They may be the ones who deserve these movie gifts BY BOB GRIMM
It’s holiday time,
and you want to look cool when you pick a movie for somebody as a gift. That’s why this list is here, because I’m cool (or so says my dog), and I can be a reliable guide at this time of year. And when I say guide, I mean shopping guru. I’m no Sherpa. Don’t take me on any mountain hikes because I will get you lost, and I will cry if a bear eats you. So here we go, my list of some of the better home viewing options for 2014. If you give one of these, and the person who gets it has actually read this article, then they will know you cheated and aren’t at all original in your gift giving. That’s OK—we all have our shortcomings. Prices listed are from Amazon.com at time of writing.
The Box Set I Want The Most Halloween: The Complete Collection (Blu-ray) $100.96 Hey, I’m not shy. This is probably my only chance to let folks know what I really want under the Christmas tree over at their place because I don’t have one. This puppy comes with all of the Halloween movies, even the ones Rob Zombie did, and a big load of extras. OK, so now you know. Would somebody buy this for me, please?
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DECEMBER 18, 2014
Cult Greatness UHF (Blu-ray) $14.59 Shout Factory has grown into one of the cooler purveyors of cult cinema home viewing. Weird Al Yankovic’s one and only foray into headlining a movie was great satire in its day, and it’s still funny. Michael Richards kicked ass as Stanley the Janitor, and the “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!” moment still kills me. Eraserhead (Blu-ray) $30.91 What can bring on the holiday cheer quicker than an embalmed cow fetus crying for its mommy? I say, nothing whatsoever! Give this one along with the later mentioned Twin Peaks box set to give that special someone a joyous David Lynch geekgasm. It’s Criterion, so that means it costs a little more than the average Blu-ray, but it’s totally worth it. Snowpiercer (Blu-ray) $9.99 This came out this year, and it’s an instant cult classic. Yes, it’s an apocalypse film, but there’s lots of snow in it, so that makes it qualify
as somewhat of a holiday movie. Hey, even though this one is about the survival of the planet and contains some gross stuff, it’s no scarier than that freaking creepy The Polar Express animated movie. Monty Python Live: One Down, Five to Go (Blu-ray) $18.74 The alleged last Python show ever was a little sloppy, but everybody left alive in the troupe is something like 139 years old now, so we’ll cut them some slack. The five remaining Pythons did a final stretch of live performances in London, with big musical numbers and a surprisingly nimble Terry Gilliam jumping 10 feet off the ground during the Spanish Inquisition sketch. Frank (Blu-ray) $12.99 Here’s another movie from this year that next to nobody saw, but garners that instant cult classic badge. Michael Fassbender wears a big mask on his head the whole time, and the results are one of the year’s funniest movies. Give this to the music lover who idolizes Syd Barrett.
Give The Gift Of Garbage To Someone You Despise Blended (Blu-ray) $22.99 Remember when we used to gather around the TV in the living room around holiday time, ready for a good laugh? We’d have the fireplace going, and we’d pop in the latest Adam Sandler flick for chuckle time. We’d roast candy canes, and smoke marshmallows, safe in the knowledge that Sandler would provide a couple of good gutbusters.
Those days are so gone. Long gone. This movie is a crime against movies, people, dogs and various insects. Give it to somebody you can’t stand, and then run out of the house as soon as they unwrap it. Trust me, you don’t want to be there when this Blu-ray goes live.
