[radius] = love, equally, without judgment
To love is to be there. If you are not there, how can you love? The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence. Thich Nhat Hanh, from True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart I recently met a couple who will soon celebrate 35 years of being in a loving, committed relationship. Native Floridians, they met while working at Disney World. I can only imagine how many romances have been ignited at the happiest place on Earth. For these two, the spark yielded a flame that has burned bright for almost four decades.
Ten years ago, desiring a change of weather--Florida summers can be brutally humid--the couple relocated to Reno. Retired now, they spend much of their time at home, tooling around the house and yard. They enjoy exploring America’s west and have found the Biggest Little City a very welcoming place to enjoy this mature season of life. I didn’t ask permission to use their names, so to protect their privacy I will call these two lovely gentlemen David and Richard. To celebrate their 35th anniversary in July, David and Richard are getting married. My husband Brad Horn and I have a wedding photography business, and we earned the privilege of photographing this extraordinarily special day. As these men are a bit older, their parents have passed and will not be able to celebrate their special day, but they will be joined by numerous friends and family. We received this blessing as a referral from our friends Andy and Kevin, another lovely couple who have been together almost 25 years, and will soon commemorate that milestone with matrimony as well. Last month, we photographed the wedding of a gay couple who have been together 30 years. A small group of friends and family gathered in the backyard for an intimate celebration, one that neither these men, nor David and Richard, nor Andy and Kevin thought they would be able to have in their lifetime. I went through my share of unhealthy relationships before finally settling down with my sweet Brad. Love is tough. Finding someone you feel intimately connected to, that you desire to be fully present with, is a blessing. To remain in love with that person as the years pass and you both change, to grow closer with that individual, to support and be supported by someone who wishes only for your happiness—these qualities are nothing short of a miracle. True love is a gift from the Divine. I cannot imagine anyone telling me my love for Brad was inherently evil, that I am a deviant for sharing intimacy with this jewel of a human. Yet that is what my friends referenced here, and scores of other men and
women I adore, have been told. Until recently, they have been denied the right to seal their love with the bond of marriage. Andy and Kevin got married in San Francisco in 2004 during a short window that then Mayor Gavin Newsom had opened. The California Supreme Court revoked their marriage license later that same year. During Nevada’s last legislative session, my friends Brian and Jeromy (pictured in the photos accompanying this column) were on the front lines petitioning for the Silver State to remove the veil of discrimination. As I’m writing this, the United States Supreme Court is weighing a decision that will hopefully put this injustice to rest, finally making gay marriage the same as traditional marriage. Brad and I have been emotionally overwhelmed by the same-sex couples whose weddings we have the privilege of capturing. We feel deeply grateful to be intimately involved in such a special time in history, both our collective history as a nation and the personal histories of each couple’s lives. We are ecstatic to share joy, openly, with people in love, with no concern whether they are gay or straight. As injustice continues to subside, more gay Nevadans will feel welcome into the institution of marriage. Recognizing the need to create an atmosphere of tolerance and inclusiveness in a traditionally heteronormative institution, the Nevada Museum of Art will host an LGBTQ friendly wedding faire on Saturday, August 1. The Art of Love will feature photographers, clothiers, DJs, wedding planners, florists, officiants, and other vendors who are in the business of celebrating love without judgment. Throughout the day, educational seminars will take place on various topics of concern for same-sex couples, like family planning and property management. The Museum is working with a number of local organizations to produce content, and to ensure everyone feels welcome. Get details at www.nevadaart.org. It’s difficult to navigate this world, weighed down with generations of negative baggage we must try and shed as we move along. Should we be fortunate enough to find a sidekick to share in the journey, we must do our best to nurture that love, regardless of gender. Amanda Horn is a Reno-based writer, yogini, and creative community enthusiast. A former circus performer, she has been pushing boundaries most of her life, constantly redefining her own and testing the radius of the world she inhabits. She currently serves as Director of Communications for the Nevada Museum of Art. Follow her on Twitter @TeboHorn or email her at amanda. horn@nevadaart.org. Reno Tahoe Tonight 83