A PROBABILITY OF WORDS Text Thomas Lloyd Qualls Photo Johnstone Studios
Be That.
That thing you want to do. Do that. That way you want to feel. Feel that. That one you want to be. Be that. Yes, you. I am most definitely talking to you. The one who thinks these rules don’t apply to you. The one who thinks these tricks only work for other people. The one who thinks life is for everyone but you. Or maybe not everyone. But definitely not you. Yes, you. Of course, you.
There will always be reasons why not. Of course there will. Everything exists. Everything. Including all the things you don’t want. But this also means all the things you do want must exist. It has never been any other way.
There will always be the other side of things. There will always be mistakes. And distractions. And bad decisions. And unintended debt. And obligations to this thing and that person. Appointments and all manner of tasks we believe must come first. Of course there will. But the secret no one tells you is that all of these things bend. They are more flexible than you ever imagined. And you are more magician than you ever thought. And the thing you want more than anything. If you believe in it, then it is the hat, and your dream is the rabbit. And all you have to do is reach down and pull it out.
This is all there is. 6 Reno Tahoe Tonight
This is it. And it’s real. And the only thing you’ve ever done that is truly irresponsible is to ignore it. You know I’m right. And you know you've spent your whole life putting obstacles in your way. So believe me when I say your only real job is to get it right. To do that thing. To feel the feeling. To be that. To live the life you can feel but not see or touch. Not yet. But you will. Forget everything else. Forget all the reasons why not. Forget all your excuses. Forget your broken rhythms. Your missteps. Your hesitations. Your plans that never came to fruition. Forget anger. Forget resentment. Forget everything that came before. Forget your criticisms. Your fear. Your self-doubt. And forgive all these things, too. Trust me when I tell you that in this new place you are going none of these things matter. I am inviting you to step into a new world. One where none of the old rules apply. It is more than just some Matrix of your imagination, it is kingdom made of bricks and mortar, water and clay. And it is every bit as real and the one you’ve been wallowing in for years. Everything exists. Including this.
Make this the time. Right now. In this season of renewal and rebirth. Give yourself the one present you want more than anything. Do yourself the one favor you’ve been hoping someone else would do. That life you want. That person you want to be. Be that. Gather up all your other lists. Scratch off every item but this. Tear up your letter to Santa and write a new one, with only this one thing on it. And then put on the red coat yourself and place it under your tree.
If you do this, your life will change. The world will change. And you will change. Into the one that you want. But you must act. You must believe. And you must be willing to take the chance.
You must have the courage.
Find the courage. Be the courage. Blindfold yourself so you are unable to see the doubts that line your face. And then reach down into the dark and grapple until you find the stillsmoldering ember of faith. Then grab it with your cold hand. And carry it back to your hearth. To the secret center of your heart. Where no one else has been. You must sit with it. Feed it. Nurture it. Watch it grow. Let its warmth seep into every cell of you. Let its flame reach into the places you guard with your very life. Let it ignite all the tiny carefully wrapped bundles of every dream you’ve ever had. Let it spread. Until its light catches your soul on fire. Then watch it burn. Forget the drop and roll. Run out into the night of your blindness. A blazing torch of fulfillment. Then set fire to the lifetime of walls you've built between you and it. And watch them burn.
Then dance.
Maybe for the first time in your life. Really dance. Beneath the big blue and black borderless sky. Beyond all fear, all excuses, all doubts. Let your light reach all the way to the stars. And then be still and listen. For the whispered gasp of the stars as they gaze upon your brilliance. This is all there is. Stop pretending it isn’t. Go on. Light it up. That life you want to have. Be that.