Advice Goddess

Sleepless in Fallujah

I just broke up with my girlfriend of seven months. We fought constantly, but the sex was amazing. Reviewing my relationships, it seems I have the best sex in the volatile ones—those where we argue all the time and really don’t get along. I’m wondering whether there’s a connection between anger and sex. Sex can be a form of peacekeeping, since your girlfriend can’t be screaming that you loaded the dishwasher wrong if she’s screaming, “OHGOD!OHGOD!OHGOD!”

But is there a thin line between longing and longing to throttle someone? Justin Garcia, an evolutionary biologist at the Kinsey Institute, told me that “in general, relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction seem to correlate.” In other words, when your love life is in the toilet, your sex life is quick to join it for a swim.

That said, Garcia says there’s some evidence for a “subgroup of people who can have very volatile relationships but very passionate sexual lives together.” This seems to have something to do with the body’s response to stress. Researchers call this stress response “arousal”—which is cute, because it’s erotic on the level of having a condominium placed on your chest.

Sex researcher Cindy Meston and evolutionary psychologist David Buss explain in Why Women Have Sex that a stressful situation activates a “fight or flight” reaction in the sympathetic nervous system, making your heart race and your blood pressure zoom and leading your brain to release norepinephrine, a brain chemical that, molecularly, is the first cousin of speed.

This helps explain why prolonged activation of the sympathetic nervous system—as in, prolonged stress or anxiety with no physical outlet—can be physically unbearable. Many who regularly experience this sort of stress-athon take anti-anxiety drugs like Xanax to calm down. But in Meston’s research on female arousal, some women found sex to be a substitute chill pill (and, depending on the partner, far less tedious than climbing six tall buildings on the StairMaster). Some women even reported that stress makes them feel turned on. Which makes stress sound like it has its sexy points—that is, unless you’re a man, because sympathetic nervous system overarousal is the body’s little erection-killer.

Seeing as this doesn’t seem to be a problem for you, when you’re in one of those boringly healthy relationships, sure, you could pick fights and hope this leads to more exciting sex and not less sex, no sex, or no more girlfriend. Or … you could opt for a more positively energizing activity, like paintball, Super Soaker tag, or an intense pillow fight. Aerobic exercise and competition both boost testosterone—a libido picker-upper in both men and women. They also increase energy and arousal—and probably more so if you add a little playful goading and teasing to the mix. But, as Meston and Buss point out, what you should definitely avoid is the advice of many self-help books to “romance” a woman with soothing music, a bubble bath, or a massage. Remember, you’re trying to get a woman in the mood, not put her in a coma: “Oh, baby, you make me so—wait … are you snoring?” Hat crime

My boyfriend of six months lives an hour away. We’ve had weekend overnights, but now he wants to come visit for an entire week. I’m super-excited but—don’t laugh— worried about him seeing me in my shower cap. (My hair takes 45 minutes to blow-dry, so I wash it only once a week.) My ex-husband used to make fun of me for wearing it, telling me how unsexy and stupid-looking it was. How do I introduce my boyfriend to this thing? Introducing your boyfriend to your plastic shower hat? Easy: “Hi, meet the end of your erections.”

Consider that there are lots of hot sex scenes in movies that take place in showers. Note that no woman in any of them is wearing a shower cap. This is not an accident or omission on the part of countless movie directors. Male sexuality evolved to be visually driven— and no, not by the sort of visuals that scare a man into thinking he’s walked in on Aunt Bea. (And—nice try, shower cap manufacturers!—calling it “Bath Diva” or making it in an animal print doesn’t change that.)

Yeah, I know, it’s what’s on the inside that counts— but not if a guy doesn’t want to have sex with what’s on the outside. And by the way, it’s hard enough to find a romantic partner attractive over time. Do you really want to give your boyfriend a visual obstacle course? Instead, be open about your deepest hopes, fears, and dreams— right before you lock yourself in the bathroom with the elasticized stepsister of the plastic grocery sack. Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

Nevada Fair

The four-day event showcases Nevada’s agriculture, mining and culture. Highlights include a 4H/FFA livestock show with an auction and small animal show, dairy cow and dairy goat show, horse show, sewing, baking and crafts, truck pulls, circus acts, live bands and a carnival, among other events and attractions. Wristbands purchased during the fair will cost $30. The Bulls & Broncs event takes place on Friday, July 31, at 7 p.m. Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the gate. Truck and Tractor Pulls take place on Saturday, Aug. 1, at 7 p.m. Tickets are $5.25-$10.25. The fair kicks off on Thursday, July 30, and runs through Sunday, Aug. 2, at Fuji Park, 601 Old Clear Creek Road, Carson City. Call 283-7469 or visit http://nevadafair.com.

