Thursday LOVELAND REPORTER-HERALD/Health Line of Northern Colorado September 15, 2011 17
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Health in a Handbasket
Cruising for a Bruising Jade Cody Reporter-Herald
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oing on a cruise has health disaster written all over it. Especially when a hurricane is chasing the ship. This was the scene for me and my family earlier this month. We cruised out of New York a few hours ahead of Hurricane Irene, which at that time was a category one hurricane (it later reduced to a tropical storm). I had planned to write this Health in a Handbasket column about staying healthy and fit while on vacation, but it became more about staying alive when cruising with a hurricane. The alive part prevailed, however, and we enjoyed ourselves on the cruise. This was my first time cruising, and the stories I had heard about the massive amounts of delicious food had me scared about staying on track with my fitness goals. Once on the ship, I was no longer frightened. I forgot about fitness completely. Eating right suddenly meant ordering two entrees instead of one at each meal. I consumed more steak and pizza than any human in the history of the world. There was a gym on the ship, but with the swaying and rocking, running on the treadmill became a deadly concept. I tried, and after getting my foot caught on the side of the treadmill, I thought better of it. I instead did a few reps of strength training, but all I could think about was how I needed to be lounging in a chair playing the cloud shape game (I did, and I saw a duck. True story). So even though I failed miserably on my own health plan, I came back with advice for vacationers not wanting to get off track with their health: Don’t go. Yeah, you could watch your calories when eating, skip those drinks during bingo and exercise every day. But how is that vacation? Here are some realistic (for me) tips on doing what you can to stay fit on a cruise.
feat, because ships have a whole bunch of stairs. Also, be sure to get lost in New York if possible. I was using a navigation app on my phone one night after getting off the subway to walk to our hotel, and the app helped us walk far beyond where we needed to be. Yes, there’s an app for that. My dad tried asking strangers for directions to our hotel, but for some reason nobody felt like helping. On the plus side, we did not get mugged (although running from a mugger is a fantastic way to burn calories ... I smell a workout video idea).
STAY UPRIGHT IN THE SHOWER Sounds easy, right? Wait until you close your eyes during the shampoo part. Irene was having some fun with me. Also, it’s best to do the shampoo part before cocktail hour.
BRING THE GIRLFRIEND If you are going on vacation with your significant other, encourage her to bring every item that is in her closet (just in case, cause you never know if you’ll need that eighth pair of pumps). Then, when you’re stopped at the touristy port shops, have her buy one of everything. After that, wrestle it all in her suitcase, half of her stuff now in your suitcase, and lug it around. Apologize to bell hops and airport personnel for their future chiropractic appointments. For the record, I have no idea what pumps are.
LIE TO YOURSELF
I found that it is best to tell yourself lies when cruising. Suggestions? Sure. Try these out: • It is normal to want to lie down at the dinner table. • Tomorrow I’m going to (insert fitness activity), so everything I’m CARRY A TWO-YEAR-OLD doing right now is fine. Even the chicken dance. If possible, carry small children wherever you go. My little • Steak has protein, and that’s just plain good for me. niece came along, and whenever she would allow it, I toted her like a football. She’s only a 25-pounder, but after awhile that gets • Pizza slices are supposed to be bigger than my plate. heavy, too. Especially if she squirms. And she squirms. • That fat roll really brings out the color of my eyes. Be careful about trying to carry other people’s two-year-olds, So, even though I didn’t gain any weight during vacation, I’m though. That’s illegal. Puppies and buckets of Corona can be subabsolutely positive that I am in worse physical condition now stituted if you don’t have toddler access. than before I left. I apologize for not offering any real advice on STAIR MASTER staying fit while traveling, but I’m not sorry for enjoying myself on The best thing that I found was to walk mostly everywhere and the cruise. Now that I’m back, I am ready to get back to regular take the stairs as much as possible on the ship. And that’s no small workouts and not eating like a pre-hibernation bear.