for MHJ, and that is a big help. One step at a time. Well, enjoy /our spring and go to some of the Gatherings and conferences in this -issue. There i , a lot happening; be a part of it!

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Announcements: Sundance, CA Articles: Kenneth Hale-Wehmann, MA Book Reviews: Woody Black, VA Bros. Behind Bars: Len Richardson, OR Contact Letters: Gary Wilson, MN Country Kitchen: Mike I Maxwell, IL Fey Arts: Franklin Abbott, GA Fiction: Randy Conner, TX Gardening: Scott Tuzzolino, DC Gatherings: Sundance, CA Health: Jerry Stamps, AR Homesteading: Kim Grittner, Wl Poetry: Franklin Abbott, GA Politics: Stuart Norman, CA Profiles: Jim Long, AR Spirituality: Gerry Kamp, NY RFD functions as a reader-written journal. Editorship responsibility is shared among the Department Editors and the Managinq Editor. The business and general production is centered at Running Water in western North Caro lina. Features are often prepared in various places by different groups. MEMBER: CCLM (Coordinating Council of Literary Magazines) COSMEP (The International Assoc. of Independent Publishers) GLPA (Gay/Lesbian Press Assoc.) INDEXED by Alternative Press Index, Baltimore, Maryland. RFD is published quarterly on the equinoxes and solstices at Running Water, Rt. 1 Box 127-E, Bakersville. North Carolina 28705. Tel. (704) 688-2447. ISSN #0149-709X USPS #073-010-00 Non-profit tax exempt status under #23-7199134 as a function of Gay Gommunity Social Services, Seattle,

Photo by Bill Boy Ie

As spr|,ia jg fr-ving +o mjke its way to us hero, we are wrapping up this 42nd ;-Sue RFD. We are running a bit late, but that is nothing new or anything seri-js ‘T*~*r» feel the renewing energy of growing things awakening and the increasing strength of the sun's'rays. I’m also writing this on the full moon, v -ha- may have something to contribute to the energy flow as well. At any | welcome it. Richard and I braved the coldest winter I ever experienced t.ith'~5° below! At least it was also one of the shortest in a long time. Light -raveled ail the way from California for this lay out, and we have enjoyed the ..Voumber of friends on this issue. (Of course, the typewriter had to break down twice, always ar the worst possible times).

Richard Chumley (aka Pilgrim) is RFD’s first Administrative Assistant (and oresently 'Doliy Domestic' for Run ning Water). His background includes being a minstrel, a word-processor operator, a copy editor, and a jackoff-aiI-trades. He also gives onion readings as the spirit leads. . t,/O' t

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A COUNTRY JOURNAL FOR GAY MEN EVERYWHERE SPRING’85 *42

CONTRIBUTORS John Alexander.............. Beautiful Day............. Woody BI ack.......... . *56 Bill Boy Is..... ............ .. IFC James Brennan.................34 35 Edward Carlos........... " Crazy Owl............ .34 Da.......... Rick Dean.... Don Engstrom........ .62,64,65,68 John Ferguson.. Steven Fi nch.. Paul Fishel___ Floating Eagle Feather Jamie F 101 id.... Tom Foxwel 1.... Chasen Gaver.. Glenn of the Trees.. Bill Gouge...... Kim Gri ttner.... The Homesteader... Gerry Kamp...... Philip Kuenoer... John Landry.... Ray Latham..... Light.............. J im Lona........ ^7 43 .Back Cover Mi ke McCabe... Mark McNease... John Mi fsud...

BROTHERS BEHIND BARS CONTACT LETTERS COUNTRY KITCHEN FEATURE

FICTION GARDEN 1NG GATHERINGS

Raven Wolfdancer..22,24-27 32 33 56 Len Richardson.... * ’ ’jg

HOMESTEADING

* iik.............. .!!!!!!!!!toverS Freda Rosen............... ]5 Donald Slaga................. 35 Dave Smith.......... !!.!!!" 36"42 Pur Iie Sudds....... !■!..!.!!... .48 Howard Thornton......... ! ! . . . . . ! 3 4 Scott Tuzzol ino............... 15 Gary W iIson.......... .!!!!!!.!. 14 Don Wylie............ !!!!!!!!!! .46 Yoki gurash i...................."' 39 Josh Young.................... 45

LETTERS POETRY

PRODUCTION: Ozarks Daniel, Dave, Donnie, Jim, Josh, Rijk PRODUCTION: Running Water Charlie, Jimmy, John, Light, Richard and Ron

Jumping Too Quickly - FoxwelI and Alexander___ _* ' ’ 58 The Racism of Laying Back - Freda Rosen........ !!!!!!!!!! !l 5 AnotheA M othv 1 Tongue (Judy Grahn) - Stuart Norman!!!!!!! .’ .’ 55 SiOAAomA 0(5 L ig h t (Yarrow Troefriend) - Raven Wolfdano r 56 The Coirruc Code (Pagels) - Charles Creekmur.............. <55

BOOK REVIEWS

FEY ARTS Sister Missionary Position Uaniel Morr ison.. •. Stuart Norman.... P. David 0 fFlynn___

CONTENTS

ANNOUNCEMENTS ARTICLES

POLITICS SPIRITUAL ITY

j a c i u e a InclooA/Outdoor G ardening ChaAtA (Hostage) - Woody Black........ % P eep ik Pcun lA Love (Id. W. Ley land) - Beaut ifu1 Day..... O lgan ic G oldening IlndeA GfaAA (G. A K. Abraham) - Woody Black.......... Penguin Pooh ofi HomoAcxua? VeAAe (Ed. Coots) - Mike McCabe.......... Set-ixng th e Tone (Ned Rorem) - John Ferguson S p ace-T im e and Peyond (Toben A Wolf) - Charles Creekmur --- 55 S t o le n L ig h tn in g (O’Keefe) - Stuart Norman Age of Consent Laws - Ray Latham...... Money Order Scam at Parchman - An Inmate Who Cares The Pain and the Solution - Rick Dean Pen Pals? - Jamie Flolid___ .59-72 Recipes - P. Fishel; D. Rasmussen; D. O'Flynn; Mikel Age(ing) - Dave Smith...... An Ageless Gathering - Jim and Josh... Detour - Yokigurashi..... How the Race is Run - Josh Young..... I'm Glad I'm Not Young Anymore - Donnie Wylie A Lesson - Dave Smith........ My Struggle to Become - Jim Long... Numbers - Da............ I th o u g h t you'd be t a lle A ! (Romanovsky A Phillips) - Rev iew by G . W i1son........ Little Voices - Mark McNease........ Compost - Scott Tuzzolino.......... A Blue Eye Christmas - Daniel Morrison... log Shawl - Grit Goin............................ . Chickens for the Homestead - The Homesteader..... ..!! ..31 Homestead Finances and Planning - Kim Grittner.... . . . . . . . . 2 9

................................................................... .

The Balancing Act for Kitty - John Mi fsud................ 35 Boogie at the Bars — Steven Finch.... ........ . 33 The City Slick to the Shepherd - Steven Finch! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! . . 3 3 Disconnected Love - John Landry..... .......... ....... 35 For Schulz - Howard Thornton............................... . IF ~ Dona Id S I a g a # 33 I Know Not Cease (to Emily Dickinson) - Philip Kuepper.... 32 Midni ght/Crack of the Wishbone - John Landry........... ...35 Moonlight - James Brennan.................................. . Neruda - Edward Carlos............................... 33 Songs -Bill Gouge....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .33 Sunlight - James Brennan.................. 34 Thanksgiving (almost) - Glenn of the Trees..... ........... 34 Tit for Tat for Longfellow - Louie Crew....................32 Today - Crazy Owl........................................ .'i.34 We Go... - Chasen Gaver.................................... . The Only Dance There Is - Purlie Sudds.......... !!!!!!!.!.48 The Politics of Obscenity - Stuart Norman........... ! ! ! ! ! ! 4 7 Coping With Death - Gerry Kamp........................... ” 53 A Mayan Blessing - Floating Eagle Feather................. 52 3

The una+tributed cartoon under the "Inside Story" in #41 is the fine work of Arnie Levin from The New Yorker. A subscriber had sent it in and we just didn’t know the source until another reader wrote In. Thanks. Poetical Problems: It seems that we inadvertenly doubled one and cut ano ther poem in the last issue (#41). On page 32, we ran Aubrey Sparks poem, "He Took So Much" twice; our apologies. On page 31, we ran only part of Bill Gouge's poem, "Song." Its complete form is in this issue with our apolo gies to the poet. Artistic Iiscene®? The printer some how got two graphics switched in the last issue, so the attributions are not correct. The drawing of the two figures on page 9 is by Jim Hennigan and should have been on the bottom of page 43. The drawing found on page 43 is by A. Lopez and should have been on page 9. Our apologies to the artists. FUTURE THEMES AND FEATURES: #45 Summer 1985: This feature will focus on Gays in Small Towns and will be prepared by a group in Louis icina. Contributions on this theme are welcome, but we need them very soon. #44 fall

1985:

To a lf ^cLicina^d pumpers, greetings: On the. 7th day oh the Winter S olstice F estival, I received RFD containing Dave Rich’s Uanlhesto, "Spiritual. Knighthood oh the Holy Grail. In the Hands oh a Masturbator." The main purpose oh this le t t e r Is to ohhKA my heaurthelt thanks to Dave, great. Ma ster-jerk , and to RFD, Vehi c le oh Jewels, h°T Indescrable delight they bAought me duAlng the WInteA Holy Days, a l l dedicated to the worship oh the HoAned One. I t ims most AehAeshlng to my < fa s c i n ation to read my h r v o r lte thoughts b A lllla n t ly expAessed by a bAotheA hand-jobbeA , who "In A ccent years" undeAJwent such magic tAans j$crm ations th a t he was en a b led to suAAendeA su c ces s hutty h is body-mind to t h e t o t a l s e r v ic e 0(5 th e HoAned One, thus h i d ing SupAeme Id e n tity w ith Cock. FAom t h e age oh 70 onwaAd, I have I n f a l l i b l y 3 /0 'd to th e mlAAOA as the supreme A ctual lea d in g me In h & tllb ly to C U s s v llle (MIr v a n a ), to the. peA hect has ion oh body and mind w ith th e Holy Re h l e c t lo n , to th e Sweet and T o ta l HaAd-CoAC D evotion, to th e " p sy ch o lo g ic a l matuAlty" t h a t "must happen In a. bedlam th a t is ouAS a lo n e ."

We note with sadness the passinq of Stacy Brother lover early this year in New Orleans after a long illness which kept him in a hospital for several month . Stacy was a member of LASlS, coordinated the Faerie Fund, was as sociated with Short M t . Sanctuary, and was a familiar face at many Gatherings. He w iI I be missed.

Sincerely, Brooks Woodman, Washington

t* Hello to a ll! Like many |faggots I have 'country dreams', and I |$ee£ RFP helps me to rehlne and redeh-ine those dreams, and also to get a more r e a lis t ic Idea oh the p o s s ib ilitie s and n ecessities hor making those dreams come true. I l i k e RFD becau se I t h elp s me to r e a l i z e t h a t t h e r e aAe o th e r countAy gay men out t h e r e and p ro v id es me w ith a way to c o n ta c t some oh them.

I also lik e the Pagan/Faerie sp iritu al hocus, since I'm a Heopagan myselh• I haven't been able to attend any Faerie Gatherings yet, but RFD keeps me Inhormed oh the Gatherings, and I • • may get to one yet* « • Blessed be!

wT^ffriMP

David Albert, Pennsylvania

Happy Hew SolaA Year 1985! SAateful Hew York Reader GAeetlngs,

This feature will be done in the Boston area and is tenatively set to focus on Sex, Intimacy and Politics - no less. ‘Jo other features are spoken for at this time, and we want to encourage folks to consider doing one. It can be a wonderful creative experience as well as enriching our readership with fresh input and perspective.

"On Choosing Hew Digs" by John Wheeler - great aA tlcle. Using some oh the same guidelines was how we chose our new place here.

Lt]-> VeaA E ditorial Stahh, I en joyed th e l a s t is s u e oh RFD, as I do ev ery is s u e . HoweveA, I must v o ic e my o p in io n In saying th a t I h eel i t is n ot In th e b e s t In teA est oh th e p u b lic a tio n to d is p la y ads such as th e I .T . on page Z. I r e a l i z e th a t ads g en e ra te Aevenue, but w ouldn't i t be betteA to d e le g a te ads to the b a d pages and lim it t h e ir s iz e to 1/4 page? I'm no puA lst oa m o r a lis t by any means but ^ee£ th a t th is ad s p o ils The non-com m ercial, n o n -s ^ id , n o n -g lossy theme which RF” has always prom oted. Amfaay, n li- p lc k ln g and a?", congradu^ationS on 11 ycaAs oh c l a s s i c jou rn alism !

I have just completed the most In teresting couple oh days reading through the Winter 84/85 (#4J) RFD, and I r e a lly do want to express "ZEe sa tis hActlon that I experienced In reading the various a r tic le s . With my up-comlng jjAeedom I was rea lly able to r e la te to many oh Ike situations described In the various a r tic le s . I sure do want to say to you, "Well done."

Love and strength,

"The Letter" is written quite well, and r e a lly comes across bright and clear. The prison experience Is something that < \ew people on the streets can rea lly r e la te to as they somehow horget that we are peopte too. Alas, with the various a r tic le s oh dnhormatlon that you have printed I am sure that more wl?l begin to rea liz e that not a t l oh as are 'animals'.

naul Shepherd

R-tcfe Espinoza, Kentucky

today’s Standards, and a la c which evcru healthy ciatf male can c a s ie.y liv e with. h''\at kind ofa man wants +o fauck or suck ofafa children who don't even have pubic, underarm or faaciaf hair? Clear ly such a man has perverted the mating im/xitse to extend i t to sexless part ners, to b io log ically unprepared bod ie s . One might ash how can a sexless child consent to adult sex or mating without having bio log ically equipped bodies or mechanisms? Vear Ed itor, I thought tjouA. ‘.'AM3LA ad ivas sim ply uxnderfaul. Vou have a unique, and lo v e ly p u b lic a tio n .

A Friend, Delaware

Dear RFV, My turn. 1 think i t is both unenlightened and disingenuous to publish pictures ofa bearded, adult males with pubic hair ero tica lly embracing pre-puberty maf.es without hair, as shown in the MAM?LA advertisement in RFV. The relationships ofa pre-adolescent botjs to authoritarian, older males is not normall.u or naturally a mating bond, but a tu torial bond and sexual advances farom older males, to children is farum within a loco parentis paramexer wdcii society and the courts are faulty justifaied in regulating to exclude sucking, faucking, p h allic faondling or long, ero tic kissing. It is true that ta ste is a question ofa time and dxmate, but i t is argucng in circ le s faor child-fauckers to claim they are hated victims because they have merely difafaerent tastes than normal, men. A cannibal could make the same case, or a heroin s a le s man! Society mas* regupate the extremes ofa sexual behavior and draw clear pines 'or the. protection ofa dependent ch ild ren. Should a 4° ye.ar old man be per mitted to faucb and faondle an f year d d boy? I think not.

The l i e that child-fauckers weep over is that they are failled with natural afafaection faor the child. That, very w ell may appear to be true, but the annals ofa psychiatry are failled with case h isto ries ofa a lib i afafaections, ofa virtues neurotically selfa-imposed to justifay the la te r degenerate acts and crimes. How many sad ists contribute heavily to charity as a balm to their con sciences or as a means ofa perpetuating a hoax? And that is farankly what I faeel that the. child-fauckers are -- a hoax. Ifa their fairst thought was the ch ild ’s wclfaare, they certain ly would not suck, fauck, or faondle the genitals ofa a h airless, bio logically-unprepared prepubescent child. ' The WAM8LA ad in RTV is disgusting; i t sickens the stomach, is in bad ta ste, is on the lefat-hand path, and is a corruption ofa brotherhood. Fairies and men should ob ject wherever revolting displays are shown and show clean, moral standards and some b a lls. NAMBLA should be kicked ofafa the. roster ofa illuminated organizations and ex cluded farom the networks ofa a ll gay men and women ofa goodwill. Truly NAMBLA's advocacy ofa child-fauck ing is , faor gay men and women, the door where e v il dwells. Men with any s p iritu a l decency and the energy to speak or write, shoul.d destroy the s ile n t, eth ica l sickness which permits them to to le r a te the shame. Vegenerate advertising in RFV is sure ly keeping the Great S p iritTs blessings and bounty away farom i t . The blessings ofa the Great S p irit do not come farom a bed ofa mire. The Great White Light ofa truth is purity, not licen se. It is virtue and not hedonism. The Great White Light ofa S p irit repels child-faucking, restores balance and inspires us to higher and higher virtues to liv e by. Let it. be so! And help us to do our part!

'hen society draws the sexual line with children (it) refafects the enlightenment ofa it s people. One ofa the most disgusting faeatures ofa tne la st Indian continent has been it s wretched history ofa arranged child marriages. There is not an en light ened man in a ll ofa India who would not completely change th is old system ifa ,:P c°u£d. One ofa Annie Besant’s most poioerfaul messages farom the lectu re plat faarm m s to abolish India's ancrent, corrupt practice ot child brides.

When I was age 14 in the eighth grade, I 'uid constant Ivird-ons faor a handsome, hairy Teacher ofa mine. I could in no 'cay jus+ifay i t as an adu?t today, had he permitted me to faondle his dick, undress him, or kiss or caress him, although those were my thouglvts and the longing that tortured me then.

I judge a ''onsensual age ofa IS faor sex in the United States to be a marc ofa our enlightenment, even by

It may surprise some faolhs, but you're not supposed to fauck everyone that gives you a hard-on. It is part ofa 5

growing up to learn what you can and can't have, and the best lesson faor an adult to teach a homosexual boy is that he w ill have to faorego sex with most guys and learn to liv e within a high moral and leg a l code. For a child-faucker to plead that, his boy wanted i t means nothing and does not a lter in any way the ethics ofa the situation. Ethical men deny them selves a l l ofa the time, to liv e clean, exemplary liv e s . Nothing new here. That's the way i t has been through the ages. Tom Hudson, New York Vear Sirs: In your la s t issue there were faour refaerences to pedoplrilia, a l l ofa which were p ositiv e in nature, fending the implication that your puhf ication supports and endorses the activ ity , rather than discussion. Discussion might tend the issue ofa child abuse and molest at io t a more balanced per spective. Ignored by RFV are oppos ing opinions, ofa which'7 am one, which includes stating the psychological damage infalicted on any child ofa either gender who is the victim ofa youth-adult sexual experience. The. evidence is overtake fmingty contrary fo what is claimed by a rtic les in your magazine. Calling the a ctiv ity 'love', as RFV a r tic le s have, clouds the v ic timization and shades the. illn ess within the perpetrator. It does not diminish, however, the harm infalicted on a cfuJtd who has been a victim. One ofa the most, valuable aspects a r is ing farom the discussion ofa child abuse has been the diminishing ofa silen ce that has surrounded this disease. Your magazine's attitude, seems to ig nore altern ative thoughts concerning this issu e. Not only does this confause those who seriously do need help by suggesting afafairmation faor the act ofa child-sexual-m olestation thereby adding a climate ofa acceptance and endorsement. It also tends support to the stereotype that homosexuality and pedophilia are a singular a c t i vity. I urge you to print any m aterial that you receiv e which examines the ev i dence farom the altern ative, and yes, opposing points ofa view. I also sug gest that, you s o l i d a broader d is cussion by inviting a r tic le s farom persons who have worked in this area, or who have been, themselves, victim ized. Edward Cargos, Tennessee Keep up your good work. The piece on prison lifae/sexuality in your 10th Anniv. issue (*39) was one ofa the heaviest things I've read am/where. Yours, Richard Nilson, Whole Earth Review

|ANT I-GAY/LESS IAN VIOLENCE STUDY Respond Inq to lobbyinq by the Nat Iona Gay Task Force, the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights has begun the process of studying anti-gay/lesbian violence. At a February 11 meeting, the Commis sion agreed to encourage its State Advisory Committees to examine anti gay/ lesbian violence from an adminis tration of justice standpoint. The NGTE material described the scope of the problem, using the NOP Violence Project Survey results released last year, explained why victims of anti gay/ lesbian violence often do not report crimes to the poi ice, addressod the lack of an official response to the Issue, and recommended courses of action for the Commission to fol low. The decision to use the State Advisory Committees does not preclude 1 national Commission investigation of anti-gay/lesbian violence in the future. The NGTF Violence Project Survey, conducted in association with eight local anti-violence groups revealed among other findings that 20% of gay men and )0 t of lesbians have bean physically abused solely because they are qay or lesbian.

NON-A M A HEALTH BILL

(LOUISIANA SODOMY LAWS The ACLU of Louisiana and the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc. with support from the Crescent City Coalition, and the Louisiana Gay Political Action Committee filed suit against the Louisiana state which criminalizes sex acts between con senting adults in private, such acts are felonies with a maximum penalty of a $2,000 fine and/or five years imprisonment. The suit was brought as a class action on behalf of alI homosexual and heterosexual adults in Louisiana.

IGAY BILLBOARD IN VIRGINIA The Roanoke Valley chapter of the Virginia Gay Alliance (VGA) on Jan. 8 erected Virginia’s first billboard with a gay message. The message reads, "Gay? It’s 0.K, to talk about it" and lists the telephone number, 982-EREE. The ore-recorded telephone message begins with a "self-esteem pep-talk" tailored for the "closeted and isolated gay person" and ends with descriptions, meeting times and mailing addresses of gay and lesbian organizations in Roanoke and Lynch burg.

IOKLAHOMA LEGAL BATTLE The Center for Constitutional Rights filed a "friend of the court" brief seeking to block the efforts of the Board of Education of Oklahoma City to reinstate an Oklahoma law per mitting the firing of teachers for speaking in support of gay rights. The low was struck down by the US Court of Appeals for the 10th Cir cuit. The case wit) be argued in the Supreme Court by Laurence Tribe on behalf of the National Gay Task Force.

IGAY/ LESBI AN GAY RIGHTS BILL The Gay/Lesbian Civil Rights legis lation was reintroduced into the House of Representatives. The bill amends existing statutes to include sexual orientation in the list of protected categories in the areas of employment, hous>ng, federally funded programs and access to nub tic facili ties. Gay leaders are currently nego tiating with Senate members to identi fy a chief sponsor for the Senate version of the bill.

TEXAS STUDENTS FIGHT BACK Student Services for Lesbians/Gays and Friends has filed action in fed eral court against Texas Tech Univer sity following Tech’s denial of re gistration for the group as a student organization on campus. The suit was filed through attorneys for Texas Human Rights Foundation at the request of Lambda Legal Defense and Education A cases across the ne+1 ■ . ' discrimination against gay men and lesbi ans.

IKU8LER-R0SS CENTER Shanti Nilaya, the Elisabeth KSbier-^ Ross Center, has moved from California to its new quarters in Virginia. Write: General Delivery, Head Waters, VA 24442.

For the first time in American history a &i!1 establishing a Peace Academy has been approved by the U.S. Senate after a long battle. It ironically passed as an amendment to a bill authorizing defense expenditures ot nearly $500 billion. The National Peace Academy Campaign continues it. fight to turn the bill into law. Write: H O Maryland Ave. Nfc *409, Washington, DC 20002.

House Resolution 6051, introduced to Congress by none other than Rep. Claude Pepper (D-Fla.), would "subjeci a person to up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine for 'knowingly sell ing or offering for sale a drug, de vice or medical treatment knowing it is unsafe or ineffectual or unprQven for safety or efficacy.'" This could affect home remedies and natural medi cine while trying to protect consumers.

(HTLV-IM TEST NOT RECOMMEMDED A coalition of national gay/lesbian and AIDS service organizations re leased a joint statement initiated by the National Gay Task Force re commending that gay men not take the soon-to-be-Iiscensed test for anti bodies to HTLV-fIl/LAV, the virus believed to be associated with AIDS. It merely indicates the presence of antibodies to the HTLV-ttl virus. If a positive antibody test becomes part of your medical record, it could become justification for denial of life or health insurance in the fu ture and could also become a reason for denyinq employment. Such dis crimination would be both medically and socially indefensible.

AIDS PREVENTATIVE The Mariposa Education and Research Foundation has announced a discovery of prevent ive med icine which couId save the lives of many thousands of Americans in danger of being infected with the virus causing the deadly disease known as AIDS. A substance know as nonoxynol-9 very rapidly killed the AIDS virus in laboratory studies. In research over the past several years the Mariposa Foundation has found that its nonoxynoi-9 con taining 'Mariposa Formulation' quick ly kilts viruses and microbes in an array of most of the major sexually transmitted deseases, a partial lisi of which includes gonorrhea, herpes and amoeba infections. Dr. Bruce Voeller of the Foundation recommends that persons wishing to be better protected against the AiD^ virus use spermicidal gels or cremes containing at_ 1east 5% nonoxynoi-9 as sexual lubricants. These spermacides are widely available a+ drug stores and supermarkets and are FDA approved as safe. For further information, write: The Mariposa Foundation, P0 Box 3633", Los Angeles, CA 90036; or P0 Box 519, Planetarium Sta., New York, NY 1002 •

X X

DEST

Insectivorous birds could save our farms, like in the 1920s when an en tire division of the U.S. Department of Agriculture was devoted to Econo mic Ornithology. With the introduc tion of DDT the usefulness of birds in controlling insects was neglected. Now the search is on ana in for helpful birds. David Tresemer would like vour help in locating interstinq stories, reports, projects, and research con cerning birds in the garden or on the farm. Write: Green River Tools, 5 Cotton Mill Hill, P0 Box 1919, Brattleboro, VT 05301.

management

Integrated oest management has been He Iga and Bill Olkowski's game for a long time, but the name is brand new. The Bio-Integra I Resource Center, a Dub Iic membership orogram, publishes a quarterly journal of easy-to-understand management approaches to m ajor pest species and general information on various least-toxic control ap proaches. Write: BIRC Inc., 1307 Acton St., Berkeley, CA 94706.

F 'NE FEATHERED FRIENDS

CUT HEATING BILLS Home heating bills can be cut by a third by seamstress, carpenter, or do-it-yourselfer, writes Phyllis L. Fitzgerald In her book, ''Twelve In sula led Shades." II is published by the Urban Alternative Homestead, 818 East Chestnut St., Louisville, KY 40204 at $6 .

X PAP” TAXES farmers pay about $4.1 billion in ‘arm real estate taxes annua Iy, $5.14 million in personal property taxes, $3.8 billion in Federal and State income taxes, and about $344 million in sales taxes. That works out to about $3,600 in taxes per farm.

Soil losses, farm debt and food im ports afflict three states: Nebra ska, Tennesse and Texas, as surveyed by the Cornucopia Project affliated with Rodale Press and the Regenera tive Agriculture Association. Texas faces depletion of its groundwater source for irrigaion; Nebrasak spends $777 million to buy food outside the state because 94$ of all cropland goes to corn, wheat, hay and soybeans; while Tennessee has the highest eros ion rate in the U.S. The Cornucopia Project seeks a more regionally based regenerative food system. Its address is 33 E. Minor St., Emmaus, PA 18049.

X ORGANIC SAVINGS Organic farms cut costs 34$ per acre n°Tes °estic ides and You in reportinq on the Agricultural Productivity Act sefore the U.S. Senate. The biI I authorizes $10.5 million to research *he feasibility of converting a dozen energy-intensive farms into organic production. X

STRIKES A HERBICIDE

Information about potato pesticides and particularly Union Carbide’s TEMI j . ueinq made avaiI able in Main© by -f w ich afso encourages research ins networking on how to grow potato? wi thout chemical sc-s t ic ides and fer■iIi/or ,. '/rite: 1”• M iIhr idge

0465H.

(ARTH HEAT Using the earth to heat and cool homes is the descriptive titles of a new U.S Department of Energy publication that explains earth coils, water-coupled systems, heat pumps and other ways to cope with the extremes of America's 'temperate' climate. Write: U.S.DOE, Washington, DC 20585.

natural

ELECTRICITY

Wind, water and sunshine are used to produce electricity for homes far from power lines by Steve Willey and bis Backwoods Cabin Electric Systems. Steve offers to answer questions on electrifying small remote homes. Write Steve Willey, 8530 Rapid Lighting Creek Rd., Sandpoint, ID 83864.

TRADITIONAL SEEDS The vanaishing breed of small farms supplying traditional vegetable seeds is still extant in the Graham Center X Seed and Nursery Directory which lists non-profit organizations trying to pre serve plants of the past. With many corporations buying up seed companies (like ITT taking over Burpee), it is increasingly more difficult to find old time seeds commercially. Write: Rural Advancement Fund, PO Box 1029, Pittsboro, NC 27312.

The Environmental Protection Agency •'ill restrict the use of alachlor, a orsanto Co. herbicide sold as Lasso, mousse of data supplied by envrionmental groups claiming surface and groundwater contamination, the EPA will prohibit the use of the chemical on patotoes now and probably will im-Oj,e further controls later this year the bulk of the herbicide is used on so/bean and corn fields. Sy volume, it is the most widely used herbicide in the country.

THREE STATES HURT

masonry

STOVES

Masonry heaters have been used in Finland for hundreds of years and the tradition is being exported In the Finnish Fireplace Construction Manual written by Alfred A. Barden III (1984) These massive fireplaces radiate heat for up to 24 hours after a b u m . The book is $15. Write: Maine Wood Heat Co., Box 640 RFD 1, Morridgewock, ME 04957.

ENDANGERED SEEDS Control of seed varieties is a deli cate, pol itics-fraught issue covered in a newsletter, IGRP Report, put out by the International Genetic Kesources Program. It tries to assist genetic conservation worldwide and to monitor attempts to bring plant and animal resources under exclusive private control. Write: IGRP, PO Box 1029, Pi ttsboro, NC 27213.

WOODCRAFT CATALOG Woodcraft Suppy Corporation has pub lished its new catalog for 1985. A copy of the 100 page main catalog can be ordered by sending $3, which is redeemable with the customer's first purchase. A FREE 32-oage aupplement is also available by writing: Wood craft, PO Box 4000, Woburn, MA 01888.

PLANETARY CONGRESS

^ ^

d i r e c t o r y of g a y groups

Ron Klein is organizing a "Planetary Congress" to be held simultaneously on six continents in 1986. The conference is envisioned as being grass roots, decentralized, inclusive, co operative and global in scope and practice. Write: Ron Klein, 500 S. Roberts Rd., Bryn Mawr, PA 19010.

The 7th Edition of the Pi rectory of_ Homosexual Orqani zations and Pub IicatIons is now available at $5.75 '(including postage and handling). It covers both national and inter national listings and has an index. Write: Homosexual Information Center, 6758 Hollywood Blvd., #208, Holly wood, CA 90028. ^

PEACE PAGANS NEWS Paqans For Peace News Ietter is a monthly newsletter coming out of Ontario networking information and interests of pagans who are working in and f o r th e peace movement as well as Politically concerned pagans. tts subtitle is "The true forces of our peoole are as Earth-healers," and it is produced by Sam Wagar at Dragonfly Farm, Lake St. Peter, Ontario, Cana da K0L 2K0.

TRAVEL GUIDE The 1985 edition of Key International Guide to hotels, resorts and guest houses which welcome gay men and women can be obtained for $5 by writing: House of Leehei, Box '’130406, Coconut Grove, Ft 33233.

MAIL-ORDER HERBS the Rowan Tree is a small mail-order business orovidinq herbs for Wiccans mi Pagans who orefer qettinq their things from like-minded folk. For a free extensive price list, send a ,a h to: P 0 Box 8814, Minneapolis, MN 55408.

ALTERNATIVE RESOURCES Portable DweI Iinq Newsletter inter weaves ’primitive’ and ’space age’ technology for comfort, Iightness, and low cost. Shelters and conveniences can be easily improvised anywhere: city, farm, mountains, or travelling. Six issues (2 years) are $5 , or a sample issue is $ 1 . Write: Message Post, PO Box 190-RG, Philomath, OR 97370.

MEN 1S JOURNAL

iOUTEERN APPALACI AN BIOREGION

ALTERNATIVE PRESS DIGEST

Katudh serves the Southern Appalach ian area promoting the vision of Southern Appalachia as a sacred homeplace. This journal can be yours by •ending $10 to: Katuah, r>0 Box 873, Cu Ilowhee, NC 28723.

The Utne Reader, "the Reader’s Digest of the Alternative p ress," has devel oped a new format which fi IIs a gap for those who want someone to pick the best of the Alternative and Transfor mational articles being written. The 125-page monthly covers computerphobia, quackerv in medicine, corporate pol ^ luters, Green politics, Aquarian conspiritors, etc. it is available at $18/yr. Write: Utne Reader, PO Box 1974, Marion, OH 43305.

POETRY CONTEST Our Own announces an Equinox Poetry Contest. The contest will award $100 to the first place winner, with cash prizes to the second and third nlace winner.. Poetry must be received no ^ later than April 12, ’985. All entries are restricted to 100 lines, typed and double-spaced on 8 1/2 x H " paper. Include biographical information of 25-100 words. Write: Poetry Contest Our Own Community Press, 739 Yarmouth St., Norfolk, VA 23510.

NATURE CALENDAR The Findhorn Nature Calendar 1985 includes 14 photos "on the Oneness of Life" and is available for $7.50 plus $1 surface air mail) from The Dark, Forres IV36 0T7, Scotland.

PERMACULTURE SEEDS MAGIC JOURNAL Iron Mountain: fV JournaI 0 f Magical ReTTgion publishes poetry, fiction, articles, art, photos, interviews, satire, criticism, reviews and non fiction. Its concerns cover: femi nist theology, shamanism, Meonaganism, American Indian reliaion, sociology of religion, etc. Subs are *9,/yr. (two issues). Write: °0 Box ,’282, Boulder, CO 80306.

The International PermacuIture Seed Yearbook out! ines Bill Mo IIison’s concent of PermacuIture, which is "trying to let things function in a natural way." Permaculture goes way beyond companion planting, compost piles, and cover crops; it encourages an approach to the global eco-crisis that holds much promise. The Year book is available at $10 postpaid. Write: PO Box 202, Orange, MA 01364.

The Men’s Journal is a forum for In formation, ideas, and inspiration related to men’s issues. Its purpose is to contribute to the ’empowerment’ of men. This empowerment is envisioned as coming through a deep knowledge and experience of the inner man. The Jour nal reflects the "uniqeness and divers ity that comes from this exploration as well as the commonality we share at the center of our masculine being." Subscriptions are $8/yr. (quarterly). Write: The Men’s Journal, PO Box 545, Woodacre, CA 94973.

BROTHERSONG Brothersonq is a journal of the Brothers of the Earth, published quarterly at $8/yr. Participation in the network is ooen to males of any aqe and any culture and sexuality who are "gentle, yet strong, caring and changing males who positively acknowledge and celebrate their maleness, their connection with the Earth/Nature, to the Horned One and the Goddess, to each other, and to women as mothers, sisters, friends or lovers, and daughters, and to ^ children and all other living things. Write: Brothersonq, P0 Box 13)58 Dinkytown Sta., Minneapolis, MN 55414.

STDS REPORT DM I is offering a 24-page report entitled "Sexually Transmitted Dis eases" prepared by the National In stitute of Allergy and Infectious Disease. Send $5 to: DMI, 6513 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood, CA 91608.

GAY VEGETARIANS

^ W I S C O N S I N RURAL OUTREACH PROGRAM The United, a ’ladison, Wise, based lesbian and gay social service agency, announces the establishment of a Rural Outreach Project. The project will orovide services to gays and lesbians in the southwestern counties of Wise. The initial services are: direct ser vices to individuals; guaranteeing the rights of gays and lesbians under recently enacted state laws; assisting individuals overcome the isolation ex perienced by gays and lesbians in rural areas. The United is funded by a grant from the Chicago Resource Center. Write: Jay Hatheway, PO Box 310, Madison, W! 5370).

| MAINE AND CANADIAN SUPPORT GROUP

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA SUPPORT GROUP

I HAZARDOUS WASTE INFORMATION

Hemet, about 60 miles north of San Diego has its own gay and lesbian organization called Valley Outreach (VOR). Hemet is no exception to the often oppressive anti-gay climate of many small towns. VOR founder John Tortez felt that Hemet gays needed an alternative to going to nearby cities for support and fellowship, so he has recently organized this group. He says, "We want to be a group where friendships can develop without the pickup atmosphere of a bar." Write: VOR, PO Box 5011, Hemet, CA 92344.

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:EXAS RURAL SUPPORT GROUP The Rural Coalition is a fairly new organization for rural gays and les bians in Texas. Thev sponser four business and social get-togethers each nn a state-wide basis. The main organizer at this time is Kenn Walleranghi. He lives on a farm and has been a participant in a film about gay life. "On the Rural Route" is their organizational newsletter. The Rural Coalition is an autonomous group with in the structure of the Texas Gay/Lesin Task Force. Write: PC Box 611, Hum, TX 76627.

Five years old, Northern Lambda Nord is a rural network of lesbians, gays and bisexuals in northern Maine and NW New Brunswick as well as part of Quebec. Over the years, the group has moved from a purely social organi zation into one with a political commitment as we I i. Membership is guite diverse and there are meetings once a month. They also publish a newsletter, "Communigue", ton timer, a year and sponser several social events during the year. Write: NLN, PO Box 990, Caribou, Mf 04736.

The primary goal of Citizen's Clear inghouse is to help people who have hazardous waste probe tins in their communities. They can arm you with information, suggest sources for more, and aim you in the right direction as you deal with nub I ic offieials. Write: Lauren Sykes, Citizen's Clear inghouse for Hazardous Wastes, p0 Box 926, Arlington, VA 222)6.

(MOVEMENT FOR A NEW SOCIETY The Movement For A New Society believes that a fundamental change is needed i to control the oppression and exploi- ' tat ion apparent everywhere in every country. MNS is a network of activists committed to building a non-violent revolution, narticularly in the U.S., with local grouns in a few major U.S. cities. A monthly newsletter provides information on their activities as well as reviews of other peace or war activities across the planet. Their press, New Society Publishers, publishes books emphasizing their creed. Write: MNS, 4722 Baltimore Ave., Philadelphia, PA 19143.

A network in the Wabash River Valley bloreqion has been started by Wabash LandschaH. Activities in environ mental education and protection, com munication and integral urban housing have begun, and a Wabash Valley Bioregional Congress is in the offing Write: PO Box 1191, Lafayette, IN 47902.

| MASSACCHUSETTS MEN'S GROUP Ken Manning, a phycho+herapist, leads a men's support group In Mass. The aroun deals with issues >f sexuality, relationships, images of manhood, self esteem and the politics of being male in this society. Participation is open to both nay and heterosexual men. Write: Ken Manning, 340 Moldenwood Rd. Concord, MA 01742.