HOLLAND PROJECT MICRO GALLERY AT BIBO

COFFEE CO.: Capturing the Sound, Moments captured on film poignantly document the emotions and experiences of the viewers.

This photo exhibition will showcase local bands and shows at alternative venues and

DIY music spaces in Reno. M-Su through 7/31.

Free. 945 Record St., (775) 348-8087. JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,

RENO: I Am My Brother’s Keeper, Yad

Vashem’s new exhibition pays tribute to the courageous deeds of the Righteous

Among the Nations and to the resilience and determination of those who survived the Holocaust. The exhibition makes use of state-of-the-art multimedia productions to bring the actual voices of both the rescuers and those who were rescued to the audience, reflecting upon their moral choices and engaging the audience to contemplate how spontaneous, intuitive decisions can make a difference and save lives. Through 8/15, 4-8pm. Free. 900 N. Virginia St.; (775) 784-6837. MCKINLEY ARTS & CULTURE CENTER: Fifty

Shades of Green: Antonia Lowden, McKinley Gallery West hosts new work by local artist Antonia Lowden. Fifty Shades of Green features tapestries that explore the artist’s changing impression of the Arizona landscape in winter. M-F, 8am-5pm through 8/14. Free. Snow Drawings: Sonja Hinrichsen, McKinley Gallery East hosts new work by Sonja Hinrichsen. Snow Drawings is an ongoing environmental project in which the artist draws designs into fresh snow on open fields. M-F, 8am-5pm through 8/14. Free.

925 Riverside Drive, (775) 334-2417. METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: Under

Shelter: Judy Schott, Metro Gallery in City Hall hosts new work by local artist Judy Schott. The exhibit features 25 portraits of people living in family shelters run by Volunteers of America. Each image is accompanied by a short story from the individuals. M-F, 9am-5pm through 8/14. Free. 1 E.

First St., (775) 334-2417. NORTH TAHOE ARTS CENTER: Two New Exhibits

at North Tahoe Arts, i>All in the Details features new watercolors by Lisa Jefferson in the Main Gallery and Abstract Realities, a collection of mixed media paintings and collage by Connie Rodriguez and Tricia Poulos

Leonard, will be on display in the Corison

Loft Gallery. Through 8/3, 11am-5pm. Free.

August Art Exhibits at North Tahoe Arts,

Piecing Together Landscapes, mosaics by

Kate Kerrigan, is on display in the NTA Main

Gallery. The Collection, landscape and plein air paintings, by Seth Johnson, is on display in the NTA Corison Loft Gallery.The opening reception will be hosted at North Tahoe Arts on Friday, Aug. 7, from 5-7 p.m. 8/4-8/31, 11am-5pm. Free. 380 North Lake Blvd. Art

Gallery & Gift Shop in Tahoe City; (530) 581-2787; www.northtahoearts.com. SIERRA ARTS GALLERY: Wise Witches: A collection by Franz Szony, The exhibition features a gallery of “photographic busts” and dreamscapes celebrating the divine feminine, the androgynous and the supernatural. The opening reception is on Thursday,

July 2, at 7pm. Tu-Sa, 10am-5pm through 7/31.

Free. 17 S. Virginia St., (775) 329-2787, www.sierra-arts.org. UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Reflections

on Pyramid Lake, An exhibit put on by the University of Nevada Reno’s Special Collections showcasing historic, artistic, scientific, native and natural visions. M-F through 9/15. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-1110; www.unr.edu.

Museums

NATIONAL AUTOMOBILE MUSEUM (THE HARRAH

exploring new frontiers and the machines that make it possible. M-Su through 4/11. $4-$10, free for members and children age 5 and younger. Contact National Auto Museum (775) 333-9300, www.automuseum.org/ exhibits for details on this exhibit. 10 S. Lake

St., (775) 333-9300. NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Andrea Zittel:

Wallsprawl, W-Su through 8/16. $1-$10. 160 W.

Liberty St., (775) 329-3333; www.nevadaart.org. SPARKS HERITAGE MUSEUM: Impressions of

Nevada, Local artist Dan Whittemore’s paintings are inspired by hikes through Nevada’s wildness. An opening reception with refreshments will be held Friday, July 17, from 5 to 7 p.m. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through

7/31. Free. 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144, www.sparksmuseum.org.

Film

MOONLIGHT MOVIE SERIES: Brasserie St. James’

summer movie series takes place every Thursday on the Rooftop Patio. Dress in character to receive drink specials. Enjoy live entertainment following the movie. Visit the bar’s facebook page for weekly movie and character specifics. Th, 8-11pm through 9/24. Free. Brasserie St. James, 901 S. Center St., (775) 348-8888, www.facebook. com/BrasserieSaintJames?fref=ts.

