For centuries scientists have developed and refined theories to help better explain the natural world. The big question is can these theories be applied to the world of parents to help better explain the inelegant flux of fatherhood? Let’s take one of life’s little everyday situations. Nothing major, just one of those depressingly regular little moments that happens so often it scrapes and scratches away a little more at your soul each day.
did it (for reference purposes the last five sentences I only think in my head).
Occam’s Razor
You walk into a room in your house and find crayon/paint/food on the walls/ceilings/my face.
This is the principle of parsimony, economy or succinctness named after a 14th century Franciscan friar William of Ockham. Basically, the most likely explanation is most often the correct one. In “the scenario”, the crayoning/smearing culprit most likely won’t be ‘the wobbly blue catbird’ that your child blames. It will most likely be them, the little smeary bastards (again, that thought I try and keep under wraps).
Schrodinger’s Cat
Newton’s Third Law Of Motion
The Scenario
Simply stated when you observe particles you can affect how they behave. Schrodinger created a thought experiment using a cat, a box and a vial of poison triggered by a degrading particle. Schrodinger stated that the cat will be both dead and alive at the same time because the poison triggering particle can both degrade and not degrade at the same time. In short observation affects reality. In the context of “the scenario” your child has behaved in a certain way because they haven’t been observed. They’ll tell you that they don’t know what happened, but I know. Oh yes I know, goddamnit. It was him. He’s the one that did all the smearing. He did it. He
As you will no doubt remember, this is the law that states every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I find the best reaction to the smearing scenario is to go to the kids’ sweet tin when they’re not looking and nick all the choicest sweetie morsels. Simply then deny all knowledge of the sweet theft by claiming they were all eaten by a wobbly blue catbird. Parents: 1 Children: 8. In your face, kids. You can follow Frazzled Daddy on Twitter @FRAZZLEDDADDY
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