IMl IWAUKFF MEN'S GROUP The Men's Awareness Network organize' support groups for men, gatherings, and workshops. MAM is committed to assisting men who are involved in personal and lifestyle chances and supports political and legal changes that will lead to a more balanced society. Write: MAN, 428 N. far we II Ave., Milwaukee, W! 53202.

|CHICAGO MEN'S GROUP Chicago Men's Gathering is a loosely structured community of men who are frying to live with a new, healthy and positive conception of masculinity. Supporting the fundamental equality of men and women of every racf , creed or sexual orientation, they publish a newsletter and facilitate rap groups. Write: CMG, P0 Psx 11076, C t< iqo, I' 60611.

SAN FRANCISCO MEN'S GROUP AID ATLANTA

B 3 I 0 R E G I 0 N IN WABASH VALLEY

Gay Vegetarians is a small group in New York Publishing a newsletter, "Vegetarian Gayzette", and hosting a umber of meetings and events. Espousing vegetarianism, good nutrition, animal rights, lesbian & gay rights, and social activities, their annual dues are $10 which includes the bi monthly newsletter and discounts on some group activities. Write: Gay Vegetarians, PO Box 1652, New York, NY 10009.

AID Atlanta is a non-profit AIDS ser vice organiztion comprised of volun teers, health professionals, members of the general public and community leaders who provide direct services to people with AIDS, assistance to health care providers and informa tion to the public on Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. Contact: AID Atlanta, 1132 W. Peachtree St. NW, Suite 1125, Atlanta, GA 30309.

The San Francisco Men's Network is a group of men committed to breaking through their isolation as men and changing the ways they relate to each other and to women. The primary acti vity is the formation of support groups where straight, gay and bisexual men can relate to each other and their own masculinity and learn to share and grow in a caring, supportive environ ment. They have a newsletter, regular meetings and pot lucks as welt as special cuIturaI/socia I events. Write: SFMM, PO Box 421690, San Francisco, CA 94142.

▲ ^

0 00

national gay h ealth conference

.MOLE LIFE EXPO International Health Alliances will present a Whole Life E x p o on May 31 to June 1, 1985 in southern California. They plan to have over 200 spokespesons and 300 exhibits. panel discussions on tonics such as Food and Medicine, Strategies for Peace, Metaphysics and Healing, etc. as well as films, foods and classes are planned. Write: Whole Life Expo, 300 East Green St., Jasadena, CA 91101.

GAY REPUBLICANS

The Concerned Americans For Individual Riqhts (CAIR) will hold its annual meet inn in Pallas on Anri A series of workshoos, sneakers and business meetinqs are Manned. Write: A G A Y PARENTS CONFERENCE AIR, TO !'ox 53041, Washington, EX

;?00O9.

Gay men and women will have the opportunity to share ideas and exchange experiences at the 6th Annual World Conference of the Gay Fathers Coali tion International to be held in Los Angeles, Calif. May 31 thru June 2. Write: GFCI, 7985 Santa Monica Blvd., Suite 109-346, Los Angeles, CA 90046. A

EASTER CONFERENCE FOR RENEWAL

The 7 th Nat Iona ILesbian/Gay Health Conference and the 4th National AIDS Forum will be held Tune 28 thru July 1 in Washington, DC. Centering on U f them.-; of "Mainstreaming lesbian ■>nd C..V Health Cares" this year's con ^ R E N E W A B L E ENERGY SYMPOSIUM ference will address pertinent scient jf;, sot ial, emotional and organiThe 3rd Annual Renewable Energy Tech national issues. The initial results nologies Symposium and International from the first National Lesbian Health Exposition will be held on June 3 - 6 Can; Survey will also be presented. at Anaheim in California. Write: .• ito: NLCHf , Conference '8b, TO Box TMAC, 680 Beach St., Suite 428, San t h4 72, Washinqton, DC 20035. Francisco, CA 94109. ROCKY MT.

gay

HEALTH CONFERENCE

Proposals for workshops, panel pre sentations and papers are invited. All topics concerning lesbian and gay nealth will be considered, non-tradi tional as well as traditional methods. Ml

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59Q07, ATTN: Health Conference.

men and masc u l i n i t y

The Tenth National Conference on Men and MascuIinity will be on June 20 thru 23, 1985 at Washington Univ. in St. Louis, M0. The conference has grown to embrace diversity, including cultural workers, radical organizers, gay, bisexual and heterosexual people, men and women. Write: 10th National Conference on Men & Masculinity, P0 Box 24159, St. Louis, M0. 63130.

A GAY

Ar -A Y THEOLOGY PAPER

;he first Annual Northern Rocky Moun tain Lesbian and Gay Health Conference will fake place at fhe Univ. of Mon tana from April 12 - 14. The theme is specialized health care needs of lesbians and lay men, including men tal health, sexuality and lifestyles and substance abuse.

A 3-day Conference Experience of Resurrection, Ritual and Renewal will be held over Easter weekend, April 5 thru 7 at the A.R.E. Headquarters in Virginia Beach, VA. One of today's leading authorities on death and dy ing, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, will speak on life, death and transitions- Also, what the Cayce reading had to say on reincarnation, resurrection, and the concept of Jesus as the Pattern will be discussed along with the signifi cance of the resurrection theme in various non-Christian traditions. A Good Friday ceremony, a dream incuba tion ritual, an Easter sunrise ser vice, a sacred dance, and a ceremonial gift giving will be ritual tools ex plored. Tuition is $95. Write: ARE, TO Box 595, Virginia Beach, VA 23451.

Kevin Gordon will present a paper to the Catholic Theological Society of America at their Annual Meeting at the Cathedral Hill Hotel in San Fran cisco on June 7. The paper will deal with issues treated in the "Earl" Lectures: "Relicion, Sexuality and a Hermeneutics of Suspicion"; "Sexual Ethics, Suspicious Women and Other Historical Losers from the Jagged Edge"; and "Homosexuality and a Hermeneutics of Suspicion: Agenda for a New Reformation". Write: Kevin Cordon, 319 Castro St., San Francisco, CA 94114.

HISTORY CONFERENCE

"Sex and State: Their Laws - Our Lives' is the theme of the International Lesbian and Gay History Conference held July 3 thru 6 in Toronto. Being held in conjunction with the Inter national Gay Association Conference (July 1 - 7 ) , the history portion will examine "various ways in which the law, state policy and morality have restricted and control led our behavior." Write: Sex and the State, c/o Canadian Gay Archives, P0 Box 639 Station A, Toronto, Ont., Canada M5W 1G2.

HERBAL WORKSHOPS PEACE MARCH The War Registers league is calling for a march on Washington on Anri I 20 with other events and programs scheduled around the march from Anri I 19 to 32. The issues featured a*-.;: 8ton U.S. military intervention in Central America; Create .jobs bv cutting the military budoet; freeze and reverse the arms race; and Oppose U.S. government and corporate SUROOrt for South African apartheid and over come racism at home. Write: WRL, 339 Lafayet te St., New >ork, NY I'NL’.

<)> HEALTH WORKSHOP "Charting Your Own Course To a Healthy Lifestyle" is the title of a week-long workshop at the ARE in Virginia Beach on June 16 - 21. Based mainly on the Edgar Cayce psychic readings, some 15 resource people will help participants gather information and share ideas related to nutrition, exercise, dreams, and demonstrations and lectures. Non member (ARt) conference fees are $195; accomodations are not included. Write: ARE, P0 Box 595, Virginia Beach, VA 23451.

Two sessions are being offered of a most unusual herbal studies orogram this summer. Paul Beyer 1, author of The Master Book of Herbal ism and The Holy Books of the Devas will conduct two sessions of a 40-hour journey through the magickal uses of herbs. This will be a residential program with limited soace available for sleeping, tents, and accomodations. Tuition is $50. Write (with a SASE): Beyer I's School of Healing - Summer Studies, PO Box 8814, Minneapolis, MN 55408; (612) 871-7287.

V GAY Ml-’ ' WEEK IN ENGLAND A May Men’s Week, sponsored by the Wild lavender Housing Co-operative, is to be held fro m Friday, June 7 fo Fri day, June M at Lauriston Hall, a large co-ooerative conference centre and working farm near Castle Douglas, Ki rkudbrightshire in Scotland. More details available from: Wild Laven der, i Vicars Road, Harshills, Leeds, Yorkshire, England LS3 5AS.

T ^ N E W ENGLAND GAY OUTDOOR CLUB The Chi Itern Mountain Club is an all volunteer, non-profit recreation club sponsored by lesbians and gay men. It offers involvement for all peoole, regardless of expertise, in a wide variety of activities: hiking, camping canoeing, bicycling, running, skiing, ice skating, showshoeing, birdwatching volleyball, basketball, pot-luck sup V pers, and more. Members receive a monthly newsletter which includes a calendar of events. Annual dues are $10. Write: Bliss Woodruff, 25 Fulton St., Nashua, NH 03060.

\7 GAY-LES3IAN CHRISTIANS The Gay-Lesbian Christian Fellowship is an inter-denominational Christian V support group. GLCF seeks to meet the social and spiritual needs of gay people, their friends and families in an atmosphere of love, trust, and mutual commitment. Deeply committed to Christian values, it provides support and guidance for Christians in reconciling their faith with their sexuality. It also works with churches in encouraging better understanding of homosexuality. GLCF seeks to reach V out to isolated and lonely gays in rural areas by creating local support groups as well as bv forminq support qrouos for gays in urban and suburban areas. Write: GLCF-NationaI, P0 Box 1204, WaI dor f, MD 20601.

CAROLINA FARM STEWARDSHIP !he Carolina Farm Stewardship Assoc, is a membership association of farmers, gardeners, businesses, and consumers who are concerned about the health of the land, the life it sustains, and the quality of the food it produces. Members work together to encourage the development of an agricultural system which is both ecologically and economically sound. Dedicated to rebuilding the soil and protecting it for future generations, CFSA seeks to reduce the use of chemicals and non renewable resources. Established in 1980, CFSA provides a network for mutual support and informa tion among its members. Annual dues are $8 . Write: CFSA, Rt. 1 Box 397, F rank IinviIle, NC 27248.

LAN0 STEWARDSHI P The Land Stewardship Project, already working in four states, plans to ex tend its soil conservation efforts this year to North Dakota and Arkan sas. It mobilizes farmers, ministers, and the media to create a sustainable land ethic. Activities are covered i n The Land Stewardsh ip Let ter, 1717 University Ave., St. : I, MN 55104. Subs are $12/yr.

HAWAII

V V V

IN APR IL

The All Island Gay-Bi-Lesbian Gather ing will be held on Aori I 17 thru 21 at Kalani Honua on the Big Island of Hawaii. The cost is 65 per day plus $10 for food ner day. Write: Roth Sides Now, PO Box ^593, Kailua-Kona, HI 96745.

OZARKS IN SPRING

NEW YORK SPRING The Spring Faerie Gathering In Pinebush, NY will be held on April 12 thru 15. Tents are unnecessary, as" indoor space will be rented. For information, write: Rafael, 5' / Rugby Rd., Brooklyn, NY 11230; or call: (718) 462-0149 in New York; (617) 424-1490 in Boston (Bruce); and (607) 272-7752 in Ithaca (Tom).

Manitwo Farm Sanctuary will host a spring gathering focusing on the theme V NATIONAL PAGAN SPIRIT GATHERING of Building Self Awareness and Self The National Pagan Spirit Gathering Esteem. For more information, send will be held at a wilderness rampS.A.S.E. to: Jim Long and Josh Young, ground in southwest Wisconsin on Manitwo Farm, Rt. 4 Box 256, Oak Grove AR 72660. June 13 thru 25. It Is sponsored by Circle to bring Pagans from many places and paths together to share knowledge and energy and experience the mag Iok SH0RT MOUNTAIN SPRING of Nature. Write: Circle, PO Box 210, Mt. Horeb, Wl 53572. Short Mountain Sanctuary will host a Rites of Spring and Beltane Bash, a Faerie Gathering for Lesbians, Gay V A N N I N G WATER SUMMER SOLSTICE Men and Children on Friday, April 26 to Sunday, May 5. The 200-acre wooded The Summer Solstice Gathering at subsistence farm in central Term, will Running Water in western North Caro be the site. A $20 advance registra lina wi II be on June 21 - 25. The tion fee is requested for the nine days suggested donation is $55 oer person, plus $5 per day for food (negotiable) This includes vegetarian meals and and other espenses. The ’gate’ fee is registration. Save $5 and pre-regis $25 (plus food). However, no one will ter. Write: Running Water, Rt. 1, be turned away for lack of money. Box 127-E, Bakersviiie, NC 28705; (704) 688-2447. Write: Short Mountain Sanctuary, Rt. 1 Box 98-A, Liberty, TN 37095. V C A N A D I A N PAGAN MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND IN NEW ENGLAND A Gathering for Life on Earth will be held at Dragonfly Farm on the weekend The long Memorial Day weekend offers of July 19 - 22. The gathering will a unique opportunity for gay and bi be focused around spiritual/poI 11fcaJ sexual men of all aqes, backgrounds synthesis, networking of Pagan politi and outlooks to gather in the safe, cal activists and activities, and relaxed, open, nurturing and welcoming worship of the Gods as immanent in space Rowe Conference Center offers. our visions of social change. It will This retreat is for young and old, also be a time for people to have fun, singles and couples, politically active make friends and sing together. and apolitical, rural and urban, all races and religions, the shy and the For more information, write: Pagans outgoing to spend time together free for Peace, c/o Sam Wagar, Dragonfly from the usual games, fears and in Farm, Lake St. Peter, Ontario KOI 2K0, securities. The Coordinator is Allen Canada. Young, a writer and editor. Other resource neople will be John Calvi, a massage therapist and musician, and Bill Pellicio, a therapist, and V MIDWEST MEN’S FESTIVAL Charlie Washburn, a nay father and recreation leader. Costs are on a The Fourth Annual Midwest Men’s Festi sIi d ino sea Ie. val will be held on August 15 thru 19 (Thurs. thru Mon.) at Camp Pin Oak, Lake of the Ozarks State Park. For The dates are May 24 thru 27. Write: information, write: Art Shephard, Rowe Conference Center, King’s High way Road, Rowe, Mass. 01367; (4 ’3 ) 4109 Ken wood St., Kansas City, MO 339-4216. 64110.

♦GREEK POETRY M< !• cr, < r <>'.!k 1■■ •‘ ., i "Kin th Iy m,v)r!7ine of modern Greek poetry in tran', la >•>,!,, i . ava iI■r l • for "r> pI ir, s<‘If- iddr ossed, stunned envelone from Rf iliiii'. Lil-rvif , / 7AS Mon ter ev Hwy., S in .1; , CA , 9f>111.

♦ FRAMELINE The nth 9an Francisco International

Lesbian and Gay FiIn Festival wiI I be held June 24-50. The festival is sponsored by Frame line and entries may tv submitted up to April 10th. !<;r inf.rmut ion contact: Framo Iinet Film, . . uox ]d70?, Fan Francisco, (A, qv*HA, or call (415)

♦ TOM WILSON WEINBURG ♦ Ten '''croon t i}ev i°w will open in Tost on at the Ar Imotor St, Church on March I m d r 11m " i*oh , 17 , 27 , 2 *, S , or, m d Anri I 17, H , 1", in, 0, M , , :, • ■■ '' ’. *' ir 7s and musi; ire hv 'on w i Ison Weinhum. r I Iiot 'i i -,s IW, 'in. author-, JOOV Or innen, md C'hin Wh ito-°or tnoy are featured m T i o r v r s . The show heni ns :.i q Ticket . ire ava i I 7' '■o at Clad Hav looks tore and Gostix it *’T for- Fri. and '.at. performances and l> f;ir '■ cor w n ic-ts, Iho A r i '■ rton Street Church is on the corner of Toy is ton and ArI inn ton Streets in Bosfon. For in formation/reservatiqns call :42-5f-22.

RON 12

PAUL

For the last few years she has been claying, informally and formally, for enthusiastic audiences in concerts around unstate Mew York (where she lives) and at folk and women's music festivals all over the country. She recently released her first album, Somewhere netween, a lively, thoughtful collection of "original, traditional and contemporary songs which display a great sense of humor, a nusto for living and a love for women....Susan's voice is big and wide; she sings it right out!" (Ladyslipoer Cataloo, 1985)

Th e Banjo Player Truth in her fingers Iight in her eyes love on her Iins a I ive, and she knows why.

The title cut, a re-write of a Malvina Reynolds song with the same name, is a pithy and humorous reminder of the need for tolerance and compassion for ourselves and each other as we face the necessity of sometimes overwhelming trans itions and transformations. The album includes aptly revised versions of "More Pretty Girls Than One"," Know Where I'm Going" (re-titled "I Don't Know Where I'm Going), "Why Do You Bob Your Hair, Girls?" and "Irene." Another revision, "I'm Not Too Fat," is a rare, welcome and very funny affirmation of fat folks that is not at the exp'ense of thin folks. "Peace Camp," to the tune of "Downtown," tells part of the story of the Women's peace Encampment in Romulus, New York. Three very moving original nieces by Graetz and songs bv Malvina Reynolds, Ruth pelham and Richard Farina round out the album.

Susan Graetz was born on January IS, 1930, and is croud to share her birthday with Martin Luther Kina and 'teg Christian, amonq others. As a child and teen-ager her main nroiect was to qet qood orades. She took niano lessons from her classical nianist mother, Phyllis '*055 , for a short, emotionally intense oeriod, and later studied classical flute for a while. But mainly she qot qood grades. In college she continued to qet good grades, and started to play guitar, to sing, and to write an occasional song. Her good grades got her into graduate school. In 1973, after 25 years of school, she finally emerged with a BA, an MA and a Ph.D. in psychology, and a slightly squished spirit.

In addition to Susan Graetz on guitar, banjo and voice, the album features Kay Gardner on flute, Cam Sawzln on cello, Maggie Rizzi on electric bass, Martha Leader on fiddle, John Curtis on guitar, mandolin and banjo, and a starstudded studio chorus of thousands (well, fourteen).

Since then she has been discovering that laughing and singing with other people not only is fun, but also offers a constructive alternative to violence in the resolution of human differences. These days Susan sings, nlays banjo and guitar, writes an occasional song, and plays a lot of wonderful sonas by other people. She is noted for her witty, insightful adaptations of traditional and contemp orary folk sonqs. The twinkle in her eye and the apparent simplicity of her lyrics are reminiscent of Malvina Revno Ids.

Somewhere Between is available on album or cassette from On Our Way Productions, P.0. Box 6411, Ithaca, N.Y, 14851. Send $9.00 per record/cassette. N.Y.State residents please add 1% sales tax.

If the prevailing attitude in the entertainment industry that vou can't be open Iy gay and be successful were true, R0MAN0VSKY & PMILLIDS would probably not exist at all. In just two years their reputation has nrown tremendously, marked by frequent appearances coast to coast, consistently glowing reviews, and the release of their 31bum, I Thought You'd Be Taller!, on their own label. Fresh Fruit Records.

RON & PAUL ♦ ON THE ROAD (check local listings for time, nI ace and ticket prices) March 30, Chicago, IL: Onal Station (312) 761-6685 March 31, Rloominnton, IN: University of Indiana Anri I 10, Teaneck, N.J. : St. Marks rnisconal m n i Ag?_H°4

I O

Their first Performance was a benefit for the California Nuclear Freeze Initiative. Shortly thereafter they became regulars at the Valencia Rose's highly successful Gay Comedy Night. Without aspiring to be a comedy team, they soon developed a following for their witty and insightful sonqs about the joys and absurdities of beino gay. Before long they were performing their own full concerts md receiving offers to perform all over the country.

Apri I 12, Durham, M .C.: Southeastern Conference April 13, Rochester, N.Y.: Xerox Auditorium C 7K') 244*3640

RON RQMANGVSKY is a self-taught musician who began writing songs at the age of fifteen. Four years later ho movel to San Francisco and began eerforminn. Inspired by the strong network of women musicians producing their own records and concerts in the Bay Area, and excited by the emergence of artist-controlled music, he recognized the need among gay men to also sing sonas re(event to their lives. An aftemnt it forming a men's music collective resulted in a collaboration with lyricist Gene Porter on the rock onera THF CITY: 1977-78 A.D., for which he composed the entire scor-.

April 24, Toronto, Canada The R ivoIi (^16) 596- 1903 ’’ay 3, Chicane, IL: Curtis Hal I/Fine Arts Bldg. May 6 , Milwaukee, 71: The Finale (414) 372-6664 May 10, St. Louis, M0

PAUL DMILLIDS grew u p studying piano and singing in choirs. After high school, he went on to study music at a conservative Christian college in the midwest. It was in this environment that Paul decided he had to come out. Two and a half years later, he was still the only openly guy person on campus. |e ft school and moved *0 Bloom ington, Indiana, whore -e bo arr. involved in an anti-gay discrimination case which lasted a year and a half but ended in a stalemate. He moved to Manhattan and then to 5an Francisco, where he met Ron. They fell in love and six months later began writing and performing together.

May 12, Des Moines, IA: Ingorsoll Theatre May 79, Denver, CO:

Tracks (303) 777-6197 June 1, Stockton, CA June 7, Las Vegas, N' : Grand Bat Iroom, Univor

‘y Nevada, L.V.

(Continue.'4)

Although one critic described them as the "darlings <V the gay cabaret scene", Ron and Paul orefer to think of themselves as the oddballs of the cabaret scene. Instead of molding themselves after the average torch song entertainer, they have carved out their own territory by sinning about their lives ooenly, honest Iv and with humor, This uncompromising quality combined with their diverse musical backgrounds makes their performance an insnirinq and entertaining '^rri oe -c for a II and ionces .

The binnest disapnointment I have about this album is something that can't be heloed. There is a visual component to a R*D concert— an electricity and infectious excitement— that can't be reproduced on vinyl. I miss the rose in the teeth with which paul begins the "prince Charming Tanqo." You never know what to expect on staqe, so some of the magic live-ness is not here. Thev make un for it, however, with delivering some of the technical magic a studio can offer that concerts cannot: tight and clean accomnaniment that enhances the melodies and lyrics without overoowering them. My favorite has to be "Womb Envy," written by Ron but sung by Paul with such conviction you'd swear it was his. It skillfully blends male maternal yearnings with the notso-subtIe kick aimed at the Freudian school of thought and its clinical insistence on transforming human experience into mindless urges, having great fun all the while. Here is where studio technological means gives us "The ph iIlips Sisters," and the impact of Paul singing, ^ "it's been done in test tubes, then why not inside of me?" while the sisters chime in "why not in me?" is hilarious: Womb envy, I know it's kinda strange Womb envy, d lease give me labor gains Womb envy, I know it's kind of crazy I got womb envy, I wanna have a baby Most of the Ivrics are by Ron, and his skill with thounhtful ballads is considerable. "Rest Friends" and "Closet Case" have a way of makina themselves at home in your thoughts and I find myself humming them at odd moments. "Living in the Nuclear Age" is a quiet beautv, very single and lilting, movinq from despair to emoowerment in the snace of a few verses. SimDlis+ic, maybe, but keening the S in g le vitality of living and celebratinq is an increasingly important and difficult thing to do in these dangerous days.

A RECORD REVIEW BY O

GARY WILSON

All in all, a warm and engaging album, a very respectable first effort for these two, I think you'll find "I Thought You'd Be Taller!" on your turntable often. Buy it, share it with friends, but heed the warning: "Unauthorized duplication of this album represents a loss of income to us, ultimately resulting in our inability to afford new rh inestones for PauI."

Someone said, "The love that once dared not SDeak its

"I Thought You'd Be Taller!" is available on album and cassette for $8.95 frorr Fresh Fruit Records, 2269 Market Street, #301, San Francisco, CA, 94114

r.tno now doesn't know when to shut up." However true this may or may not be, I’m still hunqry enough for messages of celebratory gaydom that I will ignore small shortcomings that might otherwise grab my attention.

So it may be with some initial undeserved acclaim that I laud Ron Romanovsky and Paul phillios’ "I Thought You'd Re Taller," but not much; this is one of the most celebra tory and least self-conscious gay-oriented musical statements !fv© ever heard, '"one are the days when the message, and the humor, stem from gav-second-class latitudes. Por is the humor here of the traditional time-worn camo-stvle we alt know and either love or hate. •that's here Is a variety of sonns presented from a per sneotive of assumed right-to-be. Whatever guilt or ■ ys< that comes through here is born not c f who we are, ‘ ;f what we do to each other. Put I dioress; oI ease , , ,se the heavy analysis here. After all, what this album is about Is fun, and whatever else they do, RV> know how to have fun. title song, do Ii vorod with the ieliberate tongue in<heel- gravity and dramatic flair, is a delightful exnose of'how wo set ourselves up in looking for Mr. Right and gets us laughing at ourselves for it: I thought you'd bo taller I thought you'd be rich I didn't think you'd be moody And at times such a bitch. I thought you'd be hapoy And never cortn Ia in Out you're SO neurotir You make me feel sane!I Ir.ar not, the song ends haonily, with acceptance of the foibles and human faults wo all have. 14

Dear Mvst i: Vour Mystification may be related to the way you're trying to explain thinqs. You say that you like to "get fucked" in addition to enjoying sex with men who are black. Rut it is by no means "in addition" that the man is black. What your friend is tellinq you wouldn't be so mysterious if you didn't separate who you're having sex with from how you like to do it. But, you're not alone in this. Historically, white people in the U.S. (both men and women) have enjoyed having black men perform for them sexually. Black men have been given (and to some extent adopted) this role in the sexual division of labor since the time of slavery in this country. While black men were being exploited in this way, black women in turn were victims of rape and all kinds of sexual abuse (bv white men in particular). This history is part of a II interracial relations and cannot be denied simply because you may not have intended to do this. Being mystified in the face of this long history of black people's oppression is, like it or not, an attempt to cover over these social realities. But let's talk sex! Doesn't it seem somewhat exploitative fo insist that all you really want to do and insist on doing (to the extent you can get your partner to go along with it) is to lay back, so-to-sneak, and enjoy It. What about what your partner may want? Does that matter? Certainly he may enjoy getting Into this and doing what you want him to do. On the other hand, he may not en|oy oerforming in this canacity aM[ the time. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;might want you to do some of the work. the posture you assume with the man you like so much, on your own account, identifies him first and foremost as a 'black man', which loosely translated means identifying h m as a 'stud'. Let's take a closer look at what a stud Is atud' Is defined as a male animal (usually a horse), kept for the purpose of breeding. When translated into sexual terms, the 'male animal' we call a stud is someone who endures sexually: he stays hard, he moves vigorously, and he hangs in there no matter what. He is treasured for his Dtoency and virility. The popular sexologists of our time talk about this issue psychologically and assume heterosexuality. For them, a man is a stud when he performs well in bed but is unable (because of psychological problems) to get close to the woman he is having sex with. lor the black men, at particular moments in history, functioning as a stud may have meant survival. At other moments, it may have been the only means for upward mobility. Many black men explicitly organize their sexuality in this way. They think to be a real man in a white man's world, you have to be on top in the sexual competition. What's so exploitative is that this basis is the only basis that black men are allowed to compete on. Radical sexologist Freda Rosen is a controversial lesbian social therapist, political activist, and community orqanizer, who writes "Sexually Speakin'.", a regular column 'n National Alliance Weekly. She has a large clinical nracHce at the Mew York Institute for Social Theranv and Desearch, specializing in sexual problems and intimacy. Freda says, "You don't know what really good sex is until you try it from the Left".

Dear Freda; ' am a gay white man who's very attracted to black men. In addition, when having sex, usually all I want to do is get fucked (anal sex). I like it done to me; I don't like to do it. Recently | started to see a black man who I like a lot, and he seems to like me. We're also very sexually attracted to each other. The thing that bothers me is that the other day he said that the way I have sex with him is racist. I don't understand.

For you to be compllcit in maintaining that way of relating is profoundly racist and thereby enormously hurtful to your friend and your capacity for intimacy. What might be helpful is for you to recognize that there j_s this racist dynamic in your relationshipâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; not that you created it but that the current organization of the relationship perpetuates this dynamic. That's what has to change. It's certainly going to take some work to break out of that s fereotypicaI racist way of relating. And keen Jh mind that this way of relating is not .limited to merely vour sexual relating. There' nothing mystifying about racism, so don't be confused. If you're mystified by what your partner is tellinq you, ask him for help in understanding. seems to me that your friend could teach you something about this if you would let him. Refusing to learn from him is what we would call racist. Address letters to: Freda Rosen National AI Iiance 216 W. 102nd St. New York, N.Y. 10025.

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A SYMBOL OF CONTINUING LIFE

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Compos t: mainly barn-yard beddinn, manure, straw, hay, and layers of soil. -1 1/2 feet high, 6 feet wide, ^5 feet long

One can easily conclude that a healthy soii will produce a healthv plant, as long as the other environmental factors such ts light, warmth, adequate moisture, drainage, and aeration are supplied to the growing nlant.

A gardener's compost heap can be built up gradually, which is usually the case with kitchen compost from a small household. Keen two trash pails in the kitchen: one for tin, plastic, and paper, and the other for compostable items such as vegetable scraps, hair, coffee grounds, and any thing that will decompose. Out in the yard save all grass clippings, leaves, and all of the old remains from the previous gardening season. Even the neighbors will be happy to help you cart away their mowings and Takings from their yard. If there is a horse stable nearby, or a farm, by all means collect all the manure they are willing to sacrifice. The best comoost comes from the widest mixture of material that is available, especially manure.

Compost is more than a fertiliser! It is a healing aqent for the soil's wounds, and a symbol of ongoing life. The compost made by the gardener is an intensified version of a process that Nature herself is busy with in the forest or a meadow. The leaves that fall, the grass that dies, and the animals who contribute their own manure, and even tually their own bodies, is Nature's way o f rebuilding the fertility of the earth. A very 'replenishing cycle', Nature's own best effort has become the 'heart' of the organic method for gardening and farming.

The volume of the heao will denend on the amount of mater ial available, but the actual dimensions of the heao are limited bv physical and environmental reouirements of the decomnosition nrocess, if it is to no successfully. A heao that is too hi oh and wide will nrevent air from nenetratino to the core, and an anaerobic fermentation wiI I occur, leadinn to nutrification and verv noor humus. 'Teorae Corrin from '-/ales, U.K., states from many years of experience that the dimensions below are best suited for a comnost in an average, tomnerate, moist climate.

will increase. The tilth will improve, and the Physical condition will be looser if one's soil is clayey. ■•Vaterholding capacity will be improved if one's soil is sandy. Plants will be healthier, and there’s no question that they will taste better. Plants will be sunplied with a more 'balanced' diet, and will be more resistant to dis ease-causing factors, such as viruses, bacteria, or fungal attackes. Once a sound fertility has been established, the garden can be maintained with smaller amounts of compost. <,Oic, S N O OCt>

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The site of the hean should be verv well drained, and forked open to allow for drainage, aeration and the movement of earthworms and other organisms to creen into the heao. Thev are vital to the heao's breakdown! A suonly of water should be nearby for moistening the layers as the comnost is being built, as well as to moisten the hean during the dry summer months. Biological processes occur quicker when adequate moisture is supnlied to organic matter. The site of the hean should be under nartial shade as the rays of the sun will draw out all of the moisture and drv out the hean. Shelter, by either a hedgerow or trees, is best to block out cold, drying winds. Always keen in mind that we are imitatina the soft, warm, moist condition that lie iust beneath the decaving leaves of the forest floor. 'then and ^ow to Anoly Comnost The condition of the comnost will determine if it's 'rfne' enough to annly to the garden. If one can recognize any material within the hean, it is not its time vet. With your snadinq fork, comnletely invert and toss around the hean, but rebuild it by layers once aqain. A heao should never be 'thrown' together as the word "hean" may imoly. if a handful will crumble in one's hands and have a oleasant aroma, then most likelv the comnost is ready.

In conclusion, I realize much more can be said about com nost but I forced myself to focus only on the practical side. I would be nI eased to hear from anyone with dif ferent annroaches and varied techniques. I will answer, when possible, any specific questions, or throw some light on a nroblem one may be facing. The response to the first edition of "Gardening Vision" warmed mv heart. It feels great being connected with yog through RFD. -v' " Dear Earth, Dear c-un, Jm ?.W 1 By You we live. To You our Loving Thanks we give.

A few good refernces:

To enrich the garden beds, the ideal time to annly comnost 'S 5-8 weeks before nI anting time. Work the humus well into the top four inches of the bed with a hoe.

1) Gardening For Health and Nutrition an introduction to the method of bio-dynamic gardening Philbrook, John and Helen 1971 Rudolf Steiner Publications

To the trees in the orchard, an annual layer of comnost about 1/2-1 inch thick is sufficient. p lace the compost starting from about two to three feet away from the trunk, all the way out to the 'drip line' underneath the ends of the branches.

2) Fertility Without Fertilizer Hi IIs, Lawrence D. 1975 Henry Doubleday Research Association 31 GeisteswissenschaftIiche Grundlagen zum Oedeihen der Landwi rtschaft (Agriculture: A series of lectures given in 1924) 1974 Bio Dynamic Agricultural Association

f lowers Iove comnost annlication, esnecially acid soiIIovers like azaleas and the entire rhododendron family, berries and small fruit also will annreciate some compost. For potted flowers, always mix 2/3 rich soil with 1/3 comnost.

4) The Complete Book of Composting The Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening Rodale and Staff 1975 Rodale Press Inc

Unfortunately, there isn't enough room here to state all ^he benefits of comnost. It wiI I go beyond the scone of this reoort to delve into 'oil ’ticrohiolony. See for your self. Your beds will bec-imo darker, richer, flqffier, easier to work, mo is cr in the drv weeks and drier in the wet season as the infiltration and oercola+ion of water

5) Grow a Garden arid Oe Self-Sufficient Pfeiffer, Ehrenfried 1981 Mercury Press

PRISON CENSORSHIP OF GAY BOOKS

WASHINGTON GAY PRISONER GROUP

NY PRISONERS UNION

The American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania (ACLU) and Giovanni's Room, a Philadelphia bookstore spec ializing in gay, lesbian, and femin ist publications, announced that they are askinq the Federal Bureau of Prisons to reverse an order of Allenwood Federal Prison Superintendent 0 . r. Lansi nq, re ject inq an entire packaqe of books and periodicals ord ered by a orison inmate, on the around that they all contain 'sexually exoIi c it materi a I' oos inq a danqer to prison security.

Gays at Washington State Fen have a new Gay Organization there. They still struggle for recognition at WSp .

Ronald Davidson (Box 500, 76A1166, Elmira, NY, 14902-500) is trying to establish a New York Prisoners Union. "Prisoners only earn about a dollar a day, and therefore their products can be sold at prices no union shop or minimum-wage shop could meet." Making license plates, soap, stop signs, nightsticks, etc., never re habilitated a robber, rapist, or thief. But therapeutic, educational, and meaningful vocational nroqrams will help to realize this goal. Cer tainly, it is worth the effort, as little else will prepare these pris oners to return to society as useful ci ti zens.

Included in the package are issues of two Philadelphia weekly newspapers, several novels by major publishers, including a university press, and an ACLU handhook on the legal rights of homosexuaIs, wh ich conta in no 'sexuaI Iy exp Ii < it materia I'.

The organiztion's name is D.R.A.G.S., which is Discrimination Revolution Against Gay Sexism. It is an antiracist, free-Ioving organization. Letters of support could be directed to Larry Kincheloe, Supt. of WSP, P0 Box 520, Walla Walla, WA, 99362. Legal advice and letters for the group can be forwarded to the vicepresident Michael "Michelle" Sellars, 634034-F-3-IMU, PO Pox 520, Walla Walla, WA, 99362, or Nichole Rettinqer 287570-D-12-8, D0 Box 520, Walla Walla, WA, 993^2 •

AClU Legal Director Stefan Presser notes that the items in the packaqe could not have received the individual ized review required by federal regu lations before printed material can be barred from a prison.

DFLAWARE PRISONER PROJECT

Under the Bureau's own guidelines, materials providing news and infor ms Hon, such as publications covering the activites of gay rights organizations and qay religious qroups, are to be allowed In prisons, and literary works 'should not be excluded solely because of homosexual themes or refer ences.' The prison's action was unex pected, according to Fd Hermance, co owner of the bookstore. The seizure could be the irbitrarv act of one cen sor or the result of a policy change, Hermance explained.

The GLAD Prisoner Project was formed in response to letters from gay in mates in the Delaware Correctional Center in Smyrna complaining of phy sical abuse and discrimination.

Federal prison requia+ions allow the publishers of rejected material to ob tain an independent Bureau review of a ujpt r intendont's decision, and the publishers of several of the books banned have already requested such a rev ie w .

The project hopes to eventually work

SURVIVAL NETWORK

GLAD Prisoner Project c/o John Ward PQ Box 974 Wilmington, DE 19699

The Survival Network of orison activ ists, anarchists, and native support groups has moved from New Orleans. Their new address is °0 Box A150, Kansas City, KS, 6 6 l06. The irreaular newsletter of the S.N. is an invalu able source of information about pris on activism, especially the native prisoners' struggles.

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Dela ware has begun an outreach to he In gay and lesbian prisoners in the state.

The project is now writing and inter viewing these prisoners, contacting the prison authorities, and network ing with other concerned individuals and prisoner advocates. The project also hopes to begin a Pen Pal proqram for prisoners seeking contact with those 'outside'. as an advocate for the rights of gay prisoners in the state in qeneral. The Prisoner Project seeks to net work with other organizations doinq similar work and encouraaes all qay and lesbian prisoners in the state to write. Contact:

MAIL FRAUD There are two (2) men here at Westville Correctional Center who obtained ad dresses from my cooy of RFD, and I have learned that they are now conducting a mail fraud on the people they have contacted. I do not agree with this. It is hard enough for a qay in prison, without someone takino away what little supnort there might be from the out side gay community. Neither of these men are gay nor do they have any in tention of meeting any of the men they are writing, upon their release. Please notify the people reading your magazine that any contact with either of these men should be kept at a bare minimum and should not include any financial gratuities. Their names are: Duane L. Hayes Phi I Edwards I apologize for the inconvenience that this may cause and I sincerely hope that you can notify your readership before someone gets hurt. Sincerely, A Friend at Westvi lie, IN.

ll-'‘.uAt'iCLlLon&: deXcuZi $nom gnapkici by Len PUchaKdion. 18

Mlonm? Order Seem

Pnrehmen

BY AN INMATE WHO CARES Farchman is the name of the Mississippi State Penitentiary located at Parchman, MS. ’ Iwould like to specify that this article Is being written by an inmate here at the State Drison who has first-hand knowledge of this scam. The money order scam has been going on for years and has taken its toll on many, many unsuspecting and innocent people, such as yourselves. Millions of dollars were made by inmates here just last year usinq this very scam. There are several methods in which this is done. I would say that the most used method is as follows: first, the inmate will take and send his name to a Gay maga zine, or other publication, seeking pen-pals. Usually the description that he qives of himself is phony. When he re ceives replies from his ad, he starts to work. He will answer all of the replies with some tvne of hard-luck story or he will sav that he owns a lot of land or material things worth a lot of money. Me will usually wait until the second ■'r fh ird letter and then ask for your nhone number. The victim or intended victim of his little scam, wanting to be the inmate's friend, will usually send his phone number to 1lm- The inrr,ate Then calls vou collect, and you and the in mate have a nice little chat. The second or third call the inmate will usually tell you that if he could qet someone fo help him pay a fine that he owes to the court, he could get out. He tells you that he has money in his account but the only way that he can qet it out is in the form of a money order, and the court will not accept a money order. He wi II tell you that you are the only one he has to help him and would you PlEASF cash the monev order(s) for him. He will promise you anything. He will also tell you that if you would like for him to, he will get his case manager here to call you and verify that he does have the money and that the policy of the Department of Corrections is to only release money from an inmate's account is by money orders. The case manager will then ask you if you would be willing to help +h 15 lr|mate, and, if so, he will see to it that the money orders are sent to you, to be cashed for the inmate. The case manager or inmate will tell you to send the money by Western Union (usually) or by mail to his attorney of record, which will be one of the inmate's friends in the Free World noi an attorney). It could even be an officer who works here. The case manager I refer to is only another inmate, win is noinn to qet nart of the money for his help and not — s 11 erf|P Ioy ee. Usually you're feeling sorry for the inmate and want to help him. You will accent the word of the phonv case manaoer and accept the monev order(s). The amount of the money orders are usually *481.00 or *>500.00, but the amount will vary.