THE WRECKING CREW (2008) USA: A music

documentary by Denny Tedesco about a little-known group of studio musicians who contributed to hundreds of chart-topping singles. Tu, 8/4, 7pm. $7 general, $6 students, seniors, $5 members. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-3716, www.artemisiamovies.org.

Music

BLUESDAYS AT SQUAW VALLEY: Blues musicians

from around the country take center stage and perform free concerts. Tu, 6-8:30pm through 9/8. Free. The Village at Squaw Valley

USA, 1750 Village East Road, Olympic Valley, (866) 818-6963, http://squawalpine.com/ events-things-do/bluesdays-squaw. LAZY 5 REGIONAL PARK SUMMER MUSIC SERIES:

The outdoor concert series includes a farmers’ market and free kids’ crafts sessions. W, 6:30pm through 8/12. Free. Lazy 5

Regional Park, 7100 Pyramid Lake Highway,

Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1866, www. washoecounty.us/parks/index.php. MOON INSPIRED MUSIC ON THE RIVER: Marina

Roznitovsky Oster in repertoire of harp solos. Enjoy harp-shaped cookies, other treats and something to drink during intermission. Th, 7/30, 7:30-9:30pm. $10

suggested donation. River School Farm, 7777 White Fir St., (775) 747-2222, www.renoisartown.com.

MUSIC ON THE BEACH 2015 SUMMER CONCERTS:

Concerts featuring local and regional acts take place at Kings Beach State Recreation

Area on Friday nights through Aug. 7. F, 6:309pm through 8/7. Free. Kings Beach State

Recreation Area, 8318 North Lake Blvd.,

Kings Beach, (530) 546-9000, www.northtahoebusiness.org/music-on-the-beach. MUSIC ON THE LAWN: Valhalla Art, Music and

Theatre Festival’s annual series of free

Sunday afternoon concerts features The

Yolos on Aug. 2. Su, 8/2, 12-2pm. Free. Valhalla

Grand Hall/Grand Lawn, Tallac Historic Site, 1

Valhalla Road, South Lake Tahoe, (530) 541-4975; http://valhallatahoe.com. ROLLIN’ ON THE RIVER: The RN&R’s 20th summer concert series concludes with a performance by blues artist Charlie Musselwhite with opening act Guitar Woody and the

Boilers. F, 7/31, 5-8pm. Free. Wingfield Park, 300 W. First St., (775) 324-4440, www.newsreview.com/reno.

SUMMER SOIREE UNDER THE STARS: MARY

CHAPIN CARPENTER: The country singer will be joined on stage by Jon Carroll on piano and Jonathan Trebing on guitar. Th, 7/30, 7-10pm. $50 assigned seating, $40 lawn seating. Robert Z. Hawkins Amphitheater, Bartley Ranch Regional Park, 6000 Bartley Ranch Road, (775) 322-1538, www.renoisartown.com.

TOCCATA SUMMER MUSICFEST: The TOCCATA-

Tahoe Symphony Orchestra concert with Maestro James Rawie conducting opens with Mozart’s Sinfonie Concertante KV 364 performed by soloists Alex Eisenberg on violin and TianTian Lan on viola. They will also perform as soloists for Bach’s Concerto for Two Violins in D Minor. Sopranos Irina Kasimova and Ania Helwing will perform arias from Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro and Il Re Pastore (The Shepherd King) and also the “Laudamus Te” from Mozart’s Mass in C minor. Mayu Nomura closes the show with Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 17 in G Major. Tu, 8/4, 7pm. $5-$35; general admission free for youth under age 18. St. Theresa Catholic Church, 1041 Lyons Ave., South Lake Tahoe, (775) 313-9697; www.toccatatahoe.com.

Sports & Fitness

GUIDED HIKE: Enjoy a guided hike through

Galena Creek Park with a local specialist.

Please bring appropriate clothing and plenty of water. The hike intensity varies, depending on the audience. Sa, 10am-noon. $5 suggested donation. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250

Mt. Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948, www.thegreatbasininstitute.org. YOGA SQUAW’D: Complimentary community classes led by local yoga instructors. Hosted by Squaw’s Wanderlust Yoga Studio, these 75-minute classes will take place rain or shine at 5 p.m. W, 5pm through 8/26. Free.

The Village at Squaw Valley USA, 1750 Village

East Road, Olympic Valley, (800) 403-0206, http://squawalpine.com/events-things-do/ yoga-squawd.

