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How to say “no” to feedback Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen explain how to reject feedback – without getting fired
As communication consultants, we spend a lot of time extolling the benefits of feedback to both individuals and organizations. Feedback helps you learn and improve; if you receive it well you are seen as being more competent and easier to work with, and the organization benefits from your improved skills and relationships. It all seems clear-cut. Until, that is, you place this pro-feedback stance into the context of real people, with real jobs, in real organizations, surrounded by real colleagues. The abstract advice to “take feedback” gets complicated quickly. “What about bad or wrong advice? What if I’m already at maximum capacity for Dialogue Q3 2019
personal change? What if I know they’re just giving me this feedback to tick the boxes?” Are there times when a person is better off not taking feedback? Of course. The question then becomes, how? Can you turn down feedback at work without it damaging your reputation, relationships and job security?
Three kinds of coaching
In our book Thanks for the Feedback, we observe that, broadly, there are three kinds of feedback. They are: appreciation – “thank you for your efforts”; evaluation – “here is where you stand compared to others”; and coaching – “here’s