0nce you accent the money orders, cash them and send the money to where the inmate or case manager has specified, you !'nd °ut tha+ the money orders weren't any good. tfou are ren left with the burden of nayinq them off or possibly icing criminal prosecution. The inmate has the money for Hin I dope or other things he wants. Once he has it, you /1' 1 r'over ^ear from him again. You have been taken. The nmafe is laughing at you and really enjoying your money.

He will be telling his friends, "Man, I beat that dude. He wasn t nothing but a Big Waterhead or Sucker." In other words, he's saying that you were really stupid. Please take any type of write to an back up and only trying scam.

my advice and do not even think about accepting money order from an Inmate. In fact, if you inmate and he even mentions 'money orders', don't continue writing to him, because he is to beat you. Please do not fall victim to this

This type of thing is what really makes it hard on sincere inmates, such as myself, who really do not have any friends or family on the streets and do not receive any mail...the ones who are really seeking a true trlendshio through writing to pen-pals.

BY JAMIE FLOLID l have a bit of story to tell my brothers and sisters out there about the inmates in this prison in California. A black guy that sleeps next to me leaned over and asked what type of magazine I got. So, being quite open around here, I told him. Mow I don't normally pass it around to the straight crowd around here mostly, I guess, out of selfish ness. So I passed it to him, and when I returned in about two hours, there was quite a crowd around him reading it. That in itself is not bad, but what followed is. They were a II, drool inq over the Contact Letter section in the back of #41. And if that wasn't bad enough, some of the guys were writing down some of the addresses. Mow sofae of them may be undercover homosexuals and others just might be out to rin off some of you out there. This I truly hope doesn't happen. Let me tell you about some of these lonely and desnarate straiqht men in here. Many live for letters from anyone that will write, and others live for the money and packages that they can con people I ike ourselves out of. AlI are alone in many re spects. I can see the hidden tears they carry. And the lack of feeling that many project fo those of us that .are openly gay. They are filled with sometimes violent behavior for what they are afraid of or themselves ashamed. (C ontinued an ne,xt .page)

a pool of blood ■stand inq stlent reflecting the lights above a child youth just a boy laying hurt stabbed bIeed1ng because he would not be fucked by them,..older men (straight) Ione Iv men foot stens trace the confusion on the floor a red hostility the life flows out that vouth innocence lost to a world of cold concrete steel

BY RAY LATHAM fhere has been a lot of discussion and lack of uniformity between states on the question of the oroper age under which consent should not be Permitted in matters of sexual relations. Some states use 14 as the oroner age; others say it should be 1c ; and, still others utilize a still higher age with many comnIications involved. What is proper and reasonable has been the question which has be labored legislatures, the media and mav lobbvino nrouos.

and pent-up sexual frustrations seeth inq deep w ith in this Ione Iy pi ace prison

What is involved is that the younger party is denied any choice until after that aqe. One day before, and his or her partner, someone they might be very fond of is subject to the penalties of a felony. One day later, and it is no longer a crime by definition. Nowhere is consideration given to the mental age or physical develpment of the youth. From the opposite side, there are many men and women with the mental age of children. It has been written that the average mental age of the American adult is no more than that of a twelve to fourteen year-old child.

This poem, I think, illustrates the horror of prison and the graphic reality of it all, especially for the youno men in here. This poem was written after seeing such an act being perpetrated on a youth at Soledad State Prison in 1983. Prison is a violent reality for all qav men and youngsters of every race, especially youno whites. ’.'ow I'm not tolling you to ston writing those of us that need correspondence and love and an occasional ear or shoulder to crv on. We are definately alone here, some times I find mysolf crying under the blankets, wondering why life has to be so terribly alone for me. But I realize that there are many more out there that are nrobably worse off than I am in here. So I not over it.

Conversely, there are youths like the Unicorn columnist of the NambI a Builetin who writes a comprehensive, wellresearched, scholarly column, showing him to be a very mature young man. He admits to having sexual relations with men that he enjoys, and thoroughly resents any inter ference from the police or social workers. Unquestionably, he has the mental level of a mature man, yet when he started the column over a year ago, he referred to himself as an "eleven year-old faggot." He calls these laws a ridiculous interference with his liberty and freedom of choice.

I think one of the biooesf problems that we face in here is the stigroat Ism of of feminism. Wo only have two rather effeminate friends here and thev draw a lot of attention to themselves and the rest of us. i have discussed this at length with others. We all agree that Gay doesn't mean being female, we are men with a different oreference, and that is all.

When one assumes that those under a certain, established ane of consent cannot enoaqe in sex with those over that age, we are doing more than just protecting the young and presumed innocents. In the first nlace, manv younger per sons have heavier sex lives with far greater frequencies than many older persons. The variety of life sometimes goes to extremes. One bov told me he had his first inter course with a fifteen year-old girl when he was 3 1/2 and had been into sex of all types, both heterosexual and homo sexual, indiscriminately, at least once a week ever since. No man or older qirl could possibly show him anything that was new to him, nor could any person make him do anythinq he didn't want to do. He is completely experienced as are the majority of young hustlers. To throw a man in jail for being with him is a ridiculous assumption that the man is teaching him anything. The adult could even be trying to wean him away from too much concentration on sex, which might be detrimental to his school work.

In prison, life is a daily bore. And we all thank God that we have the strength to endure the dai ly harrassments and gainful slurs by those that ire afraid of our differences. We )re unique for we are truly human. We must remember as the world comes crumbling down around us that we can make a difference, we can grow up and become the buffer for love, worldly love that very few people see. 3v growing up, I mean straightening out our act. Cleaning uo our own cul t u r e , addressing our inner problems. We are just beginning that task; too bad it had to take AI OS to forward that change. We, in this particular orison, are nroud of our gay ness. We are also proud to take a stand within this violent environment for love. Believe me, it is not easv to stand up and be counted among those that hate with such a venqence as to rinnle even the waves of time.

To assume an arbitrary age of consent requires a parallel assumption that an older person is teaching something that is 'evil and dirty.' Yet, even Sigmund Freud, the father of analysis, said, when questioned about sexual ills, " --it is modern society that creates these ills in the first place by its deceits and hynocracies, the concent that there is something evil and dtrtv about one of the most basic and natural acts the human can perform. Where sexual activity is natural and omnipresent there are none of these neurotic ills." James Michener’s book, Hawa i i, clearly describes how the bigoted ministers destroy the carefree happiness of the ouiIt-free natives by their narrow teach-

Hons.

Un+i . . rty . tosis was ”o* oresent until after ouilt was instilled into their minds.

$®x can mf3n " W HWnos. It transcends the full ., from forcible rane to Dure, beneficial affection. |n tween is coercion, intimidation, nurchase and seduction, if i+ is an expression of love that is shared, then it is beneficial to both partners, renardless of ape or gender. Nothino is more beneficial than to feel a sense of’security in the love of another— it creates a euphoria. A young boy or girl may be walkinn the streets selling sex one day, being coerced on another day, get raped one or more times, and finally run into an older person who cares. That person may take them from the street, give them a good heme and material needs, and selflessly love them. In re turn, they may pay him/her their utmost compliment, in that they allow that person into their private, intimate sex lives...by invitation.

Z J Kj

1+4 *

puOTmrsJ Sometimes the oain gets to he too much, and I long for that special touch, you know the one we talked about, the one together we figured out.' You do me and I'll do you, and we'll both feel good,’ by the time we're through. I won't tell, if you won't either, none will know, if they hear it from neither. It's habIt-forming, real addictive, and the ruIes aqai nst if, quite restrictive. But we'll not net hooked, it’ll be no crutch, we'll just use it when the pain get to b<’ too much.

The one who takes the heavy.risk is the one who removed them from the dangers of the street, for s/he will then be wi-n then constantly, whereas their former 'customers,' being furtive, will take almost no risk. Which person goes to prison for the long term? As'vou may well suonose, our prisons are full of the good Samaritans who really cared, while the 'customers' are ‘in roaming <hr- gtrdeti looking for fresh meat. M*hy of these are actually heferosexuals looking for something different. It is the paedonhile, the true lover, the one who cares, that most often ends up in prison. So, even from this Standpoint, we are punishing the wrong ones. What would be just and best for the protection of our young: f irst, forget the whole concept of age of consent, H Is arbitrary, unjust and discriminatory, plus the fact 't is a limitation of the liberties of the young, who are far better qualified to judge a benefactor from those who would use them. Even nets learn quickly who their frl are. Don't run down the judgment of the young where their bodies are concerned. Many turn around the laws m d use them to extort money from older men.

I Inis

Instead of age, use other factors as criteria for legal violation of the young. If consent was the result of co ercion, intimidation, purchase or forceful threat , then let these elements be the felony. Tut if the relations are expressions of affection, it will have beneficial • s it if Is— Lovet— with the instinct to protect from harm. To think otherwise is to se-irade the instincts riven us 1

/ I

can be no more than that desire to cherish. If it is true l s Love,** as we are told to believe, then its exoression in any form is rodliness, no matter whom the partners might be, or their respective anes. The bigot is himself nlav inn at being Cod to proscribe physical relations when it is an expression of love and affection. V/bat is criminal are the elements accompany inq 1ho3° relations, not the re Iat ion 1tseIf. Let the law :' ‘ force, coercion, intimidation and the Purchase of sex from the young and not be against the act of . /Ply then will we be agreeing that sex is not dirty and evil as the neurotics would have you believe. Save our young from being neurotics. Save them from the wrath of the bigots!

The Brothers Behind Bars Program is an outreach to our gay brothers who are in jail. If has three major ectiviH,g ) providing space in the journal for a forum of ideas [nformalion, and other writings by prisoners and for prisoners o T °P n<1 a r°n Pal Program wherf)bV maintain lists ' alnnn ? + r s S6e ?g Pen Pa,s to Ornish those interested with some guidelines; arid 3) providing prisoners with ree subscriptions to Rf D whenever possible.

along

If anyone is interested in writing to a prisoner, please write us for the local list and guidelines. It is also a S n t i r f f r f°[kS receivinc> "»tl from prisoners from the Contact Letters to ask for the guidelines before respondto be avo?deHU7 ’/tf4Kre are SOme rea 1 Prob,Rms and dangers to be avoided, but there are also some wonderful people to meet and correspond with. We do try to send free subs to prisoners requesting them however we cannot furnish as many requests as we get. Our 15 ’ of our Paying subscriptions, and we have a waiting list. If anyone would like to help us out by of fering a gift subscription ($10) for a prisoner, we would be most grateful as would be the recipient. Please speci fy whether or not you want the recipient of the gift cub to know your name and address. As with Contact Letters one can also write prisoners through RED. As this program is not funded and has no staff of its own we are sometimes a bit slow in responding to the many letters we receive; please bear with us. The task is overwhelming.

UTTI.IE Vd —

Ray, hi'- nmoanii! , ’ • s man who's fai led because he had to. Ho returned to nrer‘iss with no desires left. Ho came home with a limn inn spirit for reasons he has yet S' know himso!f. for the las? five years he's been amono ts > annot ired, m aver.-me face i- an averaoe nlace, work inn would have shunned twentv vears before. His .... ... ; nassod without cefe&raf Ion, n Iensure came to him these days almost solely in srend. .V'- sex Is the ittic, shar ing .-inarette and snail talk. Ray remains amazed »h. :-s r'si'. iat iv ’ of ’.ivno' ire for his body. • ' of the father, then +ho father he’ll he, :n-i ity .

(Raven's drawing appears by Itself on page

W is there to rjistinnuish one small house in one small town from all the others like it? Groomed lawn after nroomed lawn stands seethinq in the Mis sissippi heat, nuarded as it were bv common flow ers IInina their borders. Normalcy oermeates every obtect, as every obiect becomes a symbol for all that is the same. No one screams or lauqhs too loudly. Time exists only in aqinn faces. in leardsley Avenue, between Fuel id and Hillside, one such house stands unoccunied save for its attic. Up in that dusty room a young optimist named Wayne Andrews has spent much of the late morn inn entertain inn his heart's delight, an older man who has be come his friend, his confidant. Wavne is seven teen, thounh the efforts to satisfy his curiosity him seem ofder. He hopes without nrovoJreams with no thounht of the consequences.

27)

by MARK MCNEASE

Ray is sitting on the floor with his back against an old trunk that's a fixture in the attic. To the left of the trunk stands an easle, occupied today by a watercolor portrait of an unfamiIiar man. Ray's legs are out stretched, his lap serving as a Dillow for Wayne's head. His hand is resting comfortably in Wayne's shorts. Though the sex is over, the orgasms come and gone, his hand likes it there, having staked its claim at least for now.

"When I was your age I never gave a thought to things like 1hat. It didn't occur to me that it would ever come my turn." "No one said we was the same person, Ray." "'•O' '•"hev didn't." Ray no longer bothered to correct the boy's rnaI ish, finding a certain charm in it. "Tell me, what does the person you are see in this mirror?"

Wayne chuckles, his head causing a vibrating sensation in Ray's lap.

"It changes." V/ayne extinguishes his cigarette butt in a tin ashtray sitting on the dresser too. He lights an other one, chain smoking as he's known to do when bored, whu.h is much of the time in this town he despises. "Sometimes I see a boy, sometimes I see a man. When I see a boy, I wanna laugh. I wanna throw stones across the river. I wanna tell dirty jokes like I did when everything was funny. 'Course I was about eight years old then."

"What you laughing at?" Ray asks. My momma." Wayne exhales a cloud of cigarette smoke, the vibration stopping as abruptly as it started. "She's not back yet, is she?"

Ray says, startled.

'Christ no. I was just laughin' at her reaction if she knew what we was un to. She's out for the day, lookin' at more things to buy that she don't need."

"When I see a man," he continued, "I feel tired. Alone. I feel like it's time for me to leave...don't know where the hell I'm gonna go, but it's somewhere else." He oauses momentarily while Ray works the muscles gently in his unner back. "Tell me what the oerson YOU are sees in this mirror."

"Good. They'd throw me in jail for having sex with a seventeen year old." "I'd go with you." Wayne slides his hand back and forth on Ray's leg. "We could make the headlines, maybe get TV coverage. Sounds exciting, huh?"

"Nothing but a man," Ray says, "and an old one at that."

"Not at all. It doesn't work that way." Ray pulls Wayne's hand from his leg, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it with the kind of affection reserved for one who's loved. "Not that I wouldn't do time for the likes of you, but in a town this size it's not that simple." Wayne gets up from the floor, crossing over to the attic's one window. He looks down on the symmetry of the street below, noticing how little there is of any difference In the scene. He's viewed it a thousand times. It's become devoid of meaning for him, a veil to look beyond. "Yeah, I know. Peoble here don't forget, and they sure as hell' don't forgive." He points with his cigarette to a green one story house across the street. "Girl named Lisa lives down there. Lisa Jacobs. She had herself a black baby three years ago. They never forgave her. A white girl's 'sposed to have a white child. Unmarried's bad enough, but they'll never let her forget she went too far. Poor little baby's an off shade. Cutest little thing, but folks around here don't even act Iike he's human. They frown at me 'cause I taIk to the two of 'em. I don't much give a shit. Lisa's a real nice girl. We practically grew up together, talkin', tel Iin' each other secrets. She knows all about me."

"Shit, Ray, you're not old. You got a good twenty year-, left. Time enough to see the world." "I've already seen it." Ray massages the muscles more slowly, moving his hands down to the lower back. He debates with himself whether to go any further. "Christ, boy, I've got a daughter two years younger than you. Lives in Baton Rouge with her mother." Wayne turns in his chair. He places one foot on each side of Ray's legs, one hand on each of his hips. He looks up into Ray's face as he speaks. "Is she pretty?" "Pretty as you. Smart, too. That girl's going to be somebody when she grows up. Her mother took me to divorce court. Told them what a freak I was, how I liked boys. I was just a boy myself! I hadn't had a chance to grow up yet. She took my baby girl, and everything else. Left me with nothing, just like my mother." Wayne's face showed compassion. He was interested in Ray, perhaps even loved him. "Your momma hard on you?" "Yes, my mother was hard on me." His mind slides back ward, a wave on a sea of thought. The room loses focus. His vision becomes blurred like the picture through a camera lens that's been greased to achieve the effect of being out of place and time. He allows himself to venture into th is tunneI.

"She knows you like men?"

Suddenly and without Invitation he was sixteen again. He lay on his bed, reading an algebra book. He detested the subject. It made as much sense to him as learning french in an english speaking world where it would never be used. He could hear his mother in the kitchen downstairs.

"Hell yes." Wayne moves from the window over to an old dresser in the corner. It's from a time gone by, no more than waist high, a large round mirror crowning it like the full moon on a clear niqht. He sits in front of it, inspecting his reflection absentmindedIv. "She knew be fore I did. Used to want to olay nurse with me. I shyed away. She knew why. I was glad when she told me, 'cause I didn't know myself." He laughs. "Damn, seems like all that was Just yesterday. Time sure do fly, don't it?"

Evelyn Ellis was a woman who insisted on living by her convictions, though she refused to question the wrongness or rightness of them. She'd been known to state her opinions without regard to others' feelings, which were to her like small trees to be felled in the path of Goliath. Some even thought she resembled Goliath, large and formidable, with a walk that was more of a stomp. She browbeat her husband, a diligent postal clerk of no significance. Evelyn regretted nothing she said or did, prepared at any moment to take her dogmatic beliefs to the grave.

Ray hoists his slightly overweight frame up from the floor. For a man of thirty-seven he still looked good. Never having known the agony of a bad complexion, he could describe himself as handsome, though when it changed to that from 'cute' he wasn't sure. He'd been in shape once, the muscles still defined in his legs and arms. Wrapoed around Wayne, they gave him the feeling of being a pro tector, a man in the conventional sense. He guessed life had its joys even for him. He positions his protectorman's body behind Wayne, placing his weathered hands on the boy's shoulders.

"Ray!" she yelled from her formica castle. The kitchen was the fortress of every devout housewi fe, whether master or slave to the stove. "Ray Ellis, you get your ass in this kitchen NOW!"

’You're too young to think about time flying," he says.

He swung his feet off the bed, wondering what kind of 23

trouble she would create for him this time. He was con vinced his mother hated him. Memories were stored in reflexes, his hands still flinching at any sudden movement. She’d cracked the knuckles a dozen times when she found him m,r 'urt itinq. Lurid descriptions of testicles rottinq, of bruins -.repinq out, of defective of fsprinq accompanied the reprimand, 'ho liked to nunish him. He couldn’t believe otherwise, not in the light of the physical abuse she meted out ( md always that faint smile...he knows he saw her smile).

no idea where he would qo.

"And remember one thing," she yelled after him, "you're no son of mine." No son of mine. No son of mine. His head swam, lost in vivid recall of the past. The rage was still in him. It was the color of blood,

He entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table, fvelyn remained with her Pack to him, stirring whatever was in the large pot with her favorite wooden sooon. "Humor’s qoin’ round about that friend of yours, Hilly Whozits." She poke without turning jround. "Matthews," lie is Matthews."

aid in defense of his friend.

"His name

"No matter to me," she said with her trademark coldness, "folks are rayin' he's funny." "Funny?" She withdrew the spoon from the pot, banging it harshly on the rim three times. She turned to face him, pointing the spoon at him like a weapon. "Don't play names with me, buster. You know what i mean. Folks are savin' he's queer. Say he jot caught with some boy In the school bathroom, tuck in that town he and his trash family come from."

"Huh?" Ray looks around him in a daze. He glances down to see this fine young man, his friend, rubbing his chest, squeezing Ray's nipples with thumb and forefinger. "I'm sorry. I just got lost in my head. You know I do that sometimes."

"Thev're not trash," he said, responding with anger that was becoming more characteristic of him.

"At least take me with you." Wavne leaves Ray standing by the dresser. He walks over to the easle, takinq a brush he dins in water and a shade of blue paint. He adds a stroke to the left eye of the portrait.

"Any woman lets a boy like that live under her roof is trash." 'he walked over and stood in front of him. At that moment he had no desire to hold his tongue. This if front had quickly become the one too many. "What's that make you?" he aid, aware of the pounding that had started in his ears.

"Know what I wanna be?" "No, what?" Ray says, still regaining his focus on the here and now.

She swung with i wide arc. The spoon made contact with hi . right temple, a trickle of blood edging toward his eye?. "Don't you EVER talk to me like that. Now you tell me and you tell me straight...are you like that?"

"An artist." Wayne adds another stroke, maki.nq the eye lighter. "My daddy said I could. He used to take a brush, put it in my little hand, and guide it with his own. Said I had a gift for paintin'. Course i oooood and ahhhhhd. Giggled some. He died 'fore I ever got to really show him what I could do."

"Euck you." She hit him again. ANSWER."

"That's not an answer,

i WANT AN

Ray stands behind him, looking over his shoulder. "You're talented. You must practice a lot."

"I don't know." He began to cry, more out of rage and humiliation than any guilt.

"Only when I'm un here. Momma says a man goes to trade school, studies engines and such. She says artists can't put food on the table, so I do it in orivate. Ever since Daddy passed on I've kept it a secret."

"What the hetl do.you mean 'I don't know'? You either are or you aren't. If you aren't, don't go near that boy lqain. If you are, I want you out of my house bv tomorrow."

"This is my room," he continued. "Special. Momma out all of Daddy's stuff she kept in that old trunk. She stays awav ’cause it haunts her. Not much difference 'tween ghosts and memories, I guess."

"I'm on tv sixteen!" He knew her threat was real. Fear mixed with hatred rose in bis throat like vomit. "Where would I no? I can't live out there by myself."

"Not much difference at all," Ray says. "If you close vour eyes you can see, vou can hear things from the past, just like they were ghosts standing next to you."

"If yog want !o do the devil's work, then let the devil take care of you."

"Dot no use for 'em." Wayne abandons the painting, takinq a seat on the trunk that held what was left of his father's life. "Tell me," he savs, "where'd you go when you left Prentiss?"

"THERE'S Ni H- mr I CAM ’X) ABOUT |T!" "Well, there's something I can do about it." She always made good her threats. She wouldn't be Fvelyn Ellis i' she didn't. "I want you out in the morninq."

"I hitch iked to L.A. Sixteen years old I was. Scared shitless."

"You stupid bitch." He rose from the table, refusing for the first tine in his life to let her degrade him. "OFT

h o t !"

"L.A.!" Wayne adopts the took of wanderlust in his eyes that Ray has come to know all too well. "The bio city. I wanna no there someday."

s*ir .-reined, throwing the spoon at his back.

"You'll rot in hell 'or this." u--. couldn't back down now. He started -limbing the stairs, resinned to the fact that he was l e a v i n g home, not tomorrow but pow, with

"Maybe you do, maybe you don't. It’s a place of wouldbe dreams."

"Pome neon Ie make i t . "

A determir

Wavne d efen d s h is

>•.■

Wayne seats himself in front of the dresser, not bothering with the mirror this time, Me stamps out a cigarette impatiently. "We're not the same person, Ray. Do I gotta repeat myself? The way I see it you just didn't play your cards riqht. I'm gonna play mine different."

'll always trv no matter the outcome,

'"'ore npor'io don*+." oav jfohts a cloarette. v sees in the bov his -w vounoer set f, green v>i nrimed for disillusionment. "I ended up sweep?no the sidewalk, cIearing ine rubbish off the stars on the boulevard,"

"You can't play them any different," Ray says, Placing his back against the trunk, stretching out his leos. He is losing interest in the argument. "They're not your cards, and it's not your name. The rules are made bv the winner, which is never vou."

"I’ll sween my own." "You want your name in the sidewalk? Go riqht ahead. Jus don’t fuck u d , 'cause when you have your name out there for everyone to qawk at, they don’t foroet what you did with your life."

! don f buv that. You're iust an old man who never got anywhere, so you came crawlin' back to this shithole where everyone looks the same. You can't have my dreams for me."

"Damn," Wayne says half jokingly. "Just like here. I bet they don't forqive you, neither."

Ray feels a s a b in his heart. He hasn't had a confron tation like this with the boy in the year thev'd known each other. He fights the hurt that attacks him. «| can't break them for you, either. Someone else'I I have to do that."

"Mo, they don't." "Like Lisa with her little black baby, huh? She'll carry THAT one for the rest of her davs, damn sure. Little nappy-headed boy'll turn into a bio nappy-headed man with beine skin. Whites won't want him. H a c k s won't want him. Won’ t nobody want him but his momma, 'cause thev got the same pain. Folks nonna stare at him on the bus. I can see it now."

Realizing with shame that he'd overstepped his bounds, Wayne approaches Ray, kneel ing down to put his hand on the side of his face. He kisses Ray's forehead. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it about bein' an old man. You're a good man, a gentle man. You just lived your life...."

"Thev're ooing to stare at Y'TII, Wavne." Ray assumes a tone of mentor, nroohet foretelling the road ahead. "thev'I I make fun of you 'till vou hate them. They'll say vou oughta be wearinq a dress. Thev'I I beat you un if thev catch you alone. Thev might even kill vou. Think about the life vou're going to live, ‘lake sure it's what you want, and qet the ooddamn stars out of your eves."

"And I'm ti red." "And you're tired. I'm not, see. I got all these years ahead of me. I wanna spead 'em like money to burn." "So you can end up like me, old and beaten?"

Wavne's lies curl in a "outing manner. "You got no call to be mean. I got stars in my eyes 'cause I'm young. Nothin' wronq with that. Young folks SHOULD have stars in the ir eyes."

"Mo. o n ."

So I can end up Iike you, with a lot to look hack

Wayne resumes his place, resting perpendicular to Ray with his head in Ray's lap. "You know something?"

"Not when they've got the row to hoe that we do. All that gleam's going to do is go dim on you."

"What?" Ray says, his eyes now closed as he begins dri fting off to sleep.

Wayne stands and returns to the window. It affords him his ‘avorite view, looking down on all he sees. He is on top from this perspective, a winner. "Bullshit. You see that world out there, past this little nothin' town? Well it's my world."

"I love you." The words bring peace to Ray. Uncertain as he is about the boy's ability to love him, he nonetheless finds com fort in the statement. Wifh an expression of fleeting

"It's not your world," Ray says, remaining fixed in his snot, "and it doesn't care who vou think you are." As if hearing a voice on the wind that proceeds from no known point, Ray cocks his head to listen to her words returning. He loses his balance over the moment. Wayne slides away, down some thin black tube, his lies moving without sound. AJI Ray hears is the woman who would not leave him alone. '"Ray FI Iis," she said, "it's a big world out there. Gonna get cold. Gonna swallow you like an oyster down its throat. You'll get used, Ray Ellis, tou'll get worn Iike a diamond on some fat man's finger, but mind you me they'll toss you aside soon as vou stop’ shinin'. Don't come crawlin' home when it happens." tayne is almost shouting now, irritated more thin ever by °ay's drifting away. "Goddamn it, Ray, wake jn!"

In his dreams the quiet is shattered. Ray r llis, boy remarkable, crosses the continent with a thumb and a heart fulI of foolishness. There were men in every state who were more than willing to give him a ride, to ease his fears with strong arms, to touch him like he needed to be touched. Only the accents changed.

Dav 'umns to Iife, embarrassed but searching guickly for the lost conversation. "The world...big world out there." "Yeah, and I'll make it care who I am." '•'-)ynr ' . defiance is at a peak. "I got brains, Pav. I got looks. I ran be anything I wanna be. This is America."

He flew through the years like a bird flies high over canyons. The houses below became faces. He remembered each of them, some for brutality, some for kindness. He glides down, hovering over a crowd of men. He alights on th ■ shoulder of one. What was his name? He can't recal I, the name lost in a parade of words, promises >nd slander.

'it sure as hell is," Pay says, looking at this kid thv he loves. "And you better remember that. Looks Oftl old, .rains get tired. You think I didn't have those things at your age, and then some? Men fold me what , nredty f bild I was. 'Weal thy men. ;iowor f j I men. Th t - • of ’tome and gave me wine I couldn't afford with ;> month' . Pay. :hen they threw me out. Thev fucked me is more ways than one, and I let 'em."

"No difference between ghosts and memories," Ray Eilis, bi rd|i ke incredibIe boy, said to the man.... "None at’ all."

"Fuck you,"

said the man,

She f e l t a t in g l i n g in h er y o u 'r e say i n ' to m e."

"You’re a piece of meat,"

He flies away. Md loses his winqs. Time charges. What is becomes what was. This is more than a dream. This Is the rememberunce of Iona niqhtimes.

"Get me my pills," she said. "Get your own gaddamn pills. Go on, have a heart attack. Let me help you out some, Mother. I SLICKED A LOT OF DICKS, MOTHER."

He'd become a man somewhere, thirty-two years old. His mother was ill, havinq returned from the hospital after a heart attack. He went to her home, bidinq his time.

"My heart!" She reached for the Dhone. Help. She had to have help. He pulled the phone away from the night stand, quickly unplugging it. As he watched her panic, he felt an erection. And why not? This was the greatest moment of his life. His triumph.

"Son's 'sposed to take care of his mother," she said. If emotion in

"I let a lot of men put their hands on me, squeeze me like fruit tn a market." He felt the erection stiffen as she clutched at her breast, pain standing out like bold letters on her face. "I still sit down easy, like I'm going to break. There's a lot of pain out there."

"Don't matter the past." She left her eyes closed, re fusing to recognize him even then. She lay in her bed fully clothed, and from his chair next to her he couldn't help but picture what she would look like in a mortuary.

He stood by watching with fascination as her lips turned blue. At the moment of her expiration an eternity later he felt the wetness of ejaculation. "Lotta pain out there when they stick you like a pig."

"She brought him into this world." "And I'm suRposed to thank you for that? thank you for the money you never sent." "live dollars at Christmas.

"God h e a rs what

"You think I give a shit?" He could see that her distress might prove fatal. She glanced at her arm, eyes beginning to widen.

"Rav! Ray FI Iis, I need you. Answer me." It was her voice. He could never have mistaken it, cold as death in all the movies he'd seen. It cut old wounds, fillinq them with rust.

"Like a mother takes care of her son?" vaded his voice, it was bitter.

l e f t arm.

Maybe I should

He calmed himself, preparing to call the proper authorities His mother had died in her sleep, so peaceful. "Merry Christmas, Evelyn Ellis," he said as he turned toward the phone.

Don't you lie."

"You know what that bouaht? NOTHING, that's what it bought. Cigarettes and breakfast." "If I can be long sufferin'," she said, "so can you." "It was never my choice, for Christ sake!" his anger animating his body.

He stood then,

"Sit down," she commanded. "You're a grown man now. Bible says a man's got to give up the ways of the infant." "Don't throw the Bible at me." "I'm your mother," she said, "you got to honor me. I carried you for nine months. Slept with my feet in the air. Walked on eggshells so I wouldn't hurt you."

Wayne inserts his hand into Ray's jeans. His suspicions prove correct — a wet dream. He si ides his palm up to Ray's naval, the semen drying quickly in the air.

"You saved that for later," he hissed.

Ray's eyes open, his mind pulling itself rapidly to the surface, faster and faster like a drowning man who must have oxyqen.

"Never mind what I did.

You got duties to meet."

"You had a dream," Wayne says with a hone I was in it."

"And one of my duties is to tend to you?" "Damn riqht it is." She fixed her gaze on him, her freezlnn grey eves the windows to a barren iandscane. "There's bills to nay. Hosnita! ain't free."

C h e sh ire

grin.

The shaking begins. With sweat pourina down the sides of his face, Ray starts to convulse. His body trembles, the muscles twitching in degrees of severity. Tears stream down his cheeks. Unable to comprehend what is happening, Wayne holds him, rocking back and forth, back and forth.

"Neither is love." He met her stare with no hesitation. The time had come. "And I'll tell you right now you can't buy it for five dollars at Christmas."

"I killed her," Ray says through the sobs.

"I meant for you to get yourself a shirt with that money. You could find somethin' nice for five dollars back then."

"Who, Dartin'?" Wayne whispers, continuing to rock. "Who'd you k i II?"

"I didn't need a shirt," he said, standing up again with no Intention of returning to the seat. "I had clothes. Mother. t had a roof over my head, and food in my stomach most of the time. Would you like to know how I got those thIngs?"

"My mother." intense.

The sobs grow louder, the rocking more

"It was only a dream." Wayne leans back, wiping tears away with his palms. He kisses Ray's eyelids.

"'Cause you worked for 'em, just like your father, and your father's father before him."

"No, it wasn't. It happened five years ago." Ray attempts to regain his composure. "Word got to me on the we..' coast that she'd had a heart attack. You know some thing? l was glad. The only thing that bothered me was t>*at she lived through i+ ." He takes in air stowly, hoping his breathing will slow down. "I came back to Prentiss and I've been here ever since. I stood next to her bed, saying things to unset ter because I thought she had i* coming. Then she...she__ ."

"WRONG. I qot those tbinqs because I looked like what I was: a stupid kid from some hole in the wall nobody ever heard of. I did a lot o f things to survive out there. Mother. You want to know all about it?" "You stoo this talk." Too much excitement can be danger ous for someone in her position, and they both knew it.

"W h a te v e r happened, i t ' s o ve r R a y 's damp, sw eat-soaked h a i r .

Wayne runs his hands through

Little voices don't have to be heard straddles Ray's legs, wraps his arm1 and begins rocking again. "Maybe when you leave this town." Where am I gonna go, boy?" 'With me, old man."

"I've already seen it he'd heard before.

Ray says, laughing at the words

"Mot with me, you haven't ." Wayne leads him downstairs. A determinist, he'll I always try no matter the outcome. They leave the small town of Prentiss with at least a few hours headstart.

KFD WELCOMES A NEW EDITOR TO IT S STAFF nas boon a carpenter for more than 8 years. Hfs experience includes: renode lino, additions, Ion cabins !’>■,tilaHor., ••stimatinn, woodwork ino, and solar enemy. He has lived in isolated hones heads, farmsteads, and in a variety of coon©native and communal situations. He is present Iv attending Technical Colleqe in Wisconsin, and is pi : iri j and otherwise workino towards his next homestead.

IM G R I T T N E R

FA R M A PPREN TIC ESH IP PRO G RA M

GETTING THERE”

BY KIM GRITTNER

A homestead: "A house, esn. a farmhouse, with adjoining bu iId inqs and Iand."

This means different thinqs to different neonle. Some folks are content with a small loo cabin or shanty with no utilities, but need 8°+ acres to feel content. Others may require a contemnorary dwelling, complete with solarassisted hot water heater, greenhouse and a modern kitchen. RFD is, of course, a magazine that holds a special place in its heart for rural life. It is also true that a large number of our readers live in the city, but plan to move to the country 'someday'. We want to encourage you to make that 'someday' happen! Following is an article about doing just that. I't goes steo by step through the process of planning, saving for, researching and buying the homestead. It is not meant to serve as your only guide in this undertaking, but should offer some useful (hard learned) suggestions in making your purchase. A list of additional reading material is listed, following the art ic.le.

since we 'et so many contact letters from folks lookinq for he In on their farms or from folks lookino for a place to do •.omo f i»’’ w >rk in a congenial atmosphere, and since we want lo c■ni >'i* vqe nay men to get out on the land and experience it-. ? :. 1■. in.' treasure- , we ar e star tin i to collect data mi i r .Mial service. Of course, it will take a bit of time ■ • .1 e we .develop m ox ton* ivo hank of listings, but we have i ’vi"iher of contact letters dealing with this, so - typi- v.t --■aid have somethin.: to send out fairly soon. opt in to hook up folks who are interested in learn■xpei fencing farming with folks with farms that need , i■, not envisioned as. a matching service for Mat ure will takr» • are of that anyw j v . o, re 1ati onsh i ' you h 1v< ■i !U m or homestead and are lookinq for help, oven on t *.>rpor iry bani ■, send us the details regarding h’|ease include any restricyour needs and expc■ fit - . )? eat ing, drugs, times when sometions suoh as snoki • one is n- -■)( -, ... .. [ it . , .'tc.,, as wol1 as what you can :, ar>y pay, vfha t skills to teach offer i.-h - roon If . .. , t :;>i.ini •' ■' I •’!ace to n o, we want your list inn as well. o|e.r.•< he specific about your abilities and interFvervone o n is listed wilt net a conv of the listings which wi 11 be " s ’ out re nilarly (at leas* every two months). Each II : n swill c* t e'■ per year. 28

I was unable to locate and review any recent books relating exclusively to homesteading, in time for this issue, :he best book on buying land I've ever seen is en ti 11ed Fi nd inn and Buy inq Your P|ace in the Country by L Sober, :'ier aooks, 8Af third Avenue, Mew York, b'.Y. lhP/2.) Unfortunately, I have not been able to find a c o r v of it anywhere, as of late. In further issues, I Plan to review some current books on homestead inn and buyinq I <nd. If you know of any good books or this subject, please drop me a I;ne. Other topics I would like to focus on in the upcoming is- tes include: cottage industries, construction, roads, an.i planning a homestead. I would greatly appreciate submissions based on these themes, or any others, relating to homesteading. Have a wonderful, green Spring! -K.G.

HOMESTEAD

MONTY So now you've found the right neron(s), ' to 'no it alone', what t . ..Id on your plan .. In dollars and cents that means budget. Open a soecial savings account at a Credit Union or Bank. Even if you can only scrape uo a small amount, do it. M ' s a start, no matter how mall. The more you have saved uo, the better nos it ion you'I I be in when you buy. It i■, oreferable to save enough to buy the land outright, as that wav there are no monthly land Payments to worry about.

PLANNING BY KIM GRITTNER

SACRIFICE

"There are perhaps as many methods of acquiring nronertv as there are dreamers without land." Bad a Lama Bata (Came to him while dreaming) Some methods of obtaining land /ork, some don't. Here are some general recommendations for starters: a) Don't be hasty and don't exnect everything to happen overniaht. You will nrobablv have to work very hard and overcome many obstacles to actually realize your 'homestead Ii fe'. b) f\)n't foroet that once vou net your land, you will still have bills to pav. By all means, be reasonable in your budget estimates. c) It is best to have a nlan. A olan he Ios you to go about Purchasing nronertv in practical, manaoeablo stens. A nlan he Ios you to 'stay on track', and not get overwhelmed by all the things that you will have to do eventually. PLANNING

Now comes the hard part. For those readers (if any) who were honing for a magic 'Become a Millionaire Overnight' formula, all I have to say is 'good luck'. For most of us, the money for the land is found by avoiding restaurants and bars we once spent money in, and by putting off buyinq the little thinqs that we want to qet. Money for buyinq land is raised by living in cheap ‘ using, working overtime and double shifts. The greater the sacrifices, the more money you will be able to save in a short period of time. If you are truly dedicated to your vision of homestead living, you will probably pass this hurdle. Good Luck! One thing I've found to bo most helpful in saving is to do it on a regular basis. If you are receiving a regular paycheck, for example, take a portion and put it into Ca t special land account. If you get into the habit of depositing a portion before you ever see it, you won't miss it as much. It's also surprising how fast tfi.»t fund can grow when you keep building on it. INFORMATION GATHERING

Start with the basics. I recommend that you write down as much as possible about your plan, as this will help you to formalize and alter your ideas as need be. How many people do you need to make your plan work? If you plan to 'go it alone', the process is somewhat less complicated, but you must be prepared and able to carry all the burdens yourself. If you plan to go in with others, it is important that you share compatible goals, and are able and willing to share burdens and benefits of the undertaking fairly. It is wise to look out for such problems early on. If, for example, your partner(s) are too busy bar-hopping or chasing men around to work towards the homestead, you are probably better off without them. (Things are not going to get easier!) Many a situation has turned sour because one or more persons were carrying more than their share. ■•There are many who like to picnic, and few that wish to carry the basket". Baba Lama Data (At a 4th of July picnic on Mount St. Helens) It is sometimes difficult to establish with certainty the level of commitment, endurance and honesty of each partner, but it is far wiser to do so before you get in too deen. ■Vhy find out the hard way? If you plan to purchase land with 3 or more people, and live together, you still need to establish compatibility, only now the situation is far more complex. You may need to consider compatabiIity of couples to singles, singles to singles, and only you know what else!

Back in fhe nlanninq section of this article, I suggested that you find out exactly what you want »o do, and with whom. Now comes the time to incorporate those findings with the world at large. You need to take your image of where you want to be and translate it into reality. You now have a vehicle (your land account) which, if properly guided, will take you there. Whether you have enough money to purchase land at this point or not, I suggest that you still have more work to do before you buy the land. You should find out as much about the area(s) you wish to settle in, and narrow down the possibilities to a manageable few. I suggest that you start with an atlas or large map. (If you already know where you wish to settle, you may want to skip ahead.) Now, look at your map, irH decide what states you would consider living in. Considf?r practical realities such as climate, population, employment, friends, and whatever else is important to you. Talk to people who live, or have lived, in the areas of interest, but try not to be too dependent on any one source. You might order yourself a copy of STROUT CATALOG or UNITFD FARM CATALOG (two nationwide real estate agencies), and check those listings. They will give you some idea as to land prices in different areas. Continue your search until you have narrowed it down to one or two states. Now write to that state and get all the free information you can. You can’t know too much about the nI ace you are thinking of settling. (See the article in RFD *4), Winter ’R4/R5, entitled 'New Digs', for more information on this. Certain government agencies may be of great help to you during this process. The U.S.D.A. may be able to provide ycu with soil maps and information. The Geological Survey Office has maps which may prove useful. If the land you are looking at is in a remote or 'recreational' area, you may be able to obtain maps from hunting,supply stores and outfitters. On one occasion, I was able to find several maps from a local surveyor.

If you do wish to establish a cooperative or communal situation, I suggest you do so realistically. Find out what you can about existing groups that have succeeded. Try to learn from their mistakes, and save yourself a lot of hardship. (Further reading on this subject is given, following this article.) In short, this early stage involves deep reflection and honesty with yourself and others, as to what you have to offer and what you want to build. "Be honest and determined. Don't ignore potential problems." Baba Lama Data (After making a downpayment on his first cave) 29

As vou gather more and more information about the area you are interested in, vou will get the 'feel' for the land. You should also develop a pretty clear picture of what kind of land, and how much you are looking for. When you can answer the following questions, you should be ready for the next step:

QUESTION

EXAMPLE ANSWER

How many acres are you looking for?

60-80

Locate narcels for sale long before the auction, and only bid on the ones you like. Set a reasonable limit to bid on each narcel, and don't exceed vour limit.

How much can you nay oer acre?

$800. to $1,300.

DEALING WITH REALTORS

Tyne of orooerty desired?

Wooded with at least 1 acre of cleared or tillable land

First, words of caution:

Water available?

Yes: soring or well

2) Don't sign anything until you have taken it home, studied it, and shown it to a lawyer.

Perk test required?

Yes

Counties considered?

45 mile radius JanesviIle

l) Beware of high-pressure salespeonle.

3) Beware of 'Quick Claim Deeds',...you could be buying the Brooklyn Bridge!

from

4) Never buy land site unseen. FINDING 'THE' PROPERTY The smartest approach in dealing with realtors is remember ing who you are dealing with. They are the agents of the seller. They usually get a percentage of the total selling price, so they will try to keep that amount as high as possiule. Like any 'good saIes-person', s/he will try to get you on as friendly a set of terms as possible. As I've stated earlier, there are many unscrupulous realtors to be found, but every now and then you'll meet a helpful one. Just don't lose sight of the fact that, in general, agents tend to emphasize the positive points of the property, it is your Job to point out things like: 'The foundation is in need of repair', and, 'it looks like the furnace needs to be renlaced', or, 'Electricity seems to be a problem to bring in', and, 'The access road is too rough for anything but a 4-wheel drive vehicle.' If you are so busy agreeinq with all the positive thinqs that the realtor has to say about the nrooerty, you may miss some critical faults...that you will discover later, when it's too late to do anything about them.

There are several approaches to actually finding that special land. If you already live in the area in which you are now looking, you may already have a piece in mind. If it is possible for you to move to the area that you are interested in, that would be advisable. You can learn things about the area that you can't learn any other way than bv actually living there. Getting on good terms with local folks can only help your situation. If you find that you simply can't stand the people in the area you are looking at, it is easy enough to try elsewhere before you make the purchase. ALTERNATIVES The most obvious (and common) method of purchasing land is from i realtor. For those of you who aren't acquainted with realtors, BEWARE! There are many crooked realtors waiting in them thar hills! Some folks like to avoid going through a realtor (and thereby avoid paying the realtor's commission). If you would like to try buyinq directly from the seller, remember that you should be no less cautious about signing things and putting money down. Be sure to consult an attorney before making any of fc< , .iqninq papers or depositing money! As far as finding land directly, I offer the following suggestions:

It is usually best to write or call a week or two in advance, giving the realtor information as to what you are interested in. This 'lead time' will allow the agent to do some looking, and s/he is more likely to show you some parcels that Interest you, if you take this aoproach. Send a letter stating the type, quantity, and price range of the land you are interested in. The more concise your description, the more likely a proper 'match' can be made. Also enclose information regarding the time that you would like to go looking, and a suggested time that you could meet. Be sure to enclose your phone number, in case the agent has further questions.

a) WAN I AD'.'. Read the want ads, and local shoppers. Try running an ad in a paper that has wide circulation in the area of interest. Many areas have little 'Shopper' papers that carry ads, and cover rural routes. b) pUPl 10 NOTICES. Write up a little blurb, stating your land needs. Make several conies, and then tack them up next time you are in the area that you are looking in.

LOOKING

c) SEARCH AND FjMD. The 'Search and find' method, though basic, can bts quite effective. You might beain by studying geo-survey mans in the general area of interest. When you 1ind some specific sections that look good, mark them on your map. Dnce you have located several nossible locations, > > cut jnd explore them! Be sure to bring a plat map, or the best road man you can get. Countv road maos are usually inexpensive, and quite detailed.

One of the great joys of buyinq land can be the search... especially at first. Be aware, keep your mind open, and don't be overly enthusiastic. Some people are so eager to buv at this point (chronic 'land fever'), that they buy the first niece of land they look at for the asking price! Even the best plans become useless if they are not followed

When you go off exploring, be sure to keen your eyes wide o v en . You may not find what you are looking for quite where you thought you would. (Life is full of surprises, isn't it?)

It's a good idea to bring a list of features that you are looking for, and check those that each parcel has to offer. Ask the realtors for maps, and other sources of maps, when looking. It doesn't hurt to mark on your own maps, or draw a rough one outlining roads, springs, buildings, etc. In short, the more information you have about a piece of property, the easier it will be to make a wise decision.

If you do find something that interests you, record it as besi you can, along with any names on mailboxes, route numbers, signs, roads, railroads, or any other kind of identifying landmark. If you have a plat map along (a good idea), you should be able to figure out right away whose property it is. Otherwise, go to a library or courthouse to took it up.

3e sure to keep in mind that rushing into a sale is not going to help you one little bit, if that rush causes you to make the wrong choice. The time to find out that the property was a toxic dump site in the 60*s, floods every spring, borders the route of a new freeway, and will be crossed by a new power line is before you decide to buy, not after!

Once you find out who owns the property, you can approach them to ask if they would consider selling off a piece of their land.

'•(hen you finally find a piece you like, ask yourself, "Is this purchase practical?" 'Is it a reasonable commute (if that is a consideration)?', and so forth. Will you be able to pav cash outright (always preferable)? If you buy or ~erms, car. vou afford to mee+ those monthly payments Dec '• overextend your resources. !f vou try to purchase more than vou can reallv afford, you may learn firsthand

d) AUCTIONS. Yes, the government auctions off land every year. Some of it goes for a low price; some of it goes for an inflated price. Be careful, don't buy site unseen!

CHICKENS for the HOMESTEAD

the meaninq of the word ’foreclosure*. Many times the seller will be willing to sol it the pronerty and sell nart of it. Usually, the nrice oer acre will qo un if you snlit it, as a survey will probably have to be paid for somehow. (Smaller parcels generally cost more oer acre.) Another possibility is to obtain an ’ontion to buy*ad joining or nearby property at a set price. This provides you with the ontion to buy more land if things go well, and may keep you from losing it all if they don’t*

BY THE HOMESTEADER

To me, no homestead is complete without some chickens. There are many breeds develoned for many purnoses. If you want white eggs, you need the light-weight breeds. Any of the several colors of Leghorn, Minorcas or Anconas will do fine.

Some general things which are important to consider: Deeded easement, water, survey, and clear title. When in doubt, talk things over with an attorney and/or real estate expert (not just the seller's agent). BARGAINING When you are ready to make an offer, consult a good attorney who knows real estate well. Generally, your first offer will be far less than you exnect to nay. Land often sells for 1/4 to 1/3 the asking price. The more money you have for a downpayment, the better the overall price you are likely to negotiate. Talk to as many exDerts and friends who are knowledgeable about purchasing pronerty, and don't rush into it!

If you want your birds to run free, the Brown Leghorns or the Black & White Mottled Anconas are the most alert while foraging and are the most likely breeds to avoid a hawk attack. The heavier, general ournose breeds, such as the D Iymouth Rocks, Wyandottes, Orningtons, Black Aus fra Io m s , Rhode Island Reds, and ‘■•ew Hamnshires qive meaty carcass, and are modest to good layers. While they lav brown egqs and are less feed-effecient than the white eqq breeds, they also set, and the Rocks esoecially, make nood mothers. I've found the Black Australoms and Droduction Rhode Island Rods to be the he-,t layers in this qroun.

Best of luck to ya'. The real heavy birds are the Jersey Giants and Brahmas. These make nice table birds, but take longer to finish growing. Also of interest are crested fowl, such as Polish and Houdans. These lav white eons and are rionsetters. They are both nretty birds, and have no comb to freeze in cold weather, so they winter pretty well in cold cI imates.

Further Reading: The Home Buyer's Guide by Bill Adler; 55.95 Simon and Schuster Rockefeller Center 1230 Ave. of the Americas New York, N.Y. 10020

A good bird for moderate laying and decent meat is the Araucanas. These birds will forage for themselves, brood their own chicks, and lay green eggs.

A basic, urban-oriented home buyer's guide. Good introductory information, esoecially if you are lookinn for a olace with an existinq house.

Then there are the commercial Broiler crosses which will grow fast, for a large meaty bird in a short time. If you want to stock the freezer and not carry birds over winter, this is one way to go. They are ready for the freezer in 12 to 16 weeks, though some people keep the pullets for eggs. They are fair layers, and winter well in cold housing.

Getting Your Money's Worth From Home and Real Estate Drofessionals by Mike McClintock; $5.05 Harmony Books 1 Park Ave. New York, N.Y. 10016

A smaller bird, that is winter hardy, a fair layer, and gives a nice carcass, is the Wyandotte Bantam.

A good introduction into the ways of apnraisers, rental agents, tax assessors, real estate agents, interior designers and decorators, insurance agents, real estate attorneys, etc. Also contains helpful listings of Federal and Consumer agencies.

The White Silkie is the bird of choice if you want to brood exotic pheasants or wild ducks under a natural incubator. The Silkie is a nurnle skinned bird, which turns some people off. They are good eating, and lay nice-size egqs. They are also tamer than most breeds and make qood pets. They are very persistant setters and can hatch several batches of chicks in a season.

— Goide to Cooperative Alternatives $5.00 postpaid 126 Sun Street Stelle, IIIinois, 60919

There are many more breeds to consider, so if you want a crash course in poultry, I would suggest that you send for the catalog put out by Munvov McMurray Hatchery, Inc., of Webster City, Iowa, 50595. They have many accurate pictures and a brief history of each breed. Also, of the commercial hatcheries I have dealt with, they seem to have the best record for healthy chicks. They also stand be hind their chicks with a good guarantee. The commerical hatcheries seldom have show-quality stock. Yo get them, you should go to a pure-breed person. t have found some good Polish and other breeds, but there is a world of difference between a Production Rock or Rhode Island Red and a show strain of the same breed.

An excellent guide to 'what's haooening' with the cooperative movement in this country. (A must for those interested in starting a cooperative or commune.) Commun iti e s , JournaI of Coonerat ion * 10.00, one y e a r subscription (quarterly magazine) 126 Sun Street $+elle, IIIinois, 6OQ 19 A good, solid, un-to-date source of info about cooperatives. Don't overlook the outreach section, if you are with a qroun looking for members, or looking for a group.

A good source of names of pure-breed hatchers and shows to attend is: The Hen House, P.0. Box 1011, Council Bluffs, IA 51502. The cost is $6.50 per.year.

H A S E N

RAVER

We had our revolution first 1776 The Trench followed In 1795 Gut ever since then we go where the French have already been They go We go... The River Ia Cambod ia FI Morocco f,attl Smith out of Rimbaud noetic personalities Emily? Emily! Rea IIy! The bread is in need of baking. How unlike you to Ieave Your room so quickly, The door, the wi ndows flung open so As though to admit the entire worId. Well, find excuse. God can surely do Without you quite so close. What am I to tel I the flowers? That you have elected to forfeit the hours You once did so generously give To them? I seem to see Your emanation there in how the drape Glows in the sun. Now Ii sten To reason. Should some one Come Dare I mention you have gone? How unbelievable that would sound, And call me to the front a liar. These rooms, this house They are a town in themselves, An entire civilization. A moth Is beside itself with light. While outdoors I, In a bloodshot sky, Set to I do not know what. The sky aflame is Iike a name given to a thing. Twere humans but humane God couId sweep down And bless this earth with Heaven. H g yy Emily? How odd. You know, J u s t now, on my way pack From +he shore, I thought I heard It whisoer your name, your name Tn passing. Ah, '’would thunder come and cleave the sounds 0 ’ history oast and to come. what are these punctuations but wounds That break the flow of the Noun That could have flowed unbroken Had humans only known, y

resembling the plodding velocity of luggage vans crossing a runway we go Still,

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to us— suspectinq, now and then, who has sent for us, where we’re destined to go next Words anticipating text "Rat-d’Amerigue," after all, is a synonym for guinnea pig So much for the Great American Experiment The French or not the French who will send for us next, and will we go?

C There was a male poet with a deep-furrowed sol it right down the middle of his forehead. And when he though*, he though* that he thought, but the mind r:- r he emptied was torpid.

This is not a note to say no, Though you have let me down, Marlowe. Up in my high-rise apartment, Of Cockaiane I have often dreamt, But the pastoral you have rhymed Is far from what I have in mindâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; I thought you would use a ladder And come u p with someth inn slanter; Fveryone knows which way vou lean. What do you take me for? Some queen! Wrapping me In such a fashion Is not my idea of passion, There being fitter and warmer Ways of spending time together; Besides, unlike some dainty lass, I have hair on my chest and ass. In those streams we could skinny-dip And listen to our birdies twit; Could get our rocks off on the rocks Eyeing the shepherds fuck thei r flocks; But a chorus of swains well-orimed Has video beat any time. Chris, you gotta move more than mind If you wanna pI ay with my kind! V

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in twos or more or alone and sexagenarians Planninq their steps with drinks in their hands, but I rea Ily get of f seeing a member of the latter getting down, gay and for the asking, embody ing age and youth on the same footino, his hair's si Ivery treble chords man i'estIy

O U G E

I prove my validity in dark rooms trembling at the hands of life beyond air and qravity and self To sing a love song from hunger to sing with ceilings falling on your head and chicken-Iittle runn ing for office I prove my validity here with a breathless breath and a broken phrase there is no more v

not in keeninq with his heart's crimson bass rhythm. V (author's version of a poem from the Greek of the Anacreontes via the English translation by Thomas Stanley.)

ERUDA D W A R

A R L O S

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COLLECT ■Those of us who call ourselves the Ozark Hi IIfairy Alliance have looked at the aspects' of aging and agelessness, realizing that there ■was no way to even scratch the surface of the# }' .subject in these few pages. However, we hopeS that you the reader will be prompted to think, hold workshops and gatherings celebrating who<rj you are right now. Our best isn't in our past,*j it's in our "right nows"; beautiful isn't j u s t ® :< young, it is also found in acquired knowledge^ 1[ /and experience, the release from the compe- W tition of younger years. Remember, too, thaiU'’ aging begins when we are born, you are always! IvJoIder than you were yesterday, and better andVaLwiser. Celebrate that.1 Look on the front anct ; y back covers of this issue, at the man lookingrr* at himself in the mirror, yet not recogn iz ingT^. who he sees. Wo alt have that element in us,J ^ like the poem says...that little boy in e a c h w , T of us is always there. Celebrate that part of yourself. You will always be that age, thar person that you feel you are inside. That’s being a fairy! Be the best fairy you can be!

daniei, josh, jim, donnie, dave, rijk,

AGE(ING) Aye(ing) is real. Accepting this, the next step con tinues to be clarifying our attitudes and feelings about aqe(ing). Is age(ing) good? Bad? Continuous growth? Abrupt dead-end? Anticipated? Dreaded? It is none of these. Age(ing) is only a fact, but a fact on which we attach any number of values, attitudes or emotions we choose. The pivotal question is "how shall we react to the fact of age(ing)?" Let's create an -ism, an agism: a set of beliefs and attitudes about age(ing). There is a direct re lationship between a person's agism and their selfconcept. A negative agism along with the steady ac cumulation of birthdays creates an increasingly nega tive sense of seif. A positive agism can produce an increasingly positive self-concept. We are a II free to choose to be Iieve, or to not be lieve in any conceptual scheme. Choose to believe in a positive agism: -to advance in experiences, knowledge and wisdom, rather than cling to a static self -increase our competence in physical mental health., self-care instead of living fast -to nurture enriched relationships with growing friends, not replacing aged friends with younger ones -accepting age and aging and so to love living rather than fear age(ing). . •. r a v C

~und a bonfire we circled naked, anonymous be hind masks made of organic materials representing "the things we hide behind." Men who had previously been ashamed of their bodies discovered a freedom and comraderie in that circle. Some of us who have pre viously been fixated upon "perfect" bodies were de lighted to see how beautiful each of us are In a magical firelight circle. A Kali cage was passed, sym bolically giving each of us an opportunity to cast off pains, habits, fears or hurts from the past we wished to be rid of. Afterwards the cage, containing these discarded aspects of ourselves, was burned and together we shared the elation of becoming unburdened. At one point during the ceremony we evoked thoughts of our absent brothers and made an effort to send loving energy to them. Below are excerpts from letters we received from some of the participants after the gathering. The final letter is not precisely from a participant, but one who was nevertheless touched by our magic circle in what we perceive to be a very real way. m i n k growing old alone is frightening. Not so living alone, per se, Oat not being able to care 91f• I don't rinj living alone, but it is n ,pe to nave friends or someone near who can help in t:"-. o' crisis or need. All of us are different and na.*v :;i'erent needs. As *'or me, I'd rather live aIcne than live with someone who isn't compatible. In iike to be alone most of the time, unless I'm » tth a cor,pat ib Ie person. "'■'oney is another problem as one grows older, es pecially if one never had much to begin with. Some ti m e neaItn problems increase -- doctor bills, health insurance and hospital costs all increase as one gets older, and it is a big problem for poor older folk. "-ometimes growing older can be a blessing for a gay person. One's sexual desires gradually diminish and one finds himself less frustrated by unfilfillment. One learns to face reality and become more settled in mind. "I think it is a fearful thought to end up in a rest home or hospital. When one is alone, he has to consider nis home, pets, if any, and someone has to take care of things while sick or in an institution. "As one grows older he has to give more though! to making out a will, what to do with his assets, such as investing, and the best ways to do so. How to live on a small income, and buy what is needed. "If an older person lives in the country, thought "•ast pe given fo transportation needs, whether he will always be able to afford a car, etc. I think growing older poses an extra problem* for persons who like to garden, as it is not always a simple matter to find a plaoe to do so, especially if certain problems exist where one has to live iri an apartment or such."

"These oak trees outside my window have big, shirty, dark green leaves and only the chills of early morning tel I me that summer solstice has not yet arrived. You gave me the space I needed to see once again the beauty that flows within and around us and the strength to believe that loving and sharing and caring are the only really significant things to do with this brief, bab bling, bewildering, absurd existence." "No words can express the feelings I have about meeting the two of you and the very, very special week end I was able to share with you and all of the others who were there. Yes, indeed it was special — an event in time and space that can never be recreated. Yet I know that in the future there will be other such events and gatherings, and each shall have their own special qualities. IT WAS JUS! WONDERFUL, I sometimes wonder if it was just a dream, but 1 know that all of it real iy happened! "The Saturday night Circle of Men around the large signal fire and full moon was of special importance to me and I did place something of old formed habits into the cage to be gotten rid of forever. "Ihe LOVE fhat the two of you shared with everyone I know was deeply appreciated and many left with the feeling of enrichment from that special love that the two of you have. "Time is too slow for those who wait. Too swift for those who fear,

The letter above was sent to us at Manitwo farm last /ear wnen we were contemplating hosting a gather*ng or. subjects related to age. This man's words, Iike so many others we heard, spoke eloquently of the needs, but with little indication of possible solu tions. We believed strongly (consistent with our con cepts of darictuary and community) that aging need not be a disheartening prospect. We therefore summoned every wise and powerful fairie we knew. We asked tielp to explore the positi ve aspects of aging at a spring gathering we confidently titled the Ageless Gatheri nq. After considerable planting and preparation, over thirty mien arrived at Man it wo for a weekend of work shops, discussions, rituals and recreations all cen tered upon an "ageless" theme. Circles were held on legal issues, death, health, nutrition, insurance, community organization, drama, and gay traditions. ■ituaI was evoked (in a manner significant to prac ticing pagans, yet non-threatening to novice f jir and practicing Christians).

Too long for those who grieve, Too short for those who rejoice. But, for those who love, Time is not!" Anonymous "Reality ended for me Monday on returning to Louis iana hills and flat lands. I miss the cool, dry temp erature of Manitwo farm which invigorates, stimulates pulse, and otherwise brings on renewal. "We drove home rather silently, both of us in a kind of depression because we had left so much of our hearts and souls behind. Fairie people touch us deep ly.

"And now, for me, there are a few tears. You see, on my second night there, in the Walnut grove, by moon light, while the whip-poor-will called, someone kissed me and I discovered that I was no longer a frog. All the next day and for a second night, we were two princes. Surely he was the fairest of the fair. "I'm not sure my feelings make any sense to anyone else, but last night I searched out the poetry of Manitwo Farm. And there was no mistake when I picked out the old, fragile book which, next to Walt Whitman, spoke so eloquently of the fairie experience. Seventy years ago Rupert Brooke spoke for every gentle fairie who has loved;

A short time later the way and means started to de velop for me to leave my present home/job and head west. (The west ward direction was the only thing that came through loud and clear in my meditations.) Also a friend was to inform me about RFD and a decision was made to make an exploring side trip to Running Water. It really turned out to be a rewarding trip and I came away with a great deal of information about what was called the "fairie movement". Returning to my existing home, all of the arrangements were finalized so that the trip west could get underway. The trip westward was exciting (and sometimes fright ening) and I had made a conscious decision to let things flow in a natural way; nothing was to be forced or man ipulated! This journey was to eventually lead me to the Ozarks and I was to have the good fortune of spend ing time with my new good friends at Manitwo Farm. When I first arrived these men were quite open and invited me to use the farm as a base until I was ready to set tle' into a more permanent situation. One evening while some of their friends were visiting the farm we were viewing some photos that had been made at a recent fairie gathering. You can well imagine my surprise and shock when I saw a photo of a circle of nearly nude men, all wearing masks such as I had seen in my dream. The strong spiritual vibrations had reach ed out across the miles to contact another brother in need. "Today I am living in the Ozarks and my family has really grown in leaps and bounds. Life still does have all of the challenges that have always existed (some good-some bad). I am staying very much in touch with the fairie network and ail of my supporting brothers. Life is much fuller and the air is full of laughter and above a I I love. This is a true experience and you will have to bear with my inadequate use of words in my attempt to con vey what transpired. I am convinced that one must beI ieve in magic before it can work its wonders in your life." ~

"— Oh, never a doubt but, somewhere, I shall wake, And give what's left of love again, and make New friends, now strangers. . . . But the best I've known, Stays here, and changes, breaks, grows old, is blown about the winds of the world, and fades from brains of living men, and dies. 0 dear my loves, o faithless, once again This one last gift I give: that after men Shall know, and later lovers, far removed, Praise you, 'All these were lovely'; say, "He loved." "I shall never be the same again. The experience has made me hungry for more. The workshops were inform ative; the food was good; the company great; the atmos phere — both physical and emotional — fantastic, but the most beneficial part of the weekend was the chance to open up (some, but perhaps not completely) and change in such loving, accepting, warm good fellowship. "Jim, you said there was a post gathering depression one should expect. Tell me, when does it set in? I'm still waiting for it -- not looking forward to it, mind you, but when it comes I'm ready. Seriously, I miss 1he company of so many loving and lovely men and am at times a little sad at the parting, but there's no de pression. When I think of the gathering and of someone in particular I remember the good feeling of touching and being touched, the talking, the laughter, and the sharing of time and space." And from one who was not with us in person: "Dear RFD, The big day was tomorrow, I could hardly wait, and at long last I would be 21 years old — legal and really free to live my life. It seemed the big day arrived and then, almost before I could turn around, another plateau had been reached, age 50 — the big five zero! Here I was living in a city and state that continued to remain alien to me no matter how much energy and positive ef fort I expended. "As 1 reminisced the happenings, both plus and minus, that night as I retirod to my bed I seemed the same as always but this was to be quite different — a dream was to manifest that was to change my life's direction and send me back toward my original roots. It was a very unusual dream for me because most of these dream experiences have had little or no recall upon my awakening. This vision was very vivid and clear: it was a circle of men who had little if any clothing on; their faces were covered with very un usual masks. These masks all seemed to be construct* from nature's materials such as twigs, sticks, flowers, leaves and the like. These men were circling, as if in a dance and I felt very drawn toward the group. It was a warm and friendly feeling and I felt a real sense of brotherhood — of family. "The next day when I awoke I felt very rested and at peace with the world (full of love). I was aware that something special had transpired. Later in the day when relating my dream to a very close friend I ex pressed the idea that I seemed to have found my family -- my brothers. It was a little embarassing to describe the near nude circle of men with the very strange and yet attractive face gear. My friend and I were unable to make much out of the dream, how to interpret what 1 had seen.

OUH T W/V45

U/AS /A /

L I* *

"MASKS', TH0ZZ U/6. HI DM-

Sp e t o u r N^\\ Y ^ Consciousness returned very slowly to Lew Jenni ngs, but even after he was aware that all h is senses were operational and recording his perceptions he was still disconcerted at the str-r.— rangeness of his perceptions. This did not frighten him; in fact he was rather enjoying the game he made of it. He R- tested ___ __ one sense at a time trying to ascertain the complete circumstance from the limited information gained from that one sense. He knew, or rather he felt that he was lying on some sort of bed covered with sheets of some de scription. His fingers told hinwthat whatever m w r ,

^ him was exceedingly light and filmy, still he could not name the material. It certainly wasn't hospital linen. Nor, for that matter, was the air that of a hospital — too fresh and natural without a scent of the antisep tic that pervaded every hospital he had ever smelled. , The sounds, too, evaded his sentient powers. There -*• was a soft though not unpleasant murmur surrounding him. One could not describe it as noise, but neither was it music. Lew trusted his sense of sight more than all the others, but he delayed using it because he was really beginning to enjoy the game. It was very much like sex; he usually delayed his climax because the activ ity leading up to it was so enjoyable, almost unendurably enjoyable. So he toyed with his senses, re serving sight until the right moment, one that he had chosen, or until he had grown tired of playing the game. Into the myriad sensations of softness, freshness and pleasantness a voice suddenly intruded. 'I say, old man, that was awfully nice of you," it said. "What!" Lew was puzzled at the unexpected intru sion, but still he forced his eyes to remain closed, I said, that was really awfully nice of you," the voice repeated. It held no trace of a threat. It had, in fact, made every effort to be friendly in order to encourage Lew to open up and participate. Instead Lew clamped his eyes tighter than ever as he pulled himself lower into the bed. "Well, if you'd rather not," the voice said. "I can wait. I'm in no hurry whatsoever." finally slipping up from between the covers Iike a turtle thrusting its head out of its shell after bo/ ing frightened, that is to say exceedingly cautious w / f and with eyes blinking partly from surprise and part•44- ly from inquisitiveness. "Who are you?" Lew tried to demand, but what came out was somewhat less robust than he had intended so that the question took on more the aspect of a plea T and less that of a demand. "God," the voice answered seeming to ignore the rising panic in the poor creature before him. "Who!" the poor creature shrieked. God." The voice remained calm and reassuring. Lew tried to compose himself, but the hair stood on end, the goose pimples came; he shivered invol untarily. 11's a dream, he told himself, one that would go away if he'd just close his eyes for a mo ment and think. He closed his eyes and was silent. Some eons later the voice intruded again. "Ahem," it said. t_ew hesitated but nevertheless opened his eyes. He looked around. He didn't know where he was but he was certain that he was stiI I in his former cir cumstance and that dreaming or not, he could not change things by thinking them otherwise. Where am I?" he wanted to know. This question was asked with less fear and some genuine curiosity.

R L

"Dead," God said matter "I asked where, not how!" Lew abandoned enough of the fear to sound indignant, He was astounded by it himself. "Same thing," God said. Lew inspected the figure before him. It wasn’t very tall; in fact. It was shorter than he was. It was bald on top with a slight fringe running around the sides of its head— and that still without a trace of grey. The figure was clean shaven and wore heavy rimmed spectacles. It was quite corpulent and stood in a sort of fog or mist up to his knees. The left arm was bent at the elbow, the forearm making a plat form on which the elbow of the right arm rested. It reminded Lew of Jack Benny except that the raised hand fluttered to and fro Iike a flag in a stiff breeze as God spoke. "You don't look like God," Lew said. "Oh, how should God look?" "I don't know. Maybe more like the one In Rome." Lew was thinking hard. "You mean the pope?" God quizzed. "No, no. Like the one painted on the church ceiling. You know by Michael what's his name." lew could see the painting in his mind. He had always been fascinat ed by the picture but more fascinated by the figure of Adam than that of God the father. "You mean like this?" and with that the short stocky figure of God turned into a duplicate of the one on the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Even a slight wind arose and gently swayed the garments and flowing grey locks of the old man. Lew gaped in amazement. "How'd you do that!" "It's easy. You'll get the knack of it in no time." God smiled and returned to his former pudgy self. Lew shook his head. "Well, which one is really you? If you can change to anyone just like that, do you ever get, you know...lost?" "Oh, no. Never. Here we always know who we are. You will too, once you get used to it. And the one you see now is the real me. At least it's the one I Ii ke best." Lew closed his eyes and shook his head again. "All the same, you still don't look like God to me." "Very well, old man, I'll confess. I'm not really God. That is to say, I'm not God entirely, but I am a particle of him. So are you. This was just a little joke we like to play on newcomers from time to time. We are sure God doesn't mind. Why he hasn't even been seen in this reality for more than a hundred millennia. The last anyone has heard of him as far a s I know, he was in a distant galaxy on some planet playing with mud pies. But that was just a rumour, I surmise, because I've never heard of anyone who's a c t u a l l y talked to him. I know I certainly haven't." Lew sighed. "Then who are you?"' "I'm a guide. it's my job to process the new ones through here and get them accustomed to this reality. Which is what we had better start doing. Now that you realise where you are there's no reason to dawdle any longer. You do accept that you no longer live in a physical reality but in a metaphysical one, don't you?"

rig. When he opened them again he looked Lew i eye and said, "Don't worry yourself any longer. He wasn't really your uncle's son. His wife had a little shall we say, encounter with the hired man. Do you remember him?" Lew remembered. Hot August days. Hayfields. Skin ny dipping in the creek. Lost innocence at fourteen. The voracious hunger for more and still more. "Him, too, eh?" The guide ran his finger down the page. "Ah, yes, here it is. No wonder this file is so heavy." He wasn't smiling. Lew's countenance altered as well; a frown formed on his face. "Is this going to count against me? Am I going to hell?" he inquired. "My dear man, I thought you understood. There is no hell." The guide looked incredulous that Lew could be so uncomprehending. "No hell," he repeated, "nor heaven either. Here we are only interested in truth and growth and becoming, not in making judgments. You must lay aside most of your other reality assumptions. They simply do not apply here." He shook a finger in Lew's direction as though he were about to explain further but upon reconsideration concluded it was futile. "Damned mortals," he mumbled under his breath Then added, "Shall we get on with this?" Lew was relieved and answered all further queries candidly, down to the last detail, the last man. At last the guide closed the folder, patted it gently and pushed it back into the space from which he had orig inal Iy taken it .

"Live? I thought you said I was dead!" Lew was becoming indignant again. The guide waved his hand in Lew's face. "We never die, old boy, not really. It's just an expression. Don't get excited; you're better off here, believe me." Lew's indignance was replaced by growing acceptance, "God," the guide said. "Now let's see. I've done this so often I know the procedure backward, but I suppose we should consult your file." He reached up into the colourless aether and pulled out a thick fol der. "You've been a busy lad, I see." He hefted the file several times into the air as though it were some sort of weight and he a weight lifter. Then he brought the file before him, grew solemn, opened it and ran his finger down the first page. "Hummm," he hummed. "Please confirm or correct the following in formation. You were born February 10, 1920?" He paused. "Correct." Lew affirmed. "In Pennsylvania, near Williamsport. Right?" "Right." The guide read a great many facts from the file, pausing in between each one for Lew to confirm it. When Lew had answered "Correct...Right...True...Yes... Affirmative...and every other synonym that he could summon to show that he was in accord with the informa tion, he settled into a regular rhythm of "uhuhs". In the midst of that cadence, something sounded a trifle false. "Wait a minute. Go back a bit. I think one of those is wrong." Lew grew excited at the prospect of an error. He had begun to think that error didn't exist in this reaIity, "Which one?" the guide asked. "The one about brothers and sisters," Lew said. The guide re-read aloud, "Number of children in family." Pause. "No, further down. The one about order of birth." "Hummm," the guide hummed again. "You are the fourth child. Right?" "Wrong!" Lew's response had the ring of triumph in it. "I am the fifth child." "But the fifth child is a girl and she died early. At birth, in fact." "Not so!" Lew was ecstatic. "You have erred. The fourth child died at birth. I lived." Lew was fairly shouting by now, and he was smiling so broadly that one could not have discovered that he had undergone death so recently.

"Now let me acquaint you with some of the facts concerning your existence in this reality." The guide cleared his throat and continued. "You have some de cisions to render here. I don't mean to pressure you. You may take all the time you need but you must make a decision sooner or later as we all have had to do. You do have options, of course, one of which is to remain here and rest, recreate yourself and re-eval uate your past existence before planning your next one. I will show you the tricks of the trade, so to speak, if you choose to remain here for any length of time. You will be able to do this for yourself later, but for now, I trust my manipulations will suffice to show you what is available. For example, if you wish to rest you may choose something like this." And with a grand sweep of his arm in a large semi-circle, what had been misty nothingness turned into an idyllic scene of trees, birds and streams. There was even a unicorn contentedly munching figs from a low hanging limb. This wasn't a flat projection, but a complete three dimensional landscape through which the two beings were presently strolling, the fog fast disap pearing in tiny whisps with each step. "Or this" he said and another gesture produced another scene even more serene than the last. "We could go on and on but i think you get the idea. Now, for the re-evaluation of your most recent life." The guide motioned as though he were parting curtains and there were scenes in which Lew became both actor and spectator. He recognised each one instantly; he had played them all before. "You'll learn from these what you did not learn in your past," the guide explained. Turning slightly aside, the guide gestured again. "Should you desire food, there is this." And there was a banquet table ladened with every imaginable ep icurean treat. "Perhaps some music." The guide pIaced a dozen young men in rather Greek-1i ke att ire playing upon lyres, harps, pipes and other strange instruments. The music was unfamiliar but totally compel ling. "Or, given your predilection for finding sensual pleasure with members of your own sex, this;" there upon the twelve musicians threw down their instru ments, removed their chitons, flung them into the air ana began to gambol wildiy, calling to each other and to Lew with playfully lascivious invitations, their naked bodies glistening under an Ionian sun.

"You needn't gloat." The guide was quite unable to conceal his pique. "We're only human, you know." He added glumly, "I'll check this out with the master computer," and he made a mental note to do so at his first opportunity. Then he continued as before, his voice returning by degrees to its usual calm, reassuring tone. Lew's answers again became an uninter rupted string of "uhuhs". At that point in the record, when Lew was seventeen, the guide shouted "hah!" A very long pause and then a direct question full of curiosity. "Did you really do all that with your cousin?" Lew had all but forgotten the incident, his mind very conveniently glossing it over, but the guide's mentioning it brought it clearly to the fore again. He felt badly not because of what he had done but be cause of th on with whom he had done it. Some one, his parents probably, had inculcated in him in his younger days the taboo against incest. Still as he remembered the vision of Jake's taut, young body, its taste, smell and touch and the passion it engend ered in him, it returned now in small but definite shivers of sensual delight that ran through his ancient body thus forcing from him a smiling "Yes" in answer to the guide's question. The guide raised his eyes upward for a moment and closed them appearing to confer with someone or some-

Lew was so enthralled by the scene he didn't hear the guide's complaint "Although how you find the strength for so much of it is well past my understand ing. And at your age! Shall we continue?" Lew remained rooted before the scene of cavorting youths. "I said, shall we continue?" the guide repeated. "Very well, if I must." The guide poked a finger into the balloon of Lew's fantasy and it disappeared. "What... where.." Lew moaned. "Now, may we continue?" "Yes, of course." Lew threw one more glance over his shoulder. "You may return to the physical realm from which you have so recently departed, but that is not likely for several of their centuries yet. Other options in clude going on to other realities." Lew looked perplexed. "Surely," the guide explained "you are aware that physical reality is not the only possible existence. There are others more interesting by far than mere phy sical reality. While it is necessary and mandated for everyone sometime, it is actually the lowest, the most primary and, if I may say so, the most primitive that we must experience. Why anyone would choose to go back to it for more than the required number of times is quite beyond me." The guide brightened, thinking of his own position. "?ou could, after some instruction, remain here as a juide, like myself. There are wonderful opportunities for growth; the work is stimulating. You see, what I am doing with you is only a part of it. I also guide those individuals going the other way. They have so much to relate of their adventures." Here the guide began to extol the virtues of other realms albeit most of his recounting of them were second hand as he had never been there himself. After so much of it Lew grew weary and was indeed becoming, if one may say it, home sick. The guide by this time was deeply involved in making such a comparison between a I I other realms and the physical one that the latter suffered horribly in contrast to the former. So engrossed had the guide be come that several of his mental images material ised quite without his being aware of it, and he seemed com pletely oblivious to this lack of propriety and contin ued his grandiloquence unabated. Lew prayed silently for a merciful reprieve, but had to laugh at himself for his misplaced logic, considering that God was probably off in some other galaxy, perhaps even in some other galaxy in some other reality, and couldn't hear him in any case. The guide, seeing the smile on Lew's face, took it as a sign of approval and launched even deeper into his private ecstacy, con vinced that his oratory had induced some rational thought in this mortal and had thus saved another soul from cosmic error. "Please, somebody, help!" This plea of Lew's was spoken aloud but went unheeded by the guide. It was riot unheeded by everyone, or at least that seemed to Lew to be the case for at that instant another form appeared nearby. At first Lew took it to be another of the guide's materialisations, it having shown up at the same instant as several other figures. The other figures, however, vanished, or rather melted into still other of rhe guide's phantasmagoria while the centre figure re mained clear and undiminished. Phi, jeez, he's at it again, isn't he?" The commentati-r was a dark haired young fellow, taller than Lew and thin as a wire. ''Are you another guide?" Lew asked. I'm just a messenger. Working to be a guide tnough. | think that one was promoted too soon. He -oes off like this with the least provocation. What dld you say to him?" I don't Know. We were talking, that is, he was fa Ik m c about other possible realities..." "Say no more. I understand," the young man grinned knowingly.

"Something should bo done. That one is a real men ace. Couldn't you just send him back until he's learned his lesson. Maybe another good dose of phy sical reality would cure him." Lew was serious. "I admit he's a pain in the arse, but we couldn't do that; that would be too much like punishment and we don't do that here. One day he'll o m o to the correc t conclusion, then he can continue with becoming. "Seems like such a waste of time," Lew said shaking his head. "What is time? We have no time here. That's an illusion from your other life." The boy shook his head, too. "It does Ieave me with another problem however. I have a message here for him. It concerns a Lewellyn Jennings." "That's me," Lew said. "What is it?" "It's supposed to be given directly to him." The messenger hesitated. "But he may not come down for a very long time. The last time he carried on forever the longest time. About a century by your reckoning. And there is some urgency here. Perhaps I could han dle it." "Please do," Lew urged. He did not care to wait a century in this circumstance regardless of what was to follow. "Well, then with your permission, I shall." The messenger referred again to his message. "There seems to be some question about your passing into this realm." "Seems simple enough to me," Lew said. "As I re call I tried to push a little old lady from in front of a street car and ended up being hit by the damned thing myself. Pretty stupid, huh?" "That's not the question. We know the facts of the situation. What we don't know is: did you die of your own volition? Did you choose to die this way?" "What kind of question is that?" Lew wanted to know. "I don't guess I even thought about it. There wasn't time. There was this situation and something needed to be done. I was there, so...I didn't have a choice. Does anybody?" "Of course, everybody does." The messenger locked at Lew as if he were a child. "We all choose the ^ a n s before we are ever born. Some do change their minds iater, they're mostly suicides, however, and that's their privilege. But you were supposed to live to be well over ninety and die of old age in your own bed. What we have to ascertain here is; did you change your mind?" "Well, if you're asking me to decide ex post facto, I'd have to say 'no' fo fn it one. Hell, wouldn't want t leave Walter."

"Who' ■> Walter," the messenger wanted to know. "I thought you guys knew everything," Lew chided. He's my lover. We've been together a long time. I love him very much." "Are you saying then that you didn't change your mind? That your passing was all a mistake?" The mes senger was very businesslike. "Yes, I guess you could say that," Lew admitted. "Then you haven't any options left to you. You must go back and immediately. You see there are a great many lives yet to be affected by yours so there is no time to lose." "Time?" Lew said. "Poor choice of words," the messenger agreed. "You're not going to be contrary about this, are you?" Naturally Lew wanted to return to his familiar world, to Walter and the life that was dear to him, but his perversity grew in direct proportion to the amount of clout he felt he had in a situation. Besides he felt that when someone screwed up, as someone obviously had in this case, that someone ought to squirm a lit tle before being let off the hook. It amused him to think that someone, perhaps in another galaxy, had stopped making mud pies long enough to think about it a little. He could imagine furrowed brows beneath long grey waves of hair. "You can't make me go back, can you," Lew wanted to know. "No," the messenger drew out the word into a long, low moan. He was squirming, too. "But I thought you would want to go back." If metaphysical beings could sweat, this messenger would have been quite damp by now. "Well, I've learned a little of the potential of this reality, thanks to my erstwhile guide and demented friend." Lew teased unmercifully. "Please," the messenger begged. "Walter?" he added hopefuI Iy. "What the hell," said Lew. "OK, I'll go." The messenger was visibly relieved and to show his appreciation offered whatever last minute request Lew might have. "Will I remember any of this?" Lew inquired. "Not specifically as to details, but deep inside you'll know. There will be a good feeling there." He hesitated only a moment then asked "Are you ready? The passing is not painful either one way or the other." "I'll manage," said Lew. "So long." the next sensation Lew felt was the coolness of the doorknob as he opened the door to his apartment. Walter, as usual, met him in the entry and greeted him with the Usual kiss, a bit casual perhaps but nonetheless with affection. Lew caught him around the waist refusing to release him. He insisted on and received a deeper and tar less casual kiss. Walter drew away slightly but remained within the circle of Lew's arms. "Feeling a bit randy tonight are we?" Walter said. "Not just randy, dear heart. I'm in love." Lew kissed him quickly again. "With whom, may I inquire," Walter teased. "You, my pet, and tonight I'm going to show you just how much." And show him Lew did. After dinner they removed themselves to the couch in the parlour where Lew em ployed every fibre, nerve and muscle, every word, action, breath, every iota of strength in his mind and spirit to show Walter just how much he loved him. Later they went into the bedroom where Lew switched on the television that stood at the end of their bed. He turned the sound down to null and the two of them made love by the flickering light of the screen. When they were spent of a II strength and passion and were lying back enjoying the afterglow, Lew reached out and turned the sound up on the television. "Want to watch the late, late news?" he asked. "You watch; I'm too tired." Lew lay back in bed and Walter moved sleepily into his arms. "You're going to kill me, o r yourself, one of these days with all this loving," Walter said drowsily "and how are we going to explain that to St. Peter?"

"We won't have to," Lew assured him with some au thority. "Didn't you know, we're going to live for ever!" Walter didn't hear him; he was asleep. Within min utes Lew, too, was asleep, his head leaning protect ively over Walter. Neither heard the newscaster's report of the demise of Margaret Weiler earlier in the evening. She was struck and killed by a runaway trol ly while attempting to cross Market street. The spokesman for the utility company was unable to com ment in response to why an empty trolly should be careening down a city street unattended during business hours. The seventy-six year old woman was the sole pedestrian on the street— very unusual for that time of day.

mmmmmmmm m■■ ■ h

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A LESSON Musing in the warm sun on a gravel bar beside a creek; an ancient timeless setting in the Ozarks. The face of the limestone bluff across from me changes, but it is the same bluff. Now a dripping rough, weathered grey height; host to creviced cling ing plants. The spring changes. Today it is rolling turbulent and turbid as it releases an abundance of water. The creeks' path and moods change, but it is the same creek. At this time cool, rushing noisely, over full with rain. Ail of these change and age, but seem timeless, as

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HOW THE RACE IS RUN Josh Young Youth, large, lusty, loving — Youth, full of grace, force, fascination, Do you know that Old Age may come after you, with equal grace, force, fascination? Walt Wh itman Yes, Walt, holding you now in my hand, at thirtyfour, lusty and loving, I delight at the prospect of my aging. I urge on those younger than I, smooth cheeked and muscled, in a grab-ass wrestling race to Death and Hereafter. Watch out, old men! We're right behind you, hot breath on your necks, in a sweaty, tumultuous revel of life. By the clock, by the calendar, we stay in an order ly procession, single file, some dropping out of line before others. But in fact we each run at a different pace in Life's marathon. Ironically those who drag their heels and try hardest to hold back find them selves fastest to the finish line. Gray hair (no hair), fat, wrinkles, aches and pain'. — how many passing these landmarks at twenty, twentyone, thirty, forty, fifty and beyond, hold tight to these signposts, crying, "No farther! I can't go on! I won't! I'm not done back there where I've just come from!" How many, reading these ages just now, invol untarily laughed, thinking, "Oh, to be troubled by being fifty again -- or forty, or thirty, or..." Strip naked (Walt Whitman and I eye you approvingly, hungrily). Tug at that gray hair (whatever's left of it) and cast off in celebration (like confetti) the hairs that pull out. Stroke your "love handles" and pat your belly. Wink at the wrinkles around your eyes and laugh a couple of new lines into your face. When you notice a pain, poke it, prod it, hold it Iike a lover. Now get back in the race (never have you been out). Use your senses. Examine the smallest thing your eyes can see. Rise early and watch the sun rise. Watch it set the same day. Lick a lemon, eat a peach. Taste the salt of your own sweat. Close your eyes and count the things you can hear. Make a good smell in the kitchen, make a bad smell outdoors. Touch and identify something in a dark room. Hold a friend by the hand. Hungry for sex? Need fuel in this race? You fear there is no one, or one you want will say no. Myriad men would love you (trust me, I know). You have what I crave be you old or young, fat or thin, short or tall, ad infinitum. Whatever your ideal, he exists; whatever you are, to another you're fine. Are you loving to those who love you? Have you sinned by avoiding those who would?

Don'1 leave the race to seek out your Ideal lover! Run where you are contented and fulfilled. (He's just ahead and lingers; another comes from behind, he'll catch up, you needn't wait.) Enjoy this race. Try not to look so far down the course you stumble and fall. Part of the joy is not knowing what lies beyond this stretch. You'll do fine, whatever awaits. Walt, your race is run now. I believe you're In the grass underfoot, in the birds overhead, In the stuff of the runner beside me. Out there are countless men who have loved men who have loved men who have loved men who have loved you. I shall love them all myself. On our marks! Get set! Go!

NUMBERS One of the joys of being a rural, lower middle class consumer is the challenge of supplying my personal wants and needs by using the left-overs,cast-offs, and throw-aways which are products of our affluent society. As a country dweller but a village worker, a car is high on my list of wants. A mechanic friend of mine swears "the best used car is whatever they made a whole shit-pile of". We have wasted many evenings in rambling discussions of all the reasons that statement was accurate and arguing the virtues of small-block General Motors products (his favorites), vs. slant-six Chrysler products (my favo rites) . With a little bent logic, all of this can be related to the joys of being gay now. The post W.W.II babyboom generation certainly fits the description "what ever they made a whole shit-pile of." We are active participants in a time when there is a record number (even percentage) of faeries - of all ages - aging. Society responds to numbers. When we boomers were children American culture doted on that age group (sup ply your own 50's pop culture examples). When we were adolescents the culture reverberated to the beat of the love generation (supply 60's examples). While we were legally becoming young adults, preoccupied with that state of affairs, it seemed that America went into a dormant, introspective period (supply 70's examples). Today we baby boomers are thirtyish (more or less), growing in personal and political power, searching for and establishing our identities. I hope that this record-sized "shit-pile" of maturing faeries will similarly effect society by adapting j_t to our needs. The concepts of networking and sanctuary are examples of ways in which increasing numbers of maturing faeries are using our powers to create insti tutions and adapt society to our needs.

I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE________ Donnie It's the title, or line from an old song. Oh, not that I think of myself as old or "middle-aged" — that dubious term, but now that my 20s and most of my 30s are over, I can honestly say I am glad they are past. I find much contentment being where I am now. Growing up in a smalI town gave few options for a boy who preferred classical music to basketball, and flowers to hunting. My older sister was quite ashamed pronouncing me "A Little Lord Fauntleroy with a book in one hand and a record in the other". Now I delight in my passion for music and I know that Wagner will jive me sustained orgasms even If I live to be 90. My Classmates will not likely be playing basketball then! Instead of hunting, I have found great solace in nature, and should I grow too old and feeble to even walk outside I can remember the indescribable peace of drifting to sleep with the sound of the Pacific while camped out on the coast of a Costa Rican jungle. School — another trial of youth — I could not be happier is behind me. The pressure to conform, be like the other boys, and worst of all be "weI I-rounded'.' Now i hated that term! Who would want to be "wellrounded" with no sharp edges or deep facets to reflect light? Now, more than ever, I can do what I want, without peer pressure. And praise be I'll never have to read a book just because if is on some English tea',.her's list! Now I read what excites me. Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell are my two greatest passions. (Who says older men are not interesting?) Their writings on psychology, symbol and myth have taken me to a realm which transcends history, and have helped me realize the illusion of linear time. Myth will be a life long study for me, and I relish its inexhaustabIe vastness. I can see myself, even in a wheel chair, time-tripping through the ages. How did I live before without these iI luminaries who have added such depth and richness to my life? Most of all I am glad my youthful anguish over sex ual identity is over. Having now accepted my gayness I can rejoice in it and celebrate it with new and old brothers I have found in the fairey spirit movement.

3B[g]BEEE_.

3B[d )EG

Two organizations you might be interested 3d in know- ^ j ing about (if you don't already), is S.A.G.E. (Senior Action in a Gay Environment, Inc.) 208 W. 13th St.. NYC 10011 and NALGG (National Association for Lesbian and Gay Gerontology), 1290 Sutter St., Suite 8, San Francisco, CA 94109. I would encourage you to write to both organizations for information about their services and conferences.

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30E

But is this bad? And what of S&M porn which depicts a play of dominance and submission and violence? Is the issue clear that those who play SAM see it as a game, not of force, but of voluntary interaction and trust building in which there is an equality of opposite roles? Nevertheless, some SAM porn would seem fo sugqest the use of force to subdue a sexual partner. And straight SAM porn does apnear to be a put down of women. Wi II the feminists turn their attentions to this form of the 1iterature?

th e t o

p o lit ic s of

Pornography is fantasy. Yet the question should be asked: Does violent porn influence individuals to commit violent or forceful, non-consensuaI acts? Or is porn harmless? Does its influence depend only upon the psyche of the individual?

by S tu art Norman Amid the issues dear to reliqiously motivated conservatives is the growing battle aqainst oornoqranhv. SurprisinqIy, some supnosed Iy liberal feminists are nrenared to join the New Right in their fight to abolish nornoqraDhy. Some feminists charge that pornography degrades women and men, that it makes women sex objects, and that it incites men to violence such as rape and spouse abuse against them. Feminists say that pornography is a violation of their rights, and that they should be able to sue porno pro ducers who depict them as exploitable objects. Granted a lot of straight pornography does promote the stereotyped, patriarchal sex roles and degrades women or treats them as second class citizens, and a little of it does depict fantasies of violence. But there is little evidence that even violent pornography incites the reader to violent acts. In fact, there is some indication that it channels off violent tendencies.

The feminists bring uo the issue of de-sensitization — a theory that the reader of porn will need ever stronger erotic stimulus to reach a level of satisfaction, thus the reader becomes hooked and seeks more violent and perverted means of sexual fantasy. But does it stay within the realm of fantasy or wiI I it spiI I over into real life? That is what anti-pornography crusaders fear. Yet the theory cannot apply to most stable indiv iduals who are able to realize the differences between fantasy and reality. The fears of feminist-, are probably groundless and very similar to the debunked theory that marijuana use leads to heroin use. It simply isn't true. It seems to me that feminists do have a valid issue here. If pornoqranhy fosters sexist attitudes t o w a rd s women, it should be changed. But that seems to me applicable only to straight pornography. Instead of focusing only on pornography, if women would focus on the attitudes towards violence in general in our culture, it would be better for all of us. Violence is the real obscenity, not the depiction and practice of open sexuality. In reality, we do violence to our sexuality and have created a sexually handicapped culture by repressing it.

Certainly women, especially straight women, should be concerned with the blatant inequality that their qender is renresented in straight porn. But it seems that part of the women’s movement is gearing up to fiqht all pornoaraohy — gay and straight. And they are falling into the trap of the New Riqht conservative factions who would put women "back in their place." Feminists and the New Right could forge an unholy alliance in their different anti-pornoqranhy views. The feminists see it as further ing women’s liberation, but the New Riqht only sees it from age-old religious views; read it as cultural control and sexual repression. With the return of Christian fundamentalism, guilt and sexual repression are raising their ugly heads. It is a resurgence of western cultural Puritanism — an anti-pleasure principle underlying our society. Many women are angry about pornography because they see it produced by uncaring men who become rich from it; thus they feel exploited. They may have some valid points here. But, among some feminists there may be an overreact ion which could create nasty consequences for all. What is at issue here is the freedom of speech- and expression. We've all heard that pornography or obscenity is in the mind of the beholder. What is blatantly pornoqraphic to one is only mildly erotically stimulating to another, if at all. There are no definable standards for pornography except those that the community will acceot. To some peonle anything dealinq with sex, even in a medical or biological context, is dirty and should be censored. These people want to protect their psyches from havinq to deal with personal sexual issues. And others do not see anything obscene in the most blatant porn.

In larger issue, socially, this repression of sexuality is symptomatic of personal unfreedom arid can translate into social and political oppression. Those who would suppress pornography and other social openness do so to protect themselves from having to deal with their inner problems that openness brings fo their consciousness. That is why they cannot leave others alone, and they are driven to deny the pleasures of freedom to everyone1. They cannot stand being exposed to other ways of behavior that do not fit their belief systems. But, they cannot admit this to themselves, so they rationalize excuses and Justify reasons that pornography and other contro versial issues and behaviors should be censored for the good of all. What is the weapon we can use aqainst this unreason and fear? Faery sexual openness, self-confidence, playful ness, and most of all, laughter. It is magic in the truest sense. Only laughter can debunk the self-right eous seriousness of the repressive, conservative, paranoid viewpoint. Only laughter can melt their dark, negative view of life. We must retain our ability to laugh at the ridiculous antics of the New Right, otherwise we could get caught in the trap of their guiit-mongerino and become as fearful, drab and grey as they. Our laughter represents our freedom from inner self-oppresion. If we can still laugh, then they have no power over us. Of course, laughter alone is not enough. We do have to work seriously and with great effort to stem the tide of oppression. Our ability to laugh and be open will keep us sane. A repressive mind is a weak mind. We must remember that. An open mind is strong; it knows itse'f, its weaknesses and strengths. The repressive mind is hiding from itself and can only think in terms of force to protect itself. It cannot know its weaknesses and strengths. So, our fight for openness is to remain open and be examples to others of wbaf happiness being open can bring. That is a power no one can take from us. It is the ultimate power for good and for the brotherhood of all. .___,

Some feminists attempt to make a distinction between what is erotic and what is pornographic. To them, pornography is obscene because it depicts the sexist, objectified, degrading and violence-prone aspect of the literature. But the issues become more complex when we deal with gay and lesbian pornography. Do the charges apply to it? Is it prejudicial as is straight porn? Is it degrading to men and women? Does it incite the reader to violence? Is it sexist? There seems to be an equality and love of the erotic depicted in gay porn. Then is this'obscene? However, gay norn may be purely lust promoting sexual fantasy wherein the subjects are depicted as objects.

By New Year's my job was over and the nerformances were over and still t had no direction. That evening Leonard Bernstein was conducting the Russian Emigre Orchestra to a full house at St. John the Divine Cathedral. Carl Sagan snoke. "Nuclear war has already damaged us...affecting our dreams, our hopes and the manifestation of our reali ties. Work for peace candidates." Afterwards, in Times Square and at the Bloolips New Year's Party, I wondered, what candidates? Milo!!

In Tennessee.

Milo ran for state representative two years ago on the "Tax Marijuana, Not Food" platform, and we had a swelI time raising issues, raising consciousness and raising hell. We could do it again, but on a larger scale. The Sixth District in Tennessee is quite a large rural area where tobacco is the major leqal crop. AI Gore, a liberal, slick politician, was our conqressperson, but he had decided to run for U.S. Senate leaving the field wide onen. We were off and runninq with eight other candidates as an independent oeace candidate. When we tethered our qoat on the courthouse lawn two years ago at the Smithville Jam boree, we scored a big hit. (The qoat was a symbol of the agrarian independent political movements since the 1890's) We would use it again. Drawinq on skills I learned at Bread and pupDet, I devised a 'peace Paqeant' to draw attention to our campaign and visualize the horror of nuclear war. The 'Daqeant' was performed with variations throughout the campaign at each rallv and succeeded in attracting media coveraqe of smaller peace vigils that we joined forces with across Tennessee and even into Alabama. Wearing grotesque masks the 'vic tims' carrying signs that read "qreed", "corruption", "war", "pollution", "racism", "sexism", "ageism", and "monotany" marcned counter-clockwise around the court house while a large dove (a five-person punnet) flew clockwise accompanied by rainbow wind socks and a mime playing a violin. Eventually the Dove gently settled down on the victims, and signs that read "War or peace", "The Choice is Ours", and "Milo Guthrie for Congress" appeared. Milo would then make his speech, and we would be on the evening news or the front page of the local paper. The media loved us. We weren't boring. Personal responses were usually 75? approval and 25? dumbfounded stares.

"The only th in g you !iave to o ^ e A t o an other, human hewing, e v e n , u youn own 6 fate. oft b e in g . Su* e v e A y tk im you do whetheA uou'Ae c o o k in g 'ood on doin g theAAptf on b ein g a s t u d e n t on bein g a loveA , you one. o n ly doing i/oua own b e in g ; y o u 're o n ay man* g a t i n g how e v o lv e d a con.sciouAne64 non o n e . .T h a t1.4 the. o n to d an ce theno i t ! " - Ram Dass

Our first fundraiser, "Polka Dots not Nuclear Spots", was held at a local health food store and restaurant in Mur freesboro. A capacity crowd of about 60 friends and follow ers, all in polka dots, joined us for a sit down dinner with entertainment at which local and not-so-local musicians performed. No Body Fluids is a drag group using politically conscious songs borrowed from the Bloolips and the San Francisco Mime Troupe. (I can't believe we got away with it and continued to perform aurinq the rest of the campaign!) Not much money was raised, but many consciousnesses were, and the supportive energy for the campaign was building.

lat I feel is the most important dance for me led me on a pilgrimage +o New York last winter and a search for in volvement in the oeace movement. At the Roerich Museum I learned of one man's commitment to neace and his efforts to create an international nax cultura. By disnlayinn the circled three-ball symbol, a buildinq containino our cul tural heritage would be snared the ravaqes of war. "Tell that to an MX missile," I thought. At the cramped offices of the War Pesisters League everyone seemed intensely busy and my idealism was met with the cynicism born out of long hours, low pay and a political system that is slow to change (ours, not theirs). One wonderful black woman took me under her winq and hearing of my desire to influence people thru entertainment and my skills in theatre and dance suggested my working with the Bread and Punnet Theatre. They had been around since the 60's and were in town doing the Washerwoman Nativity -- a politically updated version of the Christmas story using giant puppets and mobilizing large groups of people, it was a fascinating experience to discover that ordinary objects could become maiikal on stane. A sheet of black plastic became an ocean. Sticks and scrap lumber became skeletons. We were constantly transformed from cows to dancing landscapes, to Herod's men, to skeletons in the dance of death. Bread and punoet proved the perfect countemoint to my holiday iob at Christian Dior where the third world wimmin worked in the lower floor stockroom with white wimmin bosses, while unstalrs male bosses directed mostly white wimmin. It's true, Dior is a 'classic' company.

Green Vote '54, sponsored by the Sierra Club, invited us to an Al Gore Fundraiser at a Nashville Mansion. Being very much involved in the ecological movement, we had to attend, but Milo and I were in a quandary. We lacked apporpriate sun dresses, much less suits and ties. What to wear? In baby blue slacks and shirt with a polka dot ban dana Milo looked crisn and casual. In red satin pajama bottoms and electric green silk shirt I looked the perfect campaign director. Our entrance was well-timed. We arrived at the same time as the candidate (much to his confusion). Even more confusing to him was the amount of attention the media paid to us as he waited to be interviewed by a reporter who was more interested in where I picked up my drag. Many friends were made that afternoon. We were in the political aame but apparently not playing by their rules...a wild card in this political game of chance. Lebanon is a sleepy town in middle Tennessee. ihe Democra tic Women's Club was holdinq a debate for the Democratic candidates Lone of whom spent SI.5 mi I 1ion on the primary and lost — for a $72 grand a year jobJ t still don't under-

stand this!) Milo and I decided to no and check out the comnetition. °u I Iino un discreetly in the ped Dragon (Milo’s 1967 red and black Chevy Imnala), we changed draq and off we went into the hall where we found the same sundress/suit crowd. We were lookinq nunky. Here in this small university hall was a familiar aroma which reminded me of a visit to a large advertising firm in New York. The chrome and glass structure smelled of money and power. It was the incense of politics. Two rural lesbians and I were gossiping after the debate about how questions were never answered directly for fear of alienating or offending someone, and we marveled at the P®p~*Dnal magnetism of some of the candidates. An ooposition supporter came over and asked if Milo had really called another candidate a wimp? I assured him that it was not so and then sought out Milo who had reviewed all the candidates to a newspaperman. Goss in, it seems, snreads faster in poI itix than at a faerie gathering. It was our first lesson in political no-sneak and the reason ooliticians never seem to answer questions directly. An uraent message arrived on Short Mountain (via neighbors as we have no ohone or eIectricitv). Milo was not official ly on the ballot. It seems that he had failed to file a dun Ii cate oetition according to the rules. Of course, no one had told him that he needed to do this. Three other independent candidates were also ruled off the ballot for the same reason. (Tennessee politix at its best!) We decided to take it to court. Friday, the 13th, was our court date. A dozen supporters sat fanning themselves with campaign fans in pink, green, blue, and magenta emblazoned with Milo in "Venus de Milo" drag with the inscription, "end the arms race." We were the most colorful element in the courtroom. Milo wore a tie and a borrowed suit jacket that went to his knees. We had quite a fight over that issue. Since he didn't even own a tie, wasn't it dishonest to out one on for court? This was the most obvious symbol of how we were getting caught in the political web of assimilation. Like a child playing in a mud puddle — first a touch of mud here, then there and the next thing you know, you're covered. After a fine presentation by Milo and our lawyer, the judge said that he would have to think it over. We left the courtroom in high spirits brandishing our fans and pompoms. This created a fine photo for Greo Campbell, the Photographer for a local oaner. He later won an Associa+ed press award for his photo coverage of the campaign. We stayed in Nashville that night for our second major fun(d)ra iser. A Friday the 13+h Change Our Luck partv was a wild success owing to Sr. Missionary position as the Mistress of Ceremonies, performances by Tammy Why-Not, Anne Caouti and the fabulous No Body Fluids. At 3 AM I remem bered that we were to do another pageant in Murfreesboro that day. The bottom line was that Milo, myself and the props would have to be there. Leaving Nashville in a haze, Milo mentioned a parade. That was it! Join the parade. Frantic phone calls majikaliy produced friends and we were still unloading the Red Dragon as the last horse joined the parade. Yes, we followed the horses, ploddinq thru shit but looking fabulous. It was symbolic of the whole campaign. Then the judge made up his mind. We were ruled off the ballot. It took the wind out of our sails, but we had a gust or two left. Uninvited, we attended another debate, and what were the issues? The same as before we joined the race: bad checks and paternity suits. Energized after a trip to Vermont and Mew York and Washing ton, I returned to Tennessee and was ready to go for a write-in campaign to aet Milo elected in the Fifth District where a pro-MX, pro-nerve gas jerk was running unopposed. But, Milo didn't want to play. He said that he was switch ing from right brain to left, and that it didn't matter anymore. Disillusioned and feeling that we had let many People down, I returned, to the farm and focused my energies here. A month later, Milo was rejuvenated, and we were off using Milo's campaign to draw attention to smaller groups that were doing peace work. We were campaigning

against "congresspeopIe who refuse to restrain the pentagon's stranglehold on our budget and economy." The Peace pageant was a hit wherever we went, bringing new energy and a sense of theatre and media coverage to several small peace vigils throughout the state. We even went into Alabama where we joined forces in a demostration at a plant that manufactured parts for the Cruise Missiles. Oak Ridqe, Tennessee is where the first atomic bomb was buil+ and where they're still producing atomic weapons. The Pageant there was photographed and our license numbers taken.^Signs everywhere warned of pollution. It was very Karen "ilkwood. One Ifqht side to that demo was that we mei in a park bv the new Divio Center. It was very beauti ful, but there were large patches of earth covered in Plastic surrounded by colorful Plastic flags. Being an overeducated white man, I assumed that it was a conceptual art piece a la Christo. In reality, it was mercury pol lution, and the soi I was fo be removed. Towards election night the energy was building, but we couldn t find a buiIding to have our final 'Victory' party in. (The largest gay disco didn't want to offend its clientele). We gave up and opted for crashing other parties and checking in at a friend's place. The Red Dragon was as tired as we were. A screwdriver had to be used to bypass the starter with a bang, and the car was quite noisy. As we pulled into the Vanderbuilt Plaza, the n o w » »nd fan ciest hotel in Nashville, for Al Gore's colobrati in, the limousines stayed out of our way. the valet suggested that we park ourselves. Inside, the joy of being ■onne tod w itf> a winner mingled once again wi th the scent of money arid power. Milo d isanoe if "d In' , 1s. ■ ; | I quietly looked around. "Hey, Charlie," yelled a security person behind us. "Watch these two," he not so quietly whispered. It was lime to leave. Then Al Gore appeared with his family to make his victory speech. Dari in's, if didn't mean a thing to me, but the energy was near orgas mic 'or some. We left before it was over. We arrived .it a friend's party where everyone was glumly glued to the tube watching the election returns. Hey, this is life. Wo have no choice but to dance, and that's what w© did into the wee hours. And, that's what I'll continue to do. As Fmma <".0 1 said, "I'll come to the revolution only if I can dance."

DANIEL MORRISON

JLhe Doc i-mbsr time of year was aonroachinq, and being a ' tn<nr, as 11ways, I found myself at low ebb....this was never an easy time of the year for me and it seemed to magnify with each passing year. Muring those times when I was fortunate enough to share this time of year with a fr lend/lover, temners always seemed to be closest to the surface. perhaos this was a carry-over from times as a chi Id; our home was never very tranquiI after the nassinq of my mother and my father beinq left with 5 small ones, the eldest beinq only eight at the time.

I was the last to arrive, and it was quite apparent that the Christmas elves had been busy at the Blue Eye farm. The wood stove was merrily cracking away and the main room of the farm was bursting with love and good, cheer.

ibis was to be my first Christmas holiday in the Ozarks, and my life hid taken some very positive turns. Perhaps, if I were careful, the season would just slip right on into the New Year without beinq too prominent. Well, tnis was not to be the case because I received a ohone call from my new friends at Bfue Eye to come join them for the Christmas celebration. We were also to be joined by one of mv new brothers from tin- .outhern delta area of Arkansas. This qot me into *ye old Christmas snirit* and 1 oot busy with a favorite nasttime - baking. | decided to make some cookies and my favorite carrot bread, alonq with some new macrobiotic bread. The qood smells collectinq in the kitchen benan to really set the mood and I was in a 'cheery' mood, some of that last minute shonninn made the balance of the dav really fun. I loaded the truck and double-checked all of the animals to make sure that they bad plenty of food and water while I was none. The day was quite cool but the sun was continuinq to shine, so it was a pleasant day for my trip. The Ozark Mountains seem to send off special vibrations, and this day seemed to be even more powerful. Blue Fve is a small country town located half in Arkansas and half in Missouri. Mv friends have a farm located riqht outside of Blue Eye, on the shore of beautiful Table Rock Lake. It always qives me a thrill as I come over the last hill and approach the farm, with the lake as a backdrop. •

•

It was also pointed out to me that this was really a cele bration of the Christ-spirit within us all and if some of my ideas were other than the conventional ones...that was really OK! That gave me a very warm feeling deep within, and I sensed we were involved in a very special Christmas hannen ino. We had some eqonoq fortified with some brandy, and the beautiful Christmas music filled this little farmhouse. We had our snecial circle with touching, which had become a reqular happeninq at Manitwo Farm - we were gav men reallv reachino out and beinq in touch with one another. We had a delicious dinner, followed by Christmas readings and just lots of sharing. We finally all felt the day wearing away and found our places to sleep for the night. During the niqht Santa had been quite active, for we all found our stockings full to the ton. We had a warm, fill ing breakfast and then spent a good deal of the morning opening our gifts. A good many of these stocking fillers had been gathered from many sources; I suspect Santa had attended many a flea market during 1984. It was a fun 1ime and we had many laughs over these choices qiven to one another. We had a circle and were able to express to one another how uood it was to be at Blue Eye and share this time with our brothers. The Christmas feast was really delightful... turkey and cranberries with all of the many trimmings. the Blue fve Christmas was a very snecial hapoeninq for me and seems to have altered mv whole anoroach to this December celebration...! exoect that, for me, this holiday season w li never again be tied to the oast. ! can hardly wait for the next oarage sale, to start collectinq stockinostuffers for Santa. And to my manv brothers and sisters, bless you one and all!

•

THE TRAVELING

b y CRIT

Adidn't attend the 1979 gathering of radical fairies in Arizona. Dennis Melba'son did attend and after return in to New Orleans that year, he had a vision. Now, one must remember that over the years Dennis was a talented crafts man, workinq with varn and makinq incredable, awardwinninq nieces of art. Dorn is crocheted his vision into a shawl. Then he oresented the shawl to the circle of over 300 fairies attendinq the Catherine in Colorado in hones that the qood energy of the circle would continue through the healinq he received in makinn the ^hawl, Dennis asked that it be carried to other gatherinqs around the country. I remember someone caI Iinq out from 'he circle, "It will qet dirty!" Immediately Dennis' resoonse was, "It's washable."

HAWL

COIN The qatherinq at Short Mountain was the 19th. I have a feeling it was several places between Oct. '37 and the Nana Gathering of Oct. '33. I had been to all gatherings myself mentioned between Colorado and Short Mountain iri Oct. '82.

.7” second qatherinq the shawl went to was at Running Water, ,n’ 'n Sent, of 1980. It was at 5 other gatherinqs in 1930: Short Mountain, TN, Sect. Short Mountain, TN, Oct. Bolinas, CA, Oct. Harbin Hot Snrinqs, CA, Dec. New Orleans, LA, Dec. i93l saw the shawl in Atlanta in Feb. Eleven fairies enjoyed it's energy in March, at Clearwater Sanctuary in upstate Minnesota. Then it went to Short Mountain in May, ^unninq 7ater in June, Blue Heron Farm in New York on the 1 of July. it didn't help keep the mosquitoes away.

After the Naoa Gathering, to the best of my knowledge, it was In Key West, Feb. '84 Brittenbush, OR, Mar. '84 Running Water June, '84 Montana, July, '84 Fairy Bonding Ceremony, Seattle, Aug. '84 San Diego, Sept. '84 Running Water, Sent. '34 Short Mountain, Oct. '84 Louisiana Gathering, Nov. '84 The shawl was sent to me for the Mendocino Woodlands Gathering, Thanksgiving weekend...it arrived the week after. Before sending it to Dimid, it was used to help heal a few fairies iri S.F. I was surprised when f came uo to visit my new home here in Moneydew, CA, on the full moon in D e c , , that Kim had brought it along to give my new heme its special energy. It helped in my grounding and gave my home a special blessing. The shawl is now with Dimid in New ‘A;xico. Brittenbush has requested it for Teb. '83, Key Wevf in March, Short mountain in Anri I and May, and :dinning Water in lane.

^cos, Mew Mexico, in Sent. 1931 was the n t h qatherinq e shawl had been to. It was becoming a very special ^ ' c a l talisman to many because of the collected consciousness/energy of heal inn. Reunions were becoming mo,- and more apparent. After necos, the shawl went to the Oct. Gather inn.

There have been other gatherings around the country that the shawl has been to, but I'm not familiar with the dates. And, of course, ther e have been many -rather ieg-.. where the shawl was not Present.

I j ’ t10 r'riawl was in Mew Orleans for their Feb. Gathering, -V 7/ ou",tain in May, Punning Water in lane, San Diego and back to Short Mountain in Oct.