Onstage

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: The

classic tale Charlie and the Chocolate

Factory by British author Roald Dahl will be performed at Renown’s Regional Medical

Center and feature the adventures of young

Charlie Bucket inside the chocolate factory of eccentric chocolatier Willy Wonka with other children, including Augustus Gloop and the factory’s Oompa Loompas. F, 7/31, 7pm. Free. Mack Auditorium, Renown Medical

Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 284-0789, http://bit.ly/CharlieChocolateFactory. THE FULL MONTY: Brüka Theatre presents the comedic musical theater hit based on the cult film of the same name with a book by Terrence McNally and score by David

Yazbek. Th, 7/30, 8pm; F, 7/31, 8pm; Sa, 8/1,

8pm. $22 for general, $20 for students, seniors and military, $25 for all tickets at the door. Brüka Theatre, 99 N. Virginia St., (775) 323-3221, www.bruka.org. LAST CALL AT THE OLD SOUTHWEST: GLM’s

2015 Playwright in Residence Christopher Daniels presents Last Call at the Old Southwest. Told over the course of 40 years, this piece relates the story of drag queen Mother Mary and her bar The Old Southwest and her struggle for acceptance and understanding in the shifting politics of society. F, Sa, 7:30pm through 8/1.

$15. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-3716, http://lastcallatoldsouthwest.bpt.me. ROMEO & JULIET—THE BALLET: Sierra Nevada

Ballet presents William Shakespeare’s classic tale of star-crossed lovers.The full-length dramatic story will portray the traditional tale with a twist—the viewpoints of the women of the time and Juliet’s mother, Lady Capulet. It will be performed as a two-act ballet, set to the music of

Sergei Prokofiev and featuring a cast of 45 dancers. Sa, 8/1, 7:30pm. $18-$30. Nightingale

Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Complex,

University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia

St., (775) 784-4278. YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN: Reno Little

Theater performs its first musical in over a decade. Charles M. Schulz’s classic Peanuts characters come to life in this family-friendly play. Th, 7/30, 7:30pm; F, 7/31, 7:30pm; Sa, 8/1, 2

& 7:30pm; Su, 8/2, 2pm. $16 general admission, $13 students, seniors, military. Reno Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 813-8900, www.renolittletheater.org.

Classes

THE BREASTFEEDING FORUM: Breast-feeding

mothers are invited to join this breast-feeding support group. Mothers discuss concerns such as milk supply, pumping, going back to work, sleeping or lack of sleep, etc.

RSVP at http://doodle.com/cy5nrur23mbg6pie. Tu, 4-5pm. $10, free for first-time attendees. Renown South Meadows Medical

Center, 10101 Double R Blvd., (775) 240-9916, www.wellnourishedbaby.com. FELDENKRAIS CLASSES: Guided Feldenkrais classes in pain-free movement will give you the tools you need to improve stability, balance and performance and increase your vitality and flexibility as you learn to do slow, non-habitual movements with focused attention. These carefully structured lessons activate neural pathways, relieve pain and stress, and improve the communication between you brain and body. Tu, 10-11:30am through 12/15. $12 drop-in. Midtown Fitness, 600 S. Center St. Ste. 300; (775) 240-7882; www.renofeldenkrais.blogspot.com. WATERCOLOR PAINTER’S OPEN GROUP: This is an

informal group of watercolor painters who paint together and learn from each other. F, 7/31, 9am-noon. $5 walk-in fee. Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St.; (775) 786-1128.

The Reno News & Review’s Join the Pack! guide provides a complete introduction to life on and off campus for new university and college students. From cheap eats to live music, laundromats to bike shops, Join the Pack! gives the low-down on college life in the Biggest Little City in the World.

This special supplement hits the streets on August 13th,

just as students return and move in for the fall semester. If you’re interested in reaching college students for your business, this is the perfect place for your message. Advertising deadline is August 5th. Please call 324-4440, ext. 3526 to reserve your spot!

Nevada Tattoo Removal at Murphy Plastic Surgery, Why Picosure Laser for Tattoo Removal?

With the Picosure, picosecond laser, the incredible speed of the laser acts as a pressure wave, blasting the ink into tiny sand like particles. The body can take care of these particles much faster and more efficiently than the larger particles from a traditional Q-switched laser. This means that on average, we can treat every 6 weeks very safely and effectively. We will always make sure the area is healed. If your tattoo removal clinician is telling you to come in every 4 weeks, beware. If you treat a tattoo too often and the skin is not healed properly, you have now created scar tissue, and most likely put ink into the scar. Guess What? The ink is not going away. At Nevada Tattoo Removal within Murphy Plastic Surgery, we have the best of both worlds. The Picosure is more costly than our RevLite SI Q-switched yag. But, 1 treatment of Picosure is like 3 treatments of the Yag. More effective, less time. In the long run, you will spend less money with the Picosure, and a lot less time. We have the best lasers in both categories. PICOSURE LASER can provide a clean canvas for fresh ink, faster than any other tattoo removal treatment or laser. www.nevadatattooremoval.com

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Less discomfort...fewer sessions...better results! Murphy Plastic Surgery • 10401 Double R Blvd (775) 322-3454 • NevadaTattooRemoval.com

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