I- .sol are the different ones...for they are lonely and ,o must seek. We who are different have always been that way. I'von as children when we stood on the outside looki in, wo knew that we had been born that way, and that i! w our di fferentness which would ever inwardly remind is of that which we had come back to do, though conscious menory of if would elude us. We are spread all over the , yet we know one another like brother and sister... a look in the eye, a tone of voice, a subtle grace of / â&#x20AC;˘carriage. The loneliness of a lifetime is banished in the/ knowing that there walks another like unto me. Go with the spirit, my sister, my brother. May you accomplish that which you came back fo do, and more. All that is min is also yours for the doing of that job. Difference is our similarity, for we are the ones who are ) half-cycle out of phase with the rest. Our dissonance must iar them into speeding up, for we are the driving force of our advancement. We come, each one bearing a different gift â&#x20AC;&#x201D; some arrogantly and even with seeming < realty because it is often only in proportion to our irÂ ritant value that people can be prodded into taking notice of the gifts we bring. Others of us approach with humblenov. h k J love that, in self-effacement only, the gift and not the giver is remembered. And yet, should success crown our efforts, will we not again in some other day of life find ourselves once more wearing our badge of differentness as we strive to shape history rather than be shaped by it? For so it has been and ever will fee. Blessed indeed are we who have traversed the valley of loneliness and have arrived at the place where solitude md separateness are no longer known. We have sought, we have given, but we have also received. Alas, not call of us are blessed. Would that the tears of [ my compassion could assuage the sadness and heal the hurt ' of my perplexed, misunderstood brother and sister as they pursue the so irch along the 'Path of Differentness'. (sent by Floating Eagle Feather)

And finally, allow those who mourn the space to act out as they see best to do. If they want closeness, allow them FFa t• It they prefer distance, allow them that as well. Not intruding is very different from letting someone know that you will be there when they call upon you in their own time. To encourage is no 1 to demand.

Some of us, and certainly ill of us in flu future, will have to deal with the death of a loved on,:. Dealing with the aftermath of death is the subject of this article. I wish to acknowledge the contribution of the Mayan Blessing by Float inn U n l e feather of Charleston. Coincidently, it arrived the day of Juan'r. funeral. I also wish to acknowledqe the contributions of Carlos M. who stayed with me over the last few weeks, helping and carino, desnite the death of his lover, Michael, just a month earlier*

Waiter Rinder, the west coast poet, said it best a while back: "This time called life was meant to share." We are all born alone, and we alI will experience the phenomenon of death by ourselves. No one else can do these things for us. But, have you taken the time to think how vitally important sharing is?

To anyone and everyone who reads these words - if you feel anything - please write me through the magazine. In the love we all can share, thank you. Gerry

fveryihing of value has value only in ralationship to our being here on this planet together. Were you really and truely the last person on the planet, what value then? The question is not trite. Carl and Walter, two very important people in my life, were together for 57 years when I first met them back in the late sixties. Can you imagine the richness of what they were able to share for those many years? I knew them, by comparison, for only a brief time. Yet they left me a legacy of incaIcuIabIe vaIue. The importance of sharing is not in its duration, but that it happened at all . Perhaps I am wrong, but I see nothing so important as being close toothers. It seems t o m e that the fulfillment of every philosophy, every religious goal can bo attained by being attached to others genuinely through love, aflm.flon, and caring. I offer friendship willingly, granting the aero Iado of 'friend' very sparingly and only when we know it is reci procal. Still, there is no impediment to being friendly, of being qood acquaintances. Friends are special; we each choose them and share with them. Wo grow older together.

Oeath usually seems to happen to someone else. The exper ience of death is only for the one who died. For those of us still here in this life, the only thing we can do is to accept the fact of the death of someone who is close to

What else is RFD about? Why are you reading those words? Isn't your subscription a form of contact? What are you waiting for? Write one of the people in the contacts section, write the magazine, give some time if nothing else. Something else will come in time. Looking for a friend? A lover? Are you looking passively? Perhaps you could be a bit more active and do something positively.

e COme rom Afferent backgrounds, having different ex periences, different beliefs. Beliefs, no matter how different can help us in the acceotance of death.

Many years ago, Fdgar Guest wrote these words. I offer them to you in a sense as my own contact letter and dedi cate them to Juan's memory.

So too, there is much we can do for each other as brothers and sisters to make that process easier for each other. First, let your heart literally be your guide. Do not let a supposed inability to communicate stand in the way of Guidance. So you may fumble on the page of paper or facefo-face. The fumble is NOT of importance. Give your heart load, and despite the fumble the message will carry through and be understood. I know. I assure you it is true.

Oh, who will walk a mile with me Along life's merry way? A comrade blithe and full of glee. Who dares to lauqh out loud and free, And let his frolic, fancy play. Like a happy child, through the flowers gay That fill the field and fringe the way Where he walks a mile with me.

Second, respect the traditions and beliefs of the person wno still is here. Comfort is for the living in their grief. True, you might not agree with the beliefs of those who mourn -- what marten? You can respect them. If you do not know them, maKe the effort to find out. If you are a friend, this will be no hardship.

And who will walk a mile with me Along life's weary way? A friend whose heart has eyes to see The stars shine out o ’er the darkening lea. And the quiet rest, at the end of the day, A friend who knows and dares to say, The brave, sweet words that cheer the way Where he walks a mile with me.

1h ird, help by simply offering. Too many stay away saying nothing, doinq nothing. Demonstrate that YOU care.

Fourth, heln by accent-inn anger. Listen and understand. Fioing so makes you a participant in the process of accep tance and genuinely helps those who mourn. If will bring vou closer to your sister and brother, wherever thev might dwel 1.

With such a comrade, such a friend, I fain would walk till journey's end, Through summer sunshine, winter rain, And then? farewell, we shall meet again!

f lflh, do not bo afraid to speak of death. It is the com'iemcnt of life. Surely we wiI I all be equal then, will we not?

I offer this in solemn testimony and loving memory of those who have died in years past — those who trod the Path of Di fferentness.

remember the person who is no longer here. Speak *he name ar>d remember the good times shared — ~md the ,;li- that person was a genuine human being with faults; there is no need to idolize.

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Preheat oven to 400°. Bake Die shell for 10 minutes. Brown bacon til criso, then brown the onion in the bacon qrease unit I a lossy. After removing the pie shell, line it with a little of the bacon, onion, olives, and mushroom. Combine the rest with eqqs, milk, half-half, and snices; mix well and pour into nie shell. Bake 15 minutes at 400°, then reduce heat to 325° and bake for 30 minutes lonqer.

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Drain fish and break into large nieces. Combine all ingredients except greens. Toss liohtly and chill. Serve on oreens.

The Pengui n Book of HomosexuaI Verse Edited by Stephen Coote ’’enquln Books "25 Madison Ave., New York, NY 1 \\ *6.°5 (naper) 410 np., indexed The editor states that "this is a collection of noems by and about gay people." It ranges in 'in' and Place from classical Athens to contemporary New York. Included are noems from Sappho, Theocritus, Horace, Virgil, Goethe, Shakespeare, as well as Michelangelo, Verlaine, Whitrran, winburne, Symonds, Auden, Isherwood and many others. An excellent discussion of homosexuality throughout history provides an introduction to the book, and it alone is worth reading. The poems are arranged in a historical context, so the reader can see how homosexual verse evolved through the ages. This type of reading may be more literary than most gays are used to, but its message is worthwhile: human love is still a powerful force. This book should be required reading for all gay men and Lesbian women. It is a cele bration of encouragement and strength.

Settinq the Tone: Essays and a Diary by Ned Rorem Coward-McCann, Inc. 200 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10016 383 pp. From the gay composer/author whose oast literary endeavors include the self-revealing, sex and oersonal ity-fiI led and New York diaries, we are now offered Settinq Ihe _fone, a collection of essays, articles, and diaries. Ned Rorem's style remains true: a strange combination of warm-hearted bitchiness and intellectual, perceptive cattiness. His diary topics range from "Being Alone," his struggles with solitude and alcohol, to "The Piano in My Life," which begins "I am my ideal pianist." The selection of essays, PeooIe, covers the amazinq range of personalities that Rorem has known and "known": Noel Coward, Jean Cocteau, W.H. Auden among other! . •ach essay is full of personal anecdotes as we II as lively discussions of the artist's work. Also of interest is a group of essays on music mostly dealing with French composers ("Eric Satie is the most overrated of the under rated composers.") and including the amusinq and slightly bitter "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Critic." the Tone appeals to a wide range of tastes and interests, provides insights into the past and present gay situation, and in addition to showing us more of the ascmating life of "Ned Rorem and Friends," it well fulfills the minimum gossip requirement for a Ned Rorem book. —

John Ferguson

Mike McCabe

My 'leen Mark Pa in Is Love (A Col l e c t i o n of Lat in Amor j( an r-ay I i<-1ion) Edited bv Winston ley Iand Translated from Snanlsh and Portuguese by f.A. |at <>y Gay Sunshine p rer>s f\0. Box 49397, an FrqncK .o, CA, 94m o $10.09 (plus <1 d o s tage/handItno if ordered directly) 383 pages My Deeo Dark nain Is Love is a collection of Latin American fiction by twenty-four' authors. Argentina and Brazil are represented mainly, with short pieces from Mexico, Cuba and Chile. They reflect gay life in Latin America and its place in the society as a whole. They are not for the fainthearted. To quote the translator, "relentless materialism, insistent emphasis of money, on the market place, sexual or other, on buying and selling of bodies, sex, and even affection." Grinding poverty, the Pursuit and power of money, the pre-eminence of youth, rigid roles of macho 'active' masculine gays and 'passive' not-men, acceptance of drag queens and effeminate queers and their vilification are the recurring themes. For most North American readers these stories are a proStonewall viewpoint of the homosexual in society; isolated, filled with self-hatred, oppressed both inside and outside his circle and imprisoned within rigid sex roles.

Another Mother Tonnue: Cay Words, Cav Worlds by Judy Crahn Beacon Press, 198/1. < 10.95

Mv favorite was the novella "The Volunteer", a story which mirrors the above themes. It involves a suner macho sergeant who, while hating faggots, spends his Ii systematically seducing and later discarding young marines in his outfit. "The Volunteer" dramatically brings to fruition the results of this kind of lifestyle. My heart reached out for the characters. This book is highly recommended. It will amuse, entertain and educate.

' " ‘Y ' rahn is a lesbian noet living in San Francisco. She teaches Gay-Lesbian studios in the Bay Area. From her ■esearcn and personal experience, she has written a major book on the origins of aay words, myths and behaviors, caving, in part, autobiography with an exuberant tolling . . es of our cultural roles, she offers us our lost ^entage. Here we find myths of feminine and masculine -jwer, the parts we played in other cultures of the past. ! Is knowledge can liberate us and empower us to play a arger role in our own culture; thus knowing what we have e e n ’ we can envision what we can be.

-Beautiful Day

The Cosmic Code by Heinz R. Page Is Bantam Books 666 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10103 S4.50 (paperback) 333 pp.

•ach chanter is based on related myths and word or in ins: '1 ^eman+'c organization. The book is chock full of inforu ion on names, beliefs, rituals, traditions, behaviors, ' ° ors anf* signs. We can find why lavender has been our 'O °r for thousands of years.

The Cosmic Code explains throughly (and sometimes with too much detail for the light reader) the history of quantum physics as part of man's eternal quest for know ledge. As the author himself points out, when the historians of the future look back on the 20th century, they may in all probability see the development of quantum physics as its most important event. This Is because quantum physics forms the basis of virtually all modern sc ience. iCont-inuzd)

^he text ls generally vorv easv and eniovable to read, bu+ o . |ries Grahn does tend to lose her noint in digression ■ )nq +°.her exuberance in detailing so much delightful n ormation. Nevertheless, it's still a iov to read and a must for all faeries. —

—

S t u a r f ‘'orman

Computer technology and genetic enqineerino are two of quantum physics’ many offspring which are makinq an enormous impact on our world today — and frightening many with their capacity for misuse. The Cosmic Code Illustrates the men and the ideas that have brought us to this perilous present: who would have thought in 1905 that the theory f ~ MG'* would eventually lead to a world teetering on the edge of nuclear annihilation?

Jackie's Indoor/Qutdoor Gardening Charts by Jacqueline Hostaqe Betterway Publications, Inc. White Hall, VA 22987 15.95 (naoer) 127 d p . Organic Garden ing Under GI ass by George (Doc) and Katy Abraham Van Hostrand Reinhold Company, Inc. 135 W. 50th St., New York, NY 10020 $11.50 (paper) 308 pp.

Mr. Page Is' writing style tends to drag when he wants to emphasize proof of quantum theory, but his book is otherwise quite readable. I can't help but think that Bantam made a mistake sending RFD this book for review — high technology is not exactly what RFD is about. But, if you are curious as to how all our current technology came to be, I cannot imagine a better introduction than The Cosmic Code.

Garden Construct ion by Peter McHoy Blandford/Sterling 2 Park Ave., New York, NY 10016 $6.95 (naoer) 128 pp.

0000000 Soace-Time and Beyond by Bob Toben and Fred Alan Wolf Bantam Books 666 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10103 33.95 (panerback) 189 pp.

Jackie's Indoor/Qutdoor Gardeni nq Charts is a handy ref erence tool for beginning or absent-minded gardeners. Checklists, charts, guides, and glossaries skimming across almost all necessary gradening tonics make u p the bulk of this book. Especially useful are lists of where to find seeds, tools, books, publications, qarden clubs, and your local Extension Service agent.

Snace-Time and Beyond is a delightful and very readable book showing the re Iationshid s between current scientific theories on the nature of the universe and the ancient eastern philosophies' views of reality. The book is a series of cartoons, each with a statement proposed by philosophy and supported by scientific discoveries. Each statement is further expanded upon in a larger essay section at the back of the book.

Organic Gardening Under Glass contains everything you need to know about building and running your own greenhouse. Information contained here about plant cultivation is good, but can also be found elsewhere. The really valuable part of the book covers greenhouse construction, every thing from simple home-made window boxes to full scale commercial greenhouses. Highly recommended, this book provides real impetus to do it yourself, whether your goals are modest or ambitious.

Ihe cartoons are a cumulative sequence, that is, each one builds upon what has gone before. Among the subjects touched upon are interdimensignal travel, astral pro jection, the nature of time (and how to travel through it!), levitation, teleportation, and more.

Garden Construction deals not with growing techniques, but rather physical construction of everything from fences and walls to sheds and greenhouses. Each topic receives a couple of pages with nice illustrations. None of the treatment is in depth, however; idea-starting and interest building are more the goals of this book. Some topics (such as "Electricity in the Garden") may require more capital than most RFDers are willing to invest. Good short introductory sections on Tools and Materials are included.

Space-1ime and Beyond was originally pub Iished in 1968 and has recently been expanded to include the latest theories and other new material. It is a very good source of scientific support for mystical and psych ic phenomena. — Charles T, Creekmur

— to I«n t.iqhtn ing : The Soc ia I Theory of Mag ic by Daniel Lawrence O'Keefe Vintage, 1983. $9.95

Woody Black

Blossoms of Light: An Introduction to Flower Essence Therapy What an incredible book! A short review cannot do it justice. by Yarrow Treefriend Earthfriends O'Keefe has written a masterpiece of interdisciplinary 701 Park Dr. NE, Atlanta, GA 30306 scholarship; a maddeningly thorough study of magic from $5.50 (postpaid) sociological, psychological, historical and anthropological views. While not addressinq the nrobelm of the supernatural The action of these remedies is to raise our vibrations or extra sensory powers, O'Keefe leaves the question open. and open u p our channels for the reception of the It is a purely humanistic study. Spiritual Self,.... They cure, not bv attacking the disease, but by floodinq our bodies with the beautiful I've never seen a more footnoted and referenced work. The vibrations of our Higher Nature, in the presence of bibliography Is astounding for the number of books cited. which, disease melts away as snow in the sunshine. It had to be a labor of love or at least an obsessive fas — Dr. Edward Bach cination with magic on the part of the author to sustain such an incredible effort towards scholarship. Nevertheless, Ten years ago, ! came across a wonderful book called, The the text is not difficult to read. It may be a bit drv, but it is full of interesting bits of data and fascinatinq ideas. Secret Life of Plants. I finally got it! 1 really felt it! Plants are another life form, with their own unique expressions of Being, deservinq of our respect, and perhaps wrobably the most important lesson this book can teach us even our love! Also, I came across a brief passage is how magic arises out of re! igion as a protest to the describing the work in the early 1930's of English collective socialization and thus is a means fo nrotect the physician Dr. Edward Bach, who discovered the healing individual from being swallowed up. O'Keefe strongly properties of what he called flower remedies. demontrates that religion Is society — a cultural view point or world view. Yet magic can and does change religion Fifty years later, the pioneering work of Dr. Bach continues by its resistance to and interaction with it. Magic draws and I am delighted now to share with you the most recent upon religious ritual to turn it to its own ends. work on flower essence healing done by my beautiful friend and faery brother, Yarrow Treefriend, which he records in a Beyond the political and ideological implications which are book entitled, Blossoms of Light. This work can aid both only the surface structure of society, O'Keefe's study shows those who are familiar with the use of flower essences and us how the deep structure of society functions. Philoso those who have never heard of such an approach to healing phical iy, it raises new questions which may provjde for a dis-ease. Skeptics are also welcome. Yarrow comes from liberated understanding of the human condition. the background of an objective scientist; he has a Master's In biology. — Stuart Norman (Continued) 56

Where to begin? Yarrow says, "The best way to learn how flower essences work is to begin actually using them." Step by step, Yarrow takes you into the world of plants, gives a brief history of flower essence healing, describes methods of diagnosis (attunement, pendulum work, channelling, etc.), and how to develop active involvement in your own healing. Dr. Bach always emphasized that you are your own healer. In effect, then, the beginning reveals a joyful paradox: your disease or problems bring you to your own underlying healing power through self-loving. Yarrow continues by discussing his experiences on how to bring essences into practical application in our daily living: how essences "work", how to use them with other healing methods (traditional and otherwise), how to bring them into our relationships and meditations, and how to take the essences. For the daring, Yarrow also offers insights into ways of using essences for further explora tions. In other words, in this system of healing, there is a built-in opportunity to explore the seIf-empowerment which can come by participating in the preparation of essences, even from your own backyard! Yarrow suggests guidelines for attunement with plants and ways to begin to "listen" to them to determine their healing properties, what Dr. Bach called the "virtue" that they can impart to us. Reading The Secret L ife of Plants led me to be Iieve that plants have their own unique language, and can communicate with each other and with us if we can listen. Yarrow is one person who has taken the time to stop to see what plants can "say" to him. The final chapter of his book is devoted to sharing this communication, and to his wish that others would join him in this new (dare I say?) dialogue! Allow me to share his inspiring communication with the Deva of the Black Locust tree:

— Raven Wolfdancer

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A movement is being built to challenge these forms of exploitation and the cultural attitudes that go with them. Nature alienation and anthropocentricism wound our society: the healing requires political action. Read about it in A GEN D A , the independent, bi-monthly newsmagazine of the rapidly growing animal rights liberation movement A G E N D A 'S 25 contributing editors-activists from all over the United States, Canada, England and Australia keep you in touch with the action for improved relations with the rest of the planet. □ Here's $15. Send A G EN D A tor one year. □ Here's $2. Send a sampleAGENDA. Name

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Both Yarrow and I, as do many people around the world, share in visions like the one coming from the flower message above. We feel that the healinq energies offered by flower essences are going to help catalyze the trans formations needed to help us realize our potentials as Human/So iri t Beings. For this reason, I am pleased to introduce Blossoms of tight to you. Again to quote Yarrow, 'By striving for harmony, by using flower essences and other healing energies as tools given by the Creator, we will raise our awareness and effect a true revolution in consciousness. We will transform ourselves and ultimately transform our planet."

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AGENDA

Haven't you ever wondered whether we really need to exploit animals and nature the way we do?

Multidimensional life forms we are. Our existence and work have many aspects of which we are unaware. Our access to and consciousness of these aspects will grow and expand. Brain patterns will encompass a much broader spectrum of activities. Physical and astral movement among planes will become routine and wonderful. A greater consciousness is emerging that blends indiv idual fragments into a vast and integrated whole. Keep your signts high to move quickly into this stage of your evolution. Do not be frightened by these new changes. You have been preparing for millenia and are now ready for a great metamorphosis. Spread your gossamer wings into the rainbow light and fly!

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mAGENDA

Why do people sink whaling ships, release dolphins, £ 1 boycott veal...?

Handmade quality hammocks from YUCATAN, MEXICO All sizes and colors, for indoors and outdoors Holds from 1 to 4 friends in sensuous comfort F R E E Color Brochure. MONEY-BACK G U ARA N TEE We are a grass-roots, RFD-supporting, country business Star Route, Box67-C, Dept. R Bridgeville, CA 95526

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Fred takes Joe back to a lovely, we 11-decorated apartment. Joe is impressed by the subdued interior, the harmonious colors, the tasteful details, and the courteous treatment that Fred shows him. The topics the two men discuss re veal a mutual interest in many of the same things. Joe is impressed and feels he has met a Mr. Right.

have often heard the expression, "Don't Judge a book by its cover." In the gay world, as it is probably in the straight world, we sometimes don't even Judge a book by its cover, let alone by its contents. We too frenquently in volve ourselves with people whom we have considered super ficially, if we have considered them at all. We get our selves easily into relationships that are sometimes ex tremely hard to get out of.

After a night of intense physical exchange, Joe wakes with a wonderful feeling inside. His heart is touched by the handsome man lying beside him. He knows that he could love this man. Fred has said all the right things, and Joe is looking forward to seeing Fred again.

falling into 'easy' relationships occurs easily because of the nature of the gay lifestyle, a lifestyle marked by subterfuge, transience, and vulnerability. Because gays so often encounter one another outside the mainstream of social intercourse, they are vulnerable to unpredictable ramifications. Fleeting sexual contacts are brought into one's living space without any prior knowledge of the other person's history. We welcome into our arms at night, in a state of sexual desperation, those whom we would shun in a traditional social context. We give little considera tion to character when we concentrate on secondary sexual characteri s t ics.

Over orange juice and toast, Joe offers his phone number to Fred. All of a sudden, a shadow crosses Fred's face as Fred shrugs his shoulders. Fred lights up a cigarette, and as he blows the first puff of smoke into the air, he informs Joe that his lover is out of town and will be back that evening. They can't see one another again. Fred ex plains how much he has enjoyed the encounter and regrets his saying good-bye. Later, Joe walks down the concrete steps into the morning with anotner door closed behind him and another resolution not to let himself be wounded again.

Also, there exists In gay culture a strange rationale. It goes something like this: if a person turns me on, he or she can't really be all that bad. Truly, sexually, If there exists a compatibility, the person may not be all that bad s e x u a M y , but outside the bedroom or cubicle, the person may be monstrous in his psychic manipulation of other people. He uses the very power of his sexual attrac tion in the bedroom to control those aspects of the other person's life outside the bedroom.

As lays, we often condemn the straight world for its puri tan! al reticence and the social games it plays, but let us consider the fact that sometimes observing caution in ‘ -■ ial re I itionships may not be a game; it may be an op portunity to gather facts and observations about another person over a period of time — an opportunity to read the book :nd weigh the evidence consciously, especially where our emotions and feelings and lives are concerned.

Linked closely to this idea is the thought or mentality that if the other person has a lovely, well-maintained apartment or house in a good neighborhood, the person must be 'o.k.' How many times has the following scene been acted out?

(Note:

The letters are generally in ZIP Code order which is East to West, more or less.)

Vear RFV 8rothers: I am meeting an understanding friend, a person toko, Itk e myself, ha* a pA-tmaA^ In terest In sp iritu a l growth [not relig io u s). 7 wa4 Involved with a person whom I loved sp iritu a lly , in tzlleclu atly, physically, and emo tionally. He moved away to go to school and met someone e ls e . I t has ‘teen extremely d iffic u lt to adjust to the toss. Wkere you liv e and w'iat you do Is not so important as 'who you are. I am 40 yeans young, 148 lb s, 5'9”. - am told I am a ttra ctiv e. Although I do not have s p e c ific requirements such as age, s iz e, e t c ., e t c ., I gen erally a ttract men who are younger than J. 7 tend to be G.A-F^A/P. I love the outdoors and although I live In a ivestern 'lew rngland city , 1 would much p refer the country. 1 have a decent job and have been tying to build a nest egg ^or the future. I enjoy yoga and occasional pasting. ‘ Ik e antiques and c la s s ic a l to popular music, plus hiking, garden<ng, and cross-country skiing. I hetceve attaining a state of love <n a relationship Is p o ssible; kowqy Q !L> does requ ire a mature a t t lude and an awareness of what, i t Is to work hard. J/. any of, this appeals to your Inner °'ux3> please fe e l free to w rite. P-J. of Mass.

c/o PFP

CONTACT YOUR FELLOW RFD RFADFRS RFD prints contact letters free of charge. We also provide a free forwarding service for readers who wish to remain anonymous. Just give your address as "c/o RFD", and we will forward your mall. Of course, donations are always we Icome! Please condense your letter to 200 words or less. Spelling and punctu ations will be corrected as needed for clarity unless you specify otherwise. It helps to be positive in stating your interests and pre ferences. Saying 'no' to any parti cular trait or characteristic may unnecessarily offend a brother. The Brother Behind.Bars pen pal program is a separate service pro vided for our readers to make con tact with prisoners. You may want to write us for suggestions regard ing writing to prisoners before re sponding to prisoner responses to your letters.

Vear RFVers, Is anyone In terested In trop ical agri culture, or In living on a trop ical Island? 7 have recently moved ta the western mountains of Puerto Rico and would be happy to see some RFVers s e t t le near me. Knowing Spanish would be helpful but Is not essen tial. 7 am GWM, 64, S'11", 160. I am a r e tired colleg e librarian and have not liv ed In the country before. I bought a building s it e , but am living In a rented house near my lo t this year. 7 plan to divide my time between some writing projects and getting my s it e ready for a house. I also hope to learn to garden since this is a gard ener' s paradise. The largest, lo ts next to my property run up to $6,000 for a 1/4-acre lo t. However,' prefab houses range from un 59

der $10,000 to about $16,000. The cost oX having the house erected runs about $4,000. If one can erect i t himself, that cost could be saved. The lo ts are targe enough for a [yearround] ,garden. There are wild foods also. Water and e le c tr ic lin es have been in sta lled but there are no phone, lines to this area. Several lo ts are available next to mine And in the area. The house I am living in is on a farm of nearly 50 acres. The owners would be approachable about, renting the. farm. The area is very mountainous and scenic. The places 1 am writing about are about. 9.5 miles from Mayaguez (on the coast) and 7 miles from Maricao, a rea l moun tain torn. The people here are friendly and not homophobic. In fact, many peopl.e In this area seem to think that homosexuals serve a useful purpose In society by taking care of the. 'needs' of the local young men. I am not. looking for someone to liv e with me as 7 generally prefer to liv e alone, though I enjoy having friends. This is why I am looking for good gay neighbors. I w ill make an e ffo r t to reply fu lly to serious inquiries although my w rit ing time is lim ited. I w ill also try to be helpful (when asked) to RFVers planning a vacation in Puerto Rico. It w ill not always be convenient to have guests; but when it. is , I w ilt welcome v isito rs. In gay love, Glenn of Puerto Rico c/o RFV

humoAOuS, u n a ffe c t e d , sin ceA e, and CAeative fo l k (who d on 't use t h e ir e A e a tiv ity as a smokescAeen as 7 am sometimes w o n t to d o ].

Dear RFV,

7 am a 68 year-old Gay mate, white, who as 1 have. matured, find that I tik e bondage. I am not into S6M on. any other kinky s tu ff. 1 do t ik e to be tied up and become a bondage .stave doling the 6ex act. My pro blem is that I can' t find any young Ma.sf ers between the ages of, 23-35, except those that charge for a session. I don't uxxnt that. I am retired and fxee to travel. anywhere in the United S tates. Is there anyone of you leade as w’<o might be in that age gnoup, tin t would be in terested in a bondage Slave for home sessions? If theAe is, please ionite to: Lou P.0, nox *5°

Manomet, Mass, '■>2345

Hail Comnades, Recent addition to the su b -su b -cu ltune of RFV heneby attempts to captune his psyche in lim ited veA biage. Mu name is Pan, p le a s e d to meet you. Living and cwrking in a psychiatric half-way house in Cambridge, MA, .diene J house-manage this s e l f contained carnival a t the wondh/ age of 23. Frequent cnies of "but idiot does he know, he's only a ce ramics major from Bennington" f i l l the air and d e fla te my confidence. Walking daily upon that razor-sharp edge o<5 sanity, looking down into that black abyss can be a t i t t l e unnerving at times. This work is both stimulating and draining, up liftin g and depressing, and best o f all--n ev er bo>i6tg. Pn.ese.ntly unable to immense myself in the gtonies of nature--but l i f e amidst the uAban blight does have its moments. Spent the la st few yeans in the wilds of Mew Fngtand with mu psyche uncons flic ted; ta lk ing to trees and clouds was fun fon a while--personallt/ l find humans much mone intriguing. I would best desenibe myself as a disheveled, quiet, and exeative soul, sometimes hand to figune out. but veAy easy to get along with. Fascinated by nature, anu ant foam, and the occu lt (positiv e, of couAse]. I'm an Ames with a Sag i t tartan moon (ioc' te talking f i r e . ..) . Gay unban cu ltu re makes my stomach heave, though I'm phoud o f qua u n i v e r s a l cultuA al n oots and puApose. I'm a t t r a c t e d to d i r e c t , h on est,

I n t e r e s te d in hearing fAom any r e s onating life -fo n m . Anyone passin g through Boston has a p la c e to s ta y (and maAvcl a t ] , i f th ey can ex e rc i s e d iscA etio n . 7 ta k e fAequent tA ips to m aintain s a n ity , Aeawaken my sen se o f adventuAe, and to p o s s i b l y m eet you.

Van of the Concrete Foaest M assachusetts

e/o RFV

OppoAtunity C a llin g —

PcA4on wanted to manage w h o lis t ic a ll y my woods and faAms foA me. You shou ld be aware o f th e c y c le s in l i f e and natuAe. Both p A a ctic a l and in t e l l e c t u a l s k i l l s axe n eeded, so ex p er ien c e i s h e lp fu l. 7 wo/ik w ith co u n selin g , histoA y and academ ics so 7 can on ly be a p a r t-tim e helpeA on th e faAm. Sex sh ou ld not be th e most im portan t is s u e . (Canting to l i v e in , w ith and fAom t h e AuAal l i f e s t y l e shou ld be th e is s u e . In one y e a s ’ s tim e you shou ld be s e l f supposting and may l i v e in th e house oa c o t t a g e . 7 have some t o o l s , o ld farm machineAy, a tAactoA and a baAn you can u se. Animals oa f i e l d cAops can be A aised. These i s a p atch o f r a s p b e r r ie s th a t can be made m arket a b le and wood th a t can be m asketed. L am 30 yeass, 5'77", 140 lbs, dask blond, a ttsa ctlv e, tend to be passive with men. 7 seek an egatltasian, intimate, g rowing selation s hip, but this is not a prerequisite fo s the above position. If you ase in tesested, wsite: David McClay Stanley RFV 1, Box 292 Haul-ton, Maine 04730

7 need a help-mate fos about fiv e months--fsom Man thru Septembes. The focus is pointing an old farm house- -quite a job, but a leisu rely one with |$xoe mcnf/ii to go about i t . It sould be id ea l i f the pesson has simple carpentry skills--n othin g fancy. 7 w ill pay $50.00 a week, which can hardly be considesed a salary--but i t is a good "alloioance" --in fiv e months a thousand dollass can be saved. It's sort of tike. Peace Corps wosk, involving no heavy relationship. Besides which the island whcAe 7 liv e is veAy beauti fu l, Islesboro is a gorgeous jewel located three mites o ff the Maine coast--with a very interesting sum mer colon y--ideal for somebody who wants to pass a summer by the bay. Swim, sauna, and canoe--sip a few ice-cream so d a s... The old house which 7 am restoring is from the Sea-Captain's era. It is ru stic, 60

yet very comfortable with aplenty of room for privacy. I am hoping that someone w ill contact me. With love, Darrell Rolerson Isles boao, Maine 04848

Dear RFV Men, Qu a fiv e acre + nural commercial enter p rise is situated on the coastlin e in Rhode Island, affording proximity to the fin est beaches on the Atlantic coastlin e. We are looking for an am bitious man to do gardening, mainten ance, lig h t carpentry, and help uxatch over the farm animals and many v ariet ies of chickens and birds raised here. The position includes room 8 board plus salary, and is one of resp on sib ility and great growth poten tial. The farm is supported .through several retail, stores and a restaurant on the grounds. The buildings were bu ilt between 7790 and 1870. Mouse duties are shared. Our baekgounds keying in architectu re and teaching. Tf in terested, please send a le tte r or resume; fe e l free to send recent photo.

Factory Gardening c/o RPC Box 254 Charlestown, RI, 02813

Dear gentlepersons, I am a 28 year old gay man who is presently in the middle of graduate school. I ’ve been going to school and! or working for several years without a break, so I'm planning on spending this summer enjoying myself and tra v el ing. 7'm going to Washington and Ore gon via the Canadian R.R. system. I ’m looking for brothers who would lik e a v isito r for no more than two weeks and possibly as short as a few days. I love the country and rural areas. So, i f you’re on the land, that suits me w ell. I'm also in terest ed in certain c it ie s (S eattle, Portland, Eugene, and Vancouver], so i f you liv e thereabouts, that su its me ju st as w ell. I also plan to get down to San Francisco a t some p oin t., and i f there are brothers reading RFV in Hawaii, I'd love to hear from you as well. I'm a non-smoker, and pretty fle x ib le when 7 don’t have school hanging over my head. I'm comfortable sleep ing floors, couches, etc. I ’m not yet sure of a l l travel dates, or even a l l destinations, but i f you’ve the room in your home and heart, please write. A phone number would be great ly appreciated. I hope to see you this summer. Peace. Ted Bohn PO Box 1008 Brookdale Station Bloomfield, WJ 07053

Dear RFV b r o t h e r s ,

I would tike, to (jind a b ro th er com panion on s p i r i t u a l l e v e l s mho i s a truly ma.6cu.Zinc 6 0 uZ. I t i k e org an ic gardening, Russian c lo 6 6 ic a t mu6ic, and w idespread r e a d ing. 1 have no am bition s w hatever, don't ouin a TV and want very l i t t l e l(rom th e woAid. 1 have t r a v e ll e d a lo t and have many inteA eAting ^AiendA. My AeZigion iA a s y n th esis o (J s p i r i t u alism, Vedanta, Red. Indian, A lic e B ailey and H.P. B lav atsky . 1 b e lie v e in Ugh moral AtandaAdA and s p i r i t u a l it y iA much moAe im portant to me than m a teria lity . I would l i k e to meet bAotheAA fiAom a ft walkA o |$ H i e , and 1 en joy veAy much pen p a ts : maybe a hisherman fiAom Maine who wants a I ovca to shaAe h is cabin; oa a AancheA (5Aom Montana who wants some s p i r i t u a l com panionship; oa a lo g g er hAom t h e North woods who needs someone to ta k e h is b oots ohh when he. comes home hAom woAk and to Snuggle, hug and h o ld ; oa maybe a homesteader in A laska w ith a g n iz z ly beaAd and buAly body, wanting to be held and ta lk e d to during th e w hite snowy n ig h ts; oa a b ig g e A -th a n -liie Texas AancheA, tAuckeA, weJZdeA, uiiatevea . I want (l i k e a tAue iaiAy] to be paAt o i MAN, doing my unambi tiou s thin g, lo v in g , being th e r e with a l o t 0(5 s i l e n t crah tin g o h oua so u ls. 1 am 36, 5 ’ &" w ith b lu e e y e s , l i g h t h a ir , v ery h e a lt h y , a n a tu r a l hoods cheh. I can e a s i l y d e l e t e m eat. I l i k e to garden and am s e lh " s u p p o r t in g . "o p h o to , no r e p ly ! (I can r e t u r n ) . One 0(5 mine w i l l be on th e way. I am su b m issiv e (Fa / p ; n o t G r /a ), C zeck / ’ nglish/D u tch/G erm an , v er y d e c e n t lo o k s and a m a s c u lin it y h^^xk. I l i k e b ik e s and b i k e r s and macho suxigger in my man! I am a b o o t Recife and lik e le a th e r a l o t . I can r e l o c a t e . May th e l i g h t oh t h e G r ea t S p i r i t dw ell in t h e h e a r t s oh a l l my t r u e b r o th e r s . (No phone c a l l s y e t p l e a s e ) . lorn Hudson HO W. 17th S t. * 4 -R Hew York, NV 10011 Hear b r o t h e r s , 1 am a 31 y e a r o ld gay m ale (S a g it a rtu s) lo o k in g hoa a s p e c i a l man to tpeud a l l o r p a r t oh my l i h e w ith . 1 T J ^ t a n sh a v en , 150 l b s . , T* ' 1 b lu e ey e s and c u r ly brown h a i r . „ ^ H e r m yselh 'ga y - i d e n t i h i e d ' n am p o l i t i c a l l y / r a d i c a l l y d is p o s e d . ! am a l s o a v e g e t a r ia n and a nonsm oker.

R ig h t now, 7 l i v e in New York C ity and am em ployed as a gA aphic a r t i s t . I have an e x c e l l e n t s e n s e oh humon, am c o n s id e r e d u n s e l f i s h , and a m e d ia to r . I e n jo y sa ^ e s e x , and o t h e r th in g s moAe mundane such as mopping th e k i t chen (5l o o r , and p la y in g w ith my Ken d o l l s in t h e b a th tu b . I would l i k e Someday t o move t o t h e co u n try ( p o s s i b ly in t h e P a c i f i c N orthw est) and b e come in v o lv e d in aome foam oh none x p l o i t l v e b u sin e ss - - p erh ap s h e a lt h o A ien te d u)ork -- oa som ethin g t h a t i n v lo v e s making money in harmony w ith natuA e.

Farming Uncle MAGAZINE FOR HOMESTEADERS Cover in,-j: Gardening, Small Stock, Shelter, and much, much more. $12/1 yr; 122/2 yrs; $30/3 yrs Money Hack Guarantee! P. O. BOX 9 1 - E 8 LIBERTY. NEW YORK 1 2 7 5 4

R ig h t now, a A ela tio n sh ip w ith th e A ight man needs to become a pAioAity in my l i f i e . I th in k monogamy i s impoAtant to me, althou gh a s t a b l e r e l a t i o ns h ip i s A ea lly what I'm a h te r . I need to be w ith someone who i s not. ju s t coming ou t, wfio has some &onm ofi p o l i t i c a l / s p i r i t u a l co n sc io u sn e ss, who a ls o has a sen se of, humoA, and who wants Aomance and intim acy. My p reh eren ce i s hoa someone between the ages 0(5 2 5 and 35 w ith no h a c ia l h air and who i s v ery a h h ec tio n a te . P le a s e in c lu d e a p h o to it5 p o s s i b l e . I ux)uld c o n s id e r r e l o c a t i n g hofl th e r i g h t p er so n o r having th e r i g h t p er so n l i v e w ith me ho A a n o th e r y ea r or two be ho r e s e t t i n g o u t ho A t h e c o u n try .

Mark O'Connor 31 Sterling Place Brooklyn, NV 11217

I'm on a manhunt. Somewhere, in the US oh A i s my m a t e ...a n d I hope t o God (d e s s ) he r e a d s RFV! E njoy b ein g a lo n e , though p r e f e r havin g a h rien d S l o v e r - - r e a d i n g (gay l i t . 6 s p i r i t u a l i t y ) , d i s c o s (would lik e , t o l e a r n sq u a re d a n c in g ), a l l t y p e oh music, (e s p . co u n tr y / w ester n and c l a s s i c a l ) , t h e a t r e , q u i e t d in n e r s , lo n g w alks in th e e a r l y morning o r ev en in g , and th e co u n try . R e c e n tly ( r e ) d is c o v e r e d my s p i r i t u a l n e e d s —r a i s e d P r e s b y te r ia n , 1 now am pagan . I'm a d o w n -to -e a r th type guy. L ik e t o p a r t y w ith a /ew w e.llch o sen h r te n d s , smoke v e r y t i t t l e , ( r e a l t y ) , d r in k o c c a s io n a t t y . Enjoy m ansex: c u d d ly t o " h ot 6 sw ea t i f to l i g h t S/M.

\ \ 7 NORTHERN LAMBDA NORD V I CP/POB 990 r r

CARIBOU. MAINE 04736 ORA

j GAYMFN K TFSBTANS, NOP"VV’A' MAINE H NEW BRUNSWICK. SO C IA L G ATHERIN GS, LENDING LIB R A R Y , MUTUAL SUPPORT IN T H IS FUPAT R EG IO N . MEMBERSHIP - $ 1 3 PER YEAR; NEWS U T T E R - $ 1 0 Y E A P IY . 2 0 7 / 8 9 6 - r B & 8 , WED. 7 - 9 PM.

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HI, I am a 24-y ea s o ld GWM cuAAentl.y

if in ish in g my l a s t sem ester of, c o l le g e .

The m ajos p en t o f t h e summer Mitt, be t h e b u ild in g o f a s m a ll barn . T his w i l t o f f e s an e x c e l l e n t o p p os t u n it y j\oa an a p p A en tice t o le a r n some caApentAij s k i l l s . I hope to have t h e baAn e n c lo s e d f o s t h e F a ll g a th e r in g LaboA Vay.

An acad em ic s c i e n t i s t , an I n t e l l e c t u a l , an a v id c o o k and a s lo p p y h ou sekeep es

I m itt be a b l e to o f f e r an appAen t i c e Aoom, ample board, lo th o f fs e s h alA and my knowledge o f th e above m entioned s k i l l s . I f you th in k you might be I n t e r e s t e d , p le a s e c o n ta c t BAyan a t :

D elig h ted a ls o by young, open and a c c e p ta n t minds which c h a llen g e me to S tay young In my own thoughts

B lu e Heson Fasm R oute 1, Box 144 V eK alb, New Vosk 13630

A n o v ic e e x p l o s e s o f Buddhism, S h ia ts u , volu ntaA y s i m p l i c i t y

I want to ta k e a bAeak fsom th e Straight woAid i t anting th e summer oa f a l l o f t h i s yeaA. I am lo ok in g foA a AuAal gay farm oa cormune whose l i f e (woAk and ^un) I could shone fon abou t one yean.

I have l i v e d communally b efo n e, and 1 waA n a ls ed on a fanm u n til th e age o f 17. I adapt to new places and new people e a s i l y . I to y to have a n ea tly h ea lth y and p o s i t iv e a t t it u d e towards l i f e and I s e e k th e company o f good, mum, and o p tim is tic p eo p le. P le a s e w rite to me soon i f you th in k y o u 'v e got what I am look in g fon.

A so m a n tic mush, co m p a ss io n a te and l o y a l f s i e n d , g en esou s t o a f a u l t

A s tu d e n t o f P e s t s , Ma slo w , S o r o k in , Shum akes, and e s p e c i a l l y 6u s c a g l l a T his i s an In c o m p le te and p s o b a b ly n o t t e A s i b l y I n fo s m a t lv e p r o f i l e o f me, S e b a s t ia n . I ’ m s e e k in g a s e x p a r t n e r , w o sk -ou t p a s t n e s , c o -a d v e n tu A es, f s i e n d and boon com panion, sa n c tu a r y and l i b e s a t o s . In tesested ? P le a s e w s it e

H ello casin g guys, Are you lo o k in g f o s t h a t ’ s p e c i a l ' som eone OR j u s t w anting to m eet som e good new CARING fs le n d s ? WILL, so do I! So th e n go a h ea d -- d so p t h i s s l n c e s e and c a s in g guy a l i n e to d a y ! I am t h a t guy, my f s i e n d .

S e b a s t ia n Box 760 C la r io n , P en n sy lv an ia 16214

I'm a GWM, g o o d lo o k in g and younglo o k in g a t 28. I sta n d 5 ' 11", bsown h o l s / e y e s , m u stach e, s le n d e r - t y p e Smooth body, and w eigh 158 pounds.

P lu tip p e Roques

22 Arthur S t.

Binghamton, NV 13905

H e llo , I'm Aeefcoig a fn ie n d on Pen Pal in Mew d a m p sh ire. I would l i k e to m eet o s c o r r e s p o n d w ith som eone l i k e m y s e lf fo n f r i e n d s h i p .

1 lov e Mew dampshine and s in c e I no lonaen l i v e these i t would be g r e a t to have a gay fAlend theAe. I do on o c c a s io n retu rn in th e summeA months (I lo v e th e ocean--dam pton B each I. dcA e's a qu ick Aundown on m y s e lf.

E x c ite d , d e l i g h t e d , f a s c in a t e d , a e s t h e t i c a l l y c a p t iv a t e d by young, sm ooth m u scu las b o d ie s

tuu6 boAn in Northenn Mew Vonk, I'm 27, slim to av en a g e b u ild , dank ha in and e y e s , and s t r a i g h t a c t in g . I e n jo y swimming, Aunbaffung, b ik in g , camping, cookin g , h ikin g , a l t k in d s 0(5 good music and m ovies. Mo dnugs. L e t's hean. fnom you,

I e n jo y m eetin g new p e o p l e and w s lt In g . I'm h o n e s t, v e s y f s i e n d l y , and a ffe c tio n a te . I am s t s a i g h t - a c t i n g and a p p e a s in g , and I'm n o t In to d ru g s, a l c o h o l , o s sm oke. I'm v es y se m a n tic and I l o v e to c u d d le , h o ld , to u c h , and k i s s a l l n i t e lo n g ! I ' v e many i n t e r e s t s fAom m usic t o g e t t i n g o u t do o as and ta k in g lon g w alks In t h e co u n tsy . Guys ageA 18 t o 30 y ea ss w r it e me and I ’l l l o o k fosw a sd to h ea sin g fsom VOU! Send me youA p h o to , t o o , and when I answ es I ' l l sen d you a ' s m i l ing s h o t' o f me. PLFASE w s s te me s e a l so o n . Ken Vosk PO Box 8457 P itts b u r g h , PA

15220

fn ie n d s . Guy P .0 . Sox 1065 South Glen F a l l s , Mew Yonk 12801

Dean Falen ds,

I am look in g fon an ap p ren tice/h a n d fon the SummeA 1985. 1 w ill be tendlnq my usual sound o f anim als - - c h ic k e n s , tu rk ey s, hon eybees, sh eep and h e i f e s s - - s o th e s e w ill be ample opportu n ity to leaAn some Audiments o f animat husbandAy. I w ill a ls o be r a is in g a laAge gasden and pu ttin g by food fo s th e w in ter.

I a m ... A caoss betw een Fa Io a Tuck, a heavy w e ig h t l i f t e A and a sn u g g ly , cu d d ly ted d y b e a r w ith b ea sd and body h o ls , m u scles and a s p a s e t l s e [to be d e fla te d soon ) In to m i g h t t r a in in g , m assage, m u sic, p o sn o , p h o to g sa p h y

^eaA Arizona/N ew M exico F s le n d s , I ’ l l b e sp en d in g two months m s kin g In P'zoenlx t h i s S psln g (p s o b a b ly March ■to Ma y ) . I am lo o k in g forw a rd t o s e e in g what l i f e i s l i k e o u t h e s e and, on w eekends and a t t h e end o f c o n s u l t in g , t o e x p lo s ln g t h e n a tu r a l w ondess o f A slzon a and New M exico, p o s s i b l y In c lu d in g so u th e sn 'Itah and Southenn C a li f o r n i a (San D ie g o ). I ’ d e n jo y m eetin g som e f s l e n d s o u t h e s e , w ith whom I c o u ld s h a s e e x p lo s ln g t h e wondess o f t h i s s e g lo n .

I am an a v id outdoossman, In t e s e s t e d in h ik in g , cso ss-co u n tsy s k iin g , w hitewateA A a ftln g , can oein g, backpacking, b ic y c le -p a c k in g , e t c . , as a means to e x p lo r e and a p p r e c ia te th e wondeAS o f Nature. (T h ese i n t e r e s t s le d me to found a n o n -p r o fi* w ild e rn es s/ outdooss pAogAam foA Washington DP's Gay com munity 6 yeass a g o .) I l>ook foswasd to sampling th e l o c a l c u is in e . T heatse and film a s e among my m ajor I n t e s e s t s . I l o o k fosw asd t o making c o n t a c t w ith f e l l o w f a e r i e s p l s l t s and f a e s i e c ls c le s . I'm 36 goin g on 31. A lthough I ' l l be doin g com pu tes c o n s u ltin g Locrk, my m ajo s p r o f e s s io n a l , I n t e r e s t i s t r a d in g f i n a n c i a l m a rk et.

E x p lo rin g t h e I d e a s o f lo v e and com m unity- -on b o th I n t e l l e c t u a l and o p e s a tio n a l le v e ls

I f you s h a s e I n t e r e s t s and you ’ d l i k e to m eet a n i c e guy, p l e a s e c o n t a c t me. I ’ d a p p s e c l a t e s h a r in g some fs le n d s h ip .

Old enough to know b e t t e s (37} bu t young enough to s t i l t want t o

Worsen/Idas king ton DC c / o RFV

Vean Bao t h e n s , Tm a s le n d e n man, 44, S’ 7 - 1 /2 ” , 134, bnown h a in and gneen e y e s . I am t o l d I l o o k youngen th a n I am and p o s s e s s c h i l d l i k e q u a l i t i e s , and I am not hainy e x c e p t on my c h e s t . I'm c a l l e d Imndsome bu t con sideA m y sel{ a v en a g e. I am 15 months new to RFV li v in g , but

A big howdy to alt. RFVeAS: I'm a new su b scn ib eA to RFV. Guess I'v e been lo o k in g { oa you -a.ll { oa

yeaAS.

But heAe I am now.

I have, ac.quin.ed q u it e a b i t o{ in{oA mation pen tain in g t o countAy liv in g duAing t h e p a s t {ew yeans {Aom a l o t o { otheA jouA nals. So, I would l i k e to i>haAe i t w ith my bnothens and s i s tens out theA e. I { you have any qu estion s, p le a s e w n ite. 1 am a ls o lo o k in g {on a h elp eA (s ) oa paAtM Ai*). I l i v e on a m a i l {aAm ou tride o { V a lia s, West V inginia. 1 have my own house and baAn away {Aom my panents’ p la c e . I don’ t have e l e c tn xcity oa modeAn con ven ien ces on my place. I h e a t w ith wood, u se pAopane { oa cooking and keA osene l i g h t s . I have a { ew g oats and A abbits and e a t the suAplus meat.

(t'e use pony teams { oa hauling wood, hay, and manuAe plus otheA chon es. 'Jle only have 40 acAes o { h i l l y lan d. Although a sm a ll p la c e , theAe i s plenty to do aAound heAe and not ju s t alt. woAk. Valias i s abou t 20 m iles {Aom W heeling, 50 mil.es {Aom PittsbuAgh and ju s t 7 miles o { { th e In teA S tate 10. I { you M.e going to be in t h is aAea oa p a s s ing thAough, p le a s e dAop a l i n e i { you would l i k e to s t o p in { oa a v is it . This is not a come on { oa sex u a l paAtneAs; ju s t a {n ien d ly guy lo o k in g { oa a few good {A iends. I'm 37, 6'2",

160 l b s . w ith long bnow-

i s h - blond haiA, beaAd and mustache

and g la s s e s . 1 d on 't have any photos to send out, so don’ t a s k . I'm not bad look in g , but not pA eity eith eA . I don't do dAugs oa smoke. I lik e to Aead [when I have tim e ) and c o l l e d old {ashion ed th in g s. I b e l ie v e in ch en u cal-{aee {anming and liv in g and am not in to th e big money game.

I nave liv e d in th e c i t i e s and have R a v eled acAoss t h e U.S. a {ew tim es. Right now, I am not a b le t o tA avel as l once did- I have vanious in t e n e s ts Too numeAous to mention heAe now. I b eicev e I have a t l e a s t 35 moAe yeans on th is ea a th in t h is body, and would l i k e to 6e a b l e to shon e some °a th is tim e w ith othens o { th e same S p ecies, { e e lin g s , thou ghts, e t c . m heAe; whene on e you? Come by { oa a v<& it oa to wonk a w h ile . P o s s ib ly we can 4 ta n t an e x te n d e d {a m ity commune. hove and p e a c e to a l l ,

dim Whipkey RP 1 Box 60-3

K ailas, WV 26036

{ e e l my h e a d has always been theAe. 1 was a m usician {on a long tim e and hean music hene, be i t sin gin g o { bin ds, song o { th e wind in th e oaks, OA muAmuA o { t h e mountain stneam t h a t nuns thnough my p n o p en ty --it wanms my h e a d in a way no c i t y sound even cou ld . I t i s my natune to want to keep knowing abou t new th in g s as long as I am on t h is p la n e t.

I am in te n e s te d in a l l ty p es o { music, au d io, v id eo , s c ie n c e { i c t i o n and {an tasy u n itin g , and am acquining in t e n e s ts hene -in h ikin g , can oein g, gAowing {loweAS, and {u d h eA tuning m ysel{ in to th e land and natuAe in geneA al. I am thoAoughly m asculine but a gen t l e so u l and do n ot c o n sc io u sly hanm otheA l i v e s oa tAy to ca ll, th e sh o ts { oa anyone but m y sel{. I am lo v in g , ca sin g , wasm-{lowing undeA a some times seeming c o o l s u s {a c e , a l i t t l e scaAed and lo n e ly beneath a seem in gly 'togetheA ' ex tesio A . I'm woAking veAy hand a t s e l { - a e u liz a t io n .

I'm q u ite ex p n essiv e and w ith sh osin g my { e e lin g s , w ith an in t e n s i t y othens to a c c e p t, and I tune in and/oA b e a u t i{u l th in g s.

geneAous sometimes {in d hand to unique

7 would l i k e to meet a bnotheA. to shooie w ith me in a monogamous n e la tio n s h ip wheAe t h e so u l and mind aA.e shaAed e q u a lly w ith th e body. A genuine penson who does not p A actice th e pA evalent " sin ceA ity th e mo ment." endemic o { o u a tim es, but who i s sin ceA e, lo v in g , ca sin g , and kin d. My c o n s c io u s mind t e l l s me t h a t t h i s b n o th e s sh o u ld be s e x y , s l e n d e s , n ot to o t a l l , in p h y s i c a l l y good sn a p e , c le a n -s h a v e n oa w ith a m ou sta ch e, and t h a t h e s h o u ld be. q u i t e young. My u n co n scio u s mind t e l l s me t h a t t h i s may n o t n e c e s s a r i l y be s o , and t h a t I sh o u ld s t a y open t o t h e e x c e p t io n t h a t becom es t h e s a l e . B oth minds t e l l me t h a t he sh ou ld be n a tu sa l and n o t depend on liquoA oa

dAugs, but ex p e sie n ce natuAal h ighs. He shou ld be in no p u ssu it t h a t i s

damaging to th e human s p i s i t oA th e e a s th , noA hasboA pA econceived id e a s abou t how th in g s w i l l be. He shou ld be {a isl.y n ela x ed , and he sh ou ld be in {avoA o{ a monogamous A ela tio n s h ip . We slw u ld sh ase i n t e s e s t in and A espect { oa each otheA, but. nuAtuAe in d iv id u a lit y and a llo w moAe gAowth in ouA A ela tio n sh ip than minaoa images cou ld pAovide. P le a s e send a photogAaph and any in

carn ation you caAe to shaAe, s p e a k ing {Aom youA mind and {Aom youA h eaA t’.

ThougT open t o o th eA s, I am e s p e c i a l l y a t tA a c t e d to guys w ith th e { a ll o w in g e t h n ic backgAOunds, { u l l on p a s t : I t a l i a n , S p a n ish , Am erican In d ia n , P o ly n e sia n , P o lis h , I r i s h . 7 d o n 't pAe{eA b lo n d s, bu t l i k e daAk haiA and e y e s .

SinceA ely,

I am a GUM in Southw esteAn V iA ginia. I l i v e in a sm a ll auaoI a rea and c o n t a c t s aAe hard to make. 1 am

veAy lo n e ly as 1 do not have anyone. I ' d pre{eA someone l o c a l , but I' d welcome l e f t ess {rom anyone. I cm h on est, d iscA eet, casin g and sin ceA e. I would lo v e to near {Aom anyone. T huly, I'd lo v e to hear {Aom someone c l o s e . Hope to heaA, L. P. P.O.Box 1416 HonakeA, V iA ginia 24260

NORTH CAROLINA: DISCOVER The News & Entertainment Paper for N.C.'s Gay Community

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RaleKjh.

^ Uncover Virginia I ^ Read Our Outn Community Press.

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Mail to: Our Own, Inc., 739 Vermouth St., Norfolk. VA 23510

Dear Men o f t h e RFD:

----- CONTACT L'frr^K S------

I have g r e a t r e s p e c t fo r th e c a l i ber o f men who w r it e in t o RFD. I h a v e n o t been a farm t a d bu t am alw ays i n t e r e s t e d i n t a lk in g w ith t h o s e in t h e r u r a l d i s t r i c t s . What d o es i n t e r e s t me g r e a t l y i s con t a c t in g younger guys who e n jo y t h e company and e x p e r ie n c e o f o l d e r men! I n t e r e s t s : c r e a t i v e w r it in g , dram a, b a s k e t b a l l , money, s e x , t r a v e l i n g , F lo r id a and Hew England, gourm et c o o k in g , c u lt u r a l l iv i n g . Photo would be a p p r e c la t.e d . I s h a l l answ er a l l . John 3630 N.W. 34th T e r r a c e L a u d erd a le L a k es, F lo r id a 33309

VnaA P io n e e r s : 1 am m a s c u lin e , 42, 5 '-11 1/2 " , 1551b, blu c e y e s , Frown h a i r , and m ou stach e. ! am moving t o Tie b e a u t i f u l , p i c t u r esqu e m ountains oft W estern N orth Car o lin a . The axe a rem inds me o f th e Bw iss \t*A but t h e i d e a n d o n a t e of, ; nex *Aemc w in te r s and c o o 1' AummeA n ; ghtA mate l * a "C am e'ot". 7 p pan f o buii a t'onu-tea^ n e a r A s ' e v V e , a Amatp 'u * c o s m o p o lita n c i * y . I have beam s f o r 'Gourmet de "a C h a le t ’....' L i t t l e French- A l p s ' . . . . id e a s for u n iqu e farm ing e n t e r p r i s e s th a t I ' v e 6 t a r t e d to e x e a t e a to n e t h i s s p r in g . d om v tA , I ’ d l o v e f o s h a r e my homes l e a d e r , en tAepAene.uA, pion ecA l i f e s t y l e w ith a ' s p e c i a l guy' i n a lov in g r e l a t i o n s (Up. The n ea rb y c i t y o f f e r s a l t e r n a t i v e , t i v e r s i f i e d j o b o p p ortu n i* ie s . B e s id e s the outdooAA, an im ats and g a r d en in g , some o f my otheA in d e x e s t s a r e t h e a t r e , "roadway sh o rn , o p e r a , t i g h t c l a s s i c a l m u sic, c o o lin g (g o u rm et), and t r a v e l [my p h o to with Muscovy d u cts m s taken in A u s t r ia ) .

7 am a 32 y e a r o ld W M . I am a t t r a c t i v e , lo v in g , c r e a t i v e , and I n t e l llg e n t. I want t o s h a r e my l i f e and i n t e r e s t s w ith o t h e r s . I am a c h i r o p r a c t o r but am p r e s e n t l y d i s t r i b u t in g h e r b a l n u t r i t io n p ro d u c ts f o r en erg y , sta m in a , w e ig h t c o n t r o l , a "natural, h ig h ," e t c . I am i n t e r e s t e d in t h e o u td o o r s , swimming, p h o to g ra p h y , la n d s c a p e g a rd en in g , h i s t o r i c (p l a n t a t i o n ) a r c h i t e c t u r e , g iv in g and g e t t i n g s e n s u a l mas s a g e s , h elp in g o t h e r s r e a c h f u l l p o te n tia l. I am 5' I T , w eigh 145 l b s , have brown h a ir and g r e e n e y e s . I am e a g e r to m eet m a s c u lin e , c a r in g men i n t e r e s t e d i n f r i e n d s h i p , im provin g t h e i r h e a l t h a n d /o r f i n a n c i a l in com e. Many men r e p o r t f e e l i n g y ea rs younger on our 100% n a tu r a l p r o d u c ts . My v i s i o n i s a w orld in w hich p e r f e c t h e a l t h and n u t r it io n and lo v in g r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e t h e norm. I f you s h a r e t h i s v i s i o n - w r it e so o n ! M ich a el A llen Box 242 M a r ie tta , G e o rg ia 30061

L ootin g fortoaxd *o h ea rin g ^ o m you ((<’<*h p l o t o , i f p o s s i b l e ) . nenni.s n, 0 , 1>ox AAfAs1e v i pffe , > r, n* * fy'.

I ’m i n t e r e s t e d in m eetin g o t h e r l o c a l gu ys. Photo i s a p p r e c i a t e d . 1 am a l s o i n t e r e s t e d in sw apping gay v id e o ta p e m ovies, VMS o r B eta , p lu s am ateur homemade v i d e o . Send a l i s t o f ta p e s you have tra d e. 1 p r e f e r 2 hour, SP, m . Henry R obertson 98 P e a c h t r e e Place Warner R o b in s, GA 51093

I t would b e g r e a t i f 7 c o u ld c o n n e c t w ith som eone b e f o r e summer's end; th en we co u ld d e c i d e t o g e t h e r e x a c t l y what k in d o f h o u se h o ld /h o m este a d we want to b u i ld . P le a s e , t h in k t h i s o v e r , and i f you t h in k you f i t in t o t h i s Aomehow, w r it e me a b o u t i t . I ’d a p p r e c ia te a few w ords, a way t o r e a c h you, and a p h o to , i f I t m a tte r s t o you. A ll c o r re s p o n d e n c e w i l l be answ ered p ro n to ! Jo y ,

7 know t h e r e must be som e gay men in r u r a l m id d l e / e a s t T en n essee som ew here. I'm a t r a n s p la n t e d C hi cagoan w hose r o o t s a r e h e r e in Tenn. 7 l i v e on a farm a t t h e n o rth e rn end o f t h e Cumberland P la te a u , have been h e r e f o r 9 months and h a v e n o t m et a g ay man ( o u t s i d e o f K n o x v ltle ) s i n c e I ' v e been h e r e . I'm a GWM, a g e 29, 5'10", 150 l b s . , I t . b ro w n /b lu e, n e a t l y trim m ed b e a r d /m o u sta c h e. 7 w ould d e s c r i b e m y self a s a p l e a s a n t lo o k in g man-n o t e x tr e m e ly handsom e, but th en n o t t h e o p p o s it e e i t h e r .

1 am an RM liv i n g i n m id d le G e o r g ia , 34 n ears o l d , 5'11", 157 t b s . , w ith b lu e e y e s , d a rk h a ir and m ou sta ch e. 1 e n jo y r e a d in g , m o v ies , b i c y c l i n g , v e r s a t i l e s e x , sh in n y d ip p in g , and q u i e t g e t - to g e t h e as .

I s e e k som eone t o j o i n me In my t r e k , and I f i t l a s t s a l i f e t i m e , t h a t ' s fin e , to o . I am 27, have sa n d y -b lo n d h a i r , m ou stach e, c le a n cu t, h e a l t h m inded, and I do n o t sm oke, do n o t l i k e t h e zoo s c e n e o f t h e b a r s , and d r in k o n ly when c e l e l r a t i n g s p e c i a l o c c a s io n s . I tu n e In t o a l l t h e a r t s , an ythin g ' n a t u r a l' , a n im a ls ( p a r t i c u la r l y s m a ll p u p p ies and big h o r s e s ) , and I do a h e f t y amount o f t r a v e l l i n g ea c h sp r in g and summer. Some p a r t i c u l a r l y f a v o r i t e th in g s o f m in e: humor, s i l l i n e s s , m ovies un der two hours l e n g t h , "I Love Lucy", " F lip p e r " , anyt l l n g t h a t can b e c o o k e d on an open f i r e and e n jo y e d un der t h e s t a r s , and l a s t but n o t l e a s t , lo v in g a guy and g e t t in g i t b a ck i n r e tu r n .

Dear RFD R ea d er s: I f e e l I have k n o m a l l of you, even i t we o n ly m eet fo u r tim e s a y ea r in t h e p a g es o f RFD. I c u r r e n t l y work and l i v e i n a medium s i z e d c i t y , bu t i t s w a lls a r e c lo s in g in on me! A ft e r my p r e s e n t c o n t r a c t ends on May 31, I want to move to som ew here i n F l o r i d a , G e o r g ia , Alabama o r T en n essee; m ost l i k e l y in a A ural or s e m i- r u r a l s e t t i n g bu t n e a r enough to a b ig c i t y s o t h a t I (we?) can have t r u ly th e b e s t o f b o th w o r ld s .

7 w ould l i k e t o m eet o t h e r g ay men in r u r a l a r e a s in and around Mo r g a n /F o r t r e s s C o u n ties . I ’m a m u sician ( p i a n i s t ) , 7 l o v e to r e a d and 7 l i k e t o w ork and do th in g s o u td o o r s (in c lu d in g s e x ) . I'm l o n e l y f o r g ay com p an ion sh ip , and n o t s t r i c t l y s e x u a ll y s p e a k in g . I f you’ r e i n t e r e s t e d in g e t t in g a c q u a in t e d , d o n 't h e s i t a t e t o w r it e . I ’ m lo o k in g forw a rd t o h ea rin g from you. Ken C risp R.R. #7 Box 167-A S u n b rlg k t, T en n es see 37872

CONTACT LETTERS m , 34yr, 6 '1 " , 18Q\ brown h a ir , blue e y e s . H ob bies a r e : m ov ies, mu4^c, t r a v e l and o u t d o o r . I w ould t i k i to co rresp o n d and m eet o t h e r Gay m al.es. T.urt o$ Ohio c/o RFV

:u,

I am happy v jitk my " i f e . I have a good i p 0 a-nr' good f r i e n d s . The on e m issin g in g r e d ie n t +o an even h a p p ie r ? J.fe if,' a lo v e r who i s a l s o my b e s t f r i e n d , ju s, I am s e e k in g t h a t on e s p e c i a l man tv'y wants *o d e v e lo p and share. a com mitment with. me. Ves, 1 am a r o m a n t ic 1 I 'iave a l o t o f l o v e , 'varmth, and c a r ing t o g iv e t h e r i g h t man. J 35, 5'11", and 165. I have brown h a ir /e y e s , tr im h ea rd /m o u s ta c h e, and broad s h o u ld e r s . I c o n s id e r m y s e lf a s e n s i t i v e , A in c e r e , and honcAt p e r son. j Amoke c ig a r e t t e A and am a light, aod a l - d r i n k e r . 1 am m a s cu lin e and have a good AenAe o f humor. hj i n t e r e s t s v a ry . I e n jo y w atchin g iome A p e c ta to r AportA, p la y g o l f and bow?, l i k e n a tu r e, m o v ie i, muAic, TV, and q u i e t tim et, a t home w ith a man 7 can c a r e a b o u t. I a l s o l o v e an im als and own h a rn eA A -radn g h o r s e s . By laving d e f e r e n t in ter eA tA , two p e o p l e grow a a in d iv id u a ls and t o g e t h e r . 1 am s e e d in g a man younger th a n m y s e lf 'p refera b ly 18-30) who b e l i e v e s t h a t a re ationA hip iA n ot b a se d on Aex . M y 10" would be Alim and Amooth, but ookA a r e o f secon ^ ar-' im p o rta n ce; i-t'A w hat' a in A id e a man t h a t r e a l l y counts. foneA ty and com munication apo- t h e fo u n d a tio n o f any s u c c e s s fa l r e t a tio n A h ip .

u sin g rrom s in t h e ramA h a c k le but A padouA bu ildin gA (o v e r 13,000 Aquare f e e t 0 (J uA able l iv in g and iw rk sh o p A p a ce) and ak in n y -d ip p in g in t h e 18 x 30' abo v e-g ro u n d p o o l (w ith am a ll c ed a r d e c k ) . S e v e r a l o f them th o u g h t o f g e t t i n g t o g e t h e r to buy i t a s a gay r e t r e a t . I f a v ery A cclu ded, w e ll o f f t h e main r o a d . We bought i t to A t a r i a commune f o r t h a t reaA on - l i b e r a l , n u d ity . Mow I 'm w ondering w h eth er any o f you m ight l i k e to eon A id er i t f o r t h e Aame reaA on . I t co u ld even be fixed up t o run com m e r c ia ll y . There'A no zoning in F u lton County w here i t iA l o c a t e d . U n fo r tu n a tely , we w ere f o r c e d to pu t i t i n t h e hands o f an a g e n t, Thelma M ille r o f Main S t . , H ancock, MV 21750, phone (301) 678-5554. I t waA OAAeAAed a t o v e r $285,000, and w e'v e had i t on t h e m a rk et f o r $298,000 f o r Aix monthA, but w e'v e AlaAhed t h e p r i c e to $248,000 in hope o f a q u ic k A a le. We'd be w i l l in g t o o w n e r-fin a n c e and w ould ta k e $30,000 down. I f you'd l i k e m ore i n fo r m a tio n , w r ite me, o r c a l l (513) 767-9438; o r c o n t a c t t h e a g e n t d i r e c t ly . Al l beAt wiAhcA, Ju dson Jerom e 917 X enia Ave. Y ellow S p r in g s, OH 45387

GOJM, 26, Aoon t o be. w orking on a d o c t o r a t e in f o l k l o r e a t In dian a U n iv e r s ity , bu t c u r r e n t ly a t Ohio S t a t e U n iverA ity, 6'2", a Alim mtucul a r 165 l b s . , brown h a ir , eyeA, and m u stach e. B a s i c a l l y A eeking c o l l e g e e d u c a te d f r i e n d s / l o v e r (? ), i n t o o u t d o o r s , h ik in g /ca m p in g , b ird w a tch in g , g a rd en in g , muAic, c o n v e r s a t io n . I am c u r r e n t ly a c t i v e i n ColumbuA, Ohio and lo o k in g to e v e n t u a lly have a am a ll farm in t h e co u n tr y . I am a t t r a c t e d to Alim mouAtachcd men, m id-20 a t o m id-30 a . M atu rity , honzAty and in tr o A p e c tio n iA a pluA.

Take S p e c i a l C are, J z f f Lemert 41? S. A shburton Rd. ColumbuA, OH, 43213

^ear RF^ ReaderA ,

■e r e c e n t ly had to move to Ohio le. Pjg our "5- a c r e wood,land p r o p e r t y i i ' l?- mountaA.nA o f s o u th w e s t P ennA ylvania, , hours from w'a-sk in g to n -Z a ltim o r e , 3 -•'LOm P ittA bu rgh (n e a r H ancock, •aryland). Our numerouA g a y fr ie n d s y1 king ton (moAtly memberA o f t h e -oAt A ngels) l o v e d t o w eekend t h e r e ,

Bryan o f Ohio c / o RFC

We a r e a gay w h ile c o u p le lo o k in g fo r pen p a ts and f r i e n d s . We want o n ly h o n e s t and c a r in g p e o p l e from ageA ? to 35. We t i k e t o swim, f i s h , camp, d i r t b i k e , mud c a r t in g and l o t s m ore. We l i k e t o w alk and go to t h e co u n try . No nude p h o to s p l e a s e - - swimwear and b r i e f s , o k . Vour p h o to g e t s o u r s .

We want to s h a r e our j o y w ith o t h e r s t h a t n eed good f r i e n d s . Only tru e and h o n e s t sh o u ld ariswcr. We d o n 't d r in k , do d ru gs, b a th s o r b a r s . We a r e a hom e-type c o u p le . We w i l l answ er a l l l e t t e r s and hope to h ea r from you so o n . Vour lo v in g b r o t h e r s , S ou thern In d ia n a C ouple c / o RFV

H ello RFVers! I have been a r e a d e r and s u b s c r i b e r f o r som e tim e and though 7 know t h a t RFV i s b a s i c a l l y o r i e n t e d to r u r a l Am erica t h e r e a r e t h o s e o f us who l i v e in o r around a l a r g e c i t y due to our work o r c a r e e r . I cun f o r t u n a t e in t h a t 7 e n jo y a q u i e t , a lm o st r u r a l l i f e w h i l s t w orking fo r one o f the b ig t h r e e . 7 am in to a u d i o / e l e c t r o n i c s and music o f a l l typeA and am b a s i c a l l y a g a d g et hound. A bathroom w ith l i g h t s and muscc that, turn on as you toafk in and o f f as you pea v e . An a c r e o f g r e a t e a r th f o r g a rd en in g and l o t s a b ir d s and c r itte r s . My home i s s m a ll, f u l l o f m usic and l o v e , Fren ch co ok in g and p a s t r i e s , and c o m fo r t a b le l iv i n g , l i t e r a t u r e ., p o e t r y by Gil.bran and R in d er, books a b o u t A lexan der th e Gre.at. and bo o ks by Mary R en au lt, Frank H e r b e r t, B ron ow ski, M cC affrey , King R en es’ Book o f Love and m ore. I am a n on -sm oker, n ot in to any form o f drugs o r a l c o h o l though 7 do co o k w ith w in es and g r in d my own c o f f e e . 7 have, a w e ig h t problem but " h o ld my own" now a t arou n d 170 l b s . w h ite sta n d in g 5'10". 1 am o f F ren ch /In d ia n /W elsh p a r e n ta g e and a c t i v e in au dio communi c a t io n s v i a c a s s e t t e s . 7 w ear g l a s s e s , S p o r t a m ou stach e, am t o t a l l y m asu lin e, l i k e t o work i n my garden w hich m o s tly f e e d s t h e c r i t t e r s around h e r e . 7 e n jo y p e o p l e , am n ot in t o th e bar s c e n e th o u g h . 7 do e n jo y p a r t i e s and d a n cin g . 7 e n jo y my age w hich i s 54 and t h o s e in t h e same age g rou p . 7 have no a g e p r e f e r e n c e in p e o p le s in c e 7 e n jo y p e o p le o f a l l a g e s . 1 can be tu rn ed o f f by i n s i n c e r e p e o p l e o r t h o s e who i n s i s t on p la y in g mind games o r em otional, gam es. 7 lik e a l l t h o s e th in g s t h a t two p e o p le who e n jo y ea c h o t h e r l i k e t o do though I am n o t in t o p a in . I t a k e c a r e o f my s e l f and w ork o u t, t a k e a few fo o d su p p lim en ts and do n o t g e t to o in v o lv e d w ith t e l e v i s i o n . 7 am n e it h e r a m a ster nor a s e r v a n t, n e i t h e r wimp o r b u lly , do n o t buy and ca n n ot be bou ght. J am an i n d iv id u a l who i s S t i l l much a ro m a n tic .

(1) 1 am 32, brown h a ir and eyeA, s h o r t b e a r d , 5 ' l l " , 165 l b s .

I f anyone would l i k e t o swap some o x id e o r c o r r e s p o n d e n c e o r c o n v e r s a t io n , 7 can be r e a c h e d c / o RFP and w ill, answ er a l l w ith o r w ith o u t a s n a p - s h o t .

(2) Tam 27, blond-brow n h a i r , h a z e l e y e s , 6'1", 155 l b s .

Frank o f M ichigan c / o RFV

H ello t h e r e ! I'm a c i t y f e l lo w fo o t in g f o r co u n try fr ie n d s . I ’m 6'4" t a l t , w eigh 160 flu. and have brorn hcUr and ey e s . I woafc a s an a d m in is t r a t iv e a s s i s t a n t f o r an in su ra n ce company. My p e r s o n a l i n t e r e s t s in c lu d e g a rd eru n g , h e r b o lo g y , a s t r o l o g y , swimming and l e a t h e r s ex . Ii$ y o u 're i n t e r e s t e d in any 0 ($ the.se., o r h a v e o t h e r s u b j e c t s to ta(" a b o u t, why n o t u n ite ? I' d pl k e t o 'now more a b o u t bein g gay and in t h e co u n try . T iU t h e n . . .

Best wishes, A(ex K irby 765 17th S t .

Pes Moines, IA 50314

I am an i n t e l l i g e n t , s e r i o u s , humor o u s, in f e m e , moody, |$un, d i f f i c j u ?t , p a s s i o n a t e , s i n c e r e , str o n g , d e e p m eeting and h a r d -p fa y in g gay man, y e t v u ln e r a b le in my own ways; in d ep en d e n t y e t to n ed y . P o l i t i c a l l y p r o g r e s siv e. ‘'at in f o c h i c , sm a ll t a l k , or much em p tin ess o f t h e gay urban life style. M e ta p h y s ic a lly o r i e n t e d n o n -C h r is tia n , n e o -p a g a n , s c i e n ' i f i c hum anist. r c o l o g i c a l , Ju n g ia n , S ta p fe d o n , zen , yoga, A sian, y o g ic , m y th ic a l, e t c . i n f lu e n c e s , I s e e s e x u a l/m e n t a l/ pi f e / g ro w th / e x p l o r a t io n a r i s i n g from a comma n wep (sp A in g . H o b b ies, s k i l l s , j o y s : a w r i t e r , g a r d en in g , h e r b s , b u s in e s s , com m u n ication s, b i c y c l i n g , w a ter , m o to r c y c le s som eday, a l l th e a r t s from o ld to a v a n t, l i t e r a t u r e , f il m , 'an ce, fo o d , h id in g , " r a v e l, nudism, w o rk in g -o u t. Hi s t e a l : p la y d u lcim er to f o l k g u i t a r , p s y c h e d e l i c to synthesizeJ. H ea lth c o n s c io u s , 32, 5' l l " , 155, brown l a i r , masculine, in s ' a p e , tru e hedon i s t and s e n s u a l i s t , w e ll-h u n g , p i e r c in g s, s e x u a l l y u n i n h i b i t e d , bin by, v e r s a t i l e , in to cu d d lin g to l e a t h e r ' SSM to co sm ic e r o t i c e c s ta s y /^ o n Iu an -'i/pe i d e a s . Top, bottom , m utual; many s c e n e s . M oderated r e c r e a t i o n a l ’ S t u f f -'"’K, Long ran ge g o a d s: f l u i d income s o u r c e s , iw armer c lim a "e, liv i n g on a path of diverse and d i r e c t e d g row th , and a r e l a t i o n s k i p : S e ek in g a gay man 2550 or s o , n o n - je a lo u s , w ith c o m p a ti b l e i n t e r e s t s f o r good tim e s, s e x u a l and non. L e t's c r e a t e an urban o a s i s o r a s u r r u r a t hideaw ay, a mag ac home w here we can l i v e f u l l y as t e c h n o lo g i c a l p r i m it i v e s s y n t h e s i z in g , in

C ity ; °e.t him come.

b a la n c e , t h e b e s t o f te c h n o lo g y and n a tu r e, an a l t e r n a t i v e t o modern Am eri can ' k o y a a n l s q a t s i . ' [ l i f e out. o f b a l a n c e ) . Mutual g o a l : p a r t n e r s who push when we. a r e up, p u l l when we. a r e down, c h a lle n g e e a c h o t h e r t o b e ou r b est.

Y ours, M arlin Thonas P.o. "ox 6267 r h lc a g o , 1L, 636?0

Gay men and d y k es a l s o w elcom e f o r company, c o n t a c t , c o n v e r s a t io n . Write, fo r d e t a ils . Void w here i n h i b i t e d . ‘Jo c o l l e c t o r s o r JO s e e k e r s .

C onjou r,

L iv e tong and p r o s p e r ,

V i s l i k e s : S6M, d ru g s, G reek , In c o n s i d e r a t e p e o p l e , o n e -n ig h t s ta n d s . L i k e s : t r a v e l l i n g , c o o k in g , r e a d in g , k is s i n g , c u d d lin g , a f f e c t i o n , q u i e t ev e n in g s , h o n es ty , s i n c e r i t y in r e l a t i o n s h i p s , a l l t h e good s t u f f .

P a t r ic k Holand 2440 W. W alton 3-F C h icag o , 1L 60622

Dear HF*1 R ea d ers, I have a sm a ll farm in s o u t h e r I 11a .n o ls f o w hich I'm goin g t o move t h i s y ea r. I'm lo o k in g f o r th e r i g h t gay m ale to j o in me. [Maybe fwo o r t'zree guys would be even b e t t e r .) I aanf to <wrif e , ''o some g a rd en in g , and r a i s e some sm a ll l i v e s t o c k . I 'a v e been r e n tin g o u t t h e land and I w i l t p r o b a b ly co n tin u e to do t h a t - a t l e a s t f o r a w h ile .

I'm good lo o k in g , 6 '? " , 1 7 0 lb s, brown h a i r / e y e s , 4Q y ea rs o l J , good b u ild , h a ir y , and I don ’ * 'rin k [bu t I do sm oke). I'm hoping to f in d a guy who i s c l e a n , h o n e s t, s m a ll /s li m , and p r e f e r s f o be a bottom man.

1 m a jo red in fo o d management, p r e s e n t l y p u b lis h in g my f i r s t c o o k b o o k . Age is u n im portan t a s w e lt as c o c k s i z e — i t ' s t h e t e n d e r n e s s (TLC) p e r s o n a l i t y o f t h e guy I'm lo o k in g f o r . My l o v e r was k i l l e d a few y e a r s ago i n a p la n e c r a s h . I c a n ' t t a k e b ein g a lo n e in l i f e much l o n g e r . I n eed you, w h erev er you a r e . We can m eet and t a k e i t from t h e r e . I can r e l o c a t e . I'm 6 '1 ” , a b o u t 210 l b s . , brown h a ir / b e a r d , m u sta ch e. P le a s e sen d a p hoto i f you can. A ll w i l l be r e c t i f i e d . I'm 29, n o t i n t o any games. I need to s e t t l e down o n ce a g a in . What a b o u t you? R. R a id er 606 W. B arry S t . S u i t e 166 C h icag o, IL 60657

Among you RFt? r e a d e r s th e r e i s su ch a p e r s o n , I am s u r e , and I hope we can g et to g eth er. I f you're, i n t e r e s t e d , p l e a s e sen d a p h o to [ I f you can) and t e l l me a b o u t your s e l f . P est w is h e s ,

MASCULINITY FATHERING MILITARISM MEN ’S HEALTH M EN & VIOLENCE SPORTS POETRY

°on o f I l l i n o i s c/o RF”

ANTI-SEXIST politics MALE SEXUALITY GAY ISSUES FEMINIST ANALYSIS SPIRITUALITY

GAY/STRAIGHT INTERACTIONS ~ ANTI-SEXIST MEN S HISTORY e a r RFC, Ju s* tea ' mu f i r s t cop y o f your e x tr a o r d in a r y c o u n try bumpkin m agazin e, f i l l e d to th e brim w ith gay c o n s c io u s n e s s , b lu e flo w e r ro m an ticism , and Ame.rican d o w n - t o - e a r t h in e s s . Con g r a t u l a t io n s on a t r u ly u n iqu e pub lic a tio n . Would t h e r e be among your r e a d e r s on e h a ir y , h e a lt h y , and m uscular man, c a p a b le o f l o v e , who I s a s ex c i t i n g a s John A lex a n d er, or as m u scu lln e a s Cary W i'son , o r as b ea u t i f u l a s M.A. F s p e r a n to , or a s Am erican as Cob M eldonian a l l in RFV S prin g S4 , w'.xo’ d lik e , to m eet a c a r in g , i n t e l l i g e n t and handsome t’es^ German [5 '1 0 ” ,

"54, bn/hi, uncut)? I f so,

e t tv ■ r l * e t o t h e Windy

In te re s te d ? R e a d a ll a b o u t it in M .— a n a tio n w id e Jo u r n a l o f th e an ti- sex ist m en s m o ve m e n t.

Regular subscription $12 (4 issues) Semple copy of current issue $3 30

M 306 N. Brooks Madison. Wl 53715

gentle men for gender justice

The U n icorn P u b l i s h e d 8 t i m e s a y e a r on S a b b a t s s i n c e Yule 1977 fo r Pa ga ns and W i t c h e s e v e r y w h e r e . $ 1 0 / P OBo x 8 8 1 4 , Mi p s , NM 5 5 4 0 8

Vean RFV,

Hello,

I ' v e been o u t o i th e c l o s e t s i n c e a b o u t '17 to my p a r e n t s , e t c . I ’ v e alw ays been i n t o t h e i d e a o i a lt e n n a t i v e s , but som etim es t h e y ’ he a l i t t l e hand t o i-ind.

I am a 29 y e a n -o td , b l a c k , gay m ale, but. n ot o p e n ly gay, l iv in g in A u stin, T exas. I'm 5 ’ ]1 -5 /4 " t a l l , 165 t b s , c le a n , h o n es t, s i n c e r e , and lo v in g . My r e l i g i o u s o r i e n t a t i o n i s n a tu re b a se d and n eo-p a g an . I w ould l i k e t o m eet an o ld e n w h ite m ale inom 4 0 's and up, ion ca n in g , in t im a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p . Photo w orld be n ic e .

--- C O N T A C T LE T T E R S ---Tear RFV, '■'■'est enn dan sas mate., 26, 6'?." '85 would t i k e .to meeT a cow boy, r a n c h e r on. ,)<vuneA [25-45) tfoA c o r r e s p o n d e n c e ’ in s e n d s fu.p, and p o s s i b l e r e l a t i o n s h i p . 1 A ^J Z/ : n an a 3fLP^ l t u n a p one a , and ma ■ "v wefc* someone, in s i m i l a r c m cu m sta n ces. S m all Town p//e m// jeaA o< A 7PS, anr/ Tac^ o^ a p p r e c i a t io n t o r g a y U / e m g e n e r a l, hat, nnomn+ed me to fr it and m eet tom cone, th ro u g h S ka, m agazin e. Tf m n o t i n t o drugs Semi, on s/m . I i i n t e r e s t e d , p l e a s e c o n t a c t me c / o RFV. R.K. o i Kansas c /o RFP Hi Guys, H ere's too guys, been tog eth en th is May 8th ion 20 yeant>. We'ne lookin g ion sin cen e in ten d* on w hatever to

w rite, v i s i t , have a weekend to g eth en . you’re welcome to oun home a* you t r a v e l; do v i s i t w ith us but p le a s e w nite iih A t. We one th e at-hom e type. We do lo v e th e ou td oors, do body bu ildin g and yoga. We r a i s e , can and f r e e z e a l t oun own v e g e ta b le 6, some in u it. We butchen ponk, b e e i, and poultny -- oI ao naiAe a l l typeA o i ilow ens. We'ne aw aiting you countny and s m a ll town guys ; w e’d lo v e to s t a n t a in ien d sh ip. We do not cane ion bana , bathA, on p ot. We have no nace b a r r ie r s on age, n e lig io n -- juAt s e n s ib le guya th at <oant tnue in ten d a. We l o v e nude A u nbathing, s k in n y - d ip ping in t h e Aummentime. Come, plan a w eekend, v i s i t u a . W e 'll go b o a tIng, i l o a t i n g and a l t t h e Aummen iun. Would lo v e to sh o n e oun l o v e w ith you s i n g l e * on co u p pe s .

We'ne both countny guys, l i v e c lo s e to th e big c i t y , but i t ’ s n ot ion u*. We do want h o n e s t, s in c e n e , iu n -lo v in g 9a ifA ion l a s t in g in ie n d s h ip . Come on you guys, do w h ite . I ' l l b e t y o u ' ll e g la d you d id . We’ ve veny b r o a d minded. Any a d v ic e you m ig h t need on cn optan d, n o t a t i o n , n o is in g o i hogs, c h ic k e n , b e e i on i e n c e b u i l d in g , iahm Oh home c o n s t r u c t io n , plumb ing on w ining on g a r d e n in g . P le a s e t e l l ua youn p ro b lem , and w e’l l tn y to iigune i t o u t and w h ite you back <n hopes i t w i l t h e l p you.

Most, oi a ll to you couples out thene, tny a l i t t l e hand eh, speak a kind wond and touch with a loving hand, and H i e will be so much easien. Sincene Fniends, Ah t S Paul 10360 Concond S c h o o l Road s t . Louis County, MO 63128

The ’ Rainbow G a th en in g ’ w i l l b e in t h e M issou n i Ozanks t h i s summen. I a tte n d e d my iih A t G athening in ’ 83 in M ichigan on t h e uppen p e n in s u la . I'm lo o k in g ionwand to t h i s one a l o t , and I loould be ven y an x iou s to s e e som e o i my gay bn othen s t h e n e . Thene was a men’ s camp n e x t t o t h e M issouni Cowboy Mart i a n Fam ily Camp t h a t I s t a y e d a t in 1983. Anyone h ea d in g t h i s l o o k ion Vave i n M issouni '85 and m ention t h a t camp. T d n e a t l y e n jo y m eetin g you! Vave o i M issouni

We on e a g a in o iie n in g a pennon a p pa c e ion th e summen o i ’ 85. 1i you one in +enes+e.d in a p l a c e t o be in the. cou n tn y, le a r n some " i i t i e th in g s a b o u t g o a t s , c h ic k e n s , g a n d en in g , and g a t h e r in g s , we have t h a t h e r e . T here a r e r u s t i c q u a r t e r s , l i g h t c h o r e s to do, a ta k e t o swim i n , and p le n t y oi tim e ion your a r t on c n a i t p n o j e e t i i you do t h a t . We would p n e ie r t o have someone, t h a t i s w e lt a c q u a in te d w ith kirns e l i , n o t in t o dru gs on much a l c o h o l , and n ot a c i g a r e t t e sm o ker. I t would be. h e lp i u l i i t h a t man has a d e s i r e t o e v e n t u a l l y do ,vis own ianm th in g in th e O zanks, and c o u ld u se t h i s a s a homebase. t o e x p lo r e th e lan d p o s s i b i l i t i e s and p e o p pe . Vnop us a n o te and t e l l us a b o u t yours e l i , i n t e r e s t s , g o a l s . Hugs, Jim 8 J o s b P f 4 Rox 216 Oak G rov e,AR

'’2660

C..W. in A u stin , Texas c/o RF°

A t t r a c t i v e GW'!, 42, 6 ’ 5", 190, s c h o o l te a c h e r /ia n m e n /r a n c h e r . M ascu lin e, h o n es t, s in c e n e , n i c e , i n - t h e - c l o s e t . Loves o u td o o r s , cou n tn y m u sic, and c o u n try l iv i n g . Looking ion som eone my a g e on younger, a l s o s lim , t o come s h a r e i t w ith me. ve d i s c r e e t . Send t e t t e r and p i c t u r e . T pl resp o n d . Frank r . Minds Rt 5 ”ox 150 G o n z a les, TX, 78679

V is itin g A laska - Summer 1985: My in ten d and 1 w i l l be traveling to A la sk a . We would l i k e to netw ork and s t a y w ith bn othen s ( i t ’ s ch ea p en , t o o ! ) . We have n ot s e t an i t i n e r a r y y et. In tu rn , sh o u ld you w ish to v i s i t Los A ngeles (W est H o lly w o od ), you would be w elcom e. I i you can h e lp u s, p l e a s e io n ite. A laska-bou n d c /o RFV

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7 l i v e in a s m a ll town in the. M iss i s s i p p i Riven d e l t a o i n o r t h e a s t A l bans a , n o t ion inom Memphis. I was a ianmen ion e i g h t yeans and now b u ild and s e l l sm a lt e n e r g y - e i i i c i e n t homes.

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”ome o i my i n t e r e s t s ane t r a v e l , l i s ten in g To m usic [H a'len i s my p e r s o n a l p r o p h e t ' l , t h e stu d y o i m ythology, p rim a l c o n s c io u s n e s s , and Ju n g ian P sy ch o lo g y . Roon 7 hope to b u ild a p a s s i v e l y s o l a r / e a r t h - ' s h e l t e n e d home. S p i r i t u a l l y 7 c o u H d e s c r i b e m y s e li a s an o pd - i a s h io n e d tr a n s c e n d e n ta l H n ita r ia n . 7 am b o th i n t r o s p e c t i v e and g r e g a r io u s , and have a good s e n s e o i humor. I am 39 and e n jo y p e o p le o i a l t a g e s , bu t would e s p e c i a l l y l i k e t o m eet a younger man who wants a s p e c i a l in ten d w h ite on h is r o a d to in d ep e n d e n ce and i u l i i t t m e n t . Vonnie S u n n y*ide Farms Pox 533 M arion, AR, 72354

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Gen t i e.-Hen:

V e a h .. . i t ' & me a g a in ! An'! I ’m fr itte d w ith j o g due to th e v is i 1s ofr s e v e r a l RFV x ea d ex s who h e lp e d k eep m;j homefrixes Ixixning t h i s p a s t w in te r - thank gou froA sh a rin g gouA lo v e . Ag a in I Ao i l o u t mg ''Welcome’ mat to o t h e r b e a u tifru l m an /sou ls who mag be plan n in g a v i s i t to San F n an cisco so o n . No p r is o n e n s p l e a s e ( t h i s i s n o t a Hatfr Wag H ou se). In c a i e gou h a v e n 't 6 een mg p a s t RFV letteA A , I Ae.pe.at-- I'm 37, 6 ', ISO*1, dank h a ir , b e a r d , n i c e l o o k i n g , h r a lthg, s e n s u a l, afrfractionate., go o d na tu ned, honeAt, ApiA.itu.at - l ik e to p a in t , 'w rite, take p h o to s, m a n a g e , cook, make lo v e , p la g m ,.sic, d a n ce, hang o u t a f l e a ManbetA . TURN-OPS: T a ll men, he and A, liaiAg c h e s t s , w et' - hung, good k i s s e r s ,

"ong/ a tow A ession A , c u d d lin g . TURN-OFFS: VAugA, poppeAA, heavy b o o z e , SUM, l e a t h e x and gug& who " c a n 't spend th e n ig h t in a AtAange. b ed ." Ifr gou flu n k w ith gouA h e a r t in At cad ofr gouA head, gou'A e on the n ig h t path to mg h o u se. L et tea and photo would be n i c e . Thanks.

B le s s in g s ofr S pxin g, J o e Lembo PC Box 99444 San FAanciA c o , CA

Som euhere in t h i s A e a d e s s h iy *'■ex e must be a go ting, haxd w orking man a n x iou s t o fraxm th e "and bu* i s u n able to bug b is own o x op ex tg f o frul frill. h is dxeam. Hexe i s an u n d ev elo p ed fraxm ownex, se ek in g someone w ith s k i l l s and en cxgg t o x a is e o a t s , hag, a x t ic h o k e s , b r o c c o l i , g a x l i c , c a t t l e , C'ixistmas t r e e s ox w h a tev er h is im a g in a tio n s u g g e s ts . About 120 a c x e s ofr t h i s 325 a c x e s ofr x o ll i n g h i l l s and froxest a x e t i l l a b l e and c o u ld g i e l d good in come frox th e efrfroxt. The s e t t in g is m a g n ific e n t, a th ou san d freet a b o v e t h e P a eifric Ocean frogs and frive m ile s i n lan d in t h e sun b e l t . At t h e end ofr a d ea d -en d x o ad , t h e x e is p e a c e and s e x e n it g and p x iv a c g frox t h e frxeedom ofr frx c lic k in g in t h e nude. And g e t, o n lg an hoax to t h e n oxth axe t h e d e l i g h t s ofr San F x a n c is c o . The p o t e n t i a l i s enoxmous frox som eone a ttu n e d to s e l f r - x e s p o n s i b i l i t u , x e sou x cefru ln ess and s e l f r - x e l i a n c e . The man-made a d d it i o n s to th e en viron m en t in c lu d e a so ta x h o t tu b , swimming p o o l , g x een h o u se and sau n a. And, t h e ste w a rd ofr t h i s sa n ctu ax g i s s k i l l e d in a n n o ta tin g and m assage. He i s a 6 ’ 3", b lo n d , b eax d ed V iking w ith 45 g eaxs e x p e r ie n c e in t h e w oxld, and a lo v e r ofr sijmphong, o p e x a , b a l l e t , t h e a t e r , f a i n t i n g and s c u tp tu x e . He a-lso w anders a b o u t th e w oxld a t le n g t h a s a v a g ra n t V iking vagabond.

IDENTITY bx

A o . Of

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EDITOR / PUBLISHER Kentner Scott

CONTRIBUTORS Francis Barnard Larry E Brown Byron Fagis Madge Reinhardt

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Sterling Ramey

SUBSCRIPTION: 1984 $13.00 SAMPLE COPY: $3 SQ P O. Box 581. Kenilield.Ca 94914 0581 Telephone. (415) 485-1881 CopyriQhr 1984 No oo rtio n o f in is issue may be reproduced w ith o u t prior w ritte n consent of publisher M AILED IN A PLAIN ENVELOPE

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Ifr th e c a n d id a t e frox c o -s te w a r d and fraxmex ofr t h i s sa n ctu ax g would b e a c a n d id a te frox com p an ion sh ip a s w e ll , he (.vould b e tw ic e w elcom e. L et t h e a c q u a in ta n c e commence and p x o g x ess a s i t w i l l to th e congenial satis fraction ofr th e s e e k e x and so u g h t. P eace.

94109

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JVcvte • •Dcbafts far'^vcnio ■a n d mar'e> 9 / 6 Issues TOP

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l wAote the a n t ic e in the l a s t issu e ofr RFP !page 45) about s p i x i t u a t i t g and m astu ib ation . I have a t o t to sh a ie on th is s u b je c t , e A p ecia tlg x eg aid in g a t timed s t a t e s .

U-yS-A-

............... J

1 am lookin g frvA ex t hex a pen p a t oa someone. to v is i t . I am open to cos iespending bit t e t t e r OA tape about oua ex p ed ien ces ofr oua s e x u a lit y and 0

mas tuxba toon in p a x t ic u la x .

! am bisexual, 5'?", 140, oven 35, a t h l e t i c , m u sc u la i, and s e n s i t i v e . 7 w ould lo v e to h e a l frsom gap, h i , 01 s t ia ig h t men mg age 0 1 g o u n g es. Voui photo i s im p o s ta n t, an t T *’f send mine in x etu x n .

Ifr p o s s ib l e , p le a s e lea d mg a s f i c t e befroxe. answering mu >’e t t e x , I t w ill h elp gou know more abou t whese I'm coming frxom.

"Love is the on ly e v e i i god." Vave ofr CatifroA nia c / o RFP

enpencf'0'11 £ issues- The M Veax FAbends,

« neCCShct ,celebtau^ana

I am t r a v e l l i n g t o G x eece, E urope, ox M exico, and l would t i k e som eone to go w ith , ox id e a s on p l a c e s to s t a g / v is it. I am a fr a e r ie c o o k , m asseux, t e a c h e r , h o u s e k e e p e r , and a ax d en ex . I a l s o sp ea k fr e n c h and some S p a n ish and I t a l i a n . I le a v e th e 'J.S. in Maxch I ° l 5. Thomas 1315 Delaware, Santa Cxuz, CA (4iS| 426-509P

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--- C O N T A C T LT T T F R 5 ----

H ello Fetlow 3A.oth.eA6! 1 am in t e r e s t e d in n a tu r a l, homespun men to m eet as fr ien d s ok peAhap6, even, (God w ittin g !) t h a t s p e c ia l. '6omeone' w ith whom 1 can have a oneto -o n e r e la t io n s h ip . FKom my e a r lu ijeaA6, I have always enjoyed natuAe, and have an impoKtant h im hip and s p i r i t u a l i t y w it h ' it . PFV ha6 o f f e r e d me a g lim p se o f p eo p le who f e e l a6 7 do—in t h i s and in otheK resp ects. "if inteAeAt6 in c lu d e g rap h ic aKt, a rch itectu A e, h ik in g , Hatha yoga, p sy chology, and music. M u 6 ic in ter.es ts vaAij w id ely —7 fin d music anr'/o r sin g cng to he a g r e a t ca+ h arsis fo r th e em otions. rhjotj dancing and going out, hut am aito a d ev oted homebody who is n ’ t in to t h e hoA sce n e peA Ae.

I am a GWM, 35, in t e r e s t e d in making a move to r u r a l liv in g Aoon, and w el come a l l exchange o f ideaA from a l l areaA . 7 am undecided oa To what a re a to r e l o c a t e in . Mao, 7 am lo o k ing fo r a p o s s ib le l i v e - i n iv o rk /lea m A itu atlon . 7 en joy and am s e n s it iv e to r u r a l / s e l f A u ffic le n t liv in g but have no p r a c t ic a l ex p e r ie n c e . I'm modeAtly a b l e fi n a n c ia lly to make a homeAtead on my own, but 7 r e q u ir e knowledge and em otion al Aupport from a fr ie n d or p artn er to make i t happen.

blond, 190 Ib A ., m a A cu lin e/a th le tic . My intercAtA a r e in a r t , a r c h it e c t u r e , outdoorA and t r a v e l. I am a rea so n a b ly accom pliAhed p o t t e r and hope to make thiA an im portant p a r t o f my r u r a l exiA ten ce. Mao , I am an a v id 10-Apeed b ik e r in clu d in g long d is ta n c e tou rin g and hope to m eet Aome o f you In my tr a v e la . I am in t e r e s t e d in correspon din g with men/women o f a l l ages fo r fr ie n d s h ip an d/or p o t e n t ia l companion. Gary McCormack S34 BuAh S t. *204 San Fran clA co, CA

94108

7 am b a s i c a ll y a d ow n -to-earth , home spun peKAon, who iA lookin g fo r th e same in hiA ‘‘i f e s t y l e and company. I'm atAo open, honeAt, ca rin g , and a Aentlmental rom antic! 1 en joy I n t e l "ectua? converA ation, but am a l i o zany, im ag in ativ e and fu n -f ovin g.

MuAt have c le a n h a b it s , h ig h id e a lA , be q u i e t , d i A c r e t c , A eriouA , compat ca b l e , a d o e r and g i v e r , c le a n Ahiaven, A b o rt h a i r e d , A t ra lg h t a c t i n g , i n good h e a lt h , a v era g e w e ig h t, have a r e a l need to c a r e and to be c a re d f o r , Aome muAical t a l e n t , s e n s e o f humor, p ro u d , and w illin g to a h a re . Vouta t r u l y iA lik ew iA e.

7 would l i k e to hear from gayA in th e Sacramento/Gold countAy a r e a . Or, oa one w ri?er put i t , kin dred ApinltA

Wanted: GWM, 16-40, c a ttlem a n /ra n ch hand, A e l f r e l i a n t , l i v e l y , j a c k - o f a l l - t r a d e s , c a p a b le , w i l l i n g , re s p o n Albl-e. MuAt have Aome e x p e r i e n c e . A r e l a t i o n s h i p iA hoped f o r . An all.owa n ce I s p la n n ed . Much o f what iA i n th e above ad ap p lleA h e r e , to o .

Ranch *2 in C a li f o r n i a c / o RFV

Vear RFV rea d erA -

P atrick O'Leary °‘ 0. ’’ox 1262 Marina, CA, 93°33

I have a h e a r t d i s e a s e t h a t n eed s m e d ic a tio n e a c h day. My h e a lt h , is im proving ea ch day and com m unicating w ith you w i l t be a h e a lin g e x p e r ie n c e . ( Phone i s l i s t e d under Hewbold C r i t ten d en G o in ). Hot Vamn! C r it Goin PC Box 142 Honeydew, CA

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1985 Subscription $15.00 24 pages per issue 187 Caselli Avenue #A San Francisco, CA 94114 415-861-0847 David L. Giveans, Editor

Ranch *1 in C a li f o r n i a c / o RFV

e ls e w h e r e .

<ALl n ] you p ea ce and harmony. I f i M eres te d , p nea s e w r it e and in c lu d e ohoto i f you can.

C a l i f . W rite me a p o s t c a r d o r l e t t e r . F e e l f r e e to v i s i t , t h i s sp r in g and summer.

A Quarterly Forum For Nurturing Men Wanted: GWM, r e t i r e d o r w ith Aome i n come f o r pcAAonal uac n eed in g a p la c e to liv e , among l i k e - l i f e s t y l e . Room and board In th e co u n try in exch ange f o r c a re and h e lp w ith h o u seh o ld , yard, v e g eta b le, g a rd e n , Aome m ech a n ica l s k i l l . Vou may p u t t e r around in th e 6 hop w ith m o t o r c y c le s , tru ck A , farm and ga rd en tracto K A , chalnAawA, e t c . Vou name i t , you can do i t h e r e .

I'm dravn to men who a r e moACulljie and g e n t le , open and honeAt, resp o n s i b le , em pathetlc and com mitted to perAonal growth. The p h y s ic a l ch a r a c t e r is t ic s t h a t 7 am moAt a ttA a cted to are Alen d er-fram ed In b u ild , f a c i a l ■olr (mouAtache and beardA ), and gen u a l p a s s iv it y in bed.

I l i v e in a t r a i l e r w ith a camper alongside near t h e town o f Honeydew,

My phyA ical d eA crip tio n : 35, 6 ' 4",

Future in t e r e s t s in c lu d e an heAb g a rden, becoming moae in v o lv ed w ith my antwoKk, and learn in g to p la y th e piano. 1 l i v e on th e MonteAey PeninAuta, but would l i k e to e v e n tu a lly r e lo c a t e to th e Sacram ento/G old country aAca, where 1 can channel my eneAgiCA in to a home (aA oppoAed to a re n ta l) and become a cloA e part, o f the S ie r r a F oothillA which remind me Ao much oft my n a tiv e P ennsylvania.

I'm 29 ■/eaAA o ld , 5'11", 157lbA, with dr. brown h a ir , b t. eyeA, and hove a 7iouAtache and g o a te e . P eople Aay I ’m liandAome.

sa g e , j a z z , ro p e , ESP, c o lo r m agic, l i v i n g in th e c o u n try , a ex toy a , v e g e t a r i a n , muAic from t h e He.artA o f Space, anim al i n s t i n c t s o f a c x u a lit y , non-Amoker o f to b a cc o , c u d d lin g on c o ld nigh tA , s t a in glaAA a r t , Amoking h e r b s , .sharing d ee p p e rs o n a l e x p e r i e n c e s , e r o t i c a r t and p o e t r y , s u n s h in e , and en jo y in g b ein g a l i v e th ro ugh c e l e b r a tio n and r i t u a l s .

I f any o f th e fo llo w in g tu rn s you on, th en i t would be a p lea su re. to m eet you:

I-C h ln g , opeAa, a A tro lo g y , b lu e graAS muAic, sperlzin g w ith a n c e s t o r s , mas

A publication <cx those o! us who g el tu n e d on p v wrmr.g and receiving hot letters from hot men! Every m onth D ear Sir' brings you the largest co«ec iron o* personal c loss*?iea ods you ii e vet see >n one pub tc a tio n - plus c assrtiea ods tor new products, services orgonyotions. toys, books. wdeos iot>5 mode's, reoi estate mas seus .. you nam e it' And Dear Sr' nos a spec *a' section at choice hot fantasy correspondence a hot nude cer • <erfo*d and a erter contest And mote E.ery kind Ot m an advert,ses in Dear Sir' m ak ing this th© pest piece m tne world to look fex m ot spec a ! m an - ‘c/ the night tex th© week end. & forever Vou can get O sompse copy at Door Sih tor $2 50 (p c s -p o d , from, A;’em afe PuDnshrna 964 Ecsom, Street. San Erancisco. CA 94107 O r d e v for it o f your fa vo rite n ew ssta nd 1

L ik e a man who a p p r e c i a t e s good com p a n io n ; my p a r t i s to s e r v i c e him. P r e fe r a man who i s t a l l , e d u c a te d , wfw ivorks, and n eeds som eone to c o r e f o r h is hou se and y a rd , and do h is chores.

H i, I am a 25 y e a r - o f d B r a z ilia n gay guy and would l i k e t o c o r r e s p o n d w ith g r e e k - v e r s a t i 0e a n d /o r p a s s i v e w h ite c u te gu'/s betw een 18-14 y ea rs o f a g e. Some o f my h o b b ie s a r e ro m a n tic m usic, l i t e r a t u r e , s p o r t s in g e n e r a l , c o l l e c t in g stam ps and p o s t c a r d s , t r a v e l i n g , etc.

Vear RFV fa n s , 1 am a GWM age 30 lo o k in g f o r o t h e r s who s h a r e my i n t e r e s t s . I am a t t r a c t e d to i/oung men a p p ro a ch in g m a tu rity and h a v e str o n g f e e l i n g s f o r t h o s e growing th ro u g h t h e t e e n y e a r 6 . 1 would be i n t e r e s t e d in h ea rin g from o t h e r s who s h a r e t h i s d e s i r e and t h e s e f e e l i n g s f o r t h e ch an g es t h a t we a l t go th rou g h in d is c o v e r in g o u r s e l v e s during what, can b e a trying time for anti a d o l e s c e n t bu t even m ore f o r b o y s. My i n t e r e s t s in c lu d e computers and how th e y can be u s ed by gays to p r o m ote and p o s t e r b e n e f i t s t o th e com m un ity. I a l s o t i k e lon g w alks in the open meadows and t h e sound o f b ir d s and s m a ll a n im a ls as th e y l i v e t h e i r l i v e s in p e a c e f u l c o e x i s t a n c e . N ight and day d i f f e r e n c e s , uou say? T ru e. 1 am a Gemini and s u r r e a l i s t i c h l have two s i d e s t o e v e n i th o u g h t. L e t t e r s w i*h R eelin g and s h a rin g a r e w elcom e. Pon H a r r e ll

PO Sox 2061 San J o s e , CA

95109

Tin Tree P o t t e r y i s lo o k in g f o r art a p p r e n t ic e who w ants to f ea rn a tr a d e in a r u r a l p o t t e r y . We iw utd l i k e to h ea r ^aobi anyone i n t e r e s t e d in a worhie a r n in g -fr ie n d s h ip s it u a t io n . An o p p o r tu n iti/ to have hands on e x p e r ie n c e in the cera m ic t r a d e , w h ite en jo y in g a b e a u t i f u l r u r a l s e t t i n g . E x p e r ie n c e i s u n n e c e s s a r y ; room and b o a rd w i l l be p r o v id e d . W e're Ted, 26 and F red , 31. We o p e r a t e a p o t t e r y on a 33-acAe farm in the c o a s t a l ra n g e o f Oregon w hich i s knoion ^o* i t s r a i n . A lthough r e m o te, we have modeAn c o n v e n ie n c e s o f in d o o r plum bing, e l e c t r i c i t y , wood h e a t and c o o k s to v e in our new house and t h r e e shop b u i l d ings . P lease, w r it e f o r more in fo r m a tio n and a rra n g e a v i s i t . We. would a l s o t i k e to h ea r from o t h e r p o t t e r s . F ir T ree P o t t e r y Rt. 1 Box 628 T o le d o , OR 97391 S in g le gentleman, no h i p p ie o r o e a r d , seeking a place to live w ith an un attached man. No d r in k o r imohe, p r e t t y w e ll m annered and d r e s s e d , no t r o u b le , p l e a s e . A good coot, bafceA, l o v e g a rd en in g and yard w ork, a good w o rk er , and k e e p a c le a n h o u se . Looking <$0*1 a p l a c e on an acreage, a p l a c e t o e n jo y f r e s h a i r , put in a n i c e g a rd en , a l s o cann ed veg and f r u i t s . W ell o r g a n iz e d ; l i k e p la y in g c a r d s a t n ig h t.

I am w h ite , s h o r t , s lim (5’ 6" and 110 tbs), good l o o k in g and have d a rk brown h a ir , h a z e l e y e s , m ou sta ch e. Photo in f i r s t l e t t e r p l e a s e . T han ks. So many tim e s I've l o o k e d th ro u g h a copy o f RFV and w ondered what i t w ould be l i k e t o w r it e . With 1985 loom ing on t h e h o r iz o n , I must t a k e th e b u l l by t h e horn s and do j u s t th a t. My name i s Hank W illia m s [y e s , i t r e a l l y i s ) and I'm 36 w ith r e d d is h h a ir and h a z e l e y e s . I have a mou4ta c h e [d o n 't m ost o f us?) and my w e ig h t and h e ig h t a r e 180 l b . and 6 ’3", in t h a t o r d e r . My b u ild i s c l a s s i f i e d by t h e V ie t C en tre [w here I once v i s i t e d ) a s "s l i g h t " bu t i t ' s a n y o n e's g u ess a s t o w h eth er i t tu rn s you on o r o f f , A good way i s t o w r it e . I am a 1 3 -y ea r v e te r a n 0 |J te a c h in g ju n io r h ig h Fren ch h e r e i n C anada’ s o n ly o f f i c i a l l y b i - l i n g u a l p r o v in c e , w ith many ' s c a r s ' bu t a l s o much p e r s o n a l s a t i s f a c t i o n from t h a t p a r t i c u la r a g e group. W hile 1 a l s o s p e a k p a s s a b l e German and S p a n ish , my p r o u d e s t a c h ie v em en t so f a r i n t h e f i e l d o f lan g u a g e i s pass-tng t h e B r i t i s h "0" l e v e l exams in W elsh (who t h e H ell s p e a k s t h a t but Tom Jo n e s and HRH t h e P rin ce? And w hy?). V on't you b e l i e v e l i f e sh o u ld be as interesting as p o s s i b l e ? 1 do. B e s id e s lan g u a g e, 1 l o v e t o c o o k , do c a ll i g r a p h y , w a lk, swim, and e n jo y good c o n v e r s a t io n . Who d o e s n ’ t en j o y good s e x , eh? 1 s u r e l y d o . I f t h a t i n t e r e s t s you, w r it e . S e e what a l l i t e n t a i l s (pardon t h e pu n ). What e l s e ? Most mags s a y t o be ' p o s i t iv e ' a b o u t o n e s e l f but t h i s i s b eg in n in g t o sound dow n rig h t co n c e i t e d . W ell, t a k e i t a s you s e e ( o a read ) i t . W hile I e n jo y s e x , i s n ' t a f f e c t i o n and hugging and a l i t t l e rom ance m ore im p o rta n t? I th in k s o . A r e la tio n s h ip ? I t would be n i c e bu t who can s a y j u s t now. Maybe Mr. R ig h t i s re a d in g t h i s even now. Is t h i s t h e a l l o t t e d 200 o r s o w ords, RFV? P le a s e ex cu se my v e r b o s i t y but i t had to be s a i d . C o fio n ciptnes Cymraeg [Warmest We ls h r e g a r d s I

S i n c e r e ly , S id n ey G a rcia C aixa P o s t a l 297 09100 S5o B ern ardo d e Campo Sao va u l o , ? r a z i l‘

Message Post P o r t a b l e d w e l l i n g , camoing, hiking, biking, hitching, freight-hopoing new sletter. Simple c o m f o r t s e a s i l y impro v i s e d anywhere. Candid Dtoduct r e p o r t s . Continent-wide since 1980. $5 for 6 issues (2 yrs); $1 Sample PO Bov 1 9 0 - r d , P h i l o m a t h , OR 9 7 3 7 0

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Maui's gay/bi/lesbian com m unity organisations m onthly newsletter available for S 5 , or m ore, in dudes 1 2 monthly issues mailed in plain enevelopes Mailing list kept strictly confidential Send check or m oney order to Both Sides Now, PO Box 5 0 4 2 , Kahului. Maui. Ill 9 6 7 3 2

N A M E -----------------------------Hank W illia m s 91 A n gelview C ou rt, A pt. 24 F r e d e r i c t o n , New B runsw ick Canada F3B 1X4 70

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I'm a 3 8 - yean. o t d E a*t German man, manJiied, bu t w ith gay i n t e A e * t * . My c o n ta c t* have been 6eldom . I tik e paxtnen * my a g e and olden.. My l o v e ii> by men w ith h a in y body and good cock. I'm lo o k in g $on in ten d * i n ter n * t e d in exchan gin g l e t t e n * and good fin ie n d * k ip . Roiand Gnirmen L o n tz in * tn a * ie 16 7010 L e ip z ig , Genman V em ocnatic Rep.

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THE LITTLE BOY UN M E NO ONE SEES THE LITTLE THE LITTLE WHO P A IN T S

by Jim lon<j

BOY IN M E TELLOW

ROOT TOPS YELLOW AND CRIES AT _rn rC THE DEATH OF A TREE NOR DO YOU SEE THE SON WHO TRIES SO HARP TO PLEASE OR THE LITTLE BOY WHO PRAYED "PLEASE OOP, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GROW UP." YOU SEEM TO LOOK AT ME THE WAY LOOK, TOO NOT RECOGNIZING THAT